I was having a pretty shit day until I read your happy headcanons. They're so warm and fuzzy! Keep 'em coming!
awww sorry you had a shit day, hope todays better tho… but this message was so sweet thank you!
i got a family headcanon thing comin soon to own on dvd and video, but heres some more fuzzy shit :$)
-mulder adn scully cuddle at any possible opportunity.
like big family gathering? dont bother with the extra chairs, ill just sit on top of mulder!
wow, humans really do waste a lot of water per day, maybe we should conserve more… and that leads to mulder and scully sharing baths and showers for the sole purpose of environmental conservation. the only purpose. whatsoever.
jeez, this hospital bed is so cold. i could use some more warmth but theres not a thermostat in sight… scully what are you doing? climbing into my bed! well this is a welcome surprise.
-in the very beginning of their relationship, mulder was very nervous about being with scully, thinking he didn’t deserve her, that he was bad for her, etc, and one of the arguments that he used was “you deserve someone who will take you to brunch, to art museums, for walks in the park” and scully countered with “why can’t you do any of that. what if i want all of that, i just want it with my spooky partner who will point out aliens in renaissance paintings.
and so at least once a month, they go out to brunch then to an art museum and a walk in the park. mulder always makes a point of taking her past every statue and painting of people kissing, and then sticking his tongue down her throat. “life imitates art. right, scully?”
-the lazarus bowl got them hooked on crappy movies. anytime the shittiest, corniest, obvious trainwreck comes to their local theater, they go, make out in the back of the theater and then go to dinner and make fun of the parts of it that they did see.
-mulder has a list of the best huggers in the entire world:
1. Maggie Scully
2. Dana Scully
3. That Big Bald Beautiful Man
-the only reason maggie’s above scully is she always lets him have like a five minute long hug because lets be honest the man is kind of hug-deprived and she always smells like cinnamon buns right out of the oven and her cardigans are so soft and shes his new mom now.
-scully carried mulder over the threshold.
-ok i know this is another lazarus bowl one but hear me out:
the sex files still happens because of that movie and anytime scully’s out of town, the two can simultaneously be found watching it miles apart.
-mulder takes a weekly pottery class and by the time they actually got around to getting married, their “wedding china” was made up entirely of his creations. scully adores it and if anyone other than mulder breaks a plate they need to vacate the area for at least 12 hours.
-when william was born, mulder tried to stick tiny little vulcan ear tips onto his son’s ears and scully almost murdered him right then and there when she saw him putting him in a star trek uniform onesie
-they’ve been banned from at least four different dry-cleaners in the dc area because of unidentified substances on their clothes. it was almost five but the last one was luckily convinced that it was their son’s spit-up not mutant goop (again).
-scully and mulder are regulars at the batting cages and years later, they’re still going to that same one, but they get there and notice their son with his (future) husband and they just back away and go get ice cream. they write a review of the venue for the newspaper. “10/10 would recommend. my husband took me on our first date there. my son took his on his first date.”
-mulders been kicked out of multiple flea markets for “harassing the vendors” about “ghosts in their products”.
-their dog’s favorite chew toys are mulders ties.
-they have a fireplace and since mulder’s no longer afraid of fire, they curl up together in the winter, wrapped up in the same, huge blanket maggie made them and they fall asleep listening to the snowy wind whipping past the house. if it gets so bad, the wind is literally howling, tiny little scullys will toddle down the stairs with their baby blankets dragging behind them adn crawl onto the couch between their parents.
-the uber-scully’s history projects are always really something, given that their father has a million different takes on every event in history.
-mulder adn scully call each other “honey” as a subtle reference to the bees they didnt let beat them.
-scully HATES cooking. like with a fathom. she never was good at it when her mother tried to teach them kids, and anything that she tries to make always turns to crap. so in those rare occasions when she does have to cook, mulder always waltzes into the kitchen with a cd player, drops it on the counter and grabs her hips from behind and dances her around the kitchen until the mood is lightened. their second child was conceived shortly after he pulled this shit.
-mulder kisses every injury scully has. paper cuts? kiss. rolled ankle on the stairwell? unfortunately it was only a kiss while he was down there.
-*mulder clutching scully’s hand, tears forming in his eyes as he whispers*: “i don’t know if my being here… will help bring you back. but i’m here”.
scully then wakes up and locks him out of the room. ‘im pregnant with your miracle baby and you’re commenting on me sleeping a lot????“
-if one is out of town, they’ll fall asleep talking on the phone. will’s learned by now to check the master bedroom before he goes to bed to make sure the phone hung up properly and they’re not gonna be charged out the wazoo for his parents stupid “platonic” relationship. to this day mulder’s convinced that the phone magically making its way to the stand is an x file. william doesnt correct him he finds it too funny.
-theres a bakery in the town they live in thats run by a little old lady who adores mulder and his children and his wife and helps him brainstorm romantic things to do for scully because she deserves it miriam, she jsut deserves it so much. the kids go there to do homework sometimes if its bad enough weather that they can’t walk home and the buses aren’t running. she always gives- “what do your parents call you, sweetie? uber-scully’s?”- always gives the uberscullys hot chocolate adn the coveted seat by the radiator.
-maggie is the one who taught the uber scullys how to play poker.
-his children always beg him to act normal for open houses and school plays adn shit, and so whenever the event occurs, mulder always wears his pink, Rob Petrie polo shirt and tells the kids to “go shovel the driveway, it builds character! you know kids school plays are a scam created by the government. drink a gallon of milk a day, william, it makes you grow chest hair adn that makes you manly. GO HYPER-MASCULINITY!!!” and they just have to stand there and suffer. “mom, dads being weird again we just said we wanted him to not talk about aliens.”
-mulder always gets really cut if skinner doesnt like his selfie. mulder’s not 100% sure what liking is -“will is it just when he texts me and tells me he likes it?”, “no he presses a button and it says he liked it.” “but how do i know.” “uuuuugggggghhhhhhhh dad he doesnt even follow you.” “wait how do you know that?” -and now, out of sympathy for his godchildren, skinner texts mulder to tell him he liked the selfie.
-they have a big bookshelf of sci-fi books in the study and he and scully take turns reading them to the kids, but occasionally he’ll be reading along adn find that a cryptid is spoken about inaccurately and mulder will just close the book and they pick another one. how dare they.
-the kids know the story of “bad blood” by heart and each take a different side. will thinks scully’s retelling is mostly correct but he definitely thinks hartwell had buckteeth.
-when their children were babies, scully would occasionally find mulder asleep next to the crib in a very uncomfortable position, with his hand through the bars and the lil uber scully is just clutching his finger for dear life.
-mulder has a thing about big fuzzy wool sock and anytime he gets them it makes his day
-scully broke the kids out of school once because a researcher that had been an asshole to her in med school had come to lecture in town and mulder was in a meeting with skinner nad she needed a mulder spawn with their father’s throwing arm to help her egg the guys car.
-mulder cant explain why a fuzzy pink sweater on scully turns him on so much, but it does. he gets it even worse when she wears it while traveling. “you okay mulder?” “not really and i dont know why…”
-william was so proud, he ran out of school and out to a payphone and called the hoover building collect just to tell scully that they read a paper she wrote in his science class and he didnt know how to tell the teacher that he could recite the thing from memory because dad had been reading this stuff to him since he was a baby
-both the uberscullies and mulder are those lemon people. like you go to a restaurant with someone, and theres a lemon wedge on the water glass. and then they take it off and eat it like an orange. but its a lemon. but they eat it.
-at a school dance, once they played “walking in memphis” and the scully children just exchanged looks adn groaned knowing what was about to happen.
-at movie theaters or restaurants or anything mulder and scully dont share soda cups or straws or anything, no “hey mulder can i have a sip?” because hes a filthy straw-chewer and scully doesnt approve until its later that night adn she realizes what talents came out of that oral fixation.
-bill scully jr wears socks on the beach.
-mulder, and the offspring who share his hair genes, have a longer hair preparation process than scully, but she doesnt complain because she likes stroking it so much.