im just complaining

the year is 2030

a standup comedian goes up onto the stage of a packed venue, he is holding a small binder

once he reaches the microphone, he clears his throat and says

“that feel when you’re a student athlete and someone asks what your favorite bible verse is”

he opens the binder to the first page and takes a printed out image of a mature teenage boy, about highschool age, smiling intensely with an extremely bright lens flare coming off of both of his eye, and holds it up for everyone to see

the audience howls with laughter

cameras from around the stage zoom in on the piece of paper and a 30 foot screen behind the comedian lights up with the very same image

the man on stage is not happy. the audience could see it in his eyes if they just looked. he wishes to be anywhere else but where he is. but he knows this is his calling. he cannot apply himself to practically benefit humanity, and so he must fill the need that this niche audience demands.

later that night, he cries as he browses stock image websites for pictures to use in his next performance

anonymous asked:

I would read the crap out of your bitty in the NHL fic

(anon is referring to these tags:  #b r a h#i have a solid 2k of backstory for how bitty could have started hockey earlier and been good enough to sign with the NHL after graduating#it involves bitty’s aunt connie john johnson’s mother and the edmonton oilers#idk if i’ll ever post it because i’m only done the outline of the fic#(thats just the 2k prologue lol) from this post

ME TOO!! I want to read it so bad, I just don’t…. want.. to write… it…… 

This is the summary though! 

Eric Bittle expected his first year in the NHL to be difficult. He expected the long road trips, the aggressive checks, the constant fatigue, the rampant homophobia lurking under the surface of a culture that put traditional masculinity on a pedestal. Less expected is the balancing act that is his social life. Putting up with a surly captain while keeping in contact with friends from college and slowly falling for an anonymous guy he met on tinder were not a part of Bitty’s contract with the Providence Falconers.

Yes, Jack is the guy he met on tinder. No, neither of them know that. 

I really want it to be a multi media story so it includes tumblr posts, newspaper headlines, text messages etc. for example, from chapter 3:

Tumblr post. fyeahjarse: Did you hear about Zimms helping Eric Bittle?? They’re doing extra morning practices together??? Look at my son helping my other son, what a good captain. -> reblogged and someone adds doodles of them as falcons a la the penguin artist on irl hockey tumblr (ninja omelet) 

(BMC) Michael in the Closet, Song Parody

Parody: Michael in the Closet
Actual Song: Michael in the Bathroom
By: Be More Chill, The Musical

(Based on an anon ask to @irl-michaelmell

I am hiding in the closet
For…. Well, basically all of my life
Should I stay right here, or come out clear?
I have no idea which one is right

I’m a gay guy in a closet
Because Jeremy is too goddamn cute
But I’d rather stay friends
Than risk making that end
By confessing to a crush he won’t want

Everything felt fine
When he had no Christiiiiine
At least then I could sit
And wish/pray and dream

Now I’m just…
Michael in the closet
Michael in the closet day and nightly
I want to scream and shout
I’m just Michael in the closet
Michael in the closet every day now
NO I CAN’T COME OUT.

I’m waiting it out ‘till I’m out of school
And hoping that Jeremy will still think I’m cool
I’m just
Michael, who’s a homo
Michael with his rainbow
Michael in the closet by himself
All by himself

I am hiding but he’s out there
Lucky buddy gets to be fully straight
Memories get erased, loyalties replaced
And what if that ever happened to me?

And I hear a white jock laugh at his friend from next door
‘I’d totally bang you, no homo’
And my feelings sink
Cause it makes me think
I wouldn’t mind the first part if done to me so–

Now it’s just
Michael in the closet
Michael in the closet all his life now
I have regret my patch
Michael in the closet
Michael in the closet all his life now
That stupid rainbow flag

I’ll wait as long as it takes ‘till no one can tell
If I have to change myself, then so it be, oh well

I’m just
Michael, who’s a homo
Michael with his rainbow
Michael in the closet by himself

‘Why, why, why, why…?’
They’re gonna start to ask soon
‘Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t…?’
Sure I’ll get a girlfriend soon!
‘Like, like, like, like…?’
It sucks I can’t just tell them true
‘Are, are, are, are…?’
I wish I were a braver dude
‘You, you, you, you…?’
I have no words left that I can say
‘Gay, gay, gay, gay…??’
I didn’t choose to be this way
‘No, no, no, no…!’
I throw my hood over my face

And I am in a better place
I open my mouth to say I’m straight
But by their looks I know I’m late

And I can’t help but yearn
I wasn’t born like this
But then I look in the mirror
And the present is clear
And I start to wish

I, I
Had

*choked sob*

Some more courage…
Is that too much to ask
For
M-m-m-m-m, Michael in the closet
I need courage
This is a heinous life
I wish I’d stayed at home in bed, blanket over head
Or wish I never fell for Jer and met a girl instead!

I’m just
Michael with his pride flag, so 'he must be an ally’
Never had a girlfriend, 'he must be real slow then’
Michael, who’s a homo
Along with his rainbow
Michael in the closet by himself!

All by himself
All by himself

When you say 'be straight, or you’ll go to hell’
That’s okay, I can pretend as well.

anyways i’m tired of ppl complaining about how selfish/hypocritical/aloof bluestar is in BP and how the erins should have wrote her “this way” instead to make her more sympathetic with the audience like girl!!! the erins wrote her like that in BP as foreshadowing!!!! how are u all so blind 

All a stage (Reader x Yondu Udonta)

A/N: I’ve been looking for a way to use this song in any of my fics. It’s suuuuuch a good cover. I am a broken human being, btw. Warning: Spoilers ahead!

★★★★★

Originally posted by scorpling

I don’t want your number (no)
I don’t want to give you mine and (no)
I don’t want to meet you nowhere (no)
Don’t want none of your time and
No, I don’t want no scrub

Yondu Udonta liked to see your performances when he could. It wasn’t often, but every time he did appear, you were glad. It meant he was still alive and still safe. No one knew, but every time you saw that Centurian in the crowd, your performances would be particularly phenomenal that evening.

You liked to joke and tell him that he was your lucky charm and that he should visit more often, but the both of you knew it was just a half-hearted ploy for him to see you more because anytime he was at your side, he was safe. Anytime he was away was another chance for him to be gone forever.

Keep reading

HAVE YA’LL NOTICED how quick garnet is to apologize and admit when shes wrong. see exhibits A, B and C: “i should have listened to you. you’re a crystal gem too.” (marble madness) /”i took a risk at your expense. i thought there was a chance we could grow closer” (future vision) /”im sorry, i saw her find all of us, i couldn’t be here with you” (stevens dream) LIKE 

meanwhile pearl traumatizing connie, (see: connie flipping out on that kid because of her training) letting steven fall in roses scabbard, almost killing him in space race, doesn’t even warrant a recognition that what she did was fucked up? let alone an apology?? im losing it scoob

3

An AU where young Keith, a Filipino-Korean, moves to the USA; on his first day at school, he refuses to talk, partly because he’s not exactly very sociable but mostly because he’s incredibly embarrassed about his English and lack of proficiency in it. O and shiro walks in

TRIPS OVER MY OWN FEET oh my god this was supposed to be black and white but then i wanted to paint but then gave up andCHRIST. my art style changes 600 times during this comic its dISGUSTIGN. THEN AGAIN it was rly rushed i just wanted to get this idea outta my head before school starts.

As voted by everyone, Gumi is officially crowned the #1 Lesbian, Queen of the Gays as she undeniably has the most amount ship requests out of any vocaloid ever mentioned on this blog 👑 Bow down to the queen

So I’ve been thinking

The reason why Sidon is so big compared to the other Zora’s is because he’s royalty and male Zora royalty tend to be larger than the average Zora given their royal status and such throughout the Zelda games

So by that logic that means Prince Sidon is gonna get as big as his dad right?

SO BB IS GOING TO GET REALLY FRICKIN BIG IN THE FUTURE IF I’M UNDERSTANDING THIS CORRECTLY NINTENDO