im so consistent i make myself sick

so today I hit my lowest weight ever in my adult life (148 at 5’ 11") and im kind of in a glass case of emotion?? because this time i lost (and am hoping to lose 8 more) the weight under doctor supervision, never dangerously undereating, tracking my changing TDEE and making sure I’m still on track, light exercise, consistency, blood tests every 3 months, etc etc.

i used to be so disordered thinking it was the only possible way I could lose weight, making myself sick eating too little food and drinking too much water.

so it’s a little bittersweet because I wasted all that time, but im very happy to be at this weight and so pleased with myself in general.

Editing to add: and my eating disorder diagnosis has been dropped.