im-think-im-dead-right-now

2

ENOUGH

The Trojan War & @wolfpupy tweets

Paris : it may have been a controversial decision but i dare any one who disagrees with me to go away and not talk to me about it

Helen : one of these days i will float up off into damn space and no one can stop me, not even gravity or nasa

Hector : the best way to solve problems is to create more problems until you are dead

Odysseus : instead of saying what you are all thinking i say what everyone would be thinking if they were as cerebrally intelligent as me

Achilles : im well aware that ive accidently set myself on fire and its none of your business. i dont need your pity water either. let me burn in peace

Patroclus : hey kids, i know youre struggling right now but im here to tell you, everything gets worse forever

Menelaus : everyone who died or was killed on my quest to get really good hair and fashion sense deserved it and i dont care

Agamemnon : i give a voice to the people that you can never hear from because i am talking so loudly over the top of whatever they are saying

I had figured out the only person ive ever loved was my best friend In high school. She was everything to me. I loved her so deeply. I would say “wow, I cant wait to find a guy I love this much” no one in my life ever said “what your feeling for her is real love” all I got was “well theres best friend love and theres love.” But my examples of love were shit. So I was like “oh well I guess youre right.” I went on with my life,started sleeping with guys, cuz thats what im suppose to do right. And if a guy sleeps with me that means im attractive and worthy. but basically every sexual encounter ive had with a man I was completely smashed and felt dead inside. I ended up pregnant twice (and now have two beautiful children at the age of 25.) I began to think whats wrong with me why do my relationships (with men) always suck. Is it me? Whats wrong with me? Am I incappable of loving someone? It took me a long time but I figured it out,I am capable ive just being looking for something in the wrong place this whole time. It was right there infront of me my sophmore year of highschool, the most beautiful person inside and out.
Me and my friend no longer talk for multiple reasons but a big one was when I told her that I dont like men, I like women. Her response was “well see how long that lasts” she broke my heart when she said that. I wanted to yell in her face. “Ive been in love with you since highschool ya jerk! Like madly in love.the type of love where I’d die for you!!” We’ve gone our seprate ways and it still hurts but im so thankful for her. Because of her I know I can love deeply if its the right WOMAN. I picture my wedding day and its not a man up there with me its a beautiful woman .I wont be dating anytime soon seeing as I live with my very homophobic father but I look forward to doing so and actually feeling something for the first time in forever.

anonymous asked:

could u rec some good podcasts pls??

god this question makes me wish i listened to more obscure podcasts

anyway, right now i’m listening to:

welcome to night vale - self explanatory probably. i just got caught up after being literally two years behind. nice.

alice isn’t dead - i love this surrealistic road trip lesbian

the orbiting human circus - i don’t love this one bc sometimes i think it crosses that line from funny to mean, but it has its gems and im attached to all the characters at this point. it’s about a radio show on the eiffel tower and the janitor who just wants to be a part of it

within the wires - im not very far in this one, but it’s soooo relaxing while having like this sort of creeping horror to it. i love listening to it while im in bed and doing all the breathing exercises

the bridge - it took me a little while to get into this one just because im. super picky when it comes to narrators. BUT. the story is really cool, about these people who work for the watch towers along the transcontinental bridge, which crosses the atlantic ocean. 

the bright sessions - i’ve only listened to the first episode, but it’s about a therapist who provides sessions for people with super powers

el gran apagon - this is in spanish and it hasn’t been updated in SO LONG which makes me so sad but it’s about a solar storm in the future that was so strong it left the world in complete darkness

Got7 Reaction To- Finding Out You Can Rap

Requested. Yup. 

Masterlist

Mark- he would be SO turned on and have that cute smile on his face and would do that squeal laugh thing he does and be so happy like proud he would pull you on his lap and tell you that you could only rap for him cause it’s too sexy and yeah okay im dead now writing these.

Jaebum- Motherfucker. He would get that stony look on his face and then grin cause of how sexy he thinks it is that you can rap. He would want to kiss you and do bad things that involve your mouth YOU KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT OKAY.

Jackson- he would think it was so cool and would want to have a rap battle with you right there cause that’s just how the man child is okay.

Jinyoung- smug mother fucker would be so smug and so low-key turned on and if any of the other boys tried to tease you about he would kill them cause he’s a savage don’t lie.

Youngjae- He would be SO DAMN HAPPY AND JOYOUS he would compliment you so hard and want to show you off to everyone.

BamBam- Little shit he would make some dirty comment about your mouth and then laugh and be like ‘you’re really good! We should duet together. Get it? Duet? Like do it?” (guys im sorry i can’t help myself)

Yugyeom- he would be so in awe of you. Like it would come out of nowhere and he wouldn’t be expecting it AT ALL and he would smile really big and tell you how amazing you are awwwe my tiny baby i love him.

okay so now im sort of laughing about bucky cap. help. as far as im concerned they wouldn’t give bucky the shield and the captain america title if they didn’t think they could control him. well jokes on him because he is just as hard to control as steve is and, with steve dead, even less likely to do exactly what he’s told.

captain america turns up in full uniform at a gay right / black lives matter / pro-planned parenthood / pro-immigrant/ anti-border ban/every other rally bucky believes in

nothing to do this week? WRONG. there’s a mass case of police brutality that he’s going to address.

when you say “dont go to the big shit storm that’s happening over across native american burial grounds what you REALLY mean is that captain america is going to turn up and see if they can stop HIM from stopping them

he’d be at refugee camps before anyone can stop him, with enough food and water to feed an army. 

he’d spend most of his time slamming down T.rump

jesus christ looking at photos from when i was homeless makes me both want to fucking cry and also be hella happy?? like i was sickly looking. id lost so much fucking weight and that isn’t my body type. i dont think i even realized how bad it was until i showed zeek old photos and he said i looked dead. and i mean i was going days without eating and i smoked and drank so fucking much. it was such a dark period for me.
but it also makes me happy because god damn i may not be perfectly happy with where i an right now but anything’s better than that. i at least eat every day for the most part. and i only get drunk maybe once a month. i look a lot healthier.

im not sure why im posting this but i feel like it’s for me. so leigh, my buddy, my dude, my guy, don’t let yourself get that bad again. i know it wasn’t 100% by choice, but i also know you still starve yourself from time to time because you miss how you looked then. and i know if you had the choice you’d be drunk every night of the week. so please, please don’t do that shit. right now youre thinking clear enough to write this but god knows how long that’ll last. so please just fucking take care of yourself. please. you didnt look better then. you looked sick. it was bad. please

Re: Lynching photoset

I really hate that lynchings photoset (also there used to be an Emmett Till one, which is just n o). It comes through a few times a year and it is a horrible, disgusting display of sanctioned hatred put upon Black Bodies.

I personally disagree with the whole “Post this because its horrible and people need to see it.” I don’t think it helps, I don’t think its useful in any way but re-normalizing the extensive violence put on Black Bodies in a medium that just loves shock-value that desensitizes and sensationalizes mutilation of Black people.

Tags are good. Not for those on mobile, however. I just want people to think a little further before re-posting damn lynch photosets, because those are real people who were tortured and killed and then their mutilation was celebrated in public and it was okay. People had picnics around those bodies. People brought their kids to see Black people burn.

They deserve dignity they were not afforded. And reblogging that photoset is not giving it to them, and it certainly isn’t “helping” some wayward racist.

I’m very against our deaths being for any sort of public consumption or teaching. Our bodies are not for teaching racists or whiteness (which includes those born into it and those afforded some level of it) at large, and it should not be put on them after so much evil was put upon them.

lets talk about more otp supernatural prompts bc im in such a halloween mood today

  • “i am a vampire chilling in a coffin underground bc i dont know how else to live my life now that im technically dead and ive seen movies where vampires go on killing sprees so maybe if im 6 feet under with no way out i cant harm someone or becoming a killing machine so yeah this is gonna be my life now and but good thing i brought some books idk how much that will hold me off but ill deal and what the fuck who is digging me up i hear and smell them, oh they are totally grave robbers shit wait pRETEND TO BE DEAD like for real dead, cant be that hard right? wow i think im getting away with it, ha! suckers- waiT NO GIVE ME THAT FUCKING BOOK BACK YOU MOTHERFUCKER THATS ALL I HAVE TO KEEP ME ALIVE IN MY DEAD SOUL GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT I WANT MY BOOK OR ILL COMMIT MY FIRST MURDER AND IT WILL BE YOU”
  • “im a ghost that got attached to a human and now i look after them all the time without them actually knowing, and make it seem like they have good luck when really its just me helping, and if they lose stuff i find it for them and put it somewhere its easy for them to see, and at night when they sleep i make sure they are tucked in and if they leave their lights or the tv on after falling alseep ill shut it off for them, and the things i do are small and things they or anyone else will really notice or get suspicious about but this one time they were driving and they weren’t paying attention and they almost got hit by a truck but i swerved the wheel and they got really freaked out bc they know they didn’t do it and all my times of keeping my actions on the DL has gone out the window bc now they are doing all this research, piecing everything together and i think they’re going to find out they have a casper the friendly ghost shit idk how to feel about this”
  • “you’re a witch/warlock from the 18th century that came back from the dead…. bc of me… im a very inexperienced witch/warlock im sorry and honestly i didn’t even think it would work i was just hoping to talk to you in spirit for a minute or two for a research paper in history about the times where you were alive and i thought it could get an easy A bc i desperately needed it to pass but i messed up the spell and you are here in the flesh, very confused and very angry bc now i dont know how to send you back and i have to take care of you and teach you how to live in modern times until i can find a way to fix this and no that is a caR DO NOT BLOW IT UP NO IT IS NOT SATANS CHARRIET OF HELL THAT HAS COME TO TAKE YOU PLS STAY CALM”
  • “im a human who got on the mysterious halloween town bus bc i’ve seen it always come on halloween night across my street since i was little and everytime i wake up the bus sign is gone and im sick and tired of wondering, im seeing what the fuck this is about and wow people have some seriously good costumes on this thing they look real- aND WHAT TEHF CUK ARE WE FLYIGN??????? WHA T TE FUCK IS HAPPENING RN OH MGY OD HLEP ME WAIT WE LANDED AND WHERE ARE WE IS THAT A GIGANTIC PUMPKIN??? HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THIS PLACE IM TERRFIED, THESE ARE ALL NOT COSTIMES OH SHIT I THINK IM TRIPPIN RN FUCK THERES NO WIFI OR SIGNALS HERE I CANT CALL OR TEXT ANYONE TO GET ME, IM SO HELPLESS AND - ..ok this place is actually really cool and these ‘creatures’ are rlly nice and friendly um wow and oh hello back too you stranger u look human- oh you’re asking if i am human?? ha nooo??? ok you are seeing right through me rn im pretty sure either im a shitty liar or you can read minds or something yes im in the wrong place and i snuck on the halloween bus so im lost are you willing to help me oh kind and cute stranger who may or may not be human or read minds?????”

Badboy!Ashton with his unruly curls held back by the infamous red bandana and the blakc leather jacket that barely contains his muscles desperately wants to see you every day but doesn’t have the nerve to talk to you in class so he gets into a shit ton of fights and knows you’re the nurses assistant, so he has the excuse to go see you until one day your fixing a particularly nasty cut he blurts out that he really really likes you and starts rambling on and on about how much of a loser he is for getting into fights just to see you and you can’t help but think of how cute it is with him being nervous and a rambly dork so you stop him by dabbing peroxide onto a cut and bandaging it up, followed by a quick kiss and you saying how much you like him as well and gob dammit im dead IM VERY EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW