im only gonna go out for one night

everyones acting like shiro would hate being ‘6’ but lets be real he would’ve utilized the shit out of it when he was at the garrison

- some garrison teacher: where’s ur homework shiro: sorry couldn’t do it im only 4 years old can’t even read words that big yet

- 100% eats out of one of those portion plates w the dinosaur designs on them and refuses to eat his meals on anything else but that

- matt: shiro its ur turn to take out the trash shiro: im 4 matt, no 4 year old can take out the trash some stranger will lure me into their white van with a lollipop. i am a young, naive 4 year old.

- takes naps in the middle of class and justifies by saying he’s technically a child and children need nap time, then begs matt to carry him back to the dorm after class is over

- shiro: i need you to help me with this
matt: im busy rn
shiro: i will throw the biggest temper tantrum of any 4 year old out there and you’re gonna have to be the one to take me on a long drive to calm me down unless you help me now

- only watches cartoon shows
• sings along really badly to every theme song
• shiro: matt ur the buster to my arthur / 
matt: im going punch u in the fuckin face

- shiro: i can’t go to sleep matt tell me a story matt: once upon a time there was a 4 year old and his name was fliro, fliro lived with his friend pat at their boarding school the marrison. one night fliro couldn’t go to sleep and wouldn’t shut the fuck up, he annoyed pat so much that pat was forced to shoot him into space. fliro lived out the rest of his life alone in space and pat got a good nights sleep. the end
shiro: i didn’t like that story tell me a new one

- garrison guidance counsellor (im assuming they have at least one): so shiro we’re here to discuss your future—
shiro, covering his ears: I AM FOUR

- onesies.

- shiro, taking a long sip out of his juice box, wearing one of those hats with the flaps that r so long they’re mittens too: did i ask for ur opinion

listen,,, if you leave six ninja on a flying boat for long enough they will come up with their own memes and inside jokes

  • “kai would hit on a sexy lamp”
    • one time lloyd dressed an actual lamp in a dress with a mini skirt and kai was so sleep deprived that he hit on it
  • when anyone does anything bad, they go sit in the corner of shame. theres a sign
  • saying lloyd is twelve no matter how old he gets
    • kai: sorry lloyd you cant come fight with us youre like twelve
      lloyd: im sixteen
    • jay: sorry lloyd you cant come clubbing with us you’re like twelve
      lloyd: ?? im twenty??
    • zane: i shouldnt use such big words, lloyd is only twelve
  • mix and matching parts of old uniforms and excusing it with “its called fashion”
  • making up parts that zane needs to keep up to date
    • nya: zane, is your thermalhydrothingabob functioning smoothly?
    • cole: zane’s been pretty slow lately, maybe his popcornjpgwhatsit is broken
    • lloyd: zane! better make sure your chickentron is updated!
  • stacking things on wu’s hat while he’s asleep. cole and nya are tied at 8
  • “morro made me do it”
    • this one is lloyd only and its definitely a coping mechanism so leave him be
      • lloyd: *breaks something* morro made me do it
      • kai: who ate the last cookie?
        lloyd: morro made me do it
      • jay: you look like you havent slept??
        lloyd: morro made me do it
    • pls go get therapy lloyd
  • green ninja competitions similar to the ones in season 1 where they decide who gets to be the green ninja. lloyd is the judge
  • if someone (usually jay or lloyd) starts a disney or dreamworks song, everyone has to join in
    • wu once walked in on lloyd and kai singing “the plagues” from prince of egypt with absolutely no context, and walked right back out
  • exaggerated non swearing around lloyd
  • *someone finds out a new piece of information” wonder what else sensei hasnt told us
  • their pizza order changes every night and its always terrible
    • “yo can i get a hawaiian pizza with pineapple and sardines, deliver to the destinys bounty”
    • “yah id like a none pizza with left beef deliver to the destinys bounty”
    • “can i have one slice of pizza, but, like, with every topping you have on it. deliver to the destinys bounty”
  • “alright im gonna go to the store”
    “only bad things happen when we split up”
  • “whats the weirdest place you can find lloyd asleep” competitions. dareth is the judge. its been weeks and lloyd has no idea
  • they copy old memes too
    • kai: im going to taco bell you want anything
      lloyd: i want my dad back
      kai: yah i got like 12 dollars
    • nya: jay was found dead in miami
      cole: is he okay
      nya: he’s alright but he’s dead
    • jay: remember to drink your respect women juice guys!
  • “the singles club” thats permanently occupied by lloyd and cole, and the others have all been part of it at some point. they have meetings.
  • “how dare you break color coordination” when anyone wears anything other than their usual color
  • “well, we kept kai”
    • variants include “well, we kept lloyd” and “well i kept all of you” (said by wu, once, and the others were in shock for ten minutes and then laughed for five minutes straight)
  • regarding nya as the best thing since sliced bread

So yesterday I was working phones at the Chinese restaurant I work at (this consists of taking take out and delivery orders mainly. Occasionally answering questions about the menu and stuff) and two things happened.
First: I had a guy order an entree then ask for a side of lo mein. Well, at least at my restaurant, we don’t offer sides of lo mein. Just steamed white or brown rice. I start to tell him that we dont offer what he’s asking for, and he interrupts me to tell me he orders it all the time and I should just do it. We argue back and forth for a minute or so and i make no progress. Finally i get my manager on the phone and she tells him the same thing I did, that we dont fucking offer lo mein as a side. Finally he moves on. Fuck that guy, he literally made what couldve been a 1 minute long conversation 5 minutes long. Not to mention I had calls on two other lines that both hung up. Dear god please listen to the employees and what they tell you, we do actually know what we’re doing.
Second: I happened to be the only person on phones this particular occasion, and it was a saturday meaning i would likely be talking to someone on one line and probably have at least one hold on another line at any given time. Whatever, this is normal for a saturday night. So as I’m taking someones order we get a call on another line, so I casually tell the woman ordering to hang on for a sec, I answer the other line and put it on hold, then go back to the woman’s line. As i start my “sorry, continue please” line, all i hear is this woman calling me annoying cause I have to put her on hold again (she was on hold for a minute or so before I got to her). Like sorry they only have one person on phones and people are calling in? Im not gonna let one call get dropped cause you have a giant ass order. Please don’t take it out on the worker when when they have to deal with customers other than you.
Anyway, fuck everyone who called in that night anyway, it was stressful and everyone sucked

Best friend Taehyung (V) includes:

Originally posted by bangtanroyalty

that little side smirk asjfkdajkf somebody end my life

  • lots of spontaneous (road) trips to literally anywhere
  • which you almost always regret going on cause you never actually properly pack essentials
  • meaning you almost always end up stranded in the middle of nowwhere with taehyung without any water or food or any money to buy said water and said food smh
  • dis boi also wild af
  • meaning he has a very “YOLO” mindset
  • whilst you on the other hand have a very “You Only Live Once so im not gonna waste my one chance at life doing something extremely stupid and/or dangerous” mindset
  • “we should totally go and play in the amusement park down the street, Y/N”
  • “but it’s closed.”
  • “so? it sounds like fun!”
  • “it sounds illegal.”
  • but you’re still always up to whatever he has planned
  • also turnt as fuck
  • will literally whip to anything
  • “Ya, this is so lit, Y/N”
  • “this is Beethoven’s Fur Elise, Taehyung ffs”
  • lazy movie nights when he’s not out seeking a thrill
  • y’all would actually have the cutest contact names for each other
  • lots! of! piggy! back! rides! courtesy of kim taehyung!!!
  • weekly sleepovers at each others houses
  • pillow fights; loser has to make breakfast the following morning
  • the cutest platonic friendship to have ever existed
  • so many hugs and little cheek kisses!!
  • and random “hey Y/N, I love you!”
  • hanging out and playing on the swings at the park despite the woman with their buggies giving you odd looks
  • awful rap battles between the two of you that make yoongi want to die
  • tickle fights 
  • teaming up to play pranks on the other members
  • running away from jungkook cause maybe drowning his face in whipped cream whilst he was napping wasn’t the best idea
  • late night calls ranging from dogs to “do you think pigeons have feelings?”
  • face derp offs that the members catch you doing and are like wtf
  • celebrating your birthdays like children cause neither of you are ready to accept the fact that you’re adults just yet
  • writing the longest paragraph on your birthday via text that leave you in tears
  • you showing up to his with a box full of arts and crafts on his birthday cause he just loves that sort of stuff
  • pinkie promising everything cause it helps Taehyung feel at ease
  • staying on the phone for however long he wants you to when he’s upset
  • or practically running to his place when he says he’d much rather have your company
  • and on days where he’s crying his heart and eyes out, you’ll put on some music in the background cause it calms him down
  • “ “please don’t leave, Y/N, not now”
  • and you’ll let him rest on your shoulder
  • “I won’t”
  • “promise?”
  • “I pinky promise”
american dream / hong jisoo (m)

Originally posted by edwardcheollen

genre; smut

characters; joshua/female, other mentions of female characters

req;  Hi omg could i request a joshua scenario when he comes home only to see you dressed up in a tight dress for a night out with your friends and he gets kind of turned on omg im sinning but thank you~

summary; you were gonna go out with your friends for a good time, but joshua can show you a better one

word count; 1,310

a/n; aah this has been sitting in my drafts for like a week but i finally got it done! it ended kinda weird but i hope you like it dear anon!

other notes; joshua tries to top, kinda switch, sex while on the phone, i apologize

Your phone buzzed, probably another text from one of your friends asking where you were, but even you knew you couldn’t leave without your house keys. Ready for a night out with your friends, you wore a tighter dress than usual, a black strapless one that ended around your knees. It was already late, and as you found your keys in between the couch cushions, you heard the lock click and the door open behind you.

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I’ve only got one life, Rose Tyler. I could spend it with you, if you want.

(inspired by x)

A girl we can't understand p3

movie: the maze runner
character: reader x newt

also starring: none 

plot: the girl of the glades still holding on to newt but she needs a shower and he has to guard the outside for her he gets bored and decided to find out what he can see.

rating:  smutty ;)

part 3/?

part 1     part 2
(Y/N) your name

still newts pov

i walk over to the showers with Y/N still holding on to me tightly till we get there to the showers its just a small hut with a shower in it “thank you newton” she says before going in and shutting the door as soon as i can hear the shower running i lean on one of the walls just checking every few seconds theres no one around and yep no one so i just lean back a bit more on the wall a bit bored of this when suddenly i hear a creek of wood obviously the wall so i get of it and turn theres a small hole now in the wall bloody builders never build stuff that will last i will admit it’s tempting to know the only girl in the glade is in there and no one else is around but should i, i mean im the only person here she trusts if she catches me she won’t trust anyone oh shuck it i step closer and look into the shower to see Y/N naked oh my god she’s breathtaking she’s so beautiful “uh” i say accidentally wow where did that come from i continue even though i shouldn’t looking into the shower at Y/N “oh baby” i say immediately putting my hand over my mouth what the bloody hell my mouth is working on its own why the hell am i making those noises i don’t understand till i look down  oh god klunk small well not small giantly noticeably problem down there what am i gonna do she’ll notice if i don’t do anything about it plus how am i gonna do anything about it as soon as she’s done in there she’ll cuddle me and go back to the room and sleep hugging me all night when am i gonna get the time to sort it out i’ve only got one choice im gonna have to sort it out while she’s in there okay but i have to be quiet this time no noises i look back into the shower at her “uh” i say before putting my hand back over my mouth to make sure Y/N isnt gonna hear me and catch me before i slowly run my free hand over my pants just staring at Y/N imagining my hands are her’s till i see something shocking Y/N in the shower touching herself bloody hell she’s lent against the wall her fingers inside her her eyes shut looking very happy i take that as my cue to start my work too unzipping my pants and pulling down slightly my boxers stroking softly just looking at her do that to herself “newton” she says wait go back a sec what was that “newton” she repeats perfect oh if only it wouldnt be strange if she could see me doing what im doing as i can see her doing what she’s doing both of us imagineing each other okay time of pick up the pase a bit but this time bitting my bottom lip so i dont talk i’ll leave the sounds to her as we both contiueing what we’re doing to ourselfs “newton, newton, newton” she squeels yeah im right here love trust me if it wouldnt make you hate me i would open that door and do that for you i cant tell we’re both pretty close till she opens her eyes and kocks on the wall beside her “newton” she says “newton are you there” she says oh she’s actully calling me that time “yeah” i say trying not to groan as i say it but i can tell she’s struggeling to talk properly too “newton can help me with a thingny” she asks oh god what does she mean if she says go in and help her fine get the door open love “sure what” i ask 

“i left my towel at room can you uh- azoko” she says don’t know what that means

“do you want me to get it Y/N” i ask

“eny” she says oh but miss this no way i wouldn’t miss this if someone gave me detailed instructions out the maze

“sure back in a bit” i say of course im not going anywhere just make her think i’ve gone and she starts again and so do i ill go get it when im done both of us moments away from our highs “newton” she moans oh Y/N your so perfect 

“newton mba miangavy re” from all this time i know that means please 

“mba miangavy re, mba miangavy re, mba miangavy re,mba miangavy re”she squeals oh love don’t freak im right here i can feel myself struggling not to climax and i can tell so is she “uh newton, newton, newton” she squeals oh baby when we get back to the room im teaching you some more stuff i swear it and not even a few seconds later she reaches her high so do i at the same time “NEWT” she screams in pleasure well for once she got my name right when it matters “Y/N” i shout klunk i couldn’t stop myself as i got to my high “what” she shouts back obviously not realising what for of shout it was 

“i- uh- i couldn’t find it where exactly is it love” i say trying to cover up the huge screw up 

“i left it on the bed” she says well i might as well actually go get it now i just hope i don’t miss anything good.

My Experiences With the Signs

Aries: We unofficially dated for a while. It was super fun while it lasted. We went on adventures (our first date was the zoo and we hella flirted on the sky car thing). But he was moving away for college and I knew he’d get distracted so I broke it off before he left. I think it broke both our hearts. I havent heard from him since.

Taurus: Both my dad (not birth dad) and little sister. He is such a kind hearted man. Exactly the father id always wanted. My sis is 4 and very sassy but I think that just comes with being 4.

Gemini: He was SUCH a bad kisser, not even lying. Theyre incredibly hard workers and always seem a little lost to me.

Cancer: Such emotional babies. Appreciate honesty in terms of being yourself and saying what you really think. I know this really problematic one who makes jokes that are mean and I always call him out on it and he’s like “im glad you tell me your real opinion”. Theyre the ones who start crying and tell you youre soooo pretty when theyre drunk.

Leo: Quiet when they want to be. Wont hear from one for days but when they text you again its like they never left. Almost always seem to have a secret agenda though when they talk to you, like theyre really trying to get at something else. I dont work as well with these people. Games arent my thing. I need people to be blunt and straightforward to really follow whats going on, but then I AM a naive baby, so

Virgo: Literally the sweetest most lovely people oh my goodness. So cute. Mostly weeaboos. Ive pretty consistently had Virgos for best friends throughout my life. These are the people I go to when I need to vent because they listen intently and give advice. Even if they arent sure, they will sympathize with you and make you feel better. Also I kissed a girl once and she’s a Virgo. Hot. Awkward lil flower :* still hot though

Libra: I dated one for a very long time. Sort of in secret for a while, since my parents hated him. He was my first. I loved him at the time and things were great. But he constantly tried to tell me what to wear???? And how my hair should look and stuff???? What a poop. Anyway when I tried to break up with him, he told me I just wasnt trying enough in our relationship and emotionally backed me into a corner. I ended up cheating on him when we were on a break. With Aries.

Scorpio: Deep thinkers. Book lovers. So so sweet and misunderstood. I feel like they really want to talk but they want you to start the conversation and then just let them go and theyll talk and talk and tell you things you never thought of before. Very peaceful to be around. Getting stoned with them is so fun and you end up talking about souls and ethereal things.

Sagittarius: Another old best friend. I had a crush on her for a while. The rest of our squad agreed that it sucked to be single when she was single cuz everyone went after her. Lots of us look up to her still. VERY real VERY fun VERY loving and sweet. Will rub paint on your face and tickle your armpits.

Capricorn: Me. Others I know are dramatic when they let their emotions show. One is very rapidly becoming an alcoholic. Very “go big or go home”. If theyre gonna do something theyre gonna fuckin do it right the first time. Life is short, if they take a chance theyre going all out. If they have a passion or a goal they are SUPER into it and wont give up.

Aquarius: My bf so sorry if this one is biased. (We’re very much in love. Im going to marry him.) Anyway I only know a few. Theyre quiet at first, but if you make the effort to get to know them, theyll take it and theyll open up to you. You might hear things you werent prepared for. The bf and I used to go on late night drives and find a chill spot to park and just talk about everything. Including aliens and a lot of “what if"s. Now we live together and mostly tickle each other and play fight. “Tell me a story” happens quite a lot. It used to be “tell me a secret” but we uncovered all of those a while back.

Pisces: I only know two of them. One is a friend of the bf’s and she is SO very gentle and sweet. She’s smart and seems to love everyone. Scary stuff in the news really makes her sad. The other is my mom. My mom and I used to be best friends. For a long time she was a single mom and we were living in an apartment together and things were great and we were super close. Then I became a sassy teenager I guess and she ended up blocking me out and she’s become this “control freak” who emotionally manipulates me. She literally went behind my back to ask my friends what i was up to all throughout highschool. Gets mad at me for “not trying enough as a family member”. Literally refused to let me see my own sister for about 8 months. Which is a big deal because she’s so little. It meant i missed out on a lot of her early growing up. My mom has Borderline Personality Disorder but wont admit it. We dont have a good relationship anymore and it makes us both sad I think.

 tagged by @hollywoodcassiecage (thank u!!!)

rules: tag ten followers you want to get to know better!

name: tereza

nicknames: terka, terez

gender: nonbinary

star sign: gemini

height: like 169 cm (im gonna flip if i dont reach 170)

sexuality: bisexual

hogwarts house: ravenclaw (or slytherin, depends on who you ask)

fave animal: cats (+ crows, ravens, peacocks, borzois, frogs)

average hours of sleep: 0-4 on school nights, 4-8 on weekends 

(actually i just went two days on only three hours of sleep and after blacking out twenty times in a minute i decided to go to sleep early and slept for eight hours and now i feel very alright)

current time: 11:35

dog or cat person: cats all the way

blankets you sleep with: 2

dream trip: boi this one is lenghty because it made me realize stuff

i literally cannot think of one place in the world id actually love to visit. like some places are really pretty and make for amazing pics but im that kind of guy that doesnt like to leave their hometown for long. the first day of arriving somewhere foreign is always fun but the next day i get extremely cranky and depressed. not to mention theres nothing worse than trips in groups. if i have to spend another vacation just following around other people whenever and wherever they decide to go, waiting for ppl who got lost, depriving myself of breaks and adventure so im not the one they have to wait for, or listening to ppl argue over where to go next im gonna kms

so the ideal trip for me is just a several hours long walk around my town, exploring trails, climbing on stuff, taking pictures of weird/pretty things i find, balancing on railtracks, basically getting to choose where i go and what i do. also it cant be too hot or too sunny, just enough for a parka and a pair of farmer boots. and i need to be scared for my life at one point or another or else it aint really fun. if im honest no vacation ever has made me feel as much at peace as a solitary walk in the woods 😗

dream job: i think id be just fine getting any job that i dont hate as long as it makes enough money for me to do what i actually want in my spare time. but i forget this fact often since literally every fucking adult around me just wont shut up about how important college and a promising career are when neither of them actually does what they wanted OR studied for. its as if just because i get okay grades means having a career is my dream. maybe no job is my dream job tbfh

when i made my blog: june 2014 i think

followers: 311

why i made a tumblr: for MBTI content

reason for my url: wanted some original name for myself, am thinking of changing it again though

tagging @pastelfrood, @eiricthemammoth, @creekycoffee!

so I got asked this earlier and this is my ridiculously lengthy response about how the adoribull hate is bullshit and you all need to do some research

putting this under a read more for obvious reasons. please do not read this and tell me im full of shit because I legit have five tabs open with all their banters and interactions in relation to this ok I know what im talking  about

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Hen Night


I would like to request a newt x reader smut where reader goes to a bachelor party for Teresa’s wedding to thomas and newt sneaks inside the bachelor to make sure she won’t cheat thomas if she gets drunk. But he gets drunk and makes out with reader.

notes : sorry for the first bits , instead of “ i did the first part during a free period at collage when i had nothing better to do

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yea i guess u could say i have a more obscure taste in music...

while you were busy listening to “laddy gaga” and “a beetle”, i have a playlist that only consists of resonance by home and glue70′s ‘casin’ and they play on repeat for an eternity and those songs are the only ones i know . who are you get out of my cave

man, naruhina actually becoming canon was a hot mess but i’ll tell you guys the fun revelation of when i was pretty certain that it was canon

SO IT Was kind of a confusing moment!! i was very quiet but my mind was racing. i couldn’t really jump around (we were in the common room) so i kind of sat there for a while and blogged the words i couldn’t say

eventually my friends noticed me being goofy or somethin and trying to swallow down smiles and asked what was up. i was reluctant cause i’m really cagey about anime irl, but i eventually spilled 

“I… I think my OTP is canon.”

“Which one? The a-bay-miho one?”

“nO not not that one. Um…”

“Oh! The nay-roo-hina?”



ykno then i was really giddy for the rest of the night i think i only got 4 hours of sleep.

then ykno the trailer came out (which i watched sooo many times when it came out dang) and “saigo no monogatari wa, hajimete no ai.” and then kishi explicitly saying it’s of romantic love. i was like “………this movie going to be naruhina,,., getting a naruhina movie. holy fuckin shit..”

so yes i was an blissfully excited little weeaboo egg

[gonna get a lil negative under the cut about the end of the manga so if you want to enjoy my genuine giddiness about my lovely otp, stop here!]

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