50 Questions for Fic Readers
  1. What fandom(s) do you read?
  2. If you could request more of a certain type of fic, which would it be?
  3. What is your favorite all-time fic?
  4. Do you ever re-read fics? How about triple-read?
  5. Do you prefer angst or fluff?
  6. Do you prefer long fics or short fics?
  7. Name some incomplete fics that you wish were completed.
  8. Talk about the ships that you read.
  9. Do you read smut?
  10. What’s the most hard-core smut or kinky fic you’ve ever read (be honest)!
  11. Do you read AUs?
  12. List a few of your favorite AUs.
  13. What type of AUs are your favorites? Give a general description.
  14. What makes you give up on reading a fic?
  15. What makes you pick up a fic, what makes it sound interesting?
  16. Name a fic that made you cry (or that made you come close).
  17. Name a fic that made you laugh a lot.
  18. Do you have a fic recommendation page or master list?
  19. How many fics do you think you’ve read before?
  20. What’s the weirdest fic you’ve ever read? Describe it.
  21. Do you read crack!fic?
  22. Name a few of your favorite crack!fics.
  23. Has fluff ever made you cry? What about angst?
  24. What’s the longest fic you’ve ever read?
  25. What’s your opinion on reading dubious consent or no consent?
  26. Name a type of fic you’ll never ever read.
  27. Name a type of fic that you wish there was more of.
  28. Who are your favorite fanfiction author(s)?
  29. When you find an author you like, do you follow them?
  30. How often do you read fanfiction?
  31. Do people know that you read fanfiction?
  32. Do you leave reviews after reading fics? If so, what do they sound like?
  33. When you read a good fic, do you go to the author’s page?
  34. Name a common type of fic that you cannot stand.
  35. Name all the Work in Progress fics that you are currently reading.
  36. Has a fic ever left you unable to fall asleep or think about anything else?
  37. Are you good about keeping up when reading Work in Progresses?
  38. Name some of your favorite fic recommendations pages.
  39. Name a fanfiction author that you’re scared to talk to because they’re so amazing.
  40. Have you ever written fanfiction or considered it?
  41. Name a fic that has a perfect ending.
  42. Name a fic that you wish was longer.
  43. Do you read OT3 fics commonly? Have you ever?
  44. Do you mainly read TV shows, movies, or books?
  45. Do you read fanfiction about Anime?
  46. If you could imagine the perfect fic, what would it be like?
  47. If you had to introduce someone to fanfiction with a few fics, which would you suggest?
  48. Have you ever read a fic containing character death?
  49. Do you have an AO3/ page? Link it.
  50. What sites do you typically use to read on?

For @wtfmulder@perplexistan and @frangipanidownunder​ who so kindly encouraged me to emerge from lurking in the shadows and write this based on my 1 AM anon response to @wtfmulder​‘s ask prompt: where do Mulder and Scully get it on?. I’ve never written any X-Files fanfic before, so hopefully it’s not as awful and awkward as my brain insists on telling me it is 

“It’s a Halloween party, Scully. Not a funeral.”

Mulder is tipped back in his chair with his feet propped on the desk amongst various casefiles and his tongue working its way around a sunflower seed. His eyes rake over her black floor-length Victorian pinafore and his pouty lips twist into a teasing grin.

Scully scowls, her long puff sleeves swishing as she crosses her arms.

“For your information Mulder, this is a nearly exact replica of the dresses Marie Curie wore while conducting her groundbreaking scientific research on radiation, which led to her being the only person - male or female - to win a Nobel Prize in two different sciences, despite being denied access to higher education because she was a woman.”  

Mulder swings his legs off the desk and stands. He’s dressed head to toe in a black spandex bodysuit printed with the skeleton of the human body. Unlike the baggy pants of the early years of their partnership, this suit concealed nothing. Scully can see all of his, um, bones. Every single one. He crosses their cramped basement office to her and fingers the lacy ruffles of her high-necked smock.

“Don’t worry, Scully. I still think you look very cute.”

Scully keeps a face of neutral composure, determined not to let her quickening pulse betray her. She cocks her eyebrow and fixes her cool blue gaze upon him, giving him that look. She was already displeased at having to spend her first free Friday night in a month at the annual FBI Halloween party and his jokes are not helping.

She had barely contained her ire a few hours ago when Skinner announced that the party was now mandatory, as part of the Bureau’s new “Healthy Work/Life Balance” initiative. To be fair, Skinner was not overly thrilled with this new development either.

“If I have to go,” he’d said with an edged monotone that brooked no argument, “everyone has to go. No exceptions. I’ll see the two of you there in four hours.” He’d resignedly plopped a cowboy hat on his head with all the enthusiasm of being forced to attend a UFO convention with Mulder, “Yee haw.”

“A skeleton?” she shoots back. “Really, Mulder? How very spooky of you.”

“Not just any skeleton, Scully.” His boyish grin grows as he steps behind her to flip the light switch, plunging the office into darkness. “A glow in the dark one!”

She’s grateful for the newfound darkness that hides her begrudgingly amused smile and eye roll. The press of his hips into her backside and his sudden gravelly voice in the shell of her ear makes her heart jump and her cheeks burn.

“Wanna bone, Scully?”

Her stomach flutters in response to his offer and the closeness of his body. Licking her dry lips, she turns to face him, tilting her chin in defiance. Mulder knows this not because he can see her in the dim greenish glow of his suit, but by the warmth of her breath on the underside of his jaw.

“I dunno, Mulder,” she says in a low voice, her hand coming up to cradle his cheek. “With 206 of them, however will I choose?”

Scully brushes her thumb over the fine sandpaper of his jaw. “Should I go with the mandible?”

She can feel his Adam’s apple bob as she trails her hand down his neck, sweeping over his collarbone. “Or maybe the clavicle.”

Dragging her hands lightly down, “Sternum,” her fingertips pause over each bone as she goes. “Rib 1…2…3…4…” She can feel his heartbeat jackhammering in its cage, his chest rising shallowly because he’s forgotten how to breathe.

 “10…11…12…” Scully’s hand smooths over his waist before settling firmly on his hip. “Mulder, did you know that the pelvis has three different regions?”

Whatever breath he had left catches in his throat, his mouth too dry to make any sounds remotely resembling human language. He shakes his head in response, even though he knows she cannot see.

“The ilium.” She begins her descent over the curve of his hip. “The ischium.” Her hand sweeps up his groin to palm his barely concealed spandex bulge. “And the pubis.”

“Or perhaps,” Scully whispers, slowly sliding her hand through his quivering legs to press her fingers into his tailbone, “the coccyx.”

At her emphasis on that penultimate syllable, a strangled whimper drops from his lips.

“Hey Mulder,” Scully asks, her hand still between his legs. “You want to know the biggest difference between Marie Curie and me?”

The upward press and subsequent pause of her hand and forearm into his groin intonates that she expects a response from him. Mulder swallows hard, trying to wet his throat enough to form a coherent response.

“…uh yeah?” he asks weakly, unable to control the shaking timbre of his voice.

Reversing the path her hand traveled, trailing it back over his crotch and upward, Scully leans into Mulder’s broad chest and rests her smooth cheek against his stubbled one, her lips curving into devious smile an inch from his ear.

“Marie Curie wore underwear under her dress.”

She turns sharply on the heel of her black lace-up boots and exits the office, leaving a certain spooky skeleton speechless in the dark, bones glowing.