Maybe it’s because I’ve been listening to Everybody by Logic on repeat all day and it’s hitting an emotional string but I just need to rant on here because I just… have so many emotions right now. I️’m nearing the one year anniversary of an incredibly traumatic couple of months in my life and I can’t help but sit here and be amazed by how far I’ve come.
I started going to therapy in March of this year. It was a weekly ordeal where I sat in, dumped my emotional load for the week, and tried to figure out what that meant for me mentally. I’d ask for tips to help me cope with my severe depression and anxiety, and try to apply them to things that triggered me each week. As time passed, I became shocked to find that these things actually WORKED. I was getting better. Not only that, I found that going to therapy wasn’t always necessary for me every week anymore. As much as I loved seeing my therapist, I knew that conversations were becoming less focused on my mental health and more focused on every day life in its beauty and mundaneness. This was because the ways I️ coped were helping me live life functionally, and overcome the setbacks my mental health used to present.
Now here I️ sit, still mentally ill but 10000% in a better place then I️ was in March of last year. This journey has not been pretty. I️ still find myself facing setbacks quite often. Not even a month ago, I️ had a panic attack so severe that I️ almost blacked out. But I️ knew what to do to make myself better. I️ knew how to build myself up again and not let one low moment degrade the rest of the progress I’d made.
This has been a huge milestone in my life. I’ve had mental health problems since I️ was a kid. To be able to say these past few months have been some of the happiest of my life brings tears to my eyes. I️ have so much gratitude towards my friends, family, and therapist for walking with me on this journey. Most of all, I️ have pride in myself for getting myself to this point. No matter what lies ahead, I️ know that I️ can get myself through it. I’m ready.