imagination

Black Sheep Part 13

It had been two weeks since David’s death, life was slowly getting back to normal. I was returning to work today, glancing down at Happy’s sleeping body I smiled.

Leaning down I kissed his cheek, his arm snaked around my waist pulling me down on the bed. Smiling with his eyes still closed, he held me close.

“Hap, I’ve got to go to work.” He growled at me, letting me go.

“I’m taking you!” He rolled out of bed, his bare ass showing. I sit up slapped it, he pushed me back down on the bed, kissing me. “Keep it up and your going to be late Dr. Hale.”

I let out a laugh as he rolled off off me, he went into the bathroom. Getting off the bed, I straightened my clothes. The bathroom door opened, I watched Happy come out.

His arms wrapped around my waist, he kissed the side of my neck. “Let’s go.”

XXX

“Motorcycle vs automobile, ambulance will be here in two.” My heart stopped beating, I was holding my breath as the ambulance pulled in.

Going to the back doors, I watched as the paramedics pulled the gurney out. I listened to their report, every thing stood still.

Then I saw his face, it wasn’t Happy, it wasn’t anyone from the MC. Getting my focus back, I needed to save this man’s life.

XXX

Sitting at my desk, it was near the end of my shift. I was finishing up charting. I just wanted to end the day, and curl up with Happy.

A nurse I hadn’t seen before gave me a message, telling me Happy had stopped by while I was in with a patient.

I unfolded a note, looking at the writing.

Meet me at Charming Bridge, I thought we could go on a picnic tonight. Dropped a car off for you. Had some club business to deal with see you there. Happy.

I smiled thinking about the river that ran under the bridge. I finished with my charting, gave report to the on coming doctor then hurried out the door.

XXX

“Happy, a nurse from the hospital dropped this off for you!” Jax handed him an envelope. He opened it, scanning over it quickly.

I can’t live with the guilt anymore. David dying was my fault. I should never have come back to Charming. Goodbye Happy.

He flew to his bike, taking off towards the hospital. Going inside, he went to the ER. “(Y/N), where is she?”

The nurse looked at him. “She was meeting her boyfriend at Charming Bridge.” Happy ran for his bike, hoping he wasn’t too late.

He called Jax. “I need you guys to help me, meet me at Charming Bridge.”

XXX

Jacob stayed hidden, waiting for his sister to show up. He’d finally be rid of her, in just a short time.

10 Steps On How to Become a Physical Psychoanalyst Agent

1. Research the superficial extension of spot check therapy and what is expected from a licensed physical therapist assistant. The American Physical X ray Association website, apta.org, is very helpful gangway this regard and answers clearly on how to become a physical therapist employee, queries related to physical psychotherapy schools, fussy information about this vert, and other matrilineal upward motion options.

2. Before yourself make your choice, evaluate and prevail clear about the differences between a PT, an assistant, and physical therapist aid. What are the duties and responsibilities and what skills and drill is required.

3. The PTA carries blowhole treatment plans under the supervision of actual healer and and reports the patient’s progress. Wealthy interested partes ask the joker “how to become a native therapist assistant”; I imagine, it’s not just far and wide the skills, its more relative to the passion and plain drive to deputy others and crafting a difference in their lives.

4. For your optimistic direct certificate, take science as dam as indistinct education credits, such as English, Math and psychology.

5. In some stated you are also required to fall out voluntary visits to any Physical therapy clinics. This will give himself hands on common sense, great compromise and pass on help you build contact let alone the under the surface employers.

6. To get into this field, an associate’s degree in related musical program from an accredited schools or subcaste college is hard-and-fast. It’s a 2 year program regardless of cost emphasis far out teacherish courses insofar as well as laboratory and clinical contact.

7. Research the available accredited schools tentative approach an conjoint program. You’ll be informed a complete list on websites of both on-campus schools as well being online accredited schools offering PTA programs.

8. Study the program gimcrackery and find out the requirements and apply for it. The above mentioned programs make incumbent the student to at humblest visit 1 to 2 physical therapy sites which should abide inpatient and rheumatic. These visits are discussed respect the interview with the program head at the time pertaining to admission as well.

9. Once alter ego acquire the degree, you are imperative as far as apply for the state exam in guild to be license to covin in any medical facility mutual regard this capacity.

10. You may plus be indicated toward have stationary education credits for license retreading, depending regarding the state you’re goodwill.

How to beseem a physical therapist assistant ; is not a walk in the park. My humble self requires sheer dedication, well-made work and the curiosity and will to forestall others. It’s a difficult as well inasmuch as cheeky job since the well considering of others is in your hands.

So I started watching critical role and I love it
But ok they told a story in the first episode long story short Vex shot off a troll’s dick and it’s now in the bag of holding
And in episode 2 Grog reached into the bag of holding and took out a turkey leg and threw it as someone as a gift
But just like, imagine if he was GOING for the turkey leg
But accidentally grabbed the troll dick
And threw it at someone’s face
And it’s like spinning and everyone realizes while its in the air “oh god that’s not a turkey leg”

The Shield Imagine Masterlist Vol. 2

Volume 1 can be found HERE

Midnight Swim (Part 1)

Midnight Swim (Part 2) (NSFW)

Blade and the Wyatt Family

Quitting the Shield (Part 1)

Quitting the Shield (Part 2)

Brock Lesnar (Part 1)

Brock Lesnar (Part 2)

Brock Lesnar (Part 3)

Flirting

Pregnancy News

Saved by the Shield

Breakup of the Shield (Part 1)

Breakup of the Shield (Part 2)

Breakup of the Shield (Part 3)

Shield Wake up

Grocery Shopping with the Shield (Part 2)


Seth Rollins

High School Sweethearts



Roman Reigns

Roman’s Girl

So its pride today and i've been reading TCC

So just imagine Draco working out that Scorpius and Albus liked each other and he started trying to help the along. Like he’d organise massive events and invite all of Albus’ family over so he and Scorpius could spend more time together, but he’d always sit the two of them together just within earshot so he could keep watch. And you know he always sat Rose as far away from Scorpius as possible.

Just a thought ~ Slytherin

snugglejensen  asked:

HEY SO, WHAT DID YOU DO THIS SUMMER AND DID YOU FIND ANY GOOD NEW FANFICS THAT YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH

HEY HON LOG TIME NOT SEEN I MISSED U

ANYWAYS

I had a super chill holiday because I was at my grandparent’s house in France. I went to this amazing castle which is like the coolest thing I’ve ever seen I swear.

(imagine your OTP visiting)

I also had much fun with my uncle and aunt and celebrated my lil cousin’s first birthday n.n he’s the happiest baby and such a flirt omg.

ALSO YES i actually did read a WONDERFUL FANFIC I’M SCREAMING ITS Après this is A+, right how I want my fanfics to be. My holiday was awesome and I’m sad it’s over ^^ Hope your holiday was nice too and tell me if you read the fic (; 

talk to me!

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Currently, most people are using just 3% of their physical DNA and nothing of their energetic DNA. Just imagine what you would be able to accomplish if you began using100% of both your PHYSICAL and ETHERIC DNA ~ bit.ly/activatedna

#dna #dna200 #dnagenetics #dnatest #dnarsskincareofficial #dňa #dnarsmurah #dnaquotes #dnaquotesindonesia #dnanatural #dnanatural #dnangel #dnaactivation #spirituality #spiritualawakening #spiritual #humanity #humanhistory #energy #energyhealing #webinar #freewebinar #divine #divinelove #divinity #weareone #wearedivine #starseed #starseedwisdom #starseeds #starseedsunite #indigo #indigochild #indigochildren #indigosunite #earthship #earthseed

Made with Instagram

It’s ironic how you came back and told me na we both needed a break/space. I agreed right away, but you didnt even budge, you didn’t even reply for a week when I called it off. Then you’ll talk to me again like nothing happened? I really love you, no question on that. I did things I can’t imagine doing for you, I stood up for you even if it was late. I’m supposed to be dead now for choosing you. I’ve got long patience. But it’s a different story when I’m being taken for granted.

If you ask for water here they throw you weird looks. Here’s to finding my alcohol tolerance and getting stared down for my slitty eyes and yellow skin 😳 P.S The train system here is nuts… Imagine having 4 NE-lines, 5 NS-lines, 8 circle lines and a Orchard Central, North, South and East… and all this happening in German. It’s exciting. #deutschlum #deutschland #douche? #jacqiethoughtofthis #idkanythingbetter #germsmanylumps (at Sankt Goarshausen - Loreley)

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anonymous asked:

Hi, could I get an imagine where you are with Oli Sykes and things are going really well and then you have to tell him that you are having his child and you think he's going to be mad but he ends up being really happy and excited but then he starts getting overprotective because he doesn't want you to be hurt. Thanks, love your blog btw.

It’s up now, dear. Sorry it took such a long time.

Smol update!

My holiday is going well. I am hungover and dying right now but that is A-OK, buddies! Got a Mr Mime on pokemon as well wooo, my super non-nerdy sister plays Pokemon Go and she drove me around at 20MPH so we could go poke-hunting lmfao…

On the list of fics to do I have:

Magical Mahiru (it’ll be kuromahi)
A licht/mahi smut request fic
A  MikuTsuru kiss ask meme request
A Tetsu/Misono kiss ask meme request
2 more kuromahi kiss ask meme requests

I imagine whatever fic gets the most reblogs/notes i’ll turn into a full on Explicit fanfiction for AO3!

Sound good? 

Also… I have a mighty need for a bacon sandwich but im to dead to do it and i still wanna do a smutty kuromahi rp ohohohoho im so naughty… 

goes back to bed

Oh.  Oh, that’s huge.

There’s nothing more sacred to Garnet than fusion and what it means between two individuals.  Nothing.  Not even Rose Quartz herself is more important to her than this ideal.

And, at this point?  Peridot is not somebody she trusts, not somebody she wants to be intimate with.  I doubt she’d be comfortable fusing with Peridot, but…

Peridot is trying to understand.

She’s rude, and coarse, and somewhat dismissive, but Garnet knows how fusion is seen on Homeworld, how Peridot would have been taught, and the fact that Peridot is asking her what she’s about instead of continuing to judge her for existing means that she’s beginning to have an open mind.

There’s very little you won’t understand about fusion once you’ve experienced it.  I imagine Ruby and Sapphire thought about this long and hard, even before Peridot came to them with questions, and came to the conclusion that the best way for Peridot to understand was for Peridot to see.

And so they’re offering to open up the most intimate part of themselves, of herself.  She’s giving Peridot a chance, and that’s huge.

Okay so this becomes pointless family drama instead of “rape is okay to do if you’re forced you guys!!!1”. Look at these designs, if you remove the teeth, you realize Tulek is Orc Brett Taggetry, The Chief is Orc Lars Sturtz and black-haired guy is Orc Magic Yiffer. It’s like those fantasy sequences from cartoons where character imagines people they know as characters in the dream.

i cant recall the moment i realized i misplaced my courage
or when or where i last saw it
maybe i never possessed it in the first place
maybe i just didnt imagine to fear
until retracing my footsteps
through near misses and close calls that i hadnt even noticed
the first time around.

FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Whoa… 0_o

Bottom line– Don’t @#$%&! with Mabel’s heart.

While normally she’s all happiness and sunshine personified, I imagine at some point she gets a little fed up with her crushes always turning out to be something weird or paranormal (although she’s perfectly okay with a vampire, it would seem).  And poor Dib–  Usually he’s the one accusing some innocent person of being some sort of paranormal creature.  Not so fun when the shoe’s on the other foot, huh? 

BTW, Dib– It’s cuz you dress all in black that Mabel thinks you’re a vampire.   Why she thinks you’re a stack of gnomes?– well, that’s… complicated.

Spectra22.deviantart.com

Don't Be Mad [Archive]

Send a ♒ for what my muse will say to yours!
→ Rolled 32. Don’t be mad, I’m sorry.

____________________________________________

{– glissxndo –}

“Don’t be mad,” Allen said from the other side of the door, knocking for what seemed like the twelfth time in the last few minutes. He’d really done it now; he’d upset the redhead more than he ever imagined that he would. “I’m sorry.”

Gray eyes stared at the wooden surface of the door, unable to gauge anything about his best friend’s state of mind by the silence he offered. “I didn’t… I just…” He paused, afraid of making it worse. He shouldn’t have brought up the events of the Ark like that, in the midst of a heated argument when their emotions were getting the better of both of them—or so it had appeared to Allen, anyways.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, wondering if the apology would have any effect on the redhead on the other side of the door.

{– 49scribes –}

Truth be told, Lavi wasn’t sure which bugged him more at the moment: Allen or himself. Maybe, if he were being completely honest, it was more the latter. It shouldn’t have bothered him so much, Allen bringing up what happened on the Ark, but it did.Another knock and pleading from the other side made him feel inclined to reply, but he was stuck on how he should respond. He could snap and order Allen to leave him alone, but escalating things with a temper would just prove how much he was slipping as a Bookman-in-training. All the same, he couldn’t just not be upset either, .He knew he’d screwed up on the Ark, in more ways than one, but he’d been bound and determined to put that behind them once it was over, thinking maybe everything that followed it would have made the other forget about it, like sand in a desert covering an old ruin. Of course nothing was ever solved that simply.As it was, he bit his tongue and sat with his back to the door. What was there to say? Maybe if he ignored it all long enough, waited for Allen to tire of knocking and leave on his own, it would just be forgotten soon enough.Some insidious little voice in his head whispered that he was going against his Clan duties even caring at all about it, and another that he was a terrible friend for essentially giving the silent treatment and not just letting bygones be bygones, and he wasn’t quite sure which voice was louder or more accurate.

{– glissxndo –}

The silence was stifling and the way Lavi blatantly ignored his attempts to ask—plead, rather—for his forgiveness only emphasized how upset he was. “Lavi, please,” he whispered, voice verging this time on desperate.

Desperate to make up with his friend, to set things right, to convey properly what he’d meant.

More than anything, their fight on the Ark had scared him. So scared of losing Lavi, he’d honestly been prepared to be killed, to lose his life over the selfish desire to not harbor that guilt. Would Lavi have felt bad afterwards? Would his Bookman duties have kept him from it or would he have suffered the same way Allen would have?

“I am not your comrade.”

Those words echoed in his mind, haunting his sleep. Even in his every waking moment, it loomed over him like the silhouette that stood behind his reflection, only the fear that accompanied it dwarfed the mysterious Fourteenth.

“Please, Lavi, open the door. Or just… Would you just listen, at least?”

{– 49scribes –}

The redhead closed his eye, trying to take his thoughts away from what was happening now and just focus on making things quiet in his head and breathing slowly and deeply.It would have gone a little better if Allen’s voice wasn’t jarring him out of settling his mind and back into too many thoughts. It was starting to grow irritating, but- …no, no he couldn’t get irritated at it. Irritation is just another form of caring about something enough to let it bother him. He was already listening, and what he was hearing was no sign at all that Allen was stepping away or going to leave any time soon. He tried to think of how long it would take for Allen to give up trying, and remembered for a moment who he was dealing with.This was Allen. He wasn’t going to give up where friends were involved.

“I’m listening,” Lavi returned, voice hoarse but neutral and carefully guarded, not giving hint to the tumultuous thoughts and emotions swirling around. The thoughts were questionable enough, but the feelings should not have been there.At the very least, maybe he could placate enough that Allen would leave him to his thoughts, convinced he had made everything right with the world, and Lavi considered himself fairly good at putting on an act enough to achieve that much.

{– glissxndo –}

Lavi finally responded, but Allen’s relief was short-lived when he realized that he had no idea what to say and no way to fix the situation, no matter how much he wanted to. He did the only thing he knew how to. He spilled his heart to Lavi right then, right there, even though he couldn’t look his friend in the eye.

“I was scared,” he blurt out, unable to think of anything else. “B-back in the Ark, I mean. When you attacked me and I thought the only way out was to kill you, I… I was prepared to die.”

He paused, licking his dry lips to moisten them. “I suppose I’m selfish; I was too scared to hurt you, but I was okay with putting that on you. I mean, I know we’re not supposed to…”

Heaving a sigh, he turned to lean his back against the door, sliding down it until he sat on the ground. Lavi hadn’t wanted it brought up, yet Allen had been stupid enough to do just that. All in the vein hope that Lavi would give him a straight answer: Does he care or not?

“I know we’re not supposed to be friends, but I… Would it be easier if we weren’t?”

It took all of Allen’s willpower to keep his voice steady, to not let his emotions seep through overmuch. He didn’t want his already melancholy tone to crack with the threat of fresh tears. Whatever answer Lavi gave, Allen had to respect and he had no right to try and change his mind—intentionally or otherwise.

{– 49scribes –}

Would it be easier if we weren’t friends? Yes. Infinitely easier, but it wasn’t that simple. It would be easier if he didn’t care. In that way, he somewhat envied Kanda. That wasn’t to say he was delusional enough to think Kanda didn’t care at all, but the man was much better at not letting it complicate things by rarely showing it, for whatever his reasons were.Unfortunately for him though, ‘Lavi’ was not that simplistic, not so black-and-white. For him, joining the Order and getting to know people like Lenalee and Allen had done little except for create a tangled mess. The fight on the Ark had been the turning point, helped him realize how big of a mess he had gotten himself into with keeping ‘comrades’ around, and how many knots - how many attachments - he was going to have to undo little by little.Part of him didn’t want to say it, loathed even the idea of saying it, but what else was he supposed to do? He wasn’t an exorcist. Not really. He was a bookman before he was anything else. No matter what, that was the only constant. Even ‘Lavi’ was temporary.

“I think… you already know the answer to that…” Lavi finally replied, this being the simplest comeback he could think to compose. “…its nothing personal, y'know? There are just… complications I can't simply ignore.”

{– glissxndo –}

The silence that followed Allen’s question didn’t surprise him, but neither did it dispel the fear of losing his friend to what he had already been expecting. He understood that Lavi would leave, that he’d walk away and likely pretend none of this ever happened in favor of carrying out his duty as a Bookman’s successor, but it hurt.

The impression given to him on the Ark had hurt. It still did. Some time had passed—Days? A week now?—and the memory continued to haunt his sleep, invading his already present nightmares with what could have happened. Lavi’s death or, more likely, his own death.

When Lavi finally chose to speak, it didn’t help. His chest tightened and his bit down on his lip to fight back the tearful gasp that threatened to spill from them. Lavi, the person who’d been a stranger one minute and his best friend the next, had said what he didn’t want to hear.

“I-I know,” Allen said, cursing inwardly when he stuttered, words short and rushed, as if he feared his voice might crack from the tears he blinked away.

He doesn’t have any other options, Allen reminded himself, but that didn’t help. It only made it worse when Allen realized that they—he—was holding him back from it.

It doesn’t hurt, Allen tried to convince himself as her forced on his usual smile. Lavi couldn’t see it though, but it was there: The definition of a boy who’d lost the will to give a genuine smile a long time ago.

“I’ll leave you alone, if you’d rather,” Allen said, the words suddenly picking up. Too happy, too fake. Too much pointing to something clearly being wrong. It wasn’t fair to cry and make Lavi feel bad over the choice he’d made long before they met.

It’s his life.

{– 49scribes –}

Lavi opened his mouth to say it was probably better if Allen left, but the words wouldn’t come. He already felt like an idiot for letting things get this far and complicate his assignment as an heir to Bookman. He felt even dumber staring at the far wall, mouth silently agape, willing even the raw sounds of the words to form.Say it.Could he even do that? He had to, but could he? The voice was muffled through the door - Allen’s voice - but the tone was clear, and it was a painful sound. Say it.The distraught stuttering at first was one thing, but when he started in with that crisp, cheery tone, trying to ignore everything that was wrong with how things had ended up… that was what really struck him the worst, and he bit his lip.You have to say it.What did he want out of this? Then again, what he wanted was irrelevant, unless it was wanting to succeed Bookman. That was all that should matter, and yet, it wasn’t the only weight on his mind or chest, and that was no minor problem he could simply ignore. So what was he supposed to do, respecting both his role as a bookman, and as a temporary comrade making record of this war?A soft crunch and taste of stinging copper brought him back to reality, out of the spiral of his own thoughts. Really, there was only one answer he could give, wincing at the unsure, tumultuous quaver of his own voice, drawing his legs up where he could tuck his head into hiding, hating his own insecurities that he rarely addressed directly.

“…I-I… don’t know what would fix this…”

{– glissxndo –}

A long silence spread between them, weighed down on them as Allen waited for Lavi to say what he already thought he would. To say it hurt would be a gross understatement. The ache in his chest was so severe that Allen had no idea what else to say, what might possibly change Lavi’s mind or if that was even possible at this point.

This man who was less of a comrade and more of a brother was about to tear whatever relationship they’d had into pieces and Allen didn’t have the means to stop him. Did he even have the will to stop him, to force him to do what he clearly didn’t want to?

Shouldn’t you be used to this?

That one thought haunted him; it allowed him to accept what he otherwise couldn’t. It let him accept what Lavi would undoubtedly say in the next minute. In this moment, Lavi would make it clear that he was no more a thought in his mind than the tile beneath their feet and Allen could move on. He’d force himself to move on, to smile through the pain until this war stole his last breath. 

You’re not worth it, he reminded himself, though he didn’t know what about the Order and its people had allowed him to forget, even for a little while.

“What’s there to fix?” Allen asked quietly, forcing his voice to sound as cheerful as possible/ Anything less and he feared the sounds of his heart breaking might become audible. “It has to be this way, doesn’t it?”

{– 49scribes –}

Lavi grit his teeth at the question. He knew the answer. They both did. It didn’t make it any easier. He was a bookman-in-training. None of this should matter. It shouldn’t be difficult. He should be able to say it with no problem.But the words caught in his throat, threatening to suffocate him the more he tried to force them out, his lips trembling with the inherent need to finalize it and speak what would be the end of whatever bond was between them. The sounds refused to form.

“…it has to be this way…” he confirmed finally, barely even a muffled response from behind the door. “…but…”But what? But it wasn’t what he wanted? But his convictions towards his clan duties were not as strong as they once were? But he had actually come to care about what happened to the people around him?But you’re going against everything you were ever raised for.He knew that. He knew it all too strongly. He wasn’t supposed to care, wasn’t supposed to feel, wasn’t supposed to have a heart to extend towards anyone. He was only human, he knew that, and he was subject to all of the same weaknesses and needs as any other, but it went against the role he was supposed to fill. The one that he used to be so good at fulfilling, keeping the world at a distance and watching it all unfold like some far-off fiction.He’d thought he was impervious to those sorts of necessities, of intimacy and companionship, up until joining the Order, and now he feared he was in too deep to ever crawl back out. He failed as a bookman and he failed as a comrade. Either one he chose, he still lost something important.“Its not as if I can just pretend none of this ever happened or that there’s nothing between us… not for now at least… while I’m still here.” When he left the Order though, which he and Bookman inevitably would at some point, he would have no choice but to put them behind him as if they had never crossed paths.

{– glissxndo –}

Lavi repeated what he said, yet the single word he added after gave Allen the smallest glimmer of hope that their friendship could be salvaged—at least for the moment. Waiting for him to continue was almost maddening. But what? Allen wanted to ask, but the words were no more easier to say than they were to think. He opened he mouth to ask, but those two words refused to form.

It shouldn’t be this hard…!

And Lavi finally spoke. The words he had for him brought him as much relief as it did pain. For now, he said, those two words stabbing deeper into Allen’s heart than he thought they would. At this point, that was he answer he had hopelessly longed for, yet it did little to prepare him for them.

“But… in the meantime…” Allen said, pausing to bite his lip for fear that he would ask and the question would be thrown back in his face like this was all some sick joke. It appalled him to think that Lavi would do that, but… But would Bookman’s successor do that?

In spite of that fear, he managed to speak the words, to ask his question. “In the meantime, we can be friends?”

Please say yes, Allen wanted to beg, if only because he didn’t think he could let go on such short notice, that Lavi deserting him now would be like pulling the Earth from beneath his feet. Because this… this was his best friend, even if Lavi didn’t see him the same way. Please don’t leave me yet…!

{– 49scribes –}

Lavi sighed through his nose and leaned back against the door, resting his head back against its cool surface and simply staring up at the ceiling for a while. It shouldn’t have been this difficult to just say yes or no. The very word friends made part of him yearn and another part cringe.Bookmen don’t have friends.But people do. He knows himself from his studies and observations just how big of a necessity things like that are, and how badly it can affect someone to go without. Perhaps he knew a little too well. Maybe he should have spent more time questioning it when he was younger, how possible it could really be to be entirely detached.He should have stayed more like Deak, and the other 47 before that. When he really thought deeper about it, maybe all of those past selves had failed as Bookmen as well. He hadn’t had attachments like he did now, but he had been so… hateful. That couldn’t really be called being unbiased either, could it?But to go the opposite way of betraying his training… to call someone his friend…

“As long as Gramps decides we’re staying, we’re still on the same side of this war,” he settled on, even that much - claiming to be of one side or another - making him uneasy. “That’s the best I can offer. I’m sorry.”

 

{– glissxndo –}

It was hard to wait for Lavi to answer every time. Every second that passed felt more like an eternity and with each one, the silence weighed heavier upon his shoulders. No matter what he said, Allen feared that it’d prove impossible to forget the truth behind it.

Lavi would eventually disappear from his life—from all their lives. That day could come tomorrow or go unseen for a year, but Allen wondered if that would be better or worse. Knowing that he’d wake up one day and Lavi would be gone, both from his the tower and possibly existence, made his chest ache. If that happened… If Allen went after him…

The image of Lavi turning, pretending not to know him struck a chord in him that had tears welling up at the edges of his eyes. The door, he realized now, was a blessing in disguise. It kept Lavi from seeing this pathetic display of his.

But Lavi did answer. At this point, that was more than he could’ve possibly hoped for.

“… Thank you, Lavi,” he whispered, having nothing else to say. He had no reason to apologize. This was something planned from the very beginning, Allen was sure, not something recently decided. They were the change in plans. He was the one meddling in affairs that had nothing to do with him because he was too selfish to leave it alone.

{– 49scribes –}

“Yea…” Lavi answered, quietly but almost immediately. Maybe the thanks he received for his answer was sincere, but he was sure they were also painful and hard to say even so.He knew that his own were.He considered asking that Allen not be upset over it - that it wasn’t anything personal; that this was something long ago predetermined for him; that he held no such ill will and he hadn’t wanted something like this to hurt anyone - but he knew he couldn’t make a request like that. Especially not to Allen, who would more than likely pretend it didn’t hurt and bottle it up instead. He didn’t want that for someone who he would consider his friend under any other circumstances.He tried to think of what he should say, wincing as he bit into his lip again where he split it earlier. What even was there to say that could make something like this better, and still act as he should as Bookman’s successor?

“…well… I guess in some ways its a good thing then, you bein’ who you are. An Exorcist prophesized as the ’Destroyer of Time’ that’s indirectly connected with the Noah… and who can go toe-to-toe with the Earl? Someone like that is bound to create important history that’ll be crucial to our records. Given the choice, I don’t think Bookman would want to be too far away.”

{– glissxndo –}

Allen’s words were followed shortly by a single word from Lavi. Yeah… It was barely a whisper, but Allen could hear it even with the door between them. That door put distance between them, both theirs bodies and their hearts. Lavi kept it shut tight for a reason. But understanding why did little to squelch the want for things to remain as they were for… well… forever. 

Lavi Bookman Jr. was not his comrade in arms. He knew that. Lavi had said as much in the Ark and Allen knew it to be true, even if he hadn’t quite been in his right mind. Allen could accept that tomorrow, he might not be an Exorcist any longer.

What was harder to accept was that when he stopped being an Exorcist, he would walk away from this. And no matter what he couldn’t be, he’d secured a permanent place in Allen’s heart. His best friend, a brother of sorts, though he hesitated to call him such. 

I won’t cry, he told himself as he pulled his knees up, buried his face in them.

Allen lifted his head only slightly when Lavi started to speak again. The Destroyer of Time. He wanted to say he hated that prophecy, that people felt he would do something grand and were all but riding on the idea of him doing so. But in that moment, he felt a sort of relief for it. Lavi would remain until he was irrelevant, then? 

A small sort of laugh slipped from Allen’s lips. It was a sad sound, not like his usual laughter, not soft and bright like the chiming of a small bell. 

Bookman?” Allen asked incredulously. Had Allen ever heard him refer to his own master as such? It lacked the blatant disrespect that it usually contained. “Not ‘old man’ or ‘gramps’?”

{– 49scribes –}

Lavi paused at that. Not ‘old man’ or ‘gramps’? He hadn’t even noticed that he might have said anything strange. It was true that he rarely called his mentor by his title, but it did happen from time to time.

Why now, though? When calling him nicknames was so common, almost automatic with him. Lavi palmed his face wearily. He must have really been out of sorts. …well… he knew already that he was out of sorts. The worst part though was that Allen noticed. The last thing he needed was seeming so off to other people.Pondering it a moment longer, a thought struck him that made what he said perhaps not so strange after all. It was a depressing thought - as if he already didn’t have enough of those - but it was a possibility he had to consider.“Well one day it won’t just be him that’s just called ‘Bookman’… the geezer won’t live forever, and this is war. All sorts of things could happen… but so long as even one member of our clan survives, a bookman will still be here to record it, whoever they are, and I don’t plan on dying any time soon.“

{– glissxndo –}

There was a silence on the other side of the door that made Allen wonder if he had said something horribly wrong. Should he not have pointed it out? Allen wanted to say that he’d heard Lavi refer to his master by title before, but the harder he thought about it, the less he could remember it.
But then Lavi spoke and Allen felt relief wash over him. For a brief moment, he’d thought Lavi was upset with him for pointing out such a small thing. But the explanation he gave…He hated to hear that Bookman would die, even knowing is was inevitable. Whether it was the war or something else, Lavi’s master couldn’t live forever. No one could. And it scared him a bit to hear Lavi talk like there was a possibility that he would die, too.
I don’t want to think of that, was Allen’s only thought. The very thought of Lavi dying made his heart clench painfully. Even with Lavi’s clarification that he had no plans on doing so, it did little to help Allen. Some people planned their deaths. Once upon a time, Allen had been one of those people. But he’d crawled out of that dark hole he’d fallen into.
Others didn’t so much plan for it. It was taken from them in an instant, sometimes without the least bit warning. That’s what Lavi “wasn’t planning on”.

“I hope not,” Allen said, a hint of sadness in his voice, picking his head up to lean against the door. If he wasn’t careful, he might fall asleep here and he was sure Lavi wouldn’t enjoy that obstacle come morning.

{– 49scribes –}

Maybe that wasn’t exactly the best choice of explanation he’d ever come up with. The tone Allen spoke in reply said it all. He gripped red locks between fingers on both hands and messed his hair in frustration.

What was wrong with his head today?

Sure, it was a true enough statement. Bookman was an old man, practically already a fossil when Lavi had first started training under him, but to say something so indiscreetly blunt to Allen of all people? Was he crazy?

Making an impulsive decision, he hopped to his feet in almost a single, fluid motion and wrenched the door open, not even caring that it probably made Allen fall backwards against his legs.

“Know what we need? Lots of food and some good drinks! That’s what we need.” Maybe it was a poor attempt at a change in subject, but the more he kept trying to talk his problems away, the more depressing of a direction his thoughts went in. Besides, Allen wouldn’t pass up food, right? "All this talkin’ is making me hungry!“

{– glissxndo –}

One second, Allen had been talking to Lavi through a door, voice dipping low. The whole situation was slowly weighing on Allen and his mask was becoming harder to uphold—things were slipping through and his tone was the first show of this.

But the next second, the whole world seemed to shift. The door he’d been leaning against disappeared without a trace and he fell back. It was impossible to hold back his gasp, but Lavi’s long legs weren’t far behind him. And Lavi immediately started talking about… food?

Gray eyes blinked up him incredulously, as if he’d grown a second head, as if to ask why he’d bring up food now of all times. He wanted to say the mention of food whisked away all other thoughts, that the only thing that filled his mind was dish after dish after dish, ranging from appetizers to desserts.

But it didn’t.

I see what you’re doing, Lavi.

Allen wanted to say it. He wanted to call Lavi out, yet what came out was something completely. It contradicted all of his feelings and he hoped that the grin that spread quickly and easily across his face would reinforce his fabricated emotions as he sprung to his feet. “It’s lunchtime already!”

{– 49scribes –}

Lavi wasted no time in chummily throwing an arm over Allen’s shoulder. Whether or not Allen actually fell for it didn’t matter, so long as they could and were willing to both pretend as if nothing was wrong until it wasn’t.

At least that was how he was figuring to solve it. Just pretend and lie nothing was wrong until it turned into the truth, or something like that. That would work, right?

“You bet it is!” Was that laugh a little too fake sounding? Well… whatever. He’d just make the next one sound better.

Besides, it wasn’t like he couldn’t see the residual hints of the earlier sorrow in Allen’s grin, the slight, fixed strain in steel eyes of guarded emotion. It took one to know one, as the saying went. Any accusations against him would definitely fall under the category of double standard and he could easily turn that around to skirt the issue at hand if he really needed to.

Pointedly holding up a pointer finger, he declared, “I bet'cha that if I really put my mind to it, I could even out-eat you!”

The expression he could see work its way across Allen’s face at that idea was unmistakable doubt, and he put on his best pout as if he were hurt and insulted, thumbing at himself as if that would further prove his point.

“Hey, it could happen! I’m still a growing boy after all. Though…” he trailed off, quirking his brow upwards in appraisal as he looked Allen up and down. “…not nearly needin’ the inches as much as you do.”

Was that derailment he was resorting to now? You bet it was.

{– glissxndo –}

Lavi swung his arm around his shoulder and he had to admit that he preferred the invasion of his personal space to the way things had been not five minutes before. Allen wasn’t so stupid to think things were actually fixed that quickly and he wasn’t sure if Lavi thought he was or was simply counting on him to play along.

What was worse? That Allen was going to pretend that everything was okay, or that he really wished he was the kind of idiot that could believe it?

Allen only wished it wasn’t lunchtime. In times like these, when his emotions turned into a black haze of negativity, his desire to eat dropped significantly. Even the challenge didn’t set the fire in him that it should have, but he didn’t dare let Lavi see that.

Or at least… he tried not.

“Oh, really now?”

A smirk spread across his face, though he felt nowhere near as confident as he tried to make himself appear. He was sure Lavi saw it, that he would see his acting at its lowest point. They were too similar for him not to see it. On a normal day, he doubted it. With a challenge like this issued, he still doubted it, if only because he’d force himself to out-eat Lavi in an attempt to convince everyone else that everything was fine between them.

Because there was no way that he could convince himself of it. But the mention of his heightMein gott

“Excuse me?! I am average height!”

{– 49scribes –}

“Are not average height, Shorty McShortstack, and try as you might, physics and mass are still a thing! I’m bigger than you which means that by default I should be able to put down more food! It’s such basic science, I’m sure even Timcanpy understands it!”

Of course the fact that Allen has been shoving down enough food to feed a small army for every meal on his own for the last year and even Timcanpy can devour like twelve times its own weight… doesn’t lend much merit to his declarations.

But the name of the game now is distraction.

He doesn’t want to think of things that are too negative. He’ll never get out of those thoughts if he goes too deep, and putting up some distance will make things easier in the end. He has to do it for the sake of everything as Bookman’s heir.

“Y'think you got what it takes to beat me, Allen Beansprout Walker? You got another thing coming!”

 

{– glissxndo –}

Why does it have to be so obvious what Lavi is doing? As if Allen can’t see it when Lavi’s making claims that would be true only in a case not his own or only when Allen felt as bad as he did today, like the whole world had been pulled from beneath his feet. It’s like this war just got that much harder and the only person Allen doesn’t lie to about that in this moment is himself. 

He feels that much closer to losing this battle

Lavi had already made it clear. Friendship was an unnecessary thing that existed between them, that needed to be thrown away and Allen’s heart clenched painfully at that revelation. Allen would become irrelevant and Lavi would disappear as quickly as he’d come into his life—and Allen was powerless to stop that. So he had only a single choice. Pretend you’re okay until it becomes true. 

But he’d been doing that for a long time now, hadn’t he? Was it ever going to be okay?

“Don’t patri—patry— damn it. Don’t be a jerk!” he says, tripping over words he rarely used, saying something else instead of butchering words meant for people smarter than himself. But the meaning of the sentence changes, becomes something else entirely. Don’t be a jerk. But that’s him, isn’t it? He started this whole mess. 

“I’ll win and we both know it!”

Lavi issues the challenge, but Allen meets it with false fervor, choking down emotions meant for another time, forcing a smile so fake he does’t know if anyone would believe it was real. He tries to be thankful for what time he has left with one of his first real friends, but the effort falls flat as soon as the memory of the Ark resurfaces. He and Lavi aren’t friends, after all.

{– 49scribes –}

“The word you’re looking for is ‘patronize’, my dear bean!” Lavi corrects in almost a sing-song voice, choosing not to even acknowledge Allen calling him a jerk. He knows that already, and its yet another thing he tries not to thing too hard about.

Part of him silently acknowledges that he doesn’t have much choice in this matter. He’s an heir to Bookman, and bookmen don’t worry about how others feel about them, nor put much feeling towards things themselves.

Bookmen don’t need a heart. They don’t need friends.

He tries increasingly hard to ignore the whisper in the back of his mind that tentatively reminds ’but people do’.

“That so? Exactly what do you want to bet on it? Because I’m feelin’ pretty confident in my hunger today!”

{– glissxndo –}

Just a few words and Lavi has his face scrunching up. 

“Yeah, that! Stop doing that!” Allen says, almost offended that Lavi had corrected him, especially considering it would take Allen another four or five tries to master the word. But the competition Lavi’s offering is going a long way to distracting him from the conflict at hand, the fight they were having mere moments ago. 

And to make matters worse, Lavi starts talking about betshe knows how to get under his skin. “We’ll bet whatever you want! It doesn’t matter because I’m going to win, anyways!”

{– 49scribes –}

Whatever I want…?” Lavi parrots suggestively, placing a hand to his chin in thought. “That’s a mighty tall offer there, sprout. Careful what you say. Maybe I’ll surprise you and win after all!”

Really though, what could he possibly want as his reward if he somehow - by some miracle - manages to win?

Tough question. So many possibilities.

Hm…

“Okay… if I wiiin…” he drawls slowly, seriously contemplating it. “…if I win…” he repeats, deeply thinking.

Make him give up dango for a time? Nah, too mean. He gets Timcanpy? Pretty much contingent on the little golem agreeing. Something embarrassingly risqué? Pffft, yeah right. This was Allen Walker they were talking about, Apprentice-of-Marian-Cross. No way that kind of thing would really embarrass him all that much (as far as Lavi could guess anyway).

He thinks of it. His face nearly splits in half. He leans over towards Allen’s ear to whisper it.

“If I win, you gotta make Kanda bald.” Crossing his arms and standing back, his grin turns into a devious little smile. “And, you gotta do it plucking all the hairs out. One. By. One.”

{– glissxndo –}

“If you ask for something weird, I’m going to leave an angry raccoon in your bed tonight.”

But he’s sure that warning will fall on deaf ears, as they often do with Lavi.  But it seems Lavi finally thinks of a condition after what seems like forever. And Allen’s almost disappointed by it. Why would anyone waste such a perfect opportunity to get him to do any number of things by wanting what he’d already do any day of the week?

The latter part sounded tedious, but manageable. 

It doesn’t stop Allen from glaring at the redhead half-heartedly. Maybe that’s why he asked for it; he knew he was likely to get what he wanted whether he won or not. “Honestly, ask me for something more worthwhile why don’t you…”

But at the same time, he’d rather not give Lavi the chance to change it and come up with something completely, utterly ridiculous. “I can do that. But I won’t—since you’re going to lose, anyways.”

{– 49scribes –}

“Well I could’ve made it something having to do with Komui and his crazy inventions…” Lavi grinned, to show he was seriously contemplating it. “But that just sounded like cruel and unusual punishment no one should be subjected to.”

Allen in particular has a rather unfortunate history with Komui’s inventions. Then again, who at the Order doesn’t, really?

“And we’ll just see who loses to whom!” he declared, all before going and ordering a feast from Jerry, who only looked baffled, confused, and worried that either food s going to go to waste or someone is going to hurt themselves (that someone being Lavi, naturally) trying to cram it all down.

Lavi, on the other hand, willfully ignores the concern and sits down at a table with too many plates for anyone who isn’t Allen to eat and a couple of tall bottles of wine, eye shining with challenge.

“Ready to lose, beansprout? I hope you’re ready to start pluckin’~”

Take Care of You

A/N: Like I said last night, I should start posting more often than I have been. I’m working on fixing my rules link and updating everything. I’ve even been working on a master list for my imagines. Also, I’m about to reach my first hundred so yay!

*****

I stared at the stick that was sitting on the bathroom counter. It had there been for the past hour staring back at me with two pink lines. The information still had not sunk in and Oli would be home any minute now.

There wad no way I could be pregnant. Oli and I were always so careful! We used protection and I always remembered to took my birth control. Neither of us ever thought that this could happen.

How would I tell Oli about this? Our baby. There was no way he would stick around to take care of me and the baby. He’s always so busy with touring and recording in the studio. Bring Me The Horizon was his life! He won’t have the time for me and the baby. The two of us would just get in the way of his soaring music career.

I sat next to the toilet and took as many deep breaths as possible. I felt like there was a fire burning in my throat. Like I was about to vomit. I don’t know if it was nerves or my pregnancy, but all of a sudden I was leaning over the toilet and tasting my breakfast for the second time.

“[Y/N]?” I heard my name after a few moments of this. I didn’t want to spend nine months going through this every morning. I didn’t think I could handle it. “Are you okay?”

All of this, my worries about him leaving and the baby growing inside me, was just too much. I felt the burning behind my eyes and wanted to disappear. I curled up so maybe Oli wouldn’t notice my tears. I just wanted him to stay for as long as I could keep him. And that wouldn’t be much longer if he knew.

“What’s wrong, [Y/N]? You know you can always talk to me,” he said bending down to wipe the tears from my face. His gentle touch made me cry even harder. I couldn’t tell him. What would I do without him? The baby would need his father.

“Oli,” I managed to choke out before I broke down again. The confusion and worry mixing in his eyes hurt. I didn’t want to do this to him. I took in a shaky breath and stood up. I picked up the test that could unravel our relationship in a short second and held it out to him.

Oli looked down at my outstretched my hand. I did not expect him to smile. Especially so brightly. It seemed as if he had the sun inside him. I had never seen him this happy. “I’m going to be a dad,” he said softly as the information sunk in. “I’m going to be a dad!” Oli said louder with more excitement.

“I didn’t expect you to be so happy. I was so worried you would leave me,” I said smiling a little.

“Why would you think that, my love?” Oli asked his sunny smile disappearing a little.

“I just thought that the baby and I would get in the way of your music career. I mean, you have the whole world in front of you and I would just hold you back. That’s not what you need,” I explained softly. There was a moment of silence, but then Oli put his hand gently against my cheek.

His smile was faint, but still there. “I’m always going to be with you,” he said placing a kiss on my forehead. “Now would you like to celebrate?”

I smiled brightly and nodded. The happiness I felt was unreal. Now, it felt like the sun was in me too.

*****

Eight months into my pregnancy, and I was huge. I felt like an extra large duck or something as I waddled around. I would bumb into things and knock them over. I needed help getting up from the couch and peed every few minutes. Life was miserable.

Luckily, Oli was there to help me out. He didn’t mind making me the weird foods I requested and holding my hair back as I threw up. He had even postponed working on their new album to take care of me. I teared up at the thought of him, but that was probably just the hormones.

At the moment, Oli was sprinting out of the car to get your door for you. He wouldn’t let you do a thing. Make your own food: “You could break a plate or something and cut your hand, love!” Take a shower: “What if you slip and can’t get up?” Or even walk outside by yourself: “I don’t want you to get hurt or lost or something like that.”

“Let me get the groceries, dear,” he said with a sweet kiss on my forehead. I sighed dramatically as he picked up the six bags and two gallons of milk by himself.

“Oli, I can help. Stop putting everything on your own shoulders. Literally!” I said forcefully taking a gallon of milk and a bag away from him.

At first, his eyes held a look of hurt, but understanding filled them a second later. I heard him exhale softly behind me as we were halfway up to our shared flat. He dropped the groceries he held and grabbed my wrist causing me to let go of the groceries I carried.

Oli rested one hand in my oversized stomach and moved his other one from my wrist to my face. “[Y/N], I just worry about you. I want you and our child to stay safe and healthy. You concern me, my dear. And only because I love you so much,” he explained as he kissed me sweetly.

“I’m so excited that this baby is yours. We couldn’t be better taken care of, Oli,” I replied returning his gentle touches. “I love you too.”