im sorry if its shit and that i dragged in 5sos

Switched [c.h.] // pt. 3

pairing: calum x reader

word count: 2,004

hi im back with another part chapter thingy whatever,,, i love this plot tbh like idk why it makes me excited so i really hope you guys like it!!

requests are always open! xx also im sick and i might stay home from school tomorrow so i might write something cute tomorrow if i can idk yet ahh

in case you missed it:
part 1
part 2


Y/N
You returned back to the temporary dorm to gather your things, a slight tension still lingered between you and Lindsay, but neither of you brought up the topic. Neither of you wanted to get in an even bigger fight over it. It was pretty much over, at this point, but you were still mad at her. And she knew it, yet neglected to do anything to make up for it.

That made you even more mad.

When you were mad, instead of yelling at her in a fit of rage, you always wrote down your feelings in your notebook you kept at all times. You hated to call it a diary–it was more of a vent book to you. That way, you could get your anger or sadness out in a healthy way instead of bottling it up inside, making matters worse and creating more frustration in your mind.

Lindsay was lying on her bed doing something on her phone while she waited for you to get all your things together. Quickly, you pulled the little black vent-book out of your purse along with a pen and opened it to a random page.

Instead of seeing your distinct handwriting on the pages, paragraphs of emotions splayed out on the lined paper, there was extremely messy words written in small little blurbs. When you looked at them closer, you saw they rhymed.

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Michael Clifford Smut → Bad Boy

Pairing: Michael x Reader

Requested: Yes

It was a typical day at school for me, I was currently sitting in history class when suddenly a tall green haired boy casually walked into the room with a big smirk on his face. “Oh Mr Clifford, late again.” our teacher said annoyed. “You know me.” Michael replied and slowly walked over to his place. I kept my eyes on him the whole time, he looked especially handsome today. He wore black skinny jeans a simple white shirt with red plaid and a black leather jacket. Damn.

I bit my lip and tried to look away from him but throughout the whole class I eventually looked back at him. I never really had much to do with Michael. I was the quiet girl, always early and a fairly good student. Michael on the other hand was quite the opposite. He had a lot if tattoos and piercings, he changed his hair color almost every month, he skipped school, he was always late, he smoked and whatnot.

For some strange reason I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him, I honestly can’t say that I wasn’t attracted to him. After a little while of my staring Michael caught my glance. He licked over his lips and winked at me. I started blushing and quickly turned my head away from him. When the bell rang to end this horrible boring history lesson everyone stormed out of class, I realized my next subject would be math. There was nothing worse really. I was pretty good at it tho, so I decided to skip this one, I really didn’t feel like going at all.

I quickly walked down the hall and out of the back door of the school. I turned my head around to see if someone could see me, all clear. I almost got a heart attack when someone called out my name “(Y/N)” I turned around to see Michael leaning against a wall with a cigarette between his lips. “Skipping school, I see? You bad girl.” He said with a huge smirk on his face. “Yeah I uhm didn’t feel like going to math.” I nervously replied. I didn’t know why but I had a tingly feeling in my stomach everytime I saw him. Michael took a last drag of his cigarette before throwing it on the ground, approaching me. “So (Y/N), I saw you staring at me earlier.” He smiled and stood in front of me. I scratched my back and nervously looked down at my feet. “Yeah sorry” I shyly smiled up to him. For some reason Michael started laughing “No worries. You’re pretty hot yourself.” He bit his lip and turned me around, pushing my back against the wall he just leaned against.

I gulped and looked up at Michael, my words stuck in my throat. He took my hands and pinned them over my head, leaning close to my face. “You know (Y/N) I wanted to do this for a very long time now.” He said and kissed down on my neck. I took a deep breath before I could talk again. “Michael w-what are you doing?” I wispered “Baby I’m gonna make you feel so good now.” He said and placed one of his hands on my thigh while he other one held my hands above my head. “B-but we’re at school we-we can’t do this here what if anyone sees us?” I mumbled while his hand move more and more upwards under my skirt. “That’s the fun part. Its so much hotter to know that at any minute someone could walk in on us.” He winked, his hands now on my heated core. He started kissing and sucking on my neck again. I tried to resist him but I couldn’t. I wanted this, I wanted him, even know I knew it was wrong.

“You’re so wet already baby.” He mumbled against my neck while his finger rubbed over the fabric if my panties. I bit my lip to keep myself from moaning out. Michael let go of my hands and placed his free hand under my shirt, moving it up to my boobs, squeezing each of the softly. “Now I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good.” He smirked and got to his knees, stripping down my ruined panties. Michael buried his head between my parted legs and licked a few times over ms slit before entering me with his tongue, sucking harshly on my clit. I bit down hard in my lip to keep myself from moaning out. I really didn’t want anyone to hear us. I grabbed Michaels hair, pushing him deeper to me. His nails digging into my waist, I was sure he’d leave marks. He started to suck harder on me before his tongue entered my opening, thrusting in and out. I threw my head back and grapped harder into his hair, making him moan. I moved my hips forward to allow Michael even more acess. “Hold still.” he growled, before continuing his actions. “You want more?” He breathed heavily against me. I just nodded, unable to speak. He smirked and once again his tongue met my clit, after a little while he pushed two fingers inside of me, thrusting them slowly in and out of me. I couldn’t help myself but moan now, I was overwhelmed by his actions. “Oh god.” I moaned. Michael quickened up his pace and I could feel the familiar knot in my stomach building up. “I-I’m gonna - Ahh” I screamed out as my orgasm hit me hard. Michael licked over my slit one more time before getting up again, facing me. He licked his fingers clean and smirked again. “You liked that babe?” I bit my lip and nodded, keeping myself steady against the wall. “Good, because I’m not done with you yet. Can you do another one?” He asked pressing me to the wall. “Y-yeah” I wispered. “Good girl”

Michael zipped down his pants, palming his prominent boner, pumping it a few times before he placed his hands on my ass instructing me to jump. I did as I was told and slung my legs around his torso. “I hope you’re ready baby.” He said before thrusting into me deep and hard. My mouth formed an ‘o’ and I squeezed my eyes shut. “Holy shit” he cursed as he entered me. My nails digging hard into his arms and my legs pushing him even deeper into me. I rolled my eyes back into my head as he started thrusting harder. “Faster” I moaned scratching over his arms, leaving red marks behind. He thrusted fater, cursewords and my name leaving his mouth. He held me steady as he quickly moved in and out of me. I felt the knot in my stomach again. “I- Im so close.” I stuttered. “Not yet baby” he said through gritted teeth. Oh god..fuck” I screamed. I felt Michael twitching inside me and I could tell he was close. He quickened up his pace once more “Oh god Micha-Ahh” I screamed out, louder than I intended, before my second orgasm washed over me, hitting me even harder as the first one, soon followed by Michaels own orgasm. Two hard thrusts later he pulled out of me and let me down again. With my legs shaking I tried to stand but almost fell over. “Woah there.” Michael laughed “I see I fucked you good.” He smirked and licked over his lips. “You sure did.”

I hope you enjoyed it. Feedback is always nice. :) x

Soulmates (Luke)

Requested: yeah!

Summary: You had never, ever been so scared in your entire life. You were gasping for breath, the pain fron your soulmate running through your body and you didn’t even notice you had fallen to the ground before you hit your head; hard. I’m gonna die, his voice echoed in your head, please help me.

Word count: 1100k words or something


anonymous said: this is gonna be hard to explain. but i saw a post about this somewhere and imagine this; when your soulmate dies, your world becomes black and white (like literally). so, this with lukey, your world suddenly flickering grey? thanks love, i love u a lot x

a/n: i think i understand! thank you i love u too x


PART TWO

You had never, ever been so scared in your entire life. You were born with the wold in colours, you didn’t know what it looked like without out it.

Your father died two years ago, and that’s when your mother’s world suddenly went black and white. She had explained to you a lot of times, but you never seemed to get it. She pointed at ta tree, told you it as grey, and then she pointed at the ground and said it was a different kind of grey.

She seemed to be okay, but you knew she wasn’t. You’d seen her stare down at her own hands or flowers or just at you a million of times and you knew she was imagining her world in colour. You had made the mistake too, a lot of times, pointing at something at said “look! It’s so beautiful, look at the colours!” and then realized your mistake as your mother put on a smile for you.

It was kind of assuring knowing your soulmate was out there, knowing he was alright. That was the thing, you had no idea who it was, but you knew it was a boy because you’d heard him. And you felt his emotions back in your mind.

When he was happy, you could feel it, a warm feeling spreading through your body. When he was sad, a thick feeling in your stomach appeared and you just wanted it to go away. You were pretty sure he felt the same for you too, though.

Australian, was your guess. At least judged by the accent he had when you sometimes heard im. Just short phrases now and then, mostly when he was really happy.

You had never been so scared in your entire life than that day, when you were walking home with your best friend. It all happened too quick for you to notice at first first. You were talking about something not really important, how she could feel her soulmate being really happy and you smiled. You hadn’t felt anything from yours in a long time, and it was kind of starting to worry you, though you knew he was okay, alive-

A flash of pain shot through your body.

You gasped loudly, one hand over your chest. You were frozen in place.

“Y/n?” Your friend was at your side in a minute, and she wrapped one arm around you, her eyes filled with sudden worry. “Are you okay?”

You stared down at your hands. The pain was gone. It had all been so quick, but you had felt it, like a knife stabbing you straight to the chest. “I don’t know”, you mumbled, “I don’t-“

“You wanna sit down?” she asked.

“I-“ your voice died out and you froze.

A repeated flow of oh my god ran through you mind, and the voice wasn’t yours. You swallowed, taking your friend’s advice as you slowly sunk down on your knees, hands in front of you. You felt the fear rise, but it wasn’t your own. Something was happening.

“Y/n!” your best friend was almost yelling, “what is going on?”

“I don’t know”, you gasped, the fear mixing with anger, “something is- oh my god.”

I’m gonna die.

“You’re not!” you let out.

I’m gonna die, I’m so sorry.

“No!” you yelled as suddenly, your world turned grey.

It was only a flicker though, a flicker of everything around you losing all its color, and the pain filling your chest was more than you could take. You didn’t even know you had fallen until you head hit the ground, and you felt your best friends arms around you, but you couldn’t hear her voice.

Your mind was ringing, your soulmate was screaming and your entire world was shifting. The colours around you faded slightly and you felt another stab right to your chest and you gasped for breath, but you couldn’t get any air in.

“Stop!” you yelled, “please stop!”

I’m gonna die.

“Don’t leave me”, you sobbed as the pain slowly started to fade, until it was entirely gone.

I’m sorry, i’m so sorry, please-

“No, tell me where you are”, you managed to get out as you tried to catch your breath again, tears burning in your eyes.

You didn’t get an answer. “Luke!” you yelled, and you didn’t know how you suddenly knew the name, but you just did.

This time, you heard it. It was weak, somewhere back in your mind, but you heard him – Michael – giving you an address.

You fumbled up with your phone, your fingers shaking as you pressed the number to the police, repeating the same words in your mind over and over again.

Stay with me, stay with me, stay with me…

You knew you couldn’t do more than that.

Your heart was racing, but you weren’t sure it even was your own or your soulmate’s. Your colours were fading, just like someone took the fade colour tool in your mind and dragged it up to 99%, holding on to the slight change of tone you could still manage to make out.

You felt a tear falling down your cheek, three hours later as you were lying in your bed, eyes tightly closed, your chest heavy and a cup of tea on the table next to your bed. Your mother had put it there, but after that she left you alone.

You didn’t know if the police did their job, you didn’t know if they contacted the Australian police and ambulance, you didn’t know how bad it was, you didn’t know anything and it made you freak.

The voice in your head was quiet now, it hadn’t made a sound, but even though that you repeated stay with me over and over again, just in case he was listening. The urge to full on cry was strong, but you held it back. The red colour of your wall was only slight, the colour of your skin looked grey, the colour of your clothes barely visible.

It was seven hours later when you woke up. A groan slipped through your lips, but you knew immediately you weren’t alone.

In the room, yes, but in your mind; no.

You saved my life.

It took you a few seconds to comprehend what was happening, but then a small smile appeared on your lips and you knew.

He was alive.

Kitten // Ashton Irwin (Requested)

Request: can you please do one with Ashton where he blindfolds and handcuffs you and he uses a cute pet name for you, like he calls you kitten or something. thanks x

ok he doesn’t use handcuffs bc i totally forgOT IM SORRY I HOPE YOU STILL LIKE IT BUT I THINK THIS IS AWFUL ND IDK IM SORRY GIBWAUOH

Your fingers tangled desperately in Ashton’s curly mop of hair as his lips landed on your bare shoulder, your shirtless body pressed against his as your legs rested on his hips and he blindly carried you up the stairs. His infamous giggle escaped against your mouth as he fumbled with the handle of his bedroom door, finally managing to push the slab of wood open and enter his small room. His teeth tugged at your lip and he was silently grateful that the two of you were home alone, a smug smile appearing on his face as he pushed you onto his ridiculously minuscule single bed.

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anonymous asked:

blurb where youre a freshman and hes a senior?

i just internally died if only this is probably going to be really long i apologize in advance

[[more]]

alright so first up is ashton this would be awesome you two would have met through a class like math bc you’d be absolutely amazing at math and you’d be taking trigonometry or something and he’d be a little worse than average in math so you’d be in a class with a bunch of seniors and you’d sit next to ashton and at first you wouldn’t talk to each other at all and then eventually you’d see him struggling and you’d help him and this became a thing you do all the time like you’d help him and work on assignments together and then you’d start talking outside of class too and even though he knew you were a freshman you’d become really good friends bc ashton doesn’t mind having younger friends ((ex: mikey, calum, luke)) and then you’d become closer than friends and yeah that would be awesome

then theres calum who you probably would have met through soccer ((i know its called football but im from new york so im calling it soccer)) you would be like absolutely amazing and you’d be on varsity ((idk if every school has it or not but if you dont know what it is its like a higher level team typically for juniors and seniors but if you’re really good you can still be on it)) and calum would be on the boys varsity team and you would know each other bc practices usually start and end at the same time and they’d be right next to each other so eventually he’d get the courage to ask you out during practice ((not knowing your a freshman, he’d think you’re like a sophomore)) and you’d be shocked bc you thought he knew you were a freshman and then after school one day between school and practice you’d go to like a small place with food or something and he’d ask you about school and it’d come up that you’re a freshman and he’d be like really? you’re so good at soccer and you’re really pretty i just thought you were a bit older and you’d be like nahh but it wouldn’t really affect anything and eventually you’d get together and you’d go out in between school and practice and he’d drive you home everyday and the end

so i just have this feeling that mikey is this kid who was really popular with girls in high school so if he was a senior and you were a freshman he’d probably meet you at a party that your junior friend dragged you to and you’d be the only freshman there but nobody knew or cared and you’d be really out going and have a lot of fun and michael would be chilling with his friends and you guys would bang into each other and he’d be like sorry i didn’t see you there and you’d be like no it was completely my fault and then he’d ask your name bc he hasn’t seen you before and you’d tell him you were a freshman but he wouldn’t really care bc he thinks you’re really pretty and nice and you guys would talk for a while and michael would make tons of jokes and you’d be laughing the whole time bc he just strikes me as one of those people that is friendly and is always looking to make friends ((even though most people dont see him that way, i do)) and you two would get really close and he’d get your number and you guys would talk and then date and be cute and stuff

last but not least is luke okay so you’d meet him in school bc your locker would be next to his so one day his locker door would be kinda covering your locker and you would have to ask him to move it and he’d be like sorry and you’d be like it’s fine and when you open your locker he’d see a band name on the side of your locker and he’d be like you like mayday parade??? ((just using them as an example bc that band is my shit)) and you’d be like yeah i love them and BAM a conversation starts you fall in love have children and live happily ever after

click here to request a blurb

A bet? (Calum Hood imagine)

 Words:1901

AN: i really love this one and it will be the last one for a couple of weeks because i have a lot of studying to do for exams but ill try my best to upload and the next one that will be up will be a smut and i fucking love this idea so anyway here is this one hope yous all like it :)

Cal’s pov

It was lunch time and I was sitting at the same table I do every lunch with the same stupid friends. “guys let play truth and dare I’m bored” I say looking at them all “okay I’ll go first” Michael says “truth or dare Calum” “dare” I say wanting a challenge. “I dare you to ask loser kid Y/N out” “no way man she’s too weir” “wait scrap that” Michael say and I give a sigh of relief “ I bet you, you can’t get Y/N to say ‘I love you’ by the school dance in two months” “oh great guys you know I can’t resist a bet” I hate these guys “okay I’ll do it I mean it can’t be that hard I’m the hottest guy richest guy and most popular guy in this school” I say with a smug grin walking over to Y/N.

Normal pov

‘I want to go home’ was all I could think on a hot stinking Friday. After finishing up my cheese sandwich I pack up my things to go home early. So what, I’m a senior with A’s I can skip one afternoon. Putting the book I’m reading into my bag I notice Calum hood the star soccer player walking towards me. Yes he’s attractive and yes mostly every girl in school wanted to date him but he was the biggest asshole I’ve ever met and probably ever will meet, and for some reason he was an even bigger asshole to me. “Hey Y/N what’s up?” piss off hood” “come on darling don’t be like that” as soon as I feel his arm snake around my waits and grope my ass I’m fucking done with his shit. Pulling out of his grip I kick him in the balls and scream in his face “if you ever, ever touch me or anyone without their permission I will kick your ass” as he rolls on the floor like a baby groaning in pain. When I look up for him I see almost the whole school looking at me in amazement, walking away I mentally pat myself on the back and grin to myself, next time an asshole like that tries something like that with me again maybe they’ll think twice.

Cal’s pov

What the fuck has just happened I think rolling on the floor holding my balls “you okay Cal?” I hear Michael ask helping me up “yeah Michael I’m fucking grand I say sarcastically “we probably should have told you not to be a dick or try something like that because she was a kick boxing champion the last two years” “great thanks guys now I’m humiliated” fucking hell this is going to be harder than I thought.

Normal pov

‘ugh what a creep’ I thought to myself driving home with the air con on full blast.

When I got in the house I ran up to my room and changed into a bikini so I could cool of in the pool.

30 minutes later

“Hello dear” I hear while doing lengths, “hey mum how was your day?” “It was good, there’s someone here to see you” she says. A few second later calum walks out of my kitchen into the pool area. “Hey Y/N” “did you follow me here” I ask annoyed “no I actually already knew where you live” he says with a small smile “I thought my gesture from earlier would have indicted the I don’t like you” I say getting out of the pool and drying myself with a towel. “just go on one date with me please” he pleads “beg” I say “please Y/N will you go on a date with me” he says looking desperate “fine I’ll go out with you” I say “pick me up at tomorrow at six sharp” “oka cool” he says looking at me just standing there “you can go now” I say walking away in to the house to show him the door.

—Next day—

Cal’s pov

Thank fuck its Saturday. “Cal comes to the basement” I hear Luke shout when I enter his house. “Hey guys what’s up” I say falling on the couch “yeah yeah we’re all fine, now tell us what happened with Y/N at her house” ash says, all the boys head turn towards me “well she made me beg but long story short she said yes” “oh kinky” Michael says “shut up Michael, but I must say she has a really hot body” I say they all look at me blankly “really?” ash askes “really man she got out of her swimming pool and she was in this little black bikini holy shit it was amazing!” “This might be worth it in the end hood” Luke says.

Normal pov

Finishing work at my mum’s record store at 4 I go home to find something to wear on this ‘date’ and get a shower. After a shower I chose my black skinny jeans and my Hendrix tee and my Chelsea boots and a leather jacket. At 5 to six the door goes. “your early” I say looking at him “yeah sorry” he says escorting me to his car which was an old mustang different for the range rover he usually drives to school “wow your car is amazing” I say admiring it “yeah this is my weekend and special occasion car it’s to special to bring to school every day” he says smiling at his pride and joy.

On the way to the restaurant I notice his outfit “I like your tee-shirt” I say noticing he had a red hot chillies tee-shirt on “thanks I like you tee-shirt too” he says smiling. “You know you have a really good music taste” I say looking through the CD collection in his car, “well never judge a book by its cover “he says keeping his eyes on the road.

Cal’s pov

As soon as the words come out of my mouth I feel like such a hypocrite. I was betraying this girl’s trust I’m such a pig! Wait what the fuck am I taking about this is a bet and I’m determined to win it.

Normal pov

When we get to the restaurant he took me to the back table near a big window which was looking out over the city “wow you sure do go all out hood” “well only when I like someone” he said smiling but I’m still not convinced this is real feelings, I mean he could have any girl in this city but he’s chose me, it just doesn’t add up.

—After dinner—

“Well Calum it’s been a nice night thank you I say smiling at him.#

—At your house—

Walking out of his car he get out too, “I’ll walk you to your door” he says taking your hand. “well thanks again, it was nice” I sat going on my tip toes to kiss his cheek pulling away I see he’s blushing looking at the floor. Night calum” I say walking in my house.

—2 week2 later—

It’s been a 2 weeks and every day since I’ve been spending time with calum and to be honest it’s been amazing and like I’ve made a new best friend.

Cal’s pov

At this point I actually think I’m falling for Y/N. I mean she’s amazing and smart and beautiful, I think while lying on her bed listings to iron maiden softly in the background (ha if you can even listen to IM softly). “Y/N I have something to tell you” I say turning on my side to face her “I had a bed going with my friends that I could get you to say I love you by the school dace” I rush out.

Normal pov

“WHAT” I shout “I’m really sorry Y/N, but the last 2 weeks I’ve really started to like you maybe even love you” “oh yeah calum that makes it all okay” I say sweetly “really?” he says smiling “No get out of my fucking house” I say “Y/N can’t we just talk about it” “what is there to talk about you fucking played me, I’ll see you at school Cal” after I say this he gets his stuff and leaves. Dickhead.  

—1 week later—

—At school—

It’s been a week and he done everything he can for me to talk to him. And I hate to admit it but I really miss talking with him and cuddling and I really like him even though what he done to me hurt like a bitch.

Cal’s pov

A week and I’ve done everything to apologies. “dude let it go it was just a bet” Michael says “I know but I really like her she actually so cool and I really miss her” they all laugh and I frown “and how is she cool exactly” Ashton asks “well her music taste is the same as ours, she can play guitar, she loves to write and just everything about her is great!” “Well I may not like her but she does sound cool, so if you like her that much go all out for her I mean you rich for god sake” Luke says “your right” I had the best idea and it was all about love not money.

Normal pov

—2 weeks until the dance—

I was really really starting to miss Calum, I miss our talks and his laugh and his stupid sarcastic comments on everything just like me an- my thoughts where interrupted by the sound of blink- 182s I miss you outside my window. I run to the window to see calum holding up a boom box just like in say anything, which happens to be one of my favourite films. “I’m sorry” cal mouthed and I signalled him to come up to my room.

As I open the door Cal jumps into a hug and I hug him tight, then he picks me up and spins me around “I missed you so much” I say when he stops “I missed you so much too probably more” “but I’m still mad at you though” “and so you should be I was a asshole I’m so sorry I really, really am and I love you” “I forgive you and I think what I feel for you is love but I’m not sure yet” I say shyly “awe your so cute when you blush” I look up at him and give him a kiss pulling him close to me “oh and will you please go to prom with me” “yes” “oh and Y/N will you be my girlfriend?” “Yes” I say whispering in his ear.

—Dance—  

Cal’s pov

Going up to Y/N’s door I knock 3 times and right away she answers in a beautiful red dress “wow you look- wow” I say, holy shit she looks so good “thank you, you look so handsome” she says kissing my cheek. Arriving at the dance we walk u to Luke, Ash, Michael and there dates “by the way cal if that bets still on, I love you” the last part she whispered in my ear, I look at the boys and they all give me the money which I was going to spend on Y/N. “I love you too” I say looking down at her dragging her to the dance floor to slow dance.

Insecurities - Preference (4/4)

(Requested for Luke but i felt like giving the other boys some love too, hope thats okay, Enjoy)


LUKE
Tear after tear fell. You refection in the mirror blurring. A wall separating you from Luke, a brick curtain shielding you from his view. Blissfully unaware in the bedroom, strumming on his guitar as you cried in the bathroom next to him. His ears filled with the sweet music he was making, drowning out the quiet sobs you let out. It was just another night like the rest where you would tare yourself apart in front if the bathroom mirror. Skimming over your body with hate. A hand running through your hair as you pulled the oversized shirt over your head. Able to hide underneath it. Wiping your eyes with a tissue, fixing the mascara trailing down your left cheek. Silently accepting that you would never match her, the girl he had loved before. Believing deep down that he would never be satisfied with you. Nothing could match up to her beauty or personality. Feeling like maybe he would never smile at you like he had with her, he would never wake up; his heart beating faster when he looked over to see you next to him…

“Y/N?”

Head jolting up you came face to face with him, heart beating off the charts.

“Baby whats wrong?” Hands pulling you round to him, cupping your face as he stared into your soul. Concern washing over his features. Closing your eyes you were pulled into his chest. A hand soothing your back, the other holding you tight against him.

“Shhh let it out its okay.” He whispered into the damp bathroom air. Sobbing louder as you clung to his shirt.

“Whats wrong Y/N? Talk to me…” Finger under your chin causing you to face him your eyes glistened with tears as you began to explain. His eyebrows narrowing as he pulled away from you.

“You think i don’t love you like i loved her? You think you don’t compare to her? You think you don’t make me happy?” He quested as you stood silently.

“You couldn’t be more wrong. Baby shes my past, shes history. Of course she was part of my life but its a part thats over, done and i don’t want to go back to it. I love you, so much. Your beautiful and smart and funny. You love and support me which means so much. Don’t you dare feel like i don’t want you or you don’t compare. I only want to be with you, Y/N not her and don’t want you to be like her i want you to be you…because thats who i love.”

“But Luke..” Tears fell again as you stood feeling mote insecure. His arms wrapping you in a warm hold.

“But nothing.” He whispered into your hair, kissing it lightly and letting out a sigh as his fingers played with the ends of it. Curling strands in his finger tips.

“I love you. Your mine. No her. You. And i will do anything it takes to prove it.”


ASHTON
Not being good enough was just another daily struggle that you had to go through. If it wasn’t failing a test or failing to live up to your families standards, you were filled with a self hatred so strong it was beginning to rule your life. The only good thing you had left was Ashton.
But tonight he was coming to meet your family for the first time, and standing in the mirror of your bathroom you were almost shaking with anticipation.

“Y/N!!! Ashton is here!!”

The nerves rose but as you walked down the staircase your eyes met Ashton who was smiling nervously yet warmly at you. His cheeks flushed a little as he stood awkwardly in your hallway.

“Hey beautiful.” He chirped with a kiss to the cheek sending goose pimples down your spine as you couldn’t hold back from smiling widely at him.

“Beautiful? Well well well Y/N looks like you got yourself something of a blind man.” Stomach dropping you clenched up feeling fear spill into you.

Directing your eyes at Ashton who was now standing with a frown and confused eyes at the comment your older sister had made. The rest of the evening continuing in this way; mother sliding in remarks at your figure and father picking apart your future. The only thing helping was the hand tightly intertwined with yours underneath the table cloth, soothing over your skin as he held it in his.

“Are you okay sweetheart?” His voice whispered in your ear as everybody began to leave the table. Of course you weren’t, being put down in front of him was embarrassing and just added to the hate you felt towards yourself.

“Y/N?” He questioned you, softly rubbing your back. The room was no empty as a singled tear ran down tour cheek. His fingertips wiping it away swiftly.

“Shhh, its okay…” His arms wrapped around you, pulling you close to his warm body. So different from the icy atmosphere your family had created.
His hand running through your hair, as he rocked you slightly.

“Don’t listen to anything they say. Your beautiful. Your smart. Your funny. Your a little weird, but its cute. Your pretty amazing actually…and i love you thats all that matters. I always will, so promise me you wont listen to them.” Your arms wrapped tighter around his waist as he kissed the top of your head.

“Im sorry about my family Ash…”

“No. They should be the ones who are sorry. Okay?” Only nodding you both smiled at each other.

“I kinda wanna get outa here, you know any gorgeous girls who might wanna come?” He pulled a funny face at you making a giggle escape your lips.

“C'mon princess, lets go..”


CALUM
Fat, ugly, wrong hair colour, disgusting accent…the list went on. Fan hate, the most awful of all. The idea that so many people behind a computer screen could make you feel so worthless was crazy. And no matter how much you tired to cope with it, the struggle to stay strong was becoming hard.

And here you stood, 45 minutes late for dinner with your boyfriend who was waiting outside the bathroom door. Hair never right, makeup smudging. Cloths becoming unattractive. Too slutty, too casual. Becoming insecure of the freckles on your nose that for some reason Calum found cute. And the prominence of your shoulders, thighs too fat, knees too big. Nothing seemed right. It was like the person staring back in the mirror was a stranger, or your worst enemy.

The rage began to build as you watched your reflection. And a blur of items flying round the room was all you could see. Picking up a bottle of shampoo you chucked it hard at the mirror, your fists following it. Glass falling hard to the ground with droplets of blood from your knuckles.

“Y/N! Y/N! Stop!!” Crying hard, you were dragged to the floor, cradled by a large body. Calum. Your breathing was harsh as he held you tight. Mumbling how it was okay under his breath. Your body calming, breathing slowing as you began to feel tired. He moved to reach for a cloth, grabbing some plasters to cover the cuts. Taking his hands in yours he cleaned you up, tears falling as he did. The breakdown past due, as your frustration had been let out.

“Do you want to talk to me about..‘this’?” He was soft not to pressure you.

“Fans. They.., they hate me. And it…, it mak..makes me…i believe them. I…i hate myself.”

“NO! DONT YOU DARE..Im, I’m sorry i don’t mean to shout. But…don’t ever say that. They are silly little girls, you are so much more than they say. I love you so much and i don’t want you to feel this way.” He held onto your body tight again, his lips pressing against your temple comfortingly.

“Look at me… Your beautiful, so beautiful and amazing. Jealousy, thats all it is. I love you so much baby..” Your breathing calmed as he cradled you against him on the cold bathroom floor.

“Lets stay in tonight yeah?” Nodding softly he kissed your cheek lightly.

“I love you, so damn much. Thats all that matters okay?”


MICHAEL
“Damn shes fit..” Michaels rough voice sung out as he ogled some model on the tv screen. Your heart pounding a little bit faster as your eyes focused on the stick thin, perfectly made up, fluffy hared woman. Looking back down at yourself, it dropped to the floor. Your meatier frame covered by a band tee, hair pulled into a messy bun, nails chipped and makeup free face allowing a few blemished to show.

Pushing his legs off your lap, you moved quickly making for the stairs. Reaching the bathroom your hand found the makeup bag thrown onto the dresser in your bedroom. Squirting the foundation on your hand you rubbed it over your face followed by a flick of eyeliner and mascara.

“Babe…” His voice followed as he found you in your bedroom.

“What? What are you doing babe?” He looked at you confused as you watched his reflection in the mirror. Standing you began to feel embarrassed at your actions, feeling the blood rise to your cheeks. Your head fell as you stared down at your feet hearing him sigh behind you following his footsteps.

“Heyyy..” His arms wrapped around you, leaning down he kissed the top of your head.

“C'mere.” Turning you around he pulled you close as a single tear slit over your eyelid.

“Baby…no shhh..beautiful girls don’t cry.”

“Then its okay, i can cry then.” Sniffing back another tear you found the courage to look at him. Meeting his warm smile he traced his thumbs under your eyes, wiping away any loose tears.

“Are you blind? Hmm? Your gorgeous. No doubt about that. Kay?” Staring back at him he chuckled taking your loose hands, pulling them across his cheeks to wipe the excess foundation onto his cheeks. You giggled at him finding the streaks across his face amusing.

“You look funny Mikey..” You laughed.

“Oh fuck i thought i looked just 'fabulous’..” With that he dramatised the statement making you laugh even more.

“I don’t need this..” He pointed to the makeup skattered over the dresser top.

“But i know girls need this shit..so i wont stop you wearing it. But. I love you even more when i can see those cute little freckles of yours.” You couldn’t help but smile at him.

“And one other thing. Don’t you ever stop wearing these band tees…” He bit his lip cheekily.

“They really do it for me, cause i know whats under them..” Winking he caused you to bite your lip at him.

“I really love you sometimes Michael Clifford.”

“You know what? I kinda love you too Y/N Y/LN. A lottttt.. And that 'extra fi’t body of yours.”

5sos groupie rant

i love 5sos but they really need to get the fuck off their high horse and realize that we dont fucking care about the girls they sleep with. but when those girls are fucking disrespectful cunts that rub it in our faces we WILL obviously get mad and express our opinions because they’re freaking exposing your sex life to the whole fucking world and theyre acting like theyre obvilious to everything when theyre fucking not. they know whats happening but they dont call them out because they don’t want to loose the fuck of the night. but when you start calling out YOUR fans for expressing their opinions and their anger and disgust towards your walking STDs, that’s when you need to realize that you need to open your goddamn eyes because IT’S NOT OKAY!!! ITS NOT OKAY TO CALL OUT THE PEOPLE THAT FUCKING ALLOWED YOU TO BE HERE TODAY AND DRAG THEIR ASS TO THE GROUND,5SOS NEEDs TO REALIZE THAT THOSE GIRLS ARE FUCKING CUNTS AND DISRESPECTUL TO US AND THEY DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT OUR FEELINGS BECAUSE ALL THEY WANT IS THE FAME AND THEY POST THAT SHIT TO MAKE US FEEL JEALOUS AND LIKE PIECES OF SHIT WHEN WE’RE NOT. WE’RE THE FUCKING REASON THAT YOU GUYS ARE WHAT YOU ARE TODAY. AND DONT SAY THAT WE ARE FAMILY BECAUSE IF YOU CALL OUT YOUR OWN FANS THAT SUPPORT LOVE CHERISH AND DEDICATE THEIR WHOLE FUCKING LIFE TO YOU INSTEAD OF THE DIRTBAGS YOU HOOK UP WITH BECAUSE THATS NOT A FUCKING FAMILY. AND IM NOT SAYING THIS OUT OF HATE TOWARDS 5SOS BECAUSE I LOVE THEM WITH ALL MY HEART, IM SAYING THIS OUT OF ANGER TOWARDS THEM AND THE FUCKING GROUPIES BECAUSE THEY DONT REALIZE WHO THE HELL THEYRE SLEEPING WITH AND HOW HORRIBLE THEY ARE. AND YES I KNOW THAT ISNT MY BUSINESS BUT THEY NEED TO FUCKING OPEN THEIR EYES AND REALIZE THAT THEYRE FAMOUS NOW AND THEY NEED TO WATCH OUT BECAUSE THE WORLD IS FILLED WITH ASSHOLES AND THOSE CUNTS ARE THE ASSHOLES THAT WILL RUIN EVERYTHING BECAUSE THEY!! ARE!! EXPOSING!! YOUR!! GODDAMN!! SEX LIFE!! AND THATS NOT FUCKING OKAY BECAUSE ITS YOUR LIFE. SO STOP ACTING OBLIVIOUS TO THOSE GROUPIES INTENTIONS AND START SETTING YOUR PRIORITIES STRAIGHT AND REALIZE THAT IF YOU WANT THIS TO BE A FAMILY THEN YOU NEED TO STOP CALLING OUT THE FANS AND START CALLING OUT THE WHORES THAT YOU SLEEP WITH BECAUSE THEYRE DISRESPECTING OUR ASSES AND YOU ARENT DOING SHIT ABOUT IT. AND I FUCKING LOVE 5SOS AND ALWAYS WILL BUT DAMN THEY NEED TO WAKE THE FUCK UP AND REALIZE THAT THE FANS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THOSE SLUTS.

*SMASHES GUITAR TO THE GROUND TO FINISH THIS LONG GODDAMN AMAZING RANT*

#8; the others are protective over you

Luke;

His first instinct when he has to leave you alone is to be angry or sad for you. It’s hard when he has to go on ahead and leave you behind with the other boys because he likes to have you pressed tightly against his side as you walk through the crowds of his fans. It’s nothing to you, the minute you’re in the venue or the tour bus, you’re curled against him and having a talk with the others within minutes, but he dislikes leaving you for too long these day. Not that it’s a problem, at all. It’s quite cute, actually. But the others are the same. They don’t like not knowing where you are when you’re walking through the crowds. They like to make sue they know exactly where you are and who you’re with so that you can all get to the same place at practically the same time. It was a little overwhelming, the boys mostly, because they just wanted to make sure that you were safe but it was still annoying, a lot of the time. Even going to the bathroom on the tour bus, they wanted to know every single time and make sure that you got there safely even though it was mere feet away from them. You knew they were just trying to take care of you, but it was a little too much, sometimes. But you were thankful for it when youwere out in pulic and around their fans. That was when it sometimes got a little too much for you. So, when your pressed tightly to Calum’s side with his arm wrapped around your middle and a girl grabs your arm and tugs so hard that Calum loses his grip on you, he’s not overly impressed. He reached out for you, curling his arm around your shoulders to pull you effortlessly back against him, glaring at the girl who had pulled you away from him. “You wouldn’t like it if somebody had pulled you like that, would you? Please don’t do that again. To anybody ever." 

Michael;

You had always been a party girl, even before you’d met Michael and since being with him an spending time with the boys, you’d only gotten worse. Well, worse was probably the wrong word. You went out a lot more, only instead of going home with random guys occasionally, you’d be giggling into Michael’s ear every night, his smile fading slightly each time you stumbled from the constant consumption of alcohol. However, this one particular night was different. Where you’d usually spend most of it on the dancefloor with Michael, he was holed up at the bar with the boys, minus Luke, downing shot after shot. You weren’t entirely sure what the reason was behind this, but at this point, fuelled with alcohol, you weren’t concentrating on anything other than the terrible dancing you were currently doing. Until you felt hands snaking around your waist, sure that there were Michael’s, finally coming to end the night the right way with you, and you leaned back into the embrace, happy for it now that you were no longer along. Luke was only a few feet away from you, but he was dancing with girls and it wasn’t the same. You had only wanted Michael to dance with you, but then upon sort of closer inspection, you could still see his hair at the bar, Ashton and Calum sat beside him, laughing and shouting at the bartender for more drinks. But you were still so out of it that you couldn’t process that you had to get away from the guy with his arms around you until Luke was marching towards you, ripping the hands away from your hips and pulling you into his arms, glaring at the guy as he practically towered over the both of you. "Stay the fuck away from her. Go and find another girl too drunk and desperate to get a good guy for herself. Fuck off.”

Ashton;

The day had been pretty hectic already, having to go from place to place for the boys, whether they were on the radio or doing a signing and you were exhausted, to say the least. And you’d only been sat in the van for most of it, so god knows how they felt. But Ashton was practically half asleep on your shoulder when you saw the sign for the services and you’d been craving a slushie all day, so when you all pulled over, you grinned, Michael laughing slightly at the look on your face. “I just really love slushie’s, shut up.” You climbed out of the van, closing the door carefully behind you, now that Ashton was lying against Calum, thankfully also asleep. It didn’t take long for you to be inside, pay for your drink and then be standing by the machine, holding the handle down as you poured the raspberry flavour icee into your cup, dancing slightly on the spot as you watched the cup fill up slowly. And then you hear it, the quiet little screams from a girl outside, your head turning to look at her as she’s obviously just noticed one of the boys and you can see Michael’s sheepish face as he spots you, looking apologetic because now you’re going to have to walk past that girl, and possibly more because she’s clearly not alone. And you were right, because there they came, her friends and they just crowded around the van and you were so not looking forward to this. Placing the lid onto the cup, you grabbed a straw, thanking the man behind the till as you walked briskly towards the van, inhaling deeply before you pushed your way through the two girls at the back, hearing their curses and shouts as you whimpered, already regretting doing it this way, but there had been no other option, honestly. It was only when you felt a hand on the back of your shoulder that you jolted forward (it wouldn’t have happened if the hand hadn’t helped you out, pushing you lightly which caused you to lose your footing as well as your balance), smacking your face against somebody’s elbow, pain rushing to your nose as you whimpered, shouting out and then Michael was there, tugging you gently into the van, inspecting your nose before winding the window down slowly, frowning deeply at the girls beside him. “I’ve never been so ashamed of our fans before. Whether it was an accident or not, I know you know who she is, you should have let her through, girls." 

Calum;

It’s been a while since you had spent any time with the boys that wasn’t on their tour bus, trying to have privacy with Calum but instead getting nothing but Luke and Michael pressing themselves against the two of you to cockblock and simply having Ashton just laugh in your faces whenever you tried to be alone. It was nice though, still, being around all of them, so you didn’t mind all too much. So, when they had a day to themselves, only one day, mind you, and they wanted to sleep, well you were having none of that, you had dragged them to the nearest park, now content with lying on the grass sunbathing in the summer sun. They were still miserable and grumpy, but it was a nice day and sleeping would have been too hot for them, so they appreciated it to some extent. Calum had practically fallen asleep beside you, soft snores leaving his mouth as she smiled down at him, glad that you had made sure he had put suncream on first if he was that tired. Ashton had bought a ball out with him, grinning at you as he kicked it towards you, the only retaliation you could give from your position was to throw it back., But left handed throws from a right handed girl clearly weren’t all they were cracked up to be. The ball flew past Ashton’s head and smacked into a man’s back. Your cheeks flushed as you stood up, rubbing your hands over the backs of your thighs to remove any grass that had stuck there as you moved past Ashton, giggling quietly at his face as you made your way to the man. "I’m so sorry. I’m not so great at throwing, clearly.” There was humour laced on your words, but the man wasn’t having any of that, staring down at you with a glare as he dropped the ball at your feet. “This is why girls shouldn’;t be allowed to play sports. They’re all too focused on their make-up and looking pretty whilst they do it.” You tried your hardest not to respond as you knelt down to pick up the ball, only for the man to kick it away, towards Ashton. “Look, it was an accident, as I’ve previously said.” You stood upright again, folding your arms over your chest. “I didn’t mean to hit you, and I’ve apologised, there is absolutely no need for you to be such an             .” Ashton stepped in then, pushing you back behind him with the ball lodged under his arm. “Look, mate. It was an accident. We’re sorry, but you need to grow up if you’re going to pick on a girl half your age and half your height. Pathetic.” He turned to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he led you back to where the boys were, squeezing your arm gently. 

support group//c.h.’2

Originally posted by legomuke

A/N: sorry again with the slow updates. Im out of school so i should be more up to date with some stories. 

Warning: mention of drugs, some shit about death, mild smut

Side note:  shoutout to my friend for helping me with this story. follow her accounts! @ew-its-not-dan-howell @goldntimeless

masterlist

PART 1 

Keep reading

Arriving at Michael’s house with with 2 six packs of Corona cuz he ran out and asked you to get him more.

‘Mikey, I’m here’ you call as you walk into his house. No reply. He must be in his man cave, you think to yourself. You walk over to his door, two beers in hand. You hear noises. Odd noises. So you set the beers down on the floor and ever so quietly open the door. It’s dark, only the tv illuminates the room. And there is Mikey, standing in front of it. Shirtless, with his back to you and his basketball shorts pulled down to his thighs. Left hand in is hair, right hand on his dick.

Your eyes go wider than ever and you feel an electric shock from your head down to your toes and it settles in your core. Making you wet and hot and bothered in seconds.

Mikey is your ‘bro’. Seeing him like this should be awkward and hilarious. But right now all you want to do is walk up to him, wrap your arms around his waist from behind and slowly drag your nails down his chest while biting his shoulder. So you do. Holy shit. He is so into it he barely even flinches when you touch him. He turns around, hand still pumping himself and leans down to press his forehead to yours, looking into your eyes. His breathing is ragged and the hand he had in his hair is now tangled in yours. He pulls slightly, knowing full well that it drives you insane. It’s one of the things that turns you on the most. You swallow down a moan and he smirks at you.'Hey’ he pants. 'Hi’ you whisper. You have no idea what’s going on right now but you don’t even care. All you are sure of is that you both want this.You push his hand away and start slowly pumping him. He full on whimpers your name. This made something inside him click and the next thing you know he pushes your hand away, grabs the back of your neck with one hand and your ass with the other, kisses you and presses you to him. It is the most intense thing you have ever felt in your life.'Jump’ he commands. You comply without a second thought. He walks you both to the sofa and sits down never breaking the kiss, and both hands on your ass. You grind down on him knowing it drives him insane. Payback. You both smirk into the kiss. He unbuttons your flannel (which is actually his) down to your belly button and takes a second to admire your breasts. ‘Fucking beautiful’ he mutters as he reaches up to squeeze them.You grab his hands and put them on his sides so you could climb off of him. With your back to him you pull down your shorts, slowly. Revealing the black lace beneath. You turn your head to peek over your shoulder at him to see that he’s started pumping himself again. Making eye contact, you hook your thumbs into your panties and pull them down as slow as possible. He doesn’t like that. With a deep growl, he grabs your thighs and turns you around. Pulling your underwear down and off and tossing them across the room. He stands up and pushes you down to the ottoman. You lean back onto your elbows and he bends down to kiss and straddle you. ‘Mikey I want you so bad’ you pant into the kiss. ‘Are you sure (Y/N)?’ He pants back, looking in your eyes for any sign of discomfort. ‘Yes babe’ you say with a peck to his lips. He lines himself up at your entrance and presses his forehead to yours. Your hands reach up to tangle in his beautifully pale hair as he pushes in to you. After letting you adjust to his size he starts thrusting at a steady pace. Moans and grunts and ‘oh fucks’ filling the dark man cave. ‘Faster baby’ you plead and fuck, he does. He moves one hand down to massage your clit bringing you right to the edge. ‘F- fuck M- Mikey I’m so close’ ‘Me too, it’s okay. Cum for me baby girl. ’ And that’s all you needed to fall off. It was probably the most intense orgasm you had yet and you fucking loved every second of it. A few sloppy thrusts later and he pulls out cumming on your stomach with a loud grunt and your name amongst profanities.You looked up at him, with his hair stuck to his forehead, all sweaty and eyes closed in post-sex bliss and came to the conclusion that you were crazy and a little bit in love with your best friend.He opened his eyes, looking straight at you and smiled. ‘That was amazing (y/n). Crazy, but fucking amazing.’ He says, handing you the shirt he had taken off before you got there, so you could clean up. ‘Yea. It was..’ you replied. He helped you up and you slipped on your underwear as he pulled his shorts back up. Grabbing your hand, he pulled you down to the sofa and cuddled you close. You lay your head on his shoulder and he begins stroking your hair.'I think we should go out on a date.’ He whispers into your ear. You smile wide, 'okay Mikey’ you answer, drawing patterns on his stomach. He kisses your head and you kiss his chest. 'Netflix?’ you ask. He chuckles, 'sure baby girl’. And as he looks for a cheesy movie to watch, you feel like this is the beginning of something truly great. 

Calum knew he was small and was not under the impression that he could actually fight someone and win. Sure he played sports and was pretty scrappy but that was about all he had going for him. There wasn’t a snowballs chance in hell that he could take on the guy in front of him who had five years and almost sixty pounds on him, but before he can stop himself he is yelling that he was going to “beat the shit” out of this guy. Sure his voice was a little high but Michael knew he wasn’t joking which is why before Calum knew what was happening he was being dragged away by Michael. 

“Dude, come the fuck on, its not worth it,” Michael tells Calum as he drags him down the block and away from the situation, until they are half way down the street and Calum is leaning against a wall, trying to regain his mind and slow his heart beat. Calum was in Grade 8 and had no shot in lasting more then two minutes fighting this six foot tall jock who just graduated school, but the only thing he could think after seeing this guy walking around town was seeing his sister after having her heart broken by the dick he just confronted. 

His sister put on a brave face when she came home a week before, eyes swollen and voice horse, but he shared a wall with her and that night when he was up late finishing his homework he should have done before dinner like him mom told him, he could hear her muffled cries. He could hear the soft songs that escaped from her room, the lyrics heartfelt and full of loss and heartbreak. It was the thought of his sister being hurt and Calum not being able to help that he thought of as he was dragged away by Michael, who was using ever ounce of upper body strength he had because Michael knew if he didn’t he would have to find a best friend.

Piercing words, eyes are red. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU!” You scream, throwing everything at arm’s reach at your blonde-haired boyfriend, Luke. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’D DO THIS!”
“WHAT ELSE DID YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?” He cried out in frustration, dodging a lamp and running a hand through his hair. “YOU WEREN’T THERE. I WAS LONELY FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!” You fell to the floor, raking a hand down your face as he tries to flee the room. Your cries were guttural, your eyes red as he walked past you to throw some things in a bag. “I’m leaving for a while.” He declared quietly. “I’ll be in touch.” You shook your head, chuckling bitterly.
“Why bother? You obviously weren’t concerned about ‘being in touch’ when you were on tour.”
“How many times am I going to have to say I’m sorry?” He demanded, spinning to face you, his face looked torn apart, his eyes red from crying or drinking - possibly both.
“I’m thinking a few more times, because obviously however many you’ve said it now isn’t enough.” You said sarcastically, pulling yourself from the floor to face him, he still had over a head on you, but you were slightly more level with him.
“I’m just going to leave then.” He scowled, gently moving you out of the way so he can get out of the house. “Before we say any more things we regret and this relationship becomes even more unfixable than it is now.”
“Why? It’s already broken far beyond repair.” You shook your head, trying to stand in his way and continue the argument but he’s not having any of it. You followed him to the door, leaning on the doorframe as he walked to his car. “Friend’s don’t let friends drive drunk!” You called out to his retreating figure, watching in fascination as the raindrops battered the floor around him, watching as the rain did the same to his hair as he’d done to your relationship when it caught onto his perfectly styled blonde quiff dragging it down, turning it a light brownish colour.
“It’s a good job we’re not friends then, isn’t it?” He called back, climbing into his car. You stared as he drove away as quickly as possible. Watched your taillights in the rain. You cried out, loudly, dragging your hands through your hair as he turned the corner of the street, desperately hoping for him to come back. You’d blamed him for everything. But you know it wasn’t all his fault. I know we were both to blame.

Luke:
How did it all come to this? I’m going through the motions again and again in my head, as well as the argument. I’m such a liar. It wasn’t her fault at all. It was me. It’s always me. I’m a fuck up. I was thinking of her constantly, but I just couldn’t bring myself to push the other girl off. I was thinking about y/n the whole time. It’s not my fault Of course it’s my fault, I did it, didn’t I? It’s no excuse. Her face was flashing through my mind constantly, I could just see the tears streaming down her cheeks, the horrible cries escaping her mouth, the shakes echoing through her body. Because of me. But I wish, that I’d never made you cry. I dial Ashton’s number.

Y/N (2 weeks later):
And I’m not sorry that it’s over. You know it’s probably what’s right and best for the both of you. But for the way we let it end. You want him to come back so you can say you’re sorry. You haven’t seen or heart from him or the boys since that night.
Your phone is ringing, you think maybe it’s Luke phoning you back. You’ve tried to phone him so much in the past few weeks that you think it’s only right he rings you back. It’s not. It’s Calum.
“Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“You need to get down here.” His voice is desperate, panicked, you can’t help thinking the worst.
“Where are you?” But you already know.
“Memorial Hospital. Get down here quickly.” You put down the phone and hastily get ready, jumping in your car and driving as quickly as you can to get there, breaking every speed limit on the way. Empty heart filled with regret.
You run into the hospital, chanting Luke’s name at the receptionist, because who else would it be? She gives you a dull reiteration of his name and then his room, where you race and see the boys standing outside, as well as Liz, Ben and Jack, who are emerging from the room. “What’s happened?” You pant, hands on your knees.
“Alive.” Liz replies shortly. “Barely. He’s been here for the past 2 weeks. Y/N, what happened between the two of you?”
“H-he cheated on me. We argued, he walked out. Why didn’t you tell me what had happened?”
“He was on the phone to me at the time.” Ashton admits. “He wanted advice on how to get you back. I told the other’s not to phone you, I’m sorry. I didn’t think it’d be fair to you. Thinking it was all your fault all of this time. I figured you’d be in enough of a bad state.”
“When did it happen?” They all exchange glances. “When?” You demand. “Oh My God, it was that night, wasn’t it? He’d been drinking. I knew he’d been drinking! I tried to stop him! It was a weak effort, I should have tried harder!” You sob, Calum hugs you.
“It’s fine, y/n. It’s not your fault, love.” You cry into his chest.
“It is!”
“He cheated on you, y/n. Not the other way around.” Michael says harshly. “And when he gets better? I’m going to beat the shit out of him for you.” you shake your head and Ashton chuckles.
“He won’t really, I’ll stop him, mkay?” He shoots Mike a look and Michael shrugs.
“I’d like to see you try.”
“C-can I see him?” Liz nods wordlessly. You hear Jack and Ben mumbling.
“Can’t believe he’d do that to her.” Jack mutters.
“Really seemed to love the bird.” Ben shrugs. “Ah, well, they’ll sort themselves out.” You sit on the bed beside a sleeping Luke, gripping his hand.
“I’m sorry, Luke. I really am. It wasn’t all you. I’ve tried to explain that to-to-to myself, I guess. I’ve picked up the phone a thousand times, and tried to dial your number, but it’s been so long, it’s never easy. It’s only been two weeks, but it feels like so long.” His eyes are fluttering. You can’t do this. You run from the room, giving him one last sorrowful look.
“I-I can’t do it.” You burst out as you leave the room. “He’s waking up, I’ll be back tomorrow or something. I can’t do it today.” It’s like trying to spin the world the other way. What can I say? What can I say?
“I’ll drive you home,” Calum shrugs his coat on but you shake your head. “He’ll want to see you, Cal.” You run from the hospital, driving home and locking yourself in your room.
You don’t go and see him the next day.
Or the day after that.
Or the day after that.
I hate to think all you had of me, is a memory that I left you, the space between what was meant to be and the mess that it turned into.
What can I say? What can I say? What can I say?