im-scared-to-post-this

uhm so this is taking a lot of courage to post. no one will read this but here we go! i know a lot of you probably dont even notice the cuts on my arm in the picture above but, yeah they are there. not even a lot of my closest friends know i do it. and even more people on tumblr dont know so im kind of coming clean here. i started harming myself in the summer before i started grade 8 and im now in grade 9 and in september i’ll be starting grade 10. i know people will tell me i need to tell someone and that i need help and therapy but i’ve told people. i’ve gone through therapy and it didn’t help me at all. i’ve been doing this for a long time and i sometimes starve myself too but that’s another story… i’ve been so close to recovery but i always find a way back to sadness. i have depression and social anxiety and i cant have pills for either of them because my mind isn’t fully developed yet so the doctors are scared of messing that all up. so i dont take medication even though i want to. i haven’t done this in such a long time, it’s actually been a few months but lately i’ve been more and more stressed so i did these cuts yesterday and today. people always tell me that they will help me through this but they always leave when i get bad again. sure, life sucks and i dont know how to handle my stress and anxiety so this is what i do. but i will get through it. i know i will one day. one day i will be okay and i will be happy and you will too. i love you all so much and i want to say thank you to everyone who has helped me in the past and im sorry i’ve let you down.

I’ve been inspired lately by pixel RPG games along with watching the new walking dead trailer (more than once), getting extremely pumped about it, so this was born

it isn’t supposed to be good, I just wanted to do something fun aha

and fun it was not

props to pixel artists, I don’t know how you guys do this stuff

please help my cat

so as you might have seen a few days ago i made an update on my commission post saying that one of our cat fell ill and we don’t know the cause

for a few days it seemed he only had a bad tooth that needed to be removed but today’s blood test said otherwise

either a bacteria or a parasite is attacking his blood

he’ll need antibioticum and all kinds of injection daily

the vet fortunately knows of our situation and never asks for the full price but even with lowered prices it’s difficult for us to pay for everything. me and my sister already used up almost all of our money and my father is not exactly willing to pay for vet stuff in general.

as you might know i do commissions:

you can find my COMMISSION PRICE LIST here

i provided examples of my work in the post but also feel free to check out my deviantart gallery and my art tag!

if you have something else in mind that is not listed on the commission post don’t be afraid to ask me about it

my paypal is: kishalkis@gmail.com

you can also buy me a coffee

unfortunately i recently hurt my wrist and cannot work right now, so please if you do commission me, pay the full price first. i will not forget nor abandon your commission, but i desperately need the money and cannot wait until my wrist fully heals.

signal boosts are also much much appreciated

so I had to write a poem for school and...

The Fault in our Stars

This poem was inspired by John Green’s book The Fault in our Stars and Troye Sivan’s song “The Fault in our Stars”.

“Sometimes you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book.” – John Green

I cannot fathom my thoughts,

They are a pain that demands to be felt.

If infinities are infinite,

Then how are some bigger than others?

Heartbreak is a privilege if it’s by you, Hazel Grace,

Grief does not change you, but reveals who you are.

Without pain, we would not know joy,

But this pain is worse than ever before.

You die in the middle of your life,

The sentence that was never finished.

Life is a metaphor,

The killing thing is always between our teeth.

Whether this killing thing does the killing

Is unknown until the end

You get to choose if you get hurt,

By this killing thing, in this world.

I am grateful for our infinity, Hazel Grace,

It was small, but the world doesn’t always grant our wishes.

The fault is not in our stars, but in ourselves,

And to that, I say,

“Okay.”

  • someone:are you excited for this night out??
  • me:more nervous than excited
  • someone:are you excited for college??
  • me:more nervous than excited
  • someone:are you excited for anything??
  • me:more nervous than exci
Six (Luke Hemmings)

Summary: Luke and Y/N were childhood friends who just so happened to grow up together.. and live happily ever after, of course.

Word Count: 345 (1844 characters)

SFW/NSFW

Six year old Luke and six year old Y/N used to always climb up the tallest tree in a park near Luke’s backyard. Every night before they were called inside for bedtime, they’d sit in the high branches and talk about whatever; their day, what that one nasty boy said to Y/N at school, what they thought growing up would be like etc. One night though, a Tuesday to be exact, things were different. The night was silent, just the slow rustle of the breeze through the leaves surrounding them. As Luke held his breath, he leaned over and gave Y/N a soft peck on the cheek. Her cheeks flushed bright pink and she placed her tiny fingers between Luke’s slightly larger ones. Looking back on it, it was nothing. But at that moment, it was everything.

Fast forward sixteen years, Luke and Y/N were still together, taking on the world. The familiar tree branches had turned into the cream-colored walls of their newly shared apartment and pecks on the cheek became passionate “I love you’s”. One silent Tuesday night, where the only sound was the slow rustle of the breeze through floating leaves, Luke took Y/N for a walk around the old neighborhood they knew so well. Hand in hand, they ended up at the trunk of the tree they had spent so many young hours in. Once they were on the single infamous branch, Luke pecked Y/N’s cheek and with a deep breath, pulled out a boxed ring. “Y/N, I knew I wanted to marry you from the first time we ever sat up here. I loved six year old you, I loved sixteen year old you, I will love twenty-six year old you and I will love eighty-six year old you,” A single tear strolled down his cheek. “Will you marry me?” Y/N nodded quickly and pulled him into a tear-filled hug.

Overlooking the places they spent their entire childhood in, they reminisced about things that meant nothing now. But that moment.. was everything.

i dont jnwo where to begin or h ow to explain this but ii

my apartmentcomplex scammed meand my eoomate to extort moneyout of us and we were only just barely going to makeit by withoutlosing our apartment but now but now

ivebeen automatically chargedd $210 tomy acc for a renewal on renters isnurance and i had no idea ir was coming and we have 3 daysto pay the apartment conplex $960 on top ofthe $960ish we need to payfor next months rent on the 1st and

andthis just ate away the money for boththe initial fines andwhat i desperately needed to pay nextmonths rent and

andnow im $100ish shortt and thats not even considering thatwe need food and i and i

its my mom’s birthdayy, almost the 2 year anniversaey of her death, and again im terrified that im going to be homeless, that im going to not be ableto make it

pplease, im so terrified i wont be able to eat,or im maybe even going to lsoe everything again, please, what can i do

6

Hi guys ^_^ happy fabioh!

This is my first fabioh as I’m always too scared to participate because you guys are all awesome and yeah.

However I am going to do this!

My name is Caitlin I am 15 living in Sydney, Australia. I’ve grown up here and I love except for how expensive everything is and it’s so isolated from literally everywhere else in the world. I don’t have a flag, well, I probably do somewhere in my shed and I didn’t even bother turning the light on for the photos because my school ended today and I’m in bed so there was no way I was looking ^_^

I like many things, Yu-gi-oh being one. I’ve loved it since I was 4 and even then I was obsessed, it died down at age 9 but last year I watched abridged for the first time and i once again spiraled into madness.

I am watching so many shows at the moment, I just keep starting new ones (black butler is one if you guessed from the poster!) I play netball, i like drawing, sewing and reading. When I finish school I would like to travel and do an International Studies course then become a translator and subtitle person and after that a school/uni counselor or something else I’m not sure.

I’m not sure if that was an okay fabioh?

Actually love the yugioh fandom I see you as family even though I don’t speak too much ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* \(◕‿◕✿)/ *:・゚✧*:・゚✧

The magic of one note make it look so much prettier then handwritten ~
31/100 days of productivity

made a chapter of physics note since i didnt understand it and revisit and Im lazy to write. Looks like my notes are all gonna be on the com alrd ! and physics and poa exam tmr 😭 wish me luck

I’m so proud of myself :’)))
I’ve been working on my cognitive behavior (the way you think and the feelings/emotions you get from those thoughts) but today me and my psychologist finally started trying new foods
I have NEVER in my life eaten more than a tiny bite of vegetables. today I ate an entire plate, without gagging, throwing up, crying (this happens automatically because I’m ultra sensitive to taste, texture, smell, vision and sound.. when I eat something new I get a sharp pain in my throat (like tonsil area?) and it brings tears to my eyes without me wanting it),…
this is literally the imoment I have been waiting for my entire life and I’m so happy :’))))))))))