im sorry this is such a stupid joke

5

A brief apology to all of my friends who had to sit through me sending them stupid valentines cards that I made in three seconds flat. Above are my favorites, not featuring “lets be rowdy in the streets AND in the sheets” “Im not lying when I say I love you” and one horrible Bee Movie joke that will not be mentioned.

Commitment has always been scary for me. The thought of devoting myself to one person seemed impossible. I get bored too easily for that. But with you it was different. I could spend eternity listening to your voice, your laugh, and all your stupid little jokes.
youtube

wow monsta x’s beautiful looks great

  • some person: hey you free
  • me: are you kiddING ME I'M FREE EVERY MORNING EVERY NIGHT EVERY DAY EVERY TIME EVERYWHERE
  • some person: wot
  • me: mAKE US FREE NA SPLASH KASANETA
  • some person: oh uh okay bye
  • me: hIKARI NO KONTRASTO ABITE BITCH
The Signs as Adam Ant Lyrics
  • Aries: love like a dagger and a sound like a wymowheh // that
  • voodoo
  • Taurus: what big eyes you got grandma // cajun twister
  • Gemini: give me some chili sauce // baby, let me scream at you
  • Cancer: dirk wears white sox // don't be square(be there)
  • Leo: hane hane hane hane // ant rap
  • Virgo: thighslapping cruiser // friend or foe
  • Libra: da diddley qua qua da diddley qua qua // stand and deliver
  • Scorpio: hey, you got a face like a labrador // plastic surgery
  • Sagittarius: like an octopus with big x-ray eyes // strip
  • Capricorn: mashed potato, rockstedy rub // mile high club
  • Aquarius: ha ha hilla hey hallah hollo lo ho mowhok! // mowhok
  • Pisces: yabba-yabba-ding-ding (dress it up) // apollo 9
Seriously tumblr go fuck yourself

Seriously. All of you. Fuck you.

You didn’t deserve Bernie sanders.

He fought as fiercely as he could, when everyone called his campaign a joke, he somehow went from being this crazy socialist who couldn’t even muster a single news channel to cover him to a serious contender who forced Hillary to the left to continue appealing to the masses.

You stupid

You stupid motherfuckers are DRAGGING him
For endorsing Hillary, what the fuck is wrong with you, this is POLITICS.

Oh I apologize, tumblr doesn’t understand politics, well let me lay it down for you.

DONALD. TRUMP. IS. THE. REPUBLICAN. CANDIDATE.

Hillary might be an asshole.

She might be a greedy corporate run of the mill party candidate with nothing but money, the establishment, and a broken democratic system backing her up, but she’s no different from any of the fuckheads in congress RIGHT NOW.

#neverhillary?

Jill Stein doesn’t have a party.

None of these independents do. They can’t collaborate with CONGRESS.

Congress isn’t about logic or mutual understanding or coming to a middle ground.

Congress, if it’s even operating on mondays, is about knowing people and being entrenched in the political system.

INDEPENDENTS. DO NOT. FIT. THE SYSTEM.

They cannot fight it, and certainly not alone.

BERNIE KNEW THIS.

He ran as a democrat for a reason.

And rightly, he sees trump as worse than the establishment.

Now you guys have been pissing on Hillary for months.

Sure.

You hate her. I don’t like her myself, in fact, I rather hate her too.

But either start fucking backpedaling or shut your fucking mouth about Bernie Sanders betraying your bitchass tumblr hearts because he hasn’t.

And if you weren’t ruled by your pathetic “tumblr logic” of seeing people as “ beautiful angels” and “irredeemable Devils”, then maybe you would see that.

10 different ways to destroy the object that you are conserving

I’m sorry in advance.  Maybe I shouldn’t post this here, but…

1. The scalpel is your friend. Imagine you’re a serial killer and go for it.

2. One word. Dremel. Find the hardest cleaning wire brush and start the attack.

3. Simply immerse a lovely dry object in water.

4. There must be a f***ing hammer somewhere in the laboratory. Find it.

5. Adhesives. Just pour and spread over the object.

6. Dance on it. (This might need your colleague’s assistance) 

7.  Have you watched the movie ‘The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’? If so, then you know what you have to do.

8. Let one of the first year students to conserve it without supervision. They don’t even know how to change a scalpel blade. They are bound to do something wrong. (I didn’t know how to change a scalpel blade. I imagine it was the same for others too.)

9. Put whatever chemical solutions you might find on it. Who knows, you might create a supermegafoxyawesomehot explosion.

10. If none of the above does the trick, you can always throw the damn thing out the window.