im oddly proud of this

The Rick-Father

Not a God-Father AU, Just a Mafia one. Written with my lovely @the-clairvoyant-rick ‘s help. Because she makes everything better <3

Motherfucking Rick Sanchez the mob boss of a huge crime syndicate. One so notorious and so well known it controls the better part of America. Rick known in every household because he’s been on every news station at least once. He’s famous, he’s ruthless, and he’s REAL rich.

Beth is his precious daughter, and she’s grown up in this world of drugs and shady deals. She’s completely use to drug deals and shoot outs, she’s had to do a bit of dirty work herself. She’s a good woman, a hardworking mother, and ruthless in her own twisted ways. She stands by her father even after witnessing him crush a mans skull.

Useless husband Jerry is Beth’s boy toy to some extent. After knocking Beth up he found himself at the business end of Rick’s handgun. He was in Rick’s opinion lucky Beth deemed him worthy enough to be married into the family.

Spoiled Summer who knows what her grandpa does but doesn’t complain. She’s popular at school and has everything her heart desires. But don’t be fooled, she takes after her mom.

And then we have Morty. Rick’s prodigy. Rick knows he’s only human, knows sometime he’s gonna die. And so Rick chooses Morty to be his successor. And from a young age has been grooming him. Everyone is of course surprised that Morty is the successor. Because the boy is as limp and intimidating as a wet noodle. He’s thin and shy and he stutters and everybody just kinda shakes their head thinking that Rick is making a huge mistake but Morty ends up becoming more ruthless and bloodthirsty and calculating than Rick ever was.

Rick drags Morty everywhere, the kid witnesses more shoot outs and cover ups then anyone should at such a tender age. But he gets use to the dead bodies and the blood. The dirty cops and piles of cocaine and meth don’t even make him think twice. Morty shoots a man between the eyes for the first time when he’s 15 because the son of a bitch tried to get his grandpa caught and NO ONE. Messes with his grandpa.

But of course Morty has his growing pains as he trains to take his grandpa’s place. He gets busted doing something illegal by one of the rare cops in the city that refuse to be bribed or intimidated and the entire syndicate is worried because Morty knows everything. He’s only seventeen and he knows more about Rick and their organization than anybody. And the police know this. They drill him hard. Over and over and they aren’t gentle. They bend the rules and rough him up and try to get information out of him but Morty is just a stone. He even goes as far as to spit in one of the officer’s faces when they say something about Rick. And when he goes to trial. The entire family is nervous and they’re all there. Watching the trial. Even Rick is there. But Morty says nothing. He gives away nothing, not a single look of panic or anything and Rick has never been more proud.

Morty getting “killed” while in prison but word on the street soon spreads that its nothing but a con. Mortys back as his Grandpas right hand man in less then a month. Ricks impressed because Morty staged his death and escape by himself and the kid becomes a legend. Everyone knows about the con and every time the tail grows it gets bigger. Soon Morty may as well be death himself.

Years down the road. Rick retires after a while and hands the reigns over to Morty but eventually he dies, leaving every single thing he owned to Morty in his will. All the secrets. His little black book. Everything. Everything single pie Rick ever had his finger in, every owed favor, every debt, it all belongs to Morty and with Rick’s death comes the loss of Morty’s compassion. He was merciless before but he was always a bit softer than Rick. He was willing to forgive, to let things slide here and there, to take small risks to keep others alive but when Rick dies so does that scrap of childlike innocence. Morty takes up the mantel and stands just as tall as his grandfather. He runs the syndicate like a startlingly effective business. He kills without mercy. He drives it in new directions that even Rick had never dared to tread, expanding, starting wars until he becomes the single most feared mob boss in history.

But Morty is always careful. He respects Ricks only rule, to keep the family safe. So no matter how far Morty goes he makes sure the family cant be touched that there sitting pretty through hell and high water. Rick had two rules: Never risk the family and never fuck around with drugs. And Morty abides by those rules to his dying breath. He keeps his family above all the bloodshed. They’re living in luxury. Rick paid for Summer’s college long ago bit Morty buys her a new car once a year and her house is paid for in full with anything she could ever hope to want. His mom has the best of everything Gucci bags and Prada shoes and the best makeup money can buy. He helped pave the way for her to become Surgeon General. And Jerry.. He doesn’t particularly like his dad, not when Rick was so much more of a father than he ever was, especially with how spineless Jerry is but he still keeps him happy. Jerry is part of a golf club and a chef for a nice restaurant that Morty makes a point to visit at least once a month.

And eventually he gets a wife of his own, a pretty and overly ruthless redhead named Jessica that has a taste for blood nearly as deep and deprived as his own. And they have two children, just as his mom before them, one of which he names after his grandfather, the man who gave him absolutely everything. Years down the line when his son Rick is old enough, Morty makes the same decision his grandpa did all those years ago. It’s time to start training the successor.

And so the cycle continues…

Teru: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you have lost throughout your life.

Shou: It would be nice to get my sense of purpose back.

Mob: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.

Reigen: My will to live! I haven’t seen this in 17 years!

Ritsu: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Serizawa: Mental stability, my old friend!

Knife to Meet You

Toriel teaches Sans how to bake. It’s a normal day for them both. Nothing can go wrong.

Fandom: Undertale
Characters/Pairing: Sans/Toriel
Rating: G
Mirror Links: AO3, FF.net
Notes: Written for this prompt by @myrobotlandlord​ as a quick story. :) Was meant to be shorter but why would that ever happen?


Sans is a quick learner, in all seriousness here. When the lady behind the door detailed to him the recipe for the butterscotch pie, it only took him an extra try or two to bake the treat without burning the filling, and only forgetting the milk that one time. Sometimes he does cheat a little, buying the premade pie crusts instead of making his own from scratch. But he’ll try anything once, and had gone through the ordeal of mixing the butter, beating up the dough, and even putting in the little details to the edges of the crusts for fun – by stamping his bro’s miniature skull-shaped cookie cutter that he used for his lasagnas. Essentially, Sans didn’t actually need pie-baking lessons.

“so like, you put in the flour, the salt, and the parmesan cheese, right?”

Toriel playfully plunked his skull with a rubber spatula, her muzzle upturned in a grin. “Of course not! You must mix the flour, the salt, and the sugar for the pie crust. And then you add the butter!”

“sugar, cheese, yeah i always get those confused.”

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