im still not good enough

king husbands……………

Commitment has always been scary for me. The thought of devoting myself to one person seemed impossible. I get bored too easily for that. But with you it was different. I could spend eternity listening to your voice, your laugh, and all your stupid little jokes.

@excailzkrossmazi did the doodle challenge in your style.

But what happens to you?

Here is my promised Natan fic. It’s Fluff and kisses.

4000+ words

Nutshell: Natalie comes home acting stranger than usual, and when satan pushes her to just spit it out already, things dont quite goes as he planned. and so he attempts to comfort her.

Natalie walked in the front door and dropped her school bag down at her feet, Satan could hear her frustrated sounds, as she struggled to pull of her tall brown boots. Her jacket was next, and she flung it over the back of the navy blue arm chair that sat opposite to the love seat that, “Stanleywas currently sprawled out on. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, then back at the television, where some generic soap opera had been playing in a marathon for the majority of the day. Satan hated to admit he was almost interested to see if the main protagonists secret, and by default insane, twin would walk in on the uncle that was having an affair with their mother, who had kept her locked up all her life, or if the two lovers would manage to part just before the girl barged in with the revolver she had shoved in the band of her thigh high stockings.

           It wasn’t until Natalie had quietly sat down on the floor in front of the couch, without a single word for the better part of the now, almost finished episode, that he started to take notice of how strange she was acting. Her silence was unsettling, and the way she nervously twisted her fingers through the ends of her hair, the small twinge of pain he felt in his own head, was the proof that she had something on her mind, and by default, his own. There was no escape from her aggravating twitching, if the issue wasn’t addressed before the girls head exploded from being over worked.

“Kid just spit it out already before you go fucking bald”

He let out an aggravated huff, rolling his eyes as he looked over at her finally. His sudden break in the silence had made her jump, and she quickly looked over at him before looking away again just as fast. Dropping her hair and choosing to clasp her fingers tightly together in her lap.

“Oh, um, no, ha ha, nothing wrong! Just, ya know, schools a draaaggg, heh…”

The nervous tick worsened, and she wrung her fingers so hard he could feel the pressure in his own hands. With a loud grown he flipped upright and roughly grabbed her wrist to make her stop. Shocked, Natalie’s head quickly snapped up to look at him, the fear and panic in her expression stunned him momentarily, and his face scrunched up in frustration. What in the hell was her problem? They were well past her thinking he was going to cause her physical harm, so why was she so damn jumpy? She tried to force a smile again, but it was more of a grimace than a smile. She attempted to pull her wrist out of his grasp, which in reality was pointless, any attempts at getting away if he wanted to keep her somewhere were futile, and she knew it. After a few attempts at getting him to release her she gave up. Her hand hung limply between them in the almost suffocating silence. He really didn’t understand her, not in the least, one minute she was all happy go lucky, smiling in the face of death while running straight into the impending doom cloud of the apocalypse, on a fucking rainbow unicorn; and then there were these times…

“Seriously kid, you aren’t yourself right now, so what’s your problem?”

Natalie took in a deep shaky breath, and chewed on the inside of her lip before she spoke.

“I just, I’m worried, is all… about… all this junk that’s going on, with Michael… that psycho in the ally… what it’s going do to dad when he finds out the truth…”

As she spoke, with each word it seems her voice got lower and lower, and he struggled to hear what she was saying. But he understood her worry for her father, the poor old man already thought he was losing it, especially after seeing a glimpse of his long dead wife, during the possible deal with Michael over Natalie’s soul. It was just a matter of time before the guy finally figured something out; Satan figured Natalie had known from the start that things wouldn’t be easy to keep their contract a secret for long. Although he was still confused as to why she choose now to being collapsing under the pressure, he gave her credit for lasting this long.

“Really kid that’s your problem? You didn’t honestly think you could hide the apocalypse of all things, from your father forever, did you?”

He couldn’t help but laugh at that, it was hilarious to think the girl planned on hiding the end of the world. In what way did she plan on doing that? No amount of sweet talk and lies could cover up this mess, regardless of their contract, the apocalypse was coming; for everyone, ‘for her’. His last thought was a sobering one, now that he knew Natalie, he knew she was a very strong girl ‘but not strong enough…’ He turned his attention back to the girl in front of him, who was now turned away slightly, staring blankly across the room. Her breathing was uneven, and he could now see that her entire body was almost vibrating in an attempt to keep herself together.


He almost never said her name, it was a conscious choice to not call her by her name. In the beginning, he had mainly done it simply because it annoyed her, and she would constantly remind him that she had a real name. But this time, there was no thought behind it, it was genuine, his worry showing through in the form of her name. He could feel her unease when he spoke, the twisting of something awful in his stomach that made him want to be sick. And that’s the moment he heard it, a small, muffled sound, the tiny sob that came along with the next words she spoke.

“…I’m worried about what will happen to you… if Michael wins… if demons go to hell… where do you go when you die?” There was silence after that, it filled the room, and all at once everything was, too warm and too cold. He felt disconnected, empty, smothered by the words that had just come out of her mouth… She was too soft, too caring, too close. He couldn’t handle it, couldn’t stand someone caring so much about him, because it was always a lie ‘she’s safe’, he corrupted anything he touched, he was poison ‘you can’t taint her’. There was no way this small girl could honestly care, or should care rather, about what happens to the devil after the apocalypse ’but she does, just let her help you’, this time he physically shook his head to get rid of the thoughts. From past experience he knew not to be so trusting… He dropped her wrist like it burned him, and without thinking about his words, he spat them out directly at her

           "Where the fuck did that come from? And why do you care? It’s not like it’s going to matter anyway. You’re too stubborn to break this contract, so you’re going to die with me! There’s no reason to worry about my fate when you’re going down the same god damn path kid"

           The laugh that followed his words was loud, and bitter, he got up and angrily stomped towards the hall, intending to go upstairs by himself to calm down, since there was no way she would let him leave the house. He needed to get away before he decided to start breaking objects around the room; which of course would only end in another trip to church, but with how he felt right now it would be well worth it. Once he reached the hallway he stopped, just out of her sight, the muffled sounds Natalie had been making previously, we no longer so muffled. He stared intently at the worn out red rug at his feet, flexing his toes and watching the fibers shift around. The attempts to swallow around the newly forming lump in his throat, were not very successful. He mentally kicked himself for yelling at her, although he enjoyed other people’s pain, he didn’t enjoy hers, and it was a major piss off. He dug his claws into the doorframe to steady himself, and with a low snarl, he turned around and stomped back out into the Livingroom.

           Natalie looked up just as Satan stopped in front of her, and before she could react, Satan roughly grabbed onto her arm and pulled her up, dragging her towards the stairs. In her current state, along with the fact she was fighting against the devil, she weakly protested, sniffing in a failed attempt to stop more tears from falling. He pulled her up the stairs and into her room, letting go long enough to close the door behind him causing random papers and photos the girl had stuck to her door, to scatter all over the floor. He shifted into, as she called it, his ‘drug dealer’ form, and turned around to face her, once again. She stood there with her arms wrapped around herself, her normal, annoyingly extroverted, bubbly self, had been replaced with something, he has only momentarily seen a few times before. The times when she had brought him to visit her mother’s grave, the handful of times some of his insults had gotten under her skin, or when Michael had brought her mother to her in an attempt to forcefully break her contract with him. It was that small flinch, the momentary silence before she laughed and brushed him off, the underlying anger that only seemed to make her feel guilty; the look in her eyes, it just wasn’t her… He shoved away the thoughts, and focused back on the current situation, pointing towards the bed.

“Sit down”

           It was a simple, and monotone command that even she should be able to follow. She looked up at him through her lashes, her face was less red, but her cheeks still looked damp, and his hands twitched reflexively at the sight. A dull itch was spreading across his palms, and he had to forcibly hold them stiffly at his sides, clenching them into fists to stop the movement. He stood still looking across the room at the various things piled onto her bookshelf, trying to find some kind of distraction that would help to shove the thoughts back down to where ever it was they were coming from. Natalie didn’t move immediately, but after a moment, she slowly walked over towards the bed, and gently sat herself down, looking up at him fully now, as if she were waiting for further instruction. He sucked in a deep breath, and let it out through his nose as he walked towards the edge of the bed.

           Once he was standing in front of her, he leaned over and pulled down the pile of old blankets, standing up straight again once there was room for her. Rather than watching her, he choose to stare across the room again, his eyes falling on her dresser mirror, which was surrounded by pictures, new and old that were taken throughout her life. As his eyes followed the line of photos, he stopped on a picture of the two of them, wedged into the corner where the mirror met the wooden frame work. It was one that she had made him take on her birthday, and a rare one where he wasn’t sporting his signature frown, which appeared in almost all the other pictures she had of him. It was almost surreal to see his own face in something so, normal… he glanced away from the photos now, staring at the floor instead. In yet another attempt to clear his mind of the thoughts that had been bombarding him recently. Thankfully the kid understood the silent request and she carefully climbed over the mound of blankets, sitting back down and pulling the layers up over her legs. Which was a very well, welcomed distraction.

           Once she had gotten comfortable, he sat himself down on the edge of the bed with his back to her. Neither of them said a word, and it wasn’t until her heard her sniffing, as if she was going to cry again, that he shifted around to face her. This time it was her who wouldn’t look at him, her head was bent down, chin pressed against her chest. He didn’t know why the sight bothered him so much, it shouldn’t, the devil shouldn’t care, especially not about a human girl being upset 'but you do’ that little voice in the back of his head, whispering to him again. It was nothing like those voices, not even close, and rather screaming and bombarding him, with a constant flow of disgusting and twisted words; it spoke nothing but the truth. Which was sometimes more painful than the things the soul trapped in eternal damnation would say. That small little voice, always spoke up at all the wrong times, more and more lately. This girl was working her way under his skin, and he hated it! 'That’s a lie’; again he was called out on what even he couldn’t deny was bullshit. He tilted his head down, to get a better look at her face, and he glanced up at him just slightly. After a moment, a quiet humorless laugh escaped her lips

“Yeah I know I’m a baby”

“I didn’t say anything”

He really hadn’t, although from how odd his actions would have seemed to her, it was no surprise she thought it was all simply out of pity. More and more the urge to constantly insult her, had dwindled, and although it did bother him to a point, he couldn’t deny the things that came from that tiny, locked away place where that voice now lived. She sniffed again and as she spoke she rubbed a hand across her face to wipe away the newly fallen tears

“You don’t have to say it…”

She spoke in a muffled whisper, and with how pathetic her voice had sounded, Satan honestly had to fight back a snort. She really did know him so well, so well that even if he made the conscious effort to not be a prick, she always knew what his initial reaction was. He moved up further on the bed, turning himself until he was seated next to her, leaning against the wall. She gave him a weary look, but he wouldn’t, couldn’t look directly at her. If he did he wouldn’t be able to go through with this, and the struggle to not want to run and hide, was already quite the fight. He pulled one of her pillows on her bed over, propping it against the wall next to him. The only other movement he made, was to stretch his arm out towards her. He could see her reaction out of the corner of his eye, she had stopped crying once again, and now her face was scrunched up in confusion, her nose wrinkled up and a small pout on her lips. Once again he focused intently on the other side of the room, he couldn’t let himself back out now, she would never let him live it down.

She slowly pushed herself back against the oversized pillow, leaning back slightly. And when her back came in contact with his arm, Satan couldn’t help but notice how soft her hair was. Or how nice the perfume she worse smelled. He sat there, back straight as a board, and he tried to force himself to relax, when he noticed Natalie was wearily mirroring his posture. Slouching down slightly, he let his shoulders relax, and his arm laid more naturally against the back of the pillow, his hand hanging down, where he gently brushed her arm, as she began to adjust herself where she was sat, half curled up next to him.

When she still didn’t relax, he gave up and with an audible gruff sigh, he gripped her shoulder and pulled her over, to where she was now pressed against his side. A small squeaking noise was the most he got out of her, and she looked up at the side of his face, while he did his best not to look back. As much as he had the urge to face her, he fought against it, for the sake of his sanity. It didn’t take long for the kid to realize she wasn’t going to get any explanation, and rather than trying to make him talk, like she normally did, she wiggled around until she was sitting more comfortable next to him; her knees pulled up and resting against his leg, while she laid her head down on his chest, bringing the arm that wasn’t trapped between them up to rest against his side on his ribs, next to her head. He had to take slow, steadying breaths, to calm himself down why was nervous, and for what? There was no reason for this to bother him so much. As much as the girl pissed him off sometimes, she had been through quite a bit, and if this helped her then he would get over it, at least for the time being, to try to give her some comfort.

He used his free hand, to carefully pull the green stripped comforter up over her shoulders, covering the arm that was wrapped around her in the process. They sat there for quite a while, and just as he noticed the lights coming from her bedroom window dim, her breathing had leveled out, and he finally took the chance of glancing down at her. She was fast asleep, she was snoring lightly, and pieces of her hair had slipped down over her face. He paused for a moment, before lifting his hand up, and gently moving the strands’ of hair away, brushing them behind her ear. His fingers lingered on the skin of her cheek for a short moment brushing away the remaining tears that were still there, before he pulled them away and rested his arm across his stomach. Despite everything else that had happened, what was the biggest mystery, was how quickly Natalie had managed to calm down. Who in their right mind would feel content to fall asleep curled up next to the literal personification of hell itself?

“You’re something else kid…”

She really was, right from the beginning, her initial fear about meeting him had faded rather quickly. She easily fell into her role as his contractor, and took that job just a little too seriously, at least he thought she had at first. But the longer he was with her, the more he saw she was a great help for himself, because she gave him no other options; she saw right through him, all his bullshit. She may honestly be the only person that even bothered to find out more about him, to truly know him; something other than the fact that he was the king of hell. It both shocked him and, as much as he hated to admit it, pleased him, it was both comforting and horrifying, that the more she pushed at him, broke down the barricades that he had built up over the centuries, the more he didn’t mind, The more he wanted her to see of himself. Because he couldn’t see anything good in himself, nothing but darkness resided in himself, where she found light; if that light was not his own, she gave him hers. With a weary sigh, he couldn’t help but voice his thoughts out loud.

“You may be a major pain in my ass, but now, I’m glad it was you I got stuck with”

The truth, he couldn’t help it, she made him feel, things he thought he had long since forgotten, was a natural thing with her, and there was no way around it.

“Not that I haven’t considered smothering you in your sleep, because I have, but I never did… I couldn’t bring myself to actually hurt you…”

His words trailed off, and he really didn’t know what else to say, how he could describe what she did to him. Glancing down, he watched her face as she slept, she looked so calm, all the stress from the looming apocalypse disappearing from her features. Her cheek pressed against his chest, pushed her lips out into a little pout, and he found himself focusing on her lips just a little too long, before turning his eyes away swallowing thickly, and instead focusing on the hand she had resting on his chest. She really was tiny compared to him, her hands were small and delicate, but he also knew she could throw a good punch when she needed too. She was strong for a human, not so much in the physical sense, but her will, and it was something he admired about her; even if her sassy nature pissed him off every so often, it pissed Michael off more. He couldn’t help the small smirk that came to his face at the thought, Michael was extremely annoyed with the fact that from the beginning, Natalie preferred Satan, and anybody else for that matter, over him.

“I know I’m an asshole, it’s in my nature, but I hope you know I don’t really hate you, not completely anyway. But you are kind of a bitch at times, and being tied to a teenager still isn’t at the top of my list of favorite things… but you’re not, completely horrible”

He felt Natalie shift slightly, and tensed at the movement, and before he could really react, Natalie sat up and faced him. He was frozen in place, as they watched each other, and then the kid did something that really threw him off. Using the hand between them as leverage, she leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, lingering there for a few seconds before pulling away and laying her head back on his chest, pressing against his side more firmly.

“I love you too ya big marshmallow”

He coughed and sputtered for a moment before falling silent, his entire body felt heavy, and the tightness in his chest made it hard to breath. Looking down at her again, all he could see was the top of her head. He couldn’t help how his voice shook as he attempted to speak


She lifted her head up towards him, a faint look of confusion on her face, her hair flopped over in her face once again. And that was it. As much as he would tease her about it, she really was quite pretty. Not in the supermodel sense, she was no Cleopatra that’s for sure. But her soul, she was so bright, even from his view; and he couldn’t help but wish he could see what Raphael could. But he wouldn’t ever have a true complaint about the parts he could see… with that, he couldn’t take it any longer


His words wouldn’t come out, and as Natalie looked more and more worried, there was only one way he could tell her what he was trying to say; with that he lifted the hand that was resting on his stomach next to hers, and moved her hair out of her face, resting it against her cheek and using his thumb to tilt her head upwards, as he quickly leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. There was no thought to it, instinct had lead him to this, and he simply kept his lips lightly against hers, as he waited for her reaction.

Said reaction was an obvious one, she went completely still and sucked in a sharp breath, although she didn’t pull away. Letting his hand slip down to rest against her neck, He kept his eyes shut tightly, afraid to have to face the rejection that was inevitably coming. He stayed in place for a few moments longer before pulling away ever so slightly; he could feel her breath against his lips, and it sent a chill down his spine that he physically reacted to. The silence, once again, was smothering him, but there was no escape from this, and what he had done wasn’t something that could be easily forgotten. What he wasn’t expecting was the feeling of Natalie’s free hand, being placed against the side of his face as she ran her thumb across his cheekbone. Her breath against his lips, the small trembling in her hand that was spreading through her body, the feeling of just how, god damn warm she was pressed against him. But the one thing he wasn’t expecting, was the feeling of her lips pressing against his own. Soft and tentative.

This time it was his turn to be shocked, and he felt her soft smile against his lips. At this point, the arm that was around her shoulder, wrapped fully around her, as he pulled her upwards, and held her against him. Once again he used the hand on her neck to gain leverage, as he returned her shy kiss a little more firmly, barely pulling away before pressing into her once more with more urgency.

The hand she had on his face moved to the back of his neck, and gently gripped onto the hair there, nails running against the skin, and he couldn’t help the shiver that was accompanied with a low growl against the girl’s lips. At his reaction, she seemed to gain more confidence in herself, deciding to pry her other arm from between them, choosing to wrap it around his neck, gripping onto the opposite shoulder as her other hand ran through his hair once more. He could feel her heart beat against his hand, hard and fast and her heavy breathing against him, each time their lips parted ever so slightly; and he was no better. He could feel his teeth sharpening on their own accord, and his horns began to grow against his will, no matter how hard he struggled to keep himself under control, he just couldn’t, not with her.

He pulled away once more breathing heavily, opening his eyes to look at the girl that both ripped him apart and held him together. His breath hitched at the sight, her already large, innocent looking eyes on him, the green almost completely swallowed up by her pupils, her lips parted slightly, red and irritated from his assault, moved ever so slightly as she struggled to catch her breath. She stared back at him intently, neither of them daring to move, they were still so close, their noses brushing ever so slightly each time one of them took a breath. And after a painfully long pause, Satan took the initiative, sitting up more, and leaning into the little red head girl, loosening his grip on her slightly, she allowed him to lay her down across the head of the bed. When her back hit the mattress, he took arm that was once wrapped around her shoulders and rested himself on his elbows as he hovered over her. Pausing above her for just a moment, but it was obviously too long for Natalie, because after a few seconds she reached up and wrapped both her arms around his neck, pulling him down to meet her lips once again, gripping onto the collar of his dress shirt.

Once again everything was far too warm, but he couldn’t bare being separated from her, the feeling of her softly pressed against him, she was so small; soft and tender, where he was the opposite, all tense muscle and steel grip, such a vast difference from her, and it was perfect. He really didn’t deserve her, in no way, shape or form, and she didn’t deserve him, the anger, the danger, everything about them screamed that the two didn’t fit together, but by some crazy miracle they matched perfectly.

Her teeth scraping against his lips shook away his thoughts, and he instinctually returned the gesture by biting down on her own lip with more pressure. The small surprised noise she made was swallowed up by his own mouth, as he held back the urge to dig his claws into her bed spread. He pressed her down into the mattress, pulling back to pepper kisses all over her face; her cheeks, forehead, her nose. He returned to her lips for a moment, before slowly and softly, pressing small, deliberate kisses down the side of her face, until he met with her jawline. Pausing there, from where he was hovered over her, he looked over at her, for a sign, anything to tell him this was alright. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel pressured, he wouldn’t dare do any more than what she would allow him. Since he had stopped moving, she finally opened her eyes again. They watched each other, for how long, he really couldn’t tell you, the sun outside the window having set long ago, the two of them being completely oblivious to anything but the other person that was wound so tightly around them. Natalie was the first to speak.

“So um… what now? Y-you know a lot more… about this stuff than I do…”

She bit her lip after she was finished speaking, and he could feel the sensation in his own. Despite the electric feel in the air, and the position the two were in, it wasn’t a sensual thing, but a rather adorable one. The grin that spread across his face, and the deep rough laugh that came out of him seemed to confuse her for a second, but he could see the small twitch in the corner of her mouth. His own smile spread to her, and she leaned up to press a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth before laying back down. He reached up and ran his hand through her hair, watching the strands fall through his fingers, as he played with the softly curled locks. Her eyes drooped closed slightly at his actions. A small hum of approval escaping her gently parted lips.

“You should probably get some sleep kid. You look like you need it”

With that, he gently, he pushed his arm underneath her, and lifted her to a sitting position. With the motion, her grip on his neck tightened and in her half asleep state, she refused to let go of him when he tried to lay her back down on her bed properly.

“Noooo, stay m’hear with me… m’please?” came her mumbled reply against his neck.

“I’m not going anywhere kid… now go to sleep”

With that he struggled to maneuver himself so he could lay down, which proved difficult when she wouldn’t let go of him. After a few failed attempts, he huffed and gently pried her arms from around her neck, and once again, he would not admit that the small groans of disproval she made, were adorable; even if they were. Once he had managed to get her better situated, he laid down and pulled her against him, her face buried in his chest while he rested his chin on the top of her head. It wasn’t long before she was fast asleep, snoring softly against him, as he rubbed small circles into her back.

“Goodnight Natalie.” a small whisper against her hairline, not really meant for her to hear

“Goodnight Satan”

Came her small tired reply, and with that he gave her one last small squeeze, and placed final kiss to her forehead, closing his own eyes. Even if he couldn’t sleep, he could still enjoy the calm that she brought him.

@sailormoveart @eggsstirmilkate

do u wanna hear a story

in primary school i had like ok handwriting but apparently not good enough to get a pen license IM STILL MAD ABOUT THAT and like my teacher gave out pen licenses to everyone in the class except me and a guy called emerson anyway i came home and mum was like i have a sURPRISE FOR YOU cause she knew that day was when they were giving out pen licenses and she reached out gave me a pen with my name engraved into it and i was like …. i didnt get my pen license … and she was so sad and i was so sad and it was the worst day honestly i literally feel so sad just writing this thinking about it omg

anyway from then on my handwriting improved randomly and in high school people would always compliment me on it and teachers would be like wtf ive never seen someone write so neat and ppl would get me to write letters to the teachers for them and pretend it was their parents and like it was the BEST getting compliments on that because it was something i was so self conscious and sad about and it was like a massive fuk u to the teacher that didnt give my license to me on t he same day as like the rest of the class in grade 5

anyway moral of the story sometimes u get better at things that u were once shit at and its cool but also sometimes u stay shit but like in this case i didnt stay shit fuck yeah tbh!!!!!! i think emersons writing stayed shit tho

Devious Sleeper

 “Kamui, wake up.”

 Takumi was at lost on whether to laugh or groan at her childish whining.

 “Five more minutes…” Huffing a snort as vain attempt of a negotiation, Kamui rolled to her right side. Eyes still heavily closed, she even pulled the blankets up until the soft material covered the top of her head.

 Just when she thought she might get a good night’s sleep – despite the time being morning right now – Kamui actually hissed a sour hiss at the feel of the blanket being tugged away from her. “Eeeergh…” Flopping back to her back, the Nohr noble quickly cupped her face with both hands.

 She then heard a chuckle, which only burned heat in each cheek that wasn’t helping her in the least.

Keep reading


a damned saint, an honorable villain!

ok but consider this, a (really bad) over the garden wall AU where the kids/teens in the Unknown swap roles with the ones in Greg & Wirt’s world

Wirt offends a cardinal with his poems, Beatrice wants to ask Anna (the Woodsman’s daughter) out on Halloween, and Lorna was pretty happy just existing but Beatrice has zero chill

im sorry this is the second terrible thing ive contributed to this fandom but i don’t see many otgw AU’s so i had to resort to this

uh, in case anyone wonders why their request hasnt been done….. this is why
so dont feel bad if you think im ignoring you - im not, im just awful and have been letting them build up for a few months :T gotta stop reblogging those expression memes…..
(theyre all requests btw, i answer everything else as i get it)