im-just-so-fucked

Okay buckle the fuck up because I’m pissed

Romani people exist okay? We exist, and we experience racism, and prejudice and fucking casual hatred and erasure and constant, never ending microaggressions and if you are a white activist I can almost guarantee you are not fucking helping.

Stop giving the total number of Holocaust victims as six million, it was nearly twice that. Better yet, just stop using the Holocaust as a rhetorical device in general if you’re not Jewish or Romani.

But okay fine you wanna talk about the Holocaust? Lets talk about the fucking Holocaust.

Did you know entire dialects of our language went extinct because everyone who spoke them was killed?

Did you know Romani children were the favorites of the Nazi scientists for experimentation because they were easily bribed with chocolate and toys? Josef Mengele (May he burn in every afterlife) sewed two four-year-old twin children together, back to back. Their names were Guido and Ida and their own mother had to kill them out of mercy.

Non-romani and non-Jewish people need to stop comparing what is happening to the Holocaust because guess what? You don’t understand our fear. You don’t understand how we’re feeling. I watched the fucking president sign an order to ban Muslim people from entering this country and now I cant stop having nightmares about brown triangles and fucking gas chambers.

and you do not know how this feels, you do not understand the visceral cultural memory that exists in ever Jewish and Romani person; I guarantee you do not get it.

In Mississippi you can still fine a Rom for moving to your county. Texas law refer to Prostitutes, Vagabonds and G*psies in the same breath and fines all of them $500 for existing in public. In Pennsylvania it is illegal to even be Romani without a license. A license to exist, a license to be allowed to be alive. And that’s just in the U.S, where I live. Romani children in Europe still go to segregated fucking schools

And I don’t have an Instagram anymore because I was sick of seeing white girls appropriate my culture and call themselves g*psies as if it wasn’t a slur, insisting that they just love my culture so much and yet none of them are willing to defend me against the Nazis who want to finish killing my people

I wonder if my survival will be predicated on how happy I can keep my racist white family. I wonder if they will be the ones who turn me in. I look at every white person around me insisting that we need to give Trump a chance and all can see is their backs turning on me when everything goes to shit.

I cant even go shopping without seeing t-shirt slapped with racial slurs, watching businesses being built atop my people graves, see our suffering reduced to an aesthetic, as if Romani aren’t still forcefully sterilized when they go to the hospital for cold medicine

Are you fucking listening? Do you understand what I’m telling you? I’m not a prop, im not an aesthetic, im not fucking Halloween costume, im a real actual person whose people are suffering I am so fucking sick of leftists and so-called activists who refuse to acknowledge that Romani people even exist, let alone try to, gods forbid, help us.

The only gadje I ever see defend Romani people are Jewish people. And that’s great, Jewish people thank you, but why are the only gadje who care about us getting murdered by Nazis the one’s who are also getting murdered by Nazis?

Stop talking about fucking “peaceful transitions of power” and “don’t fight hate with hate” and “if you punch Nazis you’re just as bad” stop fucking telling Jewish and Romani people they are just as bad as the monsters who fucking slaughtered millions of their people

Fucking hell I don’t even know what the point of this post is im just so fucking done with your shitty activism and your half-assed defenses and your “listen to both sides of the argument even if one side is LITERAL NAZIS” nonsense and your refusal to listen when people call you out on your bullshit im just done

OH FUCK. OH FUCK I FORGOT SYMMETRA HAS A PROSTHETIC ARM. FUCK. FUCK IM STUPID.  I HAVE TO FIX THAT  OH MY GOD IM FUCKIGN STUPID PLEASE NO ONE WRITE A CALL OUT POST SAYING I HATE AMPUTEES PLEASE I LEGITIMATELY JUST FORGOT IM SO FUCKING SORRY

VENEZUELA NEEDS HELP

IM JUST SO FUCKING PISSED OFF, SOMETHING HAPPENS IN FRANCE: THEY GET ALL OF THE ATTENTION. SOMETHING HAPPENS IN LONDON: THEY GET ALL OF THE ATTENTION. SOMETHING HAPPENS IN VENEZUELA FOR 50 FUCKING DAYS STRAIGHT AND IT SEEMS LIKE NOBODY GIVES A SHIT. OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE. VENEZUELAN GOVERNMENT IS KILLING CHILDREN. STUDENTS, 15, 16, 17 YEAR OLDS. HOLY SHIT, THEY COULD BE YOU.

anonymous asked:

im just. so fucking tired of the belief that fat people are fat because we're lazy and eat too much and choose to be fat like,,, I've lived with a restrictive eating disorder most of my life, still fat,,, I used to do 6 hours of gymnastics per week, guess what? I was still fat then too! my family has always eaten healthy foods, things like candies and soda are never even in our house, but guess what?? I'm!! still!! fat!! even with regular exercise!! i just am!!

Plus like, you know they aren’t out there harassing skinny people who eat like shit or smoke or whatever. Plenty of people are just fat and that’s it, and then there’s also people who gain weight because of conditions they have or medication they’re taking,, like there’s so many reasons someone could put on weight and literally none of them are good reasons to be shitty towards them. No one wants to believe people when it comes to their own body and health tho, fatphobes always think they’re the expert. 

Not to mention the gross ableism with the whole not supporting unhealthy people like, come on, you don’t have to be healthy, people are still people

the fact that kids on tumblr label their parents literally saying “no you cannot have a new computer sweetie but maybe for your birthday” as abusive really grinds my gears. 

like sorry Sandra but stop comparing your selfish middle class ass not getting what you want to someone who was legit traumatised because their mom was an alcoholic and decided to beat them within an inch of their life or their dad sexually abused them and continues to do so makes me feel sick

i used to be sad all the time but now im just so fucking angry. im angry that im up until three in the morning every single day with the thought of you stuck on replay because no matter how many times i try to shatter the record, my record player has your voice memorized and you are all i can hear in the quiet of my room and you are haunting me and you’re not even a fucking a ghost and i am so tired of being haunted by the living. i am angry because every song is about you. every song brings me back to you and reminds me of your eyes or your voice or your laugh and how it was a melody to my ears, how it was the thing that soothed me on my darkest nights and how now, i am implacable and my music is so loud all i can hear is the song that’s playing but between songs your name slips in and it kills me. im so angry that you slipped away from me. no. you didn’t slip away because i held you so tight and you pried my fingers away from your ribs and you pushed me away without any hint of goodbye and im so angry that i let it happen again. because i thought this time, you’d be the one who stayed but again, someone has left me. and i was convinced that i was finally locked down but you keep getting in and i know it’s my fault because i cannot stop leaving the key under my “welcome home” matt and i know nothing is inviting about letting ghosts of past lovers inside of your very own house but jesus fuck this is the only way i can get by without suffocating and choking up my lungs and im afraid that bullet holes were never just scratch the surface wounds because i have a war zone in my head and the bullets keep grazing my chest and there is nothing romantic about the way you force me to swallow gun powder because now i am a ticking time bomb and you convinced me it would save me but i am afraid if i hear your name im going to explode and obliterate everything in my path. you have made me destructive but still i am open arms for you and i am so angry at myself for letting it happen again but i must keep you alive and the only way i can reach you anymore is by turning off the lights and waiting for the haunting with tears streaming down my face and shaky hands, i will close my curtains, shut off the lights, and wait. i am ready for your return. i am not scared anymore. haunt me, please.
—  excerpt from a book i’ll never write due to the fear of you reading it // ig writingmyself

y'all i’m fucking screaming cause they look so good, and i’m just so fucking proud of them regardless if they win or not , aLSO NAMJOONS ENGLISH IS SO GOOD AND IM JUST SO FUCKING HAPPY AND PROUD AND IM

also can i just say IM SO FUCKING HAPPY that pidge’s “becoming one with her paladin element” wasn’t like “uhhh durrr technology makes u DUMB learn how to bang rocks together idiot” it was actually about working WITH nature to CREATE better technology and pidge was like “look i’m a pasty white kid with allergies but i’m not afraid of SHIT if i can learn and grow from it” i’m feelin so #blessed idk how any of yall can walk around here saying the garrison trio didn’t bring anything to the table this season fight me binch

im just so fucking upset that all these young girls were at a concert having the time of their lives seeing an amazing artist that they probably worked so hard to get those tickets and this was supposed to be their night. this was supposed to be a safe place as a woman there are few places i think i would feel safer than at a concert for an artist like ariana who is so open and accepting of everyone and i’m just so so mad that that feeling of acceptance and love and security was taken away. i’m furious. i’m heartbroken.

anonymous asked:

I'm proud of you for working on getting your shit together. You're going to do great, I believe in you!

for the first time in well over a  year i’ve been able to wake up without feeling like absolute garbage and im just so fucking happy

however im still in massive recovery mode rn and i just need to give myself time

but when that time comes. oh my god

Ok so since I’ve been home at my parents house I’ve been stuck basically watching cable on my parents tv or reading and the other week the twilight saga was the only movie on, it was a marathon, and I’ve been rereading so many old YA books and I watched twilight, new moon, part of eclipse, and the second half of breaking dawn. Anyway, I was intrigued so I decided to reread twilight and I forgot that they were actually kind of half way decent, if you take it at surface level.

But then I got to eclipse.

And I’m so FUCKING mad I’m shaking right now. Cuz I read the part where Jacob finally makes his declaration, and honestly, Jacob in the books makes my blood boil in anger. Because even though Bella R E P E A T E D L Y tells him she loves EDWARD, and it will always be EDWARD, Jacob still pushes the boundaries in every way he can. He’s constantly grabbing her hand and trying to push it, and it’s not like ????? Bella was ever unclear ???? Where that might be justified ?????? Like ??????? He’s being a fucking piece of shit ?????

AND THEN ?!?!!? He practically ASSAULTS HER. Like !!!!!! SHE WAS EXPLICITLY CLEAR THAT SHE D I D NOT W A N T HIM TO KISS HER

AND HE KISSES HER

AND SHE FIGHTS BACK ?! AND HE CONTINUES TO KISS HER. And THEN she fINALLY has to go COMPLETELY LIP AND LIFELESS FOR HIM TO STOP ?!?! ASSAULTINNG HER ?!?!!?? LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

I forgot how ANGRY that made me, but I was only 13 so like ?!?!!? How the FUCK was I supposed to know that’s WRONG. Like literally this book came out in 2007 which was 10 years ago. And I read it then and I was a CHILD and I was STILL upset because?!?!? She said NO ?!? And he KISSED HER ANYWAY

and the WORST part is I had NO idea what that shit was basically

But THEN

The stupid pathetic worthless mother fucker LAUGHS when she hits him. This asshole goes and VIOLATES HER CONSENT AND SEXUALLY ASSAULTS HER AND LAUGHS WHEN SHE GETS MAD

like are you FUCKING kidding me. And that ENTIRe conversation was him twisting EVERYTHING she said around when she CLEARLY said in MULTIPLE ways how angry and upset she was

And this mother fucking ass wipe continues to say “you wanted it”

IM SO FUCKING MAD I COULD PUNCH A WALL

AND THEN

AND THEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She gets home to Charlie and Charlie LAUGHS about it. Here is his TEENAGE daughter that EXPLICITLY SAID “I didn’t want him kissing me and he kissed me anyway and I punched him” GETTING IRATE WITH BELLA ABLUT PUNCHING HER ATTACKER ?!?!?!?1!3!2!3!1! LIKE HES A FUCKING COP

AND THEN !!!! A N D. T. H. E. N.

THIS MOTHER FUCKER TELLS JACOB GOOD JOB !!!! THIS DAD !!!! OF SOMEONE WHO WAS JUST ASSAULTED !!!!! TELLS THE GUY WHO ASSAULTED HER !!!! GOOD JoB !!!!!1!1!1!1!1!

WHAT THE FUCK

A. N. D. T. H. E. N.

WHEN EDWARD GETS THERE CHARLIES LIKE “no fighting” AND THIS MOTHER FUCKER TELLS BELLA TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN CUZ SHES SERIOUSLY PISSED AT JACOB AND THEN

AND THEN

I LITERALLY HAD TO PUT THE BOOK DOWN AND WALK AROUND I WAS SHAKING SO BAD

CHARLIE ASKS JACOB IF

HE

WANTS TO PRESS CHARGES AGAINST BELLA

IF THE GUY WHO JUST GRABBEF A GIRL WHO CLEARLY FUCKINGINY EXPLICITLY DID NOT WANT TO BE KISSED AND KISSED HER ANYWAY WITHOUT HER MOTHER FUCKING CONSENT, AND SHE PUNCHED HIM, IF HE WANTS TO PRESS CHARGES AGAINST BELLA

oh BOY I’m raging IM JUST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE JACOB SO FUCKING MUCH

WHAT A SLIMY MOTHER FUCKING WEASEL


ok I’m done. For now.