im gonna panic and delete this

Eridan: Panic

cA: no i said too much im gonna delete that

cA: howw the fuck do you delete an email

cA: sol help me wwith somethin real quick

tA: what, me?

cA: no the other eyesore wwho shavved exactly half his fuckin face and quit

tA: got bored wiith iit, fuck you

tA: what do you want, ii haven’t even had my coffee yet.

cA: howw do you delete an email after you sent it

tA: ha2 iit been over ten 2econd2 2iince you 2ent iit

cA: yeah

tA: ii hope iit wa2n’t naked piicture2 then becau2e that 2hiip ha2 2aiiled, lol.

cA: oh god oh god

tA: what wa2 iit, you’re kiilliing me here.

cA: i sort a got upset and ranted about some really personal things to someone i barely fuckin knoww 

cA: like resentments and anger and wwhatnot

cA: wwhat wwas i thinkin

tA: ii am 2o not caffeiinated enough two deal wiith thii2 riight now.

cA: theyre gonna think im a wwhiny pussy

tA: well, iif ii may poiint out–

cA: goddamn it sol wwould it kill you to not make flippant fuckin remarks at my expense wwhen im clearly in pain

tA: ehehe, no, probably not.

tA: ii wiill take thii2 bullet for you, but only once.

tA: becau2e ii under2tand what iit ii2 two be 2pattered iin the foul 2pray of one'2 own uncontrollable emotiional diiarrhea.

tA: wa2 iit really that bad?

cA: i dont evven knoww i just felt so shitty for sayin it as soon as i hit the button

tA: can ii offer you 2ome word2 of wii2dom that help me exactly half the tiime?

cA: sure

tA: fuck iit. that ii2 all. just, fuck iit.

cA: wwoww sol thats profound you should wwrite self help books

tA: hey iif we’re doiing iin2ult2 after all ii can ab2olutely go back two that, but ii of all people know poiintle22 2elf-loathiing wank when ii 2ee iit.

tA: and ii say agaiin: FUCK IIT.

tA: 2o you’re the weiirdo who 2end2 awkward emaiil2, on top of everythiing el2e that make2 you weiird?

tA: fiine, then. that'2 you, and you’ll liive. fuck iit.

cA: fuck it huh

cA: easy for you to say

tA: ye2, 2o ea2y.

tA: from the liip2 of one who ha2 been naked iin traffiic on two dii2tiinct occa2iion2 to your 2hell-liike ear

tA: 2o come2 my completely unearned pronouncement of ultiimate embarra22ment 2urviival.

cA: wwhat 

cA: twwice?

tA: and who al2o once deciided he wa2 iin harry potter, except for real, and told everybody about iit.

cA: oh my god

tA: above the age of twelve, ii miight add.

cA: okay maybe you knoww wwhere im coming fr–

tA: and hacked a government web2iite lookiing for proof of contact wiith aliien2, you wouldn’t beliieve me iif ii told you whiich one but iit wa2 on the new2.

cA: did you find any

tA: no more than the u2ual.

tA: and ii have had 2ex wiith a lot of uh, not partiicularly advii2able partner2, let'2 ju2t leave iit at that.

cA: little hint maybe

tA: there wa2 a full-body snow leopard outfiit iinvolved ED plea2e don’t make me reliive iit.

cA: the fuck

tA: look my poiint ii2, you wiill liive, and after you don’t diie from the 2hame, you wiill have one le22 thiing to be afraiid of. 2o, fuck iit.

cA: huh

cA: fuck it

tA: ye2, gra22hopper.

cA: FUCK it

tA: good, now ju2t repeat iit every hour on the hour for the next 2eventy year2 or 2o and all wiill be well.

tA: can ii go iinhale my coffee now?

cA: yeah thats cool

cA: and then shavve the rest a your face its like moldy lookin and naff as fuck

tA: ok, mom.

cA: uh sol

tA: what.

cA: just

cA: snoww leopards

tA: FUCK IIT.