im going to find that pen

your name bleeds from my pen and these pages are screaming your name. i want to call out for you, but instead im stuck with this never ending pain. my ribs are cracking, while my hearts slowly shattering and these pages know all about you. how much i loved you and how hard it is to try and let go of something that once begged you to hold on, to keep fighting. you see, even my journal is consumed by you and i keep finding ways to try and rewrite you so i don’t have to let go.
—  this can’t be the ending.
5 things tag thingy

thank you so much @mike-fucking-wazowski for tagging me! It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these things


  1. Custard filled bread (vaniljbullar <3)
  2. A tide-to-go pen if i ever get a stain
  3. School stuff
  4. Some tampons
  5. Dirty workout clothes 


  1. A ukulele 
  2. Watercolor paints 
  3. A red, knitted mermaid blanket
  4. Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy (and a lot of other books too)
  5. A variety of hair products


  1. Adopt a whippet or a greyhound
  2. Live on a farm and have lots of alpacas
  3. Buy a binder
  4. Make art wether it be paintings or small crochet animals or sculptures
  5. Go vegan


  1. Stardew Valley
  2. Steven Universe
  3. How to care for mice
  4. How to cook really tasty indian food
  5. Adventure Time


  1. Do some tidying in my room 
  2. Meet up with my friends from church
  3. Make naan bread
  4. Relax
  5. Meditate


  1. I’m a vegetarian
  2. I get migraines from time to time
  3. I go horse riding every week
  4. Libraries are one of my favourite places in the world
  5. I got my moped license last year but I haven’t been able to drive because my bastard moped won’t start!!!!

okay so i tag @candithedog @sallolomafy @rangertreaty @master-of-dogs-asses @pissyteens

8:39pm 7/6 II went kind of out of the way to visit a kinokuniya bookstore!

What I use for Sketching! part two...pens, pencils and paint!

So I get this question a lot a lot so I’m glad I can finally make a post to answer all your questions!! Here…we… go…

1) Pencils

So I honestly use nothing special when  it comes to sketching in pencil. I just have a mechanical pencil with .7 led and some old random erasers I have found around my house. I used to have kneaded erasers, which are like my favorite, but when you go to art school people take those things all the time. So im stuck with whatever erasers I can find lol.

2) Pens 

I was never really into pen work till the end of last year so all I did was gather pens that I saw my classmates using and test them all out. These are the few that I love most and use all the time.

1. Pentel Stylo: A great pen that my friend got me for christmas. It’s thin and has a sharp arrow head point to get the sharpest lines. I mostly use this for details in the face or other smaller details.

2. Staedtler triplus fineliner: I found this pen on the ground at my school. Its really nothing fancey. Its a fine liner so it make super thin lines but of course its not good with line weight. Any red pen would really do, but this was the only one I have so its the only one I use lol

3. Prismacolor Premier fine liner marker (01): This is another fine liner that I use for small details. Its good for really thin lines and is good when I don’t want to create a line with too much line weight. I also use a Pigma Micron (02) in place of this some time, both really do the same job. This is the best for the smallest details. They are also great for when you just wanna sketch in pen! 

4. Pentel Pigment Ink Brush Pen: This is like my most expensive pen but god do I love it. Brush pens are super hard to get used to but once you get the hang of it they are so much fun. They are great with line weight and surprisingly you can get some of the smallest lines with this bad boy. Its refillable and everything so you don’t have to worry about buying another one when it runs out. One thing to worry about is that it is a brush so the hairs can flair out. If a hair flairs out and will not go back to normal I just snip it off. 

5. Faber-Castell Pitt artist pen (big brush): I got this one because I needed something to color in things with black and man does it get the job done! Its a felt tip so it won’t get fine lines but it can cover a lot of space. My only problem is that it’s different ink than in my brush pen so if I color in an area with my brush pen and do the other half with this guy, you can tell the difference. 

3) Paints 

I don’t use paints that much in my sketches but I want to start using them! This is just kinda a little start too it. I always wanted to use metallic paint with some of my sketches and man they were worth the buy. They are just cheap 4 dollar acrylic paint so nothing fancy at all. The brushes are some cheap ones I have always had with me. Again nothing too fancy since I’m just sketching. But if you want to get serious with painting like I hope to soon, when I have the time, be sure to buy a nice brush! Bushes are super expensive but if you get a nice sable brush your life will be so much easier.

4) Tips

My tip for you guys is to just go out and try everything. You won’t know what’s your favorite until you use them all!!

This is a picture of everything I keep in my pencil case just to show you how many things I have tried! Some things i use for fun some things I haven’t even touched after the first time using it. I just like to keep everything handy incase i want to try something new! The fun thing about being an artist are there are so many mediums to use so dont be afraid to have fun with it and explore!  

If you have any other questions feel free to message me :) 

ps sorry if i spelled something wrong lol

Toothpaste (Open Starter)

The almost teenager found himself chewing on he end of a gold-decorated pen, the kind you find in hotel lobbies, for the last few hours. Flakes of gold have already worn away to reveal a translucent, grey plastic, and indented tooth grooves. He rocked the pen between his two back molars until be could feel a crack forming in the tubing.

Before he could take the pen out to inspect the damage, he already managed to burst the bitter ink onto the back of his tongue. Dipper gagged at the taste, making all the ‘pfth’s and “brpht’s necessary to spit at least some of the black liquid out. He would have to put the mysteries of Gravity Falls on hold until he could brush the taste out.

A quick check in the bathroom mirror revealed that his mouth was amidst the infamous ‘goth’ phase where nothing was safe from the deep black ink. As Dipper placed a pea-sized amount of paste on his toothbrush, his eye caught onto something moving in the mirror. 

my father came into my room while i was away took my tablet pen and hid it somewhere?????? and i just now realized that because i finished my hw and wanted to draw and couldnt find the pen anywhere & it was weird to me because i remember putting it next to my tablet yesterday so i asked him about that and he said that yes he hid it so that i dont waste my time on that stupid shit anymore

yeah well this stupid shit is the only thing that makes me happy


It’s not like Julius is actually writing
down his life story, but he does find it
a bit weird to already be holding three
empty ink pens. The wall isn’t even a
fourth-full, and most of the scribbles are
just tally marks. It makes no sense that
all the ink is gone already. He can’t help
but be irritated that he has to leave again
just to go on the hunt for another one. At
least he knows what he’ll buy first when
he gets a job and money.

Also, this time he’s dressed when he steps
out of his room. The suit pants that he had
to sew in fits nicely now and the shirt he got
doesn’t hug his body. He can move without
feeling exposed. His bandages are all covered
up and he doesn’t have to be afraid of someone
seeing him. It’s getting better and better to live
here for everyday that passes.

The corridor is as quiet as ever as he sneaks
out into the living room to look through the
drawers he found the other pencils in. He
expects the room to be empty, but look at
that, Andrew’s sitting on the couch, staring
at a glowing screen that Julius has learned
is a laptop.

“Sorry, I didn’t see you.”

[He waits for a reply, but gets none. Hopefully
Andrew isn’t mad at him. Since the flight on the
roof Julius hasn’t really seen him and what has
it been, a week? When they went shopping
Andrew had blamed his silence on being tired,
and Julius had tried to drop it, but he couldn’t
help but glance at him more than necessary.

Either way, Julius frowns when Andrew doesn’t
reply. The silence is bothering him more than it
probably should and he walks over, standing at
the end of the couch, but still there’s only silence.
He doesn’t even look up. Julius swallows.



Julius’ lower lip disappears between his teeth
as he crawls over the armrest and he scoots
closer, reaching out and gently shakes his
shoulder. Andrew’s got something weird on
his ears, big and round. If it’s a hat Julius is
definitely questioning his fashion choices.

“I hate the silence treatment,
Andrew. Don’t do that.”