im sorry too tired to do good posts

2

night time selfie studies/self portraits are the best

cartoondreamer123 replied to your post “some pic where flowey is wrapped around asriel: so does this symbolize…”

i like to think on Flowey and Asriel as different beings, different characters, but this is so true

i usually ignore replies on this but tbqh im frustrated someone would agree with what i’m saying in a way that invalidates what im saying completely. i’m sure you’re well meaning. and i ignore a lot of comments for the sake of people being well meaning but i don’t understand this fandom thought at all.

i don’t understand this fandom position. everything flowey does is a direct result of who he is as asriel. literally every belief flowey has is crafted from his time as asriel to give him a cohesive character arc. a lot of people seem to separate the two, despite flowey’s reveal as being asriel being a huge unmissable plot point. it takes an enormous amount of ignoring content to say they are different beings. toby fox: maybe undertale wasn’t voted ‘villain most in need of a hug’ bc it was too literal in that sense. do we give flowey a hug? no. we give him a hug in his furry little goat and dust body. he is the same person for all narrative purposes, post-trauma. 

a character can shake out his little goatly hands and be like ‘god i was so tired of being a flower’ ‘sorry i did a lot of weird things’ and verbally state those are his experiences, and Yet… and yet

look… im trying not to be annoyed here. which admittedly, in my position of turning over rotten logs every day to find good content is increasingly hard… but you can not say that flowey and asriel are different characters and then agree with my point. doesn’t make sense.

anonymous asked:

hey Are you ever going to post any more headcannons or imagines? all youve posted for the longest time is just your art *it's good stuff not trying to be mean*. And yeah you reblog other blogs stuff too but you never post any of your own writing anymore? Id this even a headcanon blog anymore or just a reblog blog??

I’ve had this sitting in my ask box for a while, not entirely sure how to answer it. But after a few days of thought I think I’ve managed to sum up how I feel into a semi coherent reply.


This kind of unjustified entitlement to fandom content that I’ve seen so much of during my time in different fandoms (an i’ve been a part of quite a few) is honestly why I’ve mostly kept to myself or straight up dropped out of fandoms in the past. People treating creators like soulless art/fic machines that don’t have lives/families/jobs/etc.

It’s always the same. I’d discover a new fandom, get invested, and then I’d start making content (art, fics, crafts). Then I’d get people that liked my stuff and so they’d want more. Now a good chunk of my fellow [whichever fandom] enthusiasts were very kind and respectful of the fact that I do all of this for either free or pennies compared to what I should be charging. They loved when I made more but didn’t pressure or guilt me into overworking myself to produce more.

….But then I’d get messages from certain (usually anonymous) people that would “subtly” try to figure out when I’d post something new. They’d give off the vibe that they were tapping their foot impatiently at me and it pissed me off. But so they wouldn’t look like total a-holes they’d try to veil that impatience by tossing a few generic and two-faced ‘compliments’ my way. Maybe so I’d overlook the fact that they were borderline demanding more free content from me.

Though sometimes these people wouldn’t even attempt any subtlety! Then I’d get more direct messages. People that follow me that were blatantly being impatient and often demanded to know when I’d continue that one fic, or draw some follow up picture, or make this new thing I briefly mentioned some weeks back. Things I never said I’d continue/finish but they acted like I’d swore on the life of my first born that I would without doubt do.

Hell! I’ve even had people tell me that I should just delete certain In Progress fics because I hadn’t written for them in a long time! They SAID THAT TO ME! That I should “just delete it or put it up for adoption if you’re not going to finish it”. I want to finish it!!! I WANT TO! But I have no time to spend on my wants!!! I have responsibilities that come before my hobbies!

The sheer audacity and spoiled behavior of so many of these thankless, ungrateful FREE content consuming jackasses are why I am always so wary to start creating things for new fandoms! I’m always dreading the inevitable and snotty sounding “are you gonna post anything new or??” just makes me SEETHE.

Because it makes ME think that some of you apparently think I just lounge around all day sipping martinis and watching soap operas instead of WORKING AND TAKING CARE OF MY HOME AND FAMILY.

If I’m not working on commissions then I’m either cooking, cleaning up after a house full of people, caring for my 9 year old niece, taking care of 8 very young kittens, or doing yard work. 

I do not live a life of luxury!!!!!!

I’m not sure where some people got that idea about me but I assure you I do not. My family and I are lower class people that work ourselves to the bone to stay afloat. So excuse me for not dropping everything in my life to exclusively cater to all you SUPER GREAT AND NICE ANONS!!! (heavy as fuck sarcasm)

All of this not even counting the shit I’ve been through this year so far. Like how my family almost lost our home to the State (which would have left us homeless), my frustrating tablet/pen issues, how my laptop fried, and the many past commissions I’m currently STILL struggling to get finished. 

I’m so tired. So very tired but I’m doing my best and I feel like I’m barely keeping my head above water. But I know if I stop kicking my feet then I’ll sink like a stone. So dear god, please have patience Anon. 

I. Am. Trying.