im tired and had nothing better to do

I never realised how suspicious and wary I have become of people until I started working in my new office where people are actually NICE and FRIENDLY and everyone seems to HELP EACH OTHER and maybe CARE for each other (???). When people pay me a compliment or say nice things, I smile and thank them but inside I’m panicking if it means something else or if they have another motive or that they are lying and trying to be nice and nothing is true. I’m so used to people saying one thing and meaning another. It’s so hard to be more casual and relaxed. I keep wondering how to behave and I keep smiling and trying to seem really engaged. I even walk differently unconsciously because I’m trying to project a “good impression” and I always forget all my words and I struggle so hard to speak. I need to chill. I’m going to try and walk casually tomorrow. I’m gonna try and be more casual. But the effort that it takes…kinda defies what “casual” even means gdi.

anonymous asked:

Hey dude, it's kind of messed up you didn't apologize for the vagilitarian Rose picture, didn't delete the drawing, and then draw her with an obviously trans feminine kanaya who is rose's girlfriend when that shirt is rooted in TWERF ideology and you're not trans feminine like Yikes Tbh

i really Hate answering this but im not tired enough Yet to not care abt misinfo so heres some stuff since apparently u had time to send this but not enough time to actually look through my blog

  • ive apologised multiple times
  • i actually did make the post private for a while, before deciding that was stupid since i posted it before i went to bed and it had 3k notes by the time i woke up and realised i made a mistake
  • aka it was already in circulation and hiding it would prevent nothing!!! better to acknowledge, apologise and move on to do better 
  • dont get all your opinions from one sentence callout posts its not a good look

i’ve realized that growing up, you have to cut people out of your life. it’s a very difficult thing to do because i’m the kind of person who holds onto memories, people and the side that made fall in love with people in the first place. but there comes a time when you have to face the truth head on in order to better your life. i don’t regret any of my choices because i did them for a reason, i had to pave a path for a better healthier lifestyle. i have a huge heart and i hate letting people go, but why should keep them close to me when they were nothing but negative and unsupportive when i needed them? i’ve been mistreated and im tired of wearing my heart on my sleeve just so people can take it and abuse it. it may seem selfish to some people, and that’s because it is. i’m trying to grow and i need people who are going to help me instead of making me feel lower than i already do.

“Am I in love with you or am I in love with the feeling?”

Hii! I’ve just read all of your one shots, they’re amazing! Can you do a bellamy one shot based on the song The Feeling by Justin Bieber ft Halsey? Thank you so much ?￰゚リフ 

“Bellamy, it’s not good that you guys get into fights like this every single day” Octavia sighed, resting her hand on her brother’s slumped shoulder.

“Fighting is good, right? It’s better than bottling things up” Bellamy argued, though he knew very well what Octavia meant. She didn’t say anything and sat next to her big brother. “I know we fight a lot, but I really love her” he continued.

“Bell…” Octavia hesitated. “Are you sure?”

Keep reading

kaguneko  asked:

6 please~~

*doesnt answer ask until 84 years later at nearly 7 am bc what is sleep* why am i like this

6. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

mmmmmmm i used to be into ere*ri before i realized how much i…disliked their dynamic (also eru*ri is god tier levi ship ok, we both know this), and it had to do with the way fandom portrays them too i guess?? but a better answer is that im also a little MAJORLY disillusioned with the popular ships in hq like iw*a*oi, kuro*ken, dai*su*ga, etc because they rely on stale tropes and one-dimensional characterization that is borderline sympathetic to toxic fujoshi culture AT BEST. i wont even say what i think they are at worst. nothing against fujoshi *nods at my yaoi blog*  and nothing against the ships (i still enjoy them but mehhhhhh) it’s just that i get tired of reading the same shit over and over again plus rare ships are better anyway

Originally posted by kagtobio

sinouhara replied to your post: Even with all of the shit that was happening on…

I was stuck with raubahn and shit for a long long time and have trouble concentrating sometimes so im still at like… i think im just about to get diving since this beast tribe is gonna perform a ritual so I can go out and look for something of their’s in the water

Yeah I was stuck on Raubahn too and then I was like starting to get sick and tired so I ended up napping, waking up, and groggily trying to do the quest bc lol why not I had nothing better to do, and then suddenly I got n and flipped out.

Then the next story instance I was blocked out of, and wanted to cry, but then the night at like 2 am I went there and nobody was around and i got through

after that it was kinda smooth sailing with some difficulties but m a n it was crazy bad… I felt bad for everyone in my FC bc I was getting ahead while many of them were still behind… 

Glad to know you are getting further in the story though. If ya have any like questions or need help lemme know okay?

Well, I did it. I listened to all 44. No better way to end it than with my favorite😊