im going to see the hobbit

5

Legolas reports back to his father.

anonymous asked:

OOH OOH OOH I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR STORIES ABOUT WHEN YOU WERE IN THE CHRISTMAS CAROL (i only know this bc i was looking at the tags below your wizard of oz post im not a stalker ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)‎ ) okaY ILY SPICY MEME QUEEN

ahem ahem yes yes helo and welcome to today’s episode of Theatre Story Tuesday; today we’ll be chatting about the winter show I did in 2014, A Christmas Carol. 

In this play, I played a lil homeless child named Shifty, and I have plenty o tales to spin ok ok lesgo *stacks notecards*


• ok so when we were getting our costumes there was this super rad coat lyin on the bench of our costume room and since it was like October I was a lil cold so I put it on; now you guys remember Sue from wizard of oz right- well here she is again, and she’s in charge of costumes. She goes over to me and she’s like “hey why do you have that coat on” and I’m like “I got a lil cold” turns out Sue is like “I like that coat on you, I think I’m gonna have you wear it in your costume” and I’m like hoooolyfriiiick this is such a cool jacket i swear and I ended up getting to wear it for the show 

• the other street rats and I assembled a “thug squad” during tech and called it West Side London, and we took sharpies and on opening night we wrote “WSL” on each other’s arms so we could have thug tats for the performance  #WSL4LYFE 

• at like the first read through we thought it would be funny to take poor quality panos of the room, and I got this super creepy picture of the guy who played Fred, and afterwards we got da whole theatre squad to make it their profile picture on Instagram #toddtakeover2k14

• EVERYONE SHIPPED PAULA DEEN AND GORDON RAMSAY IN THIS CAST INCLUDING ME YEP I WAS PROBABLY THE FIRST OR SECOND MOST HARDCORE SHIPPER IN THE WHOLE SHOW WE CALLED IT PAMSAY 

• the ghost of Christmas present had to throw glitter on the thug squad, it was lit asf

• we assembled a lil choir of like 6 or 7 in our dressing room and recorded a straight fire cover of “Love is an Open Door” from Frozen 

• the kid who played Tiny Tim is a freakin legend, he may have an insanely smooth face and look absolutely innocent, but on the down low he the hardest hustler in the streets

• DIRTY LITTLE GUTTER SNIPE was the go-to insult at the time (this term came from one of scrooge’s lines)

• it took us like .05 seconds to strike this set 

Purple Pickles was the main inside joke, but I’m not finna go into details bc it involved me and someone else who may or may not have been tryna holla; everyone else in the cast was tryna squeeze the love jooce- someone even wrote a whole frickin fanfiction series now that I remember 

• we had a German exchange student play Mr. Fezziwig, and in the makeup room before opening night we had him say “booty booty booty booty rockin’ everywhere” to see like what it sounded like with an accent and he said it and we were all so proud

• I still have a 2 minute video on my iPad of where a few people had downloaded Doctor Anna Foot from the App Store onto someone’s phone and were making an “Anna Foot Hurt Let’s Play 2k14” video

that’s about it y'all, I gotta go get ready for my first day of a brand new school tomorrow, we got the hobbit comin up next tuesday so stay woke ily all see you on the other side of the war

2

Nothing Gold Can Stay for Annie

‘That doesn’t seem like a sound strategy,’

'Ridiculous strategies are the only ones I seem to be able to come up with where you’re concerned.’

6 kobalds dead by hobbit boobs.

From the 13th age campaign that brought you a paladin in a yellow ducky suit comes a random selection of statements and events that occured during the last session of the campaign. (for those who dont recall, our players are a gnome rogue, a forgeborn paladin, and a hobbit ninja)

(while fighting a hungry star)
Gnome: Oh hell no, I’ve seen enough hentai to know where this is going!
Hobbit: *proceeds to pull out steam powered camcorder to record where this is going*
Paladin: i kick the hungry star in the jackobits.

(about to fight a bunch of kobalds)
Hobbit: My corset falls off.
GM(me): ……you…..im sorry, it what?
The rest of the party is laughing at this point.
GM(me): *proceeds to roll to see if Kobalds are mezmerized by hobbit boobs. Rolls 6 20’s in a row*
GM: *completely done with this shit* i never thought id have to say this, but…all 6 kobalds are now dead because of the hobbits spectacular mamories…

(other random quotes)
Paladin: The gnome goes where i go. She’s is mounted on my head.
Gnome: im not very good at handeling a stick.
Hobbit: I stab the kobald from behind in the jackobits.
GM: I will never again underestimate the power of a hobbits hooters.

No but consider that Bilbo not being much smaller than dwarves was mainly a production choice for the movies so as to not over complicate the scaling process between species. And in reality Bilbo was actually at least a foot shorter than the average dwarf. Which isn’t even taking into account that Thorin was meant to be very tall for a dwarf. 

So while Bilbo was probably more like 3′6, Thorin was closer to Richard Armitage’s extimate of about 5′2. I feel extremely robbed of getting to see Thorin Oakenshield towering a foot and a half over teeny Bilbo and the rest of the dwarves fretting over how small hobbits are and whether they’re going to break their poor burglar if they get too rambunctious.

10

Barduil Time!!!:

“Thranduil , the Elven King, and Bard, a boatman of Laketown , were lovers before the arrival of the dwarves of Thorin Oakenshield and the awakening of Smaug . After the Battle of Five Armies, and the appointment of Bard as King of Dale , they decide to marry and unite their kingdoms into a powerful alliance. The years pass , and that is when Thranduil begins to notice the passage of time in Bard , who is aging rapidly before his eyes. After a horrible dream where Thranduil sees his fate after the death of Bard, the Elven King makes a hard decision and undertakes a task away from Bard , who is spending his last years of life . When Thranduil returns to Mirkwood, he explains his plan to his husband: go to Valinor and take Bard with him no matter what . Bard agrees , takes the hand of Thranduil , and boards the ship with his elf. They  arrive to Aman and live the rest of their days together.”

Language

***omigawsh I loved the Newt british accent one so much! can you please do a part 2? like them using stupidly english phrases that nobody else understands so the others are like what? sorry for my grammar Im terrible. love your blog!***

Part 2 of Mate. Again thank you Queen of The Hobbits (a.k.a Partner in Crime, Imagines of Every Fandom) who helped with the dialogue because I know bugger all (see what I did there?) about British Slang

“How was your first shift as a track hoe?” Newt asks with a smile as he pops a grape into his mouth.

You sigh. “I’m bloody knackered, I feel like my arms are about to pop off. The blinkin’ sun was so hot I swear I’ll go barmy by the end of the week… How d'you think it went, mate?

He nudges you gently. "Only day one of many, Greenie.”

“Oh, bugger it.” You groan, placing your head in your hands.

“Not your cuppa tea?” He asks.

“I don’t want to whinge but blimey mate I’d rather leg it into that bleedin' maze before I go near another chuffin’ weed.”

Thomas looks between the two of you. “Can you please talk in a language I understand?”

“Are you having a laugh, mate? I’m speaking piggin’ English, ain’t I?”

Thomas blinks a few times, try to comprehend the sentence just sprouted at him. “What?”

Newt looks like he’s having a grand old time watching him struggle. With a smile, he translates. “(y/n) just explained to you that we’re speaking English, Tommy. You got a few screws loose or what?”

You look over at Newt. “Maybe he’s just deaf as a doornail?”

“It’s not my fault you two say weird things!” He throws his arms up in exasperation. He gets up and walks away from you but before he's out of earshot you hear him ask himself, “What the hell is a "piggin’, anyway?”

Don’t let the fire die.

luckiest day of my life. went to the Toronto hobbit premier and sat RIGHT IN FRONT OF lee pace and the cast before the screening! Lee was super polite and adorable and he and the rest of the guests (Pete Jackson, Philippa Boyens) sat pretty much IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AUDIENCE (aka directly 2 rows behind me). Had a blast tonight. U GUYS NEED TO WATCH THE MOVIE ITS GR9 KTHXBYE 

3

WELCOME TO ANOTHER EPISODE OF “SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE? (FANDOM EDITION!)”

OUR FIRST CONTESTANT IS DOCTOR WHO! Matt Smith accompanied by Karen Gillen in this spicy interpreted dance! Always remember kids, when in doubt, flail your arms and hope that no one is watching you.

OUR NEXT CONTESTANT IS SHERLOCK! Benedict Cumberbatch recreating the dance style formally known as The Creep! Its a shame Martin Freeman couldnt join, he was too busy being a hobbit.

LAST BUT NOT LEAST IS SUPERNATURAL! Jensen Ackles accompanied by Jared Padalecki in this saucy shimmy! Idk whats better, their dancing or Jensens face saying “Im going to seduce you with my sexy moves.”

THATS ALL FOR TONIGHT FOLKS! REBLOG WITH YOUR FAVORITE FANDOM WITH:

#Doctor who
#Sherlock
OR
#Supernatural

WE’LL SEE UOU NEXT TIME ON “SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE? (FANDOM EDITION!)

  • Person: *Has a differing opinion to mine*
  • Me: :) cool, I still love you and respect you for your opinion!
  • Person: *ships a ship I don't personally like*
  • Me: :) That's awesome! Everyone's free to like things, dude
  • Person: "Technically, Tolkien separated the after lives, so really all the people of different races that died won't ever see each other again no matter what you ship. It's sad, but-"
  • Me: fIGHT ME