images ratees

I’m? So angry on @steveaoki and his teams’ account. Like. They have been working their butts off for this single. Steve has been mentioning it as much as he can, and his team has been using it as much as possible. So the fact that The Late Late Show is trying to use Louis’ name to promote the single (meanwhile his fans have done more than his team has for this single) is so gross. 

I want a hashtag with Louis and Steve TOGETHER, if not one for Steve alone if you’re going to make the host make one without Steve. The false idea that Louis’ fanbase is just here to blindly promote whatever he does needs to be squashed. We have continued to support this song and promotion cycle because Steve and his team have made us feel like we are being recognized and loved for the effort we put forward. 

The fact that The Late Late Show has been naive enough to think that it has been a blind following is insulting to us as fans and Steve and his team as people. I’m so angry right now.



For anyone concerned about Steven Universe’s ratings, a contentious issue during the past few months, accept the following image! The ratings from the Wanted arc have just come in, and they’re some of the highest the show has even seen! It was Cartoon Network’s highest rated show that evening, even surpassing long-time rival Teen Titans, Go!

As both a fan and content creator for Steven Universe, I want to extend my heartfelt thanks to everyone for tuning in and showing your support for the show! It’s effort and moments like these that will show CN that QUALITY over QUANTITY is what people want!

anonymous asked:

If you're still doing crappy day fics, I've had a couple really bad self-image days, and I could use some Tony/Pepper/Rhodey where Tony feels insecure about how he looks. Thank you.

i’m sorry you’ve been feeling that way. i hope this helps!


“Yeah, huh, wha?” Tony realizes abruptly that Pepper’s talking to him and she’s got that tone that tells him she’s said his name more than once. He blinks and drags his gaze away from his reflection in Rhodey’s aviators and over to her. “Sorry, I’m listening.”

“No, you aren’t,” Pepper says kindly and strokes his arm. “You’re distracted.”

Tony swallows, not entirely sure what to say.

“You were staring at me,” Rhodey puts in. “And not in a good way. You were making this face.” He pulls down his glasses and then twists his face up in an expression of revulsion. Then he meets Tony’s eyes. “You wanna tell me what that’s about?”

“It’s not you!” Tony blurts, because god forbid Rhodey think that he—

The look Rhodey gives him is supremely unimpressed. “You think I don’t know that? What’s going through your head?” He taps the mirror reflective surface of the lenses of his sunglasses and Tony grimaces when it brings his attention back to his reflection. Rhodey’s eyes narrow.

“I look ten years older than either of you,” Tony says without meaning to. That’s mortifying.

“Oh, Tony,” Pepper sighs. “That’s not true.”

Tony snorts. He drags a finger across the puffy skin under his eye, and the crows feet around the corners, the gray that’s peeking out of the hair at his temples. “Like hell it isn’t.”

Pepper rolls her eyes. “I didn’t say you weren’t aging. You look older than you used to, yes, but you don’t look any older than we do.”

“Speak for yourself,” Rhodey says and Pepper smacks him lightly on the arm. He grins. Then he sobers and looks over at Tony, reaching across the table to twine their hands together. “Seriously, Tones. She’s right. You look older, but not ten years older than us. And there’s nothing wrong with your eyes or your hair. The hair’s sexy.”

“And the wrinkles around your eyes are beautiful when you smile,” Pepper adds.

Tony smiles reflexively at the compliment and props his chin on his hand to hide it.

“Like that!” Pepper says, delighted and then pushes up to lean across the table and kiss the crows feet.

“I think you’re both delusional,” Tony says and then mumbles, “but thanks.”

anonymous asked:

Leela, oh man I can't wait to read your response to this video, tbh while I was watching it, half of my brain was just thinking about how much I was looking forward to your reaction

this is so unbelievably sweet and i can’t believe that you look forward to hearing my thoughts so much!! i’m going to be completely dead honest with yall (when am i not tbh) … i was not one of the people who was super jazzed about the idea of a pastel edits video. i totally sided with dan in his past live show responses about the idea–that there’s no cohesive culture or stereotypical tropes around “pastel” that they could try to imitate, and also (though he didn’t say this) that it’s basically just a product of a sort of sexualized trope that tumblr seemed to make up out of thin air. i think i generally felt that at worst it would make them really uncomfortable, and at best it would just be a video of them putting on random pastel clothes and maybe wigs and making fun of the whole concept and that’s about it. so like. god damn, i was not prepared for how good this was nor the boundaries that it pushed, especially coupled with the tweet from dan preceding it. and even though there was still a lot of mockery and grumbling about it, especially from dan, i was not prepared for how much they would genuinely enjoy it and have fun with it. i think that’s just a testament to them and their connection/chemistry more than anything–it seems like there are very few scenarios and situations they get into together that they don’t end up completely loving and enjoying almost purely bc of how much they’re able to make each other laugh and bring each other joy. but also, in this case, bc they were so visibly enjoying the opportunity to touch and flirt and see each other wear a totally different look to their norm (and incidentally those exact things were what made punk edits irl such an incredible video too).

that being said, it wasn’t all just flirting and softness. there was some unexpected depth to this, or at least, a lot of room for me to speculate about what it might mean for them to be making a video like this, speculate about how they might feel about it, etc. and in order to do that i’m going to discuss a whole bunch of things that happened in the vid in three general categories: soft things, sarcastic things, and sexual things lol. one overarching observation to begin though: um. not to objectify but. phil is lookin damn fine. idk if his running/gyming are already having an impact but he somehow looked really well built in that t-shirt in a way i don’t think i’m used to seeing, so. ok. just had to get that out of the way.

1. soft things:

obvi, deeper analysis aside, there was a lot of genuinely sweet, wholesome, lovely shit happenin’ in this vid and it all had me close to tears. first of all. the brief and gut-wrenching return of the music from the blindfolded cat game vid and the dan and phil do poppen kookin vid, aka the softest videos known to mankind. thx phil. also interesting bc that means he def associates that music with softness and maybe he thinks about those videos as being soft and adorable and pure in the same way that we do. then,,,, phil going so high pitched when he talks about dans curls and saying that he’s ‘obsessed’ and dan getting all flustered when phil touches his hair and forgetting how to talk lol. “am i consenting you?” same. just generally, this was a video full of phil being rly into dans neck tattoo and dans curls and,,,, dan. just generally lmao. ik they lie all the time about preparing for videos and make it sound like phil does all the preparation even when dan has a hand in it, but in this case i really want to believe that phil actually went out (or online) shopping for dan and picked out that sweater and dungarees mostly bc he thought it’d be rly cute to see dan wearing them, which is why he also seemed to expend less effort on shopping for his own outfits. i loved his emphatically positive comments about the various elements of the get-up like when he was putting the tattoo on dan’s neck and told him that it would look amazing in such an earnest completely non-sarcastic way!!!! and a bit earlier when dan decided to also compliment phil out of nowhere, ALSO in such a genuine and emphatic and non-sarcastic way, regarding his “accurate cutting out” skills. the way that dan was instinctively so happy with phil’s arm tattoo and his first thought was to tell phil it matches his eyes before he naturally diluted it by slipping into a sarcastic tone of voice. and the way that he was so supportive of phil’s blue wig in a way that went beyond “u look good,” but rather was more along the lines of “u look good AND this fits with this deeper thing about you that i love so much and that shows how deeply i know you, namely the way that you want to make an impact when u enter a room” ahhhhhh goodness i think they both really found each other to be very pretty in these outfits, and doing a video like this is is as much a fun and exciting thing for them to experience as it is for us to watch.

one thing that really stood out to me was the moment when dan talks about feeling like he wants to do some ‘soft’ things after assuming this new persona and then he lists some examples of what those might be: writing a poem, cloud gazing, buying some sorbet, and then phil pitches in with surfing off the edge of a waterfall … which like,,, what? lmao. but the reason this moment hit me so hard is because it was the first point in watching the video that i realized that they were completely avoiding associating the concept of “pastel” with some more generalized concept of “femininity” and rather, just associating it with softness and aesthetic choices, both of which they proceeded to discuss throughout the video with absolutely no gender typecasting attached. so in this exchange, it really struck me that even when they were listing ‘soft activities’ they didn’t say anything about wanting to do activities that are stereotypically girly, nor did they shy away from talking about embracing things that could be perceived in that way like writing poetry or hugging unicorns or eating sorbet or whatever else. really the only mention of gender at all during the video was when phil talks about finding male underwear (on dan’s laptop btw, i just need to point that out) and even then they were just bemused at the idea that men would *want* to embrace the pastel but feel the need to hide it under their jeans lol. idk,, i’ve written about this before at great length (especially last year when dan bought the rhinestoned gatorland hat) but it’s just so lovely to see both of them progress to this point of total comfort with how they might be perceived and give absolutely no mind at all to any nasty stereotypes that people might launch at them for being two men in an extremely close relationship deciding to dress up in pink and touch each other and hold rainbow umbrellas and light up unicorns. like. the very THOUGHT of that happening a few years ago would be totally absurd especially with dan’s own seemingly internalized homophobia and both of their enforcement of gender binaries/heteronormativity. and yet, it’s a point that i will never stop making bc i can’t adequately express how happy it makes me: dan and phil have grown so much. we’ve watched them blossom into these self-assured people who are confident not only in themselves but in their relationship with each other, who are proud not only of themselves but of their relationship with each other, and who no longer feel such an innate need to hide.

2. sexual things:

in a similar vein, there was so much surprisingly overt sexual flirting and innuendo in this video that absolutely was not demanded by the situation at all. with last years halloween baking, one could make the argument that it’d be hard to mess about with melted chocolate and poke sticks into balls without making a lot of innuendos and giggling at them. but,,, there’s nothing in any way sexual about phil clipping on dan’s overalls for him….like. it was a completely innocent thing for phil to do. but dan decided to say “strapping me up on camera there’s a certain audience for this sort of video” while it was happening, as though *inviting* us to interpret this sexually, putting the thought into our heads on his own terms. the same applies to the tweet teasing the video. first of all he didn’t need to tweet at all but he did, to promo a video that wasn’t even on his own channel i want to point out. and if he wanted to promo it he could’ve just done a generic “just got done filming with phil” tweet or even a “wow just got done filming with phil and now we’re so messy” tweet but instead of leaving it there he took it to an explicitly sexual place of his own accord and, again, on his own terms. i can’t think of an explanation for this besides the notion that dan wants us to get used to thinking about them in sexual contexts, and he’s trying to push back a little on the strictly platonic and g-rated image they’ve built for themselves and their interactions. of course one could easily point out as a counter-argument that this isn’t the absolute first time they’ve made sexual comments about themselves. a good fairly recent example, but still pre-baking universe, was when they did the 3 legged ddr video on dapg and dan kept making comments about bondage and whatnot. but that still seems so different to me than many of the examples from this video for two reasons: first because, as mentioned before, the situation in the 3 legged ddr vid, in which they were literally taping themselves together, kind of demands innuendo in a more immediate way than like, strapping on overalls does. and, second, because the comments in that vid still seemed a tad uncomfortable, somewhat like dan envisioning the way that people would be screaming about these moments and sexualizing them anyway, and feeling forced to acknowledge the sexual overtones of the situation himself to get out in front of it. in this video, the difference is that dan truly and happily *went out of his way* to make these sexual and flirty comments, about the overalls, about tattooing phil’s penis or his ass, about phil biting him if he (dan) mentions cotton candy. and on and on. like,,,,, totally unnecessary, totally comments that dan made of his own volition bc he *wanted* to and *chose* to and that is so so important to me.

at the same time, phil, while less vocal in his flirting, broke the g-rated boundaries in his own ways, especially, and probs most memorably, by unzipping his trousers plainly in view of the camera and then plainly in view of dan. i was really shocked to see that and felt like i’d been totally transported back to 2008 lol. they’re both making these conscious decisions to unravel certain parts of this veneer they’ve had in place for so long and it’s something so exciting and monumental to me.

3. sarcastic comments:

as exciting as all of the above is, there hasn’t been a total transformation yet. there was still some visible discomfort with aspects of what they were doing, mostly on dan’s part, but a bit on phil’s as well, and to me it came out mostly in the form of super sarcastic comments sprinkled throughout the video. at 2:38 when dan says “it’s just like so pastel,” in the most mocking voice of all time. pretty much the whole time they are looking thru the example pics and trying not to make fun of the edits, but then basically openly shitting on the whole concept of aesthetic moodboards and whatnot. the “this is so stupid” comment that dan makes around that time. at 5:38 phil saying, “wow dan you look so soft.” this one is less clear but to me it definitely sounded sarcastic and mocky. at 6:59 the voice/face dan uses when he says “these soft knees. woowwwww.” at 9:07 when dan asks, “what is my life? why do i keep agreeing to these stupid videos? … do you deserve this?” and then at the end, phil saying “the things we do for you guys” and promoting dan’s channel, with dan quickly reassuring people his content is “not like this.” there are just these threads of self-consciousness and self-awareness that i don’t think they were fully able to shake, and an awareness specifically that this video seems/feels a lot like pandering, or at least specifically responding to something that was so vehemently requested by the audience and that they’re pretty clearly doing it just to “give the people what they want” (even though of course they ended up appearing to love it and have so much fun with it). this whole aspect of video-making for an audience is always going to be a tricky one for them, because they both pride themselves on originality and creativity and a so-called quality threshold and all that other bullshit, so choosing to make a video that is such a fervent fan request and that doesn’t involve the same creative energy that they’d normally want probably makes them somewhat uncomfortable (esp if that video is one where they have to literally dress up as a popular fan fantasy and touch each other a lot). that’s why it was so particularly interesting to me to hear phil say “well we’re on my channel there’s no integrity here,” because from *our* perspective it’s true that phil seems to care less about the quality threshold that dan talks about, and that he’s happy to put up fluff content (with dan) quite frequently whether it be a phil is not on fire or a day in the life or a baking vid or whatever else. phil’s clearly speaking in amusement and jest when he says his channel has no integrity but undelrying the humor is a clear separation they seem to see between the purpose of their channels and i was surprised to hear it reiterated so directly. this coupled with what we know about phil being more business-minded, having an on-camera presence that seems to be more different from his real self than dan’s, censoring himself, keeping his thoughts somewhat reserved, ,,, there are lots of connections here that i’m seeing but not finding the best words for in this moment. i think what i mean is that phil views his channel as entertainment in the most literal and fundamental way: the purpose is to please the audience, make them feel good and happy, and give them what they want to see. that process doesn’t necessarily require him to put a lot of himself out there. on the flip side dan sees his channel and his content as true artistic endeavors that are representative of who he is, his value as a creator and maybe even as a person since he connects so much of his self-assigned meaning of life to his career. all of this is shit we knew, but. i’ve never heard phil comment so glibly and cavalierly about that divide. the comment felt super important to me.

overall: there’s such a strongly purposive quality to everything dan and phil choose to do. even amongst all of the sensory onslaught of this video, the scenes of dan stroking phil’s arm and phil cooing over dan’s curls and both of them referencing sex and sexual situations so much, it’s this mindfulness, the transparently premeditated nature of it all, that hit me hardest and that i cannot stop thinking about. they’ve made so much progress in such a relatively short space, with their comfort levels and their confidence and their ability to disregard audience perceptions or, if they do regard it, to at least not let it dictate their behavior so damn much. ultimately with a video like this, when so much seems to have shifted, my mind always goes back to the frame-by-frame way in which videos are edited and the consequently frame-by-frame way that dnp watched this video back, looked at every joke they made, every touch they shared, and decided to leave things in as they were. decided to sit and maybe draft a tweet together that very consciously broke down their carefully constructed walls. it all is very deliberate and that matters. this video could definitely in my opinion be remembered as a turning point much like halloween baking if it is followed by more behavior that pushes boundaries, more conversation about defying gender roles and stereotypes, more sexual humor, etc. it was so exciting to watch and i’m so proud of them on so many levels.

(dan and phil pastel edits irl

BTS REACTS TO: Finding your vibrator

Anon Asked:  What about their reaction to finding a vibrator in y/n’s room? XD

I’d like to teach you about the lord and savior Beyonce Knowles. - Admin Dayna


Forgive him father for he has sinned. He was only looking for a pair of socks. If he had been actually paying attention to which drawer he was opening, he wouldn’t have been in this predicament. Jin was old and mature enough for things like this to not bother him so much, but it was just… it was so unexpected. And it was you. I mean, people had their needs, but… it was… right there. Jin stared at your vibrator for a moment, his brain blank, body frozen. He just stood and stared. Motionless. Speechless. Then finally came to his senses, a shiver running down his spine as he slammed the drawer shut. 

It was best left unspoken.

Originally posted by myjaebutt

Keep reading


Art and the Zenn (and related material) copyright Sarspax

Cyros copyright @aftertouchs   

Some weapon design sketches as part of my Throw Me A Weapon! commission series. The first one is just a zenn weapon from a doodle dump I cleaned up. I have dozens of zenn weapons sketched out so far. Pretty excited to try and get up to date official references for things out soonish.

The second image is a weapon for a good buddy of mine whose character Cyros can use. Cyros is a nature deity who can summon a suit of burning bark-like armor grown outward from his own body. The canon is a potential extension of the suit. (I might revise it slightly to actually flesh out the hollowed end better. I had ideas for that and forced myself to stop because I’d gotten too lost in the wonderful details and kinda had a meditative tree drawing session before remembering I was going to burn and crack it afterwards. Good stuff. Had a lot of fun. I’m sure Aftertouch is going to mess around and elaborate or create some sort of derivatives. 

Go check out Aftertouch’s stuff, for real it’s really lovely. Very painty and heavily textured in a fine art sort of way. Very fun to look at. Really nice inky sketches and almost abstract way of painting environments. Lot of cool headworld material related to Cyros and other characters in that world. I really don’t have enough praise for this guy. He cool. Be nice to him. :)

That’s something fully intended for the Throw Me A Weapon commission series anyway. Its more or less a flat rate ‘allow me to pull something out of my magic design hat’. There’s no prompting involved, no suggestions, no input. You just give me a character and link me any information you want to offer me. There’s no guarantee that I’ll look at all of it. But I’ll take whatever strikes me as interesting and build something cool off of that.

You’re free to alter the design however you want afterwards or transplant it to a different character. My aim is to make sure the weapon (or tool) is as tied into and a reflection of (my gut interpretation) of that character. I’ll make a journal with official pricing and stuff tomorrow but the quality bar is going to be more or less like the first image with a flat rate somewhere between $15-$35 usd. 

As the next week or so go by I’ll feel it out and consider doing complexity tiers. I don’t want to make this complicated on myself but I also want to be available for people who feel like spending more for a more complex design like the second image which was kinda overkill. I don’t have any intention of making any designs hit that level of detail, I really wanted to do friend art and it ended up working out as a cool example for this series as far as my ability to work with other people’s source material.

Again, I’ll post more info in a later more official journal. This is just a teaser and because the images were so damn popular on DA. Forgot that I’ve basically just returned from a massive one year hiatus because of college. IM BACK MOFOKOS


Terms of Service

To get a commission just send an email to and include the following:

  • Username(s) -Tumblr/Twitter,etc
  • Paypal email
  • Commission type (B&W/Colour - Portrait/Half/Full-body, etc)
  • How many characters you want (50% of base price applies on Half and Full. Not applicable on busts)
  • References (Visual refs are a MUST I don’t work off of description alone. Notes about things missing in refs are super okay!)
  • Image rating (PG-NC17. Keep in mind there are things I won’t draw at all refer to my Terms of Service for more details, but if you’re not sure feel free to ask anyway!)

All payment will be up-front. The deadline will be from one to two weeks. Chances are it will be much quicker than that, but I like a bit of wiggle room in case something comes up. If I were to be delayed beyond the stablished deadline, I will get in touch immediately.

If you’re looking for something cheaper, $3 at my kofi can get you a little doodle. CLICK HERE. Just make sure to leave a ref in the comment.

As always, reblogs are appreciated. Thank you for looking!

anonymous asked:

Yeti crab!

don’t you mean crabominable?

Hate it | Not my type | it’s ok | Good | Great! | One of my Favorites! | I LOVE IT!!   

Look at those floofy arms!!??!?! Probably great at giving hugs! it’s scientific name is  Kiwa hirsuta. hirsuta means hairy! (like hirsute) 

they live near hydrothermal vents deep in the ocean! 

“the “hairy” pincers contained lots of filamentous bacteria. Some scientists think the bacteria detoxify poisonous minerals from the water, allowing K. hirsuta to survive around the [deep sea hydrothermal] vents.” -BBC(2006)

anonymous asked:

as an expert on cursed images, i rate this blog 665/666

How dare you disrespect me like that?? Where’s your diploma, your certificate, your degree? If you’re not a satan himself you better stay quiet bye

enjolras complaining that grantaire never does anything productive with his time and R’s like ‘um excuse you i run an extremely well-recieved art blog' 

so enjolras feels bad and he sheepishly goes to check it out and it’s all like 

'ugly renaissance baby ratings’ (4 - seen worse)

'pin the boob on madonna’ (that’s not where breasts go)

sketches of famous paintings from other perspectives to show that someone’s arm is coming out of their fucking back 

and he never answers anyone just uses reaction images like 

This an art zine if for a-spec identifying individuals and those who accept them as valid. 

All art must be positive and not include blood/gore or x-rated material.

Selected images will be compiled in a printed book.

If you are interested in participating please message this blog with your submissions.

Feel free to ask questions.

B for Bollocks (2/2)

Hey guys! Thank you again for all the kind words about this story! As opposed to part 1, this second half was a struggle for me. I went back and forth with two endings and I still don’t know if I made the right choice. Honestly I am not fully happy with it, but who doesn’t doubt themselves right?  Plus if I agonize over it anymore I’ll never complete it. I’m going away at the weekend for a month long holiday and I didn’t want to wait until I got back to post it, so here it is flaws and all. Hope you enjoy! xx

Archie had rung him five times, Chop had knocked for him twice, and Rae had done zero of either in the past four days (and that was the count that mattered most).

Finn wasn’t angry with her, never could be really. It wasn’t her fault she was brilliant and he was a coward. He had watched in jealous anguish as Archie dated her and told himself that he wouldn’t let it happen again. Until it did.

Finn was gone on her almost immediately, but by the time he actually realized it his best mate had moved in. He had been so relieved when they didn’t work out. The closer Finn got to Rae, the closer he stepped to the edge of falling hopelessly for her.
That one afternoon in his room, when she had confessed about France, about her scars, she had seemed so afraid of his reaction. Rae’s eyes had filled with tears as she folded into herself and away from him. She had babbled about how she would understand if he didn’t want her around, if he wanted her to leave and stay away, but all it did was make him want her more. She was so brave, so strong, so wrong about herself. Finn had held her close and whispered that no matter what he always wanted her around. From that moment she was his, and he’d tried to stake his claim in little touches or looks, listening sessions in his room and mix-tapes full of subliminal messages. Finn was crap with words and he knew actually voicing it out loud ran the risk of losing everything. He’d been such a dick to her in the beginning he was just happy to have her as a friend; happy she trusted him enough with her real self. So he let his feelings rest, let the steady tingle in his skin settle as he waited for some kind of sign; his hope being buoyed by how she said his name or left her scent lingering on his pillows. Evidently, he had waited too long and deep down he knew he had no one to blame but himself.

But that didn’t stop him from avoiding everybody, opting to sulk in his room instead. And sulking is really all he could do. He couldn’t even appreciate his records anymore because everything reminded him of Rae; how she hummed along with Morrissey, mouthed the words to The Stone Roses, and swayed her hips to Primal Scream (she probably thought he didn’t notice, but he definitely did; the visual aiding him in at least a dozen wanks). Not to mention Spaceman. After leaving the pub he had bitterly shoved it in the back of the furthest crate, darkly muttering “our song, my arse”. But it was that very thought that stopped him from hurling it like a frisbee towards the tip. She never liked Radiohead much, but he couldn’t fall back on that either because once Brandon had showed up in a Thom Yorke shirt and that’s all Finn could picture when No Surprises came on. “Tosser didn’t even have the decency to have crap taste in music,” Finn grumbled to himself before shutting off his speakers. He looked around his room for something else to do, but again all he saw were the places Rae had sat or stood or touched, and he knew it was no use.

It was midday Friday which meant the gang was most likely at the chippy. Finn looked over at the calendar pinned to his wall where he had surreptitiously marked down Rae’s work schedule to see that she was off, which meant she would be there too. He wasn’t sure if he was excited or sick at that. Usually he barely lasted 24 hours without seeing her but now being around her meant seeing B-for-Bollocks-Bastard-Brandon too. Finn sat contemplating going, images of slapping Brandon’s smug face with a fresh from the fryer battered sausage swirling in his mind, when his stomach growled angrily making his decision for him. Can’t avoid them forever. With a huff he grabbed his flannel and helmet and clopped down the stairs.

Finn paused outside the chippy window. The gang was sat at the same table where they had assembled the day before Knebworth, the day he’d punched Big G, the day he should have walked Rae home and told her that Chop might as well have printed her name on the front of Finn’s shirt because, really, he was more excited to see her than Oasis.
Rae was sat at the end of the table and the hungry animal in his stomach morphed into a thousand restless butterflies. Fuck, if she didn’t somehow get prettier in the last 72 hours. She was wearing her I Wanna Be Adored shirt and a genuine smile; two of his favourite things to see on her. Again he thought of another lost opportunity: that day in the park where he’d been so eager to apologize he’d forgotten he was half naked. Then he’d gone and made that garbled noise in the back of his throat after telling her she was sound. Not to mention his I-realize-this-is-too-long-but-I’m-busy-sniffing-your-hair hug. The memory made him cringe. “Such a twat,” he mumbled to himself, turning to get back on his scooter, but a loud bang and the vibration of the shop window made him jump. Chop’s gap tooth grin at startling him immediately changed to one of a stern parent as he brandished a finger and said “GET THE FUCK IN HERE” loud enough for Finn to hear through the thick glass. Well he had no choice now, he’d been spotted. Hitting his helmet against his thigh, he went for the door. Chop grabbed him by the back of the neck as soon as he was in arms reach.

“The hell have you been?!” Chop admonished, steering him towards the table. Finn shrugged. Not like he could say ’Oh, just at home being miserable and getting strange looks off my dad.’

Looking up he noticed an empty seat in front of Rae, Archie next to her and, surprisingly, Brandon beside him. Finn furrowed his brow at that. If Rae was his he’d be sat close enough to hand feed her chips and feel her breath on his neck. That image quickly turned X rated in his mind, and he had to shake his head to rid himself of the poorly timed fantasy. Not now, he told himself as he slipped into the empty chair.

“Finn!” Izzy waved at him enthusiastically, her red hair bouncing happily. “We missed you, where ya been?”

“Yeah where’d you disappear to?” Chloe’s tone was slightly accusatory and it made him hunch his shoulders.

Shit, really can’t avoid this question. “Just around” he shrugged again. Finn looked over at Archie and was met with crossed arms and an icy glare. I guess I deserve that. “Archer”

Archie looked him over, probably assessing how much Finn had punished himself already before determining how much more crap he deserved for blanking him for days. He must have read the lines under Finn’s eyes from lack of sleep and the frustratingly skewed fringe like one of his history books because his shoulders lost their menace, and that sympathetic smile was back. “You alright?” Archie asked. Two words with a hundred annotations. Was he alright? Finn genuinely didn’t know, so he let his head do a weird shake/nod/shrug thing to neither confirm nor deny.

The table’s conversation continued but Finn noticed Rae had gone quiet since he’d walked in. She was looking down at her tray as she swirled a chip in curry sauce. “Hey Rae” Finn managed, but not without his voice cracking on the end of her name. Fuck will I ever not be a complete pleb around her? He cleared his throat to recover, but her eyes shot up to him and she actually looked relieved before that genuine smile was back.

“Finnley. I was starting to think you’d left the country, or at least Lincolnshire,” she teased in a hushed tone, before pushing her cone of chips towards him in offering.

“Thought about it,” he said honestly, grabbing a chip as a distraction. He felt her nudge his foot with hers under the table and he looked up to find her smiling softly.

“You’re alright though?” To that he nodded. If it meant her eyes wouldn’t look so sad, he would make himself alright. “And uh…we’re..well, are we alright?” Her voice was quiet and hesitant and Finn suddenly felt incredibly guilty for running out on her without explaining. But how do you explain your heart in your throat and your stomach falling out of your arse?

“Yeah. ‘Course,” and he let his foot nudge her back. Her smile was wide this time, reaching her eyes until she bit her lip and nodded. For Finn it was one of those moments; the kind that mutes and blurs everything else around them and makes him feel like maybe he gets what love is.

He tore his gaze away to catch his breath and see if Archie had caught their exchange, but instead was met with Brandon looking over at them. His forehead was creased with a look of consternation before his eyes met Finn’s. Finn made sure to hold his gaze firmly until Brandon gave him a half nod and turned back to conversation with the others.

“Right. Now that this bellend is back,” Chop’s voice rose over the din of the table as he pointed a half eaten saveloy in Finn’s direction, “we can discuss the rave tomorrow.”

Saturday morning had Finn certain that he wasn’t going to go. Last night he’d dreamt of the rave: a pulsing room with swirling colours and warm bodies, and at the centre of it all Brandon was kissing Rae. Finn had woken up in a cold sweat, a hard pain in his chest and an even harder determination to not subject his reality to that gutting scene.
That is until Chop showed up at his with glow sticks, whistles and a threat to tell Gary about the time they’d nicked his expensive scotch and gashed the side of his car trying to make the curve of the McDonalds drive thru. They had been able to get their burgers and convince Gary it must have been vandalism, escaping any punishment. It was the miracle of their then 15 year old lives, and the only reason Finn wasn’t still grounded, so he had no choice but to get ready.

The ride there was loud and the gang had so much energy it boosted Finn’s enthusiasm. He hollered along, drinking cans with Archie, glad that he ended up in a separate car from Rae and Brandon. But when he sees her emerge from Chop’s Renault 5 looking like some golden glittery goddess, he wishes so badly that he had been pressed against her in the back seat until the sequins of her jacket left oddly shaped imprints on his skin. Chop offers him something from a baggy and whatever it is, he’s taking it.

They’re dancing now, just him and Rae. Everyone else has split off and Finn doesn’t care or even wonder where they are because she has his whistle in her mouth and her hands above her head and she looks about as loose as he feels. She’s not touching him at all, but the string of the whistle might as well be connected right to his soul because he feels completely tethered to her. This is how it should be. Him and Rae, happy, together. He’s lost all inhibitions to intoxication and is about to tell her just how right this feels, but then Izzy is pulling her away and his whistle drops to his chest and settles against his heartache. Reality drips down him like the sweat on his brow; he’d almost confessed to a girl with a boyfriend. She’s with Brandon, he reminds himself.
After watching Rae get swallowed by the crowd, Finn moves to the back of the room where it’s slightly quieter, seeking the bar to shoot down anything that will replace the sinking in his stomach with a fiery burn. But he doesn’t make it because he’s stopped dead in his tracks and what he’s seeing has successfully set his whole body alight with fury.

Brandon is leaned against a wall in an intimate embrace with some brunette in a tight dress, his mouth on her neck as her hands move up his shirt. Blind rage surges through Finn and the next thing he knows he has Brandon by the collar and is shoving him up against the brick, the brunette cast off and forgotten.

“What the fuck, Finn!”

“YOU SCUMMY PIECE OF SHIT!!” Finn seethes as he grabs him close, only to slam him back into the wall repeatedly. “YOU DON’T FUCKING DESERVE HER!” Finn’s whole body is shaking and he’s sure he’s never felt this angry before.

Brandon’s hands are at Finn’s wrists, and he manages to shift his weight and throw him off. Finn launches himself forward, catching Brandon by the middle and tackling him to the ground. They’re tussling and rolling over one another trying to get the upper hand, unaware of the crowd building around them. “Do you even know how fucking lucky you are?! You have her and that’s how you treat her?!” Finn is breathing hard and trying to land punches at any available spot but his determination to talk through the fight has made him sloppy and Brandon is too quick. Soon he’s being straddled, and Brandon’s hands are pinning his arms to the ground.

“What the fuck is this about?! Did you know that girl or summat?” Brandon asks through heaving breaths. This has Finn flailing, determined to escape his hold so he can murder the thick son of a bitch. He’s rolled them over now so he looms over Brandon and his right arm pulls past his ear to deliver the final crushing blow, when Brandon gives him a verbal hit that’s harder than any punch.

“I’m not with Rae!!”

Finn’s whole body slackens and his arm falls to his side. “You what?”

“That’s what this is about right? Rae?” Brandon still has his hands up in defence, bracing himself for another attack. Finn just stares at him dumbly. He is so fucking lost right now. Neither of them has moved but then a girl in the crowd breaks their intense stare down.

“Are you two gonna fight or what?” They both turn to her, and finally take notice of the ring of people surrounding them.

“Take your clothes off first!!” her friend demands before falling into a fit of giggles.

“Yeah if we had some jelly this could get really hot” another standby voice yells out.

A weak scattered chorus of “punch him, punch him, punch him” breaks out but when neither of them make a move, the crowd dissipates. Finn rolls off Brandon and sits next to him, arms resting on his knees.

“Say it again,” he demands.

“I’m not dating Rae”


“I like her. I thought maybe she liked me too, but-”

“What?” Finn’s mind was swirling. With booze and drugs and bruises he just couldn’t grasp what was happening.

“She said she didn’t want things to get weird since we worked together, but I figured there had to be another reason. Then I saw how you two looked at each other and…” Brandon trailed off and shrugged to finish his thought.

“But what about-”

“Look, Nelson” Brandon interrupted. He sounded exasperated and Finn clocked an odd look in his eye. It was almost sad. “I never took you for a cock block but that’s the second girl you’ve gotten in the middle of. Just go talk to Rae, yeah?” And with that he got up and disappeared into the crowd.

Finn’s hands shake as he dismounts his scooter and looks up at Rae’s house.
After his fight with Brandon, he’d searched for her for ages, only to hear from Archie that she had gone off to help Chop. When he asked with what, Archie had slurred through an explanation of Rae being the “daddy” and something about that twat dealer from Dalehead snogging a fairy. It had only left Finn more confused, and by the time they made it to where they had parked up, Chop’s car was gone. Finn had driven him and a queasy Archie straight to the chippy in hopes she’d be there, but when the others (bar Brandon) arrived for the debrief, Chop explained that he had dropped Rae home a few hours ago. Finn had promptly ran home to shower (no way was he going to talk to her smelling like a distillery) and grab his bike.
With a deep breath he heads towards the front door, before thinking better of waking Linda at this early an hour. Instead he climbs up the drain pipe and knocks gently on Rae’s window. After a few minutes Rae appears on the other side, confused, before she unlocks the window and opens it for him.

“Finn? What the bloody hell are you doing out there?” She whisper yells.

“Is it alright if I come in?”

“Uh…yeah okay. Just don’t break your neck alright? Don’t need my mum waking up to a dead body on the lawn.” She moves aside to let him in and once he’s safely got feet to carpet she’s asking “thought we were meant to meet at the chippy?”

“I needed to talk to you about summat important. In private” Finn says, taking a step closer to her. A worried look comes over her face before she nods and gestures for him to continue. “Rae…I…” he trails off, unsure of where to start, so he takes another step so they’re toe to toe.

“What?” her voice is so quiet and he can tell she’s bracing herself for whatever is about to happen.

Finn’s not sure getting this close was a good idea. He can smell her shampoo and his words die on his lips when he feels her chest rising and falling against his. His body knows what it wants though and suddenly he has one hand in her hair while the other cups her cheek, stroking her face gently. Rae’s eyes look wet as her gaze moves to Finn’s lips which are only an inch away from hers.



“I came to tell you that I’ve wanted to do this for a long time,” he whispers. And then he’s kissing her.

Finn has imagined kissing her thousands of times. Endless variations of how it would go, who would make the initial move, which lip he would devour first (he always ended on her bottom one, it was just so plump), how long it would last, what noises she would make; but he never knew it could feel like this. No other girl made it feel like this. He could have never imagined how perfectly her mouth slotted with his, or the thrill that shot through him when he felt her fist his shirt and pull him closer, or the way they melted together when their tongues touched. Finn’s toes curled as his mind went blank while the rest of him felt so full. Too full; of words, of want, of need. At that moment kissing her became a necessity. World War III could be breaking out right next to them and all he would hear and see and feel was one Rae Earl.

Finn feels her smile against his lips before she pulls away slightly. Her mouth is still close enough that her lips brush his as she asks “why the fuck did we wait so long to do that?” He allows a breath of a laugh out before he’s on her again and, like at the chippy and the thousand other times he’s felt it before, it’s one of those moments. Their moments; when the rest of the world shifts away and it’s just the two of them. But this time Finn knows for sure what love is.

They’re in his room, on his bed, kissing. It’s been three weeks since the rave and they haven’t really stopped kissing, despite the protests of the gang. They haven’t gone further than that, but Finn’s not complaining. The fact that he gets to hold her by the waist and put his tongue in her mouth and call her his girl is amazing enough to him. So when Rae’s hands start to creep up the back of his shirt, and he feels her nails gently rake at his skin while her tongue swirls against his Adam’s apple, he isn’t ashamed to admit he’s already about to mess his jeans.

Finn dips his head, his mouth greedy to get back to her delicious lips. Her arms move up so her hands are in his hair and he takes the opportunity to slip his own hands under her top. She hums against his mouth and he takes it as his cue to continue. Finn’s hands ghost higher, until he can feel the smooth expanse of her back and the tips of his fingers rub the clasp of her bra. Rae shifts to lift her back off the bed and he pulls her with him so they’re both sitting upright. Finn nips her bottom lip before pulling away. He’s pleased to see she’s just as dazed as him, that maybe his kisses are messing with her mind as much as hers do his. Her eyes are half closed and her lips are swollen from his bites and the sight makes him feel like he’s on fire. She gives him a barely there brush of the lips before guiding his hands to the hem of her shirt. Finn looks into her eyes, raises his brows in question, afraid words will brake the sensous air thick around them. Rae comes close, nods against his nose before swiping her tongue across his top lip. He kisses her until he has to move to make way for her shirt and when he sees her breasts spilling out of a lacy teal bra, he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to stand her in clothes again. His eyes travel from her cleavage, higher until they settle on a necklace. The necklace. B for Brandon’s necklace.

Finn’s certain he’s never lost his arousal faster. The sight of that gold pendant between her collar bones is gut wrenching. He hasn’t seen it since that first day, and after their kiss in her room he was sure he’d never see it again. But all this time it was under her clothes like a secret. Nestled close to the breasts that he’s been fantasizing about. He hasn’t moved and the only thing that shatters his shock is Rae pulling the covers over her. When he looks to her face she seems mortified and her eyes are full of tears.

“Fuck! I knew it. You’re disgusted by me. I can’t believe I let you see me!” Rae grabs for her shirt and stands. Tears fall from her eyes and hit Finn’s hand and he feels the panic rise inside of him.

“No Rae, no! That’s not- Rae!” He’s grabbing for her now but she pulls away and shoves her shirt over her head.

“Please don’t touch me Finn, don’t!”

“Rae listen to me -”

She’s on the floor grabbing her things, frantically searching for her Converse. She’s sobbing and the sound squeezes Finn’s heart like a vice.

“Rae! Listen to me, please! It’s not you! I love how you look, I swear!” Finn knows he’s yelling but he needs her to hear him. She does. She stops mid grab for her backpack and looks up at him. He gets down on his knees so they’re level and grabs her face. “Rae, I love your body. I find you so fucking sexy, believe me. It’s just…I saw the necklace and it was like a punch to the bollocks”

“What?” Confusion clouds over Rae’s face and she pulls out of his hands.

“Brandon’s necklace. Why are you still wearing it?” Finn’s voice brakes with the painful lump in his throat.

“What? The fuck are you talking about Finn?”

Finn sighs heavy, falls back so he’s sitting on his bum, and leans against his bed. “I know it’s from him Rae. B for Brandon.”

It’s quiet for a long moment, he’s staring at his hands because he’s afraid to look at her but when she laughs his head shoots up. The tears are gone and she’s wearing a smile. Finn grimaces at her. He doesn’t see what the hell about this situation could possibly be amusing. Rae shuffles on her knees until she’s in front of him, then swings one leg over to straddle his lap.

“You numpty. This necklace is not from Brandon.”

“What? Then who’s it from?”

Rae bites her lip and her eyes dance across his face as if she’s trying to memorize this moment. “It’s from Karim”

“KARIM?! But I…I don’t..Karim?” He knows he sounds daft but he is thoroughly confused.

“He gave it to me after him and my mum got married in Tunisia. Said he wanted me to feel like part of his family, ‘cause that’s what I am” Rae shrugs and places her hands on Finn’s neck, thumbs rubbing at his jawline. “Sounds cheesy, but it meant a lot to me. It’s the first time someone has wanted to be my dad in any sorta way, you know?” Tears fill her eyes again and Finn moves his arms to circle her waist.


“B for Bouchtat, yeah” Rae interrupts and nods, giving him a watery smile. Finn buries his head in her neck, embarrassed.

“More like B for Bloody idiot. Fuck Rae, I’m so sorry. I’m such a dickhead” Finn says against her skin, nuzzling closer, trying to hide how red he’s gone. He’s been so thick about the whole situation.

“Yeah well, I’ve only been telling you that this whole time. Glad you’ve finally admitted it,” Rae laughs as she strokes his hair.

Finn places a kiss on her neck before pulling away, his finger tracing the chain of the necklace. “I really am sorry, Rae. I never want to make you cry. It’s just…the thought of you with anyone else…”

“You must really be an idiot if you think I want anyone else, Finnley. You’re stuck with me now.”

Finn beams and tightens his hold on her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. And you don’t even need to give me a necklace,” Rae teases.

“Nah, anyone can get a necklace. I was thinking something more permanent. Like a massive ‘F’ tattoo on your back or summat.” Finn traces the letter above the band of her leggings for show.

“Bollocks to that!”

Finn shakes his head and laughs before pulling her face to his, close enough for their breath to mix. He rubs his nose lightly against hers.

“I love you, girl”

“I love you too, dickhead”

Hours later when Rae is fast sleep against his chest, her bare skin sticking to his, Finn reaches for a biro in his beside drawer and draws a tiny ‘F’ on the inside of her wrist.

The end! Thank you for reading :)

I’m only tagging those who specifically asked. If you want to be added or removed, let me know!

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Who remembers Ashton’s pony shirt?? I say we make a petition to bring it back. WE WANT THE PONY SHIRT, WE WANT THE PONY SHIRT.