im sorry but this will never not be funny to me

  • lance pointing to a trophy: what's that for
  • keith: oh i did trick riding when i was a kid
  • lance: trick ri- like what?
  • keith: like handstands and stuff, i guess.
  • lance: ...handstands. i've never seen you do a handstand in your life.
  • keith, shrugging: it's easier to do on a horse.
  • lance:
  • lance: who are you
AUs

Here are some aus, divided in different themes.

College themed

  1. I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat
  2. My roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor
  3. We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances
  4. You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay
  5. My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me
  6. It’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay
  7. I swear I’m wearing this Batman costume because of a dare
  8. Accidentally knocked on the wrong dorm room college au
  9. Heard a scream and thought you were getting killed but it was just a spider
  10. Somehow, we always end up sitting next to each other during the weekly gatherings to watch [Game of Thrones, SVU, Rupaul’s Drag Race, pick a show] in our dorm’s really good TV room 
  11. I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because i could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly

Awkward first meeting themed

  1. “This horrible umbrella won’t extend! Oh shit I just hit you in the stomach/crotch! I’m so sorry!”
  2. “I just tripped and fell face first into your crotch, god end my life now please.”
  3. “I drunkenly tried to fight you and knocked myself out but you were kind enough to take care of me till I woke up.”
  4. Trapped in a bank during a robbery 
  5. “I met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night”
  6. “Last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn’t either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us”
  7. “You found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life”
  8. ‘you thought i was someone else and started making out with me at a club and you’re really hot so i just went with it and now we’re heading back to your place and idk how to break it to you’
  9. ‘we’re two thirds of the threesome we had last night and we’re walking awkwardly out of the last persons’s apartment together’
  10. ‘i’ve had a really awful day so i started kicking a car out of frustration and it turned out to be your car i’m so sorry’
  11. “I ordered pizza but the pizzeria got my order wrong so now I’m screaming at my really cute pizza delivery boy because I’m angry and very hungry”

Nobility themed

  1. “your country’s trying to take over/annex my country and you’re making it difficult to hate you because you’re so nice and attractive stop it”
  2. “we’ve been engaged to be married since we were three but this is the first time we’ve met and your portraits really don’t do you justice”
  3. “i’m a prince/ss and you’re a servant and we’re not supposed to hang out but we’re gonna fall in love anyways”

Opposites attract themed

  1. a hopeless romantic and a single-but-proud meet at a store on valentine’s day. the latter is buying valentine cards ironically, the former buying them sincerely in hopes of getting a date
  2. a scary-looking person who unintentionally makes kids cry and a daycare volunteer meet at a children-filled park
  3. rebellious teenager who’s failing all their classes is assigned a studious tutor
  4. really distinguished food critic and fast food chef
  5. a hopeless romantic and a horny beast are set up on a blind date

High school themed

  1. “We’re the only ones in detention”
  2. “I desperately need my books but my locker is blocked and you’re the only one in the hall”
  3. “Someone wrote I’m cute in the bathroom stall and your notes match the handwriting”
  4. “I twisted my ankle and you’re the only one here strong enough to carry me to the nurse’s office but we’re both really awkward”
  5. “We were both left out when everyone was picking partners and now we always choose each other when we have classes together”
  6. “I lent you my cool pencil months ago and you still use it”
  7. “I accidentally took your notebook thinking it was mine and you have really nice handwriting and cute doodles”
  8. “You started sitting by me at lunch because I’m alone at my table but we never talk to each other”
  9. “I was really hungry but had no money and you bought me lunch even though I don’t know you”
  10. “I left my phone number on the bathroom stall wall and you text me about your day and your frustrations for a month & it’s really nice and cute but I still don’t know who you are”
  11. “I fell asleep on your couch after a party but you didn’t complain and made breakfast for the both of us”
  12. sharing a textbook and leaving each other notes and answers in page corners
  13. found their phone number in a library book
  14. dancing partners
  15. younger siblings are best friends
  16. playing romantic interests in a play
  17. “yes i understand that it’s may and this classroom is stuffy but why are you taking your shirt off and why aren’t you in trouble (not that i mind)”
  18. “i can’t believe you dropped the frog we’re dissecting on tHE FLOOR WHAT THE FUCK”
  19. “i’m fightin this person and they shoved me into u im sooo sorry- oh hey you’re cute- oH MY GOD UR KICKIN ASS MARRY ME!!! PLEASE!!!!”
  20. “you asked me to prom by filling my locker with ping pong balls that say “prom?” on them but i tripped on one and smacked my head on a locker but thanks for taking me to the nurse!!! i still want to go with you!!”

Ridicously sentence themed

  1. “I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“ 
  2. "Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!”
  3. “I hope you know that my name is actually ________.”
  4. “That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”
  5. “Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle" 
  6. “Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”
  7. “I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us.”
  8. “I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”
  9. “I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”

Height difference themed

  1. “I’m in a bookshop and I really need that book can you get it for me??? Wait you’ve read that book? let’s have an in depth conversation about it.”
  2. “You were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help”
  3. “We’re both baristas and sometimes I have trouble reaching for things and I show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU but also thanks”
  4. “You are very tall and I am very short so you run into me all the time and honestly this is getting ridiculous”
  5. I’m in art class and I just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said “shh i’m hiding”
  6. “We’re on the bus and I’m really not trying to take up your space I’m sorry I just have rlly rlly long legs” 
  7. “You’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious” 

Reincarnation themed

  1. I fell in love with you three lifetimes ago and I’ve been looking for you ever since but I’ve been starting to give up and my friend’s new crush has your eyes and oh god I’m not going to steal someone’s date just because I’m hoping you’re the person I met in a past life
  2. We keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it’s kind of pissing me off because I can never initially confirm if it’s you but at least I keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime

Mythical creatures themed

  1. “i’m a newly-turned werewolf without a pack and i can’t really control myself well on full moon nights yet and you keep finding me passed out naked on your lawn”
  2. “i got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and ended up getting adopted by someone who is really hot OH NO”
  3. “i’m a history major and i keep getting into arguments with one of my classmates about things because they keep saying i’m wrong so i finally scream, ‘how would you know?!?’ and they’re like, ‘because i was THERE!’ and that’s how we all find out that there is a centuries-old vampire taking our British history class”

Funny meeting at a party themed

  1. “i was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me”
  2. “spilled my drink down your shirt and then tried to drink it off you”
  3. “we had an impromptu rap duet in the middle of the party”
  4. “you kept asking everyone to play the cha cha slide then proceeded to pass out when the song started”
  5. “you keep shouting “THIS IS MY JAM” at every song that comes on i have a headache the size of nebraska you’re lucky you’re cute”
  6. “whenever you saw me you’d shout ‘WHOOOOOOOOO’ really loudly and then do finger guns at me before walking off to god knows where”
  7. “you thought I was your friend and pulled me up on the table to dance with you now you’re shirtless and grinding on me”
  8. “you got up to the mic and started singing and holy shit you’re really good???”
  9. “you’re really bad at beer pong but you do this really cute dance before you throw the ball so I’m letting you stay on my team”
  10. “our mutual friend dared the two of us to chug a whole pint of beer and I’m not going to let you beat me”
  11. “we both grabbed for the last bottle of the good beer and i’m not saying we’re going to fight for it but we are”

Competitive themed

  1. we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust
  2. I used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and I’m going all out for the next event
  3. a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me
  4. you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um
  5. we’re always making stupid bets like 'bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you
  6. did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

“We’re bad at dating” themed

  1. I can’t tell whether this is a date because you asked to see a movie but I’m still not sure you’re queer, and I’m toeing the line because maybe you’re just trying to make friends
  2. I decided to flip a coin about every decision in my life for a week and that’s how we ended up on a date
  3. We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up
  4. We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date
  5. We’re going on a blind date - but wait a moment, aren’t you that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?
  6. You’re my waiter and I’m on a really crappy date with an asshole
Wait wait wait, did you just make a joke?

•I am in love with the idea of Keith making jokes so only hunk can really hear
•and they are GOOD
•Hunk has laughed so hard hes cryed over some of them
•one time Keith’s joke got him so good that he skipped the laughter and went straight to crying
•but Keith is sneaky
•and no one EVER hears him exept Hunk
•Hunk is loosing it™
•cause
•I SWEAR GUYS KEITH IS FUNNY HE MAKES JOKES I SWEAR LANCE YOU BELIEVE ME RIGHT
•LANCE!
•LANCE?
•im sorry buddy but ??? Keith has literally never???
•Hunk looking at Keith
•hes so smug
•Hunk making the “im watching you” gesture
• Keith taking it as a CHALLENGE
•a challenge to get sneakeyer and funnier
•when they are heading to their lion
•right before they enter a room with everyone else
•as hunk is taking a sip of space juice so he does a spit take all over lance and pidge
•at the table when Keith walks behind hunks chair
•Keith is brutal with his jokes tbh
•they are always relevant to something going on
•"Are we sure Galra Keith isn’t evil??? I think he’s tring to make me laugh to death! Is that possible?“
•Keith is so happy to have a thing™ with Hunk
•he feels so proud of himself whenever Hunk laughs
•he did that he made him happy
•Keith would do anything to make that laugh and that smile stick around
•and he finds that making jokes like this is a great stress relief for both of them so thats a plus
•keith dosnt know when he started to automatically seak out Hunk when entering a room
•Hunk doesnt know when he started keeping a constant eye out for Keith
•really tho if you see one of them you probably see the other too and they are probably most definitely both trying to stifle a laughing fit

Send Nude Pics of Your Heart to Me

James Potter to Mrs. Wife: lily can we have another baby?

Lily Potter to Wears Socks to Bed: R u going to text me that every time Harry does something cute?

James Potter: yes

Lily Potter: U know if we got one every time u asked we’d have like 35 babies by now??

James Potter: i’d be okay with that

James Potter: they might give us our own tv programme

James Potter: lil and jim and their kin 

Lily Potter: Ur right what’s the point of having children if not to pimp them out for reality television

Keep reading

kicking you out

for the anon who asked for a groupchat celebrity au with twitter. ik this isn’t exactly what you asked for, but i will do a proper celebrity au one day. probably. dedicated to my wife @jiilys bc she deserves all this and more


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: thanks for tuning in last night! check us out next week when we’ll be discussing whether sand dollars should be a viable form of currency

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: james no one cares about ur stupid fuckign radio show

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: ur the co-host

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: i dont see how thats a relevant piece of information


Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) tweeted: @jimsradio why do you have pine trees listed as your topic for next week

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: why not

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: theyr an important part of our capitalist, consumer-driven society

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: is this just because you couldn’t come up with a better topic

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: r u insinuating that i had no ideas and decided on pine trees bc there happens to be one outside peters bedroom window

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: yes

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: fair


James Potter to radioheads: how about we have remus as our special guest next week

Sirius Black: i have legitimately never heard of a worse idea

Remus Lupin: good luck driving yourself to the lido next week then dickhead

Sirius Black: i already lost that job

Remus Lupin: why am i not surprised

Sirius Black: jokes on u lupin, ur the one who’s been driving me 40 minutes out of your way every morning for nothing

Remus Lupin: fucker


Remus Lupin to James Potter: we need more advertising

James Potter: ?? we have plenty of advertising

Remus Lupin: we have the same ad for your dad’s hair gel playing every break on a ten minute loop

James Potter: ?? what’s ur point


Peter Pettigrew to james you know i love monty but we need more advertising: guys 2, 141 people listened in last week

Remus Lupin: are you kidding

James Potter: result!!!!

Sirius Black: was that the one where we talked about freaks & geeks conspiracy theories

Remus Lupin: no that was the one where you talked about crunchy chips vs squishies

Remus Lupin: do you even listen to the show

Sirius Black: im the co-host thank you very much

Remus Lupin: could’ve fooled me

Sirius Black has removed Remus Lupin from the chat.


Sirius Black (@blacksheep) tweeted: @petepettigrew i still cant believe u prefer squishies to crunchies

Peter Pettigrew (@petepettigrew) retweeted: what?? theyr more flavoursome


James Potter to Sirius Black: remus has been our special guest for the past five episodes i think we need someone new

Sirius Black: what about pete

James Potter: pete does sound

Sirius Black: then get someone else to do sound

James Potter: u, my friend, are a genius


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: we need someone with tech experience to do our sound booth pls and thank


Peter Pettigrew to fifa plays would make a shitty topic: I thought I was sound technician??

James Potter: u can still be sound technician we’re just having u as our special guest

Sirius Black: im not sure i can handle having a special guest who thinks squishies r better than crunchies

James Potter: ??? u were the one who suggested pete in the first place

Sirius Black: i was?? funny that

Peter Pettigrew: i hate u all


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @jimsradio i have two years worth of tech experience and can do friday evenings if ur still looking for a sound technician


James Potter to shitdick central™: holy shit check out the chick who just applied for techie

Peter Pettigrew: who is she

Remus Lupin: lily evans

Remus Lupin: she had her own radio show a couple of years back with this really awful guy

Remus Lupin: it was really popular

Peter Pettigrew: the radio show or the guy

Remus Lupin: ?? the radio show

Remus Lupin: the guy turned out to be a massive racist

Remus Lupin: in her last interview she called him ‘an abusive fuckface’

Sirius Black: i say we hire her

James Potter: seconded


Remus Lupin to James Potter: is the only reason you want to hire her is because you think she’s hot

James Potter: do you really think i’m that shallow

Remus Lupin: yes


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: @liljane you’re hired. i’ll dm you the details


Sirius Black to i’m not shallow remus i just have an appreciation for the finer things in life: i cant believe that you both literally and figuratively slid into her dm’s

James Potter: im blocking u


James Potter to what the fuck is an aardvark anyway: that went rather well if you ask me

Sirius Black: ?? it was a fucking atrocity

Sirius Black: you were staring at her the whole time

James Potter: no i wasn’t

Remus Lupin: you missed five of your queues

James Potter: ok, so maybe i was a little off

Sirius Black: there were more awkward silences than that one time peter tried to pick up rosmerta at the three broomsticks

Peter Pettigrew: you promised you wouldn’t bring that up again!!

Sirius Black: sry pete, desperate times call for desperate measures


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: make sure to check us out at our new time of 7:00pm fridays!!

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: you do realise no-one actually watches this show

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: he’s right you know

James Potter (@jimsradio) retweeted: i hate both of u


Lily Evans to James Potter: can u stop making jokes about lamps

James Potter: i don’t know what u filamean


Peter Pettigrew to wes anderson is better than quentin taratino and you know it james: ALMOST 10K PEOPLE LISTENED IN LAST NIGHT

James Potter: HOLY SHIT

Lily Evans: james u owe me $50 and your 1st edition copy of the great gatsby

James Potter: i’d rather die

Lily Evans: then die, jim

Remus Lupin: christ

Sirius Black: u called??

Peter Pettigrew: what even is this group chat


James Potter to Lily Evans: was that u tearing up i saw in the sound booth when i was reading out my piece about foreshadowing in the simpsons

Lily Evans: i was tearing up over how bad it was

Lily Evans: there was something in my eye

Lily Evans: i think it was your complete lack of a writing style

James Potter: stop it


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: petition to kick sirius out of the group chat bc he won’t stop talking about scooby doo conspiracy theories at 3am

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: i can scooby do what i want

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: blocked


James Potter to Sirius Black: WHERE ARE YOU WE’RE ON IN 5

James Potter: sirs

James Potter: where r you

Sirius Black: ran in tp regulus at the cineplex

James Potter: where are you now

Sirius Black: field next to cneplex

James Potter: don’t move


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: sorry that there was no show this week folks!! sirius got mauled by a bear and i had to drive up to toronto to help amputate his right arm

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: @jimsradio who’s going to wank you off now

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: @remuslupout bitch im left-handed


Sirius Black to velma, daphne and fred: i’m sure evans would do it for you james

Lily Evans: you want to lose the other arm black


Peter Pettigrew to cry me a river lupin: maybe we should make our group chats accessible to the public to get more hits

James Potter: i would but no one wants to see screenshots of sirius in a bra

Sirius Black: by no-one do you mean everyone


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: thank you guys so much for 20k hits the other night!! more content coming


Sirius Black to bitches bitchin: GRAHAM NORTON TONIGHT BITCHES

Lily Evans: are you sober

Sirius Black: am i ever sober

Lily Evans: good point


James Potter to sirius stop changing the group chat name while graham is in the middle of asking you questions: i think that went well

Lily Evans: james im leaving you for graham norton

Sirius Black: not if i leave him first


Severus Snape (@halfbloodprince) tweeted: @jimsradio feel like keeping your hands off my co-host you wanker??


James Potter to i haven’t been able to listen to eyes on fire by blue foundation since they played it over bella and ryan’s scene in eyewitness: how are we gonna handle this

James Potter: my vote is firmly rooted in manslaughter

Lily Evans: leave it to me

Lily Evans: but keep manslaughter as a backup


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @halfbloodprince i wonder what it’d be like to not be so ridiculously self-involved as to impose yourself where you’re strictly not wanted?

Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: @halfbloodprince stay out of my life or you’ll be receiving numerous calls from my lawyer


Lily Evans to manslaughter: yes or no: its sorted

Sirius Black: you don’t even have a lawyer

Lily Evans: he doesn’t know that


James Potter to Lily Evans: whats a rlly interesting and extensive subject we could cover this week

Lily Evans: milk

James Potter: excellent


Lily Evans to tangled is so much better than frozen: im at the studio and i have liquor

Sirius Black: be there in 5

Peter Pettigrew: can u pick me up

Sirius Black: McNo™

Remus Lupin: i regret the day i gave u that keyboard shortcut

Sirius Black: i dont


James Potter to Lily Evans: r u ok

Lily Evans: fine just sistet stuff

James Potter: u sound trashed

Lily Evans: thsts bc i Am

James Potter: where r u

Lily Evans: blcony

Lily Evans: jim

Lily Evans: can u tak e me hpme

Lily Evans: jaems

Lily Evans: i love you


Lily Evans to James Potter: what did i say last night

James Potter: nothing its fine

James Potter: don’t worry about it

Lily Evans: i am worried about it

James Potter: don’t be

James Potter: see you at work


Remus Lupin to James Potter: whats goin on between u two

James Potter: ???

Remus Lupin: you know what i mean

Remus Lupin: you keep looking at her and looking away

Remus Lupin: she keeps forgetting to give you your queues

James Potter: probably distracted by that hickey on your neck

Remus Lupin: i TOLD you i FELL OVER


Lily Evans (@liljane) tweeted: thank you guys so much for 100k! i’ve made @jimsradio promise to change his username if we make it to 1mil in the next two months

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: he should change it to @wanker

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: i checked its already taken by @halfbloodprince


Sirius Black to james potter and co: can you and evans stop eye-fucking during the sets

James Potter changed the chat name to i dont know what you’re talking about.

Sirius Black changed the chat name to yes u do.

James Potter changed the chat name to do not.

Sirius Black changed the chat name to do too.

James Potter changed the chat name to do not.

Remus Lupin: you guys know she’s getting all of these right

James Potter: shit


Lily Evans to James Potter: u have something u want to tell me

James Potter: i’d rather do it in person,,,,,if thats ok

Lily Evans: only if we announce our engagement during a set

James Potter: deal


James Potter (@jimsradio) tweeted: we hit 1mil! also @liljane and i are fucking

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: about time

Sirius Black (@blacksheep) retweeted: you don’t say

Remus Lupin (@remuslupout) retweeted: i do say

Peter Pettigrew (@petepettigrew) retweeted: im blocking both of u

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: r u gonna hold up your end of the bargain @jimsradio

James Potter changed his username to @lilandjimsradio.

Lily Evans (@liljane) retweeted: nice

been reading a lot of klance fics lately so i thought i’d share it w you guys!! here’s 14 of them and definitely my favorites. comes with the title (duh), description, a review by yours truly, and link to the fic. the writers of said fics also have some gorg other masterpieces so be sure to check those out!

1. ) Smile for the Stars by maIikcutie

description

Though he’s been dealt many bad cards, Lance isn’t sure he can handle this one: winding up stranded, a million lightyears away from home, with only Keith to keep him company.
The universe is cruel.

review

amazing a+++ fic but i strongly advise not to read this unless you are willing to live the rest of your life broken hearted and Sad. i promise ur heart will be wrecked but in the best way possible!!! a buncha artists on tumblr made art for this so be sure to check those out & also there’s a epilogue-ish thing for this that dulls the pain a lil less and its called The Stars Smile Back in case yall were interested

2. ) Dirty Laundry by Gibslythe

description:

“Two whole months of free laundry in exchange for two weeks of being my fake boyfriend. Deal?”
Keith hesitated for a moment. Was this really worth it? Hardly. Lance was an asshole, and he wasn’t sure what fake dating would entail. But, free laundry was free laundry, right?
“Alright, it’s a deal.”
Or: Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be Lance’s ‘fake boyfriend’.

review:

if u love slow burn then BOY ur gonna love this !!!! mama lance is so warm i luv her !!! fake dating aka one of my fav tropes so 11/10 and i just rly love this ok im in tears

3. ) call me, beep me by safra

description:

(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose?
(00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake?
(00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it?
(00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy…
(00:33) Cause, you know, her threes couldvery easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones?
(00:45) What
(00:46) The
(00:46) Fuck??
(00:47) Oh good, you are awake!
where lance messages the wrong number and things kind of snowball from there

review:

i love through-chat fics therefore i am so in love with this!!!!!! your everyday "wrong number” trope but so so so much better!!! cute and happy

4. ) Seasons by fairietailed

description: 

“Do you think we’ll be together, still, by the time we make it home?”
Lance is quiet for a moment, thinking. Then he says, “That depends. Do you plan on going somewhere?”
Keith laughs, threading his fingers through Lance’s hair.
“No, I suppose I don’t.”

review:

their relationship is just SO PURE AND SOFT and so well written i’m in luuuv but the open ending will shatter and will most likely rip u apart

5. )  Don’t Break Connection, Baby by princedeadend

description:

Keith works part-time as a phone sex operator and receives a prank call from Lance. This does not go as planned for Lance. Thus begins the adventure of our dear sweet idiot continuing to call Keith to fuck with him (but not like fuck fuck with him…at least not yet). And y'know, eventually having legit conversations with him and getting attached and growing on Keith.
aka the phone sex operator fic no one asked for

review:

this is soooooooooo cute and adorable and wow i luv ittttt!!! made me smile so hard it hurts

6. ) He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus

description:

In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed…and so are the true monsters.

review:

oh my god the buildup may be slow but i promise it’s worth it like everything just falls perfectly into place !!! and its so adorable and creative and just wow not ur usual klance fanfic and that just makes it 1000x better and also,,, dragons !!

7. ) Bonding Time by magisterpavus

description:

“Shiro, I fucked up,” Keith blurted, wringing his hands.
Shiro paused mid-punch, shooting him a quizzical look. “What? What happened?”
“I think,” Keith whispered, “I think I accidentally roofied Lance. With my dick.”

review:

galra keith will always and forever be my fav au so this is a definite fav for me !!! i love the other 3 sequels it comes w too!! and nsfw content too dont even lie ik u guys are thirsty for that

8 .) Just Static by Jessadilla

description:

–Static—-
-iro, Hunk, Kei—, nybody? I’m—-
-static–
–I’m sorry guys. This is all my–
–static–cc–
—I found my coordinates. They’re–
-stttcc-
-guys. I hear something—
–scccc-
-end transmission-
Alone on a hostile planet, transmissions aren’t getting through. How did it come to this?

review:

this fic got me sad and crying in the middle of the night )’: wont leave u too sad tho the ending is pretty nice

9. ) What a Healing Pod Can’t Repair by Remember_Me

description:

The compromised wormhole was ripping apart at the seams, sending everyone spiraling away in completely different directions. Lance could feel himself being pulled and bent in ways he was definitely not supposed to be.

Stitching the team back together after everyone is separated is difficult, and for one Paladin rescue wouldn’t be coming for a very long time.

review:

no words. literally no words. this was so painful and just wow the buildup will shatter u i swear )’: also poor bb lance i sob. comes with cool-looking art which makes it a whole lot better

10. ) Seen: 5:29 by SpeedOfSins

description:

AU where Keith is some important guy who has a business suit, and lance is a good housewife. (tha ts a lie, i honestly dont have a summary but this fic hurts, i have been told by at least 3 people)
Written in text format

review:

will wreck u, beware!! may be short but enough to bring u to tears honestly

11. ) On Thin Ice by Minadora

description:

Once upon a time, two Canadian nerds decided to start a figure skating au about their two space sons and their wonderful misfit friends. Ten pages of headcanons later we finally put electronic pen to electronic paper and created this monstrosity. This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to “work on his footwork”. There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater.
Enjoy the ride because it’s only just started.

review:

the description says it all !!!!! a fic beloved by the vld fandom and gosh whats not to love honestly???? also the whole gang is so happy !!! (sidenote: this is unfinished and its killing me)

12. ) I bet you look good on the dancefloor by xShieru

description:

“So like in 'Step Up’?” Allura shrugs. “Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it’s just like in 'Step Up’.” The smile that she sends Shiro’s way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance still doesn’t believe in dance camps.
-
Lance McClain’s dancing career begins and ends with Keith.
Keith just wants to find out what Lance’s deal is.

review:

if u love step up ur gonna LOVE this !!!! i love it so so so so much can i just say and wow keith is so hot ffs

13. ) thunderstruck by xShieru

description:

Lance doesn’t pine for anyone ever, Keith’s never been to a dance, Hunk tries his best to be supportive, Shiro is very done, and Pidge steals a car.But hey, it could’ve been worse.

review:

space prom!!!!!!! and cute pining gays!! whats not to love about that?

14. ) In English, Please

description:

Lance thinks he can get away with flirting with Keith if it’s in Spanish. Lance thinks if he says the words angrily enough no one will catch on to the ruse. Lance thinks his secret crush is safe. Lance, my friends, is very…very wrong.

review:

two words - too. cute. i can’t even with this fic

anonymous asked:

what do u think would happen if jeremy walked into the bathroom while michael was crying (like during the party)

OK SO i asked em ( aka @gayradwhitedad ) to help me with this ask and they came up with some really good headcanons ( like wtf they’re the best ) and i drew some of them so!!! the drawings are here and the headcanons are under the cut ( PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING, IT’S SO GOOD )

Keep reading

Mute pt. 1

“What you do has no point.”
Lance just bites his lip to stop the tears from being released.
“I’m sorry.”
“What do you want me to say?” Keith growls.
He’s shaking and when he opens his mouth, nothing comes out.
“You know what? If you having nothing to say the you should keep your mouth shut.
Lance isn’t sure how much longer he can ignore the hateful words. He knows it’s not at him. Everyone’s has been on edge since Shiro’s disappearance, but he’s pretty sure that Keith has been directing all his anger at him.

At first Lance tried to be funny, keep his usual persona going…somebody had to keep the team normalcy going.
Sure it hurt a little, but Lance pretended it was part of his training regimen. Sometimes you have to take a few hits and it hurts. Keith’s hit were just verbal, and like training, sometimes the hits hurt, but the pain would go away…right?

“Keith… I know your mad cause this trail was another dead end…”
“Shut the Fuck up.”
“We’re going to find Shiro, it’s okay that…
"Shut the Fuck up.”
“Keith if you would just listen..!”
There is a red rage in Keith’s eyes.
“I said Shut the Fuck up! You know what? Do whatever the Fuck you want, you can do whatever the fuck you want.”
“Keith, hear me out…”

He was returned with silence.

It didn’t make any sense, and Lance knew he was just angry, but the silence hurt more than the words.

“Keith, please listen to me. Tell me you can hear me.”

The silence definitely hurt more than the words.

The worst part about this mission, there was no Hunk or Coran to lightened the blow. They had both been so positive that they found where Shiro was held captive that they were going to do this on their own, which made Keith that much more angry.

Keeping his distance, Lance and blue followed Keith and red back to the castle.
The others were waiting expectantly but when Keith threw his helmet to the ground and stormed past the other Paladins, it didn’t take them long to look at Lance for some answers.

“Dude, You Okay? Were you crying?”
Lance blinks away the tears he didn’t even know he was shedding.

“Yeah! Im…”

“Shut the fuck up.”

He pauses when he remember Keith yelling at him earlier. He’s never felt like he needed to lie to Hunk, but the verbal abuse he had dealt with earlier lingered in Lance’s head.

“Lance, what happened?” Hunk asked again after Lance went silent mid sentence.

“We’re okay, Um… no Shiro. Sorry.”
“Dude, it’s okay I’m just glad your both safe.”

“Shut the fuck up…. Keep your mouth shut.”

Lance doesn’t say anything this time, just nods his head.

random bios➳

Like the post and/or give credit to nddobrev on twitter.
De like no post e/ou de créditos para nddobrev no twitter. 

inglês/english 
  1. talents: sleeping 

  2. i didn’t choose the boob life, the boob life chose me.

  3. this semester isn’t done but i sure am 

  4. never tell a fangirl to calm down. it won’t work 

  5. i dont know whats emptier, my bank account or my love life 

  6. if you eat enough pizza it tastes like love 

  7. im 900% ready for summer vacation 

  8. please don’t waste good pizza on bad people 

  9. i just want to sleep forever because dealing with people is annoying as hell 

  10. 2010 me would literally be terrified of 2015 me and I love it 

  11. why be moody when u can shake dat booty am i right ladies 

  12. quick tip: fuck off 

  13. i wish i had dora’s parents they let that bitch go everywhere 

  14. never trust anyone who can bite an ice cream without flinching that shit’s not natural 

  15. i wish I had a pair of skinny genes 

  16. still not exactly sure what studying is 

  17. when I die, I want my grave to have free wifi so people will come visit more often 

  18. “don’t be sad” ok im better now thank u 

  19. my parents don’t realize that i am perfectly happy avoiding humanity 

  20. why are u such a little bitch 

  21. why is every girl my age 1000% prettier than me 

  22. love me back 

  23. everyone is stupid except me

  24. stu(dying) 

  25. if im weird around u that means im comfortable around u 

  26. ur a lil bitch 

  27. im always hungry 

  28. dont be a dick 

  29. i want to sleep for like 30 hours 

  30. i have too many shows to watch maybe i should drop out of school 

  31. i got 99 problems but I’m gonna take a nap and ignore them all 

  32. I’m so cute why am I not dating anyone 

  33. baby girl please don’t trust these fuckboys 

  34. wear black and be gold.

  35. you can tell a lot by listening to a girl’s favorite song 

  36. who needs april’s fools when ur life is a joke 

  37. sorry mom, i only have a virtual life

  38. sarcasm is my only defense 

  39. I think I might actually be dead

  40. i dont argue, i explain why im right 

  41. 50 shades of tired 

  42. just imagine how great life would be if pizza made u skinny 

  43. i say idk a lot but trust me i be knowing

  44. can u lose weight by running away from ur feelings 

  45. dropping out of school to become a princess

  46. apparently, when you treat people the same way they treat you they get offended 

  47. me and my mom gossip about u 

  48. 420% good vibes
português/portuguese
  1. miga não força

  2. sou meio vagabunda mas sou uma boa pessoa 

  3. prefiro morrer do que perder a vida

  4. meça suas intimidades parça

  5. sua mãe pode até te amar mas eu não

  6. miga deixa jesus fazer a obra na tua vida

  7. o twitter pergunta o que ta acontecendo eu começo chora 

  8. isso fofa come mais chocolate continua comendo vai explode logo

  9. seu cu agr é meu

  10. quero voltar pro útero da minha mãe

  11. (✿◠‿◠) minha cara de quem se importa

  12. olha só onde estou parece q o jogo mudou n é msm

  13. vc está louca querida 

  14. vai com calma viado a senhora tem um cu só

  15. olhando pro nada pensando deus me mata 

  16. toma aqui as vírgulas que eu não faço questão de usar ,,,,,,,, 

  17. vc já caga pelo cu não precisa cagar pela boca

  18. miga seje menas otaria 

  19. vc que me seguiu fofa agr aguenta

  20. meu sonho eh ser uma diva pop 

  21. vc atingiu 100% do seu limite diário de ser otaria

  22. sєjє мєησs ρυтα 

  23. a solidão me fez fã de series 

  24. 420% paz e amor

  25. lembre-se que: não sou obrigada a te seguir de volta

  26. bebendo as lagrimas das inimigas 

(◕‿◕✿) (✿◠‿◠)  *∘✧* ღ ♥ ♡ ❤ ❥ △ ∞ ☆ ★ ✖ 。®™✤ ❝❞✥ ✦ ✧ ✩ ✫ ✬ ✭ ✮ ✯ ✰ ✱ ✲ ✳ ❃ ❂ ❁ ❀ ✿ ✾ ✽ ✼ ✻ ✺ ✹ ✸ ✷ ₪ ❃ ❂ ❁ ❀ ✿ ✾ ✽ ✼ ✻ ✺ ✹ ✸ ✷ ☢ ✌ ♔ ∆ ∇ ☾ ☽ ♡  ☼  ☁ ▲ ▼ (◡‿◡✿)  ☩ ☨ ☦ ✞ ✛ ✜ ✝  ✄ † ✞ ✝ ⇦ ⇧ ⇨ ⇩ ← ↑ → ↓ ➳  ➴ ➵ ➶ ➷ ➸ ➹ ☯ ♠ Ω ♤ ♣ ♧ ♥ ♡ ♦ ♢ ➀ ➁ ➂ ➃ ➄ ➅ ➆ ➇ ➈ ➉ ➊ ➋ ➌ ➍ ➎ ➏ ➐ ➑ ➒ ➓ ⊱✿◕‿◕✿⊰ ◑△◐ ◑▽◐ ☂ 《》 ▶◀ ℃ ℉

(As always, you can find all my fic recs in my FIC REC MASTERPOST) 

- The Edge of the Stars  , by @casuallyhl : Louis laughed. “You think you can convince some random guy to want to go out with me?”“Oh baby,” Jay chuckled. “I can convince all of the UK to want to go out with you.” Or, a Meet the Parents AU where Harry is the man of Louis’ dreams, and it’s up to Jay to convince him to date her son.

Larry TV Reality show AU (16k) : awesome fic for cheer you up when you’re sad, and perfect way to show how Louis and Jay relationship was amazing and beautiful. Cute and funny and fluffy :) No smut.

- just the sound of your voice  , by @a-writerwrites : It’s just. Harry’s so fucking quiet during sex and now Louis’ obsession with it is…it’s incessant.  Louis questions it day and night, the enigma of it buzzing around his head like an annoying mosquito — all of the reasons why he’s so quiet consuming every one of his waking thoughts.  Like, maybe he turns into an alien during sex if he’s not really careful?  So he has to concentrate so hard on not turning into another creature he’s effectively struck mute from it.  Or maybe…maybe he’s like one of those people who’s into tantric sex, like Sting or a throwback from the 1960s?  And when he’s about to orgasm he travels to another plane of existence or something.  There has to be a reason for it.  There has to be.

Larry smut fic (6.4k) : not saying I’m very proud that Lisa wrote something about my prompt, BUT IM VERY PROUD AND I LOOOOOVE IT VERY MUCH. So it’s all about dirty talk and a bit of rough sex, and yes, they kins of share that really.

- Love Is on The Radio , by @perfectdagger  and star_l:  “So Louis, who’s the lucky person that will not only get to see Arsenal and Manchester United facing each other, but will also possibly become your girlfriend… or boyfriend? I mean, that’s a good catch, to ask someone out like this on the radio. It will be hard to say no after this.”  “It’s, hm, his name is…” Oh boy, Harry was about to pass out, he couldn’t bear to hear what Louis would say. Susie was looking at him, worried eyes watching him from the till as she noticed that Harry had simply abandoned his cupcake duties. “Harry. Harry Styles.” To win a pair of tickets to watch Manchester United playing, Louis may have possibly lied to Nick Grimshaw on the BBC Radio 1 Breakfast Show, asking Harry, his best friend, to be his boyfriend. Problem is - Harry has always been in love with Louis and so, this Valentine’s he’s gonna see his dreams come true, with a tiny bit of a twist, in order to watch the football team they have loved together since they were kids.

Larry BFF to lovers and Fake Relationship AU (35k) : with a lot of social medias interactions, and Grimmy being cute ! Bottom Harry for the smut.

- Mercedes Boy , by @fullonlarrie : There’s a surprise waiting at home for Louis after he finishes his day on the tracks at the Mercedes AMG Driving Experience.

Larry canon smut (5k) : I mean : PANTIES AND CAR SEX. That’s all. (bottom Harry)

- Them Butterflies  , by @gaycousinlarry  : To sum it all up - Louis is beautiful. Breathtakingly so. And Harry can’t find it in himself to even question the fact that he thinks so. Louis is mesmerising, nearly magnetic with all the energy bouncing off of him. Harry doesn’t know what to make of it, but he knows he doesn’t want this night to end.  This is the extraordinarily ordinary AU where Harry falls in love for the first time and Louis learns how to fall in love all over again.

Larry strangers to Lovers and sexuality crisis AU (68k) : beautiful and really well written, barely angsty . Special kudos for social worker Harry just because. Great smut !  (mostly bottom Louis but they kind of share that)

- They Never Quite Leave   , by @icanhazzalou (sorry it doesn’t let me tag you properly!)  : When Liam Payne inherited his great aunt’s mansion, he never expected it to be haunted. With the help of famous ghost hunters Harry and Niall, Liam is hoping to evict the ghost and sell the house once and for all.There’s just one problem: Louis has been in that house for a hundred years, and he doesn’t much feel like leaving.Alternatively; come for the ghost sex, stay for the feels.

Larry Ghost AU (24k) : awesome , a bit angsty and also fluffy and cute, with a bit of Ghost sex (this is a thing, yes). :)

- Let’s Go Get Away , by @letsjustsee : When Louis had moved to the island a year ago, he only wanted two things: to serve good food to good people, and to live on the beach. Was that too much to ask for? Apparently the universe thought so, because Louis had only gotten three months of blissful, uninterrupted beach living before Harry Styles moved in to the empty shop next door. Louis was hoping whoever took over the space might be a tour guide, or even another restaurant (with non-competing menu options, of course), but no – he had gotten Harry Styles. The guy who wore Hawaiian dad-shirts unironically. The guy who spent his time making soap by hand out of goat’s milk.Or, a fluffy AU in which Louis owns a restaurant that’s next door to Harry’s shop, and Louis is completely unaware how smitten he really is.

Larry Hate to love AU (7k) : funny and cute, with so much fluff and kind of pining ;) No smut.

- Runner on Third , by @flamboyantommo: As Harry stood there, the other man turned around, and he knew he was correct in who he thought it was. “Louis?” he asked, still not quite believing it. Louis blinked. “Harry? Wh– what are you doing here?” “I work here,” Harry said. “What are you doing here?” “Um, I’m picking up my brother. The nurse called and said he was sick.” Harry felt like he was going to be sick. “Wait, Ernest is your brother? Since when do you have a brother?” “Since about seven years ago, I guess. Wait, how do you know Ernest?” “I’m his teacher.” “You’re his what?” Louis exclaimed. Harry gulped. This was going to be a long year. — Or, the AU where Louis and Harry were best friends growing up, but lost touch after Harry moved away. Ten years later, Harry has moved back to town, but he and Louis don’t pick up where they left off.

Larry Ex Friends to Lovers AU (35k) : nice fic with Teacher Harry, a “long time no see” plot, and so much pining ^^ Great Smut too ! (bottom Louis)

CROSSOVER AU

okay so @all-you-see-is-nightmare-eyes and i have been talking about an au where connor, evan, jeremy and michael met and it got shippy. very detailed /cries/ headcannons below.

- The main reason the four of them met was because they found each other at the orchard. Evan and Connor were on a date, they had a picnic ready and everything, and Michael wanted to explore the place so Jeremy was forced to come with him.

- Michael had tripped on one of the paths and fell off of it, down the slight slope they were on, right in front of Connor and Evan. Evan nearly had a heart attack when it happened, and when Jeremy came running down, he nearly had one all over again. Connor was just confused.

- Well, after Jeremy made sure Michael was okay, the four of them talked a little. And, with the awkward introductions thrown aside, they immediately hit it off. Evan and Connor thought the two of them were cool and full of funny stories, and Jeremy and Michael thought that they were pretty chill and nice.

- Somehow, an hour had passed and the boyf riends had somehow edged their way into the tree bros date - and they didn’t mind at all.

- Eventually, Connor and Evan decided that they had to go and gathered their things with the help of Jeremy and Michael. Jeremy kept apologising for barging in on their date, so much so that Evan of all people had to calm him down.

- They walked to their seperate cars, but before any of them could get in and drive away, Connor ran over and asked for their numbers. The boyf riends gave him their numbers, and he texted both of them Evan’s number. After that, they all left.

- And just like that, a group chat was made and they were all texting day and night.

- Turns out Michael and Jeremy lived the next town over - an hour away from Evan and Connor.

- Evan and Connor visited one time during the weekend, expecting to hang out for a couple of hours and then head back home - they ended up staying the entire weekend.

- Eventually, the tree bros came over to visit every weekend, sometimes during the weekdays for the hell of it.

- They all torture Jeremy’s dad for fun tbh.

- “wow you actually wear pants - i really wanted to see the ducky underwear you own”

- “thanks mr. ducky - i mean mr. heere.”

- Eventually Michael and Jeremy visit Evan and Connor for the first time, and they all end up going to Evan’s house because Connor’s house is a “no-go”, as he says.

- EVERYONE LOVES HEIDI. IT’S A FACT SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES.

- None of them have spoken about the Squips or the suicide attempts. They feel like they should just hide it and act like normal kids.

- One day Evan is just kind of watching the boyf riends play video games as Connor draws. He notices how Jeremy sticks the tip of his tongue out when he’s concentrated, how Michael’s eyes sparkle every time he beats a level, how they loudly shriek in sync when something bad happens and he. just. realizes how much he loves them.

- Evan gets all awkward and blushy around the three of them and every time they try to touch him or ask what’s wrong he just says he’s fine and pulls away.

- “did we do something wrong?” “I - I - I’M F - FINE”

- Since they’re have their regular “sleepover all weekend” things, Jeremy decides that they should camp outside because Evan likes nature, right? The rest of them agree.

- When they all go outside, they find a fireplace and decide to gather sticks and stuff for firewood.

- Michael and Connor totally fight each other with the sticks. it’s a fact.

- Eventually they all calm down and Jeremy gets a fire lit, and they’re just talking about things. Heavy things, the things they usually try not to talk about.

- Somehow, none of them slip up about the suicide attempts or the Squips, but when Evan speaks up he talks about how he feels like he’s a burden and that he’ll never be good enough for anything.

- The boys immediately jump to action, saying that they all like Evan so much, so god damn much and that they would probably die for him.

- Evan is so overwhelmed by the response - here are these beautiful men, all looking at him, worry and affection displayed on their dimly lit faces and. Evan just. explodes.

- “I think I’m in love with all of you?” And they boys are shocked, but Evan continues. “I don’t know how - I didn’t even think it was humanly possible but here we are?? And like it’s scary because I can’t even handle having a crush on one person, so why three? Why now? Why -”

- And Michael just cuts him off and says “I love you too.”

- And Jeremy and Connor just share a look and sigh in relief and they’re both like “yeah we kind of talked to eachother about our feelings already we were just waiting for you two..”

- So now there’s four blushing boys sitting in a backyard at 2 am, having spilled their feelings out for each other, unaware of what to do next.

- And then Michael asks Evan if he can kiss him and Evan is like “!!!!!!!!” and nods, and they share a small kiss.

- Jeremy speaks up, his face flushed as he talks. “Are we all.. dating now?”

- Connor and Evan share a look and smile.

- “Yeah, we are.”

THAT’S IT FOR NOW BYE

i think thats everyone around their bestfriends (/*^*)/

also thank you all for 40k followers on here i love you all and all the nice messages you leave me and sorry for not being active but i never thought i would reach this many followers on my depressing blog but i decided im gonna lighten this blog up a bit so look forward to that <3 

anime: kyoukai no kanata

anonymous asked:

Sorry if I'm bothering you but can you share why you think avatar is bad?

hoo boy man ur asking for a lot bc that show is a complete and utter M E S S. first, heres the main phrase my tibetan ass wants u to think about: its a show using asian/indigenous ppl and their devastating histories made by ignorant weeaboo white men. I want to write about it in detail bc i’ve always wanted to say something about this but never rly got around to doing it. maybe ill send this in letter format to the writers lol. anyways im going to split this up into parts. I’ll put a readmore bc its kinda long

@bryankonietzko take a nice long look if u still use tumblr lmao

Keep reading

DATING CAMILA MENDES WOULD INCLUDE

since nobody is writing about how camila is sooooooooo girlfriend material (and im so in love with her), here it is:


•  it all started with you two being good friends, and as friends, you kept getting closer and closer

when she found out that you were into girls she smiled so big for herself 

• bc you were this cute girl that since she looked at you she wanted to get to know better 

• at first you texted a lot, and everytime she saw something funny she sended it to you

• bc she knew it would make you laugh and that would make her really happy

• then you started hanging out everytime that she wasnt filming for riverdale, like in between takes you’d go to where she was and take her to grab lunch or something

• you tried getting spoilers from her but even tho she really trusted you already she couldnt tell anything

• but she loved how you got so frustrated bc you. needed. to. know.

• so she teased you a lil bit, saying things like ”this may or may not happen”

HOW SHE ASKED YOU TO BE HER GIRLFRIEND before that everybody thought you were a couple anyway

• you were sick, like really sick, so she being the caring “friend” that she is showed up at your place w some soup, and why not flowers (something that she learnt from playing veronica) 

• even tho you melted when you saw her with all of that, you didnt want her around  because you were afraid shell get sick too

• but she didnt care, she sat right next to you on the couch and put some movie on netflix

• you were falling asleep with your head on her shoulder and she was looking at you, playing with your fingers

• she probably wanted to ask you to be his girlfriend “properly” like, with a long speech  and give you maybe some chocolate or candy

• but while looking at you the words spilled from her mouth

• “hey do you wanna me like, my girlfriend?”

• “what”

• “what”

• both of you started laughing and oFC YOU SAID YES I MEAN

• so thats how you started dating

• thats when all the fun began hehehe jk

• her phone and yours would be filled with silly photos of you two

• you know that video of her cooking and laughing about it in her ig story? you’d have tons of them doing mostly everything

• like one day, she took your phone while you were showering bc she was bored and her phone didnt have any battery, and going through your camera roll she found this video you took from her while she was watching her favorite movie because you loved how her eyes lighted up whenever her favorite scene was on the screen and how loud she screamed when something “surprising” happened even tho she watched it thousands of times

• she would do the same, because you’d have that kind of relationship

• she comments on every single one of your pics, really short comments like “i love you” “im in love” “mOM” “gorgeous” “mine”

• her mom loves you, and likes to cook for you bc she seems so nice and lovely

• when she is mad over something really silly, she starts speaking portuguese and you just stare at her while she’s screaming walking around the room until she let it all out

• “i was doing it again?” “yup” “im sorry”

• but theres times where you two are cuddling facing eachother and she is putting your hair behind your ear while smiling and shed say “eu tenho tanta sorte“ or “você é tão bonita”

• you wouldnt get anything of what she said (and she probably wouldnt tell you) but youd smile so big because you knew it was something nice and when she speaks in another language is the cutest thing ever

• PDA !!!!! lots of pda

• but not the annoying type like sucking eachother faces in public, but holding hands, long hugs, cheek kisses, forehead kisses !!!

• at least twice a week you go out to eat or have a cute coffee date, talking bout life sitting infront of eachother, holding hands over the table

• she never fails to make you laugh, she’s always doing goofy things or trying to imitate someone (and failing)  just to put a smile on your face

• its 2:34 AM, the lights are gone, the only source of light is coming from your computer screen and you two are dancing in the living room to some random spotify playlist

• you can go from steamy hot makeout session on the couch to sloppy slow kisses filled with love

• she sings to you whenever you ask her 

• she is probably singing 24/7 GOD BLESS HER ANGELIC VOICE

• but if you’re having a rough time or you’re feeling sad, she sings to you in a low tone kinda whispering, while smiling sweetly 

• i dont think she is the jealous type  ? but if anyone is looking at you in a way that they shouldn’t she’d wrap an arm around your waist, not like in a “she’s mine back off” type of way, but in a sweet “i love her dont steal her from me” type of way im crying 

• SHE. IS. A. TEASER. LIL. ****

• you tried cooking together, but you endend up getting too “distracted” and burning the whole thing

• “lets order pizza” “but i dont want pizza” “what do you want?” “you”

• she appreciates you and loves you so much bc if she is dating you she is 100% focused on you so she wouldnt be the annoying cheesy type, but definitely cheesy

• when she is away filming or busy with her work she sends you selfies doing funny faces, or videos at set with the cast, or a pouty selfie with a “cant wait to get home :(” that makes you melt inside who wouldnt

• PET NAMES !!! she probably calls you “love/babe/gorgeous”

• and she is your little nugget, of course

• play nights at your place with her friends (and yours) happen a little too often, because is everything you love and need: wine, charades, friends, and eachother

PLAYING CHARADES AND SHE BEING THE ONE TO GUESS WILL BE KINDA LIKE THIS: “oh oh oh i know that one!” “pETER PAN!” “no??? mmmm aLICE IN WONDERLAND!” “what, no?” “WHAT THE HECK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN BABE?!?!?” “no wAY IT WAS F HAPPY FEET”

but it doesnt matter is you win or lose the game at the end of the night, bc she’d wrap her arms around you and say “i win, i have you”

i love her so so so so much okay?????? it ends right here before i start crying she is the most precius lil bean bye

tw: @softnessmalik

anonymous asked:

hello! correct me if i'm wrong but i think you're the jikook lover i follow who recently said they love reading fics?? so i was wondering if you know of fics/scenarios that build on that iconic hotel vlive when jimin may have been hiding in the bathroom? 👀 i thought about that last night and my imagination went kinda wild lol if not, any jikook recs will do! please and thanks! JIKOOK FO LYFEEEE💞

Hi Anon!! Sorry this was so late, the past week has been pretty wild for me. But anyways to answer the first part, no unfortunately I dont know of any fics that build off of that iconic vlive :( im sorry.

BUT that recent vlive came out right? With Jimin in the bath robe and that Jikook stare….ah yes. I know theres a couple of fics that build off or are just based off of that.

 A Private Conversation by ambers

 the jimin effect by euphoriae

I read these two recently and they were 👌👌 A++ would read again. As for my other Jikook recs, oh boi *cracks knuckles* here we go:


Blow Me Like Your French Horn by ohdizzy Chapters:8/8 >>> Ahhh! I love this fic!! Its so hilarious and adorable and such a great read honestly. I highly recommend this fic!!


Constraint by Harlot Chapters:1/1 >>> Basically Jungkooks journey from str8 to gay but oh, oh m a n, Its so beautifully done. Right from the beginning, all the emotions that Jungkook goes through are very real and the Jikook was developed so well. Please give this one a read.


He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not (Seven Days) by jeonify Chapters:2/2 >>> God, this really is a tear jerker this one. Its very sweet and fluffy and angsty and just so perfect. You can never go wrong with soft!Jimin and internationalplayboy!Jungkook 😊


Dream Maker by graesun and Polkari Seuta (VeritasEtVita) Chapters:12/12 >>> okokokok guys, read this fic. You will not regret it omg. The perfect mix of fluff, angst, smut and more fluff, this fic is a snipet into the lives of Jikook, who are just barely getting by with what little money they have, but theres lots of kisses, laughs, some angst and cute domestic shit™ This fic made me feel so many things and I loved it so much!! Give this one a try guys.


Don’t Think, Don’t Speak, Just Smile for Me by Ragi Chapters:27/27 >>> This fic left me shook for a solid week man, good god. So soft, so sad, so real. I loved the realism regarding homophobia and idols in Korea. Everything in this fic is written with care, and handled very well, plus the Jikook is beyond soft. I enjoyed this fic sooo much.


Glass Diamonds by GinForInk Chapters:1/1 >>> Skater Jungkook, Dance teacher Jimin, A+ smut and fluff, read this fic.


Well Done! by annafeu Chapters:1/1 >>> Okay, I suggest giving the tags a thorough peek through before reading this one because its twisted as fuck, but so damn amazing. This one features Bunny!Jimin, Wolf!Jungkook lots of filthy smut and grade A Jikook. Really great read, however do please read tag warnings before starting if you think you might be uncomfortable!


The Hook series by miskeen >>> Cute as fuck, domestic as fuck, hot as fuck, fuck. Read all the stories in this series please, theyre all 10/10 amazing.


The Good Doctor by snarcsics Chapters:1/1 >>> Frick doods, this was some of the hottest, well written Jikook fics ive ever read. Featuring sex addict Kook psychologist Jimin, and some excellent office sex, yes.


two sides; same story by namjoone Chapters:4/4 >>> Basically Jikook are neighbors and they both secretly think each other are hot as fuck and they rly wanna bang but they wont actually admit it to each other, typical jikook lmao. Anyways, this is sooo good!! Super steamy and super cute 👌


I Know I Can’t Have Him (but I want him anyways) by Shealezz Chapters:4/4 >>> ft fuckboy!Jimin and innocent!Jungkook (also fwb v/min) man this is filthy lmao, but a fantastic read!! God bless innocent bottom Jungkook honestly. Amen.


A Touch of Sin by pettey Chapters:10/10 >>> One word. Beautiful. Absolutely, beautiful. Right from the start to the finish, this fic had me feeling things in every chapter. Its graphic and raw but so beautiful. Highly recommend this one!


Okay last one before I get too carried away….


Relax, Dont Do It by yoongidontdoit (sammyinnerdglasses) Chapters:4/4 >>> Funny, adorable, smutty (extreme switching™) and overall so so good. Wild party animal Jungkook swearing to go at least 90 days without partying, late nights, or sex. But then he meets Park Jimin and that last part becomes slightly extremely hard not to do… *lenny face* Pls read this lmao.


Okay!! Thats all I got for now. I hope you enjoy 😊

Im so in love with you // SHAWN MENDES

Overview: Shawn accidentally tells Y/N he loves her

Requested: yeeees

Authors note:


“SHAWN move it, the movie’s starting,” I yell, the sound echoing around our small, shared apartment.

“I’m coming women, calm it down,” Shawn calls back from the kitchen, emerging seconds later with two cans of coke in his grasp.

“Ooh yes please,” I reach for the drink and Shawn cheekily moves his hand out of my range. I glare at him as he chuckles, flopping himself down on the couch next to me. Immediately I crawl across onto his lap, sprawling my body across his and making myself at home.

“Comfy there?” Shawn asks, popping the lid to each can, handing me mine. 

“Defiantly,” I reply, resting my head on his shoulder. He presses a kiss to the top of my head, his arm sneaking around my back to lay on my hip, rubbing small circles with his thumb.

“I chose It’s a boy girl thing, hope you don’t mind,” I mumble, intently starring at the screen.

“It’s fine, as long as you like it,” Shawn murmurs back, taking a sip of his drink.


15 minutes later we’re both chuckling at the romantic comedy. 

“That reminds me,” I say right after a funny moment, turning my gaze on Shawn. “Someone said a really funny joke in class today and I have to tell you,”

“Shoot,” Shawn says, gaze falling on me, the movie forgotten in the background as we both get absorbed in each other and the topic.

“Right so, whats the difference- th-the… difference,” I start laughing, unable to control the giggles spilling out of my mouth.

“Y/n,” Shawn whines, pulling me closer to him as I wheeze with laughter. 

“Sorry,” I gasp, finally managing to calm down. “What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?” 

We stare at each other, the movie filling the silence. I raise my eyebrows at him, waiting for the answer and he rolls his eyes.

“What is the difference Y/n?” He asks, a grin escaping onto his face.

“You can roast beef but you can’t pea soup,” I grin, waiting for him to start laughing. Instead, we just end up starring at each other again, me looking hopeful at him and Shawn starring blankly back.

“That was the worst joke I’ve ever heard in my life,” 

“You’re the worst thing I’ve heard of in my life,” 

Shawn laughs, squeezing my side gently making me squirm in his grip.

“Take that back right now,”  Shawn demands, squeezing my hip again.

“Make me,” I argue, laughing at his touch.

“You asked for it,” With that he flings me underneath him, quickly covering my body with his as he straddles me and begins tickling my sides.

“NO, Shawn!” I laugh, or more like cackle at his merciless attack.

“Say Shawn is the best thing to happen to me in my life,” he says, trying to look stern but the grin on his face does the opposite.

“My mum told me to never lie,” I tease back as his tickling ceases for a second.

“You little,” His hands resume and I gasp, trying to get air into my lungs as I laugh.

“Okay, I’m joking, I’m joking,” 

“Say it!” He laughs, watching me wriggle, trying to get out of his embrace.

“Shawn is the best thing to ever happen to me,” I cry, laughing hard.

“Damn I right I am,” he laughs, stopping his attack.

“Damn right you are,” I giggle, reaching up to kiss his cheek swiftly.

“God I’m so in love you,”

I freeze, eyes snapping to meet his alarmed ones. Redness quickly begins to creep onto his cheeks and he clears his throat awkwardly. 

“I, um,” Shawn avoids my eyes.

“Did you just say I love you?” I ask, just in case I heard wrong.

“I… yeah,” He mumbles, pulling himself off me and sitting up. “I didn’t mean to, it just kind of slipped out,” He tries to justify.

“Was not expecting that,” I try to joke but Shawn still isn’t meeting my eyes. My gaze softens, noticing how much those three words have effected him.

“Hey,” I say softly, running my hand across his back in soft comforting movements.

“I’m sorry if I ruined everything,” He says, meeting my eyes briefly.

“It’s fi-”

“Honestly, before I could even think I was just saying it,”

“Shawn its-”

“I know we’ve only been dating for a couple weeks but we were friends for quite a while beforehand so its understandable for me to feel this way about you-”

“Shawn I love you too,” I almost scream, frustrated that he wasn’t listening.

“You do?” his whole face lights up at my words.

“Of course I do, you’re the best thing to happen to me remember?” I smirk, creeping closer to his body.

“Mmhm, that’s true,” and he’s back to himself, the nervous Shawn gone in a blink of an eye. “I love you,” Shawn smiles, my heartbeat going a million miles a minute, then presses his lips upon mine.

‘We Met Through Our Roommate’ AU’s

- “you’re the roommate of my crush and you felt sorry for me and my pathetic attempts at wooing them so you offered to help me get in their pants but somewhere along the way we ended up falling for each other” au

- “you slept with my roommate who is notorious for one night stands, and now im meant to tell you that the reason you woke up alone is because they had to get to an early class, and proceed to get your phone number and tell you that they’ll call in a few days before binning it as soon as you leave, but i never do that so hi, sorry my roommates a jackass. pancakes?” au

- “my roommate is crushing on your roommate, who i hate. and your roommate is crushing on my roommate, who you hate. care to help me sabotage their relationship?” au

- “your roommate is pretty much stalking me, and you keep accompanying them to make sure they don’t do anything stupid and i accidentally mistook you for my stalker and kneed you in the crotch and i’m so sorry please let me get you some ice” au

- “your roommate got drunk at a party i hosted and passed out on my bathroom floor and you’ve come to collect them, but moving them from the bathroom and down to your car seems to be a two person job so now how do we get them round this corner and down the stairs without dropping them or giving them brain damage?” au

- “my roommate is in love with you an i’m meant to be getting you to date them but now i think i’m falling in love with you myself and this sucks everything sucks you suck” au

- “our roommates are fucking and its gotten to the point where we’re so sick of hearing them go at it all night that we have keys to each others places to escape the midnight moans, grunting and bed creaking and i don’t know where this is leading but i hope we end up fucking too” au

- “your roommate hosted a party and you’re not really a party person so you’ve locked yourself in your room but i’m not a party person either and its really loud out there can i just sit on your bed and play games on my phone or something?” au

- “your roommate is crushing on me, and my roommate is crushing on you, and we’re both meant to be setting the other up with our respective roommates but we’ve ended up falling for each other and this cannot end well” au

- “your roommate locked you out so they could have sex, and my roommate borrowed my key and then decided to go out last minute so we’re both stranded in the hallway together for an indefinite amount of time and wow your roommate makes really weird and loud sex noises" au

- “me and your roommate share a class together and help each other study weekly and you’re an annoying twat who thinks its funny to keep interrupting us and wait what do you mean they’re running late? no im not waiting here alone with you for two hours are you insane” au

anonymous asked:

I LOVE YOUR AUS SO MUCH OMG 💓 could you do a lil nct mark au? ☺️

  • highschool!au with mark
  • is completely oblivious to the fact that the entire school is in Love with him
  • plays on the basketball team 
  • but isn’t competitive during gym class like haechan whose like i will RUIN EVERYONE ON THE OTHER TEAm,,,,mark’s just like ok it’s just a game bud relax
  • sleeps in history class LOL
  • is really just a laid-back guy who sits near the window in all his classes so he can stare out of it and never really tries to argue with anyone 
  • gets volunteered to be class president because everyone loves him and he’s bashful about it like guys,,,,,,i don’t think im a good fit-
  • but everyone is like mark,,,,,you’re the nicest person,,,,,,,you’re friends with the seniors, the freshmen, the teachers, the ????? principal even knows your full name
  • but the truth is mark is kinda burdened by it because like he doesn’t really want so much responsibility
  • but too late everyone’s voted for him,,,,,,,,,and mark is LITERALLY too nice to say anything about it
  • and on the first meeting he’s. lost
  • literally didn’t bring anything to take notes with and he sits next to you, who’s got your binder out and ready. highlighters in three different colors if you need them
  • and mark leans over and is like “hi,,,,sorry can i borrow some paper,,,,,and a pen”
  • and you’re like,,,,,,,,you didn’t bring any????? it’s our first meeting????
  • and mark gets pink and is like “ive never been a class representative,,,,,,or done student government,,,,,i actually don’t know why i was chosen,,,,,,”
  • and you give him a funny look, but at the same time you don’t want to leave him hanging so you’re like “here’s some paper, ill help you during the meeting if you have any questions!!!”
  • and mark smiles at you,,,,,and his eyes are so wide and pretty and you’re like,,,,,,in your head,,,,going oh! i know him,,,,,he’s the prince of class b
  • and probably like five of your friends have told you about him, but you’d never really been near him until now
  • and the meeting goes well, mark asks you in surprise that is it the students that really plan the spring festivals and you’re like yes LOL
  • and as you’re packing up your things mark asks you shyly which way you’re taking to go home and you’re like im going to walk to the train!!!
  • and mark,,,scratching his neck is like “so am i, do you want to go together?”
  • and you think nothing of it, just that he’s being friendly since you guys are going to student reps together
  • but also,,,,,you feel some butterflies in your stomach as you guys walk side by side and you feel your arms brush slightly
  • and you talk about homework and upcoming tests and whatnot and mark is so easy going, and his laugh is charming,,,,,,,
  • and once you get to the train marks comes first, but he waits with you for your train and when he waves as you get on you smile,,,,,but also he’s so???????? Sweet,,,,,,,
  • and the next day mark is sitting with renjun and jeno and jeno apologetically asks if the meeting was tough
  • but mark breaks out into this grin and renjun is like WAIT DID SOMETHING HAPPEN
  • and mark is like “i think.,,,,,im happy to be class president now” and jeno is like ????????Why all of a sudden
  • and mark looks toward the open door of the classroom, kids rushing back and forth and then he sees you
  • making your way to class and he shrugs looking back at jeno
  • but renjun has caught on and he’s like “you’re so obvious - YOU MET SOMEONE CUTE!!!!! MARK HAS a cru S H”
  • mark: rENJUN SHUT -
  • haechan appearing out of thin air: mark has a what now, tell me all the details
You-You-Me

klance || truth or dare || 6.5k || nsfw

The paladins introduce Allura to the age-old Earthling game of truth or dare. Keith shares unwelcome knowledge about his sex habits. Hunk may or may not eat a sock. Somehow, sexual tension and relief ensues. Also, there are jokes.

i apologize for the memes, but be aware, it’s about 80% jokes, 20% smut

>> READ ON AO3 <<

Keep reading

shit that happened at hamilton according to angie

act one

• dUN DA DA DA DUN DUN DUN EEEAAAUUUOUUU
• everyone clapped for SO LONG when anthony enters like damn
• brandon SLAYED as burr tonight
• anthony had SO MUCH ENERGY like SHIT SON this boy was TURNT
• i didn’t know just how uninterested burr is during my shot he liTERALLY READS A BOOK IN THE CORNER BAHAHAHAHAHAH
• brrRRRRAAHH brrRRRRAAHH
• thayne has a booty???
• my shot choreography is LIT AF
• there’s a cool transition between my shot and story of tonight and i really appreciate it
• oNE LAST ROUND GENTS
• okay WOW i understand why everyone ships lams so much now
• john and alex totally fucked that night and no one can convince me otherwise like even later during farmer refuted john be walkin funny boi got laaaaaaid
• wERK
• at first when peggy enters she looks excited then she realize where she is and imMEDIATELY LOOKS SO DONE BAHAHAHAHAHAH
• eliza is literally just dragging peggy behind her the whole time wtf
• eVeRyOnE??? is here during this song i did NOT expect that
• hEED NOT THE R-
• LITERALLY poor sam tho he came out to have a good time and got so attacked rn
• the rest of the hamilsquad has to distract burr so he can’t stop alex and i LOVE THAT DETAIL
• aMERICA, ITS NOT ME ITS YOU
• the choreography for you’ll be back is not what i expected AT ALL and it’s EVEN BETTER
• the liGHTING HERE DAMN
• rip ensemble member
• hErE cOmEs ThE gEnErAl
• the liGHTING HERE DAMN (reprise)
• no wonder washington is so petty BURR JUST SHOWED UP UNANNOUNCED IN HIS TENT AND ASKED FOR A JOB
• “close the door on ur way out” OHHHHHHHH
• alternatively: “close the door on ur way out” “we’re in a tent sir”
• that end choreography looks hard damn
• LADIEEEEEEEEEEES
• cARLEIGH HEY
• hEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY
• the lanterns are cool
• ANTHONY DABBED DURING HELPLESS
• MY HEART
• flower girl hercules mulligan is my spirit animal
• what if #2830404827: what if hamilton was a harem anime
• hAH
• salty unrequited romance song (feat. sisterly bonds and shit)
• wOAH THE REWIND CHOREOGRAPHY IS JUST HOLY S H I T
• tHIS IS FUCKING AMAZING THO LIKE THE ANGELICA POV DAMN
• bUT NOW SHELL NEVER BE SATISFIED
• tHERES HOPE FOR OUR ASS AFTER ALL
• the “you are the worst burr” line is even funnier live bAHAHAHAHAHAH
• why do i feel like theodosia isn’t real like that story is pretty fishy to me i mean a pretty girl?? married to a British officer?? who we never see ever?? *puts on skepticals*
• wAIT FOR IT (that cheeseburger i ordered an hour ago, where the fuck is it??)
• wait for it is such a small number live AS IT SHOULD BE IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE
• PREACHA PREACHA PREACHA
• TEACH YA TEACH YA TEACH YA
• gENIUS
• rESPECT
• everyone hates that guy vol. 1
• cHICKAPLAO
• CHARLES LEE ™
• yES KICK HIS ASS JOHN
• counting to ten with increasing energy and homoeroticism ™
• the sexual tension between john and charles in this is fucking INSANE
• WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS
• THIS IS LIKE HAMILTON’S VERSION OF “I DONT DANCE” FROM FUCKING HSM2
• of course john shoots him he’s fucking amazing
• LEE FLAT OUT YELPS WHEN HE GETS SHOT AND JUST FLOPS ON THE FLOOR AHAHAHAHAH
• eVERYBODY DO THE FLOP
• daddy issues vol.1
• sOn
• dOnT cAlL mE sOn
• eliza sings about support and that’s about it
• bUNS and cHIPS and sEVERAL TYPES OF DIPS
• agsgdhshagsfadagshdgLAFAYETTE
• jk I can rap the whole thing
• bish u thot
• sICK JUMPS
• GET YER RIGHT HAND MAN BACK
• wait at least think about the letter you sending first tho
• i think you misspelled “right” dude
• daddy issues resolved song
• history has its eyeeeeeees ooooon-wait we have to fight a war fuck
• lets go win ourselves a war bitches
• monsieur hamilton MONSIEUR L A F A Y E T T E
• heh
• the CHOREOGRAPHY
• everyone claps at the end of the dance sequence AS THEY SHOULD
• that’s a big ass flag u sure that’s a handkerchief lafayette?
• dId YoU mIsS mE vol.1
• when he says “im so blue” he stamps his foot and the spotlight he’s in changes from red to blue bAHAHAHAHAH
• WELL GUESS WHAT?? YOU CANT GOVERN FOR SHIT AHAHAHAHHA
• “bye felicia” - king george III
• dear theodoge what 2 say 2 u
• the CHAIRS IN FRONT OF THEM MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THEYRE STANDING OVER CRIBS
• uH OH
• JOHN
• JOHN NO
• J O H N
• having to watch the rest of the hamilsquad reading the letter in the back does NOT MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER
• [through tears from last song] a-a…after the war i went back to n-new york
• NNNNNONSTOP
• this whole songs choreography is just WOWOWOWOWOWOWOOWWOOW
• eVERYONE IS HERE WOAH


~intermission~

• rUN TO THE BATHROOMS
• pICK UP THE HAMILTINI
• bUY A TSHIRT
• rUN BACK


act two

• [JAZZ HANDS]
• oh damn the slaves are here
• S A L L Y H E M I N G S I S H E R E
• thomas we are engaged.

• what
• seth is having WAYYYYYYY too much fun
• gonna just prance around here
• ITS THE RAP BATTLE
• THEY HAVE MICROPHONES
• JEFF DROPS THE MIC AND MADISON CATCHES IT BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
• cabinet audience is unamused
• [PRANCES WILDLY] WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS YOU DO IN MONTICELLO
• i love that tjeffs is totally chill until alex insults mads and he immediately just is like NO ONE INSULTS MY BOYFRIEND
• exCUSE ME?!?????
• “that’s an order from your comman-i mean president”
• UN DEUX TROIS
• PHILIP MY BABY
• CAN YOU NOT DIE JUST THIS ONE SHOW
• PLS
• ANTHONY WENT BALLISTIC WHEN HE SAID CINQ LIKE HE SUDDENLY WAS LIKE “un deux trois catre CIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINQ”
• oh please angelica your comma flirting is nothing compared to the shit alex and john exchanged
• my love interests are either upstate or dead therefore i shall have an affair and immediately regret it
• NOOOOOOO SIRRRR
• i like the lampposts they look nice
• I NEED TO BE AT THAT DINNER PARTY
• alex still looks shook from his affair at the beginning of room where it happens lmao
• PREVIOUSLY CLOSED, BROS
• OSHIT THAT TABLECLOTH JUST
• WOA
• burr does some shit vol.1
• “daddys gonna find out any minute” [velociraptor screeching in background] “…..im sure he already knows”
• BURR BYE 👋
• ….france
• DADDYS CALLING
• salt squad unite
• I LOVE THAT BURR JUST POPS UP OUT OF NOWHERE AND JEFF LOOKS SO SHOOK WHEN HE STARTS RANDOMLY SINGING
• wHICH I WROTE
• i dIDNT KNOW HE WASNT ONSTAGE UNTIL THAT LINE
• bAHAHAHAHHAHA
• daddy issues vol.2
• im sorry but fucking what
• shut up and have a drink
• ALEX TAKES MULTIPLE SHOTS BEFORE WRITING THE ADDRESS AAHAHHAHAAHHA SAMEEEEEEEEE
• THAYNE IS WEARING A FANCY HAT
• [WEEPS] GEORGE WASHINGTONS GOING HOME
• dId YoU mIsS mE vol.2
• JOHN ADAMS FFFFFFFFFFF
• GEORGE STAYS ON AND MIMICS BURR AHAHHAHAHAH
• SIT DOWN JOHN YOU FAT MOTHERFUCKER
• AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
• they all enter one by one and you can just see alex get more and more stressed out with each one that comes in
• IM GONNA JUST REVEAL MY AFFAIR FOR NO GOOD REASON TO MY ENEMIES WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG
• OH NO THAT WASNT A GOOD IDEA I NEED TO TELL THE WORLD FIRST
• OH NO THAT WASNT A GOOD IDEA EITHER FUCK
• oF COURSE SHES NOT HERE FOR YOU NUMBNUTS
• [is lowkey salty about congratulations not existing]
• the song sounds so serious on the album but the choreography makes it SO FUNNY HAHAHAHAHAHAH
• GEORGE IS HERE
• HOLY SHIT THERES ACTUAL FIRE IN BURN
• SHIT SON
• oh no • OH NO • O H N O
• [CRIES FOREVER]
• [CRIES SOME MORE]
• [DIES]
wait there’s an election fuck
• vOTE BURR BITCHES
• hE DIDNT VOTE BURR BITCHES
• OH NO
• O H N O
• THIS IS WHY YOU DONT THROW AWAY YOUR SHOT