im sorry tree we killed you

D&D Session of 4/5/17 AND 3/29/17!

(I AM FORGETFUL IM SORRY ;_;)

3/29/17:

“I’m furry and soft.”

“There’s rockslide ALL OVER.”

“We are developing the physics for this problem; please stand by.”

“I got this pretty swell friendship bracelet kit.”

“Why is there a random window in the house? It’s like the author was trying to tell us something…”

“COUNTRY-NATION-LAND-AREA!”

“SHOCKING GRASP KILLS PEOPLE!”

“Your FACE isn’t permitted by law!”

“PRACTICAL! I FOUND IT!!!”

“I’m like a dolphin, but not as intelligent.”

“BE THE TREE!”

“I’m sorry, we got these tiny cups…”

“His sister-wife.” 

“YOU SUCK!”

“I don’t know what you’re saying, but your beard creeps me out!”

“I’m just gonna make him an awkward teen.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll find you a class in Geography.”

“THE CITY-STATE-NATION-COUNTRY IS IN PERIL!”

4/5/17:

“ROBERT! WRITE QUOTES!” “ok”

“Large and dominant.”

“Snotty cleric.”

“wEEb!”

“I’ll make you enjoy a TPK.” ;)

“Spy kids 2.”

“You’re a butterfly!” “HOW DARE YOU!?”

“Can somebody comment the name of the wrestler with sharp teeth”

“John Cena is NOT THE SPANISH INQUISITION!” 

“When you’re 8 years old again, Robert…”

“John Cena thong.”

“I’m comfortable roleplaying. ;)”

“OH NO I MISSPOKE I MEANT JOHN CENA SONG!”

“YOU ATE MY SHOULDER DORITO!”

“It’s so hard for me to be the cool uncle when I have no nieces or nephews.”

“I’M NOT WRITING THAT QUOTE!”

“Secretly, we all hate D&D.”

“Oh yeah, it’s only been like four weeks since August.”

“Why are you still here, New Guy?”

“I make him dead.”

“I DID AN AIR QUOTES.”