im not as funny as i think i am i know

okay, i don’t hate kids. i think they’re sort of funny. i like that you can talk to them like an adult and they’ll make sounds like they understand. i taught one kid “phosphorescence” and he looked at me and said, “they could just call it glowing if it means something that glows.” the kid undid the entire science community in one sentence.

but i hate kids.

or really, i hate how they’ve always been expected from me.

when i was five i was given “babies.” i hated the hardness of dolls, disposed of them for dramatic stories between stuffed animals. i knew how to wrap, feed, and care for a baby before i could spell my last name. when i was nine i was already “watching the kids”. i was only four years older than my cousins were. i wanted to go out and play. instead i was expected to have responsibility. by the time i was thirteen all of my friends had told me about how many children they were going to have in their twenties. 

my hips were “child-bearing” hips. my brother was a scientist, or a fireman, or a steamroller. i was going to make a good housewife, or mom, or nanny, or mom, or mom, or mom.

and when my body hurt, i was told it wasn’t really my body, not really, it belonged to my future children. i couldn’t cut or snip or tie anything; i was trapped by the potential energy that hung above me. a boulder, threatening. i couldn’t get tattoos, because what would i tell my children? i couldn’t kiss a girl, because what would i tell the children? i couldn’t be risky or wild or anything but a lady, because what about the children?

and when i said “i don’t want children” - not biologically, at least, not when cancer and depression and a whole other host of terrible things lives inside me - do you know what they said? “it’ll change, wait and see” “it’s not bad” “you’ll get used to it” “when you meet the right man” “you don’t want to be lonely”.

i don’t hate kids. i’m great with them. 

but then i’m told again that my life will be forfeit to them - something in me snaps angry. “wait until you have kids” “you should travel before you have children” “you’ll be more happy.” 

i hate kids! i’ve snarled. i don’t mean it at all. but god. please, leave me alone. i don’t want to be a biological mom. 

it’s like we’re born with a uterus and told “this is your whole life. your singular purpose. your job.” 

i want to be my own purpose. not here for the sake of passing genes on.

“Villainous”: Why you shouldn’t  throw hate to this show

Okay, so over the past days you may noticed a lot of fanart and posts about a particular show: “Villainous” (or “Villanos” in spanish). This is actually a mini series that is transmited between comercials for Cartoon Network México. Is about a villain (Black Hat) who tries to make the most evil and succesful artefacts for villains, along with Dr Flug, Demencia and 5.0.5.

So, what’s the problem with this mini-series?

There’s a few flaws that people have been complaining about, the most important of those being Markiplier voicing 5.0.5, a problematic artist (LemonTeaFlower) working on this show, etc.

Ignoring those facts, “Villainous” is pretty funny and entertaining to watch, and the animation and art style is really good. Is not the humour that everybody likes, but I personally enjoy it. But actually neither the characters or the plot are the reason im encouraging you to support this show.

This is the first ever cartoon (for Cartoon Network) created entirely by mexicans.

As a mexican, I can’t describe how happy I am to know that my country is finally making big steps in the animation industry, this is a huge opportunity for people like me, who aspire to be an animator but don’t have the resources to get out of their country.

And, if this show gets enough positivity and fame, Ai Studios, the animation studios who made this show, might actually do more cartoons! Better cartoons, with better plots and characters!

Let me tell you something, if Ai Studios doesn’t start making more cartoons, there’s literally no job opportunity in Mexico for aspiring animators. You either go to the U.S or forget about animation.

And yeah, this show might seem cringey, (well, it started developing in 2007, what did you expect?) and as I said it has some problematic aspects, but I dont think this is the right time to start making callout posts and discourse blogs for this cartoon. It hasn’t even aired in the U.S yet and there are already pleople complaining. And I don’t blame them, I would callout those things too if I didn’t already know how important this show is for Ai Studios, how important this show is for mexicans.

Many of the people who complain about it don’t even know that this show is made by mexicans and the opportunities it could give to us. So, what i’m asking you to do is simple.

Don’t throw hate at this show.

I’m not asking you to praise it, I’m not asking you to make fanart for it. I’m asking you to leave it alone, and leave alone the people who are enjoying it.

How can we do better if you don’t even give us the opportunity to make more cartoons?  

So yeah, that’s basically it. I’m not saying everyone should watch it and enjoy it, I mean, if you want to do it go ahead. I’m just saying it would be kind of egoistical to make discourse blogs and callout posts for the first mexican cartoon made by a new animation studio that just came out 3 days ago. 

Let us have this, please.

pjo musical: the rundown

so i went to see the lightning thief with @angelicomma yesterday and um. oKAY GUYS GALS AND NONBINARY PALS LEMME TELL U ABOUT THIS MOTHER!FUCKIN! SHOW!!!! because it was SO GOOD this is just like. the short list of what i loved about it because oh my god 

prepare for the longest post ever 

  • the set was such an aesthetic? it was all very metallic like there was scaffolding and greek columns with graffiti on them? it was very chb and very nyc and overall a Blessing 
  • every time they needed to show a different location they’d do it with the lights so like there were these lights lining the scaffolding that would change color ?? in the underworld they’d flash red, yellow and orange and were made to look like fire and near the ocean theyd be blue and if they were talking about trees itd be green and! if they wanted u to focus on a certain part of the scaffolding it’d be a different light color than any of the other parts which was rad af
  • the overhead lights were used really well too like when percy was singing about being the son of poseidon or when there was water the lights would be blue and when they were in the forest theyd be green
  • there is an entire song about how they hate new jersey and how they refuse to die in the garden state. know this
  • the show was very low budget like oh my god it was great
  • they didnt make some of their own props so sally walked in once with a trader joe’s bag and also the most important bag in the world (containing the master bolt) was a fucking jansport 
  • their representation of water was just to attach toilet paper rolls to leaf blowers and turn the overhead lights blue like what even
  • they covered the first 4 rows in toilet paper at one point 
  • also they fuckin deca-casted everyone except for percy (chris mccarrell, the light of my life actually he was so good) 
  • jonathan raviv played chiron, auntie em, random chb girl in a bike helmet and braids (?), random tractor guy (?), a bus driver, a train conductor, hades, and poseidon and im probably missing someone. he had very distinctive characters for all of them not to mention horse puns 
    • “the gods are kind of dicks”
    • medusa’s eyes were just light up swim goggles
  • sarah beth pfeifer, who probably has the best comic timing ive seen ever, played clarisse, katie gardner, a fucking squirrel?, mrs. dodds, lotus casino girl, random camper assistant to mr. d, and thalia 
    • *chases annabeth down a flight of stairs with a sword while screaming* 
    • “for their sixteenth birthdays my friends all got cars. I got a fern and a mason jar!” 
    • “ARROWS ARE MADE WITH WOOD. I REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE IN AN ACTIVITY THAT CONDONES VIOLENCE AGAINST OUR ARBOR BRETHREN!”
  • they had the most roles and they were GREAT 
  • george salazar was such a wonderful grover and mr d oh man 
    • mr d’s whole gag was he’d kick a chair when he got pissed which was hysterical bc the camper assistant would start pouting every time and he also wanted to turn percy into a dolphin 
    • “grover, are you ever going to wear pants again?” “NOPE!” 
    • his solo song was about thalia and how he couldnt save her talk about EMOTIONAL he cried
    • dam jokes
      • we might have more drachmas if you didnt spend them on those DAM SNACKS” “HEY! IT WAS THE HOOVER DAM” 
  • let me talk about. carrie compere for like multiple hot seconds bc GODDAMN GIRL CAN SANG 
  • she was such a good sally. can she be my mom. she sang a song abt percy being special and wonderful and i got a lil teary 
    • “you saved my life, percy. It’s time i learned how to live it.” cryin g 
  • her silena was really funny? like very whiny but very funny.
    •  “every time i bring a boy home, my mom’s there in her nightie […] she steals my mascara and all my dates!” 
  • she also played sort of charon? underworld guide in this awesome gold dress (she looked SO GOOD) who smacked grover’s goat ass (?????) 
    • “you know, bringing people to the underworld isn’t my only job. I also have a band. wanna hear a demo?” “not really?” “sorry, i can’t hear you over this SWEET ASS RIFF” 
    • We got everyone! we got kurt kobain, we got beethoven. any requests?” “um, do you have josh groban?” “we will.” 
  • JAMES! HAYDEN ! RODRIGUEZ! was sO GOOD AS LUKE
  • THERE WAS A GOOD KID REPRISE AND I WAS SHOOKEN 
    • “being a good kid gets you nowhere at all” bruh 
  • they couldn’t have a scorpion onstage so luke just. fucking stabs percy in the back??? 
  • He was also a really funny ares and gabe!! 
  • ok and my gal KRISTIN STOKES 
    • fun fact abt me and kristin stokes ….. so we were walking in the same direction after stage door and so me and @angelicomma just walked with her….to the train…. she gave us dessert recs…… and talked about the show (she’s so salty about how rangey her big solo is but trust me she was so good on that song) and also waitress with us…. it was the best experience of all time she is so nice and cool and was wearing jurassic park leggings how rad is she oh my god
    • her annabeth? was awesome? she was witty and tough and aggressive and i was ABOUT IT 
    • she called out sexism all the damn time 
      • “annabeth, i get it. do you know how many schools i’ve been kicked out of?” “yeah, percy, but when boys mess up they get a second chance.” 
      • “hey, annabeth, who’s your dad?” “he’s a history professor.” “i thought everyone’s dad was-” “a god? that’s my mom. sexist.” 
        • longest yeah boi ever 
    • the moment where she betrayed luke at the end??? YES GIRL
  • chris mccarrell was such a perfect percy i am elated 
    • “Tartarus? LIKE THE FISH SAUCE???!!!?!?!” 
    • *swings riptide like a lightsaber while making lightsaber noises* 
    • *packages medusa’s head* “To Mount Olympus. Signed, Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase.” “the gods will think we’re impertinent!” “*winning smile* we are impertinent.” 
    • *pouts* “i know how to hold a sword! like this!” annabeth corrects him and he swings it “oh wow actually that’s a lot easier” 
    • in good kid he was like? running around the stage and climbing the scaffolding and shit? and i cried??? the no mom line was the WORST i wanted to actually scream and his voice is so pretty 
    • and he was so shook by his own powers oh man 
    • he was just. so good at the twelve year old thing it was fantastic he was all fidgety and Dramatic ™ god bless
    • he loves sally so much!!! all the demigods were salty af abt their parents and he was just quietly singing like “my mom loves hugs and scary movies” and i just. screamed quietly
  • there were rlly cute percabeth moments too. 
    •  percy’s knocked tf out the first time annabeth meets him (she infiltrates his dream a lil) and he sings a lil song abt how she’s beautiful and stuff and he wakes up and she’s all “YOU DROOL IN YOUR SLEEP” shook 
    • she shows up at capture the flag (percy hasnt officially met her yet) and he points at her and was just “gasps YOURE MY DREAM GIRL!” and annabeth side-eyes him hardcore and he goes “UM. THE GIRL. FROM MY DREAM.” 
    • “the god is my mom. sexist.” “NO NO I LOVE GIRLS!” annabeth is shook yet again and percy panics and is like “I MEAN UM THEYRE VERY NICE” 
      • percy gets serious side eye from luke
      • it’s great  
    • when percy gets stabbed they almost kiss and then grover RUNS ONSTAGE “HEY! here’s your ambrosia percy” goddamn it was DRAMATIC
  • im definitely missing shit but oh boy it was so so good
  • i’d kill a man for that soundtrack  
  • if you have the chance (and the money) it’s just. such an Experience and everything i could have ever dreamed of. the cast is great (and theyre all so freakin NICE s/o to kristin especially). 
  • i’d highly recommend it!!! A+ 1000/10
Send Nude Pics of Your Heart to Me

James Potter to Mrs. Wife: lily can we have another baby?

Lily Potter to Wears Socks to Bed: R u going to text me that every time Harry does something cute?

James Potter: yes

Lily Potter: U know if we got one every time u asked we’d have like 35 babies by now??

James Potter: i’d be okay with that

James Potter: they might give us our own tv programme

James Potter: lil and jim and their kin 

Lily Potter: Ur right what’s the point of having children if not to pimp them out for reality television

Keep reading

trans!peter parker

hello i have seen homecoming three times now and i’m obsessed and in love with everything about the movie and the trans!peter headcanon

The first thing i heard about trans!peter was a post talking about how being bullied for being a nerd in school really isnt a common thing anymore, at least in america, and, if anything, in my experience, it tends to be the smartest kids that are actually the most popular. And the post raised the question: So what if peter is actually bullied because he’s trans? And that makes so much sense. And being a trans boy in high school myself and absolutely on board with the headcanon i thought i’d join in and add some things. Some of these other people may have talked about also.

  • “I am not a GIRL. IM A BOY. I mEAN IM A MAN.” peter gets very upset when donald glover’s character calls him a girl. his voice breaks and he gets visibly flustered.
  • Flash calls him “Penis Parker”. speaking from experience, high school bullies are not very creative with nicknames and will always go straight for the deepest insecurity they know. I personally think this is a dig at peter being trans.
  • Peter has proportionally quite small hands and feet. 
  • He enjoys playing with things like Legos and Star Wars action figures. possibly because he didn’t get to when he was little.
  • He has quite a high pitched voice which he has difficulty controlling the depth of.
  • May’s comment about his body changing and him not feeling like he can fit in at a classmate’s party makes much more sense if you think of peter as trans.
  • Ned asks Peter if the spider venom gave him the ability to lay eggs, which is a bizarre question to begin with, but even stranger if being asked of an amab person. but this likely doesn’t have any substance as it was obviously just meant to be a funny moment, which it was, i laughed out loud all three times i heard it.
  • Peter doesn’t have much in the way of sideburns.
  • He’s pretty short.
  • I personally never saw a spidey bulge. now it’s possible it was toned down or edited out but it was definitely visible on the last two versions of spiderman and i don’t know why this one would be any more edited than them.
  • He doesn’t know how to tie a tie. Now this seems unimportant at first, but i actually think it could mean a lot, so hear me out. Considering how many clubs and extra curriculars he’s in (robotics, marching band, decathlon, etc.) he should have been to many recitals, concerts, competitions, etc that would require him to wear a tie throughout his intermediate and high school years. It’s weird that neither him nor may would know how to tie one. unless- he’s never done it before because he’d always worn the traditionally feminine uniform or formal wear. 
  • Now, there’s those two shirtless scenes that some people have been using to discredit the headcanon where he’s clearly muscular and flat chested with no visible scars. Well, my doubtful friends, there’s the possibility of a keyhole surgery which leaves minimal scarring. Also, the spider venom increases muscle growth and metabolism, and also gives peter a mild healing factor. This could have caused any scars he had to heal and fade completely. 

now obviously i realize not all of this inherently means he’s trans. cis guys can be short or have small hands and feet or high pitched voices or rounder hairlines, especially when they’re only 15 years old and everyone is growing at a different rate. These things just flesh out the headcanon a bit more. 

tl;dr: Peter Parker is an endlessly adorable trans boy and the hero we all need.

anonymous asked:

kjdshjf i can't believe you think you draw girls w/diverse body types lmao

I clearly don’t…

You know, you can lmao at me as much as you like, but does it ever occure to you that I….don’t owe you anything? I don’t know you. And funny thing, you seem to not know me as well.

Maybe I am not that great at drawing super varied bodytypes, even though I actually try (you’re very welcome to lmao at me yet again). I TRY. Is it my fault that fandoms I’m in doesn’t seem to have enough diversity? Is it now a bad thing to follow the anime design? Oh. right.

Whenever I made my girls volleyball team ocs and had the chance to give them variety at bodytypes, because I had the freedom to do so, I did so. So what if I didn’t do it as well as you’d like me to? Why do you think I owe you the style or visualisation that YOU’d like to see? I draw for myself, if there are people who like it - it’s great! If there are those who don’t - also great! As long as you guys don’t bully me for not drawing the way you want me to. 

I’m tired of this moral highness you guys seem to carry through every call out and anon message. It seems to be rolling past you that words have consequences. YOU DON’T KNOW me, once again. Nor my mental state, nor my backstory, nor nothing. It also seems to go past you that I *might* be as well another human being with own feelings just like you, and hey, what a great thing it is nowadays to be able to anonymously upset someone! 

You ride your high horse of morality with all the “problematic” things I am doing or not doing, searching for them in everything and feeling so high moral, yet refuse for a second consider that you can talk privately with someone instead of writing vague passive agressive posts or messages. If you want to make a change - good arguments is your key.

Also, a food for thought. You never know when someone you write anon hate or make posts about can be depressed, and when something you said might be the last drop. Consider this.

As for me, no, I don’t have depression and I am pretty stable mentally, but for a future reference and more messages you might write to whoever, think first. 

All best, sorry for the rant, I am just very exhausted and had to let it out. 

Wait wait wait, did you just make a joke?

•I am in love with the idea of Keith making jokes so only hunk can really hear
•and they are GOOD
•Hunk has laughed so hard hes cryed over some of them
•one time Keith’s joke got him so good that he skipped the laughter and went straight to crying
•but Keith is sneaky
•and no one EVER hears him exept Hunk
•Hunk is loosing it™
•cause
•I SWEAR GUYS KEITH IS FUNNY HE MAKES JOKES I SWEAR LANCE YOU BELIEVE ME RIGHT
•LANCE!
•LANCE?
•im sorry buddy but ??? Keith has literally never???
•Hunk looking at Keith
•hes so smug
•Hunk making the “im watching you” gesture
• Keith taking it as a CHALLENGE
•a challenge to get sneakeyer and funnier
•when they are heading to their lion
•right before they enter a room with everyone else
•as hunk is taking a sip of space juice so he does a spit take all over lance and pidge
•at the table when Keith walks behind hunks chair
•Keith is brutal with his jokes tbh
•they are always relevant to something going on
•"Are we sure Galra Keith isn’t evil??? I think he’s tring to make me laugh to death! Is that possible?“
•Keith is so happy to have a thing™ with Hunk
•he feels so proud of himself whenever Hunk laughs
•he did that he made him happy
•Keith would do anything to make that laugh and that smile stick around
•and he finds that making jokes like this is a great stress relief for both of them so thats a plus
•keith dosnt know when he started to automatically seak out Hunk when entering a room
•Hunk doesnt know when he started keeping a constant eye out for Keith
•really tho if you see one of them you probably see the other too and they are probably most definitely both trying to stifle a laughing fit

Compliments in Norwegian that isn't about physical appearance

1. Du er snill - You are kind

2. Du er morsom - You are funny

3. Du er sterk - You are strong

4. Du er smart - You are smart

5. Du inspirerer meg - You inspire me

6. Du er så forståelsefull - You are so understanding

7. Du betyr mye for meg - You matter a lot to me

8. Du inspirerer meg til å bli et bedre menneske - You inspire me to become a better person

9. Du har et varmt og godt hjerte -You have a warm and good heart

10. Du har god smak - You have good taste

11. Du er modig - You are brave

12. Du er imponerende - You are impressive

13. Du lyser opp rommet - You light up the room

14. Du har en fantastisk latter - You have an amazing laughter

15. Du gjør en forskjell - You are making a difference

16. Stemmen din er betryggende - Your voice is calming

17. Smilet ditt er smittende - Your smile is contagious

18. Lidenskapen din er smittende - Your passion is contagious

19. Jeg skulle ønske flere var som deg - I wish more people were like you

20. Jeg liker stemmen din - I like your voice

21. Jeg er stolt av deg - I am proud of you

22. Jeg blir så glad når jeg er med deg - I get so happy when Im with you

23. Jeg blir glad når jeg tenker på deg - I become happy when I think of you

24. Jeg koser meg alltid med deg - I always have a good time when Im with you

Let’s start it off with the one and only, the canon pairing of a sad sk8er boi and his tiny baker: Jack Zimmerman/Eric “Bitty” Bittle!

Ice Crew Please!

THE FIC THAT CHANGED E V E R Y T H I N G u don’t even KNOW oh my god

u read this and u r like: “ice crew au…?? wut” but U GUYS. READ IT.

I AM. BEGGING U. its so fucking funny but also so fucking meaningful and abt CREATING A Fa mILY !!!! and LoVe!!!! and frieNDShIP!!!

p.s i don’t want to spoil it but if u read it message me and ill talk to u abt the part that made me cry like actual tears bc thank god for friendships and acknowledging that shit is hard

the messes of men

this was… in it’s own way.. a hard fic to read (which makes it the best fic to read! pain! i love it! help me!) it’s very very very beautifully written and i hold it very close to my heart….how it portrays jack by himself and how hard it must’ve been…it also manages to weave in how mental illness plays its own role, even once you get together with the person you’re pretty sure is it for you. somewhat painful but cathartic and achingly tender.

until it got the best of you

umm bitty has a big dick. that’s it.

BUT then there’s feelings! and angst! and misunderstanding! (the best type too! u know when one is like so crazily in love with the other and thinks its shockingly obvious but surprise, it’s not!) it’s just fantastic!

i never saw the signs

imagine a world where jack jumping over the snowbank, bringing bitty coffee, going on long walks classifies (in jack’s mind) as dating. so when bitty gets asked out, jack cannot believe the b e t r ay a l! we’re dating bitty! just read this and be happy :)

left the city, my family, my precinct

oh my goodness this fic.

jack accidentally sends bittle a dick pick.

:0  ;)  <3 ___ <3 = summary of the fic

mixing it up

this is just….so cute?!??!?! and funny?!??! and 1!!!!!

bitty is contestant at a baking tournament for the falconers where jack and tater are the judges. at least, thats where it starts off.

tater is fucking hILARIOUS this fic in general made me laugh a lot.

strawberry

if u about that dom/sub life well…….just know that eric pins jacks hands to the bed and there’s v intense blushing that boi turns red like a tomato and i live 4 it.

eric is a tad too southern for me but it’s the only thing this fic doesn’t do perfectly :))))

something like this

considering how popular this fic is it actually sat open in a tab for a looong loooooong time just bc…well… it’s 285,748 words. im an all or nothing girl as in i once read the entire maze runner trilogy in one night so i had to find the right time

first of all: angst. second of all: angst. third of all: ….. u guessed it… angst. BUT don’t worry, for every drop of angst there’s a metro-fucking-ton of smut and sweetness :)))) ;))) what this fic does brilliantly is create an OMC that is at the forefront of the story and do it seamlessly. this is a pretty iconic fic and tbh im definitely not one for fics longer than 100k but this was a fuckin’ beaut man

rake the springtime across your sheets

oh god this was P A I N F U L but in a very beautiful way??? (that’s how u know the writing was siCK) ambiguously happy ending but tbh in the end this fic is really just abt the unspoken quiet truth of being in love, of loving, of being human just lke Fffffffuck me up

Phone, Please!

listen. i’m not a fluff person. idk i get bored. BUT. BUUUUUT. BUT. this fic.

AMAZING. this fic is all about the details and the little moments that make Bitty and Jack  ~*BittyandJack*~

Bonus favorite line: “Thank god there are pancakes to serve. Pancakes are also very nice, and something he can actually have.”

Winter Clothes

Chowder POV so this is both hiLARIOUS and surprisingly touching. Jack and Bitty help Chowder buy clothes for New England winter. As a person living in New England, I approve this message.

WIPS: *Hate That I Love You plays in the background*

medic, please!

so if u ever played world of warcraft u r gonna love it and if you’ve never played world of warcraft u r gonna love it

this fic is just SO CREATIVE?!?!! like the format of it is B O M B. its just. so good. oh ym god.

(also the name is “medic please!” get it? cuz eric’s a medic in the game.? and check..PLEASE! ugh I’m a nerd 4 this pic

Fainting Psychics and Pessimistic Demonologists

ghostbusters au except not bc copyright

at first i was like…ghost hunters au?? rlly? but now I’m like GHOST HUNTERS AU? B R I L L I A N T.

characters are on point, its funny (an actual line of the fic “Jack sat down at his computer, pulled open a tab, and googled “How to encourage a teammate”. lmao what a mess)

but also theres some mystery and intrigue and suspense and in general this is a Good.

baking is punk as fuck

this is another AU that i was like…punk band u ….rlly? but then i was like PUNK BAND AU FUCK YEAH im a sucker for asshole Jack. i’m not even into punk?? but im into this fic U ___ U

This Don’t Even Feel Like Falling

filed under “praise kink mmmm”

honestly? porn..? “Bitty is the one to tie Jack’s hands for Hazeapalooza; afterward, he ties Jack’s hands for their own private enjoyment. “ like?? I’m not sorry.

but also not established relationship more like fwb but u know and i know and ngozi knows that ain’t the game we’re playing here

around the green and blue

not usually a big fan of soulmate aus but what i love about this fic is the pacing and even tho soulmate aus where seeing your soulmate = seeing color for the first time isn’t totally new this felt super fresh and original!

shine for you

aw MAN this gave me the feeeeeels. established relationship but jack is not out, it’s a bit angsty but the jack perspective is just so gooood

EXTRA: It all started with a big Russian hockey player calling a small cat-loving hockey player a rat. You either h8 it or u luv it. In my case, I Love it, capital L, so enjoy: Alexei “Tater” Mashkov/Kent Parson

careful the tale you tell

Kent has been telling himself a story, ever since the Q. It’s the epic story of Parse and Zimms, and he’s in love with it. // this fic is specifically meant for patater newbies and this fic does an amazing job of showing why kent and alexei just make sense. its honestly a Blessing.

kick on the starter

lmao im gonna be 90 years old and still reccing Febricant’s fics…for real when i saw they wrote patater i was like…no..im dreaMing…or im dead? is . is heaven?? rlly unique approach to how she gets them together and gr8 build up :)))) Bless Febricant

i need to wake up, i need me some love…

honestly? shameless fluff. established relationship (they’re ENGAGED FOR GOD’S SAKE) short but Good

Okay so this idea popped into my head you guys and I had to.

i am currently very tired it is quite late (1 AM) but this just really needed to happen because my sleepy tired brain said OH HELL YES to this idea and here we are. Im not great at Chibi okay, just leave me be. Also I included Robin because I fuckin love that guy and his work he’s a marvelous human being

It’s also 16 million subs time, which mean probably like five people will actually see my crazed doodle (hello!), so if you don’t think that its absolute crap (I do) drop a like. -scroll on if you don’t want to read about my jack experience, mmkay? Thanks, have fun on tumblr!-

I found Jack at about 3 mil, but the first video I watched was his 1 mil subscriber Draw my Life. He was adorable, and Irish, and I was intruiged. At the time, he was uploading the Deadpool series, and it had just started. So I watched that. And Bully. And all of Stranded Deep, Subnautica, Sims 4, and The Escapists, in a week or so. I loved the energy and spirit that he had, though, to me, he wasn’t all that loud haha.

Flash forward to now, (three? it’s about three, maybe four) years later, and I’m off to college. I still watch Jack daily, usually both videos. Only one if it’s horror, lol, I’m a baby and can’t handle the scares. I still love his energy and spirit, and I appreciate how Jack has matured and grown along with the channel. I hope to continue to watch his content for as long as he makes it.

Oh wow are you still reading this…uh…not sure how to end it… hi? Thank you for taking your time to read this, have a good rest of your day/night in this tag!

yes i know that the can has wrong perspective shut up it’s one in the morning and im trying to draw cut me some slack okay thanks

Innuendos + Bonus Chat

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Request:

A Steve x reader where Tony makes really bad innuendos and Steve and the reader are to innocent to know what they mean


Tony has created a chatroom.

Tony has invited Bruce, Y/N, Steve, Scott, T'Challa, Rhodey, Peter.

Tony: Dinner tonight, all of us? I can make reservations at Rhodey’s favorite restaurant.

Scott: The one that spins?!

Tony: Yes, Scott. The one that spins.

Scott: I love that one! The waiting list is booked,  it would take months before we can eat there!

Tony: Oh, honey. When you’re a billionaire, you don’t need to wait.

T'Challa: And if they make us wait, I will just buy the restaurant. #RicherThanStark

Tony: … Who uses hashtags in a chat?!

T'Challa: #ObviouslyNotYou

Peter: I would love to come but… I have to study for a test tomorrow.

Tony: Aw c'mon kid, we haven’t seen each other in weeks! T'Challa just got back from Wakanda, Scott is finally free, and Steve and Y/N just returned from their 4 week long mission.

Bruce: Yeah, we miss you all!

Tony: Just one night! You’re smart, Peter. You’ll do fine in your test.

Peter: I guess…

Rhodey: #BadDad

T'Challa: #TonySucksAtParenting

Keep reading

Trust Fall

Langst/Klance short fic

Trust is a weird thing, isn’t it? It’s something people take so seriously, yet they also turned it into a game. Lance just falls, and sees what happens.

-

“Oof!”

Lance made a grunt sound as he hit the ground in front of Pidge. Pidge shook her head slowly, gripping her laptop closer to her body.

“I trusted you.” Lance narrowed his eyes up to her. He laid there, arms splayed on his sides, a pout playing on his face. “I even gave you a warning.”

Pidge rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Do you think I’m just gonna drop my laptop to catch you for your dumb game? I’m sorry, Lance, but I’m really busy right now.”

Lance pout deepens, but nodded his head in understanding as Pidge lowered her face to give him a smile.

“Next time buddy, okay?”

-

Lance wanted to try it again, but this time it was with Hunk.

Lance walked a slow pace towards Hunk, humming innocently and tunefully, his arms at his sides until he was a close enough to Hunk for him to make the catch.

“Trust fall!” Lance shouted, turning his back and letting gravity take him down, falling, hoping a pair of arms would catch him.

Sadly, there weren’t.

“Oh, Lance!!” Hunk shouted in surprise, almost dropping, his plates, “Stop doing that! I can’t catch you with my hands full!!”

Hunk set the plates he was going to use for the food later down, holding out his hand for Lance to take, which he does.

“I trusted you.” Lance chuckled jokingly, narrowing his eyes as he did with Pidge. He grabbed the plates down and handed them back to Hunk.

“Sorry, dude,” Hunk frowned as soon as his hands was full of the plates again. He shifted his arms for a better position for the plates, and smiled. “Just kinda caught me off guard.”

“Ahh, don’t worry, it’s just fun and games,” Lance shrugged, “Don’t drop me next time, butterfingers.” He chuckled, and Hunk gave him a smile and shook his head, nudging Lance’s arm with his own.

“Next time, buddy, okay?”

-

Keith was next on his list.

It was after training of course. Lance had waited for Keith to be done with the bot, as it fell hard to the ground in pieces, Keith ended the session and moved out of the training area, where Lance waits for him near the entrance.

Lance was a little nervous for this one, considering that he would expect Keith to be the last person to catch him. But reality is, Lance doesn’t care if Keith catched him or not.

Because he already trusts Keith with his life.

Lance cracked a smirk, his arms ready to be stretched out, falling back on either against the cold floor of the castle, or the warmth of Keith’s arms and body.

He popped out, seeing the surprise in Keith’s purple eyes, and fell back.

“Trust fall!!!” He yelled.

Gravity took him, but instead of a pair of arms catching him, it was the whole body instead, taking both Keith and himself to the ground.

Whoops.

“Agh, LANCE!!” Keith groaned, “Get your dead weight off of me!!”

Lance laughed playfully, like a puppy looking for attention.

“Keeeeeith,” he pouted, sitting up and straddling his hips purposely, “I trusted you!”

Lance could’ve sworn he saw a quick pink flush on Keith’s cheeks, but he let that thought out of his mind.

Keith pursed his lips, not knowing what to do as if Lance straddling his hips was a once in a life kind of thing.

Keith gritted his teeth. “Get. Off.”

Lance would be hurt by this, but he caught the flicker of a smile on the corner of Keith’s mouth, knowing he was enjoying this as much as he was.

“I swear to God, LANCE!!” Keith whined, “You’re crushing me!!”

Lance grinned widely, and crossed his arms, a thought running across his mind.

“Promise me you’ll catch me next time, then.” Lance smirked.

“Lance-”

Lance smiled again, taking his hands and tickling Keith’s sides, causing him to laugh uncontrollably. A laugh that could save his life, a sound that he finds the most comfort in when the days were dark.

Lance laughed wildly too. “Promise me!”

“I-haha!!-I-sTOP IT!!” Lance caught tears in Keith’s eyes from laughing too hard, clutching his sides and wiggling underneath Lance, his body warm from the contact.

“I PROMISE!!”

-

Lance decided that his next target shall be Shiro.

But hey, what other ways can he spend his time around the castle without having a little fun for himself?

He peered around the corridor wher he saw Shiro talking to Allura about what move they shall proceed next with Zarkon and his army at hand on one of the screens, dragging their hands across it as they make the plans.

Lance wonders if even Shiro would drop everything just to catch him.

Lance made a small smile to himself, and walked in unnoticed, not listening to the talk exchanges between Shiro and Allura.

“Trust fall!!” Lance smiled widely, confident that maybe he would be caught.

Instead, he had his trust back on the floor.

Allura yelped in surprise and confusion, and Shiro just groaned with frustration.

“Ahh, Lance!” He raised his voice, “Not now!!”

Lance felt his heart break just a little, but it was alright. It was only fun and games, anyways.

“I trusted you.” Lance pouted, chuckling again. His arms at his sides, his head tilted up to look at Shiro and Allura, who both towered over him like his parents would when he was about to get -dun dun dun- la chancla.

Lance’s chuckle turned more into a light hearted laugh. It was enough for Shiro to lower his gaze to a more calm expression, cracking a small smile as he helped Lance back up.

Allura raised an eyebrow, still confused. “Is this ‘trust fall’ an earth thing?”

“Kind of,” Shiro chucked, “Hey, Lance, maybe you should stop doing this to everyone. We’re not always gonna be prepared, you’re always catching us off guard.”

Lance felt a small frown forming on his mouth when looked down, staring the ground where he was just laying. He felt a little guilty annoying everyone.

That “trust fall” thing was only something that he would do with his siblings, who no matter what they were doing or how annoyed they were, they would drop everything just to catch the boy in their arms.

It was all just fun and games, right?

“Sorry, Shiro,” Lance chuckled sheepishly, “I was just trying to pass the time.”

Allura grinned, “Well, you’re in luck Lance. Shiro and I have just finished our plan for when we infiltrate the Galra. Get the others, too. Are you ready?”

Lance’s eyes went up, a small smile finding its way back on his face.

-

He decided to do it just one last time.

-Run.-

-Run.-

-Run.-

That’s all that came to his mind. That’s all he wanted to do. But he didn’t. He couldn’t.

Lance was the one who drew the attention. He drew the attention away from Shiro and Pidge, so that they could get closer to what they needed.

Lance felt himself cornered, surrounded by the Galra.

He lifted his gun, ready to fire when they did.

And when they did, he just wasn’t quick enough to avoid all four guns aiming and firing him.

He remembers hearing the blast ricochet from all four.

He remembers their taunting words, how -useless- he was and how -irritating- he must be for his teammates to leave him all alone.

He remembers the aching pain from his chest to his leg, a burning sensation that his grandchildren could’ve felt.

He remembers seeing the Galra fall back, leading themselves to believe that they have killed one.

He remembers standing on his two, thinking of the first time he walked his first steps towards his older brother, now thinking of how these were him possibly taking his last few steps.

He remembers hearing echoes of voices and blasts coming from the end of the corridor of the Galra ship.

He remembers hearing Keith’s shouts stand out from the rest.

He remembers Keith’s laugh and his smile, which urges him forward.

Holding his sides, cracking his smile possibly for the last time, he takes bigger steps to get closer to Keith, who was crouching down behind a busted machine, a good hideaway from the Galra’s blasts.

As Lance got closer, he took smaller steps, croaking out his next words.

“Trust fall.”

Although, instead of falling back, he fell forward, gravity pulling him down, expecting to feel the cold ground of the Galra ship.

Instead he felt a pair of arms in front of him, and when he looked up, he saw a sight of someone, an expression he hopes to never see on his face again. The expression of pain and concern, eyes wide in panic. Brows furrowed worriedly, and mouth tightened as if trying to hold in the sobs. He saw the tears prickling his face.

Lance didn’t want to see that. He didn’t want to see Keith like that ever again.

“I trust you,” Lance chuckled, feeling Keith adjusting him in his arms, cradling him close to his own body, despite the fact that he was being drenched in Lance’s blood.

“S-Shut up, Lance, j-just-shut-,” Keith choked, trying to get a hold of himself. “You’re gonna be alright, you’re gonna-you have to-”

Lance lifted his hand and tangled it in Keith’s hair. He just wanted to see Keith smile one more time. He saw Keith shout something into his intercom of his helmet frantically.

Lance felt Keith tighten his grip on him when he felt himself drift away, as if he believes that the tighter he held on, the longer Lance will stay.

“I’m..not going a-anywhere Keith, but you..don’t n-need me,” Lance just laughed, “I’m just the s-seventh wheel.”

Lance was so close to Keith that he could hear the breath caught in Keith’s mouth.

“No, y-you’re not, you idiot,” Keith’s tears rolled down his cheeks, “Y-You weren’t supposed to go out like this. You -aren’t- supposed to–We were just getting-,” he sniffled, laughing like him crying was so stupid, “getting started.”

Lance laughed, and hugged himself closer to Keith, taking in his scent, even if his blood spilled over him.

Finally, he heard other voices, other hands trying to help him up. But all he did was held onto Keith tighter.

All Lance wanted to do was just lay there, knowing that his silly little trust fall wasn’t all stupid. He wanted to lay there, with Keith holding him close as if he was precious cargo. The longer Keith held on, the longer Lance will hold on.

Trust is a precious cargo that Lance likes to hold on. It’s funny, you know. The way it’s been made into a kind of game he held on as a kid? The way he trusts Keith with his own life. The kind of trust that turns a certain bond into something more than one person hoping the other will catch them.

It’s funny, the way he believes that falling is just like flying, except there’s a more permanent destination. Whether it’s the cold floor of a castle or a ship, or the warmth of someone who cares about him.

It all was just fun and games, right?

been reading a lot of klance fics lately so i thought i’d share it w you guys!! here’s 14 of them and definitely my favorites. comes with the title (duh), description, a review by yours truly, and link to the fic. the writers of said fics also have some gorg other masterpieces so be sure to check those out!

1. ) Smile for the Stars by maIikcutie

description

Though he’s been dealt many bad cards, Lance isn’t sure he can handle this one: winding up stranded, a million lightyears away from home, with only Keith to keep him company.
The universe is cruel.

review

amazing a+++ fic but i strongly advise not to read this unless you are willing to live the rest of your life broken hearted and Sad. i promise ur heart will be wrecked but in the best way possible!!! a buncha artists on tumblr made art for this so be sure to check those out & also there’s a epilogue-ish thing for this that dulls the pain a lil less and its called The Stars Smile Back in case yall were interested

2. ) Dirty Laundry by Gibslythe

description:

“Two whole months of free laundry in exchange for two weeks of being my fake boyfriend. Deal?”
Keith hesitated for a moment. Was this really worth it? Hardly. Lance was an asshole, and he wasn’t sure what fake dating would entail. But, free laundry was free laundry, right?
“Alright, it’s a deal.”
Or: Lance makes the mistake of telling his Mom he has a boyfriend coming home with him for Christmas. Keith makes the mistake of agreeing to be Lance’s ‘fake boyfriend’.

review:

if u love slow burn then BOY ur gonna love this !!!! mama lance is so warm i luv her !!! fake dating aka one of my fav tropes so 11/10 and i just rly love this ok im in tears

3. ) call me, beep me by safra

description:

(00:31) Do you think she gave me the wrong number on purpose?
(00:31) Or was it a genuine mistake?
(00:32) Like maybe she writes funny and I misread it?
(00:32) Some of the numbers do look a little dodgy…
(00:33) Cause, you know, her threes couldvery easily be poorly formed eights? And maybe she writes her sevens like her ones?
(00:45) What
(00:46) The
(00:46) Fuck??
(00:47) Oh good, you are awake!
where lance messages the wrong number and things kind of snowball from there

review:

i love through-chat fics therefore i am so in love with this!!!!!! your everyday "wrong number” trope but so so so much better!!! cute and happy

4. ) Seasons by fairietailed

description: 

“Do you think we’ll be together, still, by the time we make it home?”
Lance is quiet for a moment, thinking. Then he says, “That depends. Do you plan on going somewhere?”
Keith laughs, threading his fingers through Lance’s hair.
“No, I suppose I don’t.”

review:

their relationship is just SO PURE AND SOFT and so well written i’m in luuuv but the open ending will shatter and will most likely rip u apart

5. )  Don’t Break Connection, Baby by princedeadend

description:

Keith works part-time as a phone sex operator and receives a prank call from Lance. This does not go as planned for Lance. Thus begins the adventure of our dear sweet idiot continuing to call Keith to fuck with him (but not like fuck fuck with him…at least not yet). And y'know, eventually having legit conversations with him and getting attached and growing on Keith.
aka the phone sex operator fic no one asked for

review:

this is soooooooooo cute and adorable and wow i luv ittttt!!! made me smile so hard it hurts

6. ) He Who Fights Monsters by magisterpavus

description:

In a world where monstrous dragons terrorize humanity daily, the Garrison trains valiant Knights to slay the evil beasts and defend Earth. But when Knight cadet Lance Espinosa is kidnapped by a strange red dragon who kills its own kind, certain truths are revealed…and so are the true monsters.

review:

oh my god the buildup may be slow but i promise it’s worth it like everything just falls perfectly into place !!! and its so adorable and creative and just wow not ur usual klance fanfic and that just makes it 1000x better and also,,, dragons !!

7. ) Bonding Time by magisterpavus

description:

“Shiro, I fucked up,” Keith blurted, wringing his hands.
Shiro paused mid-punch, shooting him a quizzical look. “What? What happened?”
“I think,” Keith whispered, “I think I accidentally roofied Lance. With my dick.”

review:

galra keith will always and forever be my fav au so this is a definite fav for me !!! i love the other 3 sequels it comes w too!! and nsfw content too dont even lie ik u guys are thirsty for that

8 .) Just Static by Jessadilla

description:

–Static—-
-iro, Hunk, Kei—, nybody? I’m—-
-static–
–I’m sorry guys. This is all my–
–static–cc–
—I found my coordinates. They’re–
-stttcc-
-guys. I hear something—
–scccc-
-end transmission-
Alone on a hostile planet, transmissions aren’t getting through. How did it come to this?

review:

this fic got me sad and crying in the middle of the night )’: wont leave u too sad tho the ending is pretty nice

9. ) What a Healing Pod Can’t Repair by Remember_Me

description:

The compromised wormhole was ripping apart at the seams, sending everyone spiraling away in completely different directions. Lance could feel himself being pulled and bent in ways he was definitely not supposed to be.

Stitching the team back together after everyone is separated is difficult, and for one Paladin rescue wouldn’t be coming for a very long time.

review:

no words. literally no words. this was so painful and just wow the buildup will shatter u i swear )’: also poor bb lance i sob. comes with cool-looking art which makes it a whole lot better

10. ) Seen: 5:29 by SpeedOfSins

description:

AU where Keith is some important guy who has a business suit, and lance is a good housewife. (tha ts a lie, i honestly dont have a summary but this fic hurts, i have been told by at least 3 people)
Written in text format

review:

will wreck u, beware!! may be short but enough to bring u to tears honestly

11. ) On Thin Ice by Minadora

description:

Once upon a time, two Canadian nerds decided to start a figure skating au about their two space sons and their wonderful misfit friends. Ten pages of headcanons later we finally put electronic pen to electronic paper and created this monstrosity. This multi-chapter fic chronicles the lives of a hockey player named Keith who gets forcibly enlisted into figure skating lessons by his brother, Shiro, to “work on his footwork”. There he meets a pompous - yet talented - figure skater named Lance and gets swept away by both the sport and the skater.
Enjoy the ride because it’s only just started.

review:

the description says it all !!!!! a fic beloved by the vld fandom and gosh whats not to love honestly???? also the whole gang is so happy !!! (sidenote: this is unfinished and its killing me)

12. ) I bet you look good on the dancefloor by xShieru

description:

“So like in 'Step Up’?” Allura shrugs. “Now that you put it like that - yes. I guess it’s just like in 'Step Up’.” The smile that she sends Shiro’s way - followed by a shy wave, eugh - is sickening to say the least, and Lance still doesn’t believe in dance camps.
-
Lance McClain’s dancing career begins and ends with Keith.
Keith just wants to find out what Lance’s deal is.

review:

if u love step up ur gonna LOVE this !!!! i love it so so so so much can i just say and wow keith is so hot ffs

13. ) thunderstruck by xShieru

description:

Lance doesn’t pine for anyone ever, Keith’s never been to a dance, Hunk tries his best to be supportive, Shiro is very done, and Pidge steals a car.But hey, it could’ve been worse.

review:

space prom!!!!!!! and cute pining gays!! whats not to love about that?

14. ) In English, Please

description:

Lance thinks he can get away with flirting with Keith if it’s in Spanish. Lance thinks if he says the words angrily enough no one will catch on to the ruse. Lance thinks his secret crush is safe. Lance, my friends, is very…very wrong.

review:

two words - too. cute. i can’t even with this fic

Today, I fucked up... by picking up a hitchhiker and then showing up to my own funeral

This happened a few years ago and I was living in Zimbabwe at the time, and I was having a pretty bad day, I was going to see my auntie who lived about 400km away from me. If youre african you’ll understnad that this was no small journey. So I got in my car and set off and about 3 hours into the journey i came across a Dude by the side of the road who was going in the same direction, so out of the goodness of my heart i said jump in. we go to talking and he happened to be going to exact same village as me and he knew my auntie!.

Half an hour passes and we’re making polite chit chat and reminiscing about old times in zimbabwe, when all of a sudden he tell me to pull over, so I do. he runs out of the car and starts making wretching noises, so i assume he’s throwing up, its dark at this point so i cant really see much, so i go check on him ( first mistake). I get out and go to his side expecting him to be there but he’s not…..Then I here someone behind and me and before i know it im unconcious! so I wake up a couple hours later( iknow this becuase the sun was coming up at this point) without my car, clothes or wallet. so im thinking great. i look around and see im on some farmland wearing the giys clothes. SO i start walking in no particular direction and eventually come across a settlement.

I explain to them my situation and they tell me that the nearest main road is at least a good half a days walk from where I am and they dont get many cars coming through this part but they heard one last night ( which might be our thief). I start walking in the direction they point me in and after what felt like forever i come acroos a road, so I pitch up and start waiting, ( now i know most of you are thinking why not call someone, i had no phone with me and I dont have the best memory so I didnt know any numbers that would come in handy). after a couple of hours a car stops and lets me hitch I let him know the situaion and he says we’re in the complete opposite direction of my intended destination but he’s willing to drop me close enough to walk the rest of the way to which I thought great!

its takes a good two days to get there and he drops me off and i say my goodbyes to my driver, I take down his number so i can repay him later on. At this point im starting to recoginise my surroundings, I walk for a few miles and as im getting closer to my aunties i can here a lots of singing and what appears to be a large crowd which i though was strange. Im about 100 feet from the house and i see my Son which again i thought was strange because he was meant to be in school at this time, but instead of running to me and hugging me as he normally does…he runs away screaming to my complete bewilderment. I get to the the gate and all of a sudden the large crowd alerted by my sons scream has stopped singing and is stood silent. my wife appears and starts to run towards me hugging and kissing me like Ive been gone for months. My auntie appears and immediately faints when she sees me.

I still have no clue whats going on at this point and im exhausted, so we rush to get my auntie inside and I see my picture ontop of a large box that resembles a coffin sitting in the living room….

So it turns out that the guy who robbed me and made off with my car my wallet and all my clothes was in a car crash so bad that they couldnt identify the body and because the only things they could use to identify him was my wallet, they assumed it was me that had died in the crash. since there was no body of sorts they could arrange the funeral preety quickly and that is what I had stumbled upon. My son still has nightmares to this day and and my wife has told me never to pick up a hitch hiker ever again.

TL;DR Got carjacked, robber died and family thought it was me, they arrange my funeral and I somehow manage to stumble upon my own funeral.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

quotes from the signs of how they view themselves and their signs

aries: “I’m opinionated and when something intrigues me or is brought to my attention I really like to research it and learn about it so I’m like super great to come to for advice. I can be really aggressive in a way like not physically but emotionally and I’m reckless. I like to have fun”

taurus: “umm im really closed off n not many people know the REAL me like no one really knows the inside me u know like i dont share my feels n like im really loving n caring n emotional n i can be kinda dramatic but like cancers overshadow us”

gemini: “well i think there are definitely ~two sides of me~ but i think it’s like that for everyone”

cancer: “the stereotype about us being like huge crybabies isn’t entirely true like i think i’m just as emotional as the next person but i feel like cancers are a lot stronger than people believe they are and we’re problem solvers too even though people generally see us as problem creators. i don’t think i’ve ever met a cancer that didn’t have a huge heart yknow like i’m super loving and caring and i think that more than being like crybaby emotional we’re lovey dovey emotional. great at giving advice bc we’re super logical and parental. of all the signs i’d say we’re the most similar to lawyers. we also talk a lot”

leo: “i say i don’t care what people think of me but i really do, i hate making other people upset idontknow anymore i was trying to be inspiring for you but that’s all i got”

virgo: “i pay attention to every single detail about anyone and everyone. i have very good sense of judgement and truth. i’m very hard on myself, very insecure. i think very logically and cautiously. i dont even know much more i see of myself, but i’ll tell you one thing, the most important, virgos love. they love so fucking hard. i’d say more than anyone else. I WAS GONNA MAKE IT REALLY GOOD AND LONG AND MEANINGFUL BUT I HAVE TO PEE SO BAD I WAS HOLDING IT WHILE THINKING”

libra: “Smart funny but indecisive as hell cant make up their own mind if their life depended on it. Generally very good hearted people and there for others. Not easily discouraged but can get lazy easily and unfocused from the task at hand. Aesthetic sign in love with all that is beautiful and pleasing to see and feel.”

scorpio: “uhh I really want to be loved and accepted and I think that’s why I’m really sexually driven like I give the people what they want in exchange for what I want”

sagittarius: “idk i don’t really care about anything like i’m laid back but i also care a lot about everything??? if you make me mad i can be really like cold towards you and i’ll make it known that i’m upset. i’m loving and caring and i protect the ones i love”

capricorn: “Capricorns are definitely hard workers and very goal oriented and do things that they set their minds too like everyone says but I also think many capricorns are sensitive and parental but also children at heart”

aquarius: “i like to be alone but in the presence of people i’m kinda backwards idk i’m shy but with close friends i am a lunatic also why is aquarius an AIR SIGN LIKE THE LOGO FOR IT IS LITERALLY TWO WAVES WHY ISN’T IT WATER LIKE AQUA-RIUS HELLO”

pisces: “I guess I’m funny. I care for people a lot but when it comes to them needing help, idk how to help bc I’m a piece of shit! But I’m a pretty good listener. In relationships I think I’m a pretty good partner bc I give it my all but I can be a piece of shit.”

anonymous asked:

did the fact that half the howling commandos were named james ever make things confusing

yeah, half the howlies and half the english speaking world, it felt like, because james was a really really popular name. i mean, jim and jacques both were already going by non-james versions so…

did you think i just like….woke up one day and thought to myself, ‘yeah, bucky is a great and not at ALL ridiculous name for a grown ass man who fights nazis and definitely doesnt deserve to be given a wedgie’ ??? no. oh no my friend. i am bucky barnes out of necessity, and in hopes of staving off an even worse nickname.

i knew so many jameses and jims and jimmys and whatevers it wasnt even funny. do you know how many ‘james smiths’ were in the 107th alone?? six. and each and every one of those suckers had an embarrassing nickname, except for James-With-The-Grenades, for pretty obvious reasons. nobody messed with James-With-The-Grenades. 

anonymous asked:

please give us more batfam acting like a family

jdkdjd now i cant remember anything and im formatting on mobile chrome so sorry for the mess but ok listen

[Dick, via comms, sounding desperate] ROBIN, ARE YOU STILL NEAR MY HOUSE? 

[Damian, alarmed] YES

[Dick] COME HERE NOW

  • and when Damian arrives, bursts through the window, batarang in hand ready to kick ass, he finds Dick in bed, in a blanket burrito watching tv.

“Dami can you please turn off the lights and close the door.”

Damian sighs irritated. Throws the batarang at the light switch. Kicks closed the door.

“Thank you Dami my beautiful baby brother that i would die for, can you~”

“I am not getting you food from the kitchen, goodbye grayson”

“BUT DAMIIIIIIIIII”

  • “FOR GODS SAKE JASON DO I HAVE TO SPEAK IN EMO TO GET THROUGH YOUR HEAD!!!? HAVE YOU HEARD OF CLOSING THE GOD DAMN DO-[jason comes back and closes door] thanks.”
  • they used to spit into a drink or lick food to stop a sibling from eating it.. (jason and Cass used to eat/drink that shit anyways while staring at you dead in the eye… Tim used to do it ONLY with Cass’ food and sometimes Dick’s…) but now they don’t even care.. all 6 of them share a lollipop while in the batplane (because cass found only one in her pocket and Bruce insisted they either share it or no one would eat it, to avoid fighting) (yes, even duke, who at first was also disgusted with them but now he’s like *shrug* pass me the licked food damian)

“WHY ARE YOU PLAYER ONE I WANT TO BE PLAYER ONE" 

“BECAUSE I’M THE OLDEST”

 "FUCK YOU AND FUCK BRUCE AND FUCK THIS STUPID VIDEOGAME AND FUCK THE SYSTEM-“

  • also

“Todd. I need a favor.”

 "Uh uh. “

 ”… Could you please help me with this videogame level..“

  • “That’s enough that’s enough give me back the-that’s ENOUGH LET ME PLAY TODD-FATHER!!!!”

“Cass are those my clothes”

 ”.. They fit”

 "ugH NO YOURE GONNA GET CHOCOLATE ON IT LIKE LAST TIME”

 "will not!!! And you let Kon wear my shirt and now it’s too big for me!“ 

“First it’s not my fault he thought that was mine and you always let Stephanie wear my stuff I leave at your house too!!“ 

  • [everyone watching a movie together] [a character with a really ugly haircut appears] “DICK WHY DIDNT YOU TELL US YOU WERE IN A MOVIE" 

“Hey dick, Wally is on the phone" 

"ugh I’m not in the mood tell him I’m sleeping or someth-”

 ”[on phone] he’s right here I’ll pass him the phone" 

“I know where you live Timoth-hey Wally whatsup man!”

  • “I’m gonna shower!” [cass, thrown over the sofa playing with Tim’s laptop, clearly not intending to get up any time soon] “no wait I was gonna shower!!“ 

"THOMAS WHEN I LEFT TO GRAB JUICE I HAD TWELVE FRIES AND NOW I ONLY HAVE NINE, WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO EAT MY FOOD" 

"it wasn’t me!!" 

"YOU’RE STILL CHEWING THEM”

  • everytime one of them is getting lectured by Bruce the others try to make them crack up.. please… 

“is there something funny about throwing a mug at your brother, Tim?" 

”………n..o…..dAD DUKE IS PULLING FUNNY FACES" 

  • they steal each others stuff all the time just to be annoying and put the blame on each other…

“I left my phone right here where is it.." 

[everyone sniggering] 

"c'mon guys!! Who was it??”

[more sniggering] 

“…Jason.." 

"NO WHAT THE FUCK IT WASNT ME!" 

"TIM" 

"ME NEITHER !!!”

 "WHO WAS IT IM GONNA CALL DAD AND YOU KNOW HOW HE GETS WHEN I CALL HIM IN THE MIDDLE OF A MEETING”

 "YOU WOULDNT" 

“YES I WOULD DAMIAMOTHY”

 "DONT DO IT" 

“WHO WAS IT”

 "…“ 

“ALRIGHT IN DOING IT”

[screams, trying to wrestle the house phone from Dick’s hand, kicking, biting, spiting]

 [finally cass, who has been watching everything go down from afar, comes forwards a drops the phone in dicks chest] “here”

  • movie nights… are a mess…. they always complain about each other’s movie taste and end up watching a movie picked by bruce so they won’t fight… aka a boring ugly mess and they spend the whole movie glaring at each other like “this is your fault!!”

[bruce, in the batcave] “Jason would you call Damian, I need to verify-”

 “yeah sure… [not even looking up from phone] DAMIAN!!!!” 

“JASON IF I HAD WANTED TO YELL I WOULD HAVE CALLED HIM MYSELF CANT YOU JUST GO FETC-“ 

[from afar] “WHAT DO YOU WANT TODD” 

“BRUCE WANTS YOU DOWN HEREEEEEEEEEEEE” 

“nevermind,”

  • and that’s all I have now.. let me think for a while and I might make a part 2..
Li’l Lou

Pairings- Loki Laufeyson x Reader, starring dense!reader.

Requested by anon and based on this imagine of mine.

Warnings- this is probably not as romantic as you expect. I had no idea what to write, so I came up with something which I hope is kinda funny?

Originally posted by amarnaphile

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Our Little Secret - Part Eleven

Summary: Dean and you try something new on the way to your next hunt

Series Masterlist

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Square Filled: free space for @spnkinkbingo

Kink(s): Sexting

Word Count: 3400

Warnings: Smut, sexting, language, flashback in italics, texting is in bold and italics

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. I’m really loving these character and this series. Thank you for your wonderful responses. A special thank you to the people who looked this over for me.

***THE TAGLIST FOR THIS SERIES IS CLOSED**

It’s been three weeks, three freaking weeks since Dean has touched you and you are dying.

The first two weeks had been because you were healing up. He was pretty sure you had cracked ribs and your shoulder had been really sore, so he wasn’t going to chance hurting you, even the couple of times you had insisted.

Then you had gotten the bright idea to tell him either he could have fun with you, or you would take care of it yourself. Dean promptly made sure the two of you shared a room with Sam at the next motel, a smug smile on his face, daring you to go right ahead. If you weren’t so nervous about being caught, you would have called his bluff.

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