im not a photographer dont look at me

last night when i was photographing onstage with Rise Against Tim (the singer, if you dont know the band) walked back to where I was standing (behind one of the LED screens next to the drums) and he looked at me and gave me a smile and a lil nod and then put his hand on my shoulder as a way to say ‘is everything cool? are you having fun? we’re happy to have you’ and i put my hand on his shoulder too and was like ‘i am your photo ghost!’ (as in, im trying not to be seen and sneak around on stage bc thats what you have to do when youre up there) and he laughed it was such a nice moment. and several times while i was up there i had to pinch myself and i couldnt believe i was onstage with my favorite band and they and their crew were so nice and i was honestly in such a 'wow im so lucky i get to do this’ moment and i still am


don’t talk to me about even meeting isak in that locker room after taking the courage to break up with his four year girlfriend for this boy and then having to hear from that same boy that he decided his life would be better off without mentally ill people around him,,, dont fucking talk to me about even realizing what that meant. about him having to make a decision right there, for both his and isak’s sake. don’t talk to me about even looking isak in the eyes and saying “i think they would love you” while knowing that might be the last time they ever spoke to each other

an-average-creature  asked:

So I had a thought. (Major spoilers my guy for the taz finale) Taako gave up his beauty in Wonderland, so do you think it bothers him to look less like his twin? To no longer deeply resemble the sister he forgotten about for so long and lost? This idea haunts me.

i think in the months following the hunger’s defeat and the recovery of his memories, he might feel weird about it, but you dont really look at your own face too much unless you look at photographs.  but i think its definitely jarring for him at first, if he and lup stood together in front of a mirror, he might subtly tweak his appearance back to his old self,  maybe just to be a little more like lup than his actual old self.  

i think after a while it wouldnt bother him so much, he’d just be happy to have her back.

Where do the words go?
When Im chewing them like bubblegum,
Swallowing them like tylenols,
I wonder what happens when I will be gone.
There are no happy endings inside of me.
I wanted to text you last night but all my letters have been stolen.
I punched a wall instead, it hurt less .
There is a lot of emptiness I dont know how to fill,
I look through photographs backwards
To the night i had it all,
So i can find the exact moment
When I lost it.
How am I supposed to be happy when my sky is always dark,
When my skin is always bleeding,
When i keep feeding myself with words only?
I watched the whole Harry Potter series five times but I am no wizard,
I dont know how to turn the graveyard inside me into anything else
But more death.

Where do the words go?
I knew that I may never be able to get over it
In the second i put my feet in that old trainstation.
Who knew that heavy arms arent necessarily meant to push you down?
Who knew that you can be a flame without burning down everybody around you?
It was freezing cold inside of me when i met them, my bones were aching and
They still are, aching for better days, but they aren’t shievering anymore.
Im starting to forget winter.
I want to believe the part of me that fell on the pavement,
Remaining there as a memory of who we once were,
Has found its happiness.
I may never be fine but i hope that perhaps, some day, a part of my will.

Where do the words go?
I am still searching,
I must have burried them
In somebody else’s palms again.
Im sorry, I may never be the girl you need,
I may never be the one to save you but
I can promise you i will stitch your wounds with gentle touches
And i will heal your scars with warm kisses and
I may not be able to make you stay but i will make sure you will remember me
When the sky breaks open again.

Where do the words go?
I see my childhood best friend a lot these days.
I wonder if we’ll ever be able to recover after all the things we’ve lost
That summer, the rain is still pouring hardly inside his eyes and
I can still hear the scream of a shattered heart piercing through that silence
We’ve left behind.
All this sadness will absorb us soon enough and
All this suffering will drown us.
How many nights can you spend staring in the infinity before you realize
That nothing can save you?
His mother asked me to do something to keep him here but
I’ve lost him already to some better people
That have brought him in a worst place and
I dont know how to reach him anymore.
He’s gone and I must learn the art of grieving the loss of a person
That is still alive.

Where do the words go?
I may never find the answer but I know that they aren’t mine to keep.

anonymous asked:

have you ever embarrassed yourself in front of Gerard?

honestly, no. also im the kind of person who isnt easily embarrassed. like even when i do something embarrassing i just go like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and laugh it off. i guess i have a few ‘omg that was so lame’ moments like when i got Gerard a box of Frankenberry cereal as a ‘thank you for letting me photograph your signings’ gift like…im standing there with the staff and Jon Rivera and Becky and Gerard comes in and we say hi and i pull out a box of Frankenberry like ‘hey here have a box of cereal i know you like it and you cant get it here’ *trying my best not to sound like a fangirl and act like i just happened to find this when the truth is my main dude @davidbowner​ send it to me specifically to give to Gerard* lmao

look at it there it is sitting on the shelf next to him during the entire signing lmao

and when we were finishing up and he packed his bags full of gifts he had gotten i was like ‘DONT FORGET YOUR CEREAL!’ and he was like rushing towards it like ‘I WONT I WONT!’ and grabbed it looking at me like \ (•◡•) /

i mean it wasnt embarrassing or lame really just lame in the sense that i show up like a ~professional like ‘oh im just here to photograph your signing’ and gift him a box of Frankenberry like Anna youre so transparent you know everything about Gerard and his cereal blogs about his love for Frankenberry are your favorite thing lol but he was excited about it so whatever

There seriously need to be more cosplay photographers out there who know how to direct their subjects. Like, I cant tell you how many photoshoots I’ve bombed because I never learned how to model for someone else and I just don’t know what to do. I stand there like “okay I look rad, but what do I do?” and the photographer is standing there like “i dont know, something I guess?” Like seriously Yall should have some kind of warmup or SOMETHING to at least get us going, I’m sure after a few poses we’ll get the hang of it but its just starting thats just difficult as fuck.