im such a good actress

Me: *thinks about the in the heights movie and all of the hype I’m giving it despite the fact that it most likely won’t feature any of the cast members that caused me to fall in love with such a production, the fact that it’s still a few years away so I have no idea if I’d still even like in the heights by the time it comes around, the ridiculously high standards I have for the cast especially in casting an all poc cast being my number one want (something Hollywood’s been notorious in withholding), the fear of adding foreign plot points or even worse SUBTRACTING important plot points, the fear of somehow removing women from the narrative, the fear of watering down such a beautiful story in general*

Me: *cries*

3

“…
no matter how bright your halo glows,
or how high your wings take you,
you will always, eventually, f a l l.”

— THE SUN WAS NEVER SUPPOSED TO BE YOURS // K.S.

My favourite thing about Carmilla as a series HANDS DOWN is Laura. I love Laura so much. She is actually my favourite character in the series! I tend to dislike protagonists because people are afraid to give them personalities because they have to be RELATABLE so they fall into a kind of Bella the Bland thing but not Laura. Laura is fucking gold. God bless Laura

Behind my smile, there is the real me. Yeah, maybe you always see me smile. Like im a happy go lucky person. But im not. I just know how to pretend that im okay. I just know how to fake and act like im really damn okay. Sometimes i think im a really good actress because of that. No one knows that im just acting… pretending and faking it. They dont know how i am completely hurt. Behind my smile, there is a broken heart. Behind my smile, there is an emptiness. Behind my smile, is a real and complete description of me.