im not implying this is normal

anonymous asked:

hi! i think im a demiboy/trans boy and i feel fake bc i havent "known" in my whole life like i havent felt my whole life tht im a boy .. it makes me feel guilty

tbh the “born this way” shit is really bad because not only does it make people like you who didn’t always know their identities feel like they’re faking, but also it implies that the only reason you’re not cis is because you can’t help it, and you’d be cis if you had a choice. Basically it turns “respect sga/trans/nb people because they’re people” into “respect sga/trans/nb people because they can’t help not being ~normal~ and they deserve pity.”

Also I know people in my trans group who realized or started IDing as trans/nb after they already had careers and kids and shit. We’ve gotten asks from people exploring gender in their 40s/50s. Identities are fluid because you are fluid. You are not a static person. You grow and change and you have different experiences, so of course your identities and the way you interpret said identities are going to grow and change with you.


anonymous asked:

If someone comes out you as trans, how should you react? Saying something like "I kinda guessed" or "that makes sense" is rude and could easily alienate someone because it implys that they don't act 'normal'. But saying something "that's cool" or "that's nice" is just fucking rude in general! Would saying you feel honored that they trust you and that you support them fully be to much?

i typically just say “oh that’s awesome! im so proud of you! thank you for telling me! i fully support you” and then i proceed to ask them their name and pronouns. be happy for them, obviously. but don’t be overdramatic because that’s annoying lol.

anonymous asked:

If this blog is just a joke, Im happy, including this is a really bad joke. If this blog not a joke... well, I think, better for you, if you dont know what Im thinking about it... And, Mod Opal, I hope, you know, fifteen year is not a big deal, and Its the middle of the teenager ages. In this years, its normal if you wanna find someone, or something to hate. In this age, teens hates everything. Dont worry, if you grow a little, you will calm down, and can live your life without hating anyone.

I’m really not sure what point you’re trying to make but no, this is not a troll blog if that’s what you’re implying but it could be called a joke since “cisphobia” is a joke. 

- mod opal

anonymous asked:

i thought i was bi/pan up until very recently when i realised that i dont want to date boys?but i feel like its not rly bc i dont find them attractive and more bc ive had so many bad experiences with men that i could never trust one?so like even though i know id never date a boy i dont know if id call myself a lesbian bc im technically attracted to them i guess?but i dont want to call myself bi bc it would imply that id date a boy?this is mostly just a rant i guess but idk if u have any advice??

what i did (and it really helped me) was examining all my close relationships with men i’ve had in the past. were they primarily based on seeking the guy’s approval? did you like the boy, or did you just like the idea of having a stable hetero relationship? did you do it to show that you were “normal” to your peers?
of course, its 100% fine to identify as something and then realize you are something else. you’re still valid. you don’t need to put labels on yourself either if it makes you uncomfortable. and, if your sexuality stems from trauma, that doesnt make your sexuality any less important or real or valid. i hope this helps 💚💚

anonymous asked:

I do t know what to do, I recovered from anorexia 5years ago.. Ive never had an amazing relationship with food since then but I guess that is normal. Anyway recently Ive started to think more seriously, like how I did the first time and half of me is glad and the other half is scared and doesn't want to go through it again. I want to tell someone but im scared they will think im attention seeking, its not even something you can just blurt out😭

I mean, I wouldn’t really say that it was “normal” not to have reestablished a decent relationship with food when you are five years into recovery. Without wanting to undermine the progress you clearly have made, the content of your message implies to me that although you manged to move away from your struggles with anorexia, that difficult relationship with food remained, even if this was below the surface and did not impact upon your daily life. Now it sounds as though these difficulties are becoming more prominent again, for whatever reason, and as a result the disordered thoughts and urges are returning. The fact that you are scared is not surprising, but neither is the fact that you are glad - the former emotion is likely fueled by your healthy, rational thoughts, whilst the latter stems from a disordered place.

Whilst I appreciate that the way you are feeling right now is not something you can simply “blurt out”, it is important that you do reach out to someone. I would suggest that you talk to someone who knows about your previous struggles with anorexia, as they are far more likely to take your current struggles seriously - which is what needs to happen, in order to help you get the support you need to challenge these urges and ensure that you don’t relapse. I would very much hope that no-one would think you were attention seeking anon, but some people are ignorant - hence why i suggest you speak to a family member or friend who knows of your eating disorder history, but also please keep in mind that even if somewhere were to accuse you of attention seeking, that is simply their opinion, and thoughts are not facts. In reality, seeking help when you begin experiencing disordered thoughts when you are in recovery from an eating disorder is very sensible and logical, as you are taking steps to protect the progress you have made in overcoming your eating disorder.

If you had a therapist or doctor who was involved in your treatment last time you were unwell, I would suggest that you get back in touch with them, as in addition to potentially needing support right now in order to prevent you falling back into old habits, I have a feeling that there are further underlying issues which need to be addressed before you are able to entirely move away from your eating disorder, and develop a healthy and balanced relationship with food and eating. All the best to you anon. x