im laughing so hard right now holy shit

anonymous asked:

I FORGOT ABOUT THE SKIN FIC WHEN I SENT THAT PROMPT I REGRET MY ENTIRE LIFE.

IM LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME SMILE HOLY SHIT MY GRIN IS SO BIG I LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT RIGHT NOW AHAHA

anonymous asked:

OH MY GOD IM GONNA PISS MYSELF. So I'll explain the 7% cuck thing. Me and my friends took a stupid cuck test, to see how "cuck" we were, and this other person in the chat we were in took it as well, and got 7% cuck. Thing is, this dude WOULD NOT stop going on about "I'm only 7% cuck hahahahaha you're all more cuck than me" and we turned it into a joke because this guy was so goddamn obnoxious. He is barely active in the chat anymore as a result, but holy shit. I'm laughing so hard right now.

i only drink 1% cuck milk

Integration-- pt 1/7 [Homestuck, john/karkat]

Part 1, length: 2989 words

Author: codedredalert

On Ao3. Part 1, Part 2, Part 2 notes, Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5Part 6 , Part 7 (end)

Summary: The university that John Egbert attends recently decided that everyone staying in the dorm has to have a flatmate that’s not their species. Karkat Vantas has a lot of things to say about that. They share a home for three and a half years. Disasters were bound to happen sooner or later, right?

Warnings (this part specific): canon typical abusive language, interspecies relationships, one sided blackrom feelings, alternate universe-freeform, universitystuck

A/N: for crabapples97, my giftee in the ssjohnkat2014.

Hi! Super belated merry Christmas/ Happy New Year, sorry I took so long! This fic is 10k and growing, and I’m drowning in IRL things. I’ll just post it in parts on tumblr, and consolidate, edit and post on AO3 when I’m done if you prefer to wait. Also, this is red Johnkat endgame I swear. Ijustreallylikemyblackromimsorry. I’ll try to get part 2 up soon, but I can’t promise actual dates. I hope you like the fic though!

===/\===

.

The inside of the apartment is dark except for the light streaming in behind you. There are two crescent slivers of reflective yellow at eye level. You squint and can just about make out a person standing just before the squareish room cut to a narrow corridor.

“Welcome, human,” the person growls. He’s got this low, rough voice that’s really interesting. He spreads his arms, and you see the movement, but can’t make out much else. He’s wearing black.

“Welcome,” he continued, “to the complete disaster that is the destined-to-fail exercise of forcing a nocturnal and diurnal species to cohabit the same premises on a functional schedule without killing each other. I am the unfortunate fucker designated as your co-sufferer. Merry fucking Christmas.”

“Hi Karkat,” you say. In the dark, the person shifts.

“What?” he says, suspiciously.

“That’s your name, right?” you ask rhetorically. You happened to see the log thing when you collected your keys, and you’re pretty sure you have it right. “Karkat Vantas. Or am I saying it wrong? Vantahs. Van-tass? Vantas-tic! Heheheh.”

Rrrrhhhstt, stop. No. Do not mangle my name with your ridiculous hopbeast teeth. Do not so much as fucking look in my direction, understand, human?”

“Wow, rude. My name’s John, not ‘human’. John Egbert, actually.”

“John human Egbert,” Karkat says flatly. “You overestimate how many fucks I give. I give approximately zero fucks. We stay in the same goddamn apartment because of the integration policy this schoolfeeding facility decided to ram up our wastechutes. We are not, and we will not become, human ‘friends’. At the end of our miserable two sweeps here, we will ideally part ways without so much as looking back. After four sweeps, I want to be able to say ‘who the fuck is John Egbert’ and you will not even recall in the vaguest the name ‘Karkat Vantas’. Are we clear?”

“Karkat?” you say, when you think he’s done. “No offence, but you’re a huge weirdo. Anyway, which room is mine?”

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