im shaking im crying i dont know what to do

anonymous asked:

Imangine something bad or sad happening to Ross and he can't handle it and runs out of the room. Barry goes after him, and after a long search, he finds the angel huddled in a corner. He kneels down and guides Ross's face to look at him, jumping a little to see its in its one eye mode. Barry asks what he's doing, and Ross is hesitant, but finally says "I-I c-can't cry when I o-only have one eye..." Barry pulls him in to a large bear hug, and after a while, feels tears on his shirt...

OKAY I sooooo want this to be a reaction to the whole ‘im gonna outlive everyone of you’ type of scenario that moss and I made up ahh WARNING THIS IS A LONG FUCKIN POST OKAY I GOT CARRIED AWAY ITS LIKE A GODDAMN SHORT STORY AT THIS POINT AAAAAAAAAA

Like, he goes to find him and when he does hes curled up on the couch in the grump room, his wings almost completely engulfing him. The room is dark save for the tv giving off a faint bluish glow, probably from Arin or Danny leaving the game on for too long. He goes around and sits down across from Ross, waiting for him to open up about whatevers been bothering him if he decides to start talking. Its a long, heavy silence before Ross starts to speak up; he peeks out from behind his crossed arms, curling his feathers back a little so he sounds a bit more clearer.

He tries to explain these complicated feelings and circumstances; how hes been alive for soooo long and hes seen so many humans living their lives, how everyone hes met has died but its always been a sort of calming farewell and he just moves on with life. In comparison to his lifetime, they take up what feels like only minutes of his life and usually the people who die are replaced relatively easily. Barry scoffs and Ross automatically tries to take that back: “Its not that they werent important to me! its just, getting caught up with the realization that theyre gone is too much effort, its easier to just make more happy memories instead of dwelling on stuff like that…”

Barry kinda just stares at the TV for awhile before talking. “Then why are you so beat up over this?” Ross looks at him weirdly and Barry feels like he has to elaborate. “Like, this has happened to you tons of times right, friends dying I mean, and everytime it happens you give yourself a healthy amount of time to mourn and move on with you life.” He turns to look at Ross and hes got this broken look on his face like hes about to start crying at any given moment and Barry almost feels guilty for talking, but hes not finished yet: hes genuinely confused and he wants an answer. “I dont understand… if this is routine for you, why are you breaking down now? Im not trying to sound spiteful im just curious; what makes this generation of friends so much more different than the others? You can easily make new ones right after us, we arent that special” and Barry laughs bc its true and hes just trying to lighten up the tension a little. But without warning Ross whips his wings behind him and shouts:

No! Thats the problem you guys ARE special to me!! You guys mean EVERYTHING TO ME and Ive never felt so helpless before. I care about all of you so much and its frightening how much ive grown attached..i-ive always had dreams about burying my friends decades before they actually die but its always been reassuring like im gonna remember these people and im gonna be the one to make sure they rest easy but now ive been having those dreams with you guys! And everytime i have them, im crying in hysterics and i feel so fucking hopeless and uneasy in these…nightmares and I dont know what to do..” Ross’ face is flushed and Barry can tell hes desperately trying to hold back tears:

“I-I dont know what im gonna do with myself when you guys pass… you guys are so important to me i-ive never had this issue before and I t-talked to brian about this and hes having the same problem!! I DONT UNDERSTAND i dont know what to do and I have no one to talk to for advice and the more I think about it the more stressed I become a-and I know im just rambling at this point but Im so scared and I have these feelings and im just so unclear about what they are: oh god if I lose you guys, if I lose YOU i-im…im really scared Barry…” and before he starts crying he puts his face in his hands and starts breathing heavily, wings shaking feverishly. Barry wants so bad to just give him a solid answer, to tell him that he’ll be fine and he’ll get over them eventually dont worry! But Ross is in the middle of a breakdown and hes got all these feelings bubbling to the surface now and all he can do just kinda sit there awkwardly..

Holy shit, Ross dont cry ahh oh no…fuck…“ He gently tries to pry open his hands only to be taken aback by Ross staring at him with his one eyed form. “What the fuck! You cant just throw that at me, shit! W-why are you like that??” When Ross talks, its a weird type of mix between his own voice and autotune: its sounds like.. hes thinking of Ross talking to him instead of actually hearing him and it throws Barry for a loop: “When im like this…  I cant cry… that way I wont worry you too much…” and Barry just stares bc the dude is in the middle of a crisis and the first thing he does is try his best to make him a bit more comfortable and at this point hes like, i fucked up somehow and ive got to make this right… making sure this is the right thing to do, he transforms into his bear form, something that Ross rarely gets to witness and slowly opens his arms into an inviting hug: “Im gonna do that thing Arin does whenever were upset… is it okay for me to do that for you?” and when Ross meekly nods his head, Barry carefully scoops him up in a hug, gently petting his head.

He kinda feels like this isnt working as well as it should until he can feel a sort of dampness on his shirt and when he realizes its Ross crying, he clings a little harder and starts rocking him a little trying to encourage him to let it out “Keeping it all in never works okay? At least thats what Arin always says…You gotta try to tell us when shit like this is eating you alive and keeping you up at night…” He pulls back a little so that he can look Ross in the eye. Hes staring up at him wide eyes, his face red with exhaustion and cheeks damp with tears. “Ross, you have to promise me that you come talk to me if you feel like this again okay? Nobody wins if you keep it all inside okay… you gotta promise me” Ross is still staring doe-eyed at him before slowly nodding his head… Barry smiles and slowly gets up, leaving Ross on the couch. “Stay here, ill be back. I just need to get you some water and blankets: well just camp out on the couch for tonight how does that sound?” Ross looks up at him and nods, not trusting himself enough to speak and Barry, satisfied with the answer goes down the hall.

I…HAVE NO EXCUSE… I RAMBLED ON FOR FAR TOO LONG this was in my head for soooooo long and once I saw the ask, I had to take the opportunity to write a goddamn novel haha I WANTED TO ALSO CLARIFY that Ross talks telepathically when he does that weird one eye thing… ive been meaning to say something about that for ages so i just decided to add that in… IM SORRY FOR THE LONG POST AAAA

kaitlynnnhart: IM CRYING BC I JUST SAW 1D AFTER 5 YEARS AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE NOW OKAY!! 4/5 NOTICED ME AND IM SHAKING AND I DONT HAVE MERCH AND I WANT TO CRY😭😭💖💕💕🙏🙏😘😘❤️❤️👌👌 at AsiaWorld–Expo

anonymous asked:

*URGENT* im at home with my mom's boyfriend and my mom was supposed to be home 4 hours ago but she's not and im scared and im having a derealization/depersonalization episode and i keep trying to call her but she isnt picking up the phone or responding to my texts and im crying and i want to scream but i cant or my mom's boyfriend will think somethings wrong with me im just really scared and im crying and shaking i dont know what to do please help

Ren says:

Hey, hello! First of all, breathe! Do you have a favorite smell that’s on hand? For me, I really like the smell of vanilla. I have some scented hand sanitizers that I’ll rub on my hands and smell to remind me of where I am. But any strong smell will help you - spices, even, although be careful not to inhale those big particles. Gentle sniffs!

Drinking cold water or peppermint tea, or eating sharply-flavored fruits like strawberries or sharp cheeses - anything with a strong flavor or taste - will help, too. So will splashing some cool water on your face and wiping it off. Sensation!

Check out these posts for more helpful tips. :)

You’re here. You’re safe. We got you, love, you’re okay.

Here is a whole document full of animal videos. Watch these as you breathe - four seconds in, eight seconds out, until you feel okay to stop crying - and come back to Earth. Find yourself again. And when you’re settled into reality once more, can you ask your mom’s boyfriend where your mom is, or if he can get into contact with her? You have every right to be worried and scared, but it’s not squarely on your shoulders to keep your mom safe. Your job is to keep yourself safe, first and foremost.

<3