im not saying its demons

hypocrites
  • Aries: wants everyone to love them but can't love anybody back
  • Taurus: wants people to appreciate what they do for them but forgets to appreciate people
  • Gemini: is the flakiest person alive but hates when people flake on them
  • Cancer: is highly emotional but hates when people are too emotional around them
  • Leo: is super flirty with everyone and it means nothing but hates when people flirt with them when it means nothing
  • Virgo: wants people to be direct with what they want from them but is constantly passive aggressive
  • Libra: wants everyone to support them but forgets to support others
  • Scorpio: wants to read your every thought but hates when people are intrusive
  • Sagittarius: wants respect and to be heard but is oblivious to the wants of others
  • Capricorn: is impassive but hates when people are expressionless
  • Aquarius: wants you to be there for them always but can't be there for you ever
  • Pisces: is preoccupied mentally all the time but hates when people can't give them their full attention

shadowhunters fluff/sitcom/everyone is happy universe episode 1: pet shop

jace wants to get a pet to therapeutically heal from the falcon story and the gang goes along for moral support

once confronted with all the pups and kits and adorable faces the gang is suddenly much more invested and investigate ‘for jace’

luke is kind of bummed at first bc he used to love animals but now that hes a werewolf animals are always scared of him. but he doesnt want to ruin everyone elses fun so he tries to stay out of trouble and drifts to the back where he finds a wall of reptiles. one thin green one seems to be looking right at him. ‘just like harry potter’ luke thinks, smiling to himself. it is just like harry potter, luke. he tentatively reaches into its cage and picks it up. it wriggles around in his hands contentedly and wraps itself around his wrist. its smooth cold skin is refreshing since luke usually runs pretty hot since the change. he turns around to show someone his new friend (hopefully simon since hes always been terrified of snakes) and sees magnus holding a 30 pound yellow python around his shoulders. ‘just like britney’ whispers luke. ‘JUST LIKE BRITNEY!’ cheers magnus.

izzy and alec, meanwhile, gravitate towards the kitties and puppies respectively. they playfully banter over the differences between cat and dog people, quickly becoming less casual and more competitive. they give each other a look. cut to 10 minutes later theyre giving their troops battle speeches before they send them down the racetracks and obstacle courses they made out of treat boxes, jimmy jabs style

clary and simon go with jace to look at the hamsters and mice and bunnies. jace, with at least 2 tiny soft little furballs in each hand and a tear in his eye: ‘theyre okay i guess.’ simon and clary politely ignore his sniffling, even when he uses a guinea pig’s fur to dry his tears. clary and simon are good friends. theyre all amusing themselves picking out animals that remind them of the rest of the gang when simon says ‘guys. uh.’ by some wacky twist of circumstance simon has managed to release every single rodent in the store. ‘we should tell someone’ simon says intelligently, eyes wide with worry. ‘NO WE SHOULDNT WE CAN HANDLE IT’ jace and clary whisper frantically, eyes wild with determination. as it turns out, they can not handle it. they can not handle it at all.