College Things

- The guy in front of you in class is shopping for a charcoal grill on ebay. why. sir. we have a test next week. 

- Squirrels just….have no fear. None. Only on college campuses though. Are they okay? 

- Finding condoms, packaged and not, in various places. 9 times out of 10, if there’s something inside, it’s not what the condom is supposed to have inside of it. 

- Water balloon condoms. See above. 

- That one guy who wears the same hat every day and you see him every day and you don’t understand why he’s so attached to this hat what is he hiding 

- *single flake of snow appears* “Maybe campus will shut down tomorrow.”

- Campus doesn’t shut down. There’s three feet of snow and the wind chill is below zero. 

- That one corner of the library basement that no one goes to. It smells old and there’s probably a ghost there. 

- When you’re a pedestrian, you hate the cyclists. When you’re on a bicycle, you want nothing more than to run every single person over. 

- You see someone violently acting out a music video with their headphones in. You leave them alone because you were doing the same thing thirty minutes ago.  You hope it goes well for them. 

- Theater majors. Just…theater majors. 

- do the science kids???? ever leave the science buildings???? where do they sleep? 

- There’s a dog. It’s surrounded in seconds by over-caffeinated, under-hydrated students who haven’t slept in three days. 

- you find articles of clothing in really weird places and just. stop caring. glove in a tree? Cool man. Sock on the street? Hope no one needed that. Pants on the stairs of the dorm? Use a condom bro. 

- The dorm lobby television only ever plays sports, news, or The Food Network. No one is ever actually watching what’s on. 

- how are the art students even alive 

- that one professor that EVERYONE on campus knows, even if they have a completely different major than what they teach. 

- there’s a class. you know you had it. you know you have a grade for it. you can’t remember a single second of your time in it. 

- Where did that cat come from? No one knows. It’s always been there. You can’t pet it. Only stare from afar. 

- what is tipping? how does it work? idk tip the pizza guy five bucks for the ten dollar pizza. he looks tired. he’s dying on the inside. he saw a guy naked tonight. 

- Inevitable “pinned condom on the bulletin board goes missing” gag

- Your whiteboard markers are missing again. You put them out yesterday. 

- someone stole an entire skeleton from the science buildings. it got returned a week later without the skull. 

- Vocalist majors. Almost as bad as the theater majors. At least the theater kids don’t sing during breakfast. 

- there’s a piano in the student lounge. no one can play anything but Chopsticks and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. 

- your garbage is four feet tall and has been there for two weeks. you add more to the top. you took the recycling out yesterday.

okay what if like, allura’s bathroom is 10x more fancy than the paladins’ bathrooms (assuming they each have one attached to their rooms)

and pidge is the first one to discover this, because allura insists the two of them have a girls only slumber party with the mice in her room one night, and the next day pidge can’t help but tell hunk about it

and she’s like “yeah, no seriously !! there’s like a tv in there and a foot massage thingy right in front of the throne!! and like every product you can think of in this massive walk in closet!!” and hunk is like “woahh no way” and lance and keith just happen to be walking by play fighting or some shit, and they overhear this and straighten up and they’re like “what, no way, you’re making that up” and pidge is like “why would i make this up ??? it’s true !! AND she’s got a little bathtub for the mice on the window seat !!“ and the boys are like “wow :O” but then pidge frowns and is like “but for real guys it’s Off Limits okay, i don’t think i was even supposed to tell you about it, so don’t get any ridiculous teenage boy ideas in your heads >:/”

and lance is like “whaaat i don’t even know what you’re talking about pidge ??? anyway hm sounds nice” and hunk is like “yeah” and keith is like “good for her”

but then. of course hunk lance and keith have got to see it for themselves

and so once allura has gone out, they each decide to sneak in to her fancy bathroom, but they ALL end up sneaking in at once and are like so angry and disappointed and start arguing until hunk is like “okay okay we got this far, we’re in her room, we might as well see what it looks like before we leave”

and lance and keith are like “aight”

but then when they open the door. their jaws just like. hit the floor.

it’s GORGEOUS, like a one person spa, and the tv !! has video games !! and there are so many products in allura’s closet, it’s like a space bath and body works !! and her fuckin tub is like a glittery pink jacuzzi !! and they all just kinda look at each other and next thing you know, lance is going through every lotion and perfume and hair product in the closet and hunk and keith are sitting on the jacuzzi edge playing video games, wrapped up in warm, fluffy lavender towels (because okay at one point keith fell in and hunk started laughing so keith pulled him in with him, and then lance found the towels and tossed them to them) and they’re havin a BLAST lol

at least. until allura comes home

and pidge just sighs and starts writing their eulogies

i hate to say this but. pls don’t claim to have any sort of ability to critically analyze media if you are actually automatically writing off johnlock/macdennis as not happening now. you can claim it’s insensitive and cruel for moftiss/rcg to be pulling this on us all you want but in the end they’re simply writing a typical romance arc, we just happen to be in the falling action stage, which contains a false defeat, and will eventually be rewarded with a victory in the denouement. and yeah it sucks that it’s taking so long and that a slow burn het romance wouldn’t be so drawn out but also if it was a het romance none of y’all would be questioning its inevitability, so