im not sure if this is gonna come out right again

anonymous asked:

"crazy detention stories"...go

They’re really not that crazy I don’t think but fine- but as I had detention at least once a week for 3 years you’re only getting the highlights here:

  • So again, I only ever got detentions because I was late to school basically every day. Every single day, the office wrote me a late slip with my name spelled horrendously wrong. Different spelling every day. The most famous butchering was writing my name as “Millie Hoagie”. On my very last day of high school, I was predictably late, and they spelled my name perfectly correctly.
  • So listen my ‘reputation’ in school was basically “quiet good girl who’s never done anything wrong, ever, in her life” and “teacher’s pet” and the like. And despite the fact I was there every time all the ‘Bad Kids™’ who were also always in detention were always incredibly surprised to see me??? Like they never got over it. Every time I walked into the damn room at least half the class would be like “MOLLY YOU DON’T BELONG HERE YOU’RE INNOCENT!!” 😂
  • Also despite the fact I was basically invisible in the school as a whole all the trouble makers knew me by name because, and I quote a kid from my 10th grade Spanish class who was trying to hook up with me at the time here, “Guys like me are afraid of you, Girl, we’re just plain out scared that we gonna corrupt you!” and I still don’t know what he actually meant by that???
  • Bu anyway, this apparent rep usually gave me an upper hand with the teachers monitoring the detentions. Because, you know, some were fine, some were bitchy, some were insane. But all of them were pissed about the fact they had to be there instead of heading home.
  • The rules of detention were literally just ‘stare at the wall and don’t talk’, depending on which teacher they might let the students do homework. But since I was apparently a great person and always had the class’ incredulous response to me being in the room, they usually let me get away with sleeping or reading a book lol.
  • Of course…no one said any of the other kids were inclined to following the rules lmao. These were like, all the class clowns™ shoved into one room. Things always got real funny real fast.
  • It would always start off with the coughing game. If you’ve ever stepped into a school you should know what that is.
  • It would then escalate to everyone in the room playing catch whenever the teacher looked away for a brief moment
  • Detention was always in the health classroom so someone always tried to steal a limb off the skeleton without being to obvious
  • Some teachers would let people talk ‘quietly’ so jokes were fucking abound
  • One time I was minding my own damn business and a kid slides me a note saying ‘in like five minutes ask to go to the bathroom but head downstairs to the English wing’ before he snuck out without the teacher noticing. I get down there and he’s at one end of the hallway and another boy is at the other end. Upon seeing me, these boys run full speed down the hall at each other, leap up in the air when they get to the direct center, high five with full force, both scream in pain, and then hit the floor, clutching their hands. I was cracking the fuck up and trying to convince them to go to the nurse but they wouldn’t listen. I asked the guy why the hell they did that. He told me ‘because we wanted a witness and no one will ever believe you’ 😂😂
  • One time my sorta-neighbor Mike comes in and the teacher asked why he had detention and apparently, the principal had asked him where to find his friend Jose, and Mike responded “he’s out picking cotton” and the principal flipped out at what he perceived to be a racist joke and gave him a month detention. But the thing was, Jose was in an agriculture class and he was literally outside picking cotton that they had planted there earlier. Jose found it fucking hilarious and refused to tell the principal to get his friend out of trouble.
  • As I haven’t been inside a school building for quite some time now I don’t know if turtling is still a thing but it was…quite an epidemic for my senior class.
  • It’s when you turn someone’s backpack inside out right? But it was a full blown war with these kids. Trust no one. Never leave the room. Never look away. Holy shit. One of the best moments of this occurred in detention, when a boy reached to get a book out of his backpack to find it was gone. After 15 minutes of searching the room, he found it, turtled, hidden in a filing cabinet in the front of the room. Everyone, including the teacher, was loosing their shit, because how did someone pull that off so quietly and invisibly without someone noticing??? No one fessed up. The class was in fear of the turtle ninja for the rest of the month, but they never struck again. No one ever discovered who it was.
  • Guys: It was me.
  • One time it was raining and the teacher was in a bad mood so he insisted all the windows stay open. He left for a bathroom break or something and this one poor kid, who was now completely soaked as he was stuck with a window seat, just said “fucking bye” and just…climbed out the damn window. Left his backpack and everything. Didn’t see him again for at least a month.
  • There was one guy who always sold ice cream out of his bag when the teachers weren’t looking. Where he was getting it from and how it stayed frozen is beyond me.
  • Oh my God sometimes all the indie singer kids would just come and sit on the floor outside the classroom and talk loudly to annoy us??? The hell were they trying to accomplish??? Your singing ain’t special and you won’t be famous, please let us die in peace.
  • One kid had detention because when we were running laps in gym class he jumped up to hit the arch of the ceiling and accidentally set off the fire alarm. The teacher that day insisted on continuously referring to him as ‘the delinquent’, as if no one else in the room had broken the rules or something
  • One time one of the gym teachers was in charge of it and long story short he started doing the jersey turnpike. True horror.
  • One time the teacher got a call and she had to go down to the office and the second she was gone this one kid’s friend runs in with a huge tray going “Y’ALL I STOLE THE LASAGNE CUPCAKES FROM THE FOOD AND NUTRITION CLASSROOM” and we dined like kings.
  • Everyone would sometimes just break out in song for no God damn reason
  • One time one of the guys in charge of the detention was A) Not someone anyone recognized as a teacher and B) Potentially Stanley Tucci. Like…I was about 80% certain that this guy was Stanley Tucci.
  • He refused to confirm or deny or even give a name
  • One time I was really absorbed in my book when all the sudden a letter flew onto my desk, an anonymous sender that just said “You have a soft, sexy voice.” Neither of which is true, I’m pretty sure, and I could not for the life of me figure out who sent it omfg
  • One time a teacher was freaking out because he went to a psychic over the weekend and was told there was a lot of activity around him so I looked him straight in the eyes and told him I’m a medium and I can see that the devil had marked his soul and he threw me out of the room and refused to take that class for detention ever again😂
  • It was a hot summers day. The ceiling fans were on their highest setting. A boy nudges me, with a small carton of ice cream in his hands under his desk. “What do you think would happen if I scooped out a huge chunk of this and threw it at the fan?” he whispered. “Jamil, no.” I pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears. Soon, the room was filled with confused screams.
  • Apparently all the other regulars™ had bought me candy grams around Christmas time so they were confused when I showed up to detention with no candy and apparently the student council member sent them all to the other Molly in the grade because she was the popular one and this lead to about 12 boys grumbling for two and a half hours like “The one damn time I attempt to be a gentleman” and “I know where she lives” and “Gonna gingerbread her fucking locker” I could not stop laughing
  • Oh God okay one time the teacher we had was literally. Off the charts.
  • Like there’s the chill teachers, and then the bitchy teachers. And then this lady. She literally reminded me of Stubel
  • So I didn’t even know who she was but I walk in and do my shy smile/quiet ‘hello’ thing and take out my book so she immediately zeros in on me as ‘the good kid’ as usual
  • But she literally seemed to think every other person in this class was a hardened criminal holy shit. She was all over the place barking orders and yelling. And of course, you’ve got a room full of class clowns, like they feed off teachers like this. So the madder she got the more ridiculous they got. I was literally almost in tears trying to force myself not to laugh because I didn’t want to risk her turning on me omfg
  • So she yelled and flailed about the room and they kept going with jokes and paper wasps and lying about their names and just doing literally every thing they could possibly do so this woman wouldn’t have the chance to rest
  • This escalated with every minute and came to a resounding end when the teacher decided the Australian Kid™ was chewing gum and picked up the trashcan and shoved his face in it, screaming at him to spit it out as he yelled back “YOU’RE ONLY DOING THIS BECAUSE IM AN IMMIGRANT
  • he was in charge of all the bullshit that day and it was hysterical but he wasn’t the one chewing gum loudly that was me
  • The vp came in to see what all the yelling was about to find a teacher shoving a boy’s head in the trash, one boy shirtless as another drew tattoos on him, the phone off the line with it’s cord wrapped around a kid’s neck, two boys dueling with skeleton arms, one kid with her leg out the window, a kid tying a skeleton foot to the ceiling fan, rubber bands and paper wasps flying from every angle, three people turtling backpacks, someone brandishing an epi-pen, sexual hangman being played on the chalkboard, someone eating ice cream and fanning himself with money, and me, crying into my book with my hand literally bleeding from all my efforts to not laugh at what I was witnessing
  • We never saw her in detention again😂
  • My one younger friend got a detention for being late and was really shaken up about it and I tried to tell her she’d be fine but then she got caught sliding me chocolate animal crackers during it, and subsequently got another detention because of this; somehow I was not viewed as an equally guilty party and didn’t get in trouble
  • This one guy came in complaining “You guys all told me to get a twitter and I get thrown in twitter jail my first day!” “That’s like a thousand tweets in one day, how the fuck did you mange that?” “Bitch I had a lot to say about McDonalds!”
  • One teacher came in and was like “I don’t feel like helping with homework but does anyone wanna learn how to hack a computer?”
  • Someone got caught pouring water out the window but when the teacher looked to see why she saw the youngest of the goats™ standing under the window with it’s mouth open waiting for more
  • One time the teacher wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom and after I asked for like the 5th time he said “It can’t be that important!” so I just pulled a pad out of my backpack and silently sat it on my desk while glaring at him and this 40 year old man looked like he was about to pass out and he finally let me go
  • I remember our final detention of senior year we were told that if we skip it we can’t graduate so everyone went into that room with a ridiculously nostalgic attitude and one guy finally stole the skull off the skeleton and we fucking tossed it around the entire time while singing and blatantly ignoring the teacher’s complaining lmao
  • I know there’s more but it’s 7am and this is long so all in all like…I do not miss high school but some memories are bearable lmao
how to stay productive

i rly srsly have a problem with this especially after school ))): like im always on tumblr or something so i never get anything done rip

so im gonna try to practice what i preach from now on!!! lets get into it!

preparing for productivity

  • when you get home from school or work, give yourself a 20-50 minute break. lets be honest we all have those days when we try to jump right into doing whatever the heck you need to do right when you get home but after like 20 minutes you’re distracted and a mess and not getting any work done. the easy way to prevent this is to give yourself time to do all of that before you start your work so you’re not distracted later (give urself an hour if its been an especially long day). eat a snack, wash ur face tbh, whip your hair, idk what you crazy kids do but do it. srsly. just get it out of the way.
  • get everything ya need in one place. this is kinda a no-brainer especially since it’s all over tumblr. but srsly why get up every 5 minutes to get a pencil or something? just have it all in the first place. ez.
  • turn off your phone or put it in airplane mode. personally i like to pretend like im so determined and focused but every time i see the little t at the top of my phone im just gone. don’t let it distract you. if you need the internet, use your laptop/computer for less distractions.
  • set the mood. idk what you do, whether thats playing the moana soundtrack hanging up fairy lights, putting on your diffuser or playing rap music; idk man! do it.

actually doing the thing

  • alright so now u got ur fairy lights, ur mildliners, ur face washed, and ur apple juice (??? apple juice is lit???). now throw yourself into it. literally just force yourself to do it. don’t know how??? welll!!! not sure how to help you! (no im kidding don’t leave yet pls)
  • use the touch it once rule. this is a favorite of the studyblr community. it means that everything on your to-do list, everything you know you need to accomplish– start it. just tell yourself “i’ll only do 3 math problems” or “i’ll only work on this resume for 5 minutes”. they say the hardest part is always starting. chances are, that unfinished worksheet is going to really bother you and you’ll end up finishing it. if not, then just come back to later and touch it again and again until you finish it. tedious, but it works.
  • use the “two minute rule”. i got this one from @emmastudies! this rule means that if anything on your list takes 2 minutes or less to do (checking your emails, checking your tumblr inbox or something), do it. just get it done.
  • keep it balanced. do like one easy task and then one hard task so you’re getting everything done but not overwhelming yourself either.
  • break down your tasks. don’t just look at a giant task like “write a 3-page paper”. break it down into smaller subtasks like “plan paper. draft paper. edit paper. type and print paper.” its much less scary to look at.
  • visualize procrastination as a monster. i do NOT take credit for this one; i saw it in a masterpost somewhere so this isnt mine!!! but basically i read that you should look at procrastination as a scary opponent ready to eat you alive (and honestly it is). tackle it. don’t let it attack. be so scared of it that you don’t let it get anywhere near you.
  • honestly just do it and keep at it. stop letting procrastination kick your ass so that you can be productive and stay productive. the work is it’s own reward (:
bad | 07

  He was the cliché bad boy. He was the guy you couldn’t stand. He was the handsome, hot kid who made girls go weak in the knees. He was a brat. You had never liked him one bit, but you had also never gotten involved with anything concerning him. Until one day, when you were in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Originally posted by mvssmedia

MEMBER: jeon jungkook x reader (ft. kim taehyung)

GENRE: smut, romance, fluff

WORDS: 10 243

WARNINGS: mature & sexual content, profanity, dirty talk & other filth

| 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08coming soon

A/N: please beat my ass for taking over a fucking month with this. hopefully it was worth the wait tho ;). writing this killed me.

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instant gratification 02 (m)

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

➾11.6k words
➾ lots of smut, some fluff, a little angst (just like this gif)
➾ warnings: pregnancy mention
➾ summary: the rules of becoming fuck buddies are as follows: no strings attached, don’t play jealousy games, and strictly no cuddling after sex. On a scale of how-fucked-are-you from one to ten, Jeon Jeongguk has you on a 9, in more ways than one.


Jeon Jeongguk, on top of being the nastiest fuckboy who just happens to have some good dick, is a childish brat. 

Parties are so not your thing, and you feel like a fish out of water in the midst of so many scantily clad girls and barely sober frat boys. You’ve been grabbed at least 5 times now, only managing to narrowly escape their clutches the last time, and you have to fight to keep your patience as you try and spot his big head in the overcrowded frat house. You wouldn’t be here if not for his not so thinly veiled threat over text.

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anonymous asked:

I wish you would write an outsider POV Sterek, maybe from their neighbor's POV?

This is embarrassing.

Holy, fuckmuffins, this is embarrassing. She should not do this. She should turn around and go back home. She should just be at home. Forever. She can order groceries from Amazon and socialize with people over the internet and she thinks she could be very happy to just live at home. It would be fun. 

Also, she would be alive. Because she is not sure she will be after all is said and done. 

She gets to their door and then seriously considers just turning around. It would make her a fundamentally bad person but she could be okay with that. 

Ugh.

No she can’t.

She takes a deep breath, wishes that Jenny wasn’t at her father’s this weekend because maybe a cute little four year old would help, and then knocks anyway. On her next door neighbor’s door. 

It had to be her next dooor neighbor. Someone who she will probably have to see again. 

And, of course, Murder Man opens it. He is already glaring at her.

He is going to kill her

“Hello?” he asks and she realizes she has just been standing there. Staring. Which, like fair, he is gorgeous but mostly she’s staring because it is just now occurring to her that she should have told someone where she is going before just coming over to share this bad news. 

“H-hi,” she says finally. “My name is Tammy and I live in number 406–right next door actually and I-I’m so sorry but I’ve just… I’ve just scratched your car.”

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anonymous asked:

like, imagine eddie working in a 24/7 convinience store during the night shift (like,,, 11pm-4am) and richie is a regular that just comes in the weirdest hours and buys the most bizarre combo of items and is always trying to flirt w eddie making puns with whatever items hes buying and eddie lowkey likes it (cue stan rolling his eyes)

lmaooo yes yes yes!!

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comprehensive analysis of sam & cap meeting for the first time
  • ‘oh hey look how fast i can run look how fast and cool i am look at me’
  • cap is wearing a t shirt 2 sizes 2 small that may as well be soaking wet come the fuck on cap put on some fucking clothes
  • i can’t hear anything steve is saying over his flexing
  • ‘what unit u with? where u work? what’s ur name? u got a boyfriend? where yo boyfriend at?’
  • flimsy excuse to hold hands (’oh help me up from this tree i’m so tired i can’t possibly get up by myself’)
  • sam immediately all ‘must be weird coming home after the whole defrosting thing’ like wow personal much? buy a guy a drink first
  • steve is like ‘uh ya it’s weird that’s personal buy a guy a drink first’ and goes to leave
  • sam: -anguished expression- oh god i fucked it up
  • sam:

damn it sam save it! save it! don’t let him go! -says the first thing that pops into his head-

  • steve like

‘what the fuck buy a guy several drinks first?’

  • sam: your bed, it’s too soft. when I was over there I’d sleep on the ground, use rocks for pillows, like a caveman.

steve:

  • what
  • sam: -explains what the fuck he’s talking about, beds are too soft, etc etc etc’
  • steve: ohhhh the marshmallow bed thing? ya i get that. fucking soft beds right haha -is apparently into the whole caveman thing-
  • sam: nice, saved it -high fives self-
  • steve: -demonstrates how Knowledgeable he is and how much Perspective he has and how Funny he can be’ we use to boil everything!!!!
  • steve literally sounds like one of those beauty queens having a question sprung on her that she didn’t expect
  • ‘Miss New York how does the world of today compare to the days of world war 2??? 30 seconds on the clock’
  • ‘no polio is good’
  • ….’no polio is good’….
  • ‘we used to boil everything!!!’
  • somehow sam is still cool with this. it’s probably bc steve has mouth-watering melon pecs
  • Sam Makes His Move

you can tell this is his Move. he tells this to all the ladies. there’s no way you can get someone listening to marvin gaye and not get laid instantaneously

  • steve doesn’t know what the fuck sam is talking about but this is a great excuse to show off his arms by pulling out his little notebook

are you looking at those arms sam?? bc i am

  • btw
  • this

this is the face of a man who is DTF

  • ‘Miss New York, what are the most significant historical events and cultural changes that have occurred since world war two?? 30 seconds on the clock’
  • ‘uhh…. I Love Lucy. Moon Landing. Berlin wall… up and down. Steve Jobs…. apple….???? Disco. Definitely. Thai food. Star Wars and Trek. Nirvana… I’m pretty sure that’s a band. Rocky and Rocky 2. And whatever this guy just told me. idk I’ll look it up on the Google later’
  • ‘all right Sam, duty calls. Thanks for the run…… if that’s what you want to call running.’
  • ‘Oh, that’s how it is??’
  • ‘Ohhh that’s how it is.’
  • this is better flirting than i have ever implemented in my nearly ten long years after hitting puberty
  • ‘Hey anytime you want to stop by my place of employment that I told you explicitly within minutes of meeting you but now I’m bringing up again to make sure you remember where I work and where to find me again, make out with me me look awesome in front of the girl at the front desk, just let me know’
  • Steve: hella B)
  • nat: -rolls up-
  • nat:
husband highs — t.h

Originally posted by tsseract

author’s note: GUYS IM SCREAMING because i hit 1k and wow i just wanted to thank you guys by posting something. i love YOU THANK YOU FOR READING MY STUFF and since i never leave a link to my masterlist i thought i should this time so here it is.  → masterlist


  • tom would be the most extra fiance ever like he wouldn’t ever not talk about how he’s engaged to the most beautiful girl ever
  • LOL WHO AM I KIDDING HE’D SAY YOU GUYS ARE MARRIED
  • especially in interviews like he’d be on press tour to promote his movie and the interviewer would slip in a congratulatory and tom would be like
    • “thank you, thank you so much, really. i’m happy, my wife is amazing”
  • and the interviewer would be like tf i thought this kid was engaged
    • “it says here you announced your engagement yester-”
    • “WE’RE MARRIED”
  • and you’d always tell tom that he couldn’t go around telling people you two were married when you two JUST GOT ENGAGED
  • it was sending mixed signals everywhere
  • especially since tom liked to wear a ring on his wedding finger
  • he’d just wanted everyone to know that he was taken because if you had a ring showing the entire world that you were his, why couldn’t he have one to show off he was yours???
  • it was the cutest thing ever and it never failed to make you smile whenever you saw his hand 
  • anyways since he had to finish filming a movie and do a press tour you guys decided that your wedding would be after he finished both
  • that’s probably one of the reasons he couldn’t shut up about you to everyone because he was SO EXCITED
  • while he was away he’d always facetime you
  • sometimes he’d be so hyper
    • “HI MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL GUESS WHAT TODAY IS??
    • “it’s the second-”
    • “THAT’S RIGHT WE GET MARRIED IN 184 DAYS”

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I knew you were trouble

Originally posted by riverdalesource

Sweet pea x reader

Summary; You’re a northsider on southside territory and get yourself in ‘trouble’

Warnings; choking, anal, spanking, dirty talk, slightly dub-con, very dominant Sweet Pea

A/N; an anon requested some rough Sweet Pea and that’s exactly what you got so say your prayers and prepare for this unholiness 😏 (honestly, this could’ve been more rough but I’m happy with this so maybe a second part that’s even filthier?) PART 2



Going to a bar alone at night on the southside of Riverdale was not such a good idea. Especially when you’re a northsider.

Everything happening in Riverdale right now was just too much to handle so a moment alone with a drink sounded perfect. Even if the only place you could get a drink was the Whyte Wyrm.

The bar was kinda crowded but fortunately, you had found a table in a secluded corner and no one paid attention to you. Or so you thought.


After your second drink, you weren’t drunk but the strong alcohol was starting to create a small buzz so you didn’t notice the tall boy approaching you.

“Now is not the best time for a northsider to be in the southside, Y/N, is it?”, a deep voice came from behind you and you turned in surprise to see Jughead’s friend, Sweet Pea and a couple of his minion friends. You had met him a few times and he was good looking but that was about it.

“And why is that?”, you asked, trying to keep your voice steady under the boys intense stare.

“Just because your boy declared war between us”, he explained with an emotionless face.

“The mayor’s not a boy and I wouldn’t call this situation a war”, you told him, trying to focus back on your drink.

“Oh, so you don’t know?”, Sweet pea chuckled a little and your face twisted in confusion.

“I’m not talking about the mayor. I’m talking about the red headed football player who just pulled a gun on us”, he said and your mouth fell a little open.

“Archie did what?”, you asked in total confusion. That didn’t sound like the boy you had known for years but there’s wasn’t another red haired boy in the football team.

“Believe it or not, I don’t care, but I do think it’s best for you to leave”, he said and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Why should I? I didn’t pull a gun on anyone and I don’t have anything against the southside”, you told him, trying to seem as confident as you could but paranoia hit you and you felt like everyone in the bar was after you. Maybe it was his words or maybe the alcohol, or both?

“The southside doesn’t care. Cmon now, we’ll escort you out”, Sweet Pea offered a hand to you.

“Thanks but no thanks. I came here to get drinks and I’m not finished with this one yet”, you said and refused his hand with a small smirk. This made him smirk also as he leaned towards you, his other hand on the table and the other on the chairs back, trapping you in your spot.

“I’d come with us now, the others here aren’t so understanding. Besides, I bet your ginger boy is missing you so you better run back to him before someone else decides to have a little fun with you”, he told you in a low voice and you shuddered. His closeness and voice were intimidating but at the same time arousing and he was sexy as hell. You had to take a few deep breaths before speaking.

“I just told you that I’m not leaving. And if you’re referring to yourself with this fun, I’d rather go with my ginger”, you said with smirk of your own. You didn’t have anything going on with Archie but he didn’t have to know that. The two minions behind Sweet Pea were trying to hold back their laughter and you waited for Sweet Pea to make you leave instantly but he only smirked at you with a devilish glint his eyes.

“Oh baby, you have no idea what fun is before you experience it with me”, he whispered into your ear and you felt a chill go down your spine and the wetness between your legs was undeniable.

“Im sure the fun you have with yourself in your dark bedroom is the highlight of your day but now that I think of it, I think I will leave to go have some fun with an actual person”, you said and stood up. At this point, the boys behind Sweet Pea were holding their stomachs for laughing so hard. You didn’t know where all of this was coming from and it might have been stupid to throw some shade on a gang member but you couldn’t stop yourself as you felt horny about his dominant attitude. A little flirting wouldn’t hurt, right?

You couldn’t even take a step from the chair as Sweet Pea hadn’t moved and he was roughly pushing you against the wall behind you with his body, bringing his face so close to your face that you could feel his breath against your lips and you wanted so bad to kiss him. The boys behind him had stopped laughing and it caused a tiny fear in you as they knew he wasn’t playing anymore.

“You just made a big mistake”, he said, looking down at your lips as you dragged your lower lip between your teeth, masking your fear as you felt the wetness between your legs growing.

“I was hoping you’d be my next big mistake”, you flirted and a huge smirk spread on his face. He didn’t say anything, just stared at you with lust in his eyes and after a long moment, he finally spoke.

“Come with me”, he simply said after touching the exposed skin on your chest, dragging down to slightly brush over you nipple, making it instantly harden as you weren’t wearing a bra and then he started to walk up a near staircase. You didn’t even hesitate to follow as the two boys cleared a path for you.

Sweet Pea lead you to a door that he opened and waited for you to step in before he did too and closed the door behind you. You eyed the room and it was simple, just a bed, an old cabinet and a table, aside from some led lights here and there on the walls, making the room glow in red and purple colors.

“So this is where you play with yourself?”, you said and couldn’t hold back the smirk.

“I think it’s time for us to put that smart mouth of yours to better use”, he said, ignoring your little comment. You started to walk towards him and when you reached him, you dragged your fingers lightly from his wrist up to his neck and then to his lips. Sweet Pea was starting to breath heavily as your lips started to near his but you stopped right before they could make contact and then turned around with a light giggle. But he stopped you from walking away by grabbing your wrist tightly.

“Oh no, babygirl, I think you’ve got it wrong. It’s actually cute that you think you’re in charge”, he told chuckled lightly, making you even more excited. He then lifted you up by your ass and you wrapped your legs around his body and he pushed your back against the wall and brought his face close to your again, but still not making contact.

“You sure you wanna do this? Betray your northside friends by being with a southsider and a Serpent?”, he asked, but it wasn’t really a question, more of a tease.

“I said I wanted you to be my next mistake. I’m still hoping for the big part to be true”, you told him with a smirk as you finally connected your lips and he instantly kissed you back. His tongue battled with yours for dominance but you knew he’d win so you gave up and he hummed in satisfaction. Then he bit your lip, not hard but hard enough for you to gasp silently as he drew it back before releasing. After your little make out, he stepped back from the wall, turned around and threw you on the bed. Another gasp escaped from you at his roughness but it was just making you even more turned on.

“Ready for the fun to start?”, he asked with a smirk after removing his shirt. You couldn’t keep your eyes from his gorgeous upper body.

“Oh, it’s not over? I thought that was the best you got”, you said referring to the heated kissing as couldn’t help yourself with your comments, they were clearly getting to him and you wanted some rough sex and your words were your way of getting just that.

“You’re just making this worse for yourself, baby”, he told you and you knew he was doing exactly what you wanted, a little provoking was doing the trick. But you didn’t know that your words were unnecessary as you had no idea what kind of a person you were actually dealing with.

“Hit me with your best shot”, you provoked him just a little more and he lost it.

“Just remember, you chose this mistake”, he said with an evil glint in his eyes and there was a small flash of fear in you. Maybe this really was a mistake? But you didn’t have any time to think about it as Sweet Pea was pulling his pants down along with his boxers, revealing his already hard cock to you. And you had gotten exact what you wished for. He wasn’t big, he was huge. You weren’t new to big dicks but this was the next level. It was thick but not too thick but the length was amazing.

“That’s not gonna fit”, the words slipped from your mouth before your brains registered them.

“Scared? I thought you wanted something big, but don’t worry, I’ll make it fit”, he smirked and stood next to the bed, forcing you to lay on your stomach on the edge.

“Open wide”, he commanded and you gulped before doing so. You flattened you tongue as he pushed his cock in your mouth as deep as he could and it wasn’t even halfway in before you gagged.

“Cmon babe, you can take it”, he cooed and gripped your hair to push in deeper as you started to choke, tears starting to roll from your eyes. You were trying to balance yourself on the edge of the bed and trying to focus on pleasing him but you were struggling.

“You like choking on my cock? This is what you get for not controlling what comes out of your mouth”, he laughed darkly as he slapped your cheek not-so-lightly, making his cock twitch. There was no possibility to answer him and drool was starting to drip from your mouth as he thrusted into your throat. It started to get to the point where you had to push him away so you wouldn’t vomit and luckily, he let you. You had to take a moment to breathe.

“I like it rough but I’m not gonna hurt you”, Sweet Pea said.

“What if I want it to hurt?”, you questioned silently but he heard you as he had a sinister smirk on his face.

“Damn, you’re my kinda girl, I can’t believe we haven’t met before”, he replied and you smiled at his small talk in this situation.

“Don’t be gentle”, you encouraged him as you pulled your shirt off to reveal your naked chest.

“Trust me, I won’t be”, he said with a mischievous glint in his eyes as he started to pull your pants off.

“Come lay on my lap”, he ordered as he sat at the edge of the bed. You did as told and your hands were resting against his thighs and your knees almost touching the floor as you were positioned like a child about to get spanked for misbehaving, and you were, but not in a childish way. He caressed your ass with his big hand a few times before spanking it, hard.

“Bad girls get spanked”, he simply said and repeated his actions again and again and again until your ass was definitely gonna have a bruise on it. He slapped you one last time before pressing his fingers at you covered entrance.

“God, you’re soaking through your panties”, he chuckled as he pulled the fabric aside and pushed his thumb in, pressing your g-spot and his index and middle finger went to rub on your clit as you moaned in pleasure. He fingered you for a moment and you were starting to feel your orgasm forming but he pulled out.

“Oh no, you’re not cumming before me”, he said and pushed you up and back to lay on the bed on you back. He then removed your panties and spread your legs and lowered himself between them. He licked your clit a few times before getting up and positioning himself with your entrance. You huffed out in annoyance at his little tease.

“Patience”, he smirked before starting to push in. His hands were on either side of your torso and you gripped his biceps to brace for his huge cock. He kept pushing and you started to feel a little pain, but not enough to hurt, just to make things exciting. As he still kept pushing, you started to move around, trying to adjust to his length.

“It’s not even in and you’re already squirming like the devil is in you”, Sweet Pea laughed at you and you hoped the color didn’t drain from your face.

“It’s not even in?!”, you almost yelled.

“No, but now it is”, he smirked evilly as he pushed himself in fully and a small scream escaped your mouth.

“Good girl, take my cock”, he said lowly and you enjoyed his roughness and dirty talk. He didn’t give you any time to adjust as he started to fuck you with force, pushing deep with every thrust. Moans filled the room and you were again starting to reach your peak and that’s when a hand snaked around your throat and squeezed.

“Remember, don’t cum before me”, he reminded and started to pound into you without mercy as he kept his grip around your throat.

In the middle of the relentless pounding, he suddenly pulled out and flipped you over on your knees and hands and without a word, continued to push into your already used pussy. He gripped your hair and pulled your head back as lowered himself a little to speak into your ear.

“I’m gonna ruin you”, he said and got back up, deepening his thrusts even more and slapped your already sore ass.

Once again, you were close to cumming but remembered his words and tried to control yourself but failed. Sweet Pea chuckled after you finished and pulled out.

“You got only yourself to blame for this”, he said and you frowned at him in confusion. But you knew what he meant when you felt his cock at your asshole.

“No, don’t, I’ll break”, you said with a little panic in your voice.

“Scream for me”, he whispered as he pushed in. And you screamed.

Your pussy juices on his cock made it easier to slide in but the stretch was causing pain and you tried to take it but you could only scream as he kept pushing and pushing until he was finally in and he didn’t give you any time to adjust with your ass either as he started to thrust into you.

Your screams slowly turned into moans and another orgasm was forming when he bent to pinch your nipples.

“Cum”, Sweet Pea demanded right before you did exactly that and he released himself inside your ass. You hissed a little when he pulled himself out of you and you both fell onto the bed.

“Was that fun enough for you?”, he questioned with a smile, the first actual smile you had seen on him.

“Well, I think Archie could’ve done better”, you lied, wanting to tease him.

“Liar, liar, pants on fire”, he chuckled as he pulled you into his side and kissed your temple. You were slightly surprised about his affections but in a positive way.

“You’re not a big mistake, I mean, big, yes but, mistake, no”, you said, feeling extremely drawn to the boy.

“So you’ll switch your Weasley to me?”, he asked and now you were really surprised. You didn’t get to answer when you heard your phone ringing. You quickly picked it up from your pants pocket from the floor and saw Archie’s name on the screen. Hesitating a little before answering, you saw Sweet Pea glance at your phone but he didn’t say anything.

“Hey, Arch, what’s up?”, you said, trying to sound casual. Archie asked you where you were but you didn’t wanna tell him, he was just gonna yell at you. But you didn’t have to say anything as Sweet Pea took the phone from you.

“Hey, Arch”, he mimicked your words but ended them with a chuckle.

“Listen, we just had the most amazing sex with Y/N here, so she’s gonna have to call you back later ‘cause you’re kinda ruining the moment”, he said and hung up the phone and your mouth fell open at his bluntness.

“You did not just…”, you started but couldn’t finish as Sweet Pea started to laugh.

“I definitely did”, he laughed and soon, you joined him. After a long laugh, you finally decided to reveal Sweet Pea your little secret.

“By the way, I never had anything with Archie so I’m all yours”, you said and waited for him to say something but he only kissed you.

“I know”, he whispered.

It Wasn’t Real (finale)

Summary: You’re part of the infamous Loser’s Club, and often asked, what are you afraid of? You reply, nothing, but what your friends don’t know is that your biggest fear is them.

prologue - one - two - three - four - five - six - seven - eight - nine - ten -eleven - finale

A/N: THIS IS IT, THE FINAL PART! FINALEEEEEEEEE

I just wanna say like thank you all so much for the wonderful support on this story, i’m seriously gonna miss writing it SO MUCH! It’s crazy to believe i’m already done, but I mean, I did upload like everyday lol. Anyway, thank you all again so much.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Send me a little comment in the ask section or leave it below on what you thought of this chapter. It doesn’t have to be long, I appreciate every single comment I receive and telling me just helps inspire me to write it more frequently.

Pairing: Richie x Reader, and Loser’s Club x Reader, also slight Stan x Reader

Warnings: force, bullying, depressing and sad tones.

Tag’s List: @chalatea - @darlingimafangirl - @chalatea - @myfriendmagislit -@frozenhealswrites - @fl0werb0nes18 - @emotionallyenterprised - @alec-lighwccd - @bellasett - @starshininginthedark - @tastefulcaring - @impulsivesuperrobin - @newtandthediamonds - @huge-waste-of-time​ - @jess-sxcks​ - @theoraekensnotsosecretlover​ - @moonageharry​ - @nieligator​ - @sufferingstilinski​ - @the-fantastic-fandom-dork - @horsiesandstuff​ - @arianamichelle04​ - @alloffmyships​ - @darlingimawriter​ - @gcnnyweasleys​ - @redvelvet-cupcake​ - @almusanzug​ - @d0nt-g0-imagines​ - @brighter-thanthe-sky​ - @murphamy-minefeild​ - @celestesfairy​ - @fly-like-a-grayson​ - @emrysaaryn - @holy-minseok - @antiherojason - @multifandom-states - @mysticsthinking - @ladyfairenvale - @crazyinlovewithbatman - @shaniacboogara - @welcometoourcomputershow - @17marvelousfreak - @funtik2011 - @anon-leaning-against-a-trashbin - @terrashrone - @im-fandom-trash - @mrgrytyrll - @ponyboys-sunsets - @captainslugcat - @eachandeveryfandom - @queenylime - @catwoman2502 - @1enchantedfantasy1 - @downtherabbithole66
bolded is who I couldn’t tag.


Originally posted by jayqueenofhell

“It’s coming back now.” Stan explained, nodding at his friends who surrounded him. The group was silent, standing around Stan, battered by what had just happened in the sewers but happy that it was over and their friend was standing before them alive. “Only bits and pieces, but I remember IT just suddenly being there and that’s it. Then I woke up with you guys around.”

Silence echoed Stan’s words, as he slowly let his eyes move around the people surrounding him; hesitant to ask what was on his mind. “What happened?” It was obvious what had happened. IT had come back, just like you’d tried to tell him but Stan had been too stupid, too in-denial to listen, that’s how he found himself here. But, it was almost like there was more; like the day and a bit he’d been gone more had happened then he could ever imagine.

“Y/N t-told us about how IT had taken you.” Bill finally answered, his eyes landing on you for a split second before gazing back at Stan. “She said s-she found the words “W-WHERE’S STAN?” written on h-her ceiling in blood. A-After that, w-we came here to find you.”

As Bill explained, Stan’s eyes fell on you as you looked to the ground. The last time you’d spoken, he’d left you just standing there after practically begging for help. No part of you was mad, but you could tell he felt guilty, just by his gaze. And it didn’t help that he’d bee wrong, that’d just been proven after what’d happened.

“And um- Henry’s dead.” It wasn’t needed, but you felt like you had to say it. Henry was terrible to you but you’d still killed someone. You didn’t know what would happen, though you knew none of them would ever say anything but you’d physically murdered someone; didn’t matter if he was an asshat half of the time. “So there’s that.”

Richie noticed your discomfort, and could only imagine what you must be thinking. Leaning over, he grabbed your hand; ignoring the looks he received from the others. “You did what you had to do.” 

“Bu-”

“Richie’s right, Y/N.” Eddie interrupted you, turning to look at you with a sincere gaze. “Henry would’ve killed you if you hadn’t done what you did. He deserved it.” Richie squeezed your hand as you reluctantly nodded, giving a small smile his way.

But, we’re glad you’re okay, Stan.” Beverly smiled, her blue eyes brighter than before. Despite the fact that you’d all just come from a fight with a murderous clown and quite literally from a trip in the sewers, everyones faces seemed a whole lot brighter. Even you yourself, you felt less empty than you’d felt for so long. The world seemed brighter and a lot more colourful, rather than the dull black and white you’d been seeing it in for the past four years. 

“Yeah.” Mike agreed, nodding with a smile on his face.

Keep reading

Mothers’ Weekend

Hello there! Long time, no see (my bad I know) but, here: an Alicia Zimmermann-centric piece as she goes to Parents’ Weekend during Jack’s freshmen year. [focus on Alicia, Jack, and Shitty] 6k


Somewhere, deep in her heart, Alicia Zimmermann knows she is a bad mother.

It started out as a worry, as maybe it does for all new mothers, that she will be a bad mother. That she won’t know what to do with a baby or a toddler that one day she will accidentally drop him or forget to feed him or feed him something he is actually allergic to or maybe she’ll scar him emotionally somehow and she worried but she survived his childhood okay. And then, after he was five or six, she stopped worrying about it. She thought she was doing pretty good. Jack had hockey and loved hockey and, sure, they didn’t have deep emotional talks but she didn’t exactly have any basis of comparison. Television families told her she was doing okay. No teenage boy wanted to have deep talks with his mother. And, look, if Jack didn’t talk to her all that much as he turned 12 and then 13, at least he was still talking to his father. Mostly still about hockey but she… she thought that had counted. Hockey was like French, to her. Another language she could understand but couldn’t quite speak. But Bob could. He was on top of it. Jack was taken care of.

She loved Jack. That was never the problem. The problem was that her love wasn’t enough. It didn’t matter. It didn’t alert her to any of the facts and maybe it even blinded her– She loved her son and her son loved hockey and so she loved hockey too. She loved her son and then her son seemed to love a boy named Kent and they never talked about it but she let Kent come over all the time and she figured they would discuss it at some point. She just… assumed everything was okay. Even after he was diagnosed with the anxiety disorder and given pills. It was always… well, that was a little problem but it’s handled and under control and everything is okay now.

See. Bad mother.

A good mother would have known somehow.

A good mother would have pushed and prodded or sensed it without even having to be told.

A good mother would have paid attention to how hard Jack was on himself. A good mother would have made sure her son had interests outside of hockey. A good mother would have known that Jack’s long silences after losses weren’t normal. A good mother would have preached balance and fostered friendships with different types of people and stopped the fucking hockey.

She didn’t though. Stop the hockey. No, not Alicia Zimmermann. She encouraged it. She went to the games and cheered the loudest and she even loved it a little bit because she thought it brought him joy, like his father. She bought into the vision: Jack playing hockey like Bob, the Zimmermann legacy continued throughout the ages…

God, she even used to tease Jack about how it took his father three years to win a Cup and she was sure Jack could manage it faster than his old man.

A good mother wouldn’t have done that. So, see, she’s always been a bad mother. Even now, now that she’s almost lost him, now that she’s promised to do better, now that she’s finally read all the books and online articles about anxiety and pressure and the danger of sports and hockey culture… now she’s still just as bad. Just for different reasons.

Now she is a bad mother because it’s Saturday afternoon and he’s been at Samwell for almost three months and she does not feel like mothers are supposed to feel in this moment.

She glances around. At the sea of other mothers and fathers crammed onto Samwell’s campus for Parents’ Weekend. They are not nervous. They are excited. Happy. Enthusiastic. Overjoyed to see the teenager they had left just a couple months ago again. To her right is a father almost (but not quite) breaking into a run to give his son a hug. To her left, a mother has burst into tears. Happy tears.

And then there’s her. She’s not excited to see Jack. Well, no. No, it’s not that she’s not excited. She is. She is. (She is. She repeats it once more just to remind herself). She is just…

She is nervous too. More nervous than she is excited.

Keep reading

Well, That’s Embarrassing (Pennywise oneshot)

Request by @agespenst: An imagine where Penny walks in on you masturbating and moaning and he runs to you thinking you’re hurting yourself, and you embarrassingly have to explain bc he doesn’t know the shit humans do


××××


You were home alone for the night. Pennywise would usually hang around from time, but there were no signs of him tonight, you figured that he must be out doing other things. You put the thought to the side as you laid there in bed, you sighed, putting down the book that you were currently reading. You weren’t able to focus on it anymore, for the whole day you had been achingly aroused for no apparent reason. You shifted around on the mattress a few more times before letting out a frustrated grunt. You let your hand fall down to your thigh, your fingers roaming over the bareskin skin in no specific pattern below the shorts you were wearing. You shivered as it made chills run up into spin, goosebumps gathering up on your skin. Your sex had started to ache so much that you could feel your heartbeat settling in it.


“Fuck it.” You whispered to yourself. You brought your hands back up your body, stopping quickly at the edge of your shorts to unbutton them. You spread your legs apart enough so you could easily slip your hands into them. You bit your lip as your hands brushed against your exposed mound, you laid your head back into the pillow, closing your eyes, letting your fingers explore your own body. You let your middle finger settle gently into your folds, teasing yourself as you felt how wet you were becoming. A soft sigh escaped your lips as you let a finger seep in deeper into your core, your brought your other hand down into your shorts, running a finger over your swollen clit this time as you began to pump your fingers in and out of yourself. You let your hips grind into your hands as your sounds started to get louder. You moaned, letting yourself drift away in the ecstasy of you upcoming release. This is what you had been craving all day. Your back began to arch off the bed.


You moaned out, letting your fingers sink in deeper as you thrust in and out of yourself, while rubbing circles into your clit diligently. You gasped feeling yourself getting close to the edge. “Oh, fuck..” You whimpered. Your eyes were shut tight as you were completely oblivious to any of your surrounding. You were reach your peak as you felt the first few slivers of orgasm washing over you, you were so close.


Just when you felt yourself begging to come, breathe grew faster as you moaned brokenly out into your room. But your orgasm was cut short by a jarring shake to the side of to bed. Your eyes snapped open to Pennywise standing over you, looking down at you in a very quizzical way as he investigated the scene. You helped out in shock and ripped your hands for your shorts. “Holy shit!” You yelled.


“Why were you screaming?” His face scrunched, looking at you. “Are you hurt?”


You covered your face. You could feel yourself getting red in embarrassment, not know Im how I’m the fix to explain this to him. He wasn’t well versed in human behavior and all. It was also most comical as the thought of having the sex talk with a clown crossed your mind. Jesus, you thought to yourself. You took in a breathe and sat up, bringing your legs up to your chest as you glanced up at him. “I’m not hurting.. I was just doing something that humans do.. To relieve stress.”


“Screaming makes you feel better?” He said curling his lip as lowered himself into the bed.


Your cheeks turned a bright scarlet, “No. Uhm..” You took in a breathe not even believing this conversation. “Look. It’s something called masturbation. Let’s leave it at that.” You said quickly, feeling weird about explaining.


He like at you dumbfound as his eyes studied you. He squinted, “What is it’s purpose?”


You chewed your lip, you brought your hands up to your face to pinch the beidge of your nose. “It feels.. Good.”


“I’ve never seen someone scream because they felt good.” He said curiously, his eyes trailed down to where your hands had been previously.


You noticed him looking and swallowed hard. “It’s possible.” You said nervously.


His gaze shot back up to yours, a dark look in his eyes. He began to reach out towards your shorts, making your heart slip a beat. “And if I did it..?”


Your hands dig into the bed as you tried to keep your breathing steady, but it wasn’t any use, surely he could already sense your rapidly growing heart rate. “I.. I.” Was all you could muster. Before you said another word, his hands had already pulled your shorts halfway down as it inched closer to your sex. He let his hand brush against it, testing your reaction. He didn’t seem disappointed by the gasp that left you as he continues dragging his hand down your slit. Running his tongue over his lips, he pulled his hand back to his mouth, ripping half of the glove away to expose his fingers. It was the first time you hand ever seen his actual hand. Most of the time the gloves were only off after his anger had caused his claws to rip through them. His hands were a pale, off-white color, just like his face paint. You moved one of your legs, spreading them a bit wider to give him the access that he wanted.


He lowered his hand slowly again, letting his bare fingers run against you, you moaned when he hovered over your clit, barely touching it. Your hand held his in place over your clit as you grinded into his hand, being grateful for the delightful friction. “There.. Right there.. Please.” You moaned, pushing his fingers down to your entrance. He breathed out, grunting as he slide in fingers into you. You bit down on your lip, lifting yourself up to get better leverage as you rocked yourself back and forth. He smiled, his teeth peeking through his lips as he watched you in pure curiosity and satisfaction as you moaned, writhing against his hand to pleasure yourself.


“Shit, I’m gonna come.” You frowned out as one of your hands wrapped around his arm.


“Where are you going?” He growled.


A small smirk left your lips. “No.. no. That’s not what I-Oh!” Your sentence was interrupted by your climax. You threw your head back, grinding harder against his fingers as you could feel them rubbing against your G-spot. “Fuck, Penny!” You rode your orgasm out until you finally came to a slow moving stop. You took a deep breath, allowing yourself to come back to your sense before you leaned your head back up. Penny was wide eyed as he pulled his fingers out of you, he lifted them back up to his face to inspect why they were wet. His tongue slide fro between his lips as he dragged it across his fingers, getting a taste of you.


You bit your lip as you watched him, getting turned on all over again by the sight. “Does that explain?” You giggled.


He smiled with a blink. “I’ve never made a human scream for a good reason before.”


You licked your lips as leaned up into him. “Wanna do it again?” You said with a wicked smirk.

wedding!reddie hc’s

aka….

THE REDDING

this turned out waaaaaay longer than i expected and its longer than any hc i’ve ever written but i mean cOME ON its a wedding?!?!?!? how does one write shortly about a WEDDING that would be a pretty boring wedding right

this contains some stenbrough too btw!

(planned together with the amazing @remushlupin again, she made the playlist also! 
and my bby @babyeds came up w/ something too <3)

ANYWAY!!! 

Keep reading

Our Little Secret - Part Eleven

Summary: Dean and you try something new on the way to your next hunt

Series Masterlist

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Square Filled: free space for @spnkinkbingo

Kink(s): Sexting

Word Count: 3400

Warnings: Smut, sexting, language, flashback in italics, texting is in bold and italics

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. I’m really loving these character and this series. Thank you for your wonderful responses. A special thank you to the people who looked this over for me.

***THE TAGLIST FOR THIS SERIES IS CLOSED**

It’s been three weeks, three freaking weeks since Dean has touched you and you are dying.

The first two weeks had been because you were healing up. He was pretty sure you had cracked ribs and your shoulder had been really sore, so he wasn’t going to chance hurting you, even the couple of times you had insisted.

Then you had gotten the bright idea to tell him either he could have fun with you, or you would take care of it yourself. Dean promptly made sure the two of you shared a room with Sam at the next motel, a smug smile on his face, daring you to go right ahead. If you weren’t so nervous about being caught, you would have called his bluff.

Keep reading

PINOF Through the Ages

ah, November, that special time of year between halloween and christmas where i can buy “fun sized” (read “thumb sized”) chocolate bars and tinsel in the same aisle at walmart…

it’s also that time of year where members of the phandom, young and old, come together and collectively binge watch all the PINOF videos in preparation for the newest installment, as we wait with bated breath for what fresh hell we’re gonna be hit with this year.

today, i would like to share with you my observations of PINOF Through The Years, as we embark on the fucking trip that is sure to be PINOF 9…

Phil is not on fire (25 October 2009)

- can you IMAGINE what the hell Phil’s parents and/or brother must’ve thought when they were filming that/saw it for the first time?! Phil brings home this random kid he found in a train station and they start giggling like actual 12 year olds and wandering round the house talking about The Shining, using the exercise equipment Phil has probably never stepped foot on in his life, and drawing on their faces in sharpie? i can fucking HEAR Kath saying “Phil…honey…are you on the drugs?” and Martyn cackling like a lunatic in the background at his brother and his weird friend….

- Dan is trying so. damn. hard. not to laugh throughout the entire video.

- Speaking of Dan, even back then he was a sassy, cocky lil shit… “every animal makes that noise with you…” “wow Phil, i bet they’re all so glad they can see the diagram…” “no, okay, Phil has really crappy GHDs that don’t even work…they don’t even work…they are Poundland GHDs.”

- everyone always talks about The Tackle™ at the end of the video, but not NEARLY enough people talk about the lil smirk Phil gives the camera just before it…like, seriously?! that’s a “haha, here goes nothing!” kinda smirk. thats a “lol watch this!” kinda smirk. thats a “give the people what they want” kinda smirk…im just sayin’…

Phil is not on fire 2 (29 May 2010)

- okay, first of all, Dan…sweetheart…did you borrow that cardigan from your mum?

- Dan: “if you could choose which surname you had, what would be your decision?” Phil: “…umm…” *almost imperceptible but still definitely there jumpcut* Phil: “Striker!”….yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, everyone knows that Phil really said “yours” in an incredibly sheepish and embarrassed voice to Dan that made him go “awwww!….you’re cutting that out…”, but lets appreciate the editing skills it took to make the cut so completely (almost) seamless….

- oh. my. GOD! there is an ENTIRE post JUST about the microwave moment, but i have to reiterate it again for those who have recently entered this hellscape: imagine you are Phil Lester, a 23 year old adult with an ENGLISH LANGUAGE DEGREE, and in comes this adorable 18 year old twink trying to tell you that “microwave” is a fucking onomatopoeia! if i was Phil, THIS would be the moment i’d never let Dan live down. fuck “hello internet”, if he ever pissed me off i’d just be like “yeah, well, at least i know microwave isn’t a fucking onomatopoeia…” and walk away. argument done, you win every time.

- and that being said, again, lets appreciate how much we can learn from the facial expressions of Philip Michael Lester. in that moment, the look he gives Dan is pure “are you fucking serious…?” it is incredulity in a nutshell. it is shock and fondness and “oh my god you are such a twat…”. if there were a dictionary of facial expressions, Phil’s face at the moment Dan says fucking microwave is his favourite onomatopoeia would be the one next to the definition of “wtf?”

Phil is not on fire 3 (1 November 2011)

- 2011 was, by far, the WORST year for Dan and Phil’s hair. tragic. absolutely tragic…

- wow, Dan was right, every animal DOES make the same noise to Phil, including horrific genetic hybrids of land and sea mammals…

- Dan’s ability to almost unhinge his jaw is terrifying…and i’m sure has played a part in lots of phanfic that i’m definitely not going to look for ever…

- okay, seriously guys?! the word is vagina. say it with me: vagina. come on! all together now! it’s not a *awkward silence and weird hand gesture*, it’s not a “birth area", it’s just a vagina…for someone who knows so much about placenta, it strikes me as odd that Dan can’t say the word vagina out loud…

- i’ve never heard anyone giggle as much as Dan does in this video…

Phil is not on fire 4 (12 September 2012)

- the hair is better this year…slightly…

- whoever decided that those face mask things were a good idea needs to be buried alive…the way they look when they move is so horrifying, it gives me nightmares.

- the “gu-hoy!” noise Dan makes in this video (ts 3:21 if you’re at all interested) is my text alert on my phone and it makes me panic every time i watch it because im like “wtf is someone texting me for at 11:53 pm?!” but then i realize it’s just the video and that i’m actually still very alone and have no friends…

- (bloopers bonus!) petition to have 2012 be known in the phandom as, ‘The Year Dan Was Finally Comfortable With The Word Vagina’. that’s all it was guys! he learned a new word and just wanted to show how broad his vocabulary had become!

Phil is not on fire 5 (22 November 2013)

- and right off the bat we’re affronted again by the fact that Dan and Phil have zero concept of how female anatomy works….

- this is probably the most uneventful pinof in the entire series.

Phil is not on fire 6 (6 November 2014)

- to return to the hair discourse, i firmly maintain that 2014 was the best year for their haircuts/styles.

- Phil has no concept of what a sassy face is…

- #StopPhil201X needs to just be a recurring thing every year…

- that poor, poor snake…

- petition for Dan to sing the national anthem at every tour stop in 2018

- the idea of Dan trying to carry on the legacy of Phil Is Not On Fire after Phil’s death is so damn heartbreaking to me…i need a minute

- my lil demon soul is convinced that Phil was doing *something* to Dan’s neck when they both tried to fit through that sweater…i mean, look at his face when he laughs and says “stop". seriously?!

- something about Dan with his fringe swapped, on the wrong side of the bed, and wearing Phil’s shirt makes me feel almost uncomfortable, but in a way that i’m not entirely sure how to process…

- (bloopers bonus!) to reiterate! every animal does, in fact, make the same noise to Phil. this has now been confirmed 3 times.

- (bloopers bonus!) the amount of pleasure Phil is able to derive from any mention of Hello Internet warms the deepest recesses of my soul like the light of the sun after a 1000 year winter.

Phil is not on fire 7 (29 November 2015)

- uh, excuse me? do not drag my country in such a way. Canada is indeed real. it’s where maple syrup comes from. as someone who enjoys the simplicity of a good pancake, i expected better from you Mr. Philip.

- i feel so bad for their neighbours during the stress mushroom tug of war…like, can you imagine what those poor people must’ve thought of them? i’d love to interview their neighbours one day…better yet, their neighbours should write a book: “I Lived Next To YouTubers For 5 Years: The Adventure" and just have it be a chronicle of every weird thing they ever witnessed/encountered.

- with every passing year, Dan’s knowledge of fanfiction tropes and writing styles becomes increasingly disturbing…hide the smut everyone Daniel Howell is coming for it.

- Phil! with the puns! honestly Dan, how do you put up with this man?

- (bloopers bonus!) the way dans voice changes when he grabs Phils underwear and is just ENTHRALLED with the fact that he’s colour coordinates his boxers to his bedsheets is probably the single most disgusting thing i have ever witnessed in my entire life…i mean, i love it, but why are you SO EXTRA?!

Phil is not on fire 8 (29 November 2016)

- NOTHING in the animal or cutlery kingdoms should be born or created in the way Phil describes the birthing process of a spork!

- okay. OKAY! i love the fringes, i really do. i’m a fringe fan from way back, but the hair pushed back thing they get going on sometimes? i can get on board with that.

- aaaannd at 1:57 into pinof 8, the little game i like to play called “Phan or Viktuuri" had all of its lines blurred so far beyond recognition i’m not even sure which universe i’m living in anymore.

- the PSA for “staying hydrated"…such a harmless, and beautiful message about health and self care that the phandom managed to turn into a sex meme…but no one is surprised by that now, are they?

- i need to know why that stock photo exists in the first place…also, why the hell was Phil wearing sandals in November?

- (bloopers bonus!) Phil: “phil is not on fire 8! this time its…what the tagline?” the phandom: “…gayer than ever?” Dan: “full of regrets.” the phandom: “…i mean I GUESS!!!”

- (bloopers bonus!) everything about this blooper reel just confirms even more solidly that Dan is the biggest Phil fan in the world. i’m not gonna wax poetic about the compliments or the comparisons to sunshine or anything else, because at this point is it really necessary? no. i thought not.

and there we have it. just in time for PINOF 9 to be released, a full (and much more in depth than intended) recap of the saga thus far…wake me up when Gamingmas starts, cuz after this video comes out, i’m gonna need a solid week of sleep

For Char

@potato-fan-girl I talked about this on anon on @waffle-walks blog I can send you the post :))

To all of my followers: I hope you have fun celebrating, and if you don’t or it already passed, then I hope you have a great day!!

—-

lonce: hunk

lonce: hunk help

lonce: hunk jesus im locked in an elevator with a cute boy and i dont have my hearing aids in bc i dodnt think this was gonna happen what do i do

lonce: huuuunk

lonce: hunk i know you have your phone bc i left he apartment and you are a worried mother hen now look ag your phone

Finally, Lance decides texting his best friend is useless, and he clicks his phone off and slides it into his bag. Of course—of course—Lance didn’t put his hearing aids in before coming to this stupid checkup. His doctors told him he would be taking them out anyway, so he didn’t put them in and now he’s here. Locked in close proximity to possibly the most gorgeous guy he’s ever had the pleasure of seeing but he can’t understand him.

Lance current mood would be the passive-aggressive “I’m-dead-inside” smile if he really had to choose.

He jumps as the guy taps him. He’s leaning into Lance’s personal bubble, but he doesn’t honestly care. For a moment, Lance prays that God will have mercy and give Lance a break before he reaches up to sign to the boy.

He’s met with a gaze filled with confusion. Lance swears internally (or maybe externally? He can’t really be bothered to figure out which). Of course the guy doesn’t understand ASL.

Lance grabs the boy’s hand and starts tracing letters into his palm. He prays the guy doesn’t have, like, nerve damage or something that makes him not feel his hand.

p-e-n-?

The boy takes a moment, but he nods and turns around to rummage in the red backpack behind him. He holds up a pen, handing it to Lance. Lance struggles, for a moment, to roll up his sleeve to reveal his tan forearm, but he manages.

I’m Lance, he writes. I’m also completely deaf without my hearing aids which just so happen to be on my bedside table right now

The boy nods in understanding before taking the pen and rolling up his own sleeve.

Keith. Brother was in the ICU being discharged today. Lance nods. He remembers being discharged. It was the best thing that had happened that week.

Lance had some rare thing. He got a concussion from soccer when he was really young, and his hearing started to deteriorate after that. Then, when he was twelve, he woke up one day, and it was just gone. The silence was unnerving, but he got used to it, then he got hearing aids, which helped with hearing louder noises. He could hear when people talked to him, too, if he turned them up really loud.

do you think anyone knows we’re here?

Keith shrugs with an apologetic look on his face. Lance wishes he weren’t so distracted by Keith’s face because if he wasn’t, he’d totally be flirting.

Suddenly, Keith jumps, and Lance feels faint vibrations from the metal wall of the elevator. Keith holds up a finger, as if telling Lance to wait a minute or be quiet. Lance snickers at the thought. It’s cute that he’s not used to Lance being deaf—he’d forgotten how funny meeting new people was.

They said it’ll be about a half hour, maybe 45 minutes.

Lance nods. For a while, Lance and Keith just stare at each other. Lance doesn’t think it’s uncomfortable, but Keith might be freaking out internally, and Lance would have no idea. He could be freaking out externally and Lance probably wouldn’t know, to be honest.

I think your phone went off.

Lance reads Keith’s arm before fumbling for his bag. Sure enough, his phone was buzzing with rapid fire texts in a group chat with both Pidge and Hunk, his roommates and closest friends.

hunk-o-cheese: dude

hunk-o-cheese: pidge wanted me to play CoD sorry

hunk-o-cheese: anyway

hunk-o-cheese: are you okay

hunk-o-cheese: where are you

midge-pidge: hunk dude calm down hes fine hes just really bi remember

lonce: g u y s

lonce: hes so cute were communicating by writing on our arms in pen i am

lonce: so bi

midge-pidge: see hunk i told you

hunk-o-cheese: dont worry buddy we’re coming to the hospital to get you

midge-pidge: but

hunk-o-cheese: no buts come on

lonce: you guys are sitting next to each other arent you

hunk-o-cheese: ..yes

midge-pidge: yeah :/

Lance chuckles to himself and puts his phone away again. He and Keith don’t say anything else on their arms until the elevator lurches and begins to move again. Lance leans over and takes Keith’s other arm and rolls up the sleeve.

text—don’t call

He adds his phone number, being careful to make sure Keith can tell what every number is. Maybe, for once, Lance won’t get shrugged off and forgotten. He sure hope so. He also hopes Keith is gay, or bi at least. A small smile blooms on Keith’s face as he looks at the number, and the elevator doors open on Lance’s floor. He waves goodbye as he walks down the hall.

Keith has Lance’s number in his phone. He does, and he was planning on texting him or something, but everytime he tries to do so, he chickens out.

Finally, one day he comes home from getting takeout to Shiro staring blankly at the wall, holding his face. He thinks that he’s having a flashback, but his shoulders start to shake, and a few chuckles slip through his lips.

“You didn’t tell me he was deaf,” Shiro claims, throwing his arms up into the air.

“What?” Keith is confused.

“The guy you’ve been trying to text—don’t think I don’t see you contemplating it every day before deleting it and pouting for the rest of the night. I called him. And he’s deaf.”

“Shiro!” Keith shrieks, grabbing for his phone.

Lance: keith im deaf

Lance: did you forget that i cant hear you cant call me because j cant hear you

Keith: That was my brother I am so sorry

Lance: its fine i was just super confused since me being deaf is p hard to forget especially when the pen still won’t come off my arm

Lance: he left a message but hunk was laughing too hard to translate it into sign language

Lance: wait is thjs the brother that was getting discharged

Keith: Yeah it was Shiro

Lance: tell him im glad he called because it got you to text me ;)

Keith blushes and grins. So Lance really did want him to text him.

Keith: I wanted to text you I swear I did

Keith: I just backed out every time because you know

Keith: It’s not everyday I get to meet a cute boy like you

Lance is silent for a long time, and Keith starts to worry that he said something wrong, but his phone goes off eventually.

Lance: i think you jjst gave me a stroke jeez

Lance: go to dinner with me sometime? ill wear my hearing aids this time so we can actually talk instead of giving outselves ink poisoning

Help A Buddy Out

Words: 4066

All Parts

— You and Bucky are roommates and you ask for him to teach you to be better at sex so you can please another guy —

 

“Y/N!” You heard your roommate shout from across the apartment. “Have you seen my shirt?!”

“Why of course, I know exactly what you do with all your shirts. What type, what color, what brand are you looking for? Wait, let me just look into my Bucky Barnes archives…” You shouted back with way too much sass.

A shirtless Bucky poked his head around the door of your bedroom. “Hardy har har.” He returned before coming fully into the room. “You’re overly sassy for no apparent reason. What’s going on?” He strutted over to the bed and took the book from your hands as he sat down. “Chaucer?” he questioned. “You only subject yourself to Chaucer when you’re in a bad mood.”

“Yea, well I had a change of heart.” You retort as you try to snag your book back. He pulled it further from your reach. “Buck, give me my book back.”

“No, not until you tell me why you’re in full sass mode today.”

“Well, then I’ll never get it back.” You sighed as you crossed your arms in front of your chest and leaned back against the headboard.

“C’mon Y/N. I’m your best friend. You can tell me anything.” He spoke as he smiled one of his killer ‘your panties just melted’ smiles. Except, you knew when he smiled like that to you, it was merely platonic. Which sucked.

“Ok fine” you huffed out. “The truth is…” you began as you sat up. “Steve is my best friend.”

Bucky let out a frustrated groan and threw your book back in your general direction. “As if. You know you like me better.” He stood in front of you and stared down; His eyes traveling up and down your body. “If you don’t tell me then I’ll just tickle you until you do.”

You made a face at that. “Don’t do that.”

Bucky started to walk towards the side of the bed where you sat. “You’ve left me with no choice, Doll.” He got closer and grabbed your arm as you tried to scramble away.

“OK, OK!! Don’t do it. I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you!” Bucky released you from his grip.

“There. Was that so hard? Now spill, Doll. Whats going on?”

You sat up once again and brushed your fingers through your hair. “Fine, but stand over there.” Bucky’s eyes travelled to where you pointed.

“You want me to stand in the corner?” His ‘you-cant-be-serious’ look took over his face. “You cant be serious.”

You sighed as you began to explain. “I need you to be as far away from me as possible when I tell you this. Its embarrassing.”

Bucky crossed his arms and began to retreat to the corner. “Fine. Makes total sense, Weirdo.”

You ignored his comment and pulled your knees up under your chin. “Ok. There is no easy way to say this so im just gonna do it.” You sucked in a deep breath. “I don’t know how to have sex. Not well anyway. I have this date with this guy on Friday and its going to be the third date. Everyone knows the third date rule! I don’t want to suck.” You finished with a deep breath, recovering your oxygen levels from your intense rambling.

“You’re still going out with that guy?” Bucky demanded as he began to near you again.

You pointed your finger back at him. “Stay! And yes I am.”

“Why the fuck–?” he started but caught himself before he revealed too much. “Y/N, look, sex is sex. Its, uh, its not that big of a deal. Im sure youll be great.” He said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“It’s a huge deal, Buck! HUGE! Its sex!”

“You’ve had, uh, sex before right?”

“Twice.”

“Twice.” He repeated.

“Yes, twice. I’m going to suck. I know it.”

“Youre not going to suck. It’s not possible”

“How would you know, Buck? Its not like we’ve had sex.” Bucky couldn’t argue with that, they hadn’t, despite how much he wanted to. “Which is why I’m asking you to help me.” You said, snapping Bucky out of his thoughts. “I want you to make me better at sex.”

Buckys head shot up from the direction of his feet, eyes wide. “WHAT?!”

“Please Buck, you said it yourself: sex is sex. Whats the harm if you teach me the ins and outs of it. No pun intended.” You smirked to yourself.

“You’re my best friend!” he spoke in an attempt to find an excuse.

“Friends have sex all the time. You’d just be helping a friend out.”

Bucky thought of another excuse. “What makes you think I can teach you anything?”

You chuckled “I think the plethora of random girls that scream their heads off in pleasure and beg for more is enough for me to know how good you are.”

Bucky blushed. “You hear that?”

“They’re like banshees, Bucky.”

“Are not.” He huffed

“Are too” You returned. Bucky crossed and uncrossed his arms before shifting his weight to his left foot. “Bucky, please. We are always there for each other when the other needs something.”

Bucky let out a sharp laugh. “Yea, but usually its when you want me to pick up your prescriptions from the pharmacy or fix the plumbing.”

“Buck, I need you. I know this is slightly different, but whats the harm?”

“I don’t know.” Bucky pulled his phone from his back pocket to check the time. “I have to go meet Steve. Just let me think about it.” He pocketed his phone again and turned to leave the room.

“Don’t forget a shirt!” You called after him.

Bucky opened the door to the café and scanned the room for his friend. When he saw the over compensating build and light hair he started towards one of the window tables. “Steve.”

Steve looked up from his view of the city and smiled as he saw his oldest friend. “Bucky, its good to see you.”

Bucky took a seat opposite of Steve ordered a coffee when the waitress came around. “Hows things?”

“Great.” Steve began. “Sharon is great. We got a cat.”

Bucky chuckled. “A cat? Since when are you a cat person?”

“Since Sharon is a cat person.” He smirked. “But, whats going on with you? Hows Y/N?”

“Funny that you bring her up.” Bucky said before he smiled and thanked the waitress for his coffee.

“Oh yea?” Steve smiled. “Finally tell her how you feel, did you?

“Yea right. Cause that would go over soooo well.”

“Oh c’mon man, you’ve liked her since she moved in.”

“Doesn’t matter, she doesn’t feel the same. She, uh, asked me this morning to help her become a pro at sex.”

Steve choked on his coffee and reached for a napkin to clean the drops from his chin. “What!?”

“Yea.” Bucky signed and sipped his drink

“What exactly does that entail?”

“She wants us to have sex.” Bucky replied nonchalantly. “She wants us to have sex until shes good at it, apparently.

“Wow. Why?”

“Shes got this date on Friday. Says it’s the third date so they HAVE to have sex for some stupid reason.” He huffed.

“Well,” Steve started “Think of the Bright side: Youll get to have sex with the girl you love.”

“Smooth attempt at making me feel better, pal, but there is no bright side. She wants me for the wrong reason. Its not like she loves me back.”

“All the more reason to tell her. Maybe she just hasn’t thought of you in that way yet and telling her may open her eyes.”

“I don’t know, man. Shes pretty determined. I think if she liked me she’d know.”

“Just think about it, Buck”

“Its all I think about. Which makes me think I cant go through with this.”

“Oh, you definitely cannot go through with this.”

Bucky reentered his apartment after a long and thoughtful conversation with Steve. He had a very valid point: there was no way Bucky could go through with this, but the more he thought about it, the more he didn’t want to disappoint Y/N.  She felt insecure and that was the last thing Bucky wanted. So he could do this just once, right?

“Bucky?” Y/N called, stepping out of her bedroom. “Are you alright? You seem a little dazed.” She continued once she saw his facial expression.

“Yea well what do you expect?” Bucky mumbled to himself as Y/N entered the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee.

“Did you say something?”

“What? No.” He hurriedly spit out. Y/N returned her attention to the coffee maker. “So, I was thinking…” she met his eyes as he continued. “We could try what you proposed. Just once. I’ll tell you what you want to know from that one time, but no more. Deal?”

Y/N squealed in appreciation. “Oh Bucky, you have no idea what this means to me. Thank you so much.”

She jumped into his arms and wrapped her own around his neck. “Yea. I mean what are friends for right?”

“Right!” she smiled. She was so beautiful that he almost kissed her right then and there, but he quickly stepped away.

“So, uh, how do you want to go about this?” Bucky questioned as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“I say we just jump into it. I mean, this is practically for science. No need to beat around the bush.”

Bucky felt his heart crumble just a bit. Hearing her say those words was the last thing he wanted. If anything, he wanted this to mean something to her in the slightest. But clearly it didn’t. “Alright.” He spoke clearly frustrated. He reached for the hem of his shirt and aimed to pull it over his head, but was stopped by Y/Ns soft hand on top of his.

“Let me.” She lifted his shirt off for him and Bucky thought he had never been more turned on. Y/N pulled hers off and slipped out of her sleep shorts then turned and strutted off into her bedroom.

“Jesus.” Bucky mumbled as he followed after her.

When he stepped through the door, she was standing there waiting for him in just her underwear. He eased himself closer to her and she reached for the belt around his hips. ‘This is so bad’ he thought as he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up to him. She looked into his eyes and down to his lips. Slowly, she reached up and pressed her lips to his in the softest of motions. Bucky fell completely into it and Y/N placed her hand on the back of his neck in an attempt to pull him closer, but Bucky pulled away. He couldn’t do this. It just wasn’t right.

“Bucky?” she whispered as she placed her hands on either sides of his face. “Whats the matter?”

Bucky gripped her hands in his own and removed them from his face. “I cant do this.” He spoke so quietly; it was practically to himself.

“What?” Her face twisted in concern.

“I cant do this.” Bucky said a little louder so she could hear him, but this time it was laced with a bit of frustration.

“Why?”

Bucky took a few steps away from her. “I just cant.” He grabbed for his shirt, but Y/N stepped up into his space and grabbed it from him before he could put it on. “Y/N, give me my shirt back.”

“No, Buck. Not until you tell me whats going on.”

“Fine, keep it.” He huffed as he headed for the door.

“Bucky!” Y/N yelled after him. “Bucky, wait!”

Y/N chased him out the door and into their tiny living room. She grabbed his arm to keep him from getting further away from her. “Y/N, Stop!” Bucky yelled as he tried to break free from her grasp. She was deceptively strong.

“Bucky, please just tell me whats going on.” He could hear the sadness in her voice. It almost broke his heart. “Please.” She whispered. Bucky turned to face her with a cold expression on his face. He figured it was better than showing her his true emotions in this moment. ‘Did I do something wrong?” He met her eyes in shock. That was the last possible problem. “Do you not want me?” Slowly, tears began to fall down her cheeks.

Bucky sighed. “That is not possible.” He whispered

“Which?” she questioned

“Neither. You didn’t do anything wrong and its definitely not because I don’t want you, OK?” He reached up and brushed the tears from her cheeks.

“Then what is it?”

“Nothing, Y/N”

“Youre lying.” She was starting to get angry.

“No, Im n-“ he started, but was interrupted.

“Yes, you are!” Y/N was a full on mix of pissed and distressed. “Tell me!” she yelled.

“Y/N” Bucky sighed

“TELL ME!” She screamed again.

“I LOVE YOU!” Bucky yelled in her face before he’d even realized what he was doing. He breathed heavily, eyes looking directly at her before he stepped back and looked to his feet. “I love you.” He spoke again, much quieter.

“Bucky..”

“No, just don’t.” Bucky rushed past her back to her room and put his shirt back on. When he got back to the living room, Y/N was still standing there in shock. “I have to go.” He grabbed his keys of the hook and slammed the door, knocking Y/N out of her shock.

Sharon opened the door to her and her boyfriends apartment to find Bucky standing in the doorway, his head hung low, soaked to the bone. It must’ve been pouring outside. “Bucky, come in.” When he didn’t make a move to enter the apartment, she grabbed him by his arm and slowly pulled him inside. “Steve!?” she yelled “Can you come here?”

Steve walked out from their bedroom. “Yea, babe- Bucky?”

“He just showed up. Im going to go get some towels and an extra shirt.” She said ask she walked Bucky over to the couch and helped him sit down before walking to the bathroom. Steve inched closer to his friend and sat down across from him.

“Buck?” he spoke, but got no response. “Bucky?” he tried again. “What happened?”

Bucky looked up from his hands, but refused to meet Steve’s eyes. “I told her.”

“Well, that’s good isn’t it?” Steve questioned.

“No, Steve, its not. We were about to have sex?”

“You were going to do it!?”

“Just once. She was doubting herself and you know how I get when she does that. I was only going to do it once and help her. I thought I could suppress my feelings for one time.”

“Bucky…”

“I kissed her once and I couldn’t do it. Before I knew it, I was yelling that I love her and now im here.”

Steve placed a hand on his friends shoulder as his girlfriend returned with the shirt and towels. She placed them next to Bucky to use as he needed.

“What did she say?” Steve asked.

“Nothing.” Bucky sighed. “She just stood there. So I left. Well, actually I started to leave the second after I told her.”

“You didn’t give her a chance to say anything?”

“I couldn’t, Steve. I just had to get out of there.”

“Oh, Buck.” Steve started “Just stay here tonight, ok?” he sighed. “But tomorrow you have to talk to her.”

Buckys eyes widened. “No, Steve. I cant.”

“You can. And you will. She is the only girl you’ve ever given a fuck about, never mind the fact that she and Sharon get along great. You’ve made yourself a nice little mess and you’re going to fix it so we can all still be friends. Im too used to our little foursome now to have it fall apart at the seams.”

“Arent you the one who told me to tell her how I felt?”

Steve stood from his chair. “Yea. I was thinking more of a sweet scenario where you buy her flowers and don’t bolt after you tell her.”

Bucky grumbled and wrapped a bright, pink towel around his shoulders. “Well you didn’t specify.”

“I figured it was implied, Buck” Steve began to turn towards is bedroom. “Couch is all yours for tonight. Enjoy, stretch out, think of ways to get your girl. But im gonna turn in. My lady is waiting.”

Bucky made a face. “Steve, I swear if you guys have sex 20 feet away from me…”

“Chill Buck, Sharon and I are hardcore cuddlers.”

“That’s almost worse.”

“Oh please, Buck if you had Y/N you’d cuddle nonstop.”

“Don’t remind me that I don’t have her.” Bucky returned as he stretched out onto the couch.

“Goodnight Bucky.” Steve sighed and retreated to his bedroom where is girlfriend waited for him. Lucky bastard Bucky thought.

Bucky jolted awake at the sound of 3 sharp knocks. He could have sworn he imagined it and was getting ready to settle back into sleep when he heard it again. He grabbed his phone from his pant pocket which had long been discarded onto the floor halfway through the night. It was 3:30 am. What the hell. Bucky groaned as he sat up and walked his shirtless, underwear clad body into Steve and Sharon’s room. Sharon was nestled up against Steves side and their cat sat on his chest, rising and falling in rhythm with Steves breathing. Bucky shuffled forward to Steves side and nudged his shoulder until he woke up.

Steves eyes slowly opened and looked into those of his best friend. “Bucky, what the hell?”

“Little early for cursing don’t you think, Cap?”

Steve sighed and laid his head back on his pillow. “What do you want, Buck?” He whispered in an effort not to stir his girlfriend.

“Theres a knock on your door” Bucky spoke nonchalantly as he pointed in its general direction.

“What?”

“Theres a knock-“ Bucky started but what interrupted by the knock itself. “See?”

Steve sat up slightly, causing the cat to jump of his chest and Sharon to slowly shift in her sleep. “And you woke me because…?”

“I don’t know. Its 3:30 am. Its dark. Im vulnerable. It could be a psycho killer and im not in the mood.”

Steve pushed the sheets of his legs and sat up. “Are you kidding me, Buck? Youre the fucking winter soldier.”

Steve began to walk towards the door as the knocking continued with Bucky hot on his heels. “Yea, well you’re Captain America. We are equally as capable of opening the door, but this is your apartment so I figured id let you. Just in case it is a psycho killer, youd be able to say you defended your own domicile.”

“Gee thanks.” Steve huffed as he reached for the doorknob. The door opened to reveal a slightly disheveled Y/N in none other than her pajamas. Bucky and Steve stared at her for a moment before Steve turned to Bucky. “Well, it’s for you. Totally get why you were scared though. She looks like a murderous demon.” Steve sighed sarcastically. “Im going back to bed. Lovely to see you though Y/N. Sharon misses you like crazy. I mean it’s been like what, 3 weeks since we’ve seen you. Crazy how time flies, we should really-“ Steve continued before behind interrupted by Bucky.

“Steve go to bed.” Bucky spoke without taking his eyes off Y/N.

“Oh geez, fine. Goodnight Y/N”

“Goodnight Steve. “Y/N returned with a feeble smile.

Once Steve was definitely in his room, Bucky turned back to face Y/N. “What are you doing here?”

“Bucky, we need to talk.”

“Look, Y/N if this is about earlier then theres no need. I-“

“I love you, Bucky.” Y/N interrupted.

It was Buckys turn to stand there in shock.

“Bucky?”

Bucky snapped back to his senses and was less than pleased. “Is this some kind of sick joke to you? That’s really low Y/N. I spill my guts and you have the audacity to make fun of me for it.” Bucky turned back into the apartment but Y/n followed him in, shutting the door behind her.

“Bucky, im not lying.”

“You are too. You are supposed to go out on a date this weekend. You don’t love me. If you did, you wouldn’t date that idiot.”

“Bucky you said you love me and you had sex 3 days ago. Not with me, I might add.” Y/N replied laced with a little frustration.

“So? I had to get my frustrations out somehow. I’m not the one who suggested we have casual buddy sex.”

“Bucky, I was just really confused ok? I really thought that if we had sex once that I’d get over you. I don’t even have a date this weekend. I broke up with Mike after he slapped our waitress’ ass as she walked by on our last date.”

“Prick” Bucky mumbled. “So you tricked me into sex?”

“Tricked is such a harsh word.”

“But an accurate one” Bucky finished.

“We didn’t even have sex Bucky. I didn’t even think id be able to go through with it. I just wanted to propose the idea to see how youd react. To see if you wanted me too. I almost died when you pulled away from me.”

Bucky looked up into her eyes. “Yea, well you got what you wanted didn’t you?”

Y/N detected a hint of anger in his words. “Are you actually mad at me? Bucky, we love each other. Or at least we did a couple hours ago.”Bucky refused to speak. It lasted so long that Y/N turned to leave. “Fine, Bucky. Ill just go” Y/N was stopped by a firm grip on her wrist. She looked up and Bucky pulled her to him, kissing her like his life depended on it. Y/N kissed back with as much ferocity as she could. It was passionate and sexy and melting. Y/N had wanted this for so long and it was amazing. They pulled apart only to breathe and Bucky brushed his fingers through her hair.

“We love each other?” He spoke as he rested his forehead on hers.

“Yea, we do”

“I cant believe it.” Bucky chuckled. “I’ve been in love with you since you moved in.”

“Two years, Four months, and eighteen days.” Y/N whispered.

“What?” Buckys head snapped up in shock.

“That’s how long we’ve lived together.”

“Wow.” Bucky stepped back from her embrace and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

“I know because that’s how long ive loved you too.”

“WHAT?!”

“What?”

“You’ve loved me that long too? You had a boyfriend when you moved in.”

“I know, which is weird now that I think about it because he let me move in with another man. He said he wasn’t worried, but he should have been.”

“I’m the reason you dumped that guy a month after you moved in?” Bucky questioned. Y/N only nodded in response. “I cant believe it.” Bucky sighed. “I hated that guy!”

Y/N giggled and moved to cup his face with both hands. “That’s what he told me.”

“Oh, yea right. How would he know?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t see it either, but he insisted that you liked me and wanted to kill him with your metal arm.”

Bucky chuckled and crossed is arms over his chest. “Well, the guy wasn’t as big of an idiot as I thought.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Y/N laughed.

Bucky grabbed Y/Ns hand and walked her over to the couch. He laid down and pulled her on top of him.

“Bucky what are you doing?”

“I’m getting ready to sleep with the girl I love.” He replied as he readjusted his pillow.

“Um, shouldn’t we go home? You know, since you aren’t mad at me anymore?”

“Oh please, doll. I was never mad at you. More just mad at myself. Also, Sharon and Steve miss you didn’t you hear? And all I want to do is take you home and stay in bed with you for days, but I figure I owe them a favor for letting me stay and whine. So, tomorrow we can all go out and they’ll stop complaining about never seeing you, THEN we will stay in bed for days.”

“Ah, great plan, Barnes.”

“Yea, I thought so.” He smiled his cheeky grin. “But for now we will sleep together and actually sleep.”

Langst i thought about late at night im sorry

ok so i don’t have a lot of evidence on this considering i don’t have screenshots and i really need to binge voltron again but im making this off of pure memory so hear me out ok? im porbably looking way too deep into this lmao

I think Lance feeling like he’s a seventh wheel is completely justified. 

Alright so everyone has had that moment where you make a joke and everybody just stay silent like it isnt funny, right? Well if you think about it, Lance has those moments every time he makes a joke or tries to lighten the mood, all of the time. Nobody really laughs at his comments or even pays much attention to them in the first place, only gets glares in return.

Now clearly, Lance usually cracks a joke for comic relief, but apparently no one else finds it funny. For example, he comes out of the pod after healing and everyone is happy to see him.  But as soon as he starts talking, people just groan and act like, “Oh, it’s that Lance, he hasn’t changed one bit,” and act clearly annoyed. Even his idol, Shiro, acts fed up with his shit- which in some cases is justified, but most times, it shouldnt matter, he’s just trying to be funny lmao.  Lance probably feels, unwanted, out of place, like he is the fifth wheel because no one really accepts him, and everyone finds him annoying.

Its not even just with Lance’s sense of humor, too.

People always think his ideas are stupid.

For example, the iconic scene where he keeps Keith from running straight into the danger that could get both of them killed, he suggests his alternate idea. Keith- who usually thinks Lance’s ideas are dumb, automatically jumps to the conclusion that his idea is going to be. Before he can argue, though, he works it out and sees that maybe Lance’s alternate route is a good idea. 

People disagree with the way he wants to complete something, in season 2, Lance comes up with the idea to form Voltron in a situation and everyone vouches against it, however 30 seconds later, they end up forming Voltron, like he said, anyway. 

Another reason, people also think little of him, they underestimate him, and that all starts with the Garisson. He was told that the only reason he ever got at his fighter pilot class was because his rival was kicked out of school, and without that he shouldnt have even been there. Again, he feels out of place, and like he doesnt belong. Then, his idol, his hero, Shiro, shows up, and when he finally feels like he has a purpose, like he could accomplish something amazing, but then Keith shows up. Even then, he doesnt give up, he is like “um excUSE ME BITCH I CALLED SAVING SHIRO FIRST” And once again, he doesnt want his rival that always beat him to do that once again. 

And again in season two, there’s clearly favoritism happening between Keith and Shiro, and Lance is jealous of course. Like, he finally gets to meet and work with his idol, and when he wants to go with Shiro on a mission, SHiro chooses Keith over him. Man, I wonder why he’s so overdramatic about it. Its not like he was treated the same damn way at the gaRISSON OR ANYTHING NAHH

No, but clearly, he has an inferiority complex, especially when it comes to keith, because he knows hes better than him in every way.

People in the show also deny that he has any good skills, and even he himself starts to believe it, when sorta venting to the yupper. (i die a little inside whenever i see it)

I loved it when shiro gave him praise for once because it was specifically for him and not directed at the whole time. It was good job LANCE

And honestly the pride on his face was so heartwarming like omg thank you shiro for ackowledging him

im probably going way off track but anyway 

daily dose of what its like in my mind 24/7 lmao

I hope in season 3 they kinda bring his insecurities up again as a sort of conflict i mean- with Keith possibly becoming Black Paladin, Lance is probably gonna be hella jealous and im sure thats gonna instigate a fight between them, and now theres not really a mediator. So. Fantastic…..

Guys i feel like a lot fo stuff goes right back to shiro, how lance probably aspires to be like him, or be good in his eyes and therefore be good for the rest of the team but hes having this inferiority complex because he feels unappreciated. Like hes just that annoying guy they dont really need and they could replace him if they wanted to, and keeping all of those thoughts hidden or masked by this confident facade is like

lance youre gonna break at some point 

I hope lance gets the recognition and the acknowledgement he deserves in season 3 i swear he better not be tossed under the rug.

Bill Skarsgård x Reader

Prompt: Bill and reader gets into a fight (Requested by itsthecomet) 

Warnings: None 

Originally posted by wellclutchmypearls

Originally posted by geordieshoregifs

You sighed as you called your boyfriend for the freaken 10th time that night. You knew he was consistently busy with his acting career but you still liked at least knowing he was alive enough to say “Hi”. You had sent him at least 50 messages and now were calling him pacing back and forth in your apartment.

Your fingernails were bitten down to the nub, your hair was messed up from constantly raking your fingers through it, and you were sure you looked like crap.

“Hey this Bill, sorry I couldn’t pick up the phone right now-”

You cursed just about ready to throw your phone against the wall but held back and pressed the end call button. Once again not available. Should you be concerned he was cheating on another woman? I mean you had heard him talk about this beautiful blonde who he was supposed to kiss in a movie who kept flirting on him constantly.

Yet he would always remind you that he was in love with you, not her. Beauty was in the eyes of the beholder and to his eyes you were his diamond beauty. At least that’s what he claimed. You continued to pace biting your finger this time and constantly turning on your phone to see if you got a message.

Nope.

Still nope.

Nope.

Nope.

You already know the answer…

Finally 11:00 pm rolled around and you were sitting on the couch watching the old 90’s cartoons on the TV trying to take your mind off. You kept constantly looking at your phone ever once in a while, bouncing your leg and glancing from the phone to the door to the TV again and again.

Finally you heard the door lock click and straightened up suddenly awake as you stared at the door intensely. Bill stepped through and pulled his keys from the door handle with his jacket draped over his arm.

“Oh, hey babe! I wasn’t expecting you to be awake.” Bill said smiling.

You didn’t say anything and watched as he hung his coat in the closet by the door before heading over to the kitchen.

“I made dinner for you…it’s cold now.” You said your voice dry and showing obvious annoyance.

“Oh I had dinner with my buds at the pub.” He said casually as he opened the fridge and poured himself a glass of juice.

You dug your nails into your arms struggling to bite back from snapping at him.

“What’s wrong babe?” Bill asked walking over.

He sat down next to you and attempted to wrap his arm around you but you escaped his grasp and crossed your arms, “What’s wrong? What’s wrong?! What’s wrong is that you didn’t text me all day! I sent you over 50 emails and called your phone at least 10 times!!!”

“I’m sorry my phone died.” He apologized.

“Well…what’s that on your neck?!” You demanded nearly shouting.

Bill jumped and raised his hand to his neck covering the bruise, aka hickey on the side of his neck with a faint but noticeable bright red lipstick stain.

“In this scene we had to do Jessica and I had to have a make out scene but she enjoyed it too much.” He explained.

You narrowed your eyes your blood boiling at the mention of that blonde bitch, “Are you cheating on me?”

“Calm down-”

“No! No I’m not gonna calm down!” You shouted, “Your cheating on me with that blonde bitch!”

“Will you just listen!” He shouted raising his voice as well.

“No I will not listen! Because all you say now a days is lies! This is the 3rd time this WEEK you’ve done this!” You shouted louder.

“I CANT HELP IT IF IM BUSY.”

“YOU NEVER TEXT ME SAYING HEY BABE HOWS IT GOING OR HEY IM GOING TO BE BACK HOME LATE!!!”

“BECAUSE WE AREN’T ALLOWED TO HAVE OUR PHONES ON THE SET!”

“EXPLAIN THE HICKEY ON YOUR NECK THEN! HUH?!”

“I TOLD YOU IT WAS BECAUSE OF THE SCENE.”

“STOP FUCKING LYING!”

“I AM NOT LYING!!!”

You couldn’t take it anymore and stormed over to the front door slipping on your shoes.

“Where are you going?!” Bill demanded.

“I’m leaving!” You spat rushing over to the door.

You threw the door open and just narrowly escaped Bill trying to grab you.

“(Name)!” He called watching as you ran down the hallway.

Bill cursed and slammed the door shut kicking the door as well before slumping against the wood and raking his fingers through his slicked back hair. He let out a deep breath through his mouth and leaned his back against the door. Bill knew his career was really stretching out your relationship.

He was constantly traveling and hardly ever had a chance to call you since he was so busy. And lately he’d been coming home late due to the director wanting to finish the movie sooner.

God he was such an idiot

Meanwhile you were outside walking down the street late in the night. It was cold and you were sure your fingers were numb from hypothermia making you wish you had grabbed a sweatshirt before you left. You just needed to distance yourself from him…or never return. Seeing that hickey on his neck had just made you snap.

You were just…you were just so stressed out. With your job being sucky, your boss yelling at you, your co-workers not bothering to work and just…everything. And then Bill coming home late didn’t help much with your day. You realized you were crying and wiped your face with the back of your hand.

You looked up from where your feet were guiding you and found you were at the local park. This was where you had met Bill. You were walking your friend’s dog Tidus when he started barking at a squirrel and had broke the cheap leash to chase after it. Bill was in the right place at the wrong time right next to the tree the squirrel had decided to climb up.

Your friends dog was clearly a big dog and after he saw his prey had ran away he noticed Bill who was staring dumbfounded. Despite his size Tidus was a friendly dog and laid down next to him putting his head on his lap for Bill to pet. You came rushing over frantically apologizing and of course he was cool with it.

You tried to take Tidus away but he was a stubborn dog and wouldn’t let you take him. He placed his head in Bill’s lap signaling he wanted to be with him. So Bill had to walk with you home to get Tidus to move and that’s how your relationship began.

Walking your friends stubborn dog.

You had been dating for 3 years now but due to Bill’s acting career everything’s been putting a weight on your relationship. Not money of course but not seeing or communicating with each other. Everyday he wake you up and give you a quick kiss before leaving for the entire day. You couldn’t remember the last time you both had just woke up and spent hours just curled up together dozing off occasionally.

You finally decided to sit down on a wooden bench that only made you feel colder. You were violently shivering uncontrollably and noticed you could see your breath floating in the air as vapor before dissolving. You laid down on the bench and curled up as best as you could using your arm to prop your head up.

You closed your eyes and drifted off into sleep.

Sometime later you stirred when you felt a heavy fabric being draped across you. You opened your eyes and saw Bill was in front of you looking concerned with his phone pressed to his ear.

“She’s alive-she just woke up now.” The man said to who ever he was calling on his phone, “Alright. Thanks Alex.”

You sat up and whatever was on you slumped down. You noticed he had placed his wool jacket on top of you and put it on the smell of his cologne still lingering on it.  coat.

“I’m…so sorry (Name) I didn’t mean to-I…”

“It’s okay.” You said softly burying your cold nose into the jacket.

“Im sure you wanna go home now?”

You nodded and opened your arms making him grin and laugh a little. He easily picked you up and carried you back home allowing you to doze off on his shoulder. When he arrived back home he had to set you down in front of your building which you whined about that he was forcing you to walk.

He just ruffled your hair and wrapped his arm around your shoulders as he lead you back to your apartment. As soon as you walked in you made a b-line for the bedroom you and him shared and quickly changed into pajama bottoms and one of his shirts before crawling into bed. Bill followed behind you and smiled noticing you were already half asleep.

He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer to him so you were spooning. He kissed your neck making you groan that you wanted to sleep and he smiled and lovingly said, “I talked to my agent and I got tomorrow off so we can cuddle as much as you want. Sound good?”

You turned around so you were facing him and smiled,

“Do you really need to ask?…”

Epilogue: So yeah I have more Bill Skarsgard prompts I will post so he excited for that! Thanx for reading! =)!