“dude i know youre a werewolf and all but seriously that freaking howl laughter you do is so fucking extra and i cant take it anymore”
“you being part dog has its perks, mostly for me because whenever i toss something away your eyes follow it and you perk up like you want to chase it but restrict yourself and its honestly the cutest fucking thing ive ever seen”
“honestly though i hate my pack so much, like theyre a bunch of assholes but i ran into you on a full moon run in the forest and idk u seem pretty cool. wanna go hunting or scare some people or some shit? i know this sick ass lake thats always really warm, i can show you”
“yes i understand im a big bad werewolf now but really i dont want to hurt those cute little rabbits and deer, cant we just wait until we transform back to eat? thats not how it works? well cant i just eat before i transform so i wont be hungry–im sorry im just new at this and im sorta trying to go vegetarian here–”
“babe you know i love you and i would give up my life for yours but i sWEAR TO GOD IF YOU GIVE ME ONE MORE DOG TOY FOR MY BIRTHDAY IM GONNA PUNCH YOU SQUARE IN THE FACE”
“look im not a supernatural fanatic or anything but i swear man every time this kid next to me gets frustrated they actually growl and it sounds just like some rabid steroid induced dog, and im not saying their a werewolf man but theyre totally a werewolf”
a werewolf getting personally offended when someone says they’re not a dog person
“as a werewolf i can personally talk to dogs and boyohboy does ur little pug have some tea to spill…"
“alternatively, i find you to be really superduper adorable and whenever i come over your little dog goes off on rants to me about the cute embarrassing stuff that you do when your home alone and honestly I wake up every day for these chats”
“when I saw you climbing out of the stream I was fishing in dirty, wet, and naked, I assumed you had just survived some kind of intense mob hit or something but really you had just detransformed from a werewolf after you were playing in the water trying to catch a fish, and ultimately failing. nice ass, by the way.”
Alligator babies can even make decent pets (if you’re experienced in handling them)
Alligators do not chase you. They will not attack you unless they’re defending themselves. Basically, if you don’t get too close to them, you’re safe. Alligators are awesome animals!
THERE ARE SOME CREATURES THAT ARE DIFFERENT.
THOSE ARE CROCODILES.
CROCODILES ARE NOT NICE.
THEY’RE SORTA CUTE AS BABIES BUT LEMME TELL YOU THESE FUCKERS WILL FUCK YOU UP AND LAUGH AT YOU AFTERWARDS.
THESE LITTLE MONSTERS WILL GROW UP TO BE ANGRY VICIOUS PREDATORS THAT WILL SMELL YOUR FEAR AND TEAR YOU APART LIMB FROM LIMB JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT.
ALLIGATOR IS TO CROCODILE AS BEE IS TO WASP. ALLIGATORS ARE CHILL. CROCODILES CAME STRAIGHT FROM HELL AND ARE PISSED ABOUT IT.
THESE JURASSIC PARK LOOKING ASSHOLES WILL TEAR YOU THE FUCK UP. THEY WILL FOLLOW YOU HOME AND EAT YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY IF YOU MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THEM. THEY WILL TARGET YOU AND CAPTURE YOUR FIRST BORN SON.
Ooooohh my gosh I will literally never get over how Damen is the King of fantasizing. I love love how every chance he gets he’s thinking of cute things to do with Laurent and of course the “if I could have courted you properly” continued fantasy, like he just keeps adding onto it. I love this man to bits and pieces he’s so sweet theyre both just hopelessly in love
so this is more of a “i love customers” story, but i was working at the mart with the walls as an overnight stocker a few months ago and one night around 1 am these two women came in and one of them came up to me and said “listen i dont mean to be rude, im sorry if this sounds like it because i was drinking before but my girlfriend and i saw you and we were just curious if you were also gay?” and i dont blame them because i am very obviously not straight (like stereotypical short hair and i had lgbt pride pins on my vest) and i just thought it was cute because when i said yes she was just so happy and was saying how she never sees people who are proud of who they are even when theyre at work and she and her girlfriend chatted with me while i kept working for like 10 minutes and they didnt distract me at all from work except for the original silly question but i love being able to talk about myself with people and be accepted.
ok so like,, completely random but i just wanted to screm some headcanons!!!!!! mostly im just loving the idea of femme nonbinary hunk bc like,,, thats me!!!!!! the big chubby nb gal!!!!! what a good kid!!! also!!!! i love lance!!! so much!!! genderfluid lance is my fave thing!!!!! lance in crop tops!!!! is the best!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok but like:
hunk coming out to lance at the garrison n lance being The Best n gives them hugs n says that their valid n still amazing
hunk crying bc they was so anxious abt the whole thing even tho they knew lance was a rad guy
lance using hunks pronouns straight away n he compliments her “hunk ur such a cute girl !!!” n “wow u kno i have this friend called hunk n theyre super rad”
the two just sit there all night talking n laughing n painting each others nails , so basically a normal night for them
hunk being too scared to correct ppl on her pronouns but lance corrects them as soon as someone gets them wrong
“oh hunk is the engineer, hes-”
“oh gosh im sorry hunk, theyre rlly good at that stuff, u should ask them”
n hunk just beams n lance looks at them grinning bc “wow i love them sm”
lance coming to hunk one day n being like “hey how did u kno u wasnt cis ????”
hunk helping lance !!!! n telling them its ok to not kno n to b confused
lance figuring out theyre genderfluid n goes between boy n agender
hunk doing the exact same as what lance did n compliment lance using their pronouns
“i love lance, theyre super rad” n “lance, ur a super handsome person”
sorry if this is weird but have u seen the video with the guy that tried to get ducklings out of the road and they imprinted on him and were following him around!!!! and he was like "aw im not ready for kids!" and the lil duckies were just looking at him and man its so wholesome,, theres also one with a similar one with a goat and then a llama later idk i just. theyre the best n i think you'd love them ( ´ ▽ ` )
youre their babysitter ok istg (theyre also like 4-8) (and theyre also all related)
-a literal mess omg!!
-tries his best but ends up failing somehow
-cant make a sandwich, ends up blowing up the kitchen
-needs your help for a lot of things but not before he accidentally screws it up himself when he tries to be a big boy!!!
-like one time, you went over to babysit
-and he was a precious angel! said hi and smiled and dragged you to his room to play!!
-everything was fine and dandy until you left the room for a sec and came back to mark upside down hanging from his bed with his toys scattered on the floor when it was in a neat pile before
-dont leave him alone for too long
-dont leave him alone at all omg, hold his hand and take him as your smol useless sidekick
-tries to help take care of the kids with you because he’s the hyung and he needs to have a responsibility! (never ends up doing what he’s supposed to do but you love him anyway)
-falls asleep really easily, is always disoriented when he wakes up from naps
-has his own bed but prefers to crawl in bed with his bff and best brother hae!!!
-doesnt have a teddy bear or any stuffie and falls asleep with nothing in his arms but ends up hugging anything he can grab in his sleep
-it can be hae, a pillow, their pet bunny that manages to escape bc chen forgot to lock it up, it doesnt matter (hae pretends to hate it but it makes him feel warm so he’s lowlowlowlowlowlowlowkey ok with it)
-what a sass master
-youngest sass master youve ever seen
-pickiest eater ever omg
-doesnt like ANYTHING you give him unless it has peanut butter on it
-he’ll make you put peanut butter on pizza
-he doesnt CARE he just wants peanut butter
-such a tsundere omg hates your jokes but loves your smiles (will never admit it)
-stubborn ass kid jesus
-but a cutie so you dont mind!!
-loves his hyung mark but will not hesitate to push him down the stairs for candy
-is always there to give mark bandaids for wounds HE caused
-has to always sit beside you or mark or jisung or jaemin during movies (will not sit still unless he’s with one of you)
-tried to fly once but just ended up scraping the palm of his hand
-he’s the bandaid guy so he has no one to put a bandaid on him :c
-BUT he has you!!! and mark to the rescue ofc
-mark puts the bandaid on backwards and it accidentally sticks to his hand instead
-haechan doesnt have the heart to tell him and neither do u
-you end up putting the bandaid on hae when mark isnt looking
-reminds you of how cute and perfect he is every 3 minutes hours
-the most talented child you have ever babysat
-will sing the kids to sleep if you asked him to
-will sing YOU to sleep if you asked him to
-total suck up, will do anything to make you happy/smile
-sings around the house, hops everywhere, refuses to stop singing even if jeno threatens to throw his pet bunny on the street
-howevER IF YOU THREATEN TO TAKE HIS TEDDY BEAR AWAY HE’LL HARNESS THE POWERS OF JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF AND JUDOFLIP YOU DOWN 80 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS
-takes his teddy bear everywhere
-has emotional detachment issues
-loves his parents but lowkey loves his teddy bear more
-highkey loves you more, probably has a cute lil kid crush on you
-buy him stuffed animals and he’ll love you forever
-reallyyyyyyyy likes strawberries
-more than usual
-likes feeding them to his bunny even tho they shouldnt really be eating them
-but it makes the bunny happy so chen is happy!!
-please love him all he wants is for everybody to be happy
-the type to tug on your clothes instead of calling for your name or tapping you to get your attention
-mysterious as heck
-you didnt even notice him the first time you babysat him
-like, their parents came back and thanked you and all the kids came to say goodbye
-and then you just saw renjun there but???
-”omg i didnt even notice you during this whole time im sorry why didnt you say anything?? where were you???”
-and he just responds with “i was in the shadows” right before you leave
-gave you nightmares but you were determined to make him loud and bubbly!!
-so the next time you babysit, you made SURE to find renjun
-took him with you everywhere, so now you have sidekick mark and sidekick renjun
-theyre both useless but in a cute way!!!!
-it takes time but he goes from a chocolate bar left in the freezer for 85 years to a bagel in water!!! (what is this omg)
-still kinda tough but soft and smol at the same time
-doesnt smile often but when he does it’s like a fireball!!! watch out nasa we have a new sun!!!
-small grins and smiles 24/7
-the kids always try to include him in everything bc he may be quiet but they know he’s just shy and can be absolutely insane (in a non ghost-kid creepy way)
-they love him and will do anything he asks bc he never asks for anything usually!!
-the least-needy kid ever
-sly ass lil kid
-probably learns how to flirt from tv shows and uses pickup lines on you
-a sweetheart deep down, cares for you a lot
-will 100000% fight chenle for your heart!!!!
-smile so sweet itll give you cavities but has a lowkey smirk to it so you have to stop him from watching too many tv shows
-follows you around asking you the most dumb questions
-”do you trap people in your phone and talk to them??”
-”jae omg no what the heck ofc not”
-”how do you talk to your friends then??”
-you worry about him a lot
-tries to act tough when he gets booboos
-doesnt like crying and usually doesnt cry when he gets hurt
-BUT when he gets hurt like real bad, he’ll crack
-one time he was running down the stairs chasing jeno
-and he accidentally fell and tumbled down the stairs
-he was ok, no big booboos but his knee got scraped pretty bad
-and *dootdootdoot trumpet sounds* haechan swoops in with bandaids!! (and a HALF hug, gotta keep that tsundere front)
-and as haechan puts like, 3 bandaids on jae’s 1 wound, his lips start quivering and his eyes are tearing up but he cant cry wont cry!! gotta look tough so mark can stop babying him!! so everyone can stop babying him!!
-but then mark hugs him to make up for hae’s half hug and min starts bawling
-chen feels bad too so he hugs jae while mark is still hugging him so it’s a hug-fest!!
-hae reluctantly joins in but only bc he’s hip and with the trends!!! not bc he wanted to hug him or something
-highkey likes learning lowkey likes messing with his brothers
-he likes learning how to make traps and how to successfully prank people
-the annoying smartass kid of the group but nobody minds!! (except haechan bc hes supposed to be annoying and smart!!)
-partners in crime with haechan
-pranks everybody BUT jisung
-everybody has a soft spot for jisung
-starts off with dumb things like whoopie cushions and hand buzzers
-still uses dumb things like whoopie cushions and hand buzzers
-colours pictures as a side job hobby
-quiet and behaved surprisingly when he isnt trying to make you sit on a whoopie cushion
-will eat anything you give him as long as it’s not like, kiwis or something
-hates kiwis with a passion
-will sass you if you try to feed him kiwis
-which makes you seperate him and hae from hanging out for too long
-it never works, they always find a way to navigate back to each other
-you end up just letting him become a sass master in training
-judges your food but compliments your appearance!!
-everything you do is pretty to him
-cleaning up chen’s spilled apple juice?? nO PROBLEM WHAT A CUTE THING YOU ARE
-just dont feed him kiwis, then youre not cute
-really hates kiwis
-like, really really
-will probably slap your hand
-will apologize and hug your hand afterwards
-*cue hae’s eye roll*
-eye smiles all day everyday!!!!
-an actual angel
-youngest and cutest!!
-leader of the cutie sqaud rEPRESENT!!!11!!11!
-probably religiously likes apples
-just imagine him nibbling on an apple
-chen probably really likes him (ONLY WHEN HE’S EATING AN APPLE) bc he reminds him of their pet bunny
-a bit of a crybaby but nobody minds because he doesnt cry on purpose!!
-hurts himself a lot too smh jisung r u having a competition with mark or smth
-but he has spongebob bandaids so “who cares if im bleeding?? i have spongebob!!”
-probably wants to be like, devious and not innocent but cant
-one time, hae and jeno tried to teach him how to prank one of his hyungs but ji just went “i dunno i dont really wanna anymore” all uncomfortable and smol and timidly bc he didnt wanna make hae and jeno upset
-but it was ok!! they took him to the living room to watch spongebob
-dancing machine omg
-like, everybody in the family likes dancing but bOY jisung has such a firey passion for it, it’s insanely cute
-likes candy a lot (but what kid doesnt)
-will most likely sell his soul for candy
-instead of walking around the house, he moonwalks
-nobody has the heart to tell him to stop
-chen almost did once but when jisung smiled real wide when chen called his name, he like stopped and just sputtered out “i have apples”
-the kid that literally does nothing wrong
-you used to be suspicious but not anymore he’s an angEL BEAN
-smol and precious, doesnt like trouble nor does he like loud noises
-yet he enjoys screaming??
-when anything wrong goes down he screams like a siren so everybody knows something is wrong
-he’s practically their fire alarm
nct dream (as a whole)
-puts on shows for you ALL the time
-you were going over to babysit them once but when you arrived you didnt expect a cupcake and a performance!! (their parents told them it was your birthday so they had to be nice to you)
-you didnt even get sassed!! a miracle!!!
-they felt bad that they didnt get you a present so they drew you something instead
-didnt let mark help in fear he’d accidentally set the paper on fire but he was ok with that bc he got to monitor and was on apple juice duty!!
-likes having pillow fights
-you arent about that life so you just sit back and monitor
-jisung doesnt join in but he screams while they fight!!
-he has lungs of steel
-he doesnt join in bc one time he was running around, spinning with a pillow and he accidentally got smacked in the face (dont tell anyone but it was probably mark) and he FLEW BACK
-like FLEW BACK
-the room grew quiet and everybody rushed over “omg r u ok???”
-he was ok but no longer particpates, traumatized but also vv thankful bc woah he flew (into a wall but he flew)
-they have pillow fights real often bc it makes renjun happy and he laughs and smiles a lot during them
-pillow fights are BRUTAL
-they have never EVER seen chen so hardcore
-he karate jumps and smacks people in the face
-mark screams and charges headfirst (with a pillow on his head ofc) at everybody
-hae pretends not to care but hits SO hard (as hard as he can with a pillow at least)
-jeno is so good at dodging, so swift it’s scary
-renjun is reallllll quiet so he sneak-attacks people really easly, giving them minor (or major, if youre like, mark) heart attacks
-jaemin pictures everybody as giant, walking kiwis so he screams “I HATE KIWIS” before he runs into the fight blindly, hitting everybody and anybody he can bc deFEAT THE EVIL KIWIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-chen doesnt even have a tactic as long as he gets to hit someone he’s ok
-there’s really no prize so idek why these losers are so competitive
-HOWEVER no matter how much they fight and no matter how competitive they are, they ALWAYS have each other’s back
-like this one time, hae was getting bullied and it all started like thiS *dramatic flashback*
-they all walk home together and instead of being loud like usual, hae was just really quiet and didnt join in the conversation
-so mark the responsible hyung!!! noticed and was like “what’s wrong hae??”
-and he didnt respond so ren, jae, and jeno answered for him
-”that kid in our class said he was loud and annoying”
-”WHERE DOES HE LIVE I’LL HURT HIM” -mark 0.1 seconds after hearing that
-the next day at school, the dream team (im calling them that from now on) confronted the kid and mark went iN
-”HOW DARE U CALL MY BROTHER ANNOYING WHEN U HAVE A BOWL CUT AND CANT EVEN GO TO THE WASHROOM ON YOUR OWN, U THINK UR SLICK I SEE YOU IN THE HALLS”
-like, jae and ji got a lil bit offended at the bowl cut comment but iT WAS FOR HAE SO THEY DIDNT CARE
-mark is a third grade SAVAGE
-made the kid cry
-all while hae was hiding behind jeno and jisung (jisung was too short to hide him but like w/e)
-the kid apologized with like snot and tears running down his face
-hae lowkey laughed really hard
-they all got in trouble after
-jisung for sneaking out of kindergarten
-mark for roasting yelling at the kid
-everybody else for being his sidekicks
-their parents couldnt even yell at them bc they were so touched
-do NOT bring these kids to the grocery store
-if you do, youll get kicked out of the grocery store in 0.3343 seconds
-jisung wants EVERYTHING in the store
-hae complains every 2 minutes
-they fight over who gets to sit in the cart
-jisung, mark, hae, and jeno share a room
-jae, chen, and ren share a room
-during nap time, they all end up in one room or another tho
-they kinda hate each other (bc that’s how siblings are!!) but if given the chance to be put in another family, none of them would even THINK about it
-theyre all a mess but that’s how the dream team works!
thats so cute omg. a small little upset "no mommy!" ugh i love babies theyre so cute! the lil baby just wants to be taken seriously while all cozy in their bear onesie im so done thats too cute. oh my god what if lena or kara does the whole "what noise does a bear make?"and at first their baby is all down for it but around other people they get all shy or kara tries it when the babys upset and she is UNAMUSED and NOT about it
i’m sorry i just…i had to write it ahhh i was going to combust with the cuteness of this!!
(Elizabeth refuses to take off the bear onesie.)
Kara doesn’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing; she and Elizabeth are having fun chasing each other around the carpet and making mock-growling noises like they’re bears. It would normally be so cute that Lena would let it slide, but it’s just so late.
“Kara, sweetheart,” she says, and it’s supposed to be chiding but, if she’s being honest, it comes out more fond than anything else. “Lizzy still needs to take a bath.”
If it hasnt been requested, could you please do one where Will has gone blind? Maybe a mortal au?
ok so like before u read this take a look at this art by cherryandsisters bc tbh thats where i got a little inspiration for this ok now lets go
When people are nice to will hes nice back, when theyre condescending and patronizing and whatever when theyre pretending to be nice will politely tells them off and when people are just plain jerks will treats them the same
He likes to sit around in public places and listen to everything that goes on around him bc he feels a lot less lonely just being around people even if none of them are acknowledging him in any way
One times hes minding his own business drinking a coffee sitting in the food court at a mall and he hears someone walk up to him and theyre like “hey sorry to bother you but my friend thinks you’re cute”
Wills like “ok your friend or you” and the guy (jason) says “definitely my friend” so wills like “ok and ur friend is??” and theres another voice (hint its nico) whos like “im right here im short im not invisible i shouldve figured u’d be a jerk nobody wears sunglasses inside on a cloudy day unless theyre a douche”
insert that one fanart by cherryandsisters so wills like “im wearing these for ironic purposes ironically i cant see shit” and smiles super bright and jason’s like “ok sorry for bothering you” and starts to walk away but wills like “wait you’re gonna call me cute and walk away??”
They sit and talk for a while and nicos kinda awkward bc why isn’t this guy super offended???? But it turns out will is actually super nice?? And nico talks about how he works at a music store and will gets all excited bc he loves music!! He taught himself how to play a bunch of instruments before he went blind and nico should totally take him to that music store right now!!!
So nico takes him there ofc and gives will a seat and hands him a guitar and like wills super rusty but he can still play pretty decently and he smiles up at nico kinda shy and even though he cant see its like hes looking straight at nico
wills like “ive always been better at piano” and nicos like “we have a piano!!” and leads will over to the piano and he plays that for a little while too and like ok nico thought this boy was cute but hes fricken in love with his smile????
thank u for the suggestion and sorry for the super long delay in answering it!!
drop an au in my ask and get a list of headcanons!