im still atheist

i’m not going to be in san francisco when they come

but i just found out there are two neo-nazi rallies, one in sf and one in berkeley that are happening later this month

and i would go to them if i could, i kind of wish i could

but also i feel so sick. of course i know that this is free speech i learned about free speech with the example of the Skokie March, i felt sick then too, though it wasn’t quite as personal back then

i was horrified. i thought our country was broken. i still think it’s broken

and now i don’t know what to do

i’m scared, i’m really scared and i know that’s letting them win, but god how am i supposed to feel? there were swastikas at my campus last year, i have friends with neighbors who are nazis and now they’re in my home. sf has never been a cakewalk, but while i’ve felt othered and wrong because of my identity, i’ve been lucky enough to never feel unsafe. 

and now?? well i’m going back to portland for one, but they’re in san francisco. i want to fight for my city. i want to punch a neo nazi in the face, i want them to know i’m jewish and i’m not afraid, but i’m so so afraid?