im sorry i really wanted to make this joke

bhfgbnhgfj ok i just want to make one thing very clear:

this blog is not, never was, n never has been a historical blog with any factual accuracy and is Entirely 100% Jokes

apparently sword tumblr is Really Mad about my blog bc i jus make a lot of jokes about liking swords SO, SORRY??? IM JUS A JOKESTER LADS ITS ALL GOOD NOTHING HERE IS SERIOUS

hey if youre a disabled person who doesnt like making jokes about their illness or like hearing other people make jokes about your illness, its okay and youre still valid.

if you have to hear people say unfunny comments about your struggles or pain and try to excuse it with “i have other disabled friends who are completely fine with jokes about their illness”, “its better to laugh than to cry” or “ youll have to get used to it, youre gonna be sick the rest of your life”, im really sorry and you shouldnt have to put up with that.

you are the only person who gets to decide whether youre okay with certain jokes/jokes at all about your illness, no one but you.

youre not overly sensitive or boring for not wanting to poke fun at something awful that is happening to you.

please come @ anyone tryna make that decision for you, your illness has already taken so much away from you, dont let anyone else take anything else away.

  • Young Keith at the Garrison: Hey Shiro, is it normal for people to keep asking me to nap with them?
  • Shiro: ...
  • Shiro, steepling his fingers against his lips: By chance was the phrasing they used "sleep with"?
  • Keith: Uh, yeah... but I don't see-
  • Shiro: Keith. Buddy. Little bro. Brogane Jr. "Sleep with" in this context has more... sexual connotations... if you catch my drift (please catch my drift)...
  • Keith: ... that would explain why the one person I took up on the offer started getting naked.
  • Shiro, rolling up his sleeves: Direct me to their room.
Just friends

A/N wow who knew my titles could get even shittier. okay so i dont wanna be like slacking all the time, and i know i said this fic would be up last week but my mental health has been absolutely shit so im sorry. anyway 90% is dialogue and its pretty shit but yeah here you go i guess. im lowkey proud and my goal for this fic is 300 notes (i got 280 on my last one so far). if you like please like/ reblog and send me prompts!!!

WARNINGS/ TAGS: excessive dialogue, minimal editing, lots of praise, fluffy smut, riding, friends to lovers, mentions of kickthesticks oops


Dan walked around the cafeteria in his worn out converse and ripped jeans, trying to spot which table his friends were at today. As usual they were in the very corner of the cafeteria, all huddled together and laughing. Dan sat between Byrony and Phil as soon as he reached the table. Once he placed his school lunch down on the sticky table Phil instinctively wrapped a protective arm around his best friend’s waist. Phil didn’t know it, but Dan had a huge crush on him, anyone who met them definitely knew. Thats why their friends made fun of them constantly, because Dan had told them his obvious secret.

“Tone down the PDA mate,” PJ laughed from the other side of the table.

“Oh shut up PJ, you’re just jealous because you don’t have someone you can do this with,” Phil shot back. PJ just scoffed and Dan giggled, leaning into his friends touch.

“As if, Chris clearly wants PJ to fuck him,” Dan said without thinking.

“Dan! You said you could keep a secret you dick head!” Chris blushed violently and hid behind his own hands.

“Wait what?!” PJ exclaimed as if it wasn’t obvious. Everyone laughed except for Chris, who was still hiding. PJ took Chris’s hand from his face and held it while whispering something that no one else could hear.

“Oi, tone down the PDA mate,” Phil mocked.

“Oh shut up Phil,” Byrony but in, “So how long have you and Dan been together Phil?” Dan blushed and hid in Phil’s side. If they kept making jokes like this Phil would find out soon, and he couldn’t have that, it would ruin his friendship with Phil.

“Come on ass hat. You all know were not together and never will be,” Dan remarked.

“Mhm sure honey,”

~~

Later that day they were all going out to a movie, Dan had a backpack with a blanket and “secret” snacks to sneak in for him and Phil. Knowing them, they’d end up putting away the arm rest in the theater and cuddling while wrapped in the blanket, no matter what movie it was. Dan found it as his own personal heaven and suggested movie nights each week months ago. It was his only way to get the physical affection he craves and not be teased by Peej.

“Hey Phil, do you want to come over tonight? My mums not home, we could stay up all night.” Chris asked waiting in line for their tickets.

“Sorry mate I’m already going to Dan’s tonight.”

“Yeah to fuck!” Peej laughed at his own dumb adolescent joke. Byrony giggled and nodded her head.

“You aren’t funny dick, we’re just friends!” Dan defended.

“You literally sat in Phil’s lap on the way over here,” Byrony said while giggling more, “And he played with your hair!”

“Thats what friends do!”

“Uh huh sure”

~~

During the movie Dan had somehow migrated into Phils lap again. Phil was playing with his hair with one hand and rubbing agonizingly slow circles on Dan’s hip with the other. Dan had no clue how Phil did this and still somehow payed attention to the movie. The entire time he buried his head in Phils neck and he was imagining fucking Phil. He knows its wrong to think about these things while he’s in his best friends lap but he cant help it.

Slowly Dan started to grow hard, he shook his head and tried to think about anything else. grandma grandma grandma.

“You okay babe?” oh yeah, another thing, they always called each other babe and baby, but they’re just friends mind you.

“Mhm just tired,” Dan faked a yawn and snuggled farther into Phil’s neck.

“Go to sleep then, I’ll carry you out to the car later and wake you up when we get back to your house.”

“Mmk darlin, night.” Although Dan was faking the yawn he was quite tired, and he wanted to stay up late tonight. He decided it was best to just stick with the lie and go to sleep on Phils chest.

~~

Dan was currently snoring lightly on Phil’s chest and muttering something incomprehensible while being carried out to the car.

“Oi, wake princess up,” Chris snickered.

“I’ll just sit him on my lap and buckle him in with me. Let him sleep asshole.”

“You know he likes you right?” Byrony stated matter of factly.

“Yeah right, stop joking guys, you know I like him, theres no need to get my hopes up,” Phil scoffed and sped up towards the car.

Their three friends shook their heads behind him. Dan and Phil would find out eventually. Right?

~~

“P-Phil,” Dan said lightly while tightening his grip on him. Phil thought that Dan had woken up so he responded with a small “hm?” but got no response. They had just dropped off Byrony and now were heading towards Dan’s house. Since Phil didn’t get an answer he just assumed Byrony slamming the door woke up Dan for a split second.

That was until Dan grinded against Phil’s thigh. Phil felt a surge of arousal shoot through his body. Dan did it again and Phil gasped. Dan opened his mouth to moan again but Phil quickly covered his mouth. He couldn’t believe this. His best friend, not to mention his crush, was having a wet dream. In his lap. In the back of their friends car. Moaning Phil’s name! Phil debated waking him up, or just waiting until they got home and ignoring the whole situation. His awkwardness decided the second option was best.

Only seconds later Dan was grinding again and panting against Phil’s hand which was still covering his mouth. Phil prayed to every god he could think of that this car ride would be over soon because he was starting to get hard under his sleeping friend. He knew that he shouldve moved his hands from where they were on Dan’s hips because he didnt want to invade his friends space during a dream like this. Phil’s self conscious had a different idea though and moved his hands somewhere worse. Dan’s plump ass. He knew it wasnt right but he couldnt fight his instincts. Dans grinding slowed, but only so that he could push back into Phil’s hands.

Phil squeezed hard and Dan’s eyes shot open.

“Oh no,” Phil whispered almost completely silent.

“Ph-”

“Okay guys, we’re here.” Peej announced from the front seat, “See you guys Monday. Have a good weekend.”

Dan slowly and cautiously crawled out of Phils lap, careful to hide his hard on from his friends as they said goodbye. When Chris and PJ pulled out of Dan’s drive way Dans mouth failed to make a sound even though he opened it.

“I’m so sorry Dan! I dont know what i was thinking but you were grinding on me- and- an- and you moan- moaned my name! My body was just reacting I’m so so so sorry!!” Phil spat out quickly.

“Hey, ba-Phil, don’t worry, its okay, I lik-” Dan paused and didnt finish his thought, “Lets just go inside. We dont have to talk about it if you dont want to okay babe- Phil.”

“Oh god I’m so sorry for making things awkward I didnt mean to but you kept going and oh god im so sorry-”

“Has anyone ever told you that sometimes you need to shut up Philly?”

“Make me,” Phil shot back but instantly regretted it. “Oh my god I didnt mean t-”

He was cut off by Dan’s lips against his.

“Do you really think you touching my ass bothered me? You even said yourself that i was moaning your name idiot.”

“Shh,” Phil joked and grabbed Dans hand. The kiss had boosted Phil’s self confidence, and he thought back to what his friends said about Dan having a crush on him. “How about we go up to your room baby? We can handle the little problem I have and sort our relationship out afterwards.”

“O-okay,” Dans usually dominating voice was small and timid now. He led Phil into the house and tugged his hands up the stairs. He wasnt leading because Phil didnt know where to go, of course he did, but because Phil was going at the slowest pce possible so that Dan would have to wait. “Please Phil, come onnn~” he whined.

Once they reached Dans room he flung the door open. “Calm down baby, you’ll get what you want if you wait.”

“But I want you now-” Dan was going to continue complaining like a child but he was cut off by a kiss.

Phil pulled away and smirked,“Thats pay back for cutting me off earlier dick.”

“Philly! No cussing!”, he playfully hit him on the chest. He was glad that his crush changed nothing. Hell, him grinding on his friend while having a wet dream changed nothing. They were still best friends and this moment made that clear to Dan. Phil smiled goofily at him and leaned in again, only to end up kissing Dan’s cheek though because Dan moved at last minute. Dan giggled and did it again when Phil attempted another kiss.

“Oh whatever babe, now come on, I wanna kiss you more.”

“Hmm- Nope.” Dan slid out of Phil’s grip and giggled as he ran across the room and leapt onto his bed. Phil chased after him, laughing also. He sat down next to Dan and just gazed at his friends eyes.

“You’re so gorgeous Dan,” he said as he reached out and cupped his face, “Can I kiss you again?”

“I dunno can you?” Dan teased. Phil rolled his eyes and leaned in slowly. Their lips collided and Dan swore he could feel his heart beating out of his chest. It all seemed so real, Phil’s hand in his hair, Phil’s lips on his own. Quickly he became paranoid. Even though they had this moment of goofing around would their friendship change after tonight? Would they end badly? Apparently Phil could hear him thinking because he pulled back.

“Dan, baby calm down. We can stop if you want, we dont have to do anything. We can even pretend this never happened if thats what you want. I would never do anything to hurt you love.”

“I’m just scared- I want you though, now come here again,” They kissed at Dans pace and soon Dan leaned back and rested his head against the pillows. “Will you touch me? Please? I dont care what you do. Just please-”

“Of course princess. Can I straddle you?” Dan nodded and Phil climbed into his lap. He lowered his hands down to Dan’s sides and looked up for consent before putting his hands under Dan’s shirt. It was all so intimate, Dan couldnt help but moan at the light little touches running up and down his chest.

“Please- just give me more please baby I’ll do anything.”

“We’re gonna go slow okay? Just wait and you’ll get what you want.”

Phil took Dans shirt off after asking if it was okay and slowly started to kiss over his chest. “You’re so pretty, have such a nice chest and a lovely stomach.” He pinched Dan’s side in a joking manor and smiled up at the giggling boy.

Dan blushed and looked away,“Oh come on youre just saying that,”

“I know you just found out I fancy you, but ever since we met I have thought that. Youre truly breathtaking Dan, and if youll let me I’d really really like to touch you right now.” He kissed down Dans stomach, closer and closer to his pant line.

“Plea-” His plead was cut off by a loud moan as Phil kissed his dick through his skinny jeans. “More. More More More Please!”

Phil unzipped Dans skinny jeans and started to pull them off. They got stuck at mid thigh and Dan burst out laughing. “Stop laughing you dick!” That only made him laugh more. Phil silenced him though by mouthing over Dan’s briefs. Dan gasped as soon as he felt the warm sensation through his underwear and Phil could feel his friends cock twitch.

“How far do you wanna go love?”

“Can- I- um-” Phil was sliding Dans skinny jeans off fully as Dan was attempting to speak.

“Mhmm?”

“Can you fuck me?” Dan said in one breath. Phil smiled up at him while he took his own shirt off.

“How about you ride me? That way you can control the pace baby. Does that sound nice?” Dan glanced at Phil’s exposed chest and was only half listening when he nodded. “Have you ever prepped before? If you know what im trying to say…” Phil stared down at his feet and blushed as he was saying this. Dans confidence had shot through the roof with all of the compliments Phil was giving him so he decided to go with his cocky response.

“Of course I have, I did this morning in the shower. Thinking about your nice thick cock. I want it everywhere. In my hand, in my mouth, in my ass.” Phil groaned and hurried to take off his own skinny jeans while Dan kept going. “I even did after school too, before the movie. I was thinking about you touching me the whole time. Thinking about your fingers trailing all up and down my chest. Thinking about your lips nipping at my neck-” he was cut off by Phil doing just that. He left a love bite right above his shoulder and then carried on with more all over Dan’s neck. He left one right below his jaw, one on his collarbone. Anywhere he could reach.

“So I dont have to stretch you then?” Phil laughed in a teasing way and asked Dan where he kept the lube.

“Be-bed side table-” Dan blushed as Phil pulled Dan’s boxers down.

“Hm? Why are you so nervous? What else am i going to find?” He said casually as he slipped off his own boxers and reached for the drawer.

When Phil opened the bed side table he expected pornos, or the pair of joke hand cuffs PJ got Dan last christmas. But not all of these. No. He would never guess that dan would have these.

Lets just have a run down of what exactly Phil was looking at. A drawer full of bright pink and purple dildos. And vibrators. And lacy panties. Black ones to be specific. And two bottles of empty lube and one fairly empty bottle of lube. His jaw dropped as his picked up a huge vibrator. Phil would say that hes a pretty big guy down there but this fucking vibrator was at least ten inches.

Dan hid behind his hands as Phil examined all of the different vibes and such.

“Hm.. maybe we’ll have fun with those later, but for right now I think I’ll just have you ride me.” He smirked again cheekily and Dan just rolled his eyes and grabbed the last bottle of lube and a condom.

“Shut up and turn over so I can ride you, you dick,” he said as he rolled the condom onto Phils dick.

“Oh look at Mr.dominant coming out. Who wouldve guess you’re dominant with all of those toys in there?” Phil snickered at his own joke but Dan just hit his chest and shut him up with a kiss.

Since Dan was acting so needy Phil decided it was best to just get on with it. So he had Dan straddle him and positioned his cock right at Dan’s entrance. As Dan slowly sunk down onto the tip of Phil’s dick they both groaned. Phil had to try with all his might to keep his needy teenage body from bucking up into Dan.

“Oh god- can I go further?” Dan asked.

“Of course you can doofus.”

Dan tweaked his nipple for that comment; which was simultaneously causing pain and pleasure for Phil. He began to go further, taking in an inch at a time and pausing to groan and take a breath. It was pure agony for Phil to just sit there completely still so he tried to distract himself with praises for Dan.

“Good job baby boy, you take me so well, look so good like that.”

While Phil let these praises out Dan had nothing to do but gasp and moan. When he finally got all of Phil’s cock inside him Phil stopped with the praises and instead bit all over Dan’s neck again. The love bites from earlier were already starting to fade since they were nothing more than a little nip, but Phil was determined to leave a mark this time. He sucked and pulled at the skin with his teeth, pulling away only a couple times to kiss over the freshly bruised skin. When he was done leaving a bright red mark Dan was panting and pleading him to let him move.

Of course Phil immediately told him to go whenever he was ready so Dan began bouncing up and down. Even though Phil knew Dan was a virgin he guessed by all of the sex toys that Dan was used to having something up his ass.

“Please Phil, its not enough, I need you to fuck up into me~”

Phil listened and started to thrust up at the same time that Dan was coming down. He knew he found Dans prostate because Dan gasped and went even faster at the same angle.

“God baby you look so good, fucking yourself so good. Can’t wait to see your pretty face when you cum.”

These little comments only seemed to spur Dan on more, but soon it was too much and he was completely wrecked. He lifted himself up off of Phils cock and laid next to him.

“Phiw- is too much- need you to fuck me, m’ legs are too tired…”

“Of course they are you lazy oaf,” after his remark Phil got right to it. He slid his cock right back into Dan and started to thrust back and forth. He could see Dan getting needier by the second, begging for more and blushing and gasping. Phil was entirely blissed out by all of the sounds Dan was making and by how good it felt.

“Do you think you can cum untouched baby?” Dan nodded fiercely and moaned at the though of it. He reached behind Phil and pulled him down closer by his neck.

“Fuck- Phil I’m getting close-”

“You look so good baby, I bet you’ll look stunning when you cum. Begging for more, youll look so perfect.” Dan moaned at his words and started to grind back against Phil movements. Phil found Dans prostate again and pounded into it relentlessly, still letting little praises come out. “Such a good boy. Take me so well. You feel so good.”

Dan writhed on the sheets beneath Phil and clenched his sheets tight with both fists. “I need you Phil- need to kiss you.” Phil obliged and leaned down to kiss the needy boy beneath him while keeping the same speed.

“Are you going to come baby boy?”

Dan groaned and released as a response. He felt as if he was floating for a second. His vision got blurry as he released white streaks all over him and his best friend. When Phil saw the completely blissed out face of Dan he locked eyes with him and released inside the condom.

As Phil pulled out Dan found himself feeling empty. Even though some of his toys were huge, none of them felt that good. Phil reached over to Dan’s bedside table and grabbed some tissues that were obviously there for this reason.

“So..”

“No- no talking now please. Jus’ some cuddles please?” Dan looked up with a pleading, almost innocent look and Phil just couldnt resist. He threw out the tissues and the condom and laid next to Dan. Dan instantly wrapped his legs around Phil’s waist and arms around his neck and kissed him swiftly on the cheek. “Night cutie, we’ll talk in the morning over some pancakes and tea okay?”

“Sounds great love, goodnight.”

lol so I accidentally posted this before it was done and deleted it in a panic so here it is in a text post @denbroughbill

ok a) trans things are my fave things and b) I’m all up for those extra points bc I’m a try hard so get ready for some supportive boyf richie

- ok so bill cuts his hair short when he’s like 14 and it’s before he even realises he’s trans, he’s just a tomboy, like hard-core internal transphobia and denial even tho like every sign was there from the age of like 5

- starts dating richie when they’re 15, and always steals richie’s clothes like all the time, until richie literally has one outfit left and that’s the one he has on right then

- richie has to take bill aside and ask him for his clothes back because otherwise he’s gonna show up to school naked

- and bill kinda bashfully admits that richie’s clothes make him feel more comfortable because his parents only really buy him really girly clothes

- and richie totally works it out before bill actually accepts it enough to come out and makes some dumb joke along the lines of bill’s dick is bigger than any of the other losers

- richie literally just makes so many jokes to poke and poke and poke until one day they’re at the barrens with everyone else and bill joins in on a joke and accidentally lets it slip

- but then he freaks out and runs away from the losers and richie runs after him and finds him hiding behind the tree where rich and bev go to smoke and he’s crying

- and richie sits down next to him and makes a joke about bill looking really handsome when he cries and bill lets out like. a choked bubbly laugh

- “I’m–im sssss-suh-sorry” “fuck off” “you’re h-huh-hugging mmm-me I can’t l-luh- can’t leave”

- bill keeps trying to apologise bc he thinks he lied to all the losers but especially to richie??? and he tells richie it’s okay if he wants to break up with him

- rich punches him in the arm and tells him to shut the fuck up and that he’s hotter as a dude anyway and drags him back to where the rest of the losers are sitting and holds his hand while he explains everything

- and they all start hugging him one by one until they’re all group hugging and bill can barely breathe in the middle

- they all pick up odd jobs and do extra chores in secret to save up and buy bill his first binder

- and richie knocks on his door one day with this giant grin on his face and this package that’s so obviously been wrapped by eddie or stan bc it’s too neat for richie

- and the rest of the losers are waiting on the sidewalk watching and chattering excitedly

- bill cries a lot when he opens it

- Bowers gang come after him when he starts wearing a binder, calling him a tr*nny and other equally disgusting shit

- u bet richie tozier goes wild and ends up needing a trip to the hospital for broken ribs, arm, and nose, but grinning like a bastard bc he stood up for his boyf

- every time richie calls bill his boyfriend bill’s heart flutters

- bill & bev have always got their periods at the same time and used to have like, period parties where they’d watch sappy movies and eat ice cream and cuddle and cry

- and when he comes out as trans he thinks they won’t do that anymore bc bev will see him differently

- but she knocks on his door with her arms full of comfort food and rented movies and she’s just like??? dude let me in the ice cream’s gonna melt

- he cries before the movie starts and she’s just ????

- and he says that he thought she’d hate him now and their friendship would change

- and her reaction is essentially “dude you’ve not changed I’ve not changed why the fuck would anything have changed”

- “also take ur binder off u pussy i read it makes u hurt more”

- speaking of,,,, every time richie stays at bill’s house or vice versa richie bullies bill into taking off his binder

- bc initially he’s really anxious about rich seeing him without his binder on because “y-yuh-you l-liked me as a guh-guh- a girl”

- richie laughs and almost makes a joke about bill being the best of both worlds until he sees that bill actually looks really upset

- “yeah, I liked you as a girl; I love you as a dude tho”

- u bet that’s the first time richie says he loves bill

- bill goes into the bathroom to change into a giant sweatshirt that hides everything and when he comes back out his eyes are red and puffy and richie tells him he looks really fucking hot

- and they cuddle in bill’s bed and bill has his face buried in richies chest

- and richie gets really sleepy and mumbles that he really does love him

- and bill looks up at him with the most lovey dovey eyes and doesn’t stutter when he says it back

- that’s the first night that bill actually feels okay with his body since puberty started happening

- the losers all save up again when he turns 18 to help pay for hrt because his insurance doesn’t cover it and his parents won’t pay

- and richie gets mike to punch him in the face so they have an excuse to go to the hospital so they can surprise him !!!!!

ok this got super long but I love trans bill a lot

Daddy (M)

Member: Yugyeom (Got7)

Genre: Smut 

 Hi. I was wondering if you could make a got7 yugyeom smut, with you calling him daddy and he teases you, making you really needy for him. And he ties you up to the bed. And the rest is up to you. 

 A/N: ok so im sorry if you dont like it cause im new to this daddy kink thing, as well as the tying up, but i tried. Also I know I said I was tired of writing smut. I had a little section of this to finish but I decided to do so. Admin 🌹

 ___________________________ 

“When will you stop?“ “When I want to.” You sighed in annoyance from the fact your boyfriend, Yugyeom, has been making these sexual jokes. Not that you didnt enjoy them, but neither you liked them. It was just getting out of hand, and you needed it to stop before something slipped out your mouth. 

“When do you want to stop?” You asked trying to get smart with him. “Not anytime soon.” He replied walking into the kitchen. You groaned and stuffed your nose into your book. ‘How do I manage to live like this?’

 “Yugyeom, stop being so dadd…” Yugyeom snapped back around with a halfly surprised halfly sly expression. You abruptly put your yapping to a stop and whispered the rest of your life ending sentence “y…” He asked in a dark manner, “What was that? May you repeat it for me?” You obviously knew you messed up. He was going to tease you on and on, and that would be the end of you.

 It probably slipped out for the reason being, you were kind of turned on.

 You just didn’t want to show it. “I-I said nothing.” You trembled as you let more words out your mouth. “Oh really? Because I think I just heard a ‘Daddy’ from my baby.” You were getting even wetter from him walking closer at a slow pace. “Fuck you.” You heaved under your breath. “Daddy would enjoy that.” He said with a smirk before disappearing back into the kitchen. You were in deep trouble and you knew that. You dropped the book on the ground, that not being your interest at the moment. You wanted to know what would be happening tonight. ________________________________ 

 You stepped out of the shower, the thought of the event that occurred just a few hours ago now haunting your thoughts. As you stepped out the bathroom, you were surprised by slow but sexy music and Yugyeom. 

 With a rope. 

 With a smirk he signaled you over to stand in front of him. As you moved to your place he bit his lip, your lower area feeling wetter than before. “I heard you say you wanted to fuck me. Am I right, kitten?” You felt your knees slightly shake. You nodded your head. “I expect a spoken answer.” He affirmed sternly. He had a cold look in his eyes, making you even more needy. “Yes.” You croaked. “Yes what?” He asked with full confidence “Yes d-daddy…” “Good girl.” He softly praised. “But daddy would like his turn first.” He stood up and swiped the towel away from your tight grasp, showing your bare body whole.

He purred while licking his lips, examining what he has to work with. “Come on kitten. Make daddy want you more.” It took you a few seconds to take in what he said before your lost expression turned into darkened eyes and a smirk. You took in the music’s sound before starting to roll your hips. You moved to the rhythm slowly, touching yourself while doing so. Your sharp stare stayed at Yugyeom the whole time, and he returned the look with hungry eyes, making him look like in any second he’ll pounce and tear you up. 

 You ended by slowly walking to him and wrapping an arm around his neck and your leg positioned next to his hip. As soon as you made contact with him, his hands automatically held onto your waist as if he was holding on for dear life. Technically, he was. This was another side of Yugyeom. Something you’ve never opened before. It was so different, but you loved it. You loved how his eyes grew twice in size from seeing you, and shined brighter than before. You loved the sudden need for you that he had. You loved his automatic but unplanned moves he made.

 He looked at you with such a meaningful look in his eyes and smiled. “Lovely.” He croaked. He lightly laid you on the bed and took the rope from the nightstand and tied you to the headboard. This was surely something new since he barely tied or cuffed you, though you know about his collection that he thinks is ‘hidden’ in his closet.

 He slid off his pants to reveal the clothed dent through his underwear. Your mouth slightly started watering from the sight. He saw you and seemed happy with the reaction and slowly proceeded to take of the cloth hiding his manhood. As soon as it was all off, he climbed on top of you and played with you for a little bit. To him, your reaction was priceless. You were panting and your eyes went wide, reason being you are very sensitive.

 He was sliding his dick up and down the section between your breasts while massaging them, which again, was something you’ve never experienced before. It was so new but so nice. After a few minutes of touching you and whispering some nasty stuff in you’re ear and in general make you go crazy, he moved up to your face. “Now, kitten, let’s see what that pretty mouth of yours can do, hm?” And without warning, pushed his package into your mouth.

 You immediately gagged from how far he pushed down. Your eyes were watery as you circled your tongue around it, Yugyeom moaning in absolute pleasure. He continued thrusting into your mouth as you chocked, tears falling from your eyes. You ran your tongue over his member and sucked on it as he became a moaning mess. His thrust that used to be hard and forceful became softer and softer until he released into your mouth. 

You swallowed his release before he pulled out of your mouth, you both panting. He recovered quickly moving onto his favorite part. He moved back down your body to where your entrance is. His fingers traced your folds making you squirm just from his fingers making the slight contact. “You’re so wet.” He darkly mumbled loud enough for you to hear. 

He then began to rub your clit clock wise, which caused you to have dangerous spasms. “Does that feel good, babygirl?” He asked in his raspy voice. You grunted before a moaned “Yes” escaped your lips. “Yes what?” He stopped looking you in the eye scarily. “Y- yes daddy.” “I let you off this time. If I’m not properly addressed, that equals one slap. Understood?” “Yes daddy.” You quickly responded. “Good.” He said.

 Yugyeom slowly slid his member into you, you gasping from the sudden stretching of your entrance. He stopped once his head was inside. You became very annoyed and started rocking your hips just to find the side of your hip stinging. “Did I ask you to move?” He spat, his face an inch away from yours. “No daddy.” You squealed frightened. “If you want to get what you want, I expect you to be a good girl. Is that understood?” “Yes daddy.” Your mind was racing from how sexy he is angry.

 He got back to business, except he started pounding into you. You became a moaning mess while Yugyeom was grunting, putting more energy to each thrust. “Daddy!” You screamed as your eyes roll back. “That’s it baby. Scream my name so loud my family can hear it. Scream to everyone how much you love me.” His fast thrusts became sloppy until you saw stars and let your release go all over him, your whole body becoming limp. The same must have happened to him because you felt something spill inside you and he rolled aside.

 You both were breathing heavily. There was silence for a long time until Yugyeom finally spoke up. “Sorry. Did I go too far?” He slowly untied your wrists. “Yeah you did, but I admit, it was really hot.” You smiled. He smiled back and gave you a peck on the cheek. “So are you saying I should do this more often?” He asked before pulling you towards him and bringing up the covers to cover both of you.

 “You really should, Daddy.”

Maybe I’m looking too much into it or maybe not, but has anyone else noticed this? He Tian has his hands balled into fists and one of his hands is under his upper leg. Is he trying to keep his cool ? is he trying not to touch Guan Shan?He touched him with the water bottle just moments before.  Did he think that maybe he could feel guan shan’s skin through the water bottle? as if it were an extension of his arm (or something else *eyebrow wiggle* 🍆)

 He looks so proud in this panel and he’s been admiring guan shan. He’s probably really tense and wanted to physically act his feelings for guan shan so badly.The air feels a little tense and then Guan Shan make a little joke, they have a mini banter and everything changes. The atmosphere is less tense. Well, we know he tian acts on impulse and he couldn’t take it anymore and just exploded all over Guan Shan by grabbing him and fluffying out his hair once things went back to the usual between them –to what they are familiar with :)

4

was thinking about Mikitaka because of yesterday (sept 21)

🌎🌪🔥

Can’t Stand For This

Member: Yuta

Genre: fluff(ish), Stripper AU (not smutty)

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: Slightly mature themes, drinking, strippers, that lot

a/n: not requested

Originally posted by yutaf

A lonely night drinking away remnants of a past love at a dimly lit, suspiciously smelling club went as well as any night of that kind would.
You felt the slick burn of alcohol down your throat, grimacing slightly at the bitter taste of the cheap shot, but welcoming the feeling of your inhibitions slowly fading away as you drank again.
Sufficiently woozy, you stumbled slightly from your bar stool, making your way to the crowded dance floor to find some companionship for the next thirty minutes.
Swaying to the music, it didn’t take long for a pair of hands to brush against your hips, turning you to face a man with an enticing smile. You responded by lacing your hands behind his neck as you studied his features, too drunk and lonely to care he was a complete stranger. The dim light and drunken haze wasn’t doing you any favours in solidifying his face in your memory, but it was undeniable that he was gorgeous.
His smile was an invite to study in the perfect shape of his plush lips, a defined cupids bow that shot drunk love right into your heart, and you knew that despite the amount of alcohol you’d had - you would never forget that smile.
You let yourself fall into the moment, enjoying how the heat of the club and sweaty mass around you seemed to accelerate the effect of the alcohol in numbing your mind to the feelings of heartbreak and loneliness you so desperately wanted to forget. Closing your eyes, the thump of the music in your ears and breath next to your neck was all you needed to think about right now.
“So, you want to get somewhere a bit less crowded?” The man you’d been dancing with suggested.
“I’m good here.” You smiled back, opening your eyes to meet with the orbs focus on you intently.
“If you’re sure.” He shrugged, removing a hand from your hips. Your hands reached for his, taking them and slightly tugging him back to you.
“Stay a bit longer?” You asked, slightly slow from the drinks, but still smiling.
He smiled back, a full toothed grin showing how straight and well aligned his teeth were. The expression was contagious and you let out a drunken laugh, thinking how pretty he was.
“I have work anyway, maybe I’ll so you round.” He gave a small raise of his eyebrows as if laughing at your drunken pettiness, smirking again as you finally let go of his hands.
And that was where the first encounter ended.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

uh hi! you talked about trans adrien and i know you also hc him as ace so maybe could you talk about that??

of course!!

  • adrien wears his ring on his middle finger a la felix
  • it’s silver as a civilian but he knows that it turns black when he transforms and that’s really what matters
  • (aka he wears it like an ace ring)
  • the first time he realizes people have sex for fun he’s so confused because he hadn’t realized that people actually felt sexual attraction like…at all
  • has said “you can punshame me all you want but don’t kinkshame me, i don’t do kinks” on multiple occasions 
  • if he’s biromantic asexual it’s the awesome opportunity to say that he’s biromantic and byesexual 
  • adrien was already uncomfortable with the idea of sex being ace but the thought also gives him dysphoria so like no thanks
  • he’s out but he doesn’t necessarily talk about it a lot because it’s not really anyone’s business what he does/doesn’t do 
  • lowkey terrified for a while there that ladybug would never date him because of his asexuality alone
  • still was really nervous about it when him and marinette started dating until she assured him that she didn’t mind 
  • is like incredibly bad at setting boundaries but marinette sees right through him and always asks if he’s comfortable
  • some days adrien’s ok with kissing and other days all he really wants to do is hold hands
  • marinette is always down for handholding tho
  • really likes cuddling? a lot? 
  • i don’t even think that’s related here i just think adrien likes cuddling
  • probably owns a ‘why have sex when you can have cake’ shirt
  • probably owns so much pride stuff lbr
  • can you imagine how many ace puns/jokes the boy could make i MEAN

anonymous asked:

who do u think would make their crush blush like hell by telling really bad jokes? im sorry if this is a weird request lmao

DAICHI!

Daichi has a big stash of dad jokes in his pocket, and he has them ready for any situation.

“Daichi, I’m hungry!”

“Hi Hungry, I’M DAICHI AHAHAHAHAHA!”

~

“Hey Y/N, I have a joke about paper, but you probably don’t want to hear it since it’S TEARABLE!”

anonymous asked:

Hey Zoe since I can't send this thru message I guess I'll leave it here lol How is thr feeling of having a family? I don't have parents but I do have siblings.For what I know, our dad have abandon us when my eldest sister was in Year 9.She drop out from school and find a job and support the 2nd eldest to study.Back then, I'm only 5. I didin't go to school,but my sisiter teached me everything. For our mom,we all actually don't know where she is.Even my eldest sister can't give us the answer

Noww I’m 15,have a work just like Seven’s.I forget how I get this job but I worked since 10. Oh I btw I have 4 sisters(women gang lol)3 of my sisters went to colleges to finish their education and left 2 of us still at secondary high school. Once my teacher says'Who in the world don’t have parents?‘and its making me(theres people said im cold but)a bit sad Bad eng tho cuz eng isn’t my mother tounge lol im too noisy😂😂 ignore me zoe lol I’m sorry I shitt to much lol just answer it thanks😂

Oh no did I riuned your emotions just ignore me tho lol


What you ask here, it’s not how is the feeling, more like you want to know the definition of a family. Some think of it quite shallow, like you have father mother brother sister that make a family and I think your teacher falls into this category. To some, it’s a plain joke. To me, that’s a good joke, because honestly I don’t really that much into my family. I hate my brother, if he dies I probably won’t even attend the funeral and have a good laugh about that. I wish him nothing but painful death. 

Sounds like you have a family to me, you don’t feel the maternal love but you still have your siblings to back you up. That’s more than the world. You should know, that to many people, it’s better not to have parents around at all because those parents are nothing but assholes. Its better than to have parents that polluted your mind, killed your soul or else. Just my thought, but in your case I think you are happier without them, because if they chose to leave their children at first place, that’s it to them. 

Your sister can be considered as your mother and father, it took a great strength to nurture a human, something that even adults can’t understand fully, like me. Send my best wishes to her, for her sacrifice is enormous than ever. 

If you want to cry, just cry. Don’t send me those “lol”, it’s too forcing and that’s what ruined my mood, not your story. Just cry. 

Then stand tall and proud.

concerning labels

first and foremost, please do not come at me with “what the hell is this underage little punk who prob can’t even legally smoke weed (and screw you i am high on LIFE bitch) telling me what to do”, i don’t care if i am a literal child to you who has almost no life experience, this shit is important and is advice i have personally received and i want to share it with you so shut it

okay lets begin

personally I don’t really have a clear idea of who or what I’m attracted to 

i like boys

but maybe i like boys and girls

and maybe i like woks (sorry inside joke for @sokkagawea 💕) 

but the thing is at this age i have a) no time for a partner and b) no idea 

and that’s the thing about labels

im all for loving whomever the fuck you want

but sometimes you have to shut everything else out and listen 

this isn’t a choice you are going to make

it’s something you are going to discover about yourself 

sometimes you’ll have a feeling

and sometimes that feeling will change

maybe today you think you know what you are

but if in five years you truly know who you are then that’s the you you want to be

a sexuality is not a pair of jeans you try on because “you think” or “you like the way it sounds” its a part of you that you do not choose but discover

so that’s technically part of the whole fuck labels thing

love who you love but wait

wait to “label” yourself when you truly know yourself 

wait until the only voice you can hear in your head is your own

underage punk out bitch

How to be Emo Trash™

@bands-youtubers-ruined-my-life
Steps:
1. Cry everday
2. Wear lots of black eyeliner
3. Or dont who needs makeup
4. Passive aggressive hint you want to die
5. Laugh off any worries anyone has about you if they ask if youre okay
6. Three seconds later (its critical to be EXACTLY 3 SECONDS) whisper “i want death im ssooooo not okay”
7. Blast My Chemical Romance or twenty one pilots at all times
8. Make cringy jokes and say “oh im so sorry that was horrible I’ll just go jump off a bridge now bye” then laugh
9. Really its just making suicide references then laughing
10. And ignoring ppl when they ask if your okay
11. Every once and a while get super depressed then miss school for three days
12. Makes everyone worried
13. Laugh it off and say you did some great arts and crafts (at this point you can say “dont cry craft” but be prepaired for no one to get your joke)
14. CALL ME DADDY @ ALL TIMES
15. Was this a good tutorial?
16. Idk its what I do it works

“You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” - Christopher Robin

Hey Dan (danisnotonfire), I know you said you were joking and last night was just you ‘trying to be funny’ but, regardless, I wanted to make you something for you whenever you’re going through a crisis, wether it’s about life, existence, identity or creativity. Take it one step at a time, okay? Remember you can always talk and seek help from those you love/those who care about you. Wishing you happiness and contentment, always. x

guccifiipfiops  asked:

hi! i just saw your account and I'm kinda wondering. will you ever continue ninjastuck? like maybe say what clans some characters are in, going in depth with characters, or basic sketches of the akatsuki with dirk?

hi!! oh jeez omg im really happy youre interested in my au, but like 99% of AUs i make, i abandon them, so ninjastuck is unfortunately just another one of those where i made all the jokes i wanted to and i have nothing else to say about it! i tend to move onto new things rather quickly ahahah sorry about that!