im just the king of excuses

anonymous asked:

What if Steve doesn't know how to work a parachute but is too embarrassed/stubborn to admit it?

oh, that little shit knows how to use a parachute. that’s part of what makes him so dang terrible. he knows full well how to work a chute. he’s just a moron. 

we’ve had this conversation a lot.

‘its stealthier, buck,’ he tells me.
‘it wont be stealthy when they hear me yelling at you all the goddam way down, steve.’

'im superhuman, i can survive it!’ he insists.
'well, that’ll come in handy when im kicking your butt for being such a dumbass.’

'im afraid of heights,’ he blatantly lies.
'then why’d you get so freakin tall??’

'i just don’t like parachutes, though, buck,’ he says, like that’s any sort of excuse.
'and i don’t like it when you die from stupidity, but that’s never once stopped you from trying. now strap the fucking chute on before i ziptie you in a crate and ship you back to peggy.’

is

it

just

me

or

does

disney

channel

have

a

thing

for

twins

headcanon that ronan gets gansey very drunk one night and in his alcohol induced stupor, with ronan egging him on, gets giant raven wings tattooed on his upper back in jet black ink, all the way down the back of his arms to his elbows and the words “regis corvi” written vertically between the wings.

Friendly reminder that Bronn (and also Tyrion who is currently on the other side) told Jaime to flee but he decided to stay and fight the enormous dragon with his people. He is on the side of justice and peace and everyone is always talking about his incest (even when im pretty sure Jaime has grown feelings for Brienne and vice versa; also she is like 80% of his character development). Excuse me but i know Jaime Lannister is an idiot yet all his actions show his willingness to sacrifice himself. He saw his people being burned alive and i bet he just wanted to stop the Mad King like he did before since this family is all about ‘burn them all’. And he is willing to die just to take that tiny little chance to stop Dany and her Drogon.

Not One, But Two Soulmates (Laurens+Lafayette)

Prompt: Day one of @helplessforbroadway ’s write-a-thon

Pairing: John x Reader x Laf

Word Count: 620

Warning: None

—————————————————–

There I sat in the town’s smallest coffee shop, typing away at a failing novel. “I’ll never be a fucking writer, I should just stop.” I sighed, dryly chuckling. I closed my laptop and took a sip of my iced coffee. I sat down my cup and put my head in my hands, my attention being caught by the chime of the bell above the door. I watched at a tall dark man walk through the door followed by a shorter man. I studied their details, taking in the finely trimmed facial hair of the taller man and the freckles that covered every inch of the shorter man’s face. I shook my head and turned back toward my shut laptop. I couldn’t help but overhear the two ordering their coffees before they sat down at a nearby booth. I tried but I couldn’t stop staring even as they engaged in conversation.

“John, you’re being ridiculous cats are better than dogs!” Cried the Frenchman, Laf, was his name from what I had heard. “They’re fluffy, and they go in a box, easy cleanup.” He smiled but, John, I assumed, shook his head.

“Dogs are way better!” He started, “They’re cuddly, they can be fluffy, they’ll warn you if someone’s breaking in, they’re always excited to see you! Do I need to go on?” I couldn’t help the hearty chuckle that slipped past my lips, the two turning their heads toward me. I quickly looked away, picking up my pen. I wanted to butt in but I held my tongue writing my opinions on my wrist, right below the shopping list that was etched into my skin this morning.

“Both. Both are good.” Is all I write, looking up at both the men as they continued on with their conversation before both of them grabbed their wrist, grimacing. My eyes widened, no way, I drew a quick heart beside my previous statement. I watched again as they grabbed their wrist, grimacing again. “If you two are my soulmates, hop up and down on one foot,” I started to chew on the pen and watched as the two of them get up and hop up and down on one foot, their eyes scanning the coffee shop. “Holy shit!” I gasped dropping my pen, both of them quickly looking over toward me.

“You! Let me see your wrist.” They rush over toward me, holding out their wrists, on both their left wrist was the grocery list and my statement about the cats and dogs and he small heart I drew. On their right was the command I had written.

“No way!” Squealed the Frenchman, Laf.

“I mean, well, both of you?” I coughed, and they nodded sitting down in front of me, “How?”

“Well, fate,” Laughed John, “Allow me to formally introduce myself. I’m John Laurens. I’m 25, I love long walks on the beach, cuddling, sleeping in-”

“Excuse ‘im. I’m Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier, Marquis de Lafayette-”

“That’s a mouth full.” I laughed,

“You can call me Gil, Gilbert, Laf, or Lafayette. I do not enjoy sleeping in, I’m a morning person, I like running in the mornings, and I love cuddles-”

“Enough about us, how about you?” Smiled John,

“Uh, shit! This is a lot!” Both of them scooted back, “No, it’s not that, it’s just the idea of one soulmate was overwhelming but two? God.” I giggled, “Anyway I’m Y/N Y/L/N. I also enjoy king walks on the beach and cuddling, and I am not a morning person.” I laugh. We sat there and we talked for hours until the shop closed. We exchanged numbers and promised to meet up again soon. Soulmates, eh?

Awkward Attraction (Part 5)

Pairings: Roan / Reader

Warnings: Fluff

AN: I did it!!! I love this part so much!! *Dancing around the throne room as I wrote it* 

If you want to read the previous parts of this story they are here:::
Part 1 
Part 2 
Part 3 
Part 4 

If you want to be part of my Taglist just add yourself over here…. TAGLIST 

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“Roan?” You’d never seen the king look so troubled before, in fact you didn’t think you’d ever seen him look troubled full stop. “Roan?” you tried again when he hadn’t reacted to you calling him the first time.

“I can’t deal with you right now Y/N”

“Excuse me?”

He sighed crossing his arms over his chest as he finally looked up at you from his throne. “I’m tired Y/N. I can’t cope with your sarcasm right now”

“That’s ok. I don’t have any sarcasm right now” you came closer to him perching on the arm of his throne.

Roan might be fun to taunt and tease but only when he could fight back. It was no fun to play with something that wasn’t going to fight back.

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on?” Roan just looked at you curiously. “You don’t have to but sometimes it can help, you know, to talk about whatever it is”

“Wanheda…”

Well now it all made sense, Clarke had a distinct skill at making anyone she talked to miserable. You didn’t actually know how she managed it and you didn’t envy her the talent.

“What has Clarke said now?”

Roan turned completely to face you on the throne, he looked like he was considering something very hard. Finally he reached out taking your hand in his own and lacing your fingers together.

“Destroying A.L.I.E it wasn’t the end”

“What?”

“The radiation, it’s coming back. Bigger than before and it’s going to destroy everything Y/N. All of us, if we don’t find a way to stop it”

Whatever it was that you’d expected him to say it definitely wasn’t that the world was about to end once more in a cloud of acid radiation.

“Radiation?”

Roan sighed rubbing his spare hand over his face “I scared you?”

He had actually, the idea of dying not high up on your list of experiences to do. You nodded at his question. “Yeah I’m scared, but that isn’t your fault. You simply told me what I asked”

Roan gently pulled on your linked hands giving you the chance to not move if you’d wanted. You found that you did want to though. You allowed Roan to pull you off the arm of the throne and onto his knees. He wrapped an arm around your waist as you wriggled slightly getting comfortable with one leg on either side of his own.

You’d never been this close to the King before but it wasn’t awkward. In fact it felt more natural than anything else to sit there your faces close together as you stared into the pale grey of his eyes. Roan was an incredibly attractive man, a fact you’d been doing your best to ignore for a while now. However, if the world really was going to end once more in a fiery ball of radiation death then you may as well enjoy yourself in the time left.

“What do we do?” you asked him quietly.

“I don’t know” he confessed “I have no answers for this. There are no battles to be fought, no warriors to defeat. How do you fight an ending you can’t see?”

You shook your head placing a hand on his chest flattening your palm over his heart. “I can talk to Clarke and the others. Find out what is actually happening”

“Thank you” he lifted his hands from your waist to frame your face an almost smile hovering around his lips. “I think this is the most polite conversation we’ve ever had”

“And whose fault would that be?”

“From your tone I’m guessing it’s meant to be mine”

“Of course dear it’s always going to be your fault”

Roan shook his head at your teasing, at least for once recognising that you were simply teasing him and not attacking. “Then I apologise most sincerely my lady”

You actually smiled at that “and I thought you were too tired for sarcasm my King?”

Using his grip on your face Roan pulled you closer so his forehead could rest against his own, you could feel his breath on your skin and your whole body was tingling with awareness of how close he was.

“I was wrong” he lips brushed softly over your cheek just off of your mouth. “I’ll never be too tired for you”

“Good answer” you moved your head the fraction to the left that it took to line your mouth up with Roan’s.

The kiss was soft, sweet in its newness and you felt yourself falling into his body allowing him to lead you somewhere you’d never been before. There would be time later for rough touches and angry battles between your bodies for right now though what you both needed was the gentle touch of each other. A balm to soften away the fear and unknowing of what was coming.

Exo Theory Rant

Okay guys so something has been on my mind. Now that a lot of my fav groups just had comebacks and all that fun stuff, I have realized how much i miss exo???? Anyways I sense a comeback real soooon so I gotta add what’s on my mind. None of this is confirmed or is completely true, i’m just theorizing different things after posts I have read in the last couple weeks. I also do not know if anyone else was thinking the same thing??? 


Okay awhile back there was this whole thing about exos comeback and the rumored theme involves them being kings and or knights of shining armour. And then recently (this is not word for word) during the Exo V broadcast Jongin was sharpening an imaginary sword and said something along the lines of “Dont mind me sharpening my sword”  now apparently this is also an idiom for working hard in Korea, but I swear he could have just said “Im working hard” without actually doing the motions of sharpening the sword. 


AND THEN SUHO SAYS SOMETHING LIKE “please don’t misunderstand, this is not a spoiler” UMMMMMMM EXCUSE ME BBBOOOOOOYYYYY I BET NO ONE WAS THINKING THAT BUT NOW YOU GOT ME THINKING.

I mean it seems suspicious tooo me. Maybe they will be kings or something in their comeback. I mean I would be down for that 100%.

Originally posted by blondejongin

anonymous asked:

Who is bolt? I've heard him mentioned before and im just confuzzled

Excuse my horrible MS paint skills.

Bolt is the Mecha that Ruckus built out of a ancient sword. That happened to have the soul of the dead elf king Boltanas bound to it. Now they’re stuck together.

Hamilton Characters as shit the Squissy Squad said:
  • Hamilton: CALL ME A GREMLIN AGAIN! I DARE YOU
  • Burr: KiLl iT
  • Laurens: Nevermind, I’m still gay
  • Mulligan: did you just say you were gay for a horse?
  • Lafayette: Now if you excuse me, I’ll trash about you in my first language
  • Eliza: hi...um...I love you...
  • Angelica: I AM HERE AND I AM IN PAIN
  • Peggy: BINCH IM BEING FORGOTTEN, 0/10
  • Maria: Sad, stressed, and well dressed!
  • GWash: I leave for ONE damn hour, and you guys are already killing each other?!!?!?
  • Jefferson: im a wonderful wife i can cook uh mac n cheese
  • Madison: im sick, im dying, and somehow im still petty
  • King George: hello naughty children its murder time,,,,,
  • Phillip: ...I will fight you...
So what's the hype for Haikyuu all about??

So I said I wasn’t going to do this but here I am… So, I wanted to understand what the hype was about Haikyuu so I decided to watch a few episodes…. ONLY a few episodes and that would be all…
I have currently binged half of season 1…
My notes so far are…
Hinata is far TOO PRECIOUS FOR THIS WORLD
Kageyama has the hots for Hinata + plus is trying to be a better teammate 😭😭😭
Yamaguchi looks far more intimating in his introduction then he actually is and I love it
Tsukki is salty like the dead sea
Tsukkiyama judge you together
Noya DON’T CALL YOUR SEMPAI A WIMP!! 😭😭😭😭
AAACCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
And I’m not gonna lie, and I’m sorry for this, my nips got hard when KageHina did the thing… YOU KNOW WHAT THING!! Whhooossshhh ggwwaasshhh!!!

…….

Those are my notes so far… Have I missed any??

UPDATE “I KNOW IT WELL” 😭😭😭😭😭 Asaaahhiiii

UPDATE UPDATE The GARBAGE DUMP FIGHT IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN AND IMMA BOUT TO BARF LIKE HINATA ON THAT BUS!! 🐈🐦🚮

Consequently, a dump is where I belong because of how fast I’ve become trash for this show..

——-

“THIS👏IS👏THE👏VIEW👏” - Asahi, probably

I LOVED THE SUPPORT FOR THE ACE!! ESPECIALLY FROM NISHINOYA 😭❤❤

I’m so emotional over the whole losing teams montage 😭😭😭😭 But, as sad as it was I’m actually kinda glad they showed it… It’s something that usually gets glossed over because the other teams are just there to make the main characters look good but… This was just…. I really liked that they showed it…. It was 3am and I was crying like a little biscuit

I swear I’ve never used so many crying emoji’s before

Yams… 👏WHAT👏ARE👏YOU👏GOING👏TO👏DO👏???👏

“FLY” OH MY GOD HINATA!!! AAAaaAAHAhhhHhh

TAKE👏DOWN👏THAT👏WALL👏AAAACCCCEEEE

I will be continuing to binge this even though I have a homework assignment due today… Thanks a freaking lot Haikyuu!!

“Well you don’t HAVE to binge watch it” you might say

To which I’ll say “Yeah, I gotta….I HAVE too” ——

“I’ll be doing the same thing again so pay attention ” AaaahAhahHahHHhHhhhhH 😵😲😵😲

WHAT THE HECK!?!??!?? HE FIGURED IT OUT!!!! OH MY THICK GRAVY!!!

They’re switching???????

THEY’RE SWITCHING!!!!!!!!!!

“Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! ~” - Suga sweet as sugar, and probably the best thing ever 🎶Suga Suga how’d you get so fly ~🎶 Suga could punch me in the face and I’d feel #blessed *like he smacked Asahi and Daichi around 😂

I’m also learning that my sexuality is slowly turning into the way Daichi says “Don’t mind, don’t mind” and Suga’s little “Hey” hand wave when he’s spilling the tea about other teams plays and patterns 🍵🐸

“Kn-Knife… Nuff… Nice.”

THE FINAL SET!!!!!!!

I have to know! Do they win or lose?? No don’t tell me I have to find out myself but Im so nervous I don'tknow if Icanha dle all thid pressure whatis going tk happpen???????ruun run jump jump ggaaahhhhhhhhh

YAMA👏MY👏PRECIOUS👏BABY👏👏YOU'LL👏GET👏YOUR👏CHANCE👏😭😭

YAMAGUCHIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!

———–

HE’S NOT THE LONELY KING ANYMORE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

please excuse me… I need to go finish crying, throw up, cry some more, take a cold shower, take a nap, regroup, control my thoughts and emotions, and then come back…..

OH no yeah yeah no no no please start the next episode berating me about what just happened as if I haven’t already cried and thrown up enough! Oh ho apparently NOT!! oh oh great no yeah great I’m not crying you are and yes I AM!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Okay so, I’ve finished the first season and I’m very emotional right now…. I’m gonna watch the OVA before moving on to season two because *black and white film actress voice* I’m a old fashion kinda gal and I like to take my time

The first thing I’m going to say about the OVA is OH MY GOSH KENMA WAS PLAYING MONSTER HUNTER AND I’M FREAKING OUT BECAUSE I LOVE THAT GAME AND HE IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL!!! Thank you for your time

THE👏ARE👏ALL👏PLAYING👏MONSTERHUNTER👏AND👏I👏AM👏 GEEKING👏THE👏FREAK👏OUT

They.Saved.The.Cat.

“I’ve never shined so bright before✨” - The Principals bald head probably

3

Dear friends, 

                  I’m sorry for having to re-upload this again… and tagging y’all again ;-; ah, my precious post just didn’t sit well with me (for some reason it was screwing up and not letting me tag everyone/anyone…) I don’t want to miss a chance to say thank you to my followers/friends/etc… so i am redoing it. Hope y’all understand, thanks! 

                                                                                              much love, Kitty

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ampersandra  asked:

Of course, Dipper gets summoned for the first time Post-Transcendence and make a huge nerd of himself. No one is impressed but thankfully it's just like an older teen going "haha what does this do" But he gets really embarrassed and flustered when Mabel asks later, so for days she can hear Dipper shouting out vague threatening greetings in different spooky voices until at like midnight a month later she hears another one and Dipper just goes "YES"

“dipper can u please stop talking to yourself in the mirror I’m trying to sleep”

“excuse u im practicing being terrifying”

“how about you just show whoever summons you your internet history”

“mABEL”