im not really good at making graphics as you can tell =.=;;

In bed with... Taeyong

MASTERLIST

Anon: In bed with taeyong??;))

Anon: Heya so I’ve seen the in bed posts tht have been written for monsta X and was wondering if you could do a in bed with taeyong? Thankyouu ❤️

I’ll read this whenever Yuta is trying to pull me into his lane - I must remain loyal to Taeyong and Hansol. This is so fucking long like wow, y’all better be thirsty after this, especially after how many people wanted it. Get some water and a pillow to scream into afterwards bc you will feel very dirty after this lmao… Enjoy ;-)


In bed with… series:

Originally posted by briileechaiyapornkul

Originally posted by taeyongd

Originally posted by muraldepaleta

sorry but these gifs are so hot like hdfbsidhbfjd sorry bout this

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fawnvanilla  asked:

Psst you got any good sick or injured Keith fic recs?

OK! finally getting around to answering this. sorry it took so long but ive like literally had to go through all of my bookmarks to find some, and even then the ones im about to rec are pretty loose on the sick/injured Keith.

Needless to say, theres lots of angst, some have happy endings, some dont. Ill add the warnings in for each rec


Finding Home by spacegaykogane

Warnings: N/A
Summary: After the wormhole collapses, Keith finds himself stranded on a strange planet. Alone. Until Lance comes along.
With their lions dead and resources limited, Keith and Lance need to put aside their differences and work together to get home.
Wherever that may be, now.
WC: 26966 (6/6)
General Notes: Its the typical fic of Lance and Keith getting stranded on a planet post s1 wormhole collapse. From what i remember its told mostly through Keith’s pov and I enjoyed it for all its worth. 7/10

we’ll make it, you and me by asexualrey

Warnings: Major character injury
Summary: “Keith, if we make it out of this alive, I’m going to kiss you.”
WC: 6421
General Notes: I really wish i remembered more of this one, i can only tell you that it was good. Lance is the one that ends up hurt the most, but like both of them are pretty beat up. 8/10

The Six Gun Sound (Our Claim to Fame) by Mytay

Warning: N/A
Summary“We’re not robbing the bank of the biggest crime lord here, Lance. Do you have a death wish?!”“Let’s just do our damn best to not die. I am too gorgeous to expire this early, dude — I haven’t even hit my prime yet.”Six weeks after crashing landing on this miserable world, the Red and Blue Paladins are on the verge of losing everything. This is how Lance and Keith turned it all around and earned their badass reputation as The Two McClains: Mercenaries That Get The Job Done.
WC: 13181
General Notes: They both get pretty scuffed up in this one, and its more of that dynamic duo action. i really love these two as space mercenaries/pirates. 8/10

Keith’s Scar by 61feathers

Warning: N/A
Summary:Keith and Lance comfort each other later after Keith tells everyone he is Galra.Lance didn’t get the chance to tell Keith his scar is actually really sexy though.
WC: 1134
General Notes: Short and sweet post ep8. You know that shoulder injury he gets, all about that. 8/10

all we have to do by akinghtley

Warning: N/A
Summary: Keith gets hurt during a mission, and Lance is not sure how to handle that.Lance wakes up on the floor outside of the medical bay, jerking wildly, body a mess of aches and twinges.
WC: 19418
General Notes: summary pretty tells all there is to this fic, and its pretty much all this, and Lance not knowing what to do with himself really. I loved it. 9/10

Don’t Forget to Remember Me by CamelotQueen

Warning: N/A
Summary: Keith recognizes him immediately. Alarm bells go off in his head. This person is important, he thinks. He wishes he could remember.“Keith!” he exclaims, “Look who’s finally awake. How are you feeling today?”Keith falters. His mind is working a mile a minute trying to recall this person’s name, what he is to him.“Um… who are you?” he asks dumbly. He immediately regrets it._______Keith suffers from dissociative amnesia.
WC: 4107
General Notes: a;sdkjgnasah this fic, holy shit, keith with amneisia kills me. my heart hurt the whole time, ust ughhhh. He’s not necessarily hurt but Lance is there taking care of him and boy, the domestic life suits them, but damn does it hurt. 10/10

Homecoming by Thesis

Warnings: Major Character Death
Summary: Two deaths and one funeral. Keith has trouble readjusting to Earth and Lance has trouble dealing with Keith.
WC: 9845
General Notes: I’m emotional over this still and i havent read it in forever ok/ thats all i gotta say. 9/10

bruises by Chaosandthecalm

Warning: N/A
Summary: “Show me how much you hate me.”Keith wants to know what Lance’s problem is. The answer might surprise him.
WC: 3632 (3/3)
General Notes: Boys being boys and being idiots. What can you do. 7/10

Of booty shorts and Injuries by Queerklancing

Warning: N/A
Summary: Keith is sure that he’s having a heart attack. Or that he hurt his brain when he fell earlier. Because it’s simply not possible that the boy who’s sitting next to him is not a hallucination. How could someone so gorgeous just sit in an emergency room at night?"Keith and Lance unexpectantly meet at the emergency room in the middle of the night.
WC: 23862 (4/4)
General Notes: lmao this one is great, def not as heavy as the others, but both of these doofuses get injured. keith is a hockey player and lance has legs for days. enjoy. 10/10

Prison Bonds by GriffinRose

Warning: N/A
Summary: Keith and Lance are captured and stuck in a cell together, but it’s not the Galra. They almost wish it was. These Cordalians feed off of emotions, and their favorite emotion is sadness. Worse, they’ve found a way to make their victims relive their worst memories to make that pain fresh again, and Keith has a lot of terrible memories he’d rather not relive.
WC: 18925 (8/8)
General Notes: just read it. please. 10/10

Heroes by battleshidge/Amiria_Raven

Warning: Graphic Depictions of Violence
Summary: “My mom always hated the Garrison and what we were supposed to do there. I never got it. How can you despise the idea of being a hero?” Lance laughed a little here, dryly. “But I think I understand now.”He took a shuddering breath.“Because heroes aren’t meant to survive,” he choked, and then buried his face as the tears started falling again.
WC: 8463
General Notes: askgjnafbab, lance breaking down in this fic hurt my heart. 8/10

of florists and tennis shoes by venpast

Warning: N/A
Summary: 'Lance wasn’t sure if he’d imagined the brief tremble at the corner of Keith’s lips or not, that slight stutter that promised a smile. But before he could guess further, Keith gave his knee a shove and got to his feet. He reached out to him, “I’m done here, and I’ve still got some daisies to sell you.”“Yeah,” Lance agreed, looking down at the extended palm, noting the little Saturn tattoo on the inside of Keith’s wrist where the sleeve hiked. He took the hand, “better not overprice those too, you asshole.”’(in which lance is a broke university student trying to impress a pretty girl with flowers, but ends up falling for the florist that sells them instead.)
WC: 63774 (11/11)
General Notes: This isn’t the kind of physical hurt that most people think of, but Keith does get emotionally hurt in this one and it just breaks my heart. i really loved this, its wonderfully written, and its just, wow. 10/10

Echoes of the Past by Gigapoodle

Warning: Graphic Depictions of Violence
Summary: It was his fault. He shouldn’t have retreated – he should have ran after them, Galra forces be damned, and ripped the red paladin right out of his weaponized hands, shooting the commander dead on the spot.But he hadn’t. Lance stood there, frozen with adrenaline and fear, before backing out with tears in his eyes, justifying it to himself by saying, ‘he won’t get far, we can easily get him back once I have Voltron with me.’He’d forgotten they didn’t have Voltron. He’d forgotten that without Keith, Voltron was nothing.Keith is Galra. Keith is gone. Keith is Galra. Keith is gone.
WC: 28197 (yes one chapter)
General Notes: this is more along the lines of keith finding out he is galra and hence running away its still one of the best fics in this fandom imo. 10/10

i can’t help but want by aknightley

warning: N/A
Summary: Lance deals with the aftermath of being sucked into a black hole and stranded on an alien planet.When Lance wakes up, all he can see is blue.
WC: 16921
General Notes: more of klance being stranded on a planet post wormhole collapse, and just yes. 10/10

Just Static by Jessadilla/wobblyarms

Warning: N/A
Summary: –Static—–iro, Hunk, Kei—, nybody? I’m—–static—-I’m sorry guys. This is all my—-static–cc—–I found my coordinates. They’re—stttcc–guys. I hear something—–scccc–end transmission-Alone on a hostile planet, transmissions aren’t getting through. How did it come to this?
WC: 84141 (16/16)
General Notes: just holy fuck. this fic made me cry, like straight up. it is more than likely one of the few fics that have made me cry, and i dont cry easy. 100/10

The bidders when they fart

i cant believe im doing this yet here i am shitposting

pls dont take this seriously lmfao

@yumascarrotdick here’s the farting headcanon lmaoooo

if you want shitposting @maidofstars @2bedroom-baddestbidderlove @bolt8826


Eisuke: This little shit’s the type to blame others as soon as he farts, but everyone already knows it’s him because he’s the only one who’d make a big fucking deal out of it. His farts aren’t that loud or anything, really. In fact, they come out in cute little “toots.” He’s secretly embarrassed at how lame his farts sound. 

Soryu: Silent but violent. His farts are barely audible, so normally he’d be able to get away with it, if not for the god-awful smell. With the sheer amount of omelets he consumes daily, his farts always smell like rotten eggs mixed with Satan’s asshole. No one can hear him fart, but they all just know it’s him based on the odor alone. When people make fun of him, he brings out his gun to shut them up.

Baba: He has no shame whatsoever. His farts are like a classic whoppee cushion—not too stinky, somewhat loud, but annoying as fuck. He likes to make a big joke out of his farts, sometimes purposely sitting beside Ota or Mamoru just to piss them off.

Ota: In his defense, he tries to be stealthy about it. He always raises his voice when he feels a poot coming on. Also, he farts in tiny intervals to soften the blow (and hopefully, pass it off as nothing). Still, sometimes he isn’t able to control his mini-farts, so his little toot becomes a loud-ass horn.

Mamoru: He’s another person who just doesn’t give a damn. His farts are loud and proud, and best of all, they smell like absolute shit. They’re so bad, that the bidders have cleared the room every time they hear (and smell) the rancid shitstorm that comes out of his ass. Too bad he doesn’t give a shit.

Shuichi: He tries his best not to fart in public as much as possible. He usually holds it in the whole day, but at the expense of his comfort. Sometimes, he has this face that looks like he’s concentrating deeply, but no, that’s just him desperately (and painfully) controlling his sphincter muscle. When he’s finally, finally alone at home, he lets out a fucking cannon.

Luke: For some reason, he has no problem announcing his farts beforehand. He’s the type to gingerly lift his butt up to let the fart out, and it comes out sounding like a deflating balloon. One time, the others teased him about it, so Luke, with a straight face, explained the entire intestinal gas dynamics of flatulence to them, complete with morbidly graphic descriptions. They never made fun of him again.

Hikaru: He tries to play it off cool, but he’s cursed with having those awful wet farts. Hell, his farts sound like those diarrhea-esque sharts that give you a heart attack because you just fucking know there’s going to be something in your underwear. Poor Hikaru always has to go the bathroom to let out an air biscuit, lest he face public humiliation.

MC: She must have been a goddamn saint in her previous life because she was blessed enough to have those soft, barely-there farts. Her farts come out in gentle tufts of air, somewhat like little bubbles popping in a bubble bath. Everyone is completely baffled at how her farts barely stink at all, and she tells them it’s because her luck is so shitty that she deserves at least one good thing in this godforsaken life.

anonymous asked:

How do you even become cosplay guests with no skill?

LOL I can’t tell if this is sarcasm or honest seriousness but, here’s what I got! 

First and foremost, being a convention guest is not just an honor and a priviledge, it is a job. 

A job that has responsibilities and expectations, and should be treated as such. When Sylar and I go to a convention as a guest, we are 100% working. 

We have a work resume for conventions, a contract, a portfolio of programming, and more. Because that what you are really, programming. Even if all they want you to do is sit at a table and sign things, thats still programming. Its your job to   represent the convention, and give con goers more content for the tickets they bought. You owe it to them to make sure your 100% postive, there, working, and providing something they can’t get anywhere else. 

And all con guests are asked to attend for different reasons. Some cosplay guests are asked to come because they are widely known for their technical skill and they will provide programming related to that. Or they simply have a huge fanbase, and are keeping their fanbase happy at your location, therefore spreading that market around. 

Sylar and I work hard on our panels. We’re also trained speakers. Both he and I have taken classes, in college, about public speaking. We implement that and our presentation experience into all our panels. As well as our meet and greets at the table, interviews for the con’s media (there is a ton of backstage media going on that most con goers don’t know about. A lot of con time for guests is spent locked up in some empty room giving an interview,) and any floor time we have. 

We also have 7 yrs experience working conventions. We have run cafes, hosted events, planned gatherings, organized raffles, done mutiple panels and workshops. We’ve also worked as Guest Liasions ourselves, written out program guides, sat at registration tables, and MCed masquerades as well as judged them. All things that involve systems, filling out paperwork, knowing how to handle negative situations, and doing menial tasks. Heck, we’ve even done set-up and break down for dealers halls. We know cons. 

And this is something valued because honestly, its not a job for everyone. 

Lots of cosplayers out there with amazing technicality skills just don’t like catering to crowds. They aren’t good speakers. Or they don’t have it in them to sit at a table for 6 hours just listening to strangers speak and ask them questions. Or they might hate having to write out workshop forms. And thats okay! But thats the difference between who gets asked to guest and who doesnt. 

Guests have to be okay with not getting time to shop, not getting time to hang out with their friends, and devoting all their energy to the convention goers. Devoting their whole day to smiling and talking and making sure everyone who meets them goes away happy. 

If you are interested in coming a guest, awesome! My biggest tips are; 
Figure out what service you can provide to the convention experience. What are you good at that you think a con needs? How can you expand that? How can you turn it into programming? Are you a health nut – maybe do a panel on dieting and working out, anime style!  Awesome at writing and editing? Fanfiction panel! A cosplayer who loves acting but hates sewing? Think about being a commentator for Cosplay Chess or the AMV contest! 

Start volunteering now. All cons need volunteers and this is the best way to gain experience in the feild, just like any other job. I have friends that started volunteering as security for a con and now they run a convention of their own. No joke. It’s also helpful to know and understand the inner working of how a convention is run if you plan on guesting at one. It helps you help them by knowing what types of panels work best, what programming would work for that con specifically, or even just give you ideas on what their budget for you might be. 

Write. A. Resume. Seriously. Just like you have a resume for job searching, write up a resume for cosplaying. How long have you been cosplaying? How many costumes? What skills do you have? Armor making? Public speaking? What experiences? Any awards? What topics are you an expert at that can be turned into an hour of programming? Put it alllllll dowwnnn in youurr resummmee. 

Also, protip, you can always write to a a convention’s program director yourself and ASK to be a guest. It’s a job. Submit your application.

Hope this helps! 

And funnily enough – this is all information that we talk about in our panel, Cosplay and Convention careers. Where not only do we cover working for cons, but we cover translating cosplay and con work into LIFE CAREERS and how to translate being in a maid cafe to a resume for a 5 star resturant hostess. Lol. My entire Graphic Design resume is pulled from cosplaying. And now I am a full time graphic designer for a state university.

it seems a heavy choice to make

requested by anonymous

philkas au in which philip tells lukas about selling his body to keep him and his mother afloat

*trigger warning. im not getting graphic or anything but it’s insinuated. so just tread carefully. this is not a feel-good fic.


Lukas doesn’t push when it comes to Philip’s past. He knows there are things in it that Philip doesn’t want to talk about, and he believes Philip when he says nothing is important enough to bring up.

This isn’t something Lukas ever thought he’d talk to Philip about. Mostly because Philip never mentions it himself, and he assumes that means it’s to be avoided in conversation.

But here they are, and Lukas doesn’t know why the question is hanging so heavily on his tongue, when it hasn’t before.

Maybe because someone at school made the comment. Maybe it’s the fact that Philip winced when the kid said it. Maybe it’s because he backpedaled out of the cafeteria faster than Lukas had ever seen him move.

Regardless, here they are, Philip sprawled on his back across Lukas’ bed, Lukas sitting in his chair at his desk, trying to figure out how to broach the subject. He spins in the chair slowly, pencil tapping against his lip.

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ladies and gentlemen, we are floating in space

word count; 6,670

warnings; sex, nudity, unreality, small mentions of gore

pairings; cecilos

summary;  About a week ago, Carlos asked Cecil out on their fifth date. He said he wanted to go to on top of Hecate’s Peak, a hill on the east side of the small town. Carlos was wondering if Cecil would like to maybe come along with him, for scientific reasons, mainly, of course. He was going to study the stars, and the constellations in the sky that night. It was supposed to be a full moon. Cecil, of course, said he’d love to, because who could pass up an offer like that? Helping a scientist with his work? Let alone going stargazing with said scientist. On the night of the full moon? Sounds like a perfect date. Cecil thought it was kind of cheesy, though. It wasn’t really an original date, because gazing at the stars has been an overused, yet incredibly romantic, trope going on in pop culture. But then again, he isn’t complaining either.

a/n;

this is for day 5 of cecilos week 2017! (january 29th - february 4th) although it won’t be reblogged to the main blog, i still feeling like stating that. i was originally going to post this on february 14th (valentine’s day) but this event came up so i got it done much earlier than expected! so thank you cecilosweek on tumblr for motivating me!! this is the first fic i wrote of the bunch so im hoping i can get something done for every day of the event.

SO this officially is my first smut fic and to my extent it isn’t really…. graphically smutty? to be honest, i focused more on how they were feeling than what was going on physically. to cut it short, i really like the turnout of this, and i hope you guys like it too! <3

p.s. click on the bolded part when cecil goes to the weather !

p.s.s. you can find the fic on ao3 here!

excerpt;

“This is so nice, Carlos. You’re so nice.” Cecil said, half-awake.

“You’re nicer.” Carlos said, shoving a scone into his mouth. “Hey, babe. You see that group of stars right there?” he said, pointing at the sky.

“Kind of. What about them?”

“They make up a constellation known as Orion. It’s one of the most known constellations.” He took a bite of his scone. “It was named after the Greek hunter, Orion. It’s really cool. I have a picture of what it’s supposed to look like in my notes.” He grabbed his scrapbook and flipped through it quickly. “Here, take a look at this.” He turned his book so Cecil could see it, and pointed at the picture. “Isn’t space neat?”

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sometimes i get really sad - and then i remember that these people exist, and i feel a little better. (a non-comprehensive list, or we’d be here all year.)

alphabetical, but… the first shout-out must go to @seahenge for being one of my very best friends for the past 3 years. love u elise.

A-B

@a-mi-zivi: sara!! you’re funny and i like you. if you ever catch me spelling your name wrong, please give me a good kick.

@angelxcakes: i kinda love you, meri. (i haven’t forgotten that i owe you a graphic!! im posting it on fuffy day.)

@anyasbunny​: is there a sweeter human being than giulia? how can so much talent and loveliness be packed into one person??

@bimarthajones​: lucia!! bc of you i will probably start lucifer. you already know this, but!! (i predict i will love maze the most. maybe? possibly??) anyway, i hope school is going ok <3

@buffyfaiths: chelsea, i don’t know if i’ve ever told you how much i love your gifs? no one else’s colouring compares, imo. we don’t talk, but i always admire how strong you are.

@buffylovesfaith: one day i want to go on a Great American Road trip to hug all of my friends in the usa. meet me there? i love you clementine xx

@buffysummere​: lucie, i adore you. what would my dash be without your gay posts about buffy summers?? a sad place, that’s what.

@burntlikethesun​ and @oodlyenough​: not to get all fangirly, but ben and kali are the only two bloggers i’ve been following since i first joined tumblr as nowrunalong in 2013. they’re both funny and clever and have great opinions about… well. pretty much everything. i’ll stick with you guys for as long as you’re on this hell site tbh!!

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300+ followers to celebrate! I never have been one to care for keeping track but there are just too many of you that I appreciate for any of you to go unnoticed. I thank you all so much for sticking with me and my muse for Tamaki as we venture through Tumblr together. Now let us celebrate with a few notable shoutouts to my baes! 

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How To Love A Girl With A Mental Illness:

1. The meaning of “unconditional love” will be made clear to you the first time she turns away and shuts you out, shaking and volatile and shattered and impossibly out of reach for someone so close. She is a windstorm in the Sahara— a tornado that only spins in one place, do not take it personally when the force of her wind flings you away. Instead, begin the long, lonely walk home. Do not falter in your love or trip on your own ego— the walk is longer and more lonely for her, trust me. 

2. In the middle of the night, when you find her on the kitchen floor staring at the clock with the kettle long-over-boiled, do not ask questions. Just join her in silence: try to convey without word or touch that you’re not going anywhere. Mean it. Sit until the clock ticks past 3, 4, 5, 6 a.m. Brew the cup of tea, bring her her jacket and scarf. Take her hand and walk until the sun rises. Watch it in silence. Hope she understands that this will happen every morning; she does not need to watch the clock to keep the world going. Remind her that, even when she feels its weight on her chest in the dark of the night, the planet can take care of itself. Understand that you will need to repeat this often.

3. There will be good days. Days where she sings in the shower, sings in the car, sings in conversation because the hummingbird in her chest has taken flight, however temporarily, and her ribcage is finally free of its panicked, beating wings. Be exactly as present on these days as the bad ones. Offer to take her out— when she says yes, pick somewhere quiet and calm. Understand that a good day does not mean a cure. Understand, too, that a good day will feel like a cure to her. Hold her hand regardless.

4. Learn to become comfortable with the silence, however awkward it may seem to you. This is not about you. Understand that, sometimes, everything that needs to be said can be found in silence. Understand that, sometimes, nothing needs to be said.

5. Some mornings, she will wake up already drowning in the ocean of herself. Some mornings you will wake up to her nails digging into your skin, clinging to you for dear life while she fights off the waves that nobody else can see. Some mornings will look like dark skies, and her mood swings will feel like right hooks to your jawline, and everything is grey and bruised and purple-black and your lips will clamp shut under the weight of everything you don’t know how to tell her.  Take a breath. It’s okay. You don’t have to have all the answers.

6. When you come home from work or grocery shopping to find all your shades drawn and all the lights off, don’t panic. When she finds herself imprisoned in your bed at 3, 4, 5, 6pm, she doesn’t need you to tell her it’s a bad idea. She already knows— she’s been there since she woke up, she’s had plenty of time to think about it. Instead, leave the shades down. Leave the lights off. Sometimes the only way to deal with the sadness is to sit with it. Kiss her forehead, remind her that you love her. Leave the door open a bit. Brew a pot of coffee. Watch all ten seasons of How I Met Your Mother and keep a tally of Ted’s awful jokes. Do a jigsaw puzzle with your eyes closed. Write all of your worries into a journal. Wait it out. Depression doesn’t give a damn about you or your schedule but, eventually, it will pass. Everything will pass. When she comes out of your room and offers you a sheepish smile or a terrible joke, take it for the apology that it is. Take her hand and offer her a cup of coffee. Do a jigsaw puzzle with your eyes closed. Watch all ten seasons of How I Met Your Mother and kiss her every time Ted makes a terrible joke. Remember that a bad day doesn’t always mean a bad life or a relapse.

7. Understand that victory doesn’t always come with trumpets and banners and fanfare. Sometimes, victory is quiet and subtle. Sometimes you won’t even realize it’s a victory. Some days, victory will look like remembering to take a shower, wash the sheets or pick up bread and milk from the 7/11 two blocks south. Some days, victories will look minor to you. Remember that they are victories nonetheless. React accordingly. 

8. Even the worst days only have 24 hours. This too shall pass. 

howinthehelldidigethere  asked:

Hi. I've seen your work and your absolutely amazing. And well I'm not really sure how to ask this but, where would you suggest getting started..? I've been drawing all my life and now I'm trying to get into animation and I've researched and even tried jumping headfirst into animating but I don't really have any direction. How did you first start out..?

Hi there! Thank you so much for the kind words. Sorry for the very late reply, I have been very busy with work lately - but I’ve always been dying to answer this ask for a while now.
Like you, I didn’t really have a direction when I first started animation. Growing up, the study of animation was never a popular field with my south east Asian friends  - so there was no real access to any professional animation desk and tool there. I’ve experimented with Flash a lot, making stick figure fight scenes, little skits and animatics, and just mere tests. I’ve always surfed around online communities with people who also shared a similar interest in animation. I think that helped a lot, and it gave me a more niche focus on the medium itself. So from my education and career so far, here’s what I can advice how non animators can get into animation.


1. Get a software or equipment to animate with.
When I started animation, I’d say it was with Flash. Flash for me was accessible, and it could do the things I needed it to do. It wasn’t until later on, I studied traditional animation and focused more on a classical training. However - if you just want to just start animating and experiment with the medium, I’d say get a software first. Experiment with timing, sequential drawing, poses, just get the hang of the medium itself. Flash (now called Animate CC) is a popular choice within the internet, but you can also animate in TVPaint, Photoshop and Toonboom. I have been trying out the open source software that Ghibli and Dwango released for free (its called OpenToonz, I’ll def make a video for that someday), and for it’s value; it can be a pretty good animation software! I’d say just try it out digitally with a drawing tablet, and see if its something you still want to pursue - then I’d recommend studying it traditionally! The reason I say this is because that one requires a lot more patience and discipline, so I’d recommend people to try it without investing too much on it before you are really interested.
You can practice animation basics like the bouncing ball, the squash and stretch, arcs - just to get that feeling of animation in general. 


2. Get the Animator’s Survival Kit by Richard Williams
I don’t usually recommend books because the goals of one book can be different from the ones that are reading it. However, Williams’ Animator’s Survival Kit is basically that - a Survival Kit. It’s my go to book when I need help on timing tips, spacing, walk cycles - there’s a lot of basic yet useful information in that book for both beginners and adept animators. I still use it time to time. The great thing about that book is that it breaks down the mechanics of why good animation works - and shows how you can achieve the same thing. There’s a lot of great things you can refer to from that book when animating. 

3. Study scenes from animation you like!

You can like the sakuga style of animation, the disney old school, the experimental, the don bluthy, the looney tunes, study the ones that inspire you. Things like basics and mechanics can be taught - but studying animated scenes you like will help you think more about placing your drawings. You can study them by redrawing the keys, watching it frame by frame, and breaking it down analytically. 


4. Join online communities!
This helped me a lot when I was still trying to find an interest to study after high school. The animation community online is so big - theres a lot of access to community help! Yotta Studios has recently set up online animation forum - and everyone there so far has been pretty swell to deal with. A lot of talented folks there too! You can post your work in places like those - tell them your goals and what you are trying to achieve - and im sure you’ll get some great feedback. The 11second club is an online monthly challenge where artists can animate to a line of dialogue (usually 11 secs long) and submit it for that month. There’s a forum there too - but I haven’t used it in such a long time.


5. Get a hold of animators you admire
This one is tricky because the folks you may admire might just as well be very busy. However, if you get a hold of someone you respect and ask them for their guidance, they can steer you in a direction that can help you grow. From my experience, I was told from my mentors that my work was too “all over the place” - so they adviced me to keep things more subtle, controlled, and less frantic. One of my mentors told me to think more about giving life than thinking too hard about the overall performance - and wisdom like that from a veteran animator can help a lot. Although some may never respond - it never hurts to ask!


6. Start getting the hang of drawing fast and loose
I’m not sure what one’s drawing background may be - but animation (especially hand drawn) requires a more gestural mind set. You’ll be drawing a lot more in quanitity than illustrating a fine detailed piece - and you’ll also need to draw bolder/graphic statements. Things like tying down and fine tuning a drawing can come later - but for hand drawn animation - they usually look for the performance in the acting, the timing, and how pushed the poses are.

I hope this helps! I find it hard to give advice for non animators because I have to think a bit more vaguely, but those are the top ones I can think of at the moment. I might have made it sound intimidating because it is in a way, a lot of work - but it is a fun medium to work with,

-Toniko

Pushed Over the Edge (Yoongi)

note to self: listening to 4MEN’s ballads while writing angst is a recipe for some angsty angstier angst. but really i love that this request allowed me so much freedom but it also gave me a a couple specific directions to choose from. 

if you have more requests like this (please refer to this for some options) for the other members, let me know! i’m still working hard on other requests as well. thank you lovelies for your patience <3

Genre: angst makes me cry

Word count: 1349

Rating: S for I always make yoongi Swear like a sailor im so sorry (language, involvement of alcohol, implied suicide)

**WARNING** please do not read this if suicide is a trigger or an uncomfortable topic for you. there is nothing graphic mentioned but suicide itself is clearly implied so please read with discretion.  

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Psychedelica of the Black Butterfly Prologue 01-04 Translation + Video

Prologue 01-04     Prologue 05-07


(σ゚∀゚)σ  Yooo sinners~! I’ve gotten asked to translate this game in the past and I was kinda ehhh about it. But then I heard loads of good things. Nil Admirari was another one requested to me a lot. You have to consider though, I have to buy the games I translate. I can’t be spending hundreds of dollars on games since I don’t work. ヽ(´▽`;)/  I chose psychedelica because I liked the system set-up better and the atmosphere. Plus I’m a sucker for amnesia plots. No one knows shit in the beginning of this game.

This will be a test run. If people show interest, I’ll continue. If not, I dunno haha.

“ψ(`∇´)ψ  ALSO. VOICED HEROINE. COOL EFFECTS/TRANSITIONS.

Prologue is 7 parts long. This is the first half.

Video is raw only. (´ω`*)  Translation is the post. I hope you enjoy~


~~[Prologue: Part 1]~~



*Scenes Flash By Until It Stops At A Bus In The Rain*



*Muffled Voices*



???: Ahh. I see. I guess that’s true. It’s something that can’t be undone.



???: What do you mean?


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The BBA: Past and Future

Hey everybody!

First off I’d like to say thank you very much for following - you are my very first blog followers, and I am flattered that you are interested in what I might have to post on here.

One of the reasons I never had a blog before (besides being inherently terrible at keeping up with stuff, even basic human tasks like laundry and dishes) is that I was never quite sure what I’d say.

I think the majority of people know my name with its connection to The Blackblood Alliance, so maybe it makes sense for my first post If I explain a little why I discontinued the project in the first place, and now why I think it’s worth picking back up again to run in a new direction with it.

The first book I ever bought for myself was White Fang. I read the shit out of that book. And I always was a fan of sequential art. Calvin and Hobbes was an enormous influence on me (I mean wasn’t it for everyone?) and one day, around 17 years ago I started drawing my own adventure comic. I didn’t have any “real life” friends, but I had internet friends (yeah, i was on the net super young) and so I brought us together on the page. And oh yeah we were dogs. Because dogs.

Notice that this is page 92. Every day I would sit there and just draw whatever came into my head. No planning, no “plot”. I eventually started to bore myself with coming up with “ok who pops out at them after they spend a few panels walking and shooting the shit?” and dropped it to entertain myself with god knows what other weird passion struck me at the moment.

I spent a few years doing “funnies” for small local publications, like the highschool newsletter and the Newsletter of the dogsledding organisation I was involved with.

“Stumpet and Meep” was about an obsessive white pomeranian with a dark imagination who was in love with her owner. “Kaltag” was about friendless, clumsy sleddog who is terrible at his job and collects Last Place trophies because Hey It’s Something.

The vast majority of these were 3 to 4 panel strips and are lost to the ages (probably for the best, I have always been terribly unfunny) but here are a couple that I still have.

In the one above, I found that I quite enjoyed the more “serious” panels of Meep’s world as a wolf. So I thought maybe I should explore that.

I grabbed stack of printer paper and a pencil and sat on the bed and again, no plot or ideas or plan, drew this:

At this point I had a Deviantart account so started posting this up for my (again internet) friends who played Furcadia and were also interested in wolves, and the rest is history.

A while later, a reader did some fanart for me. I liked it so much (especially her beautiful environment painting) that I asked her if she would like to team up with me. Together we redid my old pages to make some prettier stuff. For comparison, here is one of the last pages we produced:

We were definitely producing something that looked pretty good, if I may say so myself. I was never ashamed at how our work looked. But as we went along I became aware of a fatal flaw in the work: I was still writing page-to-page, flying by the seat of my pants. No real plan for anything that was happening. No arcs for any of the characters. Readers waited for sometimes MONTHS for the next page, most patiently, some not, because I was wringing my hands trying to decide what was going to happen on that page.

At this age - I think I was around 17 or 18, I was really impatient with fans and critics alike. I snarked at people who copied my designs too closely and I’d react defensively to criticism. I’d also be outright rude to people I thought were stupid. My public persona stirred up enough dirt that a small pocket of vocal haters cropped up, and then grew. Someone made an Encyclopedia Dramatica page about me, someone went through and altered all the speech bubbles in the comic in a parody, and people were trolling my Deviantart daily, telling me how terrible I was and wishing cancer upon me, etc etc. Amidst all this though, there was always a large number of people who just straight up liked the work and just wanted to see the next page, but somehow I tuned that out and only seemed to notice the hatred.

Offline I was dealing with social anxiety, bad relationships, an eating disorder, and dropped out of college. When my mom was diagnosed with terminal cancer I left my job too. The online pressure on top of all that was getting to be just too much - I was avoiding facing the internet - didnt check email or deviantart or my forum that I’d started where hundreds of members roleplayed in my fantasy wolf universe. People were trying to get a hold of me saying the moderators I had in place were doing crazy stuff to eachother, not to mention just tons of member drama I didnt understand, didnt know how to solve, and just didnt want to deal with.

A typical artist, my greatest fear is of failure. Things weren’t looking too good, I hate myself, everyone hates me, my work is headed nowhere, so why try? Failure is embarrassing. Better not to try and no one see your face, no one know your name, no one see your ugly messy attempts than to try and fall short and be shamed.

When my mother passed away, I lost any stability I had in my life and just broke. I was stuck in a deep mire of depression and never touched comic work again.

Blah blah ok enough life story bullshit. Im not writing any of this stuff to be felt sorry for by the way. I think a lot of people experience things like that - it isn’t anything special. I just want you to know why I suddenly stopped a project that a lot of you I presume had some sort of interest in. So there is all is, the honest truth about it.

In short though Ive spent the 5 years getting my shit together. I think I’m finally there, in a good place.

So what does one ideally do when youve found a good place? Do what you love, I think. And I really love making comics.

I considered starting an entirely different universe, in a different time period with different characters that were different animals. And yeah, I still want to make animal comics, not people comics, because I like talking animals and there aren’t enough of them in comics and graphic novels. Superheroes still dominate.

But even if I didn’t like the story details, I always liked the Blackblood Alliance world, and I think thats what other people liked too. Abandoning that forever seemed sad. So I decided that it needed to be what I worked on next.

I can’t just pick up BBA where I left off because I want to make something that lives up to the high standards I hold myself and my work to. I see clearly now that The Blackblood Alliance’s production was flawed, and I can’t unsee that. It needed direction. I’ll spare you the details but I learned a lot about the value of planning, organization and direction from my last job. I think I can apply what I’ve learned to a new approach for The Blackblood Alliance. 

And I’m not gonna lie, the constant outpouring of support from lovers of the BBA is where I draw a lot of my confidence, inspiration and motivation to continue its development.

I am very flattered that after all these years, you are following me and still have interest in seeing what happens next.

On my DA I will be chronicling the visual concepts and storyboards for BBA production. I will put those things on this blog as well, but I will also include more in-depth writing regarding planning and development process. I will always be open to questions, criticism and feedback, so feel free to contact me through DA. 

Thanks again for your continued support. I dont know where’d I’d be without it!

~Kay

// Im replaying Jumin’s route for the first time in so long and I forgot how cute he is when you laugh at or enjoy his jokes oh my goodness

Zen

- He doesn’t go on youtube too often, but he does have a channel that he’ll update sometimes. It’s not too big, around thirty thousand subscribers but still! Totally would have more if he uploaded more.

- Which is why he doesn’t recognize you at first, so you’ll need to show him a few of your videos.

- He thinks they’re really funny and it’s pretty amazing you have so many subscribers?? Damn he has some competition with all those fans.

- With video games hes not amazing, but he’s not bad either. He’d love to be in your videos with you if that’s okay!

Jumin:

- What is a ’ Lets-Player? ’

- You’ll need to tell him what that is, he doesn’t get how people find entertainment from it but he’s fine with it.

- Play Grand theft auto with him!! He likes that game.

- He doesn’t really like to be in your videos too often because he feels like he ruins them with his “monotone personality” but he’s adorable to watch, the little pout he gets on his lips when his character gets wasted is adorable and your fans think so as well. He enjoys playing with you too.

- Spoils you with really nice equipment and lighting.


Yoosung:

- AAA!!


- AS SOON AS HE MEETS YOU HE KNOWS WHO YOU ARE

- He’s seen your videos before thats you?!

- A nervous wreck honestly, he loves video games but you’re a master at them! He’ll be too shy to go on your channel at first but eventually he’ll open up and come on sometimes, even starts his own channel doing LOLOL tips and tricks.

- It’s not as popular as yours but he fanboys over you a lot, even in the relationship. You’re basically a celebrity, he’s dating someone famous?! Never in a million years would have thought he would.

- He loves doing challenges with you!! Like the chubby bunny, drawing challenges, photobooths. They’re always really fun.

Seven:

- He knew since he hardcore stalked you did a background check on you and binge watched your videos that night instead of working.

- Will LOVE making videos with you, especially playing horror games. When you squeal he thinks it’s the cutest and promises to protect you from the scary virtual monsters.

- He’s such a meme in your videos it’s highly requested that he makes his own channel.

- If he did it would be bullshit memes like we are number one but every single one is replaced by carl wheezer

- or the bee movie in 7 minutes because he thinks things like that are hilarious

V:

- He mainly watches cooking tutorials on youtube so he doesn’t recognize you at first

- But he’ll watch some of your videos and comment on what a cutie pie you are, no wonder people love to watch you as much as he does.

- If you’re an american youtuber it’s hard for him to be in your videos because speaking english is hard for him.

- It’s not that he doesn’t know it, he can write it and everything it’s just his accents rather strong and when he speaks sometimes he’ll get his words jumbled up.

- And he’s not the best at video games but it’s fun to see him try his best!! He has a really nice time and he’s great around a camera so he doesn’t act stiff at all which your fans like to see.

Saeran:

- He’s watched people on youtube play horror games before but he’s never heard of you whoops


- He thinks your videos are rather cute, when you play horror games your reactions are funny and adorable.

- Prefers to not go in your videos often, but sometimes he will.

- If you’re American he’s a lot like V, his english speaking isn’t the greatest but he tries!!

- He doesn’t even jump at horror games more of less cringes at lines or graphics half the time.

- If it’s a really well made horror game he’ll be a little scared, says he’s not but you can tell in his reactions that he’s is a bit jumpy at everything but he’s pretty good at hiding it.

Guys Who Can't Handle Rejection (Learn from My Mistakes in Dealing with This Type of Man)

TW: Allusions to graphic violence and rape.

So, a few weeks ago, I began talking to a POT who contacted me seeking a dominant sugar baby whom he could serve - financially, sexually, etc. Seeing as how overly dominant sugar daddies tend to be overbearing, controlling, and annoying most of the time, I was intrigued by his proposition. We messaged back and forth a bit, on and off, for about two weeks and had a Skype call that went really well; we had a lot of chemistry, he seemed very sweet, and he was willing to fund my lifestyle - pay for me to move to NYC, my rent, expensive designer items/gifts, etc. It seemed too good to be true. It was.

After our Skype call, I went to bed with a smile on my face, thinking I had found the best of both worlds - a submissive sugar daddy, one who would give me a good allowance without expecting anything in return except the ability to please/serve me. But the following morning, I woke up to a long message from him telling me he was in debt due to his previous domme/sugar baby and that, in spite of his high salary, he had accumulated so much debt due to her demanding nature that he would not be able to meet my financial expectations. I thanked him for his honesty and wished him the best of luck on his search. I thought that was the end of that.

However, he messaged me back the next morning begging me to still pursue an arrangement with him and Skype, message, etc him on a daily basis. He was acting as if, because he liked me and thought I was special, I was expected to feel the same way about him and behave accordingly. Although his sense of entitlement both sickened and annoyed me, I tried to remain cool, calm, collected, and - most importantly - classy. I try to avoid burning bridges whenever possible. I told him that I appreciated his interest but was seeking someone who could afford my monthly allowance. He immediately became agitated and sent me several messages in rapid succession calling me short-sighted, cold-blooded, cruel, selfish, insensitive, etc. I ignored him, he eventually stopped sending me messages, and I didn’t think I’d hear from him again.

But then, last night, about a week and a half after we stopped communicating, he IMed me on Skype. It was as if he did a complete 180 since the last time we spoke; he was polite, apologetic, appreciative, and very complimentary. I didn’t buy it though. And sure enough, he revealed his true intentions by asking me to reconsider and trying to guilt me into entering into an arrangement with him - IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT I MADE IT VERY CLEAR I WAS NOT INTERESTED BECAUSE HE COULDN’T AFFORD MY ALLOWANCE. I politely refused a few times and then, when I realized he wouldn’t take a hint, I said, “This conversation is going nowhere,” and promptly began ignoring him.

Then he showed his true colors. Here are just a few of the awful things he said to me (I removed his Skype name, as tempting as it was to leave it in for all of Tumblr to see)  -

[12:05:38 AM]: It’s going here…
[12:05:48 AM]: I’m just telling you you’re awful.
[12:05:52 AM]: Ok dear?

[12:12:25 AM]: You’re a fucking monster. And I hope you meet a sugar daddy rapist who tears your cunt apart.
[12:12:58 AM]: Now hurry off to a bloody young death.

[12:13:11 AM]: Fuck a knife whore.
[12:13:18 AM]: I’ll jerk off to your obituary.

Keep in mind that I did not say anything in response to any of the messages he was sending to me. I was actually on Tumblr as he went on his little tirade and didn’t see his hateful comments until 20-25 minutes later when I checked my Skype account - only to see 20+ insults and ill-wishes in a row. Seeing how violent, angry, and hateful he was shook me to the core - to think I almost met this guy! I blocked him immediately after I saw his rapid succession of messages to me.

LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES.

Block someone immediately after they reveal themselves to be an unsavory character. Do not give them the benefit of the doubt. Do not give them a second chance. Do not even give them the chance to apologize. As soon as they hurl an insult at you (no matter what the reason is), do not waste any further time, energy, or patience on them. If they do it once, they will certainly do it again.

I cannot emphasize enough the importance of completely cutting off contact with these low-lives; do not merely ignore them. They feed off of knowing you are seeing/hearing/reading their hateful comments. They thrive on the attention, in spite of the fact that it is negative attention. Protect yourself - and I am not just referring to protecting your feelings, self esteem, etc. Anyone who is that emotionally unstable might not be content with just trying to hurt you emotionally, verbally, etc. They may want to hurt you physically as well. DO NOT give them any access to you.

Actions speak much louder than words. Anyone can say they’re willing and able to meet your financial needs, but take every offer with a grain of salt. SDs lie just as much and as often as SBs do. Don’t believe everything you’re told, simply because you want it to be true. I overlooked the red flags and gave this man the benefit of the doubt because I wanted this arrangement to work out the way I envisioned it would. I focused on how good it could be rather than the reality of the situation. Don’t make this same mistake. Your time is far too precious to waste on those who are dishonest, manipulative, unstable, etc.

Be smart and stay safe out there. xo

Can i ask for one where you and Michael have a car accident and when he wakes up he thinks you’re dead and refuses to talk to anyone till they take him to your room where you’re recovering from the injuries and fluffy please?

AN so fun fact about tonight I literally deleted my entire masterlist on accident because I’m a complete and total idiot. When i die please put ‘complete idiot, never knew how to tie her shoes right’ on my gravestone. I know how to tie my shoes, but they do come undone quite a lot. So I can’t do it very well I guess. Be careful with this imagine guys, it’s a teeny bit graphic. Also i’m writing in metric units bc since it’s michael’s pov he’s used to metric rather than english k? Alright well enjoy the imagine ily guys xx omfg I had the most trouble with this one and this is mainly the reason why I didn’t update bc im so FUCKING BLOCKED anyway move along

Michael’s POV

“Road trip!” Y/N cheered beside me. She strapped her seatbelt on, and grinned madly as I climbed in after her.

“Relax babe, we’re just going to Taco Bell,” I reminded her from the driver’s side.

“Yeah, but we get to go some place, I’m tired of watching you play League all night.”

“You love watching me play,” I fake pouted.

“Just about as much as Rudolph loves reindeer games. Come on, turn on the car Mikey, I’m starving for Doritos Locos Tacos™!”

“You always are,” I laughed, and pulled out of the driveway from my apartment.

“Can we listen to music?” she asked, looking over at me. I kept my eyes on the road, and laughed again.

“Why do you always ask me that, you know the answer, just plug your phone in.”

She plugged in her phone, letting Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy blare in my car speakers. “You know,” she piped up after singing along to the song. “I’m glad you got your license, it was tiresome having to drive you around all the time.

I rolled my eyes, looking over at her while we were stopped at a red light. “Stop reminding me I got my license at 19, okay? I know I’m late, but at least I got mine.”

“You had to ride your bike everywhere, it was hilarious,” she started laughing, and I stuck my tongue out at her. Just then, the light turned green, and I started to go. Driving through the intersection, it seemed as it were just us on the road. It was two in the morning, and I doubted that anyone wanted to be out on the roads at this moment in time.

“Michael, look out!” I heard Y/N scream, and we were rammed by some car, running a red light right in the middle of the intersection. We were lucky we were the only ones out tonight, or the damage would’ve been more catastrophic. We were blindsided by a Nissan Murano going 90 kph. It smashed into our car, sending us rolling, and my instinct was to grab Y/N, to make sure she was safe, but before I could, I blacked out.

I came to in sporadic places while riding in the ambulance. They were inserting random tubes, trying to get me to remain consciousness, but all I could do was ask about my girlfriend. Where was she? Was she okay? Did something happen to her? Why wasn’t she with me? The EMT didn’t answer any my questions, and instead asked me questions about myself. By then I had passed back out.

The white blinding light of the hospital was the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. I had been hoping to see Y/N’s smiling face next to me, but she was nowhere to be found. You’d think that they’d tell me by now if she were alive. They were just stalling, I knew she was too good to be true. Just a girl and taken from me just like that. I got so upset, that my eyes begin to water.

“Do you know where you are, sir?” the doctor asked me.

“Where’s my girlfriend?”

“Sir, do you know where you are?”

“Do I look like I’m fucking stupid? Yes, I know where I am, let me go to my girl, she’s worried about me.” I started to sit up, but the doctor advised me to lay back down.

“You’re in the hospital, you were in a car crash, do you remember that?”

“I remember, now let me see her!” The doctor stood in my way from getting up, and I was ready to deck him. Who cared about these stupid fucking questions when the health of my girlfriend was in question?

“We need to ask you a few questions first.”

“Why won’t you let me see her, is she dead? Oh fuck, please don’t tell me,” my words started to wander into complete gibberish, and by this time the doctor was getting nothing out of me. I wasn’t coherent.

“We’re just trying to figure out why you got away with a head wound, and her injuries were more serious.” That was the first helpful thing I’ve heard anyone say.

“How bad is she?” My tears had stopped flowing, and I tried to remain as calm as I could. My breathing wasn’t steady, though. The doctor’s eyes softened as he looked at me. I hated his pity, but if I was going to see Y/N, I had to deal with it.

“She’s going to live, if that’s what you’re wondering,” he told me.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and slumped back down. “How soon can I see her?”

“Three days,” he spoke before turning on his heel, walking away. He knew I was going to lash out because he was out of my room fast. I needed to see her, and I started taking the things off my arms, why wouldn’t they let me see her? Was she really that bad?

The alarm of me dying went off and nurses rushed into my room, only to see me removing my wires. “What are you doing?” one of them asked me.

“I’m going to see my girlfriend,” I stated, matter-of-factly.

“Oh honey, it’s not a good idea to. She’s not in a stable condition.”

“I don’t care about that. If you need me, I’ll be in her room, and I won’t leave. You can’t make me.” I started to get up, and in my head was an ear splitting scream, and I sat back down. “Once I figure out how to get there.” And then it hit me, I had absolutely no idea where her room was. “Do you guys mind pointing me to her room?”

One of them pointed toward the wall, letting me know she was right next door. So she wasn’t in ICU, why wouldn’t they let me see her? She was next to me the whole time, why was the doctor being such a dick?

I climbed out of my bed, giving the nurses a stiff nod. Their help was better than the doctor’s at least, but still of barely any use to me or my girlfriend. I stumbled over to her door, attempting to stand up with my splitting headache.

“Y/N?” I said carefully, opening her door. She moaned in response. She must’ve really been banged up. “Y/N, it’s me baby.”

“What do you want,” she groaned.

“I wanted to see if you’re okay.”

“I’m dying,” she moaned dramatically.

“You’re not dying, just malfunctioning.” I started to laugh as I sat down next to her.

“You’re making fun of me.” She pouted and turned away from me.

“Just a little bit, I gotta keep you humble,” I laughed and she smiled a little bit. I was thankful that she was okay, and that it wasn’t too bad on either of us. She just had a couple broken ribs, and my head was in pain, but she still lit up my face like no one else could.

“It hurts to laugh, I hate you.”

“I love you too.” I kissed her forehead,  and she smiled a little bit.

“We never did get Taco Bell. I’m starving.”

“We’ll get Taco Bell later.” I ruffle her hair and she snuggles into the pillow, closing her eyes. I always liked having her near me. As she fell asleep, I sat next to her. My head may hurt like a bitch, but it gets less noticeable the more I look at her. She always eases my biggest pains.

I’m going to tell y’all why it makes sense that Stavo is involved and I give no shits if anyone doesn’t like it because it makes sense. Many of the things he does can only be explained for the puroses of helping the killer, otherwise they’re unnessesary scenes that play no point to the show at all. 

Dude is creepy, dude has always been creepy, dude could be involved. 

Contains spoilers, from many epsiodes including S02E11.

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10 things i’ve learned in 25 years.

There are 72 hours separating me from 25. *looks off into the distance*

Last year, my 17 year old cousin called me old. This was the first time that it actually occurred to me that somehow our 7 year difference meant the world to him. Keep in mind, this is the same cousin who called me fat when I was 14 years old. Basically he’s been responsible for two very super-sensitive self aware moments of my life. What an asshole.

When I first thought about writing this I was confused on how to put 9131 days into one-sentence “lessons”.  Surely I would have at least 100 statements to make.

I struggled to find 10. Shit, I’m a lot more boring that I thought. 

Plus, writing some long, reflective post about what I’ve learned in 25 years makes me 1) Sound like i’m some kind of life guru now that I’m officially too old not to know how to do my taxes and 2) Sound like i’m dying tomorrow because I’m 5 years away from thirty.

I did it anyways. And because studies show that if you’re in my age group, you’ve already stopped reading this, let me get to it: 

1. I’ll never have my shit together.

One of the weirdest things friends tell me is how much “i’ve got my life together”. What the hell does that even mean? Almost everyday, I think about how I can open a business that will do this, or how I should be going to school full-time. Or how being a house wife sounds divine. There is no book or formula I’m following. Just because I have more than one dollar in my bank account doesn’t mean I’m responsible.

Nothing goes according to the plans. And guess what? NO one has their life together. Ever. It always changes; that’s the nature of waking up every morning. Its just a game of those who can easily bullshit their way through life and then its those who can’t. We’re all confused here. Welcome to the tribe.

2. Happiness is a feeling, joy is a choice.

Happiness is an emotion. At any given moment you’re either happy or you aren’t. Its a descriptive word. Joy is a choice. You choose to be positive. You choose to smile. 

Take any given day to assess your thoughts and feelings. Are they positive, or are they negative? Consciously choose courage over fear. Determination over Defeat. And joy over anger. 

3. You can have it all. If you humble yourself and have patience. 

The WORST cliche statement ever? You can’t have your cake and eat it too. 

WHY IN THE HELL ELSE WOULD I WANT CAKE?!

The thing is, you can be happy. You can have a good job, a good apartment, a good boyfriend, etc. You can have tattoos and be gainfully employed. 

I’m speaking from experience. Here’s the thing. When I saw my boyfriend for the first time, walking in eating cake and being completely unaware of how cute he was, he wasn’t the 6′3″+ requirement I had in mind for a guy. And if I was petty enough to let that stop me from flirting with him, I wouldn’t have a guy who loved me even when I twist my hair at night and look like Kendrick Lamar’s twin, and who is just weird enough to think im really cute.

If I would have taken a super shitty job as a media coordinator for an insurance agency in galveston because I hated my old job so much and had to be out there, I wouldn’t have seen the awesome job I have now.

Life doesn’t work on your timeline and doesn’t follow your rules. And in most cases, its for the best. Your dreams can be realized. And if they haven’t been by 25, its fine.

4. Relationships are WORK.

This means work relationships. This means how often you call your parents. This means actually communicating with your significant other. Remember those moments where you could blow off your job in college because it wasn’t a real job? Welp, that’s not the case when you start your career. Remember when you called your mom because you needed money? (How can I ruin my body with everclear tonight if I only have 4.32 in my account? *calls mom*) Now, you actually value [some of] her incite and you can do fun things together like getting wine-drunk at chilis. Remember when your relationship was as volatile as an Eminem song (before he got sober)? Yeahhh, that doesn’t work anymore. 

5. Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.

This applies to EVERYTHING in life.

6. Starbucks is shitty coffee.

….I know it. My bank accounts wish I would stop going there.

7. Family is important.

As much as my family is the super conservative but somehow democrat blacks that you often find in the south, I love them. Because I know they love me no matter how much we disagree. 

So, I make a genuine effort to care about their wellbeing. 

8. Its fine to get help. 

Chances are if you grew up in a black household, the chances of going to therapy are slim to none. Thats “for white people” or “crazy”. My favorite black counter statement to therapy is “go to church”. Here’s the thing; just like craft projects, some people can DIY life, and others need help or a guide to do it.

Before therapy, my life was one big ass pinterest fail project. Therapy helped me assess my feelings and manage my behaviors. It helped me through depression. I wish more parents cared about their children’s mental health. It could mean a wealth of difference.

And FYI: Most insurance covers therapy. Go get help.

9. There has to be something you like that you don’t get paid for. Our elders call this a “hobby”.

The thing I love about us millennials is that we’ve become millionaires off our hobbies. I mean my job is running social media. This didn’t exist when I was a kid.  Hell these jobs barely existed when I was in high school. See, I love social media. And I do kinda love graphic design. And on my personal pages, I’ve assembled thousands of followers over a short amount of time. But its something about doing it for a living that takes from the fun of it. I’ve had some of you ask why I haven’t updated my profiles in some time. 

So this is why I say-find something you love that you will NEVER do for money. I haven’t find out what that is for me now that social media isn’t my fun space anymore, but in the interim im trying a little bit of something new every week.

10. Health is wealth.

There is no size associated with health. However, no one one wants to be tired when they’ve done one set of stairs. And we won’t be 15 forever. I can’t continue to live off Tiff’s treats, and continue believing the 5 dollar rotisserie chicken i got from walmart is me “watching what im eating” (especially if I pair it with Mac N Cheese). 

Honorable Mention: Being unapologetically black is awesome; but comes at a price.

It took me 22 years to love being black. I spent most of my life, inspired by mainstream ideals and supported by family and friends’ thoughts that my hair was offensive in its natural state, that my skin color was unattractive; that the inflections in my voice categorized me as “ghetto”. It wasn’t until the end of college and since that I’ve found the beauty in being black. In embracing what it means to be black. However, being unapologetically black can come with downsides; it can mean you don’t get a job because of your hair, or your name. It can mean discussing issues like racism make others uncomfortable at your job and get your in trouble. However, it also has benefits. It allows you to embrace the variety in your culture. It allows you to explore blackness. 

I’ve learned (because its not taught in schools) that my blackness doesn’t start at slavery and MLK isn’t a cornerstone of our history. 

Oddly enough, if you think about it 25 years is just the beginning of life. I’ve spent the first 18 poor , naive and super financially dependent and the last 7 making really bad young adult decisions and praying my way through college. So lets pour wine, (while regretting getting drunk mid-week in the morning) and toast to at LEAST 25 more.