imagine-darksiders

You know that conversation couples have before they get intimate where they discuss what they like or what they aren’t comfortable with? Imagine having that conversation with War. He wears his usual deadpan expression, but inwardly he’s shrieking in panic because you’re far more adventurous than he’d have ever expected. Kinky bitch. 

so, I was thinking...

since a lot of my peeps still aren’t all down with their classes yet, I decided to dig up my old DnD manual and make a list of the best classes and backgrounds I could find! if anyone likes, they can select and go with it!

@imagine-darksiders

@askthedarksidersfam

@darksiders-scenarios

@bunnythemurderer

@alqulyndrys

@memesiders

@madyson-delayne

@mopiece

whoever the fuck else in involved… Jesus, this took forever…


barbarian- In battle, you fight with primeval ferocity. Rage is a key factor when it comes to your combat style. You can take a hit, and dish one out, too. You are a moving mountain fueled by rage and hatred, but your party takes care of you, and you protecc them. So whether you fight with your fists or a giant axe, know that your team can always count on you for a bloodbath!

bard- you’ve wandered the lands, playing music, telling tales, and entertaining audiences with your talent. Rarely does a community not welcome you in, as you bring the news of distant lands to the common folk. You can always find a spot to preform, usually at an inn or tavern. At such a place, you receive free lodging and food as long as you preform each night. In addition, your performances make you something of a local celebrity. When strangers recognize you in a town where you have preformed, they typically take a liking to you.

Oh, by the way, you can hypnotize people with music. Just sayin’.

bounty hunter-However fine and noble at first glance, know that a ruthless jailer lies beneath. You’ll hand anyone over… For the right price.

charlatan- you’re a liar, a thief, a cheat, and a sneak. But you do what you can to do the right thing… the wrong way…

city watch- you have served your Community  where you grew up, standing as the first line of defense against crime. You’re no scholar, directing your gaze out toward possible enemies. Instead, you devote your service to your hometown, or in this case, your base. You’re basically the cop of the party. (talk to your DM about the services preformed as a city watchman)

crafter- you find trash and build stuff with it.

cleric- you’ve always had a thing for healing people and making them feel better. You feel like it’s your calling, the thing you were put on this planet to do! Guided by the hand of you deity, you can wreak havok, or weave miracles. As the paladin or monk, should you wind up in a temple or place of worship, you’ll be granted with healing, food, spells, items, and maybe even a chat with you God or Goddess.

cloistered scholar- as a child, you were inquisitive while your playmates were possessive and raucous. In your formative years, you found your way to a great institution of learning… and never came out. You stayed in school forever and now, you’re a genius. That’s pretty much what this whole class entails. Smart. As. Fuck.

commoner- you came from a humble social rank, perhaps a working as a farmer, or an average joe. Although your background may not be a glamorous as others, you find it easy to blend in wherever you go and have some sort of folksy wisdom that can sometimes help you out of a jam.

courtier- in your early years, you were the personage of some significance in the noble court or organization. You may or may not have come from an upper-crust family; your talents, rather than the circumstances of your birth, could have secure your position. You might have been one of the many functionaries, attendants, and other hangers-on in the court of the nobles, or maybe even a behind-the-scenes lawkeeper!

Even if you are no longer a person of importance, your relationships with your party members can be an advantage for you. You might undertake missions with your new companions that further the interests of your organization that gave you a start in life. In any event, the abilities that you honed while serving as a courtier will stand you in good stead as an adventurer.

criminal-you have a knack for breaking the law, and you’re awfully proud of that. You’ve spent a lot of time among other crooks, and may or may not still have contact with your criminal buddies.You’re far closer than most to the world of murder, theft, and violence that pervades the underbelly of civilization, and you’ve survived up to this point by bending the rules and regulations of society. (talk to your DM about your criminal specialties)

Druid- you love the world around you, and all of its creatures! You speak the ancient language of the druids, allowing you to communicate with animals, as well as races outside of your own. Your magic comes from the divine essence of nature itself, that you can cast at your will. Creatures, as well as some monsters are more inclined to listen and help you if you ask.

far traveler- almost all of the common people and other folk that one might encounter here have one thing in common: most live out their lives without ever traveling more than a few miles from their homeland. You aren’t one of those people. You are from a distant place, one so remote that few even know this place exists. You have come to this part of the world for your own reasons, which you may or may not chose to share. Although you will undoubtedly some of this land’s ways to be strange and uncomfortable, you can also be sure that some things its people take for granted will be to you, a new wonder that you’ve never seen. By the same token, you’re a person of interest, for good or ill, to those around you almost anywhere you go.

haunted one- you are haunted by something so terrible that you dare not speak of it. You’ve tried to bury it and flee from it, but to no avail. This things that haunts you can’t be beaten with a blade or banished with a spell. It might come to you as a shadow on the wall, a bloodcurdling nightmare, a memory that refuses to die, or a demonic whisper in the back of your mind. The burden is only now starting to take it’s toll, isolating you from others and making you question your sanity.

hermit- you lived in seclusion- either in a sheltered community like a monetary, or entirely alone- for a formative part of your life. In your time apart from the clamor of society, you found quiet, isolation, and perhaps some of the answers you’ve been searching for.

jester-You were employed as a jester by a noble. You preformed acrobatic stunts, told jokes and stories, and provided entertainment for your employer and his guests. However, you also served a key role, lacing your entertainment with criticisms and observations too controversial for others to say aloud. You enjoy the rare privilege of speaking your mind with little or no repercussions.  As a jester, it id your duty to use comedy as a way to point out the absurdities of the world. You can criticize through a lens of humor without offense. In addition, you gain access to other nobels in order to preform.

monk- you were raised in a monastery, far from the reaches of your peers. You’ve been devoted to a combat style and way of life ever since you were born. The discipline you’ve received from your time in the monetary will stick with you forever. The force in which you use to cut down your foes is called Ki, and you’ve learnt just how to use it.

noble- you understand wealth, power, and privilege. You carry a noble title, and your family owns land, collects taxes, and wields significant political influence.You might be a pampered aristocrat unfamiliar with work or discomfort, a former merchant just elevated to the nobility, or a disinherited scoundrel with a disproportionate sense of entitlement. or, you could be an honest, hard-working landowner who cares deeply about the people who live and work on your land, keenly aware of your responsibility to them.(talk with you DM about the connections and deeds of your family)

outlander- You grew up in the wilds, far from civilization and the comforts of modern technology. You’ve witness the migrations of herds larger than forests, survived weather more extreme than any city-dweller could comprehend, and enjoy the solitude of being the only thinking creature for miles in any direction.  You’ve been to strange places and seen strange things that other could not even fathom. Consider some of the distant lands you’ve visited and how they’ve impacted you.

 paladin- the presence of strong evil registers on your own senses like a noxious odor, and powerful good rings like heavenly music in your ears. As an action, you can open your awareness to such forces and detect them. You know the locations of any celestial, undead, or fiend within a 20 mile radius. Angels adore you, demons fear you, and your team all look to you for protection and valor in times of need.

priest- you have pledged your life to serve a god, pantheon of gods, or philosophy. You serve as the intermediary between your chosen power and the mortal world, conducting sacred rites, offering sacrifices, and expounding the teachings of your faith to those you’ve met. Your knowledge and experience are drawn from the time spent as a priest.

When you are in a temple, or holy place, you can expect to receive free healing, acre, and religious services for yourself and your party, assuming your friends are aligned with your faith.

ranger- you have significant experience in hunting, tracking and trapping. The outdoors are your home, and you are particularly familiar with one type of natural environment, and are adept at traveling and surviving in those regions.

rogue- during your training, you learned the stealthy, silent way of the knife. You’re quick on your feet, and lighter still. Nobody will ever hear or see you coming. You know how to strike subtly and exploit a foe’s distraction. Being the quiet type, you can hear, and are aware of other creatures locations within 10 feet of yourself. Oh yeah, did I mention the knives?

sage- you’ve spent years reading up on the lore of the multiverse. You soured manuscripts,studied scrolls, and listed to the greatest experts on the subjects that interest you. Your efforts have made you a master i your field of study (discuss your skill with your DM).

sailor- you’ve sailed on a seagiong vessel for years. In that time, you’ve faced nightly storms, monsters of the deep, and those who wanted to sink your ship to the bottom of the drink. Your first love is that distant line of the horizon, but the time has come for you to try your hand at something new.(discuss the nature of your ship with your DM)

Was it a merchant ship? A naval vessel? A pirate ship?

soldier- war and battle have been your life for as long as you care to remember. You trained as a youth, studied the use of weapons and armor, learned basic survival techniques,including how to stay alive on the battle field. You might have been part of a standing national army, or a mercenary company who rose to prominence during a recent war. (Work wit your DM to see what military branch you may have worked with.)

sorcerer- An event in a past life, or in the life of a parent or ancestor, left an incredible mark on you, infusing your blood with magic, be it angel or demon. The font of this magic fuels your spells. Charisma and intelligence are your spellcasting ability check. Be warned, however. Sorcery comes directly from you. You only have so much power to give, and that power can be taken away. It’s not a pretty process. It can kill you.

spy- At some point or another, you secretly gained information on a group of people or maybe one person. You were hired by a rival or political enemy, maybe searching for information that could hurt the other party. Maybe you were trying to fulfill your own agenda, but regardless, you’re good at finding things out and hiding your true self. You’re a master manipulator; years of stealth and trickery taught you how to not draw attention to yourself. The way you walk, talk, and move are deliberately forgettable, and utterly extraordinary. You dress in a  way that is easy to forget, no one will easily recall your characteristics or features unless they make an effort to do so.

In addition, you can read and write in a code than no one else is able to understand. Only someone trained in deciphering it.

thug- Years of living in the streets have given you an aura of menace. Your look conveys a basic message to your foes: you’ll as soon break their jaws as receive an apology.Threats and bullying tactics come easily to you. Your demeanor has landed you jobs with less-than-reputable organizations in the past, where you’ve provided the protection and muscle.

urchin- You grew up on the streets alone, orphaned, and poor. You had no body to watch over and protect you, so you learned to do all those things for yourself. You’ve fought fiercely over food and kept a constant watch out for other desperate souls looking to steal from you. You’ve slept on rooftops, in alleyways, exposed to the elements, and endured sickness without the advantage of medicine or a place to recuperate.

You’ve survived despite all odds, and did so through cunning, strength, speed, or some unholy combination of each. You know the secret patterns and flow to cities and you can find passages through the urban sprawl that others may miss. When not in combat, you can travel fast between any and all locations.You as a lot of questions. You hide food and other tools and trinkets in your pockets.You’re driven by your commitment to your squad, and the will to stay alive and fight.

warlock- As a warlock, you’ve made a bargain with an otherworldly being of your choice. For some, it’s as simple as giving a few years of devotion and faith, but for other, a greater sacrifice is required… The more you level up, the more you start to take after your deity; if you’re associated with angels, your hair will turn white, eyes will turn gold, and perhaps you might grow wings. If you’re associated with demons, however… Well, let’s just hope you decide to serve the light…

wizard- as a wizard, you practice and train for years and years to master the arcane arts, as well as arcane recovery. As a student of the mystics, whether they be angel or demon, you have a spellbook containing spells that show the first glimmerings of your true power. The more you level up, the better those spells become.

Imagine Vulgrim trying to sell you something. He holds up amulets and potions, trying to spark your interest, “Can I interest you in this, little human?” You roll your eyes light-heartedly and chuckle, continuing to listen to his little pitch. Eventually you lean in, “I mean, all that sounds nice but…,” you shuffle awkwardly closer to him, “Are you up for sale?”

“Of cour— … Pardon?”

Originally posted by never-enough-darksiders

Ridiculously I will rip an MC
To degrees I leave spots like chicken pox, check the synopsis
I grow confusing just like Rubik’s cube boxes
Float like the butter, fly so what if I
Blow your lenses, tear the fuckin hinges
Did I mention that my lyrical format gets more “ahs” than a dentist
When I’m in this, the knotty-headed era cause terror
Y'all gimmick motherfuckers better get y'all shit together
One for the money and two for my peeps
Nynex can’t even reach my technique or rap sheets
For the Squad I lick two shots, word to God
Then take y'all dreams and imaginations to the darkside

3

In which you help War come back to himself after a fight with some demons.

You know what’s great? Consistency. 

You know what my art lacks???? 

Also, apparently SOME of you are nutters who actually want to hug a giant, angry, monster thing. So here’s something to sink your weird little teeth into until I get the next part drawn. <3 xxx