im so sorry this is crap

Heat Headcanons

-With a mate, an Omega’s heat will usually only last a week. But without at least the scent of an Alpha, the Omega could be forced to suffer for up to three weeks

-During a heat the desperation to be knotted comes in waves. The length of breaks between these waves depends entirely on the pace set at the beginning of the heat. If the Alpha starts trying to knot the Omega before the heat has even really taken hold, the continuing duration of the heat will be more intense and exhausting with hardly any breaks between waves. But if they wait until the Omega is completely slick and ready for it, the heat will be easier and more relaxed for them

-An Omega’s first time going through heat with a mate and being nervous about everything. Worrying that being knotted will hurt, that the Alpha won’t find them attractive enough, worrying that their nest won’t be good enough. The Alpha picking up on the anxieties and despite how badly they just want to rut into the Omega, they take the time to snuggle into the nest and praise the Omega for how cozy and well put together it is, before gently coaxing their overheating mate from their clothes and slowly getting them to open up for them, and it’s all very nice and gentle…until the Omega arches and starts pleading for more

-During a heat is when bonding usually occurs. A couple bonds by biting into each others scent glands hard enough to draw blood and scar, doing it while being knotted helps distract the Omega from the pain of it

-Between waves of heat the Alpha will try to force the Omega to eat and drink and occasionally help them wash up in the shower…just so they can get them all dirty again ten minutes later

-Omegas in heat like to taunt their Alphas and try to aggravate them, because on an instinctual level they want the Alpha to pursue and dominate them and that’s exactly the reaction they get when they rile the Alpha up enough to snap and pin the Omega down with their full body weight and bite the back of their neck harshly to make them submit

-An Omega’s heat being unusually intense to the point that their Alpha is too wrecked and breathless to even move so the aggravated Omega just pushes them to lie back before sliding down onto the Alpha and satisfying themselves…it only injures a small portion of the Alpha’s pride

-Most Alphas love heats because they have a bit of a slick fetish and will happily spend a ridiculous amount of time licking up the excessive amount if slick their Omega mate is producing

-Alpha and Omega that are best friends and they are both fully aware that they are in love with each other, the Omega is waiting for the Alpha to initiate something but the Alpha is too nervous but one day the Omega goes into heat and pleads for the Alpha to help them out because it hurt so badly…a whole mess of instincts later and the Alpha is deep inside the Omega waiting for their knot to go down and freaking out because “oh my God I haven’t even asked you out yet! I’m so sorry, was this okay? Oh My God did I just take advantage of you?!” and the exhausted Omega telling them to shut up and that they’d arranged it all because the Alpha was obviously a scared little shit that needed a shove in the right direction

-An Alpha and Omega couple arranging to spend the Omega’s heat together, a few months in advance to ensure they are both level headed when discussing it (because consent is important) but the Alpha is too nervous once they actually go to do it. The Omega is literally all spread out and submissive in front of them and suddenly the Alpha is just like “Are you sure the heat wasn’t affecting you at all when we made this decision?” and the Omega is just so done “we’ve been planning this for months and if you don’t start fucking me right now for the love of god I will walk right out that door stark naked and get another Alp-” and that’s all the threatening encouragement the Alpha needs to start possessively latching on to the Omega’s neck and sliding themself right in

10

heterosexual pandering? in my danganronpa?? it’s more likely than you think

“Oh, this box is empty… Gotta get a new one!

Got my phone, got my keys, got my money….

Got my Dan Howell. Let’s go!”

“Are you kidding my you finished your cereal again are you serious”


What do you not leave home without. My best friend dan howell.


Please dont repost thanks!

Best of Wives & Best of Women Part 2

 Lin-Manuel x Reader

Part two requested by @whovianwriter  (part one here)

words: 3,006 holy crap im so sorry

warnings: a few swear words

a/n: yOU GUYS. 100+ followers, thank you so much, I love you ALL! In honor of you guys and @whovianwriter and her request, here is Best of Wives & Best of Women part two. Hope you all like it :) So sorry if this isn’t what you were expecting, I did my best sticking to your request! Don’t hate me! 

 (I don’t own any of the music lyrics mentioned here, all lyrics belong to the one and only!)

Keep reading

One of the things I really like about Garrus is that he’s a 7 foot tall terrifying and ruthless bird person who carries around a huge gun and will murder you if you step out of line ….

….and his go-to expletive is ‘crap’.

I mean yeah he says ‘damn’ sometimes for emphasis but he opens an elevator and comes face to face with a BOMB and just goes “Oh crap!!” like he’s 12

One time a husk manages to sneak up on him and he freaks out for a second and blurts out “whaT THE FUCK!?” and everyone just whirls around and stares in shock because did he just swear??? and they all kind of laugh and comment like ‘wow I didn’t know you had it in you!’ 

Garrus is horrified he might have offended someone and apologizes non-stop for like 45 minutes 

That time of the month- Joker x Reader

Hey, guys! Sorry, I’ve been really inactive lately, my school’s actually taking the piss with projects and homework. I’m so sorry! Well anyways, I thought of this on the bus and wanted to try and write it out. Hope you like it <3 P.S I’m planning to have the last part of Wear something sexy posted around by next Monday! Xx

Warnings: sWeArInG aF (no joke there’s a fuckload of it)

It was a usual day in the clown household, J out on a heist and poor old me, (Y/N), left to entertain myself without causing too much of a mess. Everything was as it should be, a massive buffet served on the table, the whole house spotless and flawless.Usually, I stand by the dining room chairs, waiting for everyone to be back safe and sound from a successful “business meeting” as J likes to call it.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I do worry. What if J’s gone? What if someone hurt him? What if something happened? Yadda, yadda ,yadda. It’s all crossed my mind before at least once, any woman has her concerns, nothing unhealthy or anything.

After around 1 hour of waiting, they arrived, cheering and praising J for an interesting night. I love his good moods. They were pretty rare, so I treasured them like a small girl treasuring her teddy bear, no matter how ripped and dirty it is. If he was jumping with joy, he would call me pumpkin and kiss me on the forehead, cute shit like that. He might not know it, but I always cherish the little things he does, they’re adorable and priceless.These were one of those good days until some bastard decided to fuck it up for me.

Whilst preparing the turkey, which I was planning to serve for dinner tonight, I had managed to do so many clumsy things I didn’t even know I could do. I mean, I cut open my hand, slipped over a tea towel of all things, banged my knee against the counter, trapped my pinkie toe in a cupboard, get my hair stuck in the freaking stuffing and squirt lemon juice in my eyes, making me practically blind. By far, the most fuck-all turkey I’d ever made. I ended up making steak since I mercilessly burned the goddamned headless bird that was literally a replica of Batman’s ass.

Now that turkey really fucking pissed me off.

But anyways, my bad mood was slowly disappearing as I heard compliments and shouts for seconds fill the room. I guess that cookbook paid off for once, thank you, Mary Berry. My legs were aching so much as I ran to and fro, henchman to henchman, adding gravy, refilling their beer and clearing their plates. I even saw some of them licking them clean.

J had finished. He surprisingly quietly placed his dishes away and walked out of the room, as if he were in his own little bubble. My puddin’ must’ve been thinking of a creative yet gory sabotage plan to finally kill the stupid bat.

I looked past every henchman, making sure that they were enjoying it. Hell, even if they didn’t like it, they didn’t have much choice or else they’d have to deal with J. My eyes suddenly stopped, glaring at a man who was staring at the steak; disgusted.

Obviously, I had to know what was wrong so I made my way over to him, trying to hide the fact that I wanted to shove that dead cow down that guy’s throat. “Somethin’ wrong honey?” My smile was clearly fake, but I didn’t want to be the person to ruin the happy spirit that seemed to float around in the air. The man looked up to me “Your so-called-steak is as raw as my dick and it tastes like it was scraped off the asphalt, what the fuck is this?”

Now that just made it a thousand times worse. “Oh, this?” I asked as sarcastically as I could, picking up the steak “this is your mum’s fuckin’ pussy from last night! Didn’t she tell ya? She’s got such lovely bed sheets and that baby picture of you was the cutest! It’s such a shame ya grew up into a disappointing piece of shit. Oh, and if your dick’s raw, I suggest ya go to a doctor and check for herpes because that can get real serious, honey.” I smiled at him with pure anger, turned my heel and started to walk out into the hallway. The loud echo from my noisy heels abruptly stopped once I heard him murmur under his bullshit breath “Guess it’s someone’s time of the month,”

That’s it. He’s finally done it. I took deep breaths, trying to calm down my steaming fury that was about to explode, but nothing could help me now. Marching my way back down the hall, I halted about a few inches from the henchman’s face. Opening my mouth, I violently lobbed every curse word I could imagine at him, letting all hell loose. "NOW WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE??!!YOU INSULT MY FUCKING COOKING THEN SUDDENLY ASSUME THAT JUST BECAUSE I’VE HAD A BAD FUCKING DAY YOU GET TO SAY I’M ON MY PERIOD?! OH, I DON’T THINK SO. I’VE HAD IT WITH YOU AND YOUR FUCKING SHITTY ATTITUDE. YOU COMPLAIN ALL THE FUCKING TIME AND I’M SO FUCKING DONE WITH YOU. I’VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR FUCKING WHINING. GO LICK YOUR DAD’S PUSSY SINCE YOUR UNCLE’S WASN’T GOOD ENOUGH YA TWAT!!”

I grabbed my golden gun out of my fishnet tights and shot the dickhead right between the eyebrows, killing most of my rage along with him. I let out a few deafening screams, feeling the vibration of my voice hitting against the purple walls. That made me feel way better. I opened my eyes to see J looking at me, slightly confused. “What was that all about doll?” “Oh, it’s nothing. It’s just that time of the month, ya know?” And I walked away like the sassy bitch I am, like I had no idea to why a dead man was silently meeting the Grim Reaper in our polished hallway.

How BTS Would Be in Bed

Jin: 

  • Soft most of the time
  • Very Vanilla
  • Doesn’t really like experimenting
  • But on occasions he will
  • And thats when Daddy Jin comes out to play
  • Has kinks nobody knows about

Namjoon

  • Lord he is so kinky
  • Loves experimenting
  • Uses all the toys
  • Good god he has such a Daddy kink
  • Really dominant
  • Teasing
  • Lots of worshipping your body

Yoongi

  • On the kink scale he is a medium-high
  • Really into you riding him
  • Daddy kink
  • Usually dominant but occasionally submissive
  • Teasing
  • Denial
  • All that kinky crap 

Hoseok

  • Is secretly hella kinky
  • Only shows a few kinks tho
  • Is usually somewhat soft
  • But on occasions is really hard
  • Remember that he is the lead dancer, he knows how to move those hips
  • He is equally dominant as he is submissive
  • Always up to experiment

Jimin

  • Holy kinky Daddy
  • So rough
  • Loves oral
  • Lots of teasing
  • Lots of denial
  • Always dominant
  • Up for experimenting 

Taehyung

  • Love bites
  • Can be soft but can also be hard
  • He likes to mix it up
  • He likes to make love just as much as he likes to fxxk (*BigBang starts playing*)
  • Not really that kinky
  • But he does have his bedroom quirks

Jungkook

  • He wouldn’t know what to do
  • He would be so shy
  • He would be really soft at first
  • he would also be really embarrassed
  • You would need to tell him what to do because he is clueless
  • But eventually he got confident enough to take matters into his own hands
  • He would eventually get REALLY kinky…like red ball gag and shit.

A/N: I hope you guys liked it….Shout out to @extrasugafree for helping me with this XD

anonymous asked:

lucaya fic where maya goes missing and lucas is a mess

so this prompt is really old so im very sorry about that. this monster of a drabble is a gm triangle au, bc we all know the whole maya identity crises arc was handled terribly, so this is my attempt to fix it, it takes place a few hours after maya said “you want me to go home? i’ll go home.”

“Dude, you need to decide.”

“Look, I,” he hesitated. “I think I know who I choose. I just need to talk to them.”

Keep reading

omgjustinoluransi  asked:

in the wtnv au is there still a literal five-headed dragon running for mayor? and if so who is it?

Oh HELL yeah… 

idk about mayor but Providence Mcfalconer is definitely running for something. (or, maybe we’re running from him. debatable…)

5

… when skellies get elctricuted? idk man.

hah, fuck anatomy, I am having a helluva fight with this artblock, so just getting something stamped as DONE is a fucking miracle

also - I have too many different ways I want them to look as humans, I had such a hard time picking a design… and then, out of my hands this crap came to be. Im sorry, it’ll be better next time pfffff