im... sorry..

u know what

in all this

nonsense

(and i mean that in an amused and loving way mostly)

we have neglected neglected to talk about the classic robron moments of 2014 - 2017

i just don’t feel like we’ve spent enough time recently discussing robert and aaron being soft and cute with one another and by we i am referring to me exclusively and also everyone else who has neglected to come @ me with the soft and cute ur all complicit an d im calling u all out

and also im in a feelings mood so

LETS TALK ABOUT RANDOM SOFT TM ROBRON MOMENTS:

  • RMR WHEN THEY WERE LYING AROUND HOME FARM AND THEY WENT BOOP WITH THEIR NOSES
  • AARON WAS ON THE PHONE TO EMILLE AND ROB WAS LIKE THIS MAN SPEAKS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FRENCH HOW AM I SO LUCKY EVEN THOUGH AARON’S FRENCH HURTS MY EARS

  • THEY ARGUED ABOUT WHETHER TO PUT HANDLES ON THEIR NEW DRAWERS PROBABLY LESS BECAUSE AARON ACTUALLY CARED AND MORE BC AARON JUST ENJOYS WINDING ROBERT UP 

  • ONE TIME ROB CONVINCED AARON TO HAVE ~FOOD OUTSIDE~~~ EVEN THO THEY WEREN’T ALLOWED TO CALL IT A PICNIC, PURELY BC AARON WAS FEELING FRAGILE AND NOT IN A GOOD PLACE 

  • AND THE REMINISCED ABOUT THEIR WEDDING NIGHT AND IT CHEERED AARON UP SO MUCH THAT HE SPENT THE WHOLE PICNIC SMILING AND ACTING MORE LIKE HIMSELF THAN HE HAD SINCE HE HAD GOTTEN OUT OF PRISON

  • AND THEN AARON LURED ROBERT AWAY FROM THE PICNIC WITH THE PROMISE OF SEX AND STOLE ROBERT’S CLOTHES BC HE IS A LITERAL WIND UP A LITERAL WIND UP AND ALSO HE TOTALLY JUST WANTED TO GET ROBERT INTO HIS CLOTHES

  • ALSO AROUND THAT TIME ROBERT LEGIT REFUSED TO LET AARON GO RUNNING BY HIMSELF AND SO DECIDED TO GO RUNNING WITH AARON EVEN THOUGH HE’S HORRIBLE AT RUNNING AND AARON ENDED UP SPENDING THE WHOLE TIME LAUGHING AT ROBERT’S LACK OF STAMINA AT THIS NOT OTHER THINGS BLESS AND IT WAS PURE AND GOOD

  • OK REMEMBER WHEN THEY WERE LITERALLY AT A FUNERAL AND AARON COULDN’T STOP HIMSELF FROM TELLING ROBERT, IN THE MOST AARON-LIKE WAY POSSIBLE, THAT HE WANTED TO SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE WITH HIM

  • WHICH ROBERT INSTANTLY JOKED ABOUT BC HE’S AN IDIOT BUT ALSO BC HE ALREADY KNEW

  • REMEMBER WHEN ROBERT PLANNED AN ENTIRE SURPRISE WEDDING FOR AARON AND THEN IT DIDN’T GO THE WAY HE WANTED SO ROBERT WALKED OFF AND AARON LITERALLY CHASED HIM DOWN AND TOLD HIM THAT IT DIDN’T MATTER, THAT ANY WEDDING ROBERT COULD PLAN WOULD BE PERFECT BC IT MEANT THAT AARON WOULD GET TO MARRY THE LOHL AND GENTLY TALKED ROBERT DOWN AND SAVED THE WEDDING

  • RMR WHEN!!! ROBERT LITERALLY GAVE!!! HIS LAST GOD DAMN BREATH!!!!!! TO AARON!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN THEY WERE BOTH DROWNING IN THAT STUPID CAR!!!!

  • LETS TALK ABOUT THAT MOMENT, AFTER ROBERT SPENT A DISGUSTING AMOUNT OF MONEY TRACKING DOWN SANDRA IN AN ATTEMPT TO HELP AARON’S CASE BC ALL HE WANTED WAS FOR AARON TO GET JUSTICE, AND THEN INVITED HIMSELF ALONG WITH AARON TO GO SEE SANDRA BC AARON DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO DO IT ON HIS OWN (DELETED SCENES ARE CANON AND WE ALL KNOW IT) AND AARON KNEW KNEW THAT HAVING ROBERT’S SUPPORT DURING THAT TIME WAS ONE OF THE BIGGEST AND MOST VALUABLE THINGS TO HIM - AND HE KNEW THAT HE WANTED THAT PRESENCE IN HIS LIFE FOREVER

  • AND ROBERT STILL DIDN’T KISS HIM - NOT BC HE DIDN’T WANT HIM BC OH MY GOD HE HAS NEVER WANTED A PERSON MORE - BUT BC HE JUST??? KNEW THEY’D SCREWED THINGS UP (ROBERT HAD SCREWED THINGS UP) SO MANY TIMES AND IF THEY WERE GOING TO REALLY DO IT, REALLY BE IN A RELATIONSHIP, THEN THEY WERE GOING TO DO IT RIGHT AND THEY HAD ONE OF THE MOST OPENLY HONEST CONVERSATIONS ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS WITH ONE ANOTHER THAT THEY’D EVER HAD UP TO THAT POINT - EVEN THOUGH THEY BOTH KNEW, THEY COULD FEEL, DEEP DOWN THAT THEY WERE ON THE SAME PAGE AND THAT THIS WAS FOR LIFE

  • AND REMEMBER!!!! WHEN THEY DID FINALLY GET TOGETHER!!!!!!! AND THEY WERE, FOR THE FIRST TIME, AN ACTUAL COUPLE - EVEN THOUGH THEY’D BASICALLY BEEN EMOTIONALLY COMMITTED TO ONE ANOTHER FOR MONTHS ALREADY. REMEMBER ROBERT WALKING INTO THE BACK ROOM WHERE AARON WAS DRINKING HIS BEER AND AARON JUST SMILING AND TELLING ROBERT TO HANG AROUND BC AARON LIKES ROBERT’S PRESENCE

  • AND THEN AARON TAKING A SIP OF THE WHISKEY AND PULLING A FACE AND ROBERT SMILING SO! FUCKING! FONDLY! AT HIM

  • OH HEY OH MY GOD LETS TALK ABOUT AARON WANTING TO ASK ROBERT TO MOVE IN WITH HIM AND LITERALLY SITTING IN THE BACK ROOM OF THE PUB PRACTICING HOW TO SAY IT

  • AND THEN BEING DISTRACTED IMMEDIATELY BY ROBERT WALKING IN, STALKING UP TO HIM AND TELLING HIM TO GET HIS KIT OFF

  • WHICH

  • FAIR

  • ALSO OK THEY GOT MARRIED AND AARON - AARON WHO WOULD NEVER BE CAUGHT DANCING NOT IN A MILLION YEARS DINGLE - FUCKIN SLOW DANCED WITH HIS HUSBAND TO ADELE BC THAT’S WHAT U DO WHEN U MARRY THE LOVE OF UR LIFE AND UR HAPPY

  • REMEMBER THE FIRST CHRISTMAS AFTER THEY MET, WHEN AARON WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD FAITH IN THE EXISTENCE OF THAT PART OF ROBERT THAT IS GOOD AND DECENT (HOWEVER SMALL OR NARROWLY FOCUSED IT USUALLY IS) 

  • GOD DAMN IT REMEMBER HOW THEY LITERALLY FLIPPED A COIN TO DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO GET MARRIED IN VEGAS BC HONESTLY????? THEY LITERALLY JUST WANTED TO BE MARRIED

  • WHAT ABOUT EVERY STUPID FUCKING THING THEY’VE DONE IN THE NAME OF PROTECTING ONE ANOTHER - KIDNAPPING RYAN, KIDNAPPING LACHLAN, LYING TO POLICE, TO DOCTORS, TO EVERYONE

  • OK AND ROBERT, SITTING IN THE HOSPITAL, FUCKING DISTRAUGHT BECAUSE AARON IS LYING UNCONSCIOUS IN A BED AND ROBERT DIDN’T EVEN GET TO RIDE IN THE AMBULANCE WITH HIM

  • LIKE

  • LITERALLY SITTING THERE SAYING “I WASTED SO MUCH TIME” BECAUSE HE DID AND REGRETTING EVERY MOMENT HE DIDN’T SPEND NEXT TO AARON - INCLUDING SITTING IN THAT FUCKING AMBULANCE HOLDING HIS HAND

  • OH MY GOD THEY’RE SO IN LOVE 

This morning, Isak was grumpy. Ok, he usually was in the morning - because who the fuck even invented waking up??? It just sucks and he needs a good dosage of caffeine, hair strokes by a certain giraffe and frowns until he starts to transition into a somewhat functioning human being - today though, today was just … no. 

At exactly 6:58 a loud noise startled him awake. Their neighbors decided it was the perfect time to hammer something into the wall they have their bed against. Great. The next thing he knew, was that the construction side across from them had a field day with their metal cutter thing. So, in unrhythmic intervals there was a shrill and awful sound. Not enough with that though, no-hoho. You know what was empty? The fucking coffee box that’s supposed to be filled with - you guessed it - coffee.

Isak stared for one or two seconds into the empty box while his brain tried to process this hardship. 

“What the fuck, Even?!” Isak shoved the box away from him and turned around to his boyfriend, who blew gingerly on his mug of green tea. Even raised his eyebrows and pulled his lips in. “What’s up, baby?” 

Isak huffed, it was pretty obvious what was up, wasn’t it? Everything sucked, that’s what’s up for fucks sake. “We’re out of fucking coffee!” Isak explained, lifting one hand offendedly and letting it fall slack against his side again. 

“Hmm.” Even hummed and nodded. He knew better than to point out that Isak was the one who’s responsible to buy new coffee. 

Isak stood in the middle of their small kitchen, scowling at the world with everything he got, eyes still small from sleep, hair standing in every direction, shirt crinkled and with a pillow imprint on his face. Even also knew better than to point out that he looked especially cute like this. He put his green tea down on the counter he was leaning against and went over to his raging and exhausted boy. 

“That’s shit.” Even cooed, pulling him in by the waist and then wrapping his long arms around him. 

“Ja!” Isak agreed in another huff - because fuck yes, it was - his arms still limb at his sides, his head resting snuggly against Even’s neck.

Even swayed them slightly from side to side and (when he felt safe enough to do so) placed a few tiny kisses on Isak’s forehead, who’s eyes closed again at the coziness of it. 

“Ugh.” He murmured into the fabric of Even’s shirt. 

“Hm?”

“You’re too warm. You’re too cozy, ugh, go away.” Even laughed quietly at that and Isak made no move to actually put distance between them. Even took Isak’s face in his hands and kissed him on both cheeks before he took a step back. Isak’s frown returned at that, even if not as forceful as before. 

“How about we get some coffee on the way to school for you? And I’ll bring the good stuff home with me from KB for tomorrow, hm?” 

Isak nodded, still pouting though. Because ugh. Even pursed his lips to the side to suppress a smile and raised his brows with a flirty head tilt. 

“And how about, we go to the shower, get you ready for school and make this day,” He stepped forward again, placed his hands on Isak’s hips, wiggling his brows suggestively, “suck some more?” 

Even - incredibly proud of his stupid pun - grinned, placing his forehead against Isak’s. His grin was all twinkly eyed and crinkly and infectious - and well the plan did sound pretty nice - so, Isak felt one side of lips lift up. 

Even gasped, playfully shoving at Isak’s hips and pulling him back in immediately. “Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?” Isak rolled his eyes, (because really, what. a. dork.) but his smile became a little bigger anyway. 




—–

This was a prompt from my lovely @evenshands for that prompt-game (they chose 40: “Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?”) but i managed to delete the ask … bc im a mess today :’) 

macrocosmonaut  asked:

Who's your favourite D&D NPC?

im typing this part after getting really excited about an npc i made up for dnd and im like… sorry i got so into this answer lmao.

the adventuring guild my players joined has a counter girl named Wendy (i name a lot of NPCs after restaurants) that is a contracted demon who appears when you ring the bell at the counter.

when the players have some business at the guild, i explain that there is a counter and several kiosks, but nobody attending any of them. I tell the players that there is a small bell on the counter, though. I wait until one of them says they ring the bell, and even though they’ve gone through the process several times it usually takes a few moments. Here are my DM notes from the first time she showed up.

With a flash and a poof of sulfur scented smoke a dark haired and broody woman wearing some sort of bellhop outfit appears behind the counter. In an low monotone she says “Hello and welcome to the trade quarter branch of the adventurer’s guild my name is Wendy if you are here to file an official request please fill out form two-dash-three-B available at the kiosk to your left.” She motions to a neat stack of papers at the kiosk to your left “thank you for your patronage have-” she winces a little as she forces an unnatural and unsettling smile, “an adventurous day.” and disappears with another puff of smoke. Not far behind where she was just standing, through an open you can see her now working at a small desk with her propping herself up on one hand as she fills out paperwork with the other.

Whenever they ring the bell again i read from the top of her monologue until one of them stops me and she’ll go “oh its you.”

There are lots of instances where the players have tried getting to know her or get useful information out of her and she doesn’t engage them how they want. The player who usually acts as the party lead asked her if anything had happened in recent years that would cause concern (her character had been away for several years) and she mentioned she got a new hat for her uniform. When the horniest party member asked her what kind of hat it was (this was her characters attempt at chatting her up) she looked at him as though he was a complete moron and said “I just said… it was a new hat.”

anyway the players liked her so much some of them drew her and it was cute but since its not polished art im sure they wouldn’t want me to show you.

I kinda dweebed out about this but you should like… love every NPC you make.

Time for me to put my post-epilogue headcanons about Vox Machina out there:

Perc'ahlia
⦁ They move to their permanent home in Whitestone, allowing Percy to begin constructing his clock tower and work with Cassandra to run the city.
⦁ Vex spends a lot of her time fixing up Vax’s shrine to the Raven Queen there. She also works with the treasury and diplomacy there. She sets up an established trade route connecting Whitestone to Syngorn, Ank'harel, Emon, and Deastok.
⦁ They have a formal wedding, to which everyone they have ever known and loved are invited. Vex wears a beautiful white dress and a raven’s feather between her two blue ones. Percival watches his wife walk down the aisle like they were first falling in love.
⦁ They spend each anniversary of the defeat of Vecna and Vax’s death in the woods, sitting on the bench Pike made, watching the moon and discussing stories about Vax and the early years of Vox Machina.
⦁ Soon after their official wedding, Vex discovers that she is pregnant. Everyone else seems to know before she does: “Vex, you seem to have been under the weather for a few days, are you alright?” with a knowing look from Cassandra. “Vex, you must be hungry!” with a happy  laugh from Pike hosting the de Rolos for dinner. Even the servants start skirting around her, discretely clearing one of the smaller rooms near Percy and Vex’s in the castle.
⦁ Their first child is born on a brisk winter morning after a long night. Casters from across Whitestone are brought in to send messages to all of their closest friends to announce the birth of Vesper Elaina von Musel Klossowski de Rolo I, heir to Whitestone.
⦁ Following Vesper, Vex and Percy have five more children: Vax'ildan Julius, Percival IV, Whitney Johanna, Oliver Ludwig, and Cassandra Velora.

Pikelan
⦁ They move into Wilhand’s old home once he dies and adds on rooms and a basement  to accommodate J.B., Grog, and, when she’s home from school, Kaylee.
⦁ Despite what anyone expects, Grog is the perfect roommate: always out, never needing too much privacy, never brings back dates (mostly because he doesn’t have them), accommodating to everyone, a great host, and eventually a wonderful babysitter.
⦁ It’s Kaylee that’s the disaster roommate. She’s a teenager living with her dad, his girlfriend, her brother and cousin. It’s the worst. They love her but she trashes her room, has friends and lovers over, never cooks or cleans, and has such a fiery temper that whenever she is asked to do these things, she either ignores that who asked or is aggressive about it.
⦁ After living together for a couple of years, Pike proposes. Grog carries Scanlan down the aisle. We know this all from the episode. Grog cries at the wedding more than anyone else. Also, instead of Pike taking Scanlan’s surname or vice versa, they change their surname to a mash-up name - Trickhalt.
⦁ Three years later, on Scanlan’s 75th birthday, Pike brings their daughter, Juniper into the world. She’s pink with curly black hair and bright blue eyes. Kaylee smiles at her half-sister and jokes that she doesn’t look a bit like either of them. She does, of course, but Kaylee is just a little stink. Grog goes out to wet her head and ends up writing letters to Whitestone and Zephyra. His childish writing is only worsened by his excitement, but the letters are sent and within a few days the de Rolos and Keyleth are in Westruun to welcome little Juniper Trickhalt.
⦁ When Juniper is six, a little boy is born into the Trickhalt clan: Wilhand Phillip. Grog has never been more touched, not even when Juni first asks him to read to her because he “does the voices better than Mommy or Daddy”. Wilhand Phillip has dark skin, dark brown hair, and big blue eyes like his sister.
⦁ When Wilhand and Juni are in their teens, Pike discovers a tiny boy with black skin, little white tufts of hair, and minuscule horns on the steps to Sarenrae’s temple. She takes him home and eventually she and Scanlan officially adopt him, naming him Kingsley.

Zahrash
⦁ They visit Whitestone all through Zahra’s pregnancy and even after. Due to poor timing and a hasty entry into this world, their son is born in Whitestone while they’re visiting the de Rolos.
⦁ He is born red, with a long slender tail, fuzzy white hair and amber eyes. At his birth, Kashaw feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see a shadowy figure. Vesh looks down at him and the boy and contemplates them quietly before vanishing. Kashaw never has nightmares about her again.
⦁ They spend their life between Whitestone and Vasselheim, between the de Rolo home and the Slayer’s Take and their son wants for nothing. He’s raised on books from the Whitestone castle’s library and stories of the sphinx, but despite all of that he really prefers to fight physically, not mentally and becomes a rogue.
⦁ Daniel Hydris loves his parents dearly, but like Kaylee Shorthalt, feels as though he is too cool to be seen around his overprotective dad and “cool” mom. He spends a lot of his time with his Aunt Vex learning about being sneaky and what the man he’s named after used to do as a rogue.
⦁ They continue to work as mercenaries for the Slayer’s Take, but only when they’re not having to deal with Dan’s teachers and his mistakes. He gets into a lot of trouble, and while Zahra doesn’t mind his actions too much, she hates having to take the time to go confront his tutors. Kash, on the other hand, scolds Dan within an inch of his life about being mischievous. He prefers to deal with those accusing his son than go out of quests.
⦁ Now that Vesh no longer hovers over him, Kash continues his clerical duties, but feels more as if he is thanking her for releasing him from their bonds of marriage than refuting her every move.

Keyleth
⦁ She serves as the Voice of the Tempest, guiding young druids from the other sects of the Ashari along their Aramentes. She takes them into the plane of air and has them battle air elementals. Despite her charismatic failures, she serves as a wonderful guide as her Aramente has been so recent.
⦁ Keyleth waits many years before falling in love again, but one day, at Cassandra Velora’s debutante ball for her coming of age, Keyleth meets a young elvish man with kind eyes and short blonde hair. At first she feels guilty about being happy with him, but when Vex sees them together and smiles to Keyleth, she takes it as a sign that it has been long enough since Vax left her life and that she has the right to be happy again. A raven later lands on her as she sits on his bench and then flits off into the moonlight, telling her that she is free to do as she wishes.
⦁ After many years of courting this man, she decides to wed. Korrin is so excited to see his daughter joyful again and to get to walk his only child down the aisle after so long. A conspiracy of ravens alight on a tree above the ceremony, but so caught up in her vows, Keyleth hardly notices. Its what Vax would have wanted. As she says “I do”, the ravens fly off.
⦁ She never can forget Vax, but she is happy with her husband and they have three precious quarter human kids: Vilya, Kerrek, and Luna, all of whom become powerful druids who each complete an Aramente and become headmasters in their own right, giving Keyleth the time to settle down properly without having to lead a people.
⦁ Keyleth also plays a very important role in Cassandra Velora’s life, teaching her to be strong druid. Keyleth teaches her to grow plants and polymorph. Cassandra Velora spends a lot of time as a bear playing with her brother, Trinket.

Grog
⦁ Along with spending time learning to read and living with the Trickhalts, Grog spends years under the tutelage of Earthbreaker Groon, eventually taking a few ranks in monk, learning patience.
⦁ This helps immensely when his beloved nieces and nephews get older and insufferable. The de Rolos, just like their parents, are mostly snarky know-it-alls. The Trickhalts, though sweet like their mother, are also silly pranksters like their father. Vax may have been the first to shave off Grog’s beard, but he certainly wasn’t the last. Keyleth’s kids are kind and loving, but they tend to have a hard time understanding him. Dan Hydris is the worst of them all. He has nothing against Grog and quite likes to spar with him, but is too “cool” to spend time with his aunts and uncles.
⦁ When the kids are little, Grog reads to them, and as I said before, he does the voices the best. He often teaches most of the kids to write, at first at least. Uncle Grog is most loved because he can never deny them anything. When the Trickhalt home begins to fill up with little gnomes (and a tiefling) and J.B. and Kaylee comes home from school to stay, Grog moves out to Greyskull Keep.
⦁ So when the kids of VM get frustrated with their parents, they run off to Greyskull to pout with Uncle Grog, and he loves them so much. They go out to get dinner and dessert and they spar. Keyleth’s kids spend time in the gardens, making Greyskull beautiful. The Trickhalts spend time in the Sarenrae temple praying and playing music. A couple of the de Rolos spend time in Percy’s old workshop while the others spend time in various places in the Keep. Grog quietly keeps the kids out of their parents’ old room because how could that go well.
⦁ While the kids spend time with Uncle Grog, the rest of VM goes on adventures – Grog has had enough of adventuring and, having no (known and/or legitimate) kids of his own, he loves spending as much time with them as possible, especially as he has plenty of time to adventure on his own.