If I hear one more guy say that confidence is the sexiest thing in a girl, I’m going to throw up. Or, vice versa, I’ve heard a lot of girls say that confidence is the sexiest thing in a guy. Well, to me, at least, it’s not. It’s repulsive.
For starters, what about the shy girl/shy guy? Some people just have a withdrawn personality with no hope of true “confidence,” no matter how hard they may try. I myself have prayed, “Lord, help me have more confidence,” but I’m going to stop. Instead, I’m going to pray for courage and faith, two far different things. Confidence is knowing, “I’ve got this!” Courage is pressing on despite being terrified. Faith is believing something will happen when nothing is happening.
In all of my romance books, I don’t think there is one “confident” couple. There is love, strength, courage, terror, faith, and hope, but no confidence. Really, girls, who would you rather date? The guy who likes and values you so much that he’s terrified to know whether you feel the same, or the guy who’s “confident” enough to throw a line like, “Hey, baby, you and I are going to make some beautiful music together,” thinking only of how valuable HE is to YOU.
The first guy wins without question. To me, there is little difference between confidence and arrogance. This word has been irritating me so much lately that I may just add it to my list of “swear” words (“simple,” “realistic,” and now, “confident”).
Girls, especially, are told what beauty is all the time by media and even peers. Am I skinny enough? Am I curvy enough? Am I pretty enough? People are getting better at valuing beauty in all shapes and forms, but what about beauty of the spirit? How many girls (and guys) compare themselves to others who are seemingly more confident than them? How many feel intimidated by “confident” personalities in social settings?
Sweetness, compassion, tenderness. Why aren’t these things broadcasted as being more sexy than confidence?
I would argue that confidence does not even exist. We’re all human, and so we all fear and doubt something. Confidence is a façade, a dangerously comparable illusion that’s just as damaging as trends in body image. Believe in yourself. Have courage. Have faith, hope, and love by God’s grace. But, by all means, please don’t be “confident.”