im trying to be funny but im kind of bad it

Big Girl - Michael Clifford Smut

 i wrote this a while ago i literally have no idea how bad it sucks ass but it probably sucks hard

—————————————————

“Mom no! I don’t need a babysitter I’m 18 for god’s sake!”

“No Y/N! The last time i left you home alone you almost burned the house down! And it’s not like he’s a complete stranger. It’s just Michael.” Her parents were going out for a business dinner and they hired Michael Clifford to babysit her.

Michael was 19, he graduated last year and he took a gap year to travel with his mates. That meant he needed money badly. They were neighbours and her parents invited the Cliffords over for dinner quite often but Y/N never had a proper conversation with him however she knew how cocky he was. He had the biggest ego. Always bragging about himself and trying to show off. Never the less she always had a slight crush on him. There was something mesmerising about him.

“We’re leaving now and he’ll be arriving in 15 minutes. Be kind to him and don’t cause any trouble!”

After kissing her parents goodbye Y/N decided to prepare some snacks to watch some movies. Her parents weren’t going to come back until midnight and Michael probably wasn’t gonna pay her attention, she needed to entertain herself until then.

She was going through movies when she heard the knocking on the door.

“Come in the door isn’t locked.” she yelled. She knew it was Michael. Who else would knock on her door at 8:30pm?

“You know you really should lock the door when you’re home alone. Im kind enough to not kidnap you but someone else might.”

“Haha funny Michael.” she was being sarcastic but she knew Michael was kinda right. She wasn’t gonna admit that of course. Michael’s ego was already big enough.

Michael plopped himself next to Y/N on the couch and asked “So what are we watching?”

“We? So THE Michael Clifford wants to spend time with me i’m honored.”

“Don’t flatter yourself i kinda have to cause there’s nothing else to do.”

“Sure.” she snickered. She knew he was being sarcastic. That was how their friendship was. Sarcastic remarks and mean comments.

They settled on watching a random movie which turned out quite boring.

“Why do you need a babysitter anyways?” Michael asked.

“The last time i was home alone i almost burned the house down so my mom doesn’t think i should be left alone anymore. But im a big girl i know i can take care of myself.”

“Big girl huh?” Michael had a smirk when he said that.

“Yes i turned 18 two weeks ago.”

“Truth or dare?”

“What?” she honestly was surprised by his question she wasn’t expecting this. “Truth i guess..”

“Are you a virgin?” she was taken aback from the sudden question.

“N-no.” she shyly answered. She’d much rather her first time being with Michael. The guy who took her virginity was an asshole. “Truth or dare?” she was already thinking of a smart thing to ask him.

“No you choose one.”

“It’s your turn.”

“Im in charge right now don’t you think? Do as i say.”

“Truth.” she didn’t want to take chances and she was pissed with Michael reminding her that he was in charge. Although the thought of Michael being in charge turned her on.

“What’s your biggest turn on?”

“Dare. Can i change it?” she couldn’t tell him that the thought of him tying her down and fucking her mercilessly while she called him daddy made her panties soak.

“No princess. You chose truth and now you have to answer.”

“Umm i g-guess my partner being umm you know dominant would turn me on.”

“I dare you to suck my cock.”

“WHAT?!”

“C'mon babygirl i know you want to. I know how much i turn you on. I bet you’re wet right now.” He was right. Thinking about him fucking her did turn her on.

She got on her knees. It was the moment she was waiting for all her life wasn’t it?

“Michael i’ve only done this once. I don’t know how to do it.”

“It’s ok princess i’ll guide you.”

She unbuttoned his pants, Michael lifted his hips so Y/N could take off his pants and boxers faster.

When Y/N saw his cock she was amazed. He was bigger than the boy who took her virginity and thicker. She was nervous to touch it let alone put it in her mouth.

“What happened?” Michael needed her mouth. Or her hands. Anything. He just wanted to feel her touch.

“It’s just that you’re bigger than my ex.” she didn’t even care if she was flattering his ego even more.

“It’s ok Y/N it’s not gonna bite see.” He started stroking his cock. “Try it c'mon.” Michael replaced his hand with hers and she slowly started stroking him.

“Ugh Y/N it feels so good. Take it in your mouth please.” how could she say no to him when he ask like that? She took him in her mouth. She struggled to fit him in her mouth but managed to do it. She started stroking the parts she couldn’t fit in her mouth with her hands.

“Yes yes yes babygirl does daddy’s cock feels good in your mouth?” Daddy? She never thought Michael would have a daddy kink. She hoped but she never thought he actually had it.

She stopped sucking for a brief moment and said “Yes daddy.”

“Stop stop come here.” Michael pulled her up and sat her on her lap. They started making out passionately.  Michael tried to take off her shirt and  bra without stopping the kiss.

“Fuck babygirl your tits are amazing.” He massaged her boobs and flicked her nipples.

“Daddy please do something!” “What do you want daddy to do baby? You want daddy to fuck you?”

Y/N could only nod and Michael eagerly unbuttoned her pants and took them off.

“Baby there is a condom in the back pocket of my jeans can you bring it to daddy?” she got up from his lap and bend down to get the condom. Michael couldn’t resist it and spanked her ass. She moaned from the pleasure, turning Michael on.

“You like it when daddy spanks you baby?”

“Yes daddy please spank me again.”

“I will baby girl but all i want right now is your sweet pussy wrapped around my cock. Come here.” He grabbed the condom from her hand and quickly put it on.

“C'mon princess ride daddy’s cock. Show him how much of a big girl you are.” Y/N positioned herself on Michael’s cock and slowly slide down. They both moaned in bliss.

“Harder babygirl. Make daddy proud.” Michael couldn’t take it anymore. Hearing her moans and whimpers were driving him crazy. He needed to have his way with her. He needed to devour her. He spanked her and said “Lay down baby.”

Y/N got up from his lap and laid down on the couch. After teasing her folds for a bit, Michael positioned himself at her entrance and quickly thrusted in. She felt so good wrapped around his cock and without realising he started ramming into her. He was fucking her so good. Y/N could feel a knot forming in her stomach and the aching feeling around her pussy. She reached down to rub her clit but Michael held her hands over her head.

“I know you’re close me too baby. Cum for me, cum for daddy Y/N.”

Y/N let out a loud moan and came around Michael’s cock. Feeling her pussy clench around his cock drive Michael over the edge.

He reached for the blanket on the floor and put it over Y/N. He got up and walked towards kitchen to get rid of the condom when he suddenly turned around and said, “I knew you had a crush on me. I think you’re cute.”

WARNING: see below

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ. 

Warning: Please don’t listen to the audio if you are in any way uncomfortable with sexual things. This Audio was included as part of proof in a call out post I should’ve made a while ago.

I’m sure everyone knows the story of how I met Ultima. It’s quite a funny story actually, I insulted his teeth on a livestream and that led to us getting an interview arranged. Shortly after he interviewed me and Vade, we starting talking a decent amount. It was clear he wanted to date me, and I told him that that summer I just wanted to focus on my studies, but he insisted that we give each other a chance. So I agreed, and we started going out early August. There were a few things that made me uncomfortable in the relationship, but nothing that I thought was damning. He was very insistent that we sext, even when I repeatedly told him no. However I figured it was just a thing that happened in online relationships, since I had previously never had one, and went with it. Nevertheless, we dated for about a month until I fully realized that this wasn’t attractive to me, and that he as a person wasn’t attractive to me, and I tried to break up with him.

I’ll say now that I was definitely not sinless in this relationship, and didn’t stand up for myself in times that I should’ve. I let things happen that I shouldn’t have let happen, and for that I do apologize. I’m obviously not very experienced, and he took advantage of that. When I tried to break up with him, he said a lot of things that set off the Psychologist alarm bells in my head. He told me only he would ever treat me well, and that I would never find someone who would give even half the same kind of love of respect. I’ll find the exact quote: “The worst part of all of this is that YOU are the one who will be losing the most in this situation. I will move on and you will be the one who has a higher chance of regretting the decision to just let me go.”

He then said he would forgive me for this “mistake” if I just agreed to drop it and get back together with him. I insisted that this was my decision that I wanted to make and that was that. A few days later, he contacted me saying that he wanted to get back together. I declined. A few weeks later, he again insisted that we get back together, and that even if we didn’t he asked if he could fly up to my apartment in December and have sex. I again declined. By this point I was dating hawker, and specifically told him we were together. He again asked if we wanted to get back together. I told him quite forcefully that I was dating hawker, and insisted he stop asking.

He still asked occasionally, but it wasn’t until December that I really realized what was going on. Ultima sent me an audio. Remember, this is about 2 months after me and hawker started dating, and he was fully aware of this fact. He sent me an audio fantasizing about having sex with me, completely out of the blue. (AUDIO IS INCLUDED ABOVE). REMEMBER THIS WAS AFTER I HAD REJECTED HIM AND HE KNOWS IM GOING OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE. It was around that same time I got some more information.

Jenn came to me and asked a question about Ultima. She told me what had happened (see her blog), and I immediately told him that both the audio and the fact that he did this to Jenn really made me uncomfortable, and I didn’t want to be in contact with him further.

A bit of time passed, and more inconsistencies started to pop up. Upon asking around, both Camila and others he had interviewed had a similar experience. Then, when I confronted him about him pestering other people to date him as well, he blatantly lied to me, saying that they were the ones who had pursued him. Then things began to unfurl, and I realized he had been manipulating and pestering almost every woman he had interviewed.

I didn’t want to make this post to be a vindictive bitch, or to throw him under the bus or anything. I just really wanted to warn people about what type of person he actually is. By all means, if you like his content, watch his content, but don’t think for a second that he is the person he says he is.

I honestly was fooled by his nice guy approach. When Vade and a few more friends told me that he was doing some really questionable things, I defended him. Even now, I’m still feeling a little bad for doing this. But I also got into this mess by not saying what I needed to say when I needed to say it, so I’m going to do that now.

If you are a woman that he’s interviewed and he asks you out, think very carefully about if you want to say yes. Don’t let him pester you, and don’t let him get his way. If he sends you explicit pictures, block him and report him. 

This is also hopefully to show him not to do this in the future. I’m sincerely not trying to ruin his life, and I’m pretty torn up about doing this, but it needs to be done. 

anonymous asked:

Heyo I just absolutely love your blog! Would you mind doing a classical musician au (orchestra or solo, doesn't matter) for Yoongi, Seokjin, and Taehyung? Like they play classical music and instruments like violin or piano? Thank you so much! 💖💖

ummmm listen to me anon i love orchestras,,,,i love listening to harp concertos,,,,how did you know,,,,,,

Yoongi

  • he’s the conductor 
  • and he takes it very seriously. like he does not play around 
  • with him it’s all about perfection and it’s not because of some sort of complex he has,,,,,it’s because people like to look down on younger conductors like him,,,,people who might not have years and years of knowledge so he pushes himself and his musicians to play their best even if it means hours of tireless practice
  • fluent in italian + french because he needs to know how to read choral writing 
  • plays piano,,,,but rarely shows it to people outside of his close musical friends and mentors.
  • known as ‘stone yoongi’ since he doesn’t change his expression ever,,,,,,not even when the tempo rises or something goes wrong. he’ll correct people with the same tone of voice as he praises people
  • some of the musicians don’t like his very practical, hard-work over everything approach but everyone in the orchestra puts their trust in his leadership because they know he’ll never let them down
  • and you’re one of those people, you play viola and you’re seated right in front of yoongi and no matter what piece of music you’re playing or how well or how bad the practice is going you can’t help but admire his complete grace and unwavering expression
  • ,,,,,,,but also you’ve made it your own personal mission to make him smile. at least once
  • because you remember seeing him smile,,,,,,during the new years dinner where one of his mentors had complimented him on his improved skills and how,,,,,,,,you’d seen this beautiful gorgeous smile you knew you’d never be able to forget
  • and so from making faces, to making musical puns, to even using two bows to give yourself antennas,,,,,,,,,you’ve tried to get a laugh. a chuckle. a hint of that smile
  • but it hasn’t worked 
  • not until you end up late to practice, running past everyone’s stares, hair a mess and yoongi goes “why are you late”
  • and you, out-of-breath, admit that your case had gotten stuck between the closing doors on the train and you had to literally put your foot against the door and tug it out, falling over onto your back in the process
  • but you grin and pull out your viola and you’re like “thankfully, she’s fine!” (referring to the instrument)
  • and this,,,,,,,,this pulls the corners of yoongi’s lips into a small smile
  • but enough of a smile that it shows his gums and his eyes scrunch up 
  • and you’re like holy,,,,,,,,i did it,,,,,,,,,,he smiled,,,,,
  • and after the practice you go up to yoongi and you’re like “im sorry for interrupting the practice-” but yoongi just shakes his head and then suddenly he’s ????? smiling again
  • and you’re like someone pinch me he’s so freaking cute
  • and he’s like “it’s fine, but really the way you were most worried about your viola really-” and he looks into your eyes and he’s like “really shows that you love it,,,you love music right?”
  • and you nod, because of course you’ve always loved it from the bottom of your heart
  • and the next thing you hear you can’t believe but ???? yoongi is like “me too,,,,,,,not a lot of people truly care for their instruments and their talent,,,,,,,also - aren’t you happy, you finally got me to smile.”
  • and you’re like Omg,,,,,did you figure out what i was up to?
  • and this time it isn’t a smile but a smirk more so and yoongi goes “it was obvious, but since i smiled - how about you do something for me?”
  • and you’re like well,,,,what? 
  • and he’s like “do you want to go get coffee with me?” and you get a bit flustered and taken aback and you’re like,,,,,,,are you asking me to hangout?? 
  • and yoongi is like “hmm, no im asking you on a date.”

Jin

  • instrument: the harp 
  • “if you bother me during practice again i will strangle you with all 47 of these strings. do nOT test me”
  • deserves more solos ,,,,,,, like yes jimin’s tchaikovsky violin solo was great but,,,,,,jin has this really good boieldieu piece,,,,,
  • people are always like “he’s so perfect for the harp,,,,it’s the most beautiful instrument in the orchestra and he’s just as beautiful tbh”
  • and yes he looks magical playing it, long fingers gliding across the strings and a very handsome composed face it’s honestly like watching a prince
  • so many other members have messed up by looking over at him and just being mesmerized and basically missing their notes 
  • and you’re new to the orchestra, replacing one of their flute players who’d gotten sick and on the day of your first rehearsal
  • you get there super early and you see this tall boy with this HUGE case and he’s looking at the door to the practice room and you’re like !!!! he needs help
  • and you go over and you’re like “let me hold the door open for you!!!”
  • and you don’t even look at his face, you just get the handle open and look at the case and try to guess ,,,, like it’s not a cello it’s not the right shape,,,,,an octobass??? no,,,,,,,
  • and then you hear him laugh and he’s like “thank you!” and it’s a very unique laugh it’s kind of squeaky??
  • and you look at him and holy moly is he????? an???? angel????
  • how can someone look like that
  • and jin is just like “my harp is such a pain to move,,,,,it’s the worst part about this instrument.” and he like slowly begins to move it through the door and thankfully the case is on wheels, but it’s still gigantic 
  • and you get bumped a bit by jin’s shoulder as he’s moving past you but you’re like more concentrated on making sure the harp gets inside unharmed
  • and once jin gets it through the door, he gets it into his position and he’s like opening the case and you’re like “let me help!!”
  • and jin is like “oh, thank you! by the way are you new?” and you introduce yourself and tell him you’re the new flute player and he’s like oh im jin,,,,,,as you can tell i play harp LOL
  • and you’re like “i love the harp!! it’s such an underrated instrument,,,”
  • and jin claps his hands and is like EXACTLY,,,,,you get me i feel like we’ll get along
  • and you guys start talking and it’s kind of funny because you’re on one side of the harp and he’s on the other and like you can see him through the strings
  • when finally you peek from the corner and you see jin’s face once again you’re like what ,,,,,,,, art,,,,,,,am i looking at tbh
  • and he’s like “oh here let me show you how to play a note on the harp!”
  • and you’re like !!!! ok
  • and he takes your hand and gently guides it over onto one of the strings and tells you to put your foot on one of the pedals
  • and you notice how long and elegant his fingers are and you’re like he really is perfect for this instrument
  • and his warm breath is against your ear as he’s telling you to play an ascending note
  • and it’s like a scene out of a movie,,,,,,,
  • until you hear someones voice and you look over to see a younger boy going “hyung!!!!!! are you two having a MOMENT?”
  • and jin is like “jungkook come here - what did you just say?”
  • and you’re blushing because,,,,,a moment,,,,,,and jin’s ears are red too but he’s too busy running to chase jungkook who has dashed out of the room saying he’s going to tell the rest of bts that jin is being a big flirt LOL 

Taehyung 

  • instrument: the bassoon
  • his instrument is the largest one in the woodwind family and therefore can play the lowest notes and everyone says it’s fitting because his voice is p low too
  • someone: “taehyung has anyone ever told you,,,,,you speak in like a B flat?”
  • taehyung: “honestly i don’t speak that DEEP im not batman please,,,,,though that would be really cool should i try speaking like batman from now o-”
  • the whole orchestra: “PLEASe god n o”
  • he really likes it when kids ask what kind of instrument he’s playing because it looks like a really big flute??? with lots of keys??? and shiny parts??? and he’s just like very very excited to tell kids about how cool the bassoon is and how it is very very important to the orchestra family
  • and tbh most people look at him and their first impression is that he can’t be serious,,,,,,like he can’t actually play classical music well with his torn up jeans and vibrant personality,,,,,they’re just like “shouldn’t be in a punk band or something?” but taehyung,,,,
  • when he plays,,,he’s 100% serious and committed and you can see the shift in his face. like he goes from all soft smiles, big eyes, sparkling laughter to concentrated, sharp focus 
  • and you don’t know taehyung at all, to be honest you’re just an usher that works at this concert hall and during the practice you’re doing the usual check up to see that the seats are all clean and there isn’t any safety hazards
  • when you look up you see this grinning boy, with pretty brown eyes and a really cheerful chuckle walking up onto the stage and he’s holding the bassoon and you’re like huh he looks kinda playful,,,,,is this orchestra not famous yet?
  • but literally ten minutes into practice you look up again and spot him,,,,,the same smiling youthful looking boy playing with such a stark expression of seriousness that you almost trip over yourself as you’re going down the aisle of chairs
  • and taehyung notices the way you keep throwing glances over your shoulder
  • and even after practice as everyone is going back out and the theater is being opened for the night,,,taehyung passes by you and gives you a smile and you’re like ?????
  • but shrug it off as you start helping people to their seats and passing out programs
  • but then you hear people talking with other members of the orchestra and when you help over an elderly couple to their front row seats you see him,,,,,taehyung,,,,,,standing there too and you kind of blink a bit because shouldn’t he be mingling with the other musicians and people??
  • but taehyung tilts his head and gives you a wink and you’re like !!!!!!! blushing and looking around and then giving a small wave
  • which in turn makes taehyung break out into a grin, slight pinkness in his cheeks
  • and you don’t get to talk until after the performance but taehyung finds you as you’re pointing out the bathroom to some people and he’s like “hi ^^” and you’re like omg,,,,hi?? and he’s like “so which do you like more,,,,,,,musician me or plain me?” and you’re like huh and he’s like “smiley, cute me or sexy, serious me?”
  • and you get that he’s referring to how he is off and on stage and it makes you giggle and he just wiggles his eyebrows 
  • and it’s cute,,,,,,his sense of humor matches yours and taehyung asks if your ushering shift is over soon and maybe you two can get dinner? 
exo shitpost #2: exo at the carnival
  • junmyeon: alright assholes go wild
  • chanyeol: hoo boy i'm going to win me some prizes
  • baekhyun: you suck ass at everything what could you possibly win
  • chanyeol: that thing with the hammer
  • sehun: your arms are two limp noodles lmao
  • chanyeol: fuck you
  • luhan: your weak ass can't even get it past the halfway mark
  • chanyeol: i don't deserve this verbal abuse you try it
  • luhan: what. the fuck.
  • luhan: it doesn't work
  • sehun: excuses are for the cheap
  • luhan: this is bullshit, this game is rigged, and we are going home
  • -
  • yifan: ok junmyeon let us get wild
  • junmyeon: would you fuck off i will not ride a roller coaster
  • yifan: why
  • junmyeon: because i may shit myself
  • junmyeon: but also because i don't want to be seen next to your crusty ass
  • yifan: why did i ever love you
  • -
  • jongdae: fuck yes corndogs
  • kai: holy shit kyungsoo take it slow
  • kyungsoo: i am a hungry bitch today don't speak to me
  • jongdae: did you really just inhale that entire corndog
  • kyungsoo: it's not that big
  • kai: i can personally assure you he's seen bigger
  • jongdae: wow kyungsoo, king of the dick
  • kyungsoo: if you don't shut up right now i might eat you
  • -
  • zitao: fuck i lost my watch, i must have left it on the ferris wheel
  • minseok: you irresponsible fuck what did i tell you about leaving your goddamn shit everywhere
  • zitao: here, take my ice cream and put it on your tits because you need to chill
  • minseok: /rubbing nosebridge/ how much did that stupid thing cost
  • zitao: it was gucci
  • minseok: i just pissed my pants
  • zitao: relax jethro i have like ten more at home
  • minseok: what
  • zitao: eleven including the one i gave to candy
  • minseok: you have eleven gucci watches, one of which is for your dog, and you still gave me a fucking slurpee for my birthday
  • zitao: at least it was a jumbo size
  • minseok: you're dead to me
  • -
  • yixing: life is fantastic
  • kyungsoo: you're a cheery mf today aren't you
  • yixing: why are you so pessimistic, go inhale another corndog
  • kyungsoo: i can't eat too many, i'm corn intolerant
  • yixing: that's not a thing
  • kyungsoo: i'm also mildly allergic to dogs
  • yixing: that's,,,, not how it works
  • luhan: don't bother this is from the same guy who didn't know how dna works
  • kyungsoo: no more kimchi spaghetti for you
  • -
  • sehun: cotton candy BITCH
  • chanyeol: this is your fifth one, stop it
  • sehun: i am in love with this shit
  • chanyeol: diabetes says hello
  • sehun: i might dye vivi this colour
  • chanyeol: what the fuck she's not an easter egg
  • sehun: doggosthetic
  • chanyeol: s e h u n that's abuse pLEASE DON’T DO THAT
  • -
  • yifan: aw fuck
  • junmyeon: what now you overgrown baby
  • yifan: i'm too tall for the bumpercars
  • junmyeon: too bad
  • yifan: this is no fair
  • junmyeon: go ride something else you ingrate
  • yifan: that's it i'm putting you on the death drop
  • junmyeon: you better freaking not
  • yifan: hi yes one ticket for the death drop
  • junmyeon: nonononono im sure i don't meet your height requirement eheheh
  • yifan: don't worry dear, they have seats for shrimps like you!
  • junmyeon: WU YI FAN YoU fUckeR
  • yifan: enjoy bitchy!!
  • junmyeon: YoU haVe a laWSUiT oN YoUR handS
  • -
  • baekhyun: OFF TO THE HOUSE OF MIRRORS WE GO
  • jongin: i love the fact that i still look hot in all of these
  • jongdae: hey baekhyun this mirror's got me looking just like you
  • baekhyun: how so?
  • jongdae: makes me look ugly as shit
  • jongin: im piSSing
  • baekyun: this kind of commentary is the reason no one loves you
  • -
  • luhan: haunted house, leggo
  • zitao: fuck this shit i'm out
  • minseok: nah i'm in let's do it
  • yixing: zitao i'll protect you
  • zitao: too late i'm already crying
  • minseok: oh ShiT i am Spooked
  • zitao: AHAHADSHJF UHUHUHUH WAHHDHJFF
  • luhan: his soul has left him
  • yixing: you made it taozi, i’m proud of you
  • zitao: thanks yixing, the only thing that helped me through it was the fact that those goblins back there kinda resembled you and it was really funny
  • yixing: wow, this is basically bullying!
  • -
  • junmyeon: well boys, it's been fun
  • kyungsoo: no it has not
  • junmyeon: but we must head back to hell
  • yifan: he means home
  • junmyeon: trust me, i mean hell
Dating Bobby would include

Originally posted by ygboys-ot11

  • a lot of pet names like every pet name ever invented would be said to you one way or another 
  • babygirl, love, sweetheart, babe, baby, just everything that made your heart all tingly
  • would speak english to you constantly, i mean who wouldn’t love bobby speaking english
  • those friendship-kind-of-feel-skinship
  • the constant arm around your shoulders
  • and puts it around your head and putting you into a headlock
  • but then he chuckled when you’re not giving any restraint to his headlock bc he does this all the time
  • then he would put his head on top of yours and smell your hair 
  • he loveeesssss smelling your hair 
  • and would do it whenever he could i swear to god he would just smile whenever he smells it 
  • and whenever he’s sleeping over at your place he would borrow your shampoo
  • even buying the same one as yours and bring it on tour 
  • bc he said that it reminds him of you
  • wears those musky really masculine body wash and aftershave 
  • and he smells delishus
  • gives you all of his hoodies bc it smells like him 
  • and you’ll give it back to him when it’s starting to lose his smell
  • and he will take the hoodies back on tour because it smells like you
  • ok hold up. sorry but ok this is too intense for me
  • always holding your hand anywhere because he always walks faster than you and he would make you catch up to him
  • and a few pulling and tugging your arms just wait he’ll want to walk everywhere with you 
  • from night markets, malls, walking you to school, parks, everywhere just he’s very active okay 
  • he’s active, in bed 
  • OH NIGHT MARKETS GOSH OR ANY PLACE THAT HAS FOOD STALLS NEXT TO EACH OTHER
  • all the food all the games?!! i mean its such a perfect date for bobby tbh
  • he would buy all this foods for you
  • and shoving them in your mouth first before devouring everything into his 
  • and would buy every single thing he sees bc he loves to eat and so does you
  • like both of you would just eat 24/7 
  • i feel like he would love his girl to eat just as well as he is 
  • so dont you order that fancy salad off the menu bc he just wont and cant have it 
  • and he would play those games and try to win the ridiculous prizes for you 
  • with his child like competitive side lets just imagine
  • and since u guys played all the time and bob is sooooo good at playing games (look at all the vapp guys hes  a downright ace) he would win a lot for you until your rooms will be FILLED with all the stuffs bobby won for you 
  • usually he will win you the really huge dolls, and when you play to win for him it will just be those really small trinkets (bc u suck) that bobby would keep in his room on top of his dresser 
  • and then eat again 
  • and again
  • always carrying tissues everywhere bc that boy cant eat properly to save his life 
  • and he would be whining when you wiped it off with a tissue and not with ur mouth!!!!!!!!!!! OMG
  • he would be so clingy and needy all the time tbh he would be so cute god help me 
  • mornings with bobby would go both ways
  • its either
  • lazy lazy mornings 
  • “babygirl staaayyyy in beeedddd”
  • “babe i want to sleep some more”
  • with that raspy voice?!@&?!
  • and pulls your body back straight to bed 
  • or 
  • he would be such an early bird waking up in the morning and cooking breakfast or eating leftover
  • reheating them in the microwave and not letting it hit 0 secs bcs the sound will wake you up in your sleep
  • he’ll let u sleep but would wake you up when he’s done eating because he’s bored
  • ordering americanos and drinking lots of coffee in general
  • just having strolls around the park with coffee in your hand and his hand in the other
  • ramen date nights!!!!
  • where both of u would just pig out and let ur face be swollen the next day
  • usually occurs when he has concerts and day offs the next after
  • no drama whatsoever in this relationship bc u both r chill af and ure both really secure with ur relationship
  • “well did you get jealous?”
  • “well, no, bcs i got you”
  • OH OH OH 
  • and since he’s really bad at taking care of himself esp his voice due to all the stress and those screaming and rap performances 
  • you would have to FORCE him to drink herbal hot green tea and thats when he hates loves u the most
  • “babe, sirheo” “babe no why it’s too hot” “ah babe too hot!!” “ah why did you make it that hot” “put a lot of honey in" 
  • but would secretly loves it when you’re so intent on making him feel better since he’s always working hard 
  • like bringing food whenever he wants u to and massaging him!!!
  • he would love massages from you and would do the same for u if youre tired 
  • flexes his abs 24/7 
  • and his arms like gOSh i get it ure hot i get it but YOU WOULD LOVE IT 
  • nuzzling into his arms and shoulders 
  • sharing every single thing you own 
  • eVERY LITTLE THING shirts pants god even toothbrushes 
  • whats yours is his whats his is yours
  • like its not even a debate anymore its rlly intense both of u just really really gives your all in this relationship, LITERALLY
  • at first u would be really hesitant to depend so much on him and shares everything
  • but then he would really look into your eyes and drills it into your head that
  • "a lot of things are yours, babe." 
  • and u know that he means it, like his heart is yours, his firsts are yours, he is yours
  • sharing clothes 
  • just imagine his really big oversized shirts worn by you
  • when you go public:
  • both of u would just go everywhere together and being the social butterfly he is, he would run into tons of people and would just proudly introduces you to everyone
  • writes all of his lyrics based on you
  • the sex would be so fucking good 
  • like i mean come on look at him 
  • will be so passionate every single time its just like a switch 
  • but will be pretty vanilla imo
  • will try to make both of you feel good 
  • only calling him "bobby” when you’re mad at him 
  • OR WHEN URE IN BED IT TURNS HIM ON SO MUCH 
  • and when ure mad he will be turned on too bc thats what u call him in bed 
  • so every argument will be solved with sex whats wrong with that
  • its mostly just disagreement or when you’re both frustrated with each other bc ure both very stubborn 
  • frustrations there is just a lot of frustration
  • but he’s your ride or die
  • he will be SO PROTECTIVE and so a BIASED  towards you
  • will defend u till the ends of the earth in front of anyone
  • but thats what he loves most about you, that you’re stubborn
  • and thats what u love most about him the fact that he’s very passionate in everything that he do and he has a strong and clear vision of all his philosophy and choices 
  • so its always fun to see you bicker about the different opinions between the both of you
  • calls him jiwon, babe, baby, bb, bobba, bubba
  • “bobba” how cute :(((
  • a lot of midnight strolls and a lot of eating junk foods 
  • watch tv series together in his bed in his arms with ur legs tangled over each other and nose kisses and eye smiles and just everything cute and fluffy is in bob when he wants to be- ass grabbing in public 
  • “yah! babe!” and he would laugh at your reaction 
  • so you would spank him back 
  • and both of u would have a good laugh
  • matching tattoos, somewhere hidden with only the two of you who knows 
  • carpool karaokes 
  • rap battles
  • and if you’re not korean and you can’t even keep up with half the shit he spits
  • he would freestyle for you in full english so you could rap his songs
  • and probably would write you tons of lazy raps in english and record them 
  • and gives it to you for ur anniversary or birthday
  • plays guitar hero xbox
  • going to church togetherrrr!!!!!  
  • whenever he has the time to
  • bc i feel he would want someone with the same beliefs as him, but would love u nonetheless if ure not
  • sends memes and snapchat funny faces when he’s away on tour
  • can be really romantic if he wants to be, but you’re the kind of girl who loves fun relationship more than the romantic one
  • if you’re not from korea, he would love to travel to your country and learn about the culture
  • i feel like he will be so open to the possibility of dating an international fan
  • “babe, whats this” “uwa whats that” “babe what did u just say” “babe, teach me how to say i love you" 
  • and he would just know what to say i love you and i’m hungry 
  • afterall he would just be so amazing okay
  • if he ended up not to be with one of us please please i beg u with all the kindness in my heart pls pls take care of him
  • because he fucking deserves it 
  • he has one of the best hearts i know out there 
  • and u would not regret dating him bc he’s just really2 good with u and he understands u 
  • and will accept every single flaw within you with such love and compassion
  • and you would do the same thing for him and thats why your relationship will last 
  • bc the both of u really respects each other 
  • and rlly accepts one of the other so it’s easy to forgive one or two things that u guys might have done 
  • ok 
  • im done- let me live- 
  • he’s just the best ok

Originally posted by ygboys-ot11

mean

Originally posted by ikon-global

look 

Originally posted by jiwonsqueen

at this

Originally posted by endlessikon

magical nonsense

Originally posted by hanbi-i

haha yea right im doomed. 

anonymous asked:

(part 1) ur gonna roast me for this but im legit curious why mafia AUs are so bad? im asking in a non confrontational way, i get it romanticizing mafia is wrong, but i also believe that 1)most mafia AUs are a really toned down type of mafia;2)they do make for some interesting kinds of dynamics with fanart and with fics; 3)in a fic specifically u can create your own world and call something mafia and still make it so they don't kill innocent people but only idk members of other gangs or sth

(part 2) plus theyre a way to put ur charas in a completely diff context and see what theyll do. i mean i dont believe that writing ships in a certain context (like mafia) equals romanticizing that context. mafia AUs arent even my fav things to read (in fact i almost never do), im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

I’m not gonna roast you don’t worry xD okay wait let me check if I replied to this already if yes I’m gonna c/p because it’s half past midnight otherwise I’ll just go at it again wait *checks tags* fff obviously I don’t have a general post but anyway pls read this after you’ve done with my post and then this which is also choke-full of links. plus for a (not nice) laugh: here. AH WAIT I FOUND THE POST.

okay, so, let’s have it out of the way: I have nothing against mob aus or crime aus. I have a problem against calling them mafia AUs because in the US mafia = organized crime at large, in Italy mafia = ACTUAL EXISTING ORGANIZATIONS THAT ARE ACTIVELY HARMFUL. now that I introduced the topic I’ll c/p you the reply I gave to another anon who while discussing the issue pointed out that most writers don’t even know Italian mafia is a thing, which is pretty much on the same discourse so…

*The thing is - in the US it might not be enough of a deal anymore and I honestly do get why people make the mafia = regular mobsters, since the mafia was the first foreign organized crime being exported to the US via italian immigrants (sorry if this sounds horrible in English but I just woke up and I still didn’t have coffee) so I understand that mafia became the umbrella term.But the thing is that - as you said, these people don’t even know that there’s a mafia in Italy anymore or where the word comes from.

 I’m going to link to italiansreclaimingitaly’s tag about the mafia and its perception outside Italy because they posted about this extensively and it’s an excellent resource, but meanwhile I’m gonna do a very short bullet point list and about the topic:

  • Mafia might not be a big deal in the US, but it still is here. We have the beauty of four different mafias (Cosa Nostra - the Sicilian one, camorra which is the one in Campania but has tendrils spread everywhere, the ‘ndrangheta which is in Calabria and the Sacra Corona Unita in Puglia) which are all active [especially camorra and 'ndrangheta] and whose actions have direct impact (negative) on our economy and on our society. Actually mafias are one of the main reasons we’re currently economically fucked up, and if I start talking about how mafia culture keeps some areas literally backwards I could talk about it for three months.
  • There are still people who are killed for standing up against them. These days the most prominent personality is Roberto Saviano who is a writer who dared to put together a book documenting minutely the way camorra works and he’s been living under protection for years by this point. Like, they want him dead because he wrote a book. And I’m sorta sure that he was talking about leaving Italy and going to the US after years of sticking with it here because he can’t take it anymore but I don’t know if it was a taken decision or if it’s still debating it.
  • It wasn’t even thirty years ago that we had the stragi di mafia - in english it’d be something like the mafia slaughters, basically around the beginning of the nineties there were a number of bombs planted by the mafia targeting people who were trying to oppose it including judges Falcone and Borsellino, actually the anniversary of Falcone’s death is like… tomorrow. And they’ve killed people for way longer than that. Here is a list of only Cosa Nostra victims including the ones from the eighties/nineties. And people are still dying because of it. The slaughters I’m referring to are just the ones in the nineties which are enough of a number.
  • They also perpetuate a culture where if you testify against your mafia-employed relatives you’ll be shunned forever. There are women who testified against their families and couldn’t see their children anymore never mind that they weren’t automatically considered a relative anymore the moment they sided against the mafia. Some people have committed suicide after becoming witnesses also because our police force/justice system can be terribly non-supportive in this kind of situation so they got left on their own. Never mind that back in the day - it was the beginning of the nineties? - I recall at least a particular story of - I think, correct me if I remember wrong but I can’t remember the names for the life of me - where this guy testified against the local mafia when he either used to work for them or was forced to pay them the pizzo and in retaliation his six-year old (or five? Anyway he had a son younger than ten for sure) got kidnapped, killed and thrown into acid to dispose of the body. That happened in what, 1993? 1994? It’s pretty much yesterday. And now the camorra is doing the same - there’s a list here of camorra victims among which accidental passerbys that got killed because they were in the way which I can tell just by glancing is not complete. And I’m not even going into the 'ndrangheta. That is to say, here mafia still kills people and cripples our country.

Now, I get that it’s a word, but the point was: let’s say that instead of the Italians the Japanese came to the US first and the umbrella word for organized crime was yakuza rather than mafia and let’s say yakuza was still what it was originally in Japan while in the US it stopped being a big deal and people write yakuza!AU instead of mafia AU. Let’s say someone Japanese gets angry at that and goes like 'listen the yakuza is a real deal it does this this this and that and it’s a plague in our country so can you please at least look it up before writing your fanfic’, which is what had happened way back then when this whole mafia and fanfic thing blew up. A bunch of people told us to get over it because it’s just a word and if it’s a problem in Italy it’s not in the US so why should they care? Now, if we had been Japanese (or Chinese or Russian or Mexican) would they have said the same thing? Considering the general tumblr attitude I’m pretty sure they would have received either an apology or 'this is an important deal let’s keep that in mind’ with signal boost reblogs and stuff. 

It’s the fact that we should get over people not knowing that it’s still a real problem for us and that they can’t take five seconds to google it that is the problem imo. Especially when instead of mafia au you can just say mobsters au or tag it as organized crime and everyone is a lot happier, mostly because as the tag above explains romanticising the mafia is a good thing for them because it means they can act outside Italy with less stigma because everyone thinks that the mafia is dead or not relevant anymore, if I’m explaining myself. (And it’s active outside Italy - like, there was a mafia kill in Germany in 2007 where six people died (sorry the link is in Italian but there isn’t an English wiki page, if you look the city up you’ll find something probably) and it was because of the 'ndrangheta.

I’d really like to not get worked over it because it meant it was a thing of the past y'know, but the problem is that it isn’t and I’d rather spread some awareness in hope some of these writers look it up (because it’s a good thing that people know what mafia is since as stated they have tendrils everywhere - if you read Saviano’s book the entire first chapter is about how camorra regularly deals with Chinese import/export in Italy for one) than shrug and figure that since they’ll think everything is good for fanfic then it’s not even worth my time.*

Now, ^^^ that was the c/p-ed reply that should answer most of your doubts. What I didn’t address was:

im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

aaaand as we say here in Italy, this is where the donkey falls (sorry we have weird sayings), because in theory there’s nothing wrong with that… except that in 99% of the mafia aus I’ve seen around the thing is that they’re supposed to be cute.

like, I see a lot of shit with TINY MAFIA BOSS STEVE ROGERS with RUSSIAN ENFORCER BUCKY (????? bucky isn’t even russian???) and the yoi thing I saw before had the japanese character being the leader of a russian mafia gang which is… like… guys it doesn’t happen it really doesn’t, and a lot of them re-use wrongly terminology taken from the godfather without context or knowing what the hell it means, and it’s always from the criminals’ pov and they’re somehow seen as criminals doing justice where the police can’t (???) and like… no. mafia bosses/enforcers/employees are bad people period, and at least here if you try to leave or repent they kill your family in retribution. like, not even ten years ago there’s been a woman who used to belong to a mafia family (or one colluded with the mafia) who testified and her entire town/family shunned her and she couldn’t take it anymore and… killed herself drinking acid if I don’t recall wrong. it’s not even special cases. this shit is not funny, it’s not cute, it’s not adorable and it’s not good fodder for your imagine your otp scenario (srsly I saw one like.. let me find it,

LIKE. just look at this shit. in a regular context, the enforcer goes to the show owner to force them to pay a monthly sum to their boss lest they destroy their shop and their lives and their family’s life never mind that mafia culture is deeply homophobic so the mafia enforcer flirting with the shopkeeper is like completely fucking out of the question. I mean, people here like to shit on the sopranos but that show was actually excellent representation of Horrid Criminals Who Were Never Supposed To Be Good People and the small arc that happened when one of tony’s friends turned out to be gay (closeted) was REALLY well done. btw, it ended that when they found out he was gay most of the crowd rejected him and thought badly of him until I think they killed him also for other reasons, but that spiraled from finding out he liked dick. and that’s american mafia that they actually based on well-done research of the culture in Italy it came from, I assure you that here it doesn’t work that differently. like. the shit above is so inaccurate and frankly offensive, it’s like… I get people romanticizing problematic stuff but the thing is that when you tell them that it’s actually offensive you get brushed off as ‘ah well you’re being too sensitive it’s just a word u__u’. now, I’m all for exploring shit we wouldn’t be into, but not like THAT, because that’s like mafia romantic comedy and that’s not how it works. now, you wanna do a fic where the mafia characters are deeply flawed and bad people and the police tries to catch them? fine, great, go ahead. you wanna do a fic where the enforcer above deals with dunno an entire life of internalized homophobia when he finds the shopkeeper attractive and feels conflicted over having to con money out of him and doing horrible shit for a living and maybe understanding that crime isn’t worth it and then he actually collaborates with the police and gets shit from about everyone he knows and loves for that? okay, awesome, go ahead. nothing bad in that.

but the shit above is not exploring things we wouldn’t/writing darkfic, it’s THINKING THAT A CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION WHICH IS STILL A THING IN OUR PART OF THE WORLD IS CUTE AND ADORABLE. and that only plays in their favor because it takes the bad aura out of the word and we really should not let that happen. like. that is what is bad about mafia aus and mafia discourse, that people don’t realize the mafia is alive and well and thriving and not a thing that doesn’t exist or a generic word for organized crime.

you wanna write the shit above? okay, CALL IT CRIME AU or mob au, not mafia au.

btw, add-on: idk if I mentioned it in the above post or not, but in case I didn’t, I said that people would balk at the idea of a mexican cartel au. sadly since then I’ve found out a fandom where not only there is one but it’s also extra cutesy and people apparently love it and it has a bunch of kudos/comments and idek I’m not even touching that with a ten foot pole but like… I’ve avoided it and everything that author wrote because to me it’s just… nope. like, nope. if you do mafia aus don’t make them fucking cute. (also: in the same fandom I had to mute a v. famous fanartist whose art I actually liked but did cutesy mafia aus and.. like… haahahhaahahahahaha nah sorry. can’t go there. nope.)

Im Youngmin as your boyfriend

- so turns out he actually takes the same bus as you, and for a while he’s been admiring you
- making sure you have somewhere to sit, even if it means he has to stand for the whole journey
- however, your always too tired to even realise what’s going on
- but its the day of ur job interview and lmao you woke up late!
- and so guess who forgot their bag which contains all their belongings, including ur phone and wallet?
- hahAHAHAHa you…
- ur at the entrance of the bus and of course everyone’s looking at the strange girl who doesn’t have a bus pass but is still trying to get in…
- and all of a sudden someone from behind pays for your bus fare
- your too embarrassed to even look them in the eyes but you still thank them
- what makes it worse is the fact that the bus is extra crowded and you hate standing because you can hardly even reach the handles that dangle down for you to hold on
- “just hold onto me”
- you see an arm held tightly onto the handle and you can feel the other arm wrapped loosely on your waist
- lmao by loosely I mean awkwardly propped on your waist unsure how tight or loose to hold you, as well as unsure where exactly to prop their arm…
- nevertheless you’d rather not embarrass yourself even more by falling over so you start to hold tightly onto him
- can I just say, a wHOLE LOADA STARING
- DIS BOI HAS NO CHILL
- when you finally have enough courage to look them in their eyes you realise they’ve been looking at you this whole time
- BLUSHING!!!!!!
- warning- youngmin likes to smirk… a lot
- you can feel the laughter coming from his chest
- he follows you out the bus and claims he’s going wherever you are
- ‘I’m youngmin by the way, what’s your name?“
- “why do you keep following me?…”
- your so embarrassed and you really don’t want him to see how red you are because of him
- “fine. You caught me, by now I should probably be in my lecture… But before I go, at least let me get your number.”
- how could you say no???
- and before you both know it your pretty much texting non stop and he asks you out on a date
- your first official date is at a PC bang, and yes he was planning to be romantic and teach you to play one of the games called over watch
- but sIKE, you were a frequent PC bang user back in the day of high school and let’s just say, your way better than him
- “but I just wanted this to be romantic and I wanted to teach you, I was planning so much and now you’ve just completely beat me…”
- youngmin whining, with his lips pouted and hair in a hot mess
- before you knew it, you had your lips on his
- fIRST KISS!!!!!
- you could just about reach his lips but after a few seconds youngmin already had his hands wrapped around your waist
- “youngmin… I’m sorry that you sUCK AT OVERWATCH!”
- you try your best to run away but he catches up to you instantly
- and yay, second kiss
- this time he’s confident and in charge, hands placed lightly on your cheeks and yours were tightly around his body
- “wow, you’re an absolute beast on overwatch- it makes me like you even more…”
- confESSION!!!
- its official y'all are bf and gf!!!!!
- changing his relationship status on all social media
- as well as bragging about you a lot
- “yah, woojin! My girlfriend can actually play overwatch aND SHE’S REALLY GOOD, what can your girlfriend do? SiKE I LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND SHE’S REALLY NICE please stop hitting me…”
- smiling youngmin means your most likely smiling as well
- you can’t help but get lost in his eyes when they crinkle as he smiles
- normally silences with youngmin are the kind which are enjoyable, no awkwardness just a sense of understanding
- he walks you home when its dark and at times like this he’s quite protective, youngmin more or less always has his hand around your waist when your walking home
- which your fine with tbh
- but in general you guys trust each other but sometimes you feel that youngmin is way too chill when your around guys, and you’ve realised he doesn’t really care or get jealous
- “do you even like me? It just seems that sometimes you don’t even care when I’m around these strange men!“
- “are you being serious right now? You don’t even understand how crazy I feel when I see you around these guys but I trust you and I don’t want to be that annoying over protective boyfriend… I trust you, y/n and you should know that i only have room in my heart for you.”
- you both apologize to each other and make up
- but what’s a make up witHOUT any make up sex…
- lemme just say, youngmin likes to take charge…
- and by now your neighbours clearly know his name .-.
- but just in case you haven’t realised what I’m hinting at; a whole loada love bites and delicate kisses on your body as well as hardcore exercise
- “yOUNGMIN, look at all the red marks I have on my neck from last night. Do you realise how hard it is for me to cover it up with makeup?!”
- “well you weren’t complaining last night”
- and there it is again, his smirk is now even more prominent and mixed with his perfect bed hair and morning voice…
- well one thing leads to another and your late for work, again…
- cute café dates and surprise the cafés you normally go to are cat cafés!
- rather than being focused on what your talking about he seems busy with stroking a nearby cat but now this gives you a chance to admire him
- “admit it, I look really cool right now”
- hE was right, with his satoori and his jawline and the cat…
- “you’re the lamest person I know”
- “y/n you make my heart flutter whenever you act like this, so cold and cool… Wow- 100% tsundere style, I’m in love”
- youngmin teasing you was something common but he really did mean the last part…
- you rolled your eyes before a laugh finally erupted out
- journeys on the bus together consists of sharing earphones and normally fighting over who gets to pick the music
- “but youngminnnnn, you love me right? And so you’ll love anything I love, and I love jiyoung oppa so let’s listen to some of his music!!!”
- youngmin doesn’t respond and you notice him flinch at mentioning love but try your best to ignore it so you just change the music to your gdragon playlist
- your walking home together and he’s still not responding
- “youngmin, what’s wrong? Why aren’t you talking… Are you just going to continue like this? Really?”
- you try your best aegyo to persuade him to open up but unlike usual, it has failed
- “yah do you know how you make me feel? Whenever I’m with you its like I can’t even feel my heart anymore, what do you want to hear? That you’re right? Because you are, I’m probably talking absolute bullshit right now but I just really like you- no, I love you.”
- you pull his face close to yours
- “me too, I love you”
- there’s a smile on his lips whilst you kiss
- “but seriously, y/n why do you call gdragon ‘oppa’ but not me?”
- “because your lame”
- youngmin also likes to play with your hair
- whilst your waiting in line his hand is around your shoulder and reaching to fiddle with your hair
- one night you’ve decided to try and get him to braid your hair
- at least he tried…
- he also likes whispering in your ear, knowing especially how ticklish you are
- passerby’s would think he’s saying something dirty but in reality its just dumb jokes
- “y/n you no longer have to watch asmr videos, I will be your asmr and im available 24/7”
- “hahaha very funny.”
- sharing clothes! He lowkey leaves his jumpers at your house so you can wear them… But he gets highkey turned on whenever he sees you in his clothes
- youngmin also endulges in couple items, making sure to drag you to buy matching t-shirts as well as matching phone cases
- “look, I sent this picture to my mum and she says we look cute… I would’ve expected her to cringe”
- “y/n! How could you do this to me?! Sending her a photo which I probably look weird in- I’m her future son in law and…”
- he stops at ‘son in law’
- “oppa, what are you even- psh, son in law?…”
- awkward silence
- “you finally called me oppa, that’s all that matter right now and we can discuss the future… In the future…”
- his smile reaches his eyes and your heart instantly melts
- “well, youngmin- son in law doesn’t sound that bad, right?”
- all of a sudden youngmin is on one knee and his hand reaches his chest pocket
- “Y/n, will you… ACCEPT MY HEART?!”
- Instead of pulling out a ring box like you were assuming he would, he pulls out nothing but his fingers in the shape of a heart
- “wow, I’m in love with such a loser”
- aNd you both spend the night in each others arms with an empty pizza box and mulan playing on the TV
- your both in love with each other and thats all that matters right now but as to what the future may hold… Well, who knows

monsta x as zookeepers

anon: zookeeper!monsta x !! idk bc it sounds so amusing ahahah your posts are so cute eshgkehks ok byebye

thank youuu and I’m sorry if this isn’t what you expected lmao anYWAYS

also thanks to my pal @kurlykookster for helping me with some ideas for this, ily <3 

shownu: 

  • strong guy 
  • carries deliveries 
  • can carry kilo food bags like it’s no big deal 
  • usually the one capturing the animals for check ups and relocation 
  • he feels bad because he knows that they’re scared but he wants to see that they’re healthy 
  • worried that the animals might hate him for it 
  • so he will try and win their hearts by giving them extra treats and toys to play with 
  • often talks to wonho about it since he can lowkey relate 
  • despite his thoughts he’s still really smiley and loves his job 
  • hosts talks about the animals 
  • is really shy doing it but loves to see people interested 
  • gets so many compliments from visitors for his passion and knowledge and dedication wow employee of the month am i right 

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Impressive English Skills // Im Jaebum

Originally posted by defsouljb

Pairing: Jaebum x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Summary; You’re a famous foreign celebrity. Jaebum has always had an undeniable crush on you - and upon GOT7 meeting you at the same interview, he manages to embarrass himself to hell and back.

A/N: Just a reminder that (Y/C) = Your Country and (Y/E/C) = Your Eye Colour :D

And can I just say that I woke up this morning to see our lovely Jaebum on V APP and I literally burst into tears. I’m so happy that he is recovering, but he will need to have more therapy before he returns to dancing. <3 Be strong Jaebum! You can do it!

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9

nikki, 

happy happy (early) birthday! 

you already know that because i often let you know but it’s your birthday and i’m allowed to get sappy fucking fight me!

nikki, you are a person i truly admire. you’re smart, funny, beautiful, kind and insanely talented. your life is tough. but you manage to live and you  don’t let things to stop you. you always fight and keep on going and i’m so proud of you and i take and learn a lot from you, you’re like a big brother to me :’)

the thing i love the most about you, i think, is that you are a good person. literally. you have a heart of gold. you care, and you love, and you listen, and you are a great friend. you always try to remember facts and things about people so you could give them a more friendly, personal vibe when you talk to them even if you’re not even mutuals, you just want to be as nice as you can and that is something about you that i have mad appreciation for. like, it’s truly admirable. you’re also always there for anyone who needs a friend or someone to talk to and that is another thing about you i really do appreciate a lot. you’re just a lovely person. you put a smile on so many people’s faces daily and constantly.

i’m very bad at writing but i hope you know i love you and that i consider you as a close friend and a person i’m genuinely happy i’ve met. you’re an amazing person, so fun and interesting to interact with and it’s just wonderful to have you around! 

happy birthday nikki i hope you have a good one and may phil finally work on his horrible posture just for you <3

with all the love in the galaxy, millie

@pinofs  @pinofsappreciation

dating nct hansol!!!1!!!

• hansol’s pretty quiet
• you guys speak satoori w each other a lot and everyone in the group thinks it’s super funny and entertaining
• the quiet couple in front of everyone else
• but when you two are alone you guys laugh like, 25/8
• you’re the only person that knows where he’s the most ticklish
• he’s ticklish, literally everywhere except his stomach ok he’s, it’s great
• “if we ever have kids-”
• “hans-”
• “let’s name the first one after a character in dragon ball”
• you guys watch anime together all the time omg
• yuta sometimes joins
• you guys don’t mind, yuta’s like, you guys’ best friend. he’s the sassy best friend in every best trio friends movie
• “THAT SCENE IS SO UNREALISTIC. I’D KNOW I’M JAPANESE.”
• wiggles
• dancing
• he’s so good at dancing
• he tried to teach you how to dance once
• he still uses the video he secretly took to blackmail you
• he watches it when he’s tired or upset. always makes him laugh.
• HIM IN WHITE, BUTTON UP DRESS SHIRTS.
• SO SEXY.
• HE KNOWS IT’S SEXY. HE KNOWS.
• SLICK BASTARD.
• jk please give hansol all the love. he deserves it. poor boy, locked up down in the basement.
• hansol is super protective
• like an older brother who actually cares
• he asks you a lot of questions like “how are you today?” “did you have fun today?”
• once he asked if you ate and you said no and he was like “oh my-” and hung up
• he drove all the way to your house with yuta and taeyong and made them move a whole bunch of snacks and drinks and food and made the other two guys move them into your house and he gave you a small awkward hug and brushed through your hair with his fingers and was like “you need to be healthy okay? even if you’re busy, please eat”
• and boy were you guilty bc you literally forgot to eat bc you were watching the office for the 17th time and binge watching all the anime that you’ve ever watched, ever
• he sometimes calls you every 5 minutes if he feels uneasy about you going somewhere alone and when he can’t accompany you and keep you safe
• “where are u now”
• “…the same place i was 5 minutes ago hansol. at the bus stop.”
• your parents first thought he was rude and told you not to meet him
• but then they talked to him a bit and realized that he was really quiet and unresponsive bc he was nervous
• they love him now ok your siblings love him too bc he’s super cool and tall and god he’s just a tree
• he got you a super fluffy teddy bear once
• it’s holding a heart that says “i love you” and it’s one of those voice recording bears, he recorded himself saying “i love you”
• it’s your most treasured item ever
• hansol gets jealous pretty easily but he never voices it out to you, he just gets a little more affectionate.
• he puts you in between his legs or puts you up on his lap and plays with your hair and gets crazy close to your neck (god), rests his chin on your shoulder, kisses your temple
• he takes a lot of pictures of you it’s the sweetest, cutest thing.
• his phone wallpaper is a picture that he took of you playing with jaemin and jeno
• his lock screen is a picture of you and him together after one of his dance performances
• hansol doesn’t cry much but when you do, he’s often lost and kind of awkward, but he gives you a nice hug and gives you nice kisses on the top of your head
• hansol gives really nice, sweet kisses
• his hands rest on your hips and your arms wrap around his neck and sometimes your hands tangle in his hair
• sweaty, in his white button up dress shirts (BRINGING THAT BACK), dark black pants, after practice = seX. ok im sorry.
• but fr that exists and it’s great ok.
• HANSOL HAS THE BEST, MOST FLEXIBLE HIPS I S WE A R.
• hansol loves talking to you, he’s pretty like, boring on text bc it’s “awkward” and “strange” to him, he calls you a lot
• hansol tried to cook for you once
• he did pretty well the first time actually
• then he got too confident and then almost burned the house down the second time he tried cooking.
• the closest thing to cooking you guys do is microwaving chinese food and making jello
• hansol is super tall and his height comes in handy, very often.
• “HANSOL, BABE CAN YOU GET THAT BOWL ON THE TOP SHELF FOR-”
• “got you covered.”
• his biggest turn on is when you’re in one of his shirts that are too long on you, with a pair of shorts or nothing underneath except for your underwear and when you get on your tippy toes trying to get something on the highest shelf and your thighs kind of shows and god he loves it so mu c h, never have you guys not at least made out when that happened
• hansol is very, dominant
• he loves dirty talk goD.
• his hand sneaks into your inner thigh, a lot, ok bye im dead
• reading manga, eating snacks, and watching anime on your laptop on hansol’s bed, totally not involved in any sex, is a thing and it’s one of the dorkiest things you guys do, but it’s also one of the most common thing in your relationship
• hansol has a really high alcohol tolerance
• you, however, do not and hansol also, takes videos of you drunk, and uses it for blackmail.
• hansol has got a lot of shit on you and that’s what makes your relationship 98% more interesting.
• you guys sometimes just sit down and watch weird shit he’s recorded of you and laugh
• “ur so dumb”
• “hansol shut up”
• yuta has a lot of shit on both of you
• yuta sends one weird thing he has on the two of you every two weeks in a group chat.
• you, don’t even know half the things yuta send and when or how or where he got these videos
• he literally sent a video of you kissing a cow’s tail on new years while yelling “HAPPY ST PATRICKS DAY!” and pinched the cow for not wearing green and started crying because you were alone today and it was easter and bunnies made you cry bc they’re so fluffy and cute. it was a saturday. in june. you were with hansol and yuta and probably doyoung too. hansol tried to stop you from crying. yuta swears you weren’t drunk and that you were sane and you were just possessed.
• you were probably drunk.
• “wow u guys are really cute together”
• “johnny. im cute together with everybody.”
• “(y/n)”
• “hansol i love u”
• hansol’s lowkey not insecure at all
• he’s very confident about your feelings for him
• he knows you love him
• and it’s true you do love him
• hansol doesn’t say “i love you” a lot
• but he says it occasionally and it totally melts you
• hansol has a tumblr
• so does johnny
• they get together and scroll through their memes and send you the funny ones
• half of them are made by you
• but they don’t need to know that
• he carries you bridal style pretty often
• ADORABLE THE MOST ADORABLE COUPLE OK
• he’s so kept to himself bc he’s a strong “busan man”
• but we all know, you esp, that he’s a baby and a little 9 year old boy trapped in a large, 183 cm man’s body
• he calls you princess
• YES. HE CALLS YOU PRINCESS OK. DEAL. WITH. IT. IT’S CUTE.
• hansol, ok this is like really underrated and not canon, but hansol loves it when you read for him like, read his favorite books to him out loud or reads anything out loud, he loves your voice and he just, loves you reading things for him
• ok on a side note, hansol loves your singing, doesn’t matter if you can or can’t sing, to hansol, it’ll sound good, no matter what.
• hansol friggin loves your hair
• hansol friggin loves your smile
• hansol and your selfies are on point ok
• sexy selfies, hot selfies, cute selfies, couple selfies, YOU NAME IT, YOU GUYS ROCK IT.
• you guys keep the whole “WE’RE A COUPLE” thing lowkey
• ok but you guys have couple rings
• and couple bracelets
• you guys took a vacation to an amusement park and you guys bought one of those cute animal ear headbands and took a whole bunch of selfies
• it’s your phone wallpaper
• you guys have super intense staring contests
• pokemon battles
• you guys go out and buy and collect pokemon cards and have battles
• intense ok. intense.
• pokemon go
• pokemon go all the time
• “HANSOL”
• “what? are you ok-”
• “GET OVER HERE. THERE’S A DRAGONITE HERE.”
• “WHERE ARE YOU.”
• messy bun, trainers, talk tops and jackets for you, and messy bed hair, comfy adidas pants, a lightweight shirt for hansol.
• hansol isn’t THAT interested in fashion but he always manage to look good
• you guys go to the beach sometimes and goD it’s fun
• he sprays water on you and you two make sand castles and write each other’s names in the sand like “I LOVE HANSOL!” “I LOVE (Y/N)!”
• on halloween you two dressed as vampires
• you guys looked hoT.
• hansol is always there to comfort and talk to you when you feel bad or have a problem or feel insecure
• he’s not a good talker, really, but he’s such a great listener
• but sometimes he’d talk for hours about topics that he’s passionate about
• it’s really cute
• aegyo is funny with hansol
• he’s so good at aegyo, that it makes you just, CRINGE SO HARD SOMETIMES AND YOU GIVE HIM HUGS and HE LAUGHS
• hansol’s LAUGH.
• SO PRECIOUS.
• you learned so much satoori from hansol ok this is random bc i talked about satoori 49405005 bullets ago but fr you guys’ satoori is the best
• you get very defensive over hansol
• if anyone insults hansol-
• ok if anyone other than the nct members, jokingly-
• -insults hansol, you will burst like a volcano
• hansol loves you for it but sometimes you get a lil scary
• but he still loves you for it bc you’re the first person who was willing to protect him like that
• hansol isn’t very good with words on a daily basis, but still
• one time-
• OK STORY TIME
• one time you guys have just started actually dating and all the pressure of being a good girlfriend was honestly driving you crazy
• and hansol, didn’t know how to really, comfort you. but he wanted to.
• so, hansol, being as extra as he is, decided to write you a letter about all the reasons why he loves you and stuff like that, you know
• and he made yuta give you the letter LOL
• and when you read it you started crying and hansol sat next to you and patted your back gently and gave you a nice hug and kissed you
• yes that was your first kiss
• and yes it was amazing
• ok hansol is pretty extra. in a really lowkey way.
• hansol’s room is full of posters
• anime posters
• and manga
• ji hansol. one of nct members that’ll probably say “you had a crush on me? that’s embarassing.” in the future
• “hansol. we’re married”
• “…still!”
• hansol is fr a super tall, hot, nerd.
• and you love that so much ok no joke wow this is amazing how’d you land such a wonderful guy
• you love hansol
• hansol loves you
• pls get married and have beautiful children together.

ok THIS IS HANSOLLLLLLLLLLL. hansol has been giving me mad feels these days i just can’t w hansol. JI HANSOL IS WONDERFUL. please give him more love.

{Special} College!AU Minhyuk
  • major: dance education 
  • minor: biology 
  • sports: archery club 
  • clubs: wanted to join an on campus band but he actually isn’t that good at playing guitar…….so instead he gets lessons from joshua whose in college choir and now he can successfully play……..one song
  • minhyuk is the shining star in all of his classes because no matter how many times he messes up, no one can get angry because his smile is blinding and his intentions are never bad
  • like literally his clumsiness is out of this world and his memory fixates on one thing and forgets about everything else so when he shows up to bio class completely prepared with the notes he took down for chapter 7, even though you were supposed to read chapter 6 like,,,, the teacher lets it slide and everyone in his group helps him out 
  • because like he wants to do his best he’s just prone to ,,,, mixing things up
  • but don’t get me wrong he works hard and studies hard, his grades are better than jooheons (which really bothers jooheon LOL)
  • and sure maybe coming out of lab covered in the ethanol he spilled on himself is a bit……
  • or when the teacher refers to a salida and he can’t stop giggling because god it sounds like salad right- right???
  • can make him seem goofy and silly but that doesn’t mean he’s not serious when he needs to be
  • like he even tutored some of the kids in his class in bio because he’s actually really good at it, no matter how clumsy he comes off in lab, like he knows his stuff
  • because more than anything he wants to learn how to be a studious teacher who doesn’t only bring joy to his students through dancing - but also learning how important exercise is to the human body
  • kinesiology minor seungcheol is always lending minhyuk his textbooks because minhyuk wants to know even more on the science of body movement
  • and no one gets how minhyuk finds reading that stuff so damn entertaining, but at the same time minhyuk is too cute to say no to
  • like to all students and teachers alike, like i mentioned this before but seriously his smile and his happiness is contagious 
  • he’s the campus happy virus 
  • and whenever he gets to see younger kids like when he goes to competitions with the archery team and he sees like the middle school division he’s like
  • pulling on a fellow teammate shownu’s sleeve like hYUNG LOOK THEYRE SO CUTE AND SMALL
  • and shownu is looking down at him like: you’re also small
  • minhyuk: ):< am nOT
  • says the adorable boy whose bow is covered in like stickers of puppies and flowers and whenever he gets a perfect ten he throws hearts at the audience
  • and if someone throws them back he pretends that the hearts pierce his chest and he like puts his hand over his heart and makes a cute face
  • like c’mon he is the CUTEST campus happy virus ever
  • also he thinks love is cute. like minhyuk loves love he thinks couples are the best and parents with their kids make him excited 
  • and whenever him and the guys go out to eat and like karaoke or whatever minhyuk always points to couples sharing drinks or holding hands and he’s like ~~~~Soooo ROmanticcccc
  • and hyungwon is shoving fries into his mouth like huh and kihyun is like yo minhyuk i can hook you up just tell me i gotchu bro
  • except minhyuk is like kihyun No Offense but i Dont Trust You
  • kihyun: im gonna pretend im not offended but just know that i aM offended and this severing of our friendship is going down in my diary tonight
  • minhyuk: what
  • but basically minhyuk is an angelic boy who is always trying to see the positive in everything and probably dances to music when he’s out at the mall and everyone in his friend group is like we don’t know him but the cashiers can’t help but smile like what a CUTE kid
  • not a kid he is in college but you know what i mean everything and anything he does is endearing from singing bio terms out loud to remember them to staying up past 4 am to practice his own dancing, sweaty hair pulled back and determined eyes….ok we’re getting off track
  • but yes you know minhyuk because he’s your neighbor in the off campus living house
  • and he lives directly next door and the building is like 70 years old the walls are as thin as paper so every night between the hours of 10 and midnight you hear some kind of music coming from his side of the wall
  • and for a while you were like,,,,,,,why the hell does he listen to the same song on repeat for two to three hours???? is it like his studying mechanism???
  • until you saw the poster of the seoul ballet recital hanging off his front door right under it the iconic photo of michael jackson’s moonwalk and you were like
  • “oh. dance major.”
  • and tbh you don’t really complain,,,,the music he dances to is actually not as bad as you thought it would be. like sure one night it’s jazz, the next it’s hip-hop, then you can’t believe it but is that,,,,,clogging music?
  • but it kinda becomes a habit of yours to stay up, glancing at the clock when it hits ten and you can hear minhyuk moving furniture around in his room to make space to practice and then you always get a neat surprise when he turns on some kind on new music
  • although you have to admit you almost spit all your coffee out when you heard the cotton-eyed joe song 
  • you think it is really cool how hardworking and dedicated minhyuk must be to dancing
  • but it’s kind of funny because like,,,,you’ve never seen him
  • LIKE you don’t really know what he looks like because you have no classes in the dance major and your schedules never cross because like
  • you’re on campus for your classes and then you have work and you’re sure minhyuk has class and then practice or whatever
  • basically you’ve never ??? like ?? seen him in the hallway of your house or even down in the communal kitchen 
  • but the fact doesn’t bother you because you’re not friends with his friends you guys are just neighbors that like,,,,,,never talk LOL
  • until one night when you’re settling in with your coffee, textbook open, hoping that tonight’s music selection by minhyuk is the waltz or something so you can actually concentrate 
  • and to your luck that’s what it sounds like and you smile to yourself as you start taking notes and slowly swaying to the music in your seat
  • but then,,,,,all of a sudden,,,,,,the music cuts off
  • and you turn to look at the wall with your eyebrows furrowed because - this has never happened
  • so you wait a bit,,,but ten minutes passes and,,,,nothing,,,,,,,,,
  • no music no sounds,,,,,,
  • and you don’t know why but something inside of you tells you that something is wrong 
  • and although it’s probably awkward to worry about someone you know close to nothing about it is neighbor courtesy to take care of one and another
  • so you venture out of your apartment and over to the next one and you knock on the door, putting your ear to it and trying to listen but ?? there’s no response
  • so you lean closer and put your hand on the doorknob and??? the door just opens like it wasn’t locked at all
  • and your fear about something being wrong heightens by like ten fold
  • and you call out an “I’m sorry for disturbing you, but can I come in?”
  • and then you hear it, a faint groan of pain and the voice of someone asking for help
  • and you run down the hall to see a boy laying on the floor, clutching his ankle in pain and you’re like oh my god??? and you rush over to him and you’re like
  • “what’s wrong??”
  • and he looks up at you and even with his face twisted in pain he’s still,,,,like wow,,,,,like he’s handsome
  • but now is not the TIME and you’re like ???? “should i call an ambulance? get the med student from floor 5????” and minhyuk’s like shaking his head and pointing to the door like
  • “ice, from the kitchen downstairs……” and you’re like ICE OK ROGER WAIT HERE DONT MOVE
  • and minhyuk is like “i??? can’t??”
  • and you’re like rIGHT r i ght one second 
  • and so you rush downstairs and get a bag of ice and back upstairs and as you’re running down the hall you’re like in your head you’re like
  • okokokok if anything is broken we should go to the hospital - but can i carry him? would that be ok? should i ask him? also why didn’t i at least comb my hair i look so bad and he’s so cute - wait wait don’t think that!!!
  • and finally you barge back into his apartment and run over with the ice and you’re like “is your ankle broken??? i think i should call-”
  • and minhyuk is like again shaking his head
  • and then when he looks up at you, he somehow even manages to break into a smile 
  • and you’re like hOW aren’t you in pain
  • but he just takes the ice and applies it to his ankle and he’s like AHH IT HURTS and you’re like !!!! but then he grins at you like “just kidding, i mean it does hurt but not a lot the ice will help in no time~”
  • and you’re like “it’s not broken???” 
  • and minhyuk’s like pFFT nooooo it’s just twisted!!!! and he gives you a thumbs up
  • and you’re like “i didn’t hear the music from next door and then i heard you fall so i thought i’d come in here and you’d be like bleeding from your nose-”
  • minhyuk breaks into laughter, but winces a bit but he’s like “no!! dancers should all know how to fall to make sure they don’t break anything, it’s like the first thing you teach the kids too”
  • and you tilt your head like ??? the kids
  • and minhyuk’s like “oh, im a dance education major not a dance major” and your eyes widen a bit because wow you,,,didn’t know that
  • but somehow it fits even more afterall here he is laughing off twisting his ankle, keeping bright and sunny even though most people would be ): right about now
  • you can’t help but think such a good personality is perfect for teachers
  • but anyway you nod and you’re like “oh, i didn’t know - that’s cool!” and minhyuk’s like “sO you’re my neighbor? you must really not like it since you have to listen to all my weird music”
  • but you shake your head and you’re like “not at all! actually i always look forward to ten o’clock because i know you’ll play something interesting and it doesn’t bother me - if it does i just go out and hang in someone elses apartment, but really - i have grown fond of it”
  • and minhyuk kind of looks at you funny and you’re like “what???” and he’s like chuckling like “nothing, just the neighbors across the hall hate me for it. he’s always chasing me around campus when he sees me like ‘i need to study for my finals!!! not listen to tango music!!!”
  • the mental image makes you giggle and minhyuk extends his hand for you to shake and he’s like “it’s nice to meet you, neighbor who actually doesn’t hate me”
  • and you shake it and grin like “nice to meet you too, neighbor who i don’t actually hate”
  • and you guys both laugh this time and it’s really not awkward at all
  • finally, minhyuk’s twisted ankle is ok enough for him to get up and he mentions going back to practice but you’re like are you nuts no you’re gonna twist it again just go rest and minhyuk is like fiiiiiiine and you laugh and say that you’ll be going then
  • and as you shut the door to his apartment behind you, you notice this fuzzy warm feeling in your stomach
  • and you’re like oh no,,,,,,don’t,,,,,,don’t get a crush on him oh no o h no
  • but too late 
  • you get home and crawl into bed and all you can think of is that bright smile of his, his sweet voice,,,,,,,,plUS the fact that he works so hard not for himself but to be a good teacher for kids LIKE IS HE AN ANGEL
  • and you try to cover your face with your pillow and be like stop. thinking. about. minhyuk. 
  • but you can’t and tbh,,, on the otherside of the wall he can’t stop thinking about you either and you’re both lying in bed like two dweebs smiling to yourselves because “oh my god who know my neighbor was so DARN CUTE”
  • but again, you and minhyuk’s schedules are solar systems apart so you never bump into each other but then one day you hear a knock on your door and you open it to see this tall lanky looking guy with a book under his hand and a shorter more visibly excited guy and they’re both like
  • “minhyuk said you should come over, we’re playing a video game and we need one more person for our team”
  • and you’re like UH,,,,i don’t really game- but hyungwon is like “me either, yet these losers are making me so let’s go”
  • and that’s how you end up sqaushed into minhyuks side on his couch playing some video game as kihyun shouts at the screen and that guy hyungwon presses random buttons on his controller
  • and the other two, changkyun and jooheon are both about to chuck their controllers out the window
  • and it’s so crazy and loud and minhyuk leans over at some point and he’s like
  • “sorry to drag you into this mess, our friend shownu is picking up or other friend wonho from the airport after his study abroad and we need a minimum of six people so,,,,,” 
  • and you’re like AH don’t worry about it!! sorry i suck tho
  • and minhyuk is like “oh it’s because you don’t know the controls, here let me show you”
  • and you think he’s just going to take the controller from you, but instead he puts his hands over yours and he’s like “ok so you press X to dodge and then B-”
  • and you’re trying to concentrate by his hands are so warm and so big covering yours and you’re nodding absentmindedly but in reality you can’t hear anything he’s saying
  • not until you hear the door open and in walk in two more boys, one with a suitcase in hand and you look up and you guess this is wonho and shownu
  • and wonho is like “I’m back!! I see everyone’s the same - oh hello, are you minhyuk’s significant other?”
  • and wonho’s eyes focus on you and so does everyone elses in the room and you’re like UM
  • and minhyuk quickly takes his hands off yours and he turns cherry red and you’re like !!!!!! trying to gather your thoughts until you just blurt out “he’s my neighbor!”
  • and wonho is like huh do neighbors usually cuddle on couches like you two are??? and you’re like WE’RE NOT cU DD Li ng,,,,,,,but i mean you are practically halfway into his lap with minhyuks arm looped around your shoulders so mayb it looks like that but minhyuk is clearing his throat like ANYWAY HOW WAS YOUR TRIP
  • and that’s enough to distract everyone and you get up like i think,,,,,i should go?? and minhyuk’s like what no you should stay-
  • but you’re like bowing as you leave like iT WAS FUN BYE
  • and you’re back in your room so you don’t hear how all the boys abandon the talk about wonho’s trip and are like MINHYUK YOU LIKE THEM DONT YOU
  • and minhyuk is like yES BUT U IDIOTS RUINED IT FOR ME
  • but,,,,,,they totally didn’t 
  • because the next day as you’re heading for your weekly study group you bump right into someone and??? it’s minhyuk??? and you’re like “i never see you in the library??” and minhyuk is blushing again scratching his neck like,,,,”y-yeah but hyungwon knows this kid in your study group who knows you and they told me you’d be here anyway um i kind of want to apologize for you know,,,being a noisy neighbor and also for my embarrassing friends last night-”
  • and you’re like looking down at your book in your hands trying not to smile a bit because you can kind of tell where this is going
  • and minhyuk takes a breath and he’s like “-but also i came because i wanted to know if you maybe want to,,,,,,,goonadateliketogetsomeicecreamorsomething some time…..”
  • and you almost giggle, but you look up and you’re like 
  • “id love that. want to meet after my study group is over?” and minhyuk lights up like a goddamn christmas tree he’s like YES ill,,,,,be waiting
  • and you nod and head toward the table where your group is and minhyuk steps into a random aisle to do an excited little wiggle dance that the student next to him sees and is just like eyes emoji about
  • but yeah you and minhyuk do go on this little date
  • and you guys eat mango ice cream together and minhyuk talks about how he’s recently thought about quitting archery so he can make more time to apply for this job at a local dance academy
  • and you tell him about your studies
  • and even though your fields are miles apart minhyuk is still so interested and supportive of everything you’re telling him, like he’s more engaged than some of your friends when you tell him and like it always feels good to have someone acknowledge you
  • and minhyuk is that kind of person. he never lets a conversation die
  • and like you get your ice-cream even though it’s pretty cold out and minhyuk is like “are your hands cold??” because when you walk out of the cafe you’re blowing on them 
  • you’re like a bit,,,i think i shouldn’t have ordered a cone and held it-
  • and then suddenly minhyuk is taking your hands in his and slipping them into his coats pocket and he’s like ^^ is that warm??
  • and you’re like ohmy ogdo,,,,,but also you’re like yes ;; and you can feel minhyuks fingers link with yours in his pocket and you’re like 
  • gosh he’s so cute H O W 
  • and after that you two go on many more dates,,,even though sometimes your dates get interrupted by minhyuk’s many different friends (most of all though monsta x magically appears at the like movie you two decided to go to ‘by accident’ and won’t stop teasing minhyuk about how c*rny he is for taking you to a romcom but then you’re like shut up you all bought tickets to the romcom JUST to make fun of us but i saw jooheon cry!
    jooheon: sniffing DONT COME FOR ME blows his nose)
  • but you don’t mind minhyuk’s friends and you don’t mind minhyuks loud music, loud laugh, loud personality aT ALL in fact you adore it
  • because he’s so lively and nothing is ever awkward with him
  • minhyuk makes you feel like you’re always welcome to tell him anything
  • to put it simply minhyuk, very quickly, starts feeling like home to you
  • and speaking of home you spend like 50% of your time over at his apartment
  • instead of listening to him practice through the walls of your room you actually come over and watch him dance
  • and he’s always like ‘score me’ and you’re like ‘10′ and he’s like nOOOO u said 10 yesterday TOOO and you’re like sorry you’re perfect and i love you 
  • and minhyuk gets embarrassed like DONT say you love me so easily 
  • and you’re like “too bad: I love you I love you I love you I l-”
  • minhyuk shuts you up with a kiss and then covers his face like AH CANT BELIEVE I DID THAt
  • and you’re just giggling because it’s cute how he gets embarrassed of himself
  • but also minhyuk knows the perfect way to get you flustered too whenever he’s practicing he will sometimes pull you up on your feet and be like “dance with me!!”
  • and you’re like oh,,,babe no i SUCK 
  • but he puts his hands on your hips and tries moving you this way and that or holds your hands and twirls you around and you’re always like min!!!!hyuk!!!! but he just laughs until you go along with it
  • and you two get tired and collapse on his floor and minhyuk rolls over to smile at you with his sweaty hair in his face
  • and in that moment everytime you get this rush of emotions and you’ll move closer to kiss him a little more passionately than usual and minhyuk always kisses back
  • but he also pushes away first and curls up into an embarrassed blushy little ball and you pout becuase you’re like minhyuk come back,,,,,come back let me kiss you again !!! and maybe do more
  • and minhyuk is like oK but let’s get on the couch at least-
  • such a gentleman even when he doesnt have to be hehe
  • you once came over and you couldn’t find him and then you heard the shower running so you were like ok!! ill join him
  • and when you did you damn near almost gave him a heart attack but he was thankful and it was cute you washed his hair and shoulders
  • and also did some other things which i will not discuss in detail (-:
  • but yeah you think minhyuk looks the best in his sweatpants, dancing diligently along with the music
  • you can see the passion in his eyes and the love he has for it and sometimes he gets down on himself
  • because people pass him off as some kind of airheaded kid who probably doesn’t try hard in his studies
  • but you just hold his cheeks and kiss his whole face and you’re like “you know you’re going to prove them all wrong - you’re going to be a great teacher.”
  • sometimes you get texts from changkyun whose like “your boyfriends a lab safety hazard he almost lit the lab plants on fire” and you’re like “isn’t he charming <33333″ changkyun: “………..no”
  • minhyuk telling you random facts about your bones and like how they work and you’re just like lol imagine if all my joints were made of jello and minhyuk is like oh my god that’d be cool though
  • hyungwon: what the hell are you two talking about. like ever
  • but also you two are so heart-warming to see because minhyuk adores you to pieces and he’s vocal about it with his friends and sometimes someone is like “why are you smiling at your phone?” and minhyuk’s just like “im reading my conversation with y/n and they’re so funny and stunning and amazing and lovely and -”
  • you too tbh someone is like what do you like about your boyfriend and you have like a power point slide ready at hand you just
  • you both just love each other so much and so whole heartedly
  • the neighbor who complains about minhyuk’s music comes over one day pissed off and you’re just like 
  • apologizing on minhyuks behalf and you’re like “maybe we can go practice in my room since its further away?” and minhyuks like ok!!!
  • but it’s not the best idea because he almost knocks over your lamp and you’re like ,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • i love you but also back to your room if the person complains again we’ll just turn off the music and pretend we’re not here LOL
  • minhyuk keeps telling you that for your honeymoon he’s gonna take you to disneyland and you’re like first of all) honeymoon? since when-
  • and minhyuk blushes like YOURE RIGHT we’re only in college i shouldn’t push marriage-
  • but then you giggle and you’re like “ok, but you have to promise me we can take a photo with goofy. he’s my favorite”
  • and minhyuk just gets all smiley again like ok!! i promise 
  • minhyuk finally learns how to play a full song on the guitar and when he gently sings along with it in front of you you’re like ,,,,,,everything about you is so amazing already and now i found out you have the voice of an angel-
  • and minhyuk is like iM not amazing,,,,
  • but you’re like “hush come here”
  • and you like kiss him until he’s falling over and laughing against your neck 
  • and you two have the cutest inside jokes and weird nicknames for each other
  • and when you’re all out to eat one day jooheon is like “so……is minhyuk flexible (;”
  • and you’re like “yeah he’s a dancer” 
  • and jooheon’s like “yeah, i bet he has some crazy movies in be-”
  • shownu shoving rice into jooheon’s mouth: he meant to say doesn’t minhyuk have some crazy moves on the dance floor
  • you:
  • minhyuk:
  • you:………….yes jooheon he’s flexible in bed
  • the whole table: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • minhyuk: i love you so much but you’re so e M B A RR A S I NG 

college!vixx (here) & college!bts (here) & college!seventeen (here)

find special college!jb (here), college!mark tuan (here) college!youngjae (here), college!jinyoung (here) & college!jackson (here)

find special college!wonho (here) , college!im (here), college!hyungwon (here)

and please look forward to more special college!aus!

PLL 7x14 REVIEW

Not a bad episode, since Caleb wasn’t there my main reason to watch kind of disappeared. I feel like 7x14 was a fan theory I read somewhere lol. So here are my thoughts on the episode, spoilers ahead.

1. Ill start with something that really shocked me (no not Lucas yet…) but the fact they made Emily and Paige kiss. I get they want to satisfy all shippers but honestly how many people like them.

2. The baby is Emily’s, SHOCKER, Said no one on Tumblr ever. There are a million different ways to bring a ship together, THIS isn’t one.

3. Now its making me second guess Emison because its seems like Emily would only be staying with Ali because of the baby. Kind of sucks they need to bring in this kind of drama instead of just letting ships be together.

4. I feel terrible for Emily and Alison what a sick way to be brought together…

5. Have I mentioned yet that I miss Caleb, hope he having a nice recovery wherever he is.

6. I’m not even going to talk about Ezra because he should have been in jail like 7 seasons ago. BOTH Aria and Nicole deserve better then him.

7. If Ezra isn’t AD, in jail, or dead by the end of the show I’m gonna be mad. NOW I’m done talking about Ezra.

8. I KNEW Mary killed Jessica. They couldn’t reveal Mary as the killer at the time because we didn’t know about her. BUT YOU KNOW WHO DID KNOW ABOUT MARY?

9. Ted

10. Oh how I missed Hanna’s dad, oh wait he isn’t Hanna’s dad, even though PLL’s twitter account thinks he is.

11. Ashley and Ted aren’t together anymore? JUST LET THE MARIN GIRLS BE HAPPY!

12. NOOOOO Ashley slept with Jason (EWWW but hey, not incest) that’s why they broke up? OR was it because Hanna was in jail at the time… Okay Ted, I get it, I would leave that mess too.

13. I knew the second they walked up to that house it was going to be Ted and Mary was with him. OH AND Ted is Charlottes Dad, I mean why not at this point just make it Peter. No one would question it because he cant keep it in his pants.

14. No Ted, Hanna is no longer engaged but will be again very soon…

15. LUCAS I HAVE SEEN THROUGH YOU SINCE THE BEGINNING

16. Friends with Charlotte for awhile and went to a camp for troubled boys? AD is avenging Charlotte’s death AND WHO WAS FRIENDS WITH CHARLOTTE? LUCAS.

17. I feel so bad for Hanna though, another friend she trusted is AD, working for AD or hiding something from her and having different motives.

18. Can Caleb come back next episode to hug her at least?

19. Maybe Lucas liked Hanna because she reminded him of Charlotte? It will forever bug me that Alison was compared to Cece and Hanna was compared to Alison, yet no one compared Hanna and Charlotte. God I hope they aren’t related besides being almost step sisters.

20. Lucas’s girlfriend in season 5 is Charlotte IM CALLING IT!

21. AD FaceTiming, trying to be all modern and shit.

22. Namaste bitch girl is back for the most anticlimactic reveal yet

23. “Im AD” Yeah and Im AD too. Seriously WHO IS DRIVING THE CAR?

24. Aria is going dark behind the girls back. HEY at least she is making progress on an episode that includes Ezra. Imagine that, Aria can still do stuff when he is around.

25. But now because Aria is playing “on the winning team” Hanna has to go play again. Poor girl cant catch a break.

26. OH and have I mentioned Hanna should leave Lucas apartment because he is creepy and probably watches her sleep…

27. Cute Spencer and Hanna scenes glad they didn’t let the worst written love triangle get between them.

28. And Spencer slept with Marco because she felt bad for Toby? Okay. Why not.

Promo

29. MONA AND WREN ARE BACK IN 7x15

30. Mona is way too excited about the game,at least someone will be there for Hanna during her second turn. Since someone, not saying names (Caleb), wont be there AGAIN.

31. Maybe Caleb isn’t in the next episode because he is planning his proposal.

32. And someone is going to jail *crosses fingers its not Hanna. I would prefer a non jail themed wedding. BUT ILL TAKE ANYTHING.

33. And Marco is just now thinking the girls are involved. Rosewood only hires the best police.

TOP AD SUSPECTS

Lucas- no point in hiding it anymore, you’re involved. BUT JUST HOW MUCH?

Ezra- Honestly did nothing this episode, I just hate him.

Alison- Had some weird moments tonight. Not saying she is AD, just acting funny. Ill let her off because of the whole baby thing.

See you guys in two weeks (boo)

Namaste bitch.

jehanthepoet  asked:

I know you said prompts were closed but then you said you were writing something for Kevin so??? If you want: kandreil “I can’t believe you talked me into this.” But if prompts are closed just ignore this!

thank you! yes, sorry, it was for kevin’s birthday but im a little late. this is a) not good b) kinda cute?

“Fuck, Andrew, I can’t believe you talked me into this!” Kevin whispers as he walks tentatively. Andrew’s hands are covering Kevin’s eyes and it must be a funny image, Kevin thinks, Andrew walking on his tip toes, trying his hardest to cover his eyes despite their height difference. Kevin’s got his eyes closed just for good measure, “We’re in the middle of nowhere, I had to sit in a car for hours!”

Keep reading

College!AU Seungkwan
  • major: journalism 
  • minor: vocal performance 
  • sports: was on the table tennis team until their funding was cut 
  • clubs: campus journal - he critics music albums and reports on student activities (sports, musicians, events)
  • seungkwan is pretty well known on campus because he’s interviewed just about e v e r y o n e
  • anyone who heads a team or a club or organized a fundraiser/bake sale whatever like seungkwan has emailed them to talk about their activities 
  • and like his enthusiasm isn’t matched by anyone else in the major, like seungkwan will do the most to get a story and he’s never shy of approaching people or getting them to share what they know and like he’s a complete PERFECTIONIST when it comes to reporting because not a single thing can be a lie, he has to report exactly what he knows
  • and sometimes this can get on people’s nerves and people always whisper behind his back about his over-the-top nature but seungkwan could literally care less
  • sometimes seungcheol or hoshi will hear someone say something and they’ll be like “cheer up seungkwan, they’re just being assholes!” and seungkwan, whose eating with one hand and taking notes from one of his interviews with the other is just like “hmm? they said something? i didn’t even have time to hear them.”
  • and like his true passion is writing musical critique because aside from being a journalist, he’s also a practiced singer and even minors in vocal performance 
  • and every time the journal comes out the music section is the longest because seungkwan is passionate and yes he totally reviewed vernon’s secret mixtape and that one cover song jeonghan put up on his soundcloud and when both people found out their names were in the journal they were like sEUNGKWA N and he was just like 
  • “listen i gave you pretty decent scores, you should have seen how i tore about this other album-” and they’re like oh my god
  • and seungkwan has sent in a couple formal pieces to local magazines and things like that and he’s really hoping for an internship soon because just writing for the campus journal isn’t too big of a deal
  • especially considering the fact that almost every time someone joins the journal - they like drop it a semester in because the work that you actually have to put in is a L O T
  • the editor in chief also is like seungkwan maybe you shouldn’t,,,,be so hard on the newcomers you kinda scare them away
  • and seungkwan is like “just because i told ken his fiction piece about flying squirrels wasn’t that good doesn’t mean im being hard on people. it was a story about flying squirrels you guys.”
  • and the thing is seungkwan really does love his major and he really loves the act of reporting, of hearing people talk about things they love or things they hate, and being able to share that small snippet with the rest of the campus through his words - like that impact is the reason he’s so obsessed with putting out only perfect work
  • and so when the campus directors send the journal a letter about how if it doesn’t find new members it’s sure to lose its funding, seungkwan is beyond devastated 
  • buT MAN DOES IT RILE HIM UP AND He’s LIKE GUYS WE GOTTA MAKE FLYERS 
  • and everyone’s like “seungkwan that’s not gonna even wo-” and seungkwan’s already opening up photoshop and being like “comic sans would be a good font, but let’s be real helvetica is more classy.”
  • and that is actually how you meet intense journalist seungkwan, through some flyers and im not saying he hands you a flyer and politely introduces you to the student journal
  • im talking you’re running down the hall to the printing room and seungkwan is holding a wobbly pile of 100 flyers that all say PLEASE SAVE OUR SCHOOL JOURNAL on them
  • and once you two collide all those flyers come down like rain around you
  • and you’re hfowskdf oh my god im SORRY and seungkwan doesn’t even answer you he’s like “the flyers, pick up the flyers, the flyers, we’re ruined, the flyers, flyers, flyers, fLYeRS” and you’re like 
  • watching him try to gather everything with panicky hands
  • and you know you were running because you had to print something super fast because you were in class but you can’t leave him like this so you start helping him pick up the flyers and he doesn’t even notice
  • until you two are both out of breath, sweaty, each holding a crooked pile of papers and you’re like “here!!! sorry again, i hope none are ruined!!”
  • and he’s like “oh-” because he didn’t notice you were helping him he got too caught up
  • and then,,,like you two thought it was over riGHt but all at once it’s the end of classes and before you know it there’s a stampede of like students coming from this way and that and you and seungkwan are caught in the middle and their are elbows being pushed into you and peoples backpacks swinging at you
  • and seungkwan wobbles and once again….the papers going flying
  • except this time you guys cant hurry to pick them up, instead they’re stepped on and tore apart by people trying to get the hell out of the building
  • and when you look up at seungkwan you can see the Utter Defeat in his eyes and like you feel so bad that that just happened and you’re like
  • “,,,,,,,,im so sorry.” and he just sighs and as the crowd disperses he walks over to the wall and slides down against it and is like “it’s fine, it was a stupid idea anyway. who on campus even looks at flyers anymore?” and you’re like ): because like you’re not friends with seungkwan, but you know who he is and you’re like 
  • “i assume the flyers are about the journal?? is it closing??” and seungkwan explains that they’re gonna lose their funding if they don’t get more members and you’re like oh,,,,,im sorry
  • and he just shrugs and he’s like “it’s not like anyone reads that journal anyway.” and you’re like “i read it!! i especially like the music page, all your stuff is so in-depth and not half assed.” and seungkwan suddenly gets a hint of happiness on his face
  • and he’s like “really??” and you’re like “yeah!!! i even checked out that cover your friend did…..jeonghan? you wrote about it and when i listened to it, it was so relaxing!!”
  • and suddenly seungkwan perks up and he’s like “if you think jeonghan hyung sings well, you should listen to-”
  • and long story short you don’t ever print your thing and instead you end up talking for some time with seungkwan until once again he’s like “i really don’t know what to do about the journal.” and you’re like “i could try to join??;” and seungkwan thanks you for the sentiment but one new member probably won’t appease the school
  • and so you’re both standing there with frowns on your faces and seungkwan is like 
  • “it’s funny but i used to wish that someone in the journal would finally ask to write an article about me,,,,don’t you think that’s kind of selfish?” and he’s trying to laugh it off but you see that he’s faking and you’re like
  • “wait? are you also a musician?” and seungkwan bites back his lip and shakes his head
  • and he’s like “my sister and i both sang a lot when we were younger so i took up vocal performance as my minor because i like it a lot. i wouldn’t say im a musician, but ……it’d be nice to have someone acknowledge it once in awhile.”
  • and he like starts to get up and you’re like “wait.” and he’s like ??
  • and you  scramble to your feet as well and you’re like “let me do it. let me write something on you as a singer, at least for this last issue.”
  • seungkwan kind of looks at you flabbergasted and he’s like ????? do?????do you know what you’re signing up for???
  • and you’re like “hEY look midterms are over for the most part and aside from stuff i have to do for myself, i could devote some time to this. especially if it means a lot to you.”
  • and seungkwan for a second stares at you as if he still can’t believe you’re offering to do this
  • but then he takes your hand in his and is like “well, finally we’ll have another persons opinion in the music section!”
  • and you’re like giggling but you’re also like “just tell me a time when you’re free so i can hear you sing.” and seungkwan’s like here give me your number so i can contact you
  • it’s cute seungkwan’s background is the famous singer junsu and you’re like “oh” and seungkwan’s like LISTEN he’s my idol,,,,,,,, and his eyes get all sparkly it’s adorable
  • but yeah you give him your number and you’re like “ill look forward to it and ill do my best!!”
  • and then you figure out holy shit your class is over, you never printed your  thing time to run and see if the teacher still hung around for office hours
  • and like as you make your way down the hall, seungkwan holds his phone and he can’t help but finally feel a little better about everything 
  • and as he watches you disappear around the corner he reminds himself that he owes you a thank you when this is all over
  • and so a week passes and seungkwan texts you finally to meet him in the performance center on campus and he’s like “i booked one of the recording rooms!!” and you’re like cool let’s go
  • and like to be honest you’re sitting on the other side of the glass with your notebook out to maybe take notes like ??? really you don’t know what you’re doing here you’ve never written a review but you’re not like worried
  • but then, seungkwan who seems so shy putting on the headphones and adjusting the mic
  • like when he starts to sing the pen you’re holding literally drops from your hand because his voice???????
  • it’s the voice of a real Angel 
  • and from the moment he starts to the last second of the lyrics, you can’t help but just be completely wrapped up in his voice
  • and when he asks you what you thought of it you can only try to snap yourself out of it and ask him
  • “did you play a recording into the microphone? was that really you?”
  • and seungkwan puts a hand over his mouth to laugh and he’s like WHAT is up with your facial expression you look so confused
  • and you’re like “seungkwan, seriously why aren’t you a singer? why are you in college? why aren’t you selling albums with your face on the cover holy hell you sing better than anyone ive ever heard before???”
  • and seungkwan shrugs and he’s like “nahh, it’s just a hobby.” and you’re like if i had a hobby that i was THAT good at. i wouldn’t be here. i’d be trying to get jyp or sm to notice me hoyl HELL
  • and seungkwan comes out and he asks if you took any notes or have any criticisms and you’re like
  • “criticisms? this review im going to write is literally going to be like : BOO SEUNGKWAN OF THE JOURNALIST MAJORS HAS THE VOICE OF GOD”
  • and again seungkwan is just laughing because wow you’re so silly he’s not that good but like a sense of pride swells in him because no one’s really ever praised him so much like this before
  • and like he asks if you’d like to listen to him some more and you’re like yes please!!!
  • and it’s amazing he has such a good range and he even says he’s written his own original lyrics
  • and you two spend a good 6 hours in their together until one of the professors needs the recording room to teach and as you’re walking back onto campus you’re like
  • “seungkwan, what if……..you busk?” and he’s like “on campus?” and you’re like “sure, or even better like in the city? like whats a day you don’t have classes or club we could go out and set up in a park or somewhere and you could sing and maybe if we do it a couple of times we could scrap up some many for the journal???”
  • and seungkwan brightens up instantly and he’s like !!! that’d be so cool and you’re like right??
  • and you two start basically jumping up and down in excitement just talking about it and seungkwans like “maybe i could ask my friend joshua to come out and play guitar too??” and you’re clapping your hands like yes!!!! that’d be amazing
  • and seungkwan is like “you’re a genius, we should have thought of this SOONER” and you’re like ok ok text joshua and see when he’s free and then tell me so we can plan more
  • and it’s like really adorable because you and seungkwan, who met literally a week ago are talking like you’ve been friends for ages
  • and you get so happy at the thought of being able to help him and he gets so excited being able to share what he loves with you
  • and maybe neither of you know it yet but listen, this is the beginning of CRUSHES
  • and when seungkwan asks if you’re free tomorrow after 4 because joshua can come out then you’re like yes!!
  • the next day you’re leaving your dorm and your roommates like woAH you look so cute - going on a date? and you’re like huh??? no?? why does it look like i put in effort? and your roommates just like (—–: yes it does. is it for a bo-
  • and you’re like BYE GOING NOW
  • and you meetup with seungkwan and joshua near the subway station off campus and joshua introduces himself and when he turns to seungkwan he’s like 
  • “your significant other is really sweet, why didn’t you introduce them to me before?”
  • and seungkwan is like “oh they’re not - we’re not -”
  • and you’re like YEAH we’re nOT 
  • and joshua is like oh?????? really???? it’s just the way seungkwan was talking about you made it seem-
  • and seungkwan like jumps up to cover joshua’s mouth like HAHAAH so funny hyung let’s get on the subway
  • and you don’t notice it but joshua nudges you closer to seungkwan while you guys are squished on the seats on your way to the city
  • and seungkwan holds you steady when you get up to get off and the train jerks
  • and the whole time joshua’s looking off to the side like he’s on the office with the mOST SMUG EXPRESSION 
  • because you two are all cute and innocent, just like a young couple in love and you don’t even KNOW IT
  • and like once you get to the park you help joshua and seungkwan set up and you guys use joshua’s guitar case as a way to collect money and you’re basically in charge of attracting peoples attention so you run around asking people to gather around seungkwan because !!! hey hEY the best vocalist is about to perform
  • and like you give seungkwan a thumbs up after you manage to get like 15-20 people to come around
  • and when he starts to sing along with joshua’s guitar you can see the shock on the faces of the audience
  • and people even start getting their phones out to record
  • and sooner or later that crowd of 20 turns to a crowd of even more
  • and seungkwan is such a natural people person like in between songs he asks the people if they’re resting well after work and if they’ve eaten
  • and it’s like watching a soloists performance, he’s so professional and good
  • and people even ask if he has albums or a site where they could listen to him sing like a youtube or something
  • and seungkwan is like !! im not that great- but seriously everyone is complimenting him
  • and seeing him light up with happiness and bow in thankfulness it makes your heart beat with joy,,,but also
  • the smile on seungkwan’s face,,,,,,,it gets you so,,,,,,,soft
  • like you want to protect that smile forever
  • on your way back you count all the loose change and bills and you’re like it’s over a hundred dollars and seungkwan is like WHAT NO WAY and joshua’s like “im not surprised, you sounded really good seungkwan”
  • and you’re like “i told you!!! you’re so talented and lovely - people are bound to like you!!”
  • and seungkwan looks at you and he’s like,,,,, “lovely?”
  • and you kind of turn pink and stutter and you’re like “yEAH you know like idols,,,,,,,,,,very lovely your look,,,,,,you look approachable and nice and,,,,,”
  • and seungkwan is like “oh! you just mean im nice!” and you’re like mHMM!!! and joshua is like PFFT UHUH OK 
  • and so you accompany seungkwan a couple of more times when he goes out to busk
  • and by the end of the semester you’re sure you’ve raised enough for the journal to fund itself just a bit longer without having to get new members
  • and seungkwan is like “it’s time for our next issue to come out!!” and you’re like “can you wait to see what i wrote on you?” and he’s like HONESTLY NO
  • and so when the copies get made, seungkwan rushes to see and he’s like 
  • “why isn’t your piece in the review section, it’s just my review of vernon’s mixtape - where is -”
  • and you’re like “silly, look at the cover!!”
  • and seungkwan flips it back over and he sees that on the cover it’s a photo of him singing in the park, a photo you took and he’s like “wh-”
  • and he sees that the main story that was printed is about how his performances helped save the journal
  • and it’s written by you (with help from the journals members who all love seungkwan too) and it’s literally just you praising his hardwork and humbleness 
  • and ask seungkwan reads it you see him stop at the last line 
  • “….and somehow, this all made me fall in love with him.”
  • and he looks up at you and he’s like 
  • “is it true?”
  • and you can only looks to the side sheepishly like,,,,,,, “reporters shouldn’t lie? right?”
  • and seungkwan literally just puts the journal down and takes you by the waist and kisses you and you’re like oH!!
  • but it doesn’t stop there he’s just kissing you on your temple and your cheeks and your nose
  • and you’re like seungkwAN THE other MEMBERs of the JOURNAl Are WATHCING 
  • and he’s like OOPS but it’s cute they’re like “we’ll leave you two to it ^^”
  • and seungkwan is just like,,,,,, “i don’t know how or why i got lucky enough to meet someone like you who wanted to help me right from the get go, but god im so so so thankful”
  • and you’re like “im thankful too, to have meet someone so talented and passionate. you have the capacity to do anything seungkwan. really.”
  • and you two are looking into each others eyes and he leans in and he’s like
  • “right now, i want to use all that capacity to kiss you again.”
  • AND LIKE you two are the cutest thing ever seungkwan is so proud of dating you and he shows it off all the time
  • like literally a minute after he sends his mom an excited message about how he thinks he’s found the person of his dreams
  • he also mails her a copy of the journal as always and he’s like “here, do you wanna talk to my mom when i call her???” and you’re like isNT IT TOO early to talk to her like this,,, and seungkwan is like “no no she’ll love you i know it because i love you.”
  • and the journal is up and running ok and tbh seungkwan’s busking on campus has kind of made it pretty popular like more people are coming to meetings and submitting writing or songs 
  • and you even join but not really as a reporter but more as like an editor every now and then
  • and you’re the only person seungkwan trusts to show drafts too 
  • and like you’re his number one hype squad like you’re always like seungkwan your writing is so good, your singing is so good, your face is SO GOOD
  • and seungkwan’s like ‘i know my face is good because you keep kissing it’ and you’re like YOU’RE RIGHT
  • that background photo of junsu on his phone is replaced with a photo of you when you fell asleep on his shoulder after you two were coming in from the city after he busked
  • and one day he actually writes a song for you 
  • and performs it for the first time outside on the campus quad
  • and when he sings your name you literally fall to your knees with your face in your hands and like seungcheol and joshua and vernon and jeonghan are all elbowing you like AYEEE and it’s cute 
  • seungkwan serenades you when you’re a little pouty with him and you’re like STOP we’re in the cafeteria and he’s just in his sing-song voice like “i don’t care~~~ i love you~~~~”
  • sarcastically told jun off that one time he tried to ask you to get coffee with him since seungkwan was busy writing for the journal and literally it was like this;
  • seungkwan: if i had to do a review on your hair jun, i’d give it a bacon sticker because it’s so greasy.”
  • it hurt jun and he held a grudge for quite a while
  • as he is with reporting and singing, seungkwan is a perfectionist in dating 
  • and sometimes it’s a bit too much because if he takes you on a date and something goes wrong he blames himself and you’re like “baby, we don’t have to go see that movie. we can just go to the arcade.” and seungkwan’s like bUT i know you wanted to see that movie and you just pinch his cheeks and tell him that yes, but you also wanna kick his butt at dance dance revolution and that gets him fired up
  • you didn’t believe he was good at table tennis until you guys finally had a match and he won even though you guys played like 12 matches and you’re like seungkwan is their anything you’re not good at
  • seungkwan; hmmm im not good at resisting you?
  • depending on if you like to sing or not you and seungkwan do a duet during his busking one time and an elderly couple is just like “you two should hurry up and get married!!”
  • and you’re like blushing but seungkwan is like “my ideal wedding would be getting married on the beach at jeju, are you cool with that?”
  • you: seUNGKWAN we’re IN COLLEGE PL E A S e

college!vixx (here) & college!bts (here)

find college!woozi (here),  college!wonwoo (here)college!seunghceol(here), college!seokmin (here) , college!jun (here) college!mingyu (here), college!jeonghan (here), college!hoshi (here), college!joshua (here) & college!the8 (here)

find special college!jb (here), college!mark tuan (here) college!youngjae (here)

find special college!wonho (here) 

and please look forward to more college!seventeen + special college!aus

spirit!yugyeom

Originally posted by jackandjael

  • first off, yuygeom is a demon
  • jk jk he’s a lil shit but he is a form of spirit and demons are also technically spirits too, tho he isn’t one
  • yugyeom is a… special spirit
  • most spirits are kind of tied to something you know? and the most popular are elemental spirits and whatnot
  • well yugyeom is tied to a messed up ouija board
  • basically, somehow, he is now connected to this damn board and no matter how hard you try, the only spirit you can talk to is him and the only spirit you can summon is him
  • this board is sitting in an antique shop so yugyeom has been kinda dormant for a while
  • but one day, you come in
  • you were dared by your friends to get a ouija board so you could communicate with ghosts
  • if you could make it happen and record the experience, you’d pass
  • you hate your friends now
  • the number one thing you’re scared of is channelling a demon or some malevolent spirit or what the heck ever so knowing that there’s a good chance you will just. damn
  • what’s worse is that they requested you purchase a real one, aka an old one bc apparently that makes it all the more serious i guess
  • when you come into the fourth antique shop that day and spot it, you’re at the register and getting it rung up in record time
  • the little old lady who runs the place is super sweet and mentions how the board had been there since she was a teenager, and that many had bought it but many had taken it back, saying it was faulty
  • of course you’re intrigued and also this is your life on the line so you’re like what??
  • she giggles and is like “its kinda funny but apparently people are only able to communicate with one spirit using this board. i’ve heard he’s harmless but i should warn you, in case you were hoping to speak with your dead grandmother or something”
  • you raise your eyebrow but bid the old woman ado and head off home, ready to get this shit over with
  • at least if the spirit is “friendly” then you have nothing to worry about
  • your family is out so you head up to your room and pull out the board, dropping it onto your bed before you get everything ready, propping your phone up to record you as you begin
  • You do everything you’re supposed to, and then you go, “is anyone there?”
  • you’re expecting the planchette to move or better yet do nothing, so hopefully you can get this over with
  • and then
  • poof
  • you scream when a (admittedly handsome) teenage boy suddenly appears before you, legs crossed and his face in his palm as his eyes stay closed 
  • once you’ve finished screaming, the boy slowly opens his eyes and murmurs, “hey”
  • you’re not sure what to say
  • this is the only spirit you can talk to? dont the spirits usually stay in the board and talk through that? why did it appear in front of you like this, and bored looking nonetheless?
  • you blink for a bit, unsure of what to do next when the spirit sighs “if you’re not gonna ask me any questions, can you end the session? i was having a good dream”
  • “spirits dream?” you ask him, and his eyes rise to lock with yours before he shrugs “something like that. any who, what’s up? im yugyeom”
  • you tell him your name reluctantly, and he simply nods, thinking you’re about to ask him all the usual questions like “will i get married to (insert heartthrob here)?” ”will i ever get rich?” “who’s gonna win the Super Bowl?”
  • but then you go “my… my friends dared me to do this. t-to call a spirit and ask you some questions, so… um… why dont witches ride their brooms when they’re angry?”
  • yugyeom’s interest is piqued and he sits up, thinking long and hard to answer, “because… road rage?”
  • you giggle nervously, looking at the list of things your friends forced you to ask him “so they don’t fly off the handle”
  • you’re not expecting yugyeom to find it as funny as he does but he’s bent over laughing like you’ve told the best joke he’s ever heard
  • “tell me more!” he demands, eyes alight and all the boredom wiped off his face
  • quickly, you start listing off jokes from the top of your head, all of them tickling him in one way or another
  • you don’t even realize that your phone has died of battery or that it’s suddenly gotten late until you turn to grab your phone and see the moon high in the sky
  • “oh, i didn’t think we talked that long… I dont even think they’ll see you show up on camera”
  • “they won’t, but i can help you make it look like you did the dare, and prank them too”
  • you furrow your eyebrows and listen in and he grins, telling you to charge your phone and that you’ll find out soon
  • ten minutes later, you’re sat with the phone before you and the board out, yugyeom having disappeared from sight
  • he’s told you to ask the questions they’ve given you, and he’ll do the rest
  • once you’ve finished telling the first lame joke they’ve given you, the pillow on your bed flies across the room and starts hovering over your head, and its so unexpected that you react pretty well for the camera
  • yugyeom is grinning above you, having appeared above you with a finger raised to his lips
  • you have to bite your lip to keep from laughing as you continue to ask questions, and in response he makes the planchette move and gives you weird answers like “haunted horse party” or all out flips the board to appear like an angry spirit
  • he shuts off the recording in the middle of making it hover “in thin air”, and you’ve got your elaborate prank
  • “this is the most fun I’ve had in years” yugyeom laughs
  • “im gonna have to thank that old lady when i return the board”
  • you’re pretty surprised to see yugyeom’s expression turn sad and he just kinda pouts at you like a kicked puppy
  • you feel bad instantly
  • “you… can’t you keep me- i mean, the board? i promise im fun to talk to!! ill never possess you or anything… unless you want to be possessed by a spirit then i’ll definitely make sure we make a fair deal or something-” “yugyeom i can keep the board calm down” 
  • hes so happy and tells you that if you ever need someone to talk to you or whatever you can just take out the board and talk to him
  • you’re kinda surprised that you’ve unintentionally made friends with a spirit but hey, he’s cute and he’s almost definitely not going to kill you
  • so this goes on for a while
  • you lock yourself into the privacy of your room and take out the board and honestly you and yugyeom just hang
  • he tells you about all of the weird experiences he’s had with people who try to channel him and you sometimes use him to spook your friends bc its pretty funny ngl
  • he makes you into a lil shit too
  • sometimes you just open the ouija board and let him follow you around the house
  • he’ll bother your family, move things onto high shelves, take things and hide them in new places, and overall just entertain himself
  • you accidentally left the board open once and when a guy in your class came over to study he spent the whole time tugging on the guy’s gelled hair
  • when the guy went to the bathroom, yugyeom snuck in and made fog appear on the mirror before he wrote for him to “get lost or get possessed”
  • needless to say that guy ran away from your house and never talked to you again
  • “i dont like that guy” “oh wow, i didn’t notice with how you repeatedly whispered in my ear ‘i dont like this guy’”
  • technically, if you keep the ouija board open, yugyeom can go anywhere with you, but only so far or the connection gets kinda weak
  • so sometimes you take a backpack and open the board inside when you go places and you want him to be there with you
  • one time you took the board with you to a horror movie and sat it up in the seat next to you and people thought you were crazy but yugyeom was right next to you making fun of the fake ghosts
  • one time you’re really curious so you go “yugyeom, has anyone ever tried to release you?”
  • yugyeom is pretty shocked that you’ve asked and tells you that no, no one has ever cared abt him enough to stick around after the first few sessions, let alone to release him from the board altogether
  • you decide that you’ve formed a pretty strong relationship with yugyeom so you offer to let him out
  • yugyeom is really apprehensive and you are too bc obviously its dangerous and he doesn’t know what will happen to him if he is released
  • will people see him? will he inhabit something else? will he live a normal life or remain a spirit?
  • “i’d… think i’d like that. but i can’t promise that everything will go right afterwards”
  • you know, you’ve known for a while, but you want to try for him
  • you can’t help daydreaming of being with him in other ways bc he’s so sweet and really cares for you
  • he knows you so well its kind of crazy
  • you’ve even caught yourself day dreaming about kissing those pretty lips every time he laughs, or whispers in you ear late into the night
  • the fact that he has no problem being close and intimate with you already leaves you pretty flustered as it is
  • you’ve grown impossibly attached to this goofy spirit and if you can free him from the board, you’d love to
  • the only thing is that the only way to free his spirit from the board is to break it
  • either you’d free him or you’d lose him forever, and that’s what scares you
  • you make up your mind and summon him to get his permission, and when he gives you the go ahead with a shaky smile, you snap it in half with all your might
  • its silent afterwards
  • you don’t feel yugyeom’s warm presence like usual
  • you call out his name softly, sadly, thinking that you’ve done it and lost his spirit forever
  • your hands hold the broken pieces of the board and you’re moved near to tears now, knowing you’ve messed up for real and you’d never see yugyeom again
  • then two warm arms wrap around you from behind and you flinch, eyes wet as you turn to observe who’s there, and you smile when you make eye contact with yugyeom
  • hes grinning at you too, but something feels,,, off
  • its not like his usual, carefree smiles
  • his canines look a little sharper
  • his grip feels a little rougher
  • his lips a little more red than soft pink
  • his arms tighten that much more around your middle and you blink, your smile faltering as he says nothing
  • “y-yugy?” you ask softly, and you watch as his grin melts into something of a smirk
  • the smirk is different too bc unlike his usual playful smirks after he’s scared you coming out of the bathroom or pulled a successful prank on someone, it’s hidden with intentions you’ve never seen on him
  • it doesn’t fit the yugyeom you know
  • “you know… when they tell you not to play with spirits, you should probably listen” he says, his pupils glinting a blood red as his fingernails, no, claws dig into your hips
  • your hands shake as he twists you around, shoving you up against the nearest wall as one of his hands encircles your wrist and the other grasps your chin
  • you’re nearly shitting your pants at this point, staring at who you once thought was the kind, caring spirit that you’d grown to love
  • he leans in impossibly close, taking up all the air in your lungs as his breath fans across your lips 
  • his tongue glides out, licking his lips slowly before he whispers teasingly against your trembling mouth
  • “they might just be demons in disguise”
  • remember when i said he wasn’t a demon :)))) i lied

other ghost!got7

ghost!jaebum

ghost!youngjae

imaginary friend!mark

ghost!bambam

goblin!jinyoung

anonymous asked:

Spread some friendship and love 🌸 Give a shoutout to 5 of your mutuals and friends and say why you love them! Send this to 10 other people once you are done 🌼

😩😩😩 this hard but ill try, tbh i cant choose 5??? bc i love them all but as i say, i try:p
@girlsday ok but who wouldnt love them??? an angel!!!!!💞💕💘 no but really youre so so kind with everyone, it makes me warm:( i lov u
@parkesjimin we became mutuals bc im stupid and made a mistake but im glad i did bc youre so so sweet and i lov your blog a lot!!!, and i wish we could talk sometime but im shy😩, 💕💞💘 i love u!!!
@crybymblaq one of my faves,, we dont really talk that much, but youre so funny but also kind and cute!!!, and i always feel happy when i see u in my dash!!!, i love u a lot!!!💞💕
@jenniedeukie im fake and bad at answering messages and youre always so so cute and sweet about it, and youre also kind and really fun to talk with, i lov u!!!💞

@transboywonho ok but rina?? the owner of my heart tbh💞💕💘😩 i lov u so mu ch u dont have idea, youre the cutest i lov u so much!!!💘💕💞 also u know what??? why it has to be 5??? im in the mood for this im gonna do more than fivejxnekxne @yvra we dont really talk much but youre so sweet and kind and soft, i love u!💞💕💘 @ilujoy youre an angel!!!✨💛✨ always so kind and sweet and soft and im 💕💞 everytime i see u in my dash, who wouldnt love u tbh!!! …i wanted to put more but its 1:00 am and im getting sleepy😩😴… just gonna @ them to let them know that i love them and i that i get really happy and soft when i see them in my dash and that if any day they come to my house just to fight me i wouldnt even get mad i would say thank u tbh 💞💕💞💓💖💕💞💓💖💕💞💓💕💖💓💖💕💞💓💖💞 @jongjn @furryeols @hobisnovia @4soju @bipjm @whistlc @joyies @softbaeksoo @parksoijn @7uju @hyoyu @ohsehunpai @yiffxing @poutypjm @subaek @qajah @jins-chin @yvesaintluhan @whyuna @safesins @euhtak @4jimn @shesababymv @bgyuna @taebb @jungkooksweetheart 💞💓💞💕💞💓💞💕💞💖💓💓💖😍💞💓💞💕💞💖and im on mobile and 😩 i feel bad bc tbh i love all my mutuals,,, but im really sleepy rn 😔😴:(, but as i said i lov all my mutuals a lot :’)💞💖💕💞💖💕💐🌻🌸🌺✨💌💖

Every Single Rupauls Drag Race Queen Ranked from 1 to 100 by David Mason
You will notice as thece list goes it runs from HARSH to KIND being that we go from people who are wasting our time and perhaps not living an honest fantasy but trying to be something they FEEL they’re SUPPOSED to be and talented artists who capture us as they reveal beautifully honest selves which bloom from their unconscious.
The Top 25 are ICONIC GOLD and are identities who hold their own amongst all the queens. They are APEX PREDATORS and each could arguably be made number one depending on each persons values. This is MY list and therefore it reflects my values and needs.
100. Phi Phi O’Hara Shes actually the worst for being a horrible person who cant figure out why shes terrible and thats the worst part. I actually BOOED her in public when I saw her. Is it wrong to not like someone just because they were born??? I think it probably is BUT I dont like Phi-Phi because when they showed her mom her mom was like 26 and I just thought YUCK, unplanned pregnancy is just TACKY and I wouldnt have to deal with you if your mom just had the balls to own her own body and be responsible and kind to the Earth and abort you but apparently the apple doesnt fall far from the (say this in Goldie Hawn from Overboard voice) “short, fat, slut" and you come from a long line of short selfish inconsiderate people. Phi-phi is the best case as to why Planned Parenthood should be next to every McDonalds.
99. Kenya Michaels : Oh god Im disturbed by her. She was like that little doll from Trilogy of terror. I found her strong sexual identity so uncomfortable as it was just too obviously a defense mechanism from being a tiny rapeable person from a third world territory. Thats AWFUL to say but Im sorry its just what I saw. I didnt find it funny or sexy. I found it awful and cringy. Its NOT a reason to not like a person but it is a reason as to why I dont want to see her on my tv bending over and WAGGING HER TWAT at me. I dont want to celebrate her complex attempt at molestation management, Im sorry. Lets hope this is me just projecting. I know this is too much for the SECOND entry but Im just saying what I felt. I wish shed read a book instead of just GOING WITH THE SEX THING.
98. Kandy Ho: What gross name, what a skank not even a good skank like Samantha Fox, just a shitty skank.
97. Phoenix: Who? I really have to speed through this list I have to go to the gym.
96. Madame LaQueer: Id put her at 99 but I feel bad for her. Im a nice person.
95. Alisa Summers: i have no idea who this person is
94. Penny Tration: Oh fuck you for that stupid name. Get the fuck outta here.
93.Vivienne Pinay: Why did she think she was pretty or passable or fishy or WHAT? All I saw was “Hi, Can I get the lunch special? I’ll have tai Iced tea with Rad Prik Chicken and coconut soup. Thank you.”
92. Venus D-Lite: Venus is who I think of when I think of queens that dont matter. I didnt even say that to be mean. She just is.
91. Jaidynn Diore Fierce: ??? oh she was the one I think should be named PEANUT.
90. Naysha Lopez: What plane of consciousness thought this person needed to be seen?
89. Sasha Belle: Awkward entry! Rip off Mugler Chimera dress. HERES A TIP PEOPLE, dont try and copy the most amazing well made dress in the world that cost 300k to make and 900 years of 900 year old Parisian couturiers to make. I PROMISE YOUR VERSION WONT BE AS GOOD. If youre going to copy something also make sure said reference has a TEENSY bit of wiggly room for either styling OR improvement. The Mugler Chimeira dress does NOT. Stop looking at it, you cant have it.
88. Akashia: Maybe the first person to fall on the runway??? I dont know? I dont remember her exactly
87. Rebecca Glasscock: I went shopping with Ru once at Saks and a sales girl came up and said “Rebecca works here now!” Ru went from Cafe au lait to FISHBELLY faster than she could mutter… “Rebecca is here?…….now?” thank god the girl was like “Not today”… Cocoa pallor regenerated, shopping recommenced. Rebecca must have been INSANE.
86. Honey Mahogany: Who and Why and whatever….
85. Derrick Barry: Nope.
84. Robbie Turner: I wish you were Tina Turner
83.Cynthia Lee Fontaine:The cowboy look was like a THANKSGIVING revelation that GRANPA IS A CROSS DRESSER?!?!
82. Darienne Lake: Dip into the cool water of Darienne Lake was the best thing about her and that was Rus doing so.. BYE and shes from like Rochester or some shit. YUCK mid/western New York is SKANK.
81. Ginger Minj: Just everything I don’t appreciate.
80. BeBe Zahara Benet: She won season one and I think the prize was 10k and it shoulda gone to Nina.
79. Bob the Drag Queen: After the extraordinarily beautiful Violet won. The audience of sheep were put off by their inability to relate to her because they just arent as good as her so the next season they wrote the season about having a “peoples princess” win and that why we have SHITTY BOB the person who shouldnt have ever been invited. Whats WORSE and MORE ANNOYING is the LATENT worship of Violet after they realized JUST HOW GOOD SHE WAS ONCE THEY SAW BOB and Im sitting here with my fists clenched screaming YOU IDIOTS THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT?!?!?! Bobs season was the worst.
78. Delta Work: Shes the drag queens drag queen. Shes too bitter for tv though. Same reason as to why Jackie Beat isnt on tv, too sour for tv, but thats ok. There is certainly somethig to have the cache of being the type of queen you have to go out to see. When she botched the comedy challenge I felt for her. I could really relate. She has the comic ability and you could just hear the inner dialogue of self sabotage running in her mind. It sucked. Thats one of my challenges too.
77. Thorgy Thor: Funny smart queen that I like. Tv isnt a format that suits her.
76. Sahara Davenport : A sweet soul.
75. Yara Sofia: Ick… The best example of LEARN TO EDIT. Her styling is THE GOOP SHOW. You know how some people just have BAD VIBES? I just dont want her around me. I dont see her vibes swirling in a direction I wanna head towards. I kinda hate dreads, Id lie and not say it to sound cool but there just unsavory to me. Patchouli.. thats what I smell when I see them in my minds eye.They just make me ask.. Why do you deliberately choose to be kinda not so clean? Its some romantic notion I don’t prescribe too. Im not earthy in that way. Im Earthy in a watermelons are fierce kinda way.
74. Kelly Mantle: This person is not Christine Baranski! Why are you telling me youre related to a baseball player like Im supposed to care?
73. Magnolia Crawford: ahahahahahahahahahah… that poor homosexual. He MIGHT be more disliked than phi-phi. THAT NOSE gets points.. it HAD to be a critique on nose contour right?! Does anyone ACTUALLY know her?! I feel like this might be some weird dare that a straight guy did and made it on the show. It was all so WEIRD?!
72. Jade. I really dont remember a damn thing but kinda thought she was a nice person maybe??? errr ummmm I just shrugged my shoulders to myself.
71. Lanaysha Sparks: She was quite lovely and even surprisingly talented on the craft contest but not knowing who Diana Ross is and your a drag queen is SATANISM. Poor bitch is from Puerto Rico, do you now Puerto Rico is twice as poor as the poorest state? That sucks.
70.Laila McQueen: Is this an OSBORNE CHILD?? Had she been on previous seasons she would have faired better. Seemed like a kid Id hire as an intern and could trust.
69. Serena ChaCha Oh my god Serena snook right by me?!?! AHAHAHAHAH Serena! Worst look of ALL TIME. how was SHE an art school student?! I cringed when she said that as Im an art school kiid and was like NO NO NOPE TAKE IT BACK CLOSE YOUR MOUTH! Serena was the victim of QUEEN ON QUEEN GANG BULLYING and what was worse is AMERICA BACKED THE GANG RAPE. It was like that scene in The Dark Crystal when the Skeksi looses the sword challenge and they all tear the clothes of him and banish him! Alyssa WENT IN on her….Coco even got a piece of Serena that day! Serena is lucky to be alive.
68. Jasmine Masters: Im disturbed by my own ability to impersonate Jasmine Masters. Its not THAT GOOD but its better than a 225lb Pollock should be able to do. Her Slinky worm routine makes me GIGGLE. She is ANGRY……BLACK RAGE which I kinda appreciate in a way. I get it. I have gay rage so why cant she have BLACK RAGE?!
67. Tempest DuJour awww tempest.. We all like Tempest. Kinda funny shes a costume design teacher though no? She gave my husband a shirt and my husband wore it for her all day in Provincetown because my husband is like the sweetest person ever. I mean people were like “TEMPEST DU JOUR?!” they practically SPIT on him and he still wore it and he tagged her in the photo and she didnt even regram lolololol My poor husband, I love him so much.
66. The Princess: I made a comment about the Princess’ look being shitty on Instagram once and all her fans went APESHIT. It was the two nastiest messages I ever deleted.
65. Monica Beverly Hillz I shoulda put her farther back. She was not so great.
64. Vivacious: Awwww the old battle axe of drag. I support her endaevor but her looks were so dated. I do however respect her respect for the art so…
63. Lashauwn Beyond: That name is so real. You can say she sucks but you can also say shes the spirit of drag taking you “up" so let her be.
62. Mrs. Kasha Davis: WOAH boy did she sneak by me?! She must have got here EARLY and just WAITED. She sucked so hard you kinda loved her for being honest. Kasha was like your olde gay neighbor whos taste level sucks but you respect her because she went through the AIDS crisis and is still smiling. Not even kidding.
61. BenDeLaCreme: I just did not like her.
60. Pandora Boxx: Oh god Pandora. Did you see that Unicorn video she made… bless this bitch.
59. Shangela Laquifa Wadley: Shangela was just cheap. Shangela is like the same taste level as like Paula Abdul, Mad Tv, Khols, a Sketchers Sneaker… I just never like what she does. I dont need it. Its poor person humor. Just because you say something LOUDLY doesnt make it more funny. ( as I type in CAPS)
58. Roxxxy Andrews: This poor bitch dug a damn hole… You know shes not likeable because she was shadey but she was more talented then anticipated in the creative challeges, and I thought she had nice skin. My husband HATES HER.
57. Kim Chi: One note. Refrigerator being pushed down a runway. I actually dont like her for not having the courage to be out to her parents. Its insulting to the rest of us. Buck up bitch, your mom already knows, shes known since you were 2. The fact you think she doesnt know is INSANE. Your non outness renders any talent moot.
56. Adore Delano: Thanks but Ive been to Hot Topic, NEXT.
55: Acid Betty: I don’t remember much about the 00S BUT I STILL REMEMBER THOSE WIGS.
54. Courtney Act: Ok sure, but wheres the interesting part???? Her finale dress that was like rainbow hologram acetate was cool and nobody even mentioned it.
53. Trixie Mattel: I tried so hard to be nice to her in Provincetown and she was a cunt. Why are you a cunt to someone being NICE to you?
52. Coco Montrese : I could say mean shit but I wont. shes worked long and hard and deserves a clap. Shes not even a cunt. shes out of touch but shes from another world. Respect your elders.
51. Dida Ritz: Talk about out of touch. Her weird self loathing “Im a white girl” routine turned me into Jasmine Masters?! Like EWWW NO, learn to love yourself BITCH. We all know she did one of the best lip synchs ever.
50. Stacy Layne Matthews: Wait shes NOT black?!??? She was from BACK SWAMP, that gets TREMENDOUS “SWAMP CRED” She was so fat her hormones were just like “WHATEVER.. theres simply "NOT ENOUGH of us to go around?! WE DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO.. What do you wanna be today??? When was the last time youve seen your genitals because are you SURE youre still a male?? We dont know and could use some DIRECTION?!” and I appreciate that. I like people who are just like IM WHATEVER. Not everyone has to be a male or a female you know.
49. Jade Jolie: Jade is surprisingly the fishiest queen in my opinion. I saw her at the premiere party before her season started and we honestly thought she might be BIOLOGICAL. This holds some cache in an art of trying to be a woman at least SOMEWHAT. She made the unfortunate mistake of becoming Alyssas ENEMY which at the time was ACTUALLY kinda necessary because if you remember when Alyssa first started she was not the Alyssa we know and love and was kinda of a cunt who needed to get CLOCKED. BACK ROLLS has now been mutters a million times by ME ALONE and lets be honest WERE ALL now VERY CONSCIOUS of our back rolls now. I even got COOL SCULPTING and yes it worked. It works if youre like semi normal with a slight love handle or backroll but not if you have a spare tire because then its just like removing a brick from a wall, and no it didnt hurt, but get it done in Florida because procedures are cheaper there. Florida is basically LAWLESS, they also gave me a VITAMIN DRIP as I did it. That is not legal in NYC.
Jade had horrible style and made what looked like NAZI MATRIX PORN but dont imagine that in a good sorta Night Porter chic Nazi way. Imagine it as a black vinyl raincoat that that greasy haired kid in high school who wasnt allowed to be a faggot because you already had that role and did it better so he sorta segued into FETISH GOTH would have and now imagine him filming himself masturbating with a NON APPLE iPhone to a Marilyn Mason poster… That was her porn.
48. Sonique: Sonique is responsible for one of the wisest self realizations to ever surface on RPDR to me. After getting the chop she said something along the lines of “Well I guess theres more to life than being better than everyone.” YUP. Stop competing, life isnt a competition. You do you and thats your challenge, forget about everyone elses storyline.
47. Mystique Summers Madison: DANGEROUS PERSON but such good TV. To me it seems Mystique has the kind of tongue that can only tell lies, which is sad because that means she thinks whatever the truth is is so terrible she has to come up with an alternative. Thats unfortunate. That said I dont want her in my home. If she lies to herself and others this means she feels she doesnt have to play by the rules and probably steals. Did I just imagine her a thief? Yes, I did. I imagined her at a party at my house slipping one of my Versace candy dishes in her pocket WITH THE SOUR PATCH KIDS STILL IN IT.
46. Gia Gunn: Gia to me really is the sorta line between the queens you care about and the queens you take the opportunity to go get a drink while they come on stage. I took my two assistants on that Drag Cruise as a present and I cant remember what exactly happened but somebodies sneakers were TEMPORARILY ABDUCTED and Gia was UNNFUCKED and SURLY ABOUT IT. Gia on the show was half gross and half awesome. I feel shed LIKE to be nice but has so much DEFENSIVE ANGER she can’t. Its a mistake as shed be much more successful if she got over that. She really feels herself despite having a wonky eye, really short legs, and likening herself to Talapia and aligning herself to TIM GUNN??? Your fashion references are from TV????!… OH GURL… NO!.… I like her though. Shes a talented performer. I feel like Gia is that friend you have thats sorta like a bad dog on leash. You have to be careful with them when around kind people but theyre also helpful because theyre more than eager to be the bad guy if someone is bugging you. We all have that friend and theyre kinda fierce.
45. Mariah. Mariah walked into the room first episode and I thought DAMN shes FIERCE… and then she never looked that good again. If I was just going by tv, which Im 98% going by shed be placed lower BUT I saw her on that drag cruise and her performance was PERFECT. It was CLASSIC DRAG but executed flawlessly and she was nice when we got stuck in the elevator with her. I feel like she thinks she has to be mean or fierce or whatever when shed actually be more well received if she was the person I saw on the cruise who was down to Earth and chill.
44. Milan: Milan is one of the few New York Queens that Ive ACTUALLY SEEN OUT. These other queens im always like NEW YORK? NEW YORK WHERE?!? Im a third generation new Yorker who has lived here 18 years on my own and Ive never seen most of these queens who claim to be from NYC. Milan is nice and a talented performer. I was never into her drag because shes real STAGE oriented and real JULIARD STYLE ( I dunno if she actually went there) and thats just not my interest but she at least TRIED.
43. Dax ExclamationPoint: I feel Dax sorta made a mistake pigeon holing herself as “Queen of the nerds”, as soon as someone claims identity of something on camera queens for some reason HATE IT. I imagine its some kind of projected self loathing as gays are trained to hate themselves. Like how dare YOU assert yourself as something, you CANT do that youre a faggot. I seriously think this is the unconscious voice in 98 percent of gay guys heads and its why so many are self sabotaging or drug addicts and why there is no such thing as a gay gay icon and even kinda why DRAG EXISTS AT ALL. We cant like ourselves because straight society taught us to hate ourselves so we put it all onto a fantastic woman. Dax seems like a nice person who doesnt have that insane person need to “win” and therefore really shouldnt have been on the show as she just got used as sacrifice for hungrier queens.
42. Kennedy Davenport: Wait did I already do Kennedy Davenport because I really didnt like her??? huh I guess I didnt. Well maybe my unconscious mind liked her more than my reptile ego did and she got placed higher than anticipated. How can you hate on a hard working talent who has a retarded sister she has to support?! Jesus christ give the bitch a tip and never do less than a FIVE when tipping queens people A DOLLAR IS THE SAME THING AS A QUARTER!
41. India Ferrah: Oh god I worry saying mean things about India because I dont want to hurt her feelings as worry that she TEETERS ON SANITY but she to me is what drag is WHEN I DONT LIKE DRAG. Her “combat contour” is brutalist to the point of being vulgar. To me her styling concept is PUT EVERYTHING YOU OWN ON NOW BECAUSE MAYBE WE NEED TO RUN OUT THE DOOR AFTERWARD. I mean its the 8 foot braid with a giant bow, and the top hat, and the body stocking, and the thigh high boot, and the breast plate, now a giant necklace to cover the edge of the fake boobs, now put a spider SUCKLING THE TIT of the breastplate, oh wait I have TWO BOOBS and I NEED ANOTHER SPIDER, now add a couple jewels to the eyes of the spider OH WAIT spiders have six eyes so add four more… now what about belts, I only have TWELVE….
40. Mimi Imfurst: OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! She fucking CAPTURED India ferrah like some kind of MOUNTAIN TROLL?!?!? That was one of the most amazingly insane moments on TV ever! Then when Raven WENT IN on her in All Stars …omg I have that segment saved on my phone and just watch it when I need to feel “myself” again. Mimi on the cruise actually did the best read on the Michelle Visage roast. Shes smart but lets her inner voices get the best of her. We all have inner voices but I feel chubby people are chubby because the voices are louder. Im not even saying it to be a dick but it seems like with people who suffer from body issues LIKE ME the inner voices are so LOUD you can see them reacting to them on their face. Hang around me long enough and you’ll totally see this. This is called being a function insane person!
39. Morgan McMichaels: Ahhh the Morgan McMonkey! Did you know shes actually Scottish, like from Scotland? That didnt come off on the show. Ok Morgan to me is interesting because as a person Morgan is just not my kinda person, she even has a SUPERMAN TATTOO and you know how much I hate Superman as to me he is the OPPOSITE OF CREATIVITY and a HERO TO SHEEP but that does NOT discount her talents. Ive seen her perform live and shes VERY good. Do I want to hang with her NO, is she a solid talent YES. I met her once and she tried to tell me she doesnt eat pork because PIGS DONT HAVE KIDNEYS. She said this while chain smoking cigarettes and drinking heavily… hmmmm. I dont even know how to organize the judgements I have. All this said I feel if Morgan was your friend you could trust her and shed definitely not be afraid of taking a hit to defend you.
38. April Carrion: She is the best example of being chopped too soon. Shes very talented and pretty and makes her own looks and I respect her abilities. She had more to offer as Ive seen other looks of hers and they were good. Too much of a shrinking violet to survive a comepetition. Shes quite lovely Im surprised she hasnt got some rich old benefactor.
37. Nicole Paige Brooks Oh my fuckin god Nicole Paige Brooks?!?!? Nicole is so important as she is SO MANY THINGS. Nicole is the ESSENCE OF REGIONAL TALENT. She is THE small town coke head faggot drag queen WE ALL KNOW. My mom would have had her on PROBATION. The spirit that has possessed Nicoles body is an ancient spirit which haunts every rural gay bar! Remember how she had the hots for Raven and also had FRECH TIP TOENAILS?!…That BODY built EXCLUSIVELY by COCAINE. Ugh.. Ive never even seen Nicole but I know her sooo well. Nicole has that IVE BEEN TO PRISON and ALSO HAVE CHILDREN and ALSO HAVE A CLOSETED BLACK BOYFRIEND vibe that is SO PURE. Nicole is the queen who marches in the regional gay pride parade wearing flat sandals and a bikini and ACCEPTS TIPS while she does it! Nicole might also work at BEST BUY when “O.D” (out of drag). and when in drag theres also the worry that she might ACTUALLY O.D. Nicole is important.
36. Carmen Carrera: Ok Carmen is from Jersey where its NOT EASY to be a gay soul. Carmen once tried to tell me its ok that straight guys call you a faggot there because its not an isult its just what you are… EEEESSSSHKKK That is some HARDCORE Stockholm Syndrome. I could say more but its none of my damn business. Im not crazy about Carmen because I think shes made some choices based on where shes from but thats none of my damn business so I’ll shut the fuck up. To me Carmen is an example of an unfortunate situation. Ive had to deal with those hardened Jersey boys as a kid and as a tender gay boy its NOT A NICE THING and it would have been easier for me if I was just a girl too. Yes shes pretty, I wish her happiness. If I was raised where she was maybe I would have killed myself. In a way she sorta did I guess but also rebirthed herself.. maybe I need to give her more credit.
Im going to add this. Most of us have to deal with being a "faggot” in a straight world and deal with it however we choose. I for example fetishisize it as for me its a safe place thats at least exciting as its FIERCE to have your hot husband call you a faggot as he bangs your puss hole out. At least that way youre dealing with the anxiety in a safe place and its HOT its also a lot easier than getting a sex change, pretending it never happened, and siding with your abusers in an effort to make the best of a bad situation. Maybe Ive made the wrong choice, see instead of siding with them and changing my sex I went punk and just write horrible things about them on St Patricks day and work out a lot so I can intimidate them on the street. SIDENOTE I have NEVER had someone make an anti gay comment to me when they’re by themselves, have you ever noticed that? The comments are only made when youre out numbered… fuckin pussies.
35. Jiggly Caliente: Jiggly is real.
34. Victoria “Porkchop” Parker: Porkchop must be worshipped as she was sacrificed for all our sins.
32. Ivy Winters: Nobody ever put it together that Ivy Winters looks almost identical to Grace Jones AND Jean Kasem. That is POWERFUL MAGIC. Too bad she didnt know it either because if she channeled that spirit she could have won this thing so damn easy.
31. Pearl:
31. Tatiana: The day Tati steps away from low brow nineties references and learns to kick is the day Tati advances much farther. She NEVER uses her legs and her legs are AMAZING?! I wish she woulda had the self confidence to get tougher on Raven when Raven attacked her on her season because it was so clear that Raven was operating out of total jealousy being both have great beauty but for Tati it was effortless and for Raven its four hours of incredibly skilled painting. Tati was too green to have that wisdom. If she had it…ooooohhhhh it woulda been FUHEEEEIRCE!
30. Laganja Estranja: Oh god… I dont have the mental capacity at this point to go into the psyche of Laganja…Laganja is so important. Laganja is the litmus for bad faggotry because shes ACTUALLY TALENTED, shes got an amazing body, but OH GOD shes a nightmare. You can tell her parents felt guilty and coddled and spoiled their baby gay into a place where the only way she now knows how to operate is to be a needy indulged victim. Her comedy routine with the old people was a SURREALIST MASTER PIECE. Get off drugs laganja, they dont make you cool and needing the crutch of a vice does not a personality make.
29: Jinkx Monsoon: Does anyone else remember how bad she was at the beginning of her season??? She got the ONLY edit and they spun her into a storyline where theres was no way she could loose. Ive seen this storyline somewhere and it was called PRETTY IN PINK. They basically realized she both Molly Ringwalds character AND the Ducky character at the same time and spun a storyline for her to win because they hadnt a queen like her yet. She is talented, not my kinda talent but whatevs, to me shes the MACARONI ART of drag. She woulda been my friend first year of art school but then you have to change schools because you find out she has a crush thats a touch much on you and its weird because you thought you were just good friends.
28. Tyra Sanchez: In person I think Tyra might be the most beautiful of all the queens actually. You won’t believe this but its true, she’s a stunner. Too bad she just wants to be the best Beyonce, and not the best Tyra. Tyra, you be TYRA because Trinity K already does a waaaaaaaaay better Beyonce to be honest and youre actually so good on your own if you just owned YOURSELF youd be extraordinary. Its a shame she doesnt have the insight or desire to be HERSELF. Isnt that INSANE??? Its why nobody likes her, because SHE doesnt like her?!
27. Alexis Mateo: When you read her name do you also read it with a lisp? I do! Alexis is a sweet person whom I really appreciate and is also a victim of the pageant system. Pageant girls suffer from not fully grasping why the pageant system is bad. Ladies, we dont think YOU are bad, we think youre victims of a horrible oppressive system that wishes to put women into a structure of something like a DOG show. THIS IS DEGRADING NOT ONLY TO YOU BUT TO ALL FEMALES. It attempts to organize the female sex into ONE SINGULAR IDEAL based on the values of MEN and thats FUCKED UP. To organize females into ONE SINGULAR IDEAL is HORRIBLE and ROTTEN. It DEVALUES any ability that men might see as something THEY have to deal with and DENIES ABILITIES and STRENGTH to women creating an oppressive structure for females to operate in. Its GROSS, dont buy into it, its not cool!
26. Shannel: I know you dont agree but Shannel is important. Shannel wears VON DUTCH HATS. Shannels best friend is the WHISPERING FACE in the mirror that tells her to believe insane things. Shannel has THE BEST EYES of all contestants. Shannel belongs to a mentally ill race of people known as SHOW FOLK. Shannel thought JUGGLING while walking down the runway would be IMPRESSIVE. Shannel paid FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS for that garment and Shannel paid TOO MUCH. Shannel WAS NOT ELIMINATED… SHE CHOSE TO LEAVE!….. Shannel is important.
OK the TOP TWENTY FIVE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. These are the APEX PREDATORS!!! Have you noticed as the list has gone on the comments have gone from VENOMOUS and PUNISHING to RESPECTFUL ACCOLADE and thats because as the list goes the talent increases and Im grateful that these people are inspiring, not wasting my time, and are championing values that need to be championed! When I typed this I just got so excited I moved my ENTIRE BODY on top of my little clear desk chair and Im sitting here typing like a GARGOYLE! Every single one of these queens are a WINNER and I mean that. Im not just saying this shit, each one of these queens is a SOLID ARCHETYPE and depending on your own values you could place most of them in the top five and have a SOLID ARGUMENT. This list however is MY opinion and MY VALUES so this is much more about ME than THEM of course. Honestly every single queen on this entire list is a talent and deserves respect for making the effort!… yes even Phi-phi. To be in the top twenty five however means you can STAND YOUR GROUND AND OWN YOUR OWN CROWN. Remember this is MY list. Youll understand reading this list I value creativity and HEIGHT more than anything. Being fishy doesnt count for much to me and if youre dumb and dishonest it aint gonna work out…. Here are THE MOST IMPORTANT QUEENS OF RUPAULS DRAG RACE!!!
25. Jessica Wild: AHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAH How the FUCK did Jessica Wild make the top list?! FUCK YES MISS JESSICA you MADE IT!! Ahahah this is WONDERFUl. I secretly admit I LOVE Jessica. Ill go so far to say shes almost like a KINDER EN ESPAñOL version of Alyssa! Jessica live is FUN and shes VERY KIND. I met her and she was a doll. Jessica is GOOD VIBES. I can totally hang with Jessy. Is she creative? NOPE. Is she Edgy? NOPE. Is she fierce… actually she kinda is???!. Shes a good person who you can tell HONESTLY LOVES DRAG and has fun doing it and THAT is why she made top 25! Shes a pure soul who enjoys what she does and that its the SPIRIT and HONESTY rarely found on EARTH!
24. Max: Max CLEARLY is really into Kristen Mcnemany. Max served us upper middle class white privilege. She was NOT bound by the oppressive low class moral standards of gender and sexuality! Max allowed herself to be flat chested and have GREY hair and this says IM WEALTHY AND EDUCATED ENOUGH NOT TO HAVE TO PLAY BY A MANS RULES AND BE A BIMBO YOU POOR PEOPLE?! Max was well read and Max is probably the most well travelled person in the semi mid west sorta shitty small to medium sized city in which I imagine she is from NEXT TO HER SISTER that was in THE PEACE CORPS (I imagine). I bet Max went to a college that was previously ONLY FOR GIRLS. Off the show Max really gave some fantastic editorial moments. I appreciated Max, she was refreshing.
23. Naomi Smalls: The Praying Mantis of drag! Naomis skeleton is the best of all the girls and thats why shes here. TALL and THIN is SO IMPORTANT. She actually was a nice person and very creative too. I don’t like how people discounted her, she was far more creative than most of these people.
22. Milk: Milk is kinda like Max but not as annoying as a person and more “boy aware”. Like I imagine sitting on train with Max might be tedious as her affectations are what got her chopped, and Milk though shes a touch WASPY for my tastes is actually cool and smart and you could share and laugh with her. Milk was MY club name in the 90s so thats interesting as were both tall white people I guess that name just gets handed to you. Milk is sorta the Sandra Bernhardt of RPDR to me but maybe its just the STRONG NOSE. I liked Milks Pinnochio A LOT but if I remember correctly she used the same wig or a pair of shoes a few times and that DOES get a deduction. She was REAL “I have a mom who went to college and shes tall and for my birthday she bought me an AFGHAN (the dog).” . SMART WHITE PEOPLE LIFE… basically everyone I went to college with.
21. Joslyn Fox: Jossy Fox is not trying to be anything she isnt and that is her refreshing appeal. Jossy shops at Tj Maxx and has lunch at Panera because she used to work there and still gets a discount because her fag hag never left despite making a lot of lateral moves that took her nowhere. If I had kids Id hire Jossy to babysit them. Jossy asked to have my husband visit her at her dining table on the drag cruise, BUT NOT ME.
20. Willam: I really should have put Willam at a higher ranking place simply because shes a class act and one of the only queens whos never asked for a discount and buys my clothes. She is the one queen who decided to play by her own rules which sorta bit her in the ass ALMOST, but shes also one of the only queens who has her own career outside of RPDR. I like Willam, shes distant and calculating, but so am I.
19. Ongina: Ongina is important because shes the first one to show that to be successful on the show its not about your elaborately constructed artifice that you might THINK is what makes people like you, but about the REAL YOU you fear to show others that is what makes people like you and this TEENY BEING had the balls to do it. Ongina is all about the live performance as shes a total charmer. She can dance in the palm of your hand and sleeps in a walnut shell at night. Her charm is her human connection that you dont get from most performers and you can’t really get from TV.
18. Manila Luzon: Manilla gives the best costumes in drag styling. Her puppet faces are great, but ONE TIME USE, so shes a little for the kiddies and straight people who only see her once and dont follow drag so thats why she isnt higher for me. Remember if youre top 25 youre iconic! Im just organizing MY VALUES here so its not about these queens abilities but more about MY PERSONAL AGENDA and how I would ORGANIZE WORLD VALUES should I be given the chance…. (echoing Skeletor laugh)
17. Latrice Royale: Latrice is the spirit of America. If you dont like Latrice YOU ARE ISIS. Watch her performance at the season finale where Violet wins, its sooo darn good. Id love to put her farther up but I cant because she only wears THE SAME PAIR OF SHOES with every look. Lady… lay out some coins stop “living poor”. The moment you spend the dough to move yourself forward YOU ACTUALLY MOVE FORWARD. Stop living in a world where you cant afford shoes, break out of that mindset where youre worried to spend a little cash because you might not have it. LIVE RICHLY…YOU CAN AFFORD SHOES. That said remember CREDIT IS NOT CASH BITCH, do NOT use a credit card pretend you have the fantasy of the security of wealth, but I KNOW you at least have 49.99 for a plus size pair of PLEASERS!
16. Katya. The first time I saw Katya I thought TOTAL FORMER COKE HEAD… and I was right. Thats not a read its just the vibes. I think shes very smart and funny and her finale “read ya” was the best of al of them BUT she got a TOTAL SWEETHEART EDIT BECAUSE ALASKA WAS SLAUGHTERING EVERYONE so they needed to make it seem at least a LITTLE like a competition (though detox was like on another level) but I REALLY dont like that FORCED self deprecation and FAKE NICE LAUGH she gives people ESPECIALLY Trixie.. Stop GIFTING her that reaction, we all see right through it! It comes off like less of a laugh and more of an APOLOGY for existing and you dont need to do it youre fierce, just stop. Before you get too big a head though I have to be a good person and let you know your finale look on All Stars was the THIRD worst look ever to go down the runway behind Serena and Cynthia. Don’t believe me???.. check out the hemline.
15 Jujubee: Out of all the queens I think if I had to spend an extended period of time with them Id choose Juju. Shes smart and funny and hopefully that would give me the opportunity to teach her about STYLING because she needs some help. Damn your looks are CHEAP woman. They sell Vogue at the GROCERY STORE!? Im not even asking for the far superior Italian Vogue, Im just saying SHITTY COMMERCIAL GROCERY STORE FASHION MAGAZINE VOGUE. Pick it up and then look at your clothes and figure out the difference. I actually think Juju might be the funniest queen even over Bianca. Shes certainly one of the smartest, and dont forget her library reading was really good.
14. Trinity K. Bonet: I imagine youre suprised at Trinity ranking so high up. Trinity is something I respect.. QUIET CONFIDENCE. Trinity was too damn well mannered to get as far as she should have in the competition and the reason why is Trinity K is the personality type I really respect who is someone who is QUIET and TALENTED. She lets her talents do the talking and unfortunately for good tv you cant just sit there and wait to slay on the runway, you have to have provide soundbytes and dramtic facial gestures for gifs etc. Trinity respectfully minded her own damn business and let her abilities do the talking and I REALLY like that. I went on that nightmarish drag cruise and hands down the best performance was Trinity it was about a ten minute Beyonce number and it was BETTER than Beyonce. It was FANTASTIC and im not even a Beyonce fan. I also think shes very beautiful and has a total Angela Basset quality to her which Im charmed by. Trinity was well mannered and polite and I kinda wanted to be her friend because someone like that benefits from someone like me who isnt afraid to maybe NOT be so polite should the rare occasion call for it. I guess Bianca kinda saw that too. I kinda think for some weird reason Im sweet on her because Tina Turner was my first concert at 8 years old, which I won the tickets to answering Tina Turner Triva on the radio, and that remeinds me of my mom who I went to the concert with and so therefor I want to protect this “good woman”.
13. Nina Flowers: Speaking of good women the next is Nina Flowers. I have NEVER heard ONE person say ONE bad thing about Nina and the multiple times Ive met her she is KIND AND LOVELY. Nina endured that entire CONFLAMA of SEASON 1 and DIDNT EVEN GET THE PALTRY 10k she deserved?! THEN Nina got CURSED with being paired with RAVING MAD WOMAN TAMMIE BROWN and ROLLED WITH IT without complaint. In fact if you watch All Stars 1 instead of complaining Nina handles her like a loving mother who has a RETARDED CHILD who YELLS A LOT. Speaking of YELLING RETARDED PEOPLE one time my husband and I were in Miami and we bought BAD PILLS (is there any other kind in Miami) and were TWACKED OUT ASSHOLES and ran into her and we COULD NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP and she was SO TOLERANT, AND SO NICE, AND SO UNBOTHERED that we almost wondered if we PASSED FOR SANE. Looking back WE DID NOT, Nina was just really nice. Nina is also a great Dj who really gets that CUNT FACTOR and makes for a great night out.
12 Miss Fame: Drag being an art form that relies so heavily on the magic of transformation being the best make up artist of all the queens certainly gets you TOP THREE placement. Too bad Miss Fame is the SECOND BEST MAKE UP ARTIST of Rupauls drag race. If this was a BIOLOGICAL female make-up challenge Fame would be the best, but DRAG MAKE UP is a VERY different art form. Fame had fantastic looks and a greatly appreciate her. I just wish the brains matched the visuals because theyre SO sharp. She really is the Linda of RPDR. Linda was my SECOND choice of the Supermodels, my first was Nadja so you can see where Im coming from. To me alien proportions and snowgress fantasies trump “classic fashion perfection”.
11. Chi Chi DeVayne : Chi Chi Devayne is THE SPIRIT OF DRAG. Chi chi is POOR AS FUCK and still managed to teach herself how to do BACKFLIPS IN HEELS. THERE IS NO REASON FOR ALL OF US NOT TO BE ABLE TO DO THE SAME BUT WE CANNOT! She is THE DRAG ASSASSIN. I respect her SO much. Imagine if she was given the same opportunities any of us in the North East of the United States were given?! When I was a little kid I wasnt rich either but I feel in North Eastern America you can receive a great education and you dont have to be wealthy at all. A good education is just kind of built into the psyche just like our PURITANICAL JUDGEMENT. I mean as a kid I grew up in a tiny single parent home next to a pond and it certainly wasnt GLAMOROUS but if I felt like it my 8 year old self could wander over to the neighbors house which was basically THE ADDAMS FAMILY MANSION to me which belonged to the professor who established the local community college and Id just sit there in his living room while he and his wife watched JULIA CHILD Id point at the random objects hed collected from around the world and ask “Whats that?!” and hed reply “That is a TURKISH BULLWHIP!” FIERCE?! ..with that information alone not only did I learn of exotic locations I never heard of I knew I TOO wanted to go there AND had the ability too. Something tells me being from Louisianna Chi Chi didnt have the opportunity to learn how to cook LONDON BROIL (I still remember Julia saying “Ooh this roast is SPITTING at me) while sitting in the dark at a baby grand piano while a Grandfather clock gonged in the background like these people did. It would be VERY EASY to be an angry bitter person coming from her situation and instead Chi Chi took it upon herself to excel to the best of her abilities and BOY HAS SHE. I feel Chi Chi was THE BEST when it came to Lipsynch for your life. All she needs is 12 months, a handful of those McDonalds gift certificates you got at Halloween, a stack of VHS tapes of STYLE with ELSA KLENSCH, 6 National Geographic magazines, and everyone dies. Chi Chi is FIERCE.
10 Chad Michaels: Being the number one Cher impersonator in the world gets you top ten placement forever. Its not debatable its DRAG LAW.
9.Tammie Brown: Tammie Brown is an UNCONTROLLABLE FORCE OF NATURE. Tammy is the SWIRLING POWER OF CHAOS. GRAVITY DECIDES TO LEAVE WHEN TAMMIE IS AROUND! Tammies superpower is that she holds no power unto her own but EVERYONE ELSES POWERS ARE RENDERED USELESS WHEN SHE WALKS IN THE ROOM. NO QUEEN has any power over Tammie and for THAT ALONE she gets top ten placement. Have you ever seen those crazy cat videos of cats reacting to people who throw a cucumber on the ground? If you havent, check them out, but in a nut shell cats are for some reason TOTALLY FREAKED OUT by a cucumber sitting on the ground. They go from acting relatively sane to COMPLETELY BIZARRE at the toss of a cucumber… well TAMMY IS THAT CUCUMBER.
8. Bianca Del Rio: Bianca is a hard working professional and a talent and Im glad we have her on “our” side as I cant think of any straight comedian who could beat her in a “read off”. She doesnt particularly check any of my boxes as what she is Im not super into but you cant deny her abilities. Shes the sharpest tack. My friend Bradford hired her for a dinner and it was fine and fun and all and as she was walking out the door my NUMB NUT husband brings up “but what about the movie youre making?” this of course lead her to go on about how shes raising money etc so then BRADFORD THE ASSHOLE makes everyone say how much theyre going to donate to her film putting me on the spot to donate 500 dollars to the fucking crappy movie?! It was well shot but UGH LADY wheres the funny? I paid FIVE HUNDRED GOD DAMN DOLLARS FOR THAT MOVIE?!?! FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS….. FUCK…. thats TWO tickets to see CHER?!?!?!?
7.Sharon Needles: When Sharon first came out I BOUGHT IT, literally, I bought the t shirt which was secrelty packed as a GLITTER BOMB.. FUCKING CUNT…She really gave us hope and spoke to so many and was a creative and funny star. Shes a great talent who has done some amazing looks. Unfortunately shes become super sour and nasty and nobody wants to work with her and former fans are made uncomfortable to be around her. Sharon Needles is THE BEST DRAG QUEEN nobody wants to be around.
6. Violet Chachki: Im pretty sure Violet was trained by a SITH LORD or something. Shes CURIOUSLY YOUNG to be so professional and SO on point and just soooo good. God I hated the idiot RPDR fan base who talked shit about her simply because they couldnt relate to her because she was confident in her abilities. A wolf does NOT consult the sheep as to what to have for dinner!?! Im sorry but thats NOT something to make apologies for and its CERTAINLY not something you need to change. Nobody should have to dumb themselves down for the masses and Violet has not. She consistently DOMINATES THEM with her BITCH GODDESS self and Im SOOOO THANKFUL FOR THAT. This icy goddess holds the title for the number one AND number two AND number three best gowns on RPDR history. Dont go against Violet you WILL loose.
5. Alaska: Alaska broke all the rules by being HER OWN CREATURE. You cant pin down Alaska as one specific thing. Shes is an entity unto her own and that is so important to recognize. Shes also maybe the smartest queen of all of them. Her drag is a critique of drag itself which makes her a more evolved creature compared to “lesser” queens. Like all these top five shes really carved out PERSONALITY in her drag persona. Shes maybe made me laugh more than any other queen.The only “negative” I can think of is I dont like her interest in nails, seems like something India Ferra would be into. Its sorta weird that she named herself Alaska when the biggest gay icon in Spain and many other Spanish speaking nations is Alaska but shes from Pittsburg, not Madrid.
4. Alyssa Edwards: Oh fuck is Alyssa Edwards important! The DON KNOTSS of Drag Alyssa is sorta just like Texas from which she hails… BIG AND WEIRD THINKING AND despite being the essence of AMERICA its also ITS OWN ENTITY and by its own design is flawless and also VERY FLAWED! Remember when ALyssa first started and she was mean and people did not like her?! This is important to recognize because Alyssa HOOKED US with a very special chemistry of herself as a real person and this SWIRLY KOOKOO TOWN that her psyche exists in where shes the MAYOR, THE RICHEST LADY, THE NOSEY NEIGHBOR, AND THE BEAUTY QUEEN! Shes all those things and we get to see them all exist in every gesture. The gif of her negotiating a sip on an extra long straw was just as responsible for us falling in love with her as was her UNSELFAWARNESS (is that a word?) upon the HARD REVEAL of her BACKROLLS. Those lips and eyes are insanely MAGNETIC but all of it would be only half as magnetic if we didnt know what a LOOSEY GOOSEY she is?! You KNOW that Alyssa PERFORMS FOR NOBODY when shes by herself…. OFTEN.
Alyssa I think is the only queen Ive ever hired and she got out of a cab by herself in FULL DRAG wearing like a TEDDY and a SHEER DRESSING GOWN and walked down the street in broad daylight asking my assistant if the MEXICAN RESTAURANT ON THE CORNER was where she was PERFORMING?!?! Alyssas personal styling is: “Dress, not particularly expensive shoe, AND PIECE OF THING ON HER HEAD- but NOT a complete thing on her head just a PART of something on her head! Its the VAGUE ALLUSION that this is part of MAYBE SOMETHING GREATER, or maybe shes been to SPAIN, or maybe she shoplifts at CLAIRES BOUTIQUE?!
Alyssa is an America treasure!
3. Raven: Raven is JEALOUS BEAUTY. RAVEN IS EVERY FIERCE VILLAINESS THAT EVER EXISTED. Raven VERY EASILY could be my number one BUT IM LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF and Im not going to SIT HERE and WAIT to be loved by someone I adore as they DENY MY EXISTENCE simply because THEY THEMSELVES are incapable of being loved. I already DID THAT SHOW its called ME AND MY DAD and thanks but over a lifetime as a child I sat there on the couch waiting for him to show up, which he often DID NOT, as I hoped that MAGICALLY ONE DAY this person you adore is suddenly going to take interest in you. GUESS WHAT… IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN!!! I might love Raven but RAVEN CANT LOVE BACK and instead of being MAD (like I was for a lifetime with my own dad) Im going to recognize that I dont hate this person at all, in fact this VILLAIN is a HERO to me and though I wish theyd be capable of liking me back theyre NOT and THATS OK. Im not the bad guy for that, and neither is Raven, and neither is my dad. Its something they cant do and MAYBE someday they will and if so THATS GREAT but until then Im gonna love myself and put interest in people who reciprocate my feelings.This all may sound like I had some kind of ACTUAL relationsship with Raven WHICH I HAVE NOT but Ravens entire DRAG CONCEPT HER VERY DRAG BEING is that story line to me. The even more twisted part is we love Raven BECAUSE shes cruel?!?! I think shes TREMENDOUS! Raven is THE EVIL QUEEN from Snow White, shes Alexis from Dynasty, shes Katra from She-ra. Raven IS jealous beauty. Raven is a cruel and powerful goddess and I LIVE for her. We have tried SO MANY times to hire her and it falls on dead ears. Shes cannot be bothered. She needs to GET BOTHERED because the reason why shes not an All Star is because she cant be. I mean I think its really because shes had a couple DUIs and theres no way a liquor company was gonna give 100k to a person who has 2 DUIS but you know what I mean….
Raven is also THE BEST DRAG MAKEUP ARTIST. All these future queens stand on Ravens trompe l’oeil bone structure. Ravens one word comments on fashion photo Ruview make me HOWL. Ravens astute observations are as sharp as her nose contour. Raven has the teeniest room for evolution spiritually I think JUST A TEENY BIT, like DONT CHANGE, but MAYBE get a LITTLE kind and Raven will be my number one and OH GOD I want her to be number one SO BAD.
2. Raja. Ok, now Im back to sitting on my tiny clear desk chair like a Gargoyle because its THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUEENS?!!?!? VERY SIMPLY without Raja Rupauls Drag Race would be MEXICAN TELEVISION! The show would be an FAR less elevated and be a GOOPEY SUNDAE of WIGS AND BOOBS AND WELL WORN DRESSES THAT SMELL LIKE B.O and ANGEL! Raja brings in references that lift the entire competition UP. Alyssa is Cosmopolitan but Raja is ITALIAN VOGUE AND NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC. Shes still the best runway walker of all the queens which is like MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING. In her single season she gave us gold robot, amazon tribes person, Marie Antoinette, and when she walked in first episode it was the most obvious time someone was CLEARLY the winner from MINUTE ONE.
Raja is the PUBLIC TELEVISION OF DRAG RACE! A FUNDAMENTAL NECESSITY to the CLASS LEVEL of Rupauls Drag Race and without her the floor would drop out. LETS IMAGINE AN AFRICAN WATERING HOLE with baboons squeeling, zebras making their weirdo sounds that you would never expect to come from a horse, hippos eating, hyenas laughing and all of a sudden the GIRAFFE enters the scene and everyone SHUTS UP AND STARES… Well RAJA IS THAT GIRAFFE… and yes Shangela and Yarra Sofia are the babbons. We need LESS BABOONS and MORE GIRAFFES. If I HAD to make a negative critque Id say Id just like to see LESS POT and WINE references on her facebook page because when I read that I think she might be mildly depressed and I dont want that from this creative talent whom I adore!
1. Detox. DETOX IS CHARISMA. Detox IS the MUGLER woman. Thierry Mugler is what saved me in college. Mugler is clearly what has saved Detox as well. The first time I saw Thierry Muglers work was at a newsstand in VALENCIA CALIFORNIA at CalArts and his robot suit was on the cover of STERN magazine and I grabbed it, and some suburban TWAT MOM shot me side eye because the robot suit shows nipple and of course she disapproved that because she was JUDGEY UNTRAVELED TRASH. I looked inside at his work and I thought I WANT TO BE WHERE THESE PEOPLE EXIST?!?!? I actually brought the magazine to my mentor and said “I NEED TO BE HERE.” Well Detox takes me to that place! I can relate to Detox. Were really similar in many ways, both of us have tried to manefest that Mugler construct as best as possible and through ANY means necessary. If Raven is the Evil Queen from Disneys Snow White, Detox is Maleficent! Both are SO MAJOR how do you pick?! Well I will tell you how! Remember how in my Raven rant I was saying I was going to learn to love myself well putting Detox first is learning to love myself! Why?! Because Detox is the EVIL QUEEN who MAKES GOOD. When Alvaro offered to pay both Detox and Raven to send me a little happy 40th birthday message Raven didnt respond, and DETOX DID and REFUSED TO TAKE MONEY. You know when Skeletor feels the spirit of Christmas in the Heman Christmas special?? Well SKELETOR DETOX. Shes the VILLAIN we all love with A HEART thats open to be loved. Detox is the DAD WHO SHOWS UP.
Detox takes great measures to embody the values that mean so much to me. Its actually HARD to be this GOOD. She is SOFT AS NAILS but you still wanna FUCK HER?! She had TREMENDOUS sex appeal without being soft, amazing style without being trend driven, and shes a bitch goddess without being bitter. Detox is number one, Detox is the good mommy.

ok uh. yooran gaming channel au - part 2

@misfireezreal reblogged the ‘yoosung has a gaming channel au’ post and wrote a really cute lil addition that inspired me to add some more ideas to this mess of an au….. and i got really carried away

their addition / reblog post is here !!  tho i’ll also put a screenshot of it under the cut… along with more headcanons/ideas/whatever for the au/scenario

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Birmingham Lass, Camden Girl

Alfie Solomons X Reader


I was born and bred in Birmingham, like a fucking horse, but I don’t know whether it’s my home. You’ve heard the whole, ‘I was best friends with the Shelby’s’ thing before. I know you have. But no, we weren’t best friends, we were siblings. You’ll notice the use of ‘were’ and not 'are’ to describe my affiliation with the Shelby family. If I’m honest, I see them as my past now, because I don’t want them to be my present. Maybe that’s harsh and goes against the so called 'Shelby Way’ like we’re some kind of fucking royalty. But I don’t care because, our family was ruined by my brothers. They soiled our name and made it synonymous with fear and violence. If I told anyone I was a Shelby they’d think I was there to kill them.

Thomas is to blame. I blame him, I always have and always will. If he had not taken on that shipment of guns, none of this would have happened. If he hadn’t fallen for that Irish spy a lot of bad things also wouldn’t have happened to us. But no, Thomas dug our family’s grave but refused to lay in it. He made the rest of us lay in it instead.

It should have been me running the business. It would have been clean without any murder. I’m older than Tommy and more sane than Arthur. I’m the second eldest but I wasn’t even considered as the leader of the business. Even Polly didn’t support me and Ada was fucking Freddie Thorne so that didn’t help. As soon as Tommy told me about the guns, I hit him right round the face and walked off angrily. He never apologised or even really talked to me about it again off his own accord. Either way, I knew from that moment on that he wasn’t to be trusted.

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