so this is a bit of a babbling mess. but i wanted to write it down. (btw reffering mostly to the more angry mean side of the anti cs fandom)
ive just been thinking about why it is, I get so upset with particular antis who critique me, others like me, and the cs fandom as a whole for liking the ship we do. like why do i care so much what they think?? and i think it really comes down to my sexuality.
let me explain
a good chunk of the anti cs fandom (at least that i’ve experienced) have been known to throw out the word homophobic when someone ships cs over $q or doesn’t like the concept of $q as a ship. ive been called it NUMEROUS TIMES (and again im bisexual so it’s a tad ridiculous. also add that to the fact that I actively work with the lgbt community for my job, makes it even more ironic).
either way there is a particular mindset on a certain side of this fandom that if you ship cs but cant see the potential of $q than you are somehow not accepting or as accepting of non hetro sexualities and non hetero relationships.
and as a bi woman this frame of mind reminds of exactly how bi erasure feels and how i experienced it growing up. for so long i was told that my sexuality was a phase, was fake, was some non legitimate creation of my own. All because i tend to like romantic relationships with men more than women. because all of my relationships have been with men and I generally fall easier for people in the male population that has always made my sexuality seem illegitimate to so many people. and that’s a hard thing to experience. feeling not only that part of the world thinks youre a god forsaking heathen for liking woman as well but that there is ANOTHER section of people on top of that who think your sexuality is illegitimate and a farce.
and the same feelings i experience with the above is the same feelings the antis sometimes tend to invoke in me. telling people they are homophobic for not liking an lgbt ship is horrible. thinking people who dont ship your lgbt ship are less of an advocate or ally is dangerous and mean and wrapped in false sentiment.
but telling a bisexual woman that because she supports a male/female ship she is homophobic or toxic to me feels a lot like what direct erasure feels like to me. its like im not allowed to like m/f ships the same or more than f/f and m/m ships because it somehow makes me less supportive of the lgbt community and less legitimate in my own sexuality.
is this making sense to anyone? im trying to put it into coherently by im upset
It’s kind of my headcanon that Kitsch(that courier of mine), having an amnesia after being shot in the head. Ulysses and her only had these rare occasion of friendly courier to courier chat that got a hint of a flirt in it. Until one day she delivers the package that will obliterated the Divide, and she went east… Only comeback to the Divide, without knowing any better than the first time she went there.
Jinhoo: the only semi-sane one there. likes to have weekly ‘bonding time’ with everyone else. the only one who cleans up after their shit
Kuhn: conSTANTLY WATCHING ANIME LIKE OMG. always comes home with takeout at the weirdest times and always walking around at midnight contemplating life
Kogyeol: begs everyone to get their own grand piano and puts it in the living room, and it takes up half the space. sometimes he plays it at like 2 am and nobody knows why. lowkey watches anime with kuhn
Wei: asleep almost 24/7 but when he is awake he constantly trips over sit and leaves all the doors open, often bangs his head on the top of door frames
Bitto: people can always hear him rapping at like, 4 in the morning. cooks the weirdest foods at the weirdest times. he either never sleeps or sleeps all day
Wooshin: people don’t really see him that often, but when they do he’s watching tv with gyujin or getting really into a video game. doesn’t sleep
Sunyoul: the only one who can actually tame the others and makes sure nobody kills each other. sometimes sings duets with hwanhee
Gyujin: always watching tv and stays up all night. one time he got too into a movie that he yelled and threw the remote at the tv, breaking it
Hwanhee: either out doing weird shit with xiao or in the dorm singing to people and demanding they tip him for “blessing them with outstanding vocals”
Xiao: he’s never there??? like he’s always out doing some shit usually with hwanhee so people never see him around
// shizaya and thats really it like idk tom and vorona i find cute but like no one else seems too ship it, just i dont even ship shincelty cause shinra is a lying dick so its kindA unhealthy inb4 shizaya is unhealthy too, the difference is shizaya isnt canon