What people think I mean:
I get off on violence. I think hate sex is the best, don't think healthy and stable relationships are 'interesting' enough, and I purposefully sabotage all my relationships. I frequently ship characters with their abusers and consider dragging someone along and domestic violence 'grey areas' because if you look at context it really just means they love each other.
What I actually mean:
I love it when two people who hate each other, whether it be seemingly clashing personalities, or actual literal enemies (always enemies who balance each other out. Not 'anti-hero/villain guy constantly harasses heroine girl', but two people who are evenly matched and can hold their own against each other and even in hatred have somewhat respect for the other) who are fighting on opposite sides of a struggle, come together on equal ground and realize that they have more in common than they previously thought. When the two finally join the same side, whether it's due to the redemption of one character or what have you, they may not get along at first, but with time and effort the two eventually find themselves friends with the other. Only *after* they have an established trust and friendship do they then start to have romantic feelings for the other. The 'enemies to lovers' trope does not work if you cannot put 'friend' between the two.
as someone whose hands do shake and make it hard to type properly when I’m very upset I always figured that the crytyping meme was about the utter insincerity of the pattern and the consistency of when it comes up
like I have never, ever seen anyone stereotypically crytype except in exactly the type of situation that the stereotype is depicting (“im sso sssssorr y i didnnt t meesn tto ssayyy soekmthimh rrracust And nnpow eveeryomes mmad at meeeee gjjddvblryjkbs”, etc)
and frankly, *AS* someone who does produce typos when I’m upset because of weakened motor control- I had to go looking back through my messages to find a decent example, but during an anxiety attack (which for me can build into an actual seizure) a few weeks ago I sent this:
“dorry I’m not doing. Very we’ll right now. give me a moment pleade"
and the difference is… obvious. more to the point, I see non-post-fuckup-breakdown posts from other people on here that look like that all the time for loads of innocent reasons. the pattern we call crytyping only ever seems to come up because someone’s angling to look pitiful after saying something disgusting and then you guys try to drag those of us who actually do have motor control issues while upset into the mix to defend it, and I’m getting REAL tired of it.
this is probably gonna be long but whatever. stick with me.
soooo im currently rereading the original pjo series. and i am feeling. so many. things. i realized a lot of things too.
okayyy so in PJO, we view percy as reckless. stupid. always acting on impulse. basically that dumb guy that never thinks befire doing things. BUT in HOO, we start viewing him as mature and smart and strategic and all that. But he didnt grow THAT much. Percy didnt age that much in hoo.
Remember that iconic scene (Mark of Athena, i think?) where they meet some kind of monster/bad ppl (im too lazy to search it up) aboard the argo II and it was percy that thought of saying that Dionysus was with them? Percy knew about their fear of dionysus, and how he turned them inti dolphins. So he got some diet coke as “proof” that he was there and asked frank to turn into a dolphin. Genius, right?
Annabeth called him smart after that.
That was the only time we considered him smart. (Well not ONLY, just one of the few times.) But guess what? He’s been doing smart shit like that for years already.
I cant really mention all of the times he did something smart/wise. If i did it would take me days before i finish typing.
So i realized why we only thought he was smart in hoo but not in pjo.
In PJO, it was in first person, so we saw everything through the eyes of percy. In this series, he only focused about how stupid he was, about how great other people were and how better they are then him. But he doesnt focus about all the good/smart/wise things he’s done. Percy doesnt know that he’s smart. All he knows is that he is stupid, worthless, and all other negative things.
in HOO, however, we were reading from another person’s point of view. We saw percy from another person’s eyes. We noticed things that he doesnt notice himself.
Hazel called him a god, once, because he was just THAT attractive. Everyone else looked up to him, and thinks he’s the most powerful/strongest person to exist.
But Percy doesnt know that. All he knows is that he’s stupid.
SOOOO, long story short, Percy hates himself.
Ok bye sorry if this was long I just love Percy so much and i a m f e e l i n g s o m U C h