First impression: I think this person likes Fili. Now impression: This person is obsessed with Fili's hair. ;)
What….EVER…ARE YOU…TALKING…ABOUT. I NEVER POST ABOUT FILI ON THIS BLOG.
OR TALK ABOUT FILI.
EVER. NEVER. *twitch twitch twitch twitch….*
*MAKE SQUEAKY NOISES*
SAJFKLFJKLAFJKLASJFKLSAKJDLFJAKLF;AKLDFASDFJKLA;FJKSAJFKLSA;DFJSKLAJFKS AJKL;DFJKALSDFJAKDJ;LFJAFKLA;JFKLA FILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I AM JUST SO -
LIKE. Can we just… can we just take a moment and just think about the joy, the wonder, the extreme AWESOME POWER that is Fili’s hair???
I MEAN HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SOMETHING SO MAGICAL? SO PURE?? I mean, we need to consider that his hair has magical properties. Now, of course, you’re probably thinking to yourself right now, “Magical powers? How do you know it has magical powers?”
Even Fili is in awe of his hairs power.
It has many healing properties, of course. In fact, Fili didn’t die in BOTFA because his hair is magical, and as a result he healed Kili with his hair and also Thorin, and everyone lived and no one died.* …** See, his hair is actually made up of a million little galaxies, stardust, cinnamon, nutmeg, sunshine, and ALL THE WARM FUZZY FEELINGS IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.
We cannot fully comprehend Fili and his hair. Our weak, feeble minds are not powerful enough to. But all we need to know is that his hair is very, very, very magical, his braids forever wrapping us up in its wonder and love.***
Like, if butter were hair, it would be Fili’s hair. And quite honestly, if sex was hair, it would most certainly be Fili’s hair. I mean I’m actually convinced his hair, which is made from a million little galaxies, stardust, cinnamon, nutmeg, sunshine, AND ALL THE WARM FUZZY FEELINGS IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE, is also the product of many simultaneous orgasms as well. Because, like….I mean:
Watch as the orgasm pulsates through you right now. ****
.I…..I need to sit down.
*I believe this to be canon.
**BOTFA is lying to you.
***OKAY BUT MY FAVOURITE BRAID IS PROBABLY THE ONE BEHIND HIS EAR SADFKALFAKFJLAFKLAF;S OMGLIKEWHYISHISHAIRSOPERFECT
****This is why I don’t write porn.