im really excited about things right now so i needed to do something to keep myself from bouncing off the walls

some highlights from Story and Song from an all-caught-up-now TAZ listener (spoilers abound)
  • hot damn yall
  • i gotta feeling everybody’s coming back for this finale
  • oh god taako just realized he found his sister’s fucking SKELETAL REMAINS
  • griffin: “taako and merle, make a dexterity saving throw" justin: “hell yeah, dungeons and dragons is back!” griffin: “we’re back and we’re rolling dice that have 20 sides on them. it’s got 20 sides and 20 numbers, its great”
  • griffin: “the third figure is a fucking rhinoceros” magnus: “DIBS!”
  • the fact that angus is an 11 year old child and totally DOWN TO FIGHT just reinforces that i was right to make him my favorite npc
  • hell yeah we’re back to DND fights! they like rolled for initiative and everything
  • justin, after talking about taako’s leveling up: “should i talk slower so everybody who’s been complaining about us not playing dnd has time to nut. how’s everyone enjoying this GREAT COMPELLING AUDIO”
  • griffin: “this hand is gonna attack you, taako, cuz you just set it on fire”
  • magnus: “i jump on the back of the rhinoceros” griffin: “of COURSE you do”
  • taako: "hey magnus that was the coolest thing ive ever seen…HANDS DOWN!“ get it cuz they found a giant magical hand…GETIT?!
  • ango used the umbra staff to cast a fireball way above what ango should be able to do and im like hot damn i love this fucking umbrella
  • taako: “i snap the umbra staff over my knee” HOLY SHIT YALL!! ITS HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • LUP LUP LUP LUP ITS LUP ITS LUP ITS MY DAUGHTER SHE’S HERRREEEEEEE
  • “lup grits her teeth and says ‘I’m going to fucking kill you now’“ MY GIRL!!!!! THATS MY GIRL!!!”
  • PHANTASMAL AND RESPLENDENT
  • “YOU’RE DATING THE GRIM REAPER???” I LOVE HER SO GODDAMN MUCH
  • lup: “why didn’t you let me out sooner, dingus?” taako: “i didn’t remember you existed, goofus” THEY’RE SO ADORABLE
  • taako: “don’t worry, I’ve got MAGIC POWERS” magnus: “is that supposed to be a big reveal?”
  • the love between magnus and fisher is one of my favorite bonds of this whole show
  • everyone banding together to fight the big bad is one of my favorite tropes ever (what’s up pacific rim) so that everyone is doing that here is INCREDIBLE
  • magnus: “i use my levitation magic” griffin: “oh im sorry, did you say you take the elevator? the skype call broke up for a second there”
  • griffin: “magnus, something falls from the sky” magnus: “i catch it” griffin: “no you don’t, it’s pretty big”
  • i’m so glad that griffin is committed to calling killian, carey fangbattle, and noelle “Team Sweet Flipz”
  • lup: “here’s my idea, are you ready for it? it’s a banger”
  • griffin: “you remember that, taako, because your memory’s so good!”
  • griffin: “its upsy, your lifting friend” wait what. im sorry, what?????????
  • oh its lucas okay, cool. that moment got wayyyy too much Gravitas for it just to be the worst brand mascot EVER
  • YOOOOOO istus’s gift to taako, the item he could retrieve when he needed it most, has RETURNED TO THE STORY AND IM SO EXCITED BY THAT!!!
  • wait wait. is this RANDO the “man wreathed in flame”? THIS LITERAL RANDO??? THIS LITERAL RANDOM CHARACTER GRIFFIN HAS JUST INTRODUCED TO US NOW????
  • griffin has really genuinely lost track of the correct timeline of the events of this story and im like shit my dude, you and me both. ive only got most of it down
  • this john motherfucker is like almost tugging at my heartstrings but also im the embodiment of “cool motive still murder” bc im pretty sure this dude’s to blame
  • clint doesn’t remember jack shit about merle’s kids right now and in context, its like merle doesn’t even know how old his kids are. that’s BAD
  • griffin: “although this bear is in like Furious Nonsensical Monster Mode, you see, just faintly, you see it retract its claws as if to say ‘alright motherfucker, lets wrestle’”
  • magnus: “they’re not strong enough, I have to be” damn, talk about a Magnus Burnsides Thesis Statement
  • the fact that magnus is refusing to kill this monster mode Power Bear even though it’s being controlled by an eldritch nightmare is like. proof that magnus has a goddamn heart of gold. what a hero
  • magnus finds it in him to ask for help and avi comes crashing through the walls like “sup dude, need some help from Captain Handsome Hero?”
  • “no dogs on the moon!” AAHHHHHH IM SO EXCITED ABOUT THAT
  • taako: “i don’t know what tacos are. I’ve gotten hints, if you wanna call them taco prophecies. that’s a crazy thing to say out loud, but I just said it, so here we are, I guess, I’m talking at you through a frying pan, try to keep up Joaquin”
  • taako: “I’ll take one taco, extra destiny”
  • taako: “yeah, like I’m going to let myself be seen being taught how to cook anything, nice try”
  • taako: “so, a toast” joaquin: “no, its a taco….just a little food joke” taako: “very little”
  • istus: “huh, didn’t see that one coming” griffin: “across two universes, two food trucks explode” damn griffin
  • joaquin: “EVERYTHING’S GOING TO BE OKAY! I’VE GOT MAGIC POWERS!” DAMN! THAT’S A GOOD FUNNY PARALLEL
  • griffin: “kneeling at the center of town, is kravitz” OH GOOD! NOW WE’RE COOKING! NOW WE’VE GOT THE GOOD SHIT GOING!
  • i just gotta mention here that I love eldritch nightmares and cthulu-esque monsters, so this story’s eldritch nightmare that consumes everything in its path contrasted with a slowly-more-corrupted human avatar is MY JAM
  • merle: “i cast zone of truth!” travis: “TO WHAT END??”
  • griffin: “it is the most powerful holy spell you have ever cast” THAT’S A GOOD FINALE CALLBACK!!!!
  • HURLEY! AND SLOANE!!! THEY’RE BACK AND THEY’RE DRYADS!!!!!! THAT’S SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!! GRIFFIN!!! YOU BROUGHT THEM BACK!!!!!!!!!
  • griffin: “she turns back to lucas’s lab and she says ‘hero time’” NOELLE!!!!! NOELLE THAT WAS SO GOOD!!!
  • THIS TAAKO/KRAVITZ KISS IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!!! THEY’RE KISSING!!!! I LOVE THEM!!
  • kravitz: “i wanna warm up my face so it’s not weird” AWWWWW
  • THEY’RE SO IN LOVE! I LOVE THEM! THIS EPISODE IS SO GAY
  • lup: “what’s up ghost rider?” kravitz: “you know we’re going to have to talk about the fact that your sister’s a lich, right?” taako: “yeah…i assumed”
  • lup: “taako just summoned all the energy in our reality to come help us fight” magnus: “mmhmm. I fought a bear…when I say it like that, it doesn’t sound as good, does it?”
  • davenport: “lup did you find the starblaster?” lup: “oh i sorta… forgot we were supposed to be doing that”
  • taako: “we have basically been trolling it for 100 years..[..]..and i don’t know about you, but TAAKO’S GOOD OUT HERE”
  • lup: “lucretia, dear, I’ve already forgotten about the whole thing. OH! OH! bad choice of words!” lup you adorable asshole
  • lup: “please don’t die” taako: “i’d say the same but that ship done sailed, hasn’t it?”
  • MAGNUS GAVE ANGUS HIS KNIFE!!!!! THAT SHIT IS SOO GOOD!!!!!!!
  • taako: “i walk over to angus and say ‘hey cool knife, you know he’s got a sword that’s on fire, right? he did just give you a KNIFE’”
  • lup: “hear that, babe? we’re legends”
  • there’s magic in a bard’s songOH SHIT! OH SHIT! OH SHIT!!!!!!!!!!
  • “YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIGHT! AND YOU’RE GOING TO WIN!”
  • magnus: “this is it? it’s just a guy!” taako: “yeah it’s one guy, shouldn’t be a problem”
  • clint: “you heal up to 700 hit points!” griffin: “BULLSHIT! WHAT???” clint: “divided evenly” justin: “okay well but you don’t have any 9th level spell slots…” clint: “then I will use Mathias the Living Grimoire!” awesome I’m so glad clint learned how to actually properly play dnd on this LAST EP
  • griffin: “I will say, you’re on a ship, there’s probably a mast or something for you to swing down from” wait what this is an actual ship??? i was picturing like the entreprise or something
  • griffin: “we’re playing a little calvinball with the design of the starblaster” oh okay cool yeah its like a spaceship, not a fucking 17th century pirate ship
  • my dudes you never leave your weapons buried in the dying bodies of your enemies bc if they bounce back, they got your weapon now
  • griffin: “john is up first” justin: “fuck” clint: “he’s still just john? he’s not Demi-john????” travis: “final john” more cross-mcelroy-product jokes!!!!
  • the grubby heroes healed by godly love, i bet some people are feeling some Stuff right now
  • taako: “hey i want everyone to meet a new friend of mine, this is Joaquin” griffin: “OH FUCK! YES YES YES YES!!!”
  • joaquin: “thanks for the wizard powers, I’ve killed like a hundred of these things!”
  • griffin: “oh fuck I thought you were going to summon ME!!!”
  • hot damn clint REMEMBERED his gift from istus and fucking used it!!!!!!!!!
  • taako used the immovable rod!!!!! im so proud of them for remembering AND using all their items!!!!
  • taako: “i gotta be with lup” oh that’s so fucking sweet
  • angus: “hey everybody, johann was right! WE WON!” cool im crying a little bit, no big deal
  • LUP GOT HER BODY BACK! LUP GOT HER BODY BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • griffin: “how does magnus die?” hey fuck off griffy i don’t want this
  • magnus being reunited with julia is making me cry significantly now
  • they got their happy endings, everybody got their happy endings, and I’m so happy
  • I am SO glad and grateful I got caught up in time for this fucking heartwrenching sweet finale