im crazy what am i doing

fazzycaz  asked:

gibbe da pusi b0ss B0ss pls I have a cancer b0ss You probably think im a fucking crazy woman for saying that

*Casually clears his throat*

Okay I LITERALLY DO NOT C A R E what anyone else thinks BUT THE ENGLISH VOICE ACTING IN FFXV IS FUCKING PHENOMENAL. I Am always biased towards japanese voice acting ALWAYS. BUT this game literally changed everything. like RAY CHASE FUCKIN SLEIGHED NOCTIS like everytime noctis yells I FEEL LIKE IM ON THE DISC OF CAUTHESS. And GLADIO LIKE C A S A N O V A BOI CHRIS DID SUCH A CRAZY EGWUWWJWJ JOB. AND PROMPTO MY BABY ROBBIE LIKE ALL PROMPTOS GIRLY sceams are on point. And ignis LOW KEY SASS FREAKING ADAM THANK YOU GOD. Ardyn, is a blessing in the voice acting squad. Darin… *cryin* YOU DID G O O D.

  • person in the 1960s: the cia controls the media
  • other person in the 1960s: oh thats just silly conspiracy theory shit, you're just crazy its not true
  • person today: not only does the CIA control the media but the FBI too has been granted the legal right to control it.
  • other people today: yeah we know. lol what can you do am i right?

I am slowly developing a crush on the nice guy who sits next to me in class because he keeps showing so much interest in what im doing and spent all of the post test asking me about what kind of stuff goes into 2D animation and that line of work. He said “its crazy im getting so into it now cause like you get so excited while talking about it that now im like ‘oh shit this is super cool’”
He got so excited when i told him i had a sketchbook and asked me to bring it to class on Thursday. I drew a picture of him and another girl in class, just a doodle and he waited till the teacher turned his back to lean over and take a picture of it
Then we started talking about him and what he likes and he laughed at my jokes it was really great

The reason ive been less active...trying to get me away from my abuser.

I guess Ill just get right into it. I need help. And as always in this crazy fucked up world the answer: money. Yes im in desperate need of money. I am 22, I am still living with my dad who for a majority of my life has controlled and mentally and physically abused me. If some of you may know, I have been in a relationship for more than a year and we decided we wanted to go off and you know, make a life together. Sounds easy, I mean hey, 22 im an adult i should be able to go off and do what I want…no. My dad HATES me interacting with the outside world. If I try to hang out with friends he tells me im betraying the family and im a “honkey” lover. If I try to pick up more days at work he comes into my job and watches me, making sure im actually at work. He yells at me, even locks me out of the house and says he “didnt know I left”, When I hang with my boyfriend he calls me a slut, he tells me He’s using me for money and sex (just gonna put it out there couples help couples and we have EQUALLY helped each other). Whenever I try and tell my dad my opinion on anything he tells me im just a dumbass woman. Im fat and undesirable and people only hang with me to use me. He gets in my face, threatens to beat me etc etc…Its gotten me to a point where EVERYDAY I am fighting suicidal tendencies…I have attempted suicide over 50 times in 2016. Everytime I thought about doing it I told myself…it can get better, I have to hold on. I confided in many people who have tried helping me, some buying my art and some giving me money. On my birthday my boyfriend and I decided we would live together on April 17th, we have not been able to find anywhere to live but we can do that later, the rent at his house is pretty high, he lives with his mom who curently doesnt have a job so most of the rent would fall on him and I. We decided to move out on this date cause the weather would be clear and he would have some money saved, right after taxes and all and he said April just feels like a time of new beginnings. He felt my dad would come around to the idea…I know he wouldnt and it would be violent, possibly. I havent told him yet. And he doesnt work so sneaking out of the house would be impossible…I guess ill mention the other problem I have. Medicine. I suffer from trigeminal neuralgia. The medicine has been stripping me dry of money seeing as they only give me two weeks worth of it and I do not have health insurance right now, the one i was on told me I was making’too much’ and they could not help me anymore. So I am fucking struggling for money, I had a goal to earn between $4000-8000 before April 17th…and trust me i know thats pushing it! But I am determined. I have an art shop that I will be uploading in a few days and if people want to donate at Id appreciate it. My co-worker gave me an idea to put my story out there and just see what happened, doesnt hurt to try im sure I fucked up this whole thing im writing this in the bathroom on my lunch break so im rushing….im desperate. I need to FINALLY live my life…If you took the time to read this I appreciate it…and If you would repost this, id appreicate it too. Even if you cant donate or buy my art, just wishing me luck means so much to me!! Thank you for reading loves…

Im good for a while
I’ll talk more, laugh more
Sleep and eat normally
But then something happenss
Like a switch turns off somewhere
And all im left with is the darkness of my mind but each time it seems like I sink deeper and deeper, drowning and no one can tell no one can help me and im scared, terrified that one day I won’t be make it back up
I feel like I am gasping
Screaming for help
But everyone just looks at me
With confused faces
Wondering what I am struggling over
When they are all doing fine
It makes me feel crazy
Maybe I’m better off dead

What the hell is wrong with me




Thank you all so much!!! I cant believe i am making this post?? i find it crazy that 3k people liked me enough to follow me! (i have 3k+ now bc i waited awhile to make this lmao oops!)

This might end up not being that big of a list of my faves/mutuals. im not sure what my plan is, so bare with me.

~ Special Shout Outs ~

Keep reading



Today is the last day of 2016! Can you believe it? This year has been a CRAZYY one for most of us (and i am no exception). My weight loss was a little bit influenced by finals & stress, which lead me to working out a little bit harder/longer at the gym. I have noticed my appetite has been lacking a bit, but Im making sure to not skip any meals (if I do, Ill make sure to replace it with a protein shake), and make sure i refuel my body after workouts. My new body confidence has allowed me to feel comfortable in clothes that Ive NEVER worn before, its CRAZY! I am going to stay on this track, and who knows what 2017 will bring. Progress is such a wonderful thing when you can see it happening before your eyes! Xoxo

thank you thank you thank you

So I just reached my next thousand and I am…. speechless. This is CRAZY. I made this blog in 2012 and all I wanted to do was express my love for this show through my gifsets and posts. It was definitely much smaller than any other fandom I had ever been in at the time but I think that’s also what made me feel so welcome.

There were some people I ended up talking to and becoming friends with but some that I never talked to and just simply admired. A lot of these blogs are inactive now but every single one of them has made me what I am today. I figured I should show my appreciation for a majority of these people. I will DEFINITELY miss out on a few people because the list is, believe it or not, quite long despite the size of the fandom. Anyway, here I go! (this is in no particular order btw)

  1. I’m gonna start with @kinneysexual. Oh my goodness. Where do I even begin with Cami? When I joined the fandom, I think you were probably the most popular qaf blog/giffer (well you were to me, anyway). I was SO inspired by all your wonderful and unique gifsets and I’m pretty sure I would just stare and stare at them for hours when I could. I’m not kidding, I was so so so impressed and in awe of your talent and ideas. I don’t think we ever talked privately but anytime you reblogged one of my sets or mentioned me in a post, I would just DIE of happiness because you were honestly my QUEEN hahahaha. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have gone on a massive giffing spree when I made this blog. Thank you.

  2. @kinneys. What the hell would I have done without your BEAUTIFUL qaf edits? I ain’t playing, y’all. Alice would take a few screencaps from the most difficult show to colour, put them together and turn them into ART. FUCKING ART. HOW???? I JUST DON’T KNOW TO THIS DAY. THANK YOU for making the show look a million times prettier than it actually is. Your skill also inspired me to edit even though I was never and will never be as talented as you are. Thank you.

  3. @kinneyism. You are absolutely brilliant. In a way, your gifs are DECEIVING because you look at them and you’re like “wow! this show looks nice! It seems like the type of show that wouldn’t be complete torture to colour!” Well NOPE. YOU JUST HAVE MAGIC POWERS. I’m not kidding, while you inspired me to make gifs, I also felt extremely intimidated by you and would sometimes think well, what was the point of even trying to make gifs when art like yours already existed. But I pushed myself anyway and I never ever would have without your help! Thank you. 

  4. @bottomvich. Another amazing, talented person. You were one of my biggest inspirations in this fandom. I don’t know what else to say other than thank you for blessing us with your gifs and edits. Your edits were gorgeous enough and then you gave us A LOT gifsets and just wow. I’m glad that I found your blog and that you were one of the people I really looked up to. Thank you. (also I’m pretty sure I’ve reblogged every single one of your qaf edits)

  5. @celebrate-the-victories. SARAH!!!!! This is super cute ok but I did a lil bit of research and I’m pretty sure this is the first post of yours that I reblogged. So basically in four years, the tags I leave on your sets are still exactly the same??? Why am I not surprised????? OKAY MOVING ON TO THE MUSHY MESSAGE. Your blog REALLY stuck out to me. I was mostly seeing these really great Brian/Justin edits and I loved them but YOU. You posted these GORGEOUS gifsets of Ted/Blake, sets of them I had never seen giffed before and coloured with such a distinct style that made my heart warm. I was so happy that I found your blog and I’m so so so damn happy that you’re one of the few I followed at the start and are still active in the fandom and still posting these unique Ted/Blake sets that make me wanna die. NEVER EVER CHANGE. You are truly wonderful. Thank you. And I lowkey always wanted to be your friend BAHAHAH but I don’t think I ever actually reached out to you. GURL LOOK AT US NOW, CALLIN EACH OTHER BY NAME IN TAGS AND POSTS. 2012 ME WOULDA BEEN SCREAMIN (2017 me is still screaming what am i talking about) 

  6. @xchelspaige​. Chelsee! You were one of the first blogs I followed, I think. And I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. Your gifs have always been gorgeous to me. But following you for this long, I witnessed your gifs getting better and better, prettier and prettier. The fact that you’re still making and posting your beautiful gifs l just…. This fandom is so lucky to have someone as nice and talented as you in it. Thank you. 

  7. @queerasfcuk​. Okay, wow. I don’t know how to put this… You have made some of the BEST gifsets I have ever seen for this show. Oh my goodness. Your talent and creativity BLOWS MY MIND. All your sets have thousands of notes but you deserve millions! You were one of the blogs that both inspired me and intimidated me! I love everything about your gifs from the font you use, the way you sharpen them, their speed, the colouring, EVERYTHING. Can we all take a moment to appreciate these ICONIC gifsets though???: x x x. I appreciate all the effort you put into creating sets like those, I know I couldn’t do it. I can’t even tell you how much you really inspired me. Thank you.

  8.  @ksica​. ONE WORD: HOW??!?! Just the other day, I was stalking my own blog (LMAO) and in one page, I reblogged a bunch of your qaf sets in a row and holy wow…. You have the most distinct colouring style on this entire site, I think? I’ll see a gorgeous and vibrant set and I’ll just know it’s yours. I don’t remember if I initially followed you for doctor who or queer as folk but damn I’m pretty sure you can colour ANYTHING. You are sosososososoososososo talented and I wish my qaf gifs were at least near your level. And you’re also just ridiculously nice??? Your entire blog is everything I aspire to be hahahahahaha. Thank you. 

  9. @candlewinds​. JEEEEESS!!!!!!!!! I miss you SO much wow! I don’t think I followed you until I was maybe in the fandom for like two years or so??? But I remember seeing a bunch of your edits and just being completely amazed and inspired by you. You don’t wanna get me started on your gifsets PLS. You were one of the people with superpowers. The powers to make a 144p show look 720p. I CANNOT TELL YOU what your blog meant to me oh my god. I think you’re one of the first few friends I really made in this fandom and I’m so glad we really ended up talking instead of just reblogging each other’s posts and talking to each other through tags HAHAHAHA. You are, without a doubt, one of THE nicest people I have had the privilege of meeting. I remember we became friends then I went on a massive hiatus and when I came back, you were one of the first people to talk to me and you said something really sweet like “I’m so glad to see you on my dash again!!” and it made me so happy to be back. Thank you. 

  10. @justintaylor. OKAY, LISTEN, LAURA. I LOVE YA AND I HATE YA. HERE IS WHY. I REMEMBER THE EXACT MOMENT I FIRST SAW ONE OF YOUR QAF GIFSETS. I was literally in SHOCK. I was like “wait……..wait… why the hell does this look like it was giffed from a 1080p download/blu-ray dvds??? those don’t… exist for this show???” And so I stalked your blog for hours a lil bit and my jealous ass found out you had the dvds and I was FUMING ASIDHASOIDHAISHI I don’t think I had the desire to buy the box set until I saw your gifs tbh?????? I miss your qaf gifs so much though! I still think your sets are some of the prettiest in this fandom ever!! Maybe one day, I will make it to your level <3333 

  11. @itsbriankinney. LEIRE! I wonder if you’re sick of me praising your gifs at this point HAHAHAH IDC IMMA PRAISE THEM FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I already had the dvds when I followed you and I might as well BURN THEM ALL tbh. You don’t have the dvds and yet your gifs are better quality than mine will ever be lmao ashiahsiohasduaiasdhi and I can’t even hate you for it because you’re only the sweetest person on this planet omfg. I’m so grateful to call you one of my friends on here like I feel honestly BLESSED hahahahaha. I’ve only been talking to your for a short time but for some reason, I trust you with my life??? And I feel like you’ll always have my back and that’s such a nice feeling to have??? At first, I loved your blog for your qaf gifs but now I love you for so much more! I also realised we watch a lot of the same shows and share the same opinions and ships which is a plus! Thank you for being so kind to me. I hope you know by now that I will always be here for you!

  12. And last but definitely not least, @xoxoemynn​. The first post of yours I saw was a response to an ask. I don’t remember which one it was but I remember being so in awe of how well you wrote. So obviously I had to stalk your blog for days and read as many of your analyses of the show/britin as I could. Yeah, I got nothing I needed to do done during those times bahahaha. TOTALLY WORTH IT THOUGH. I’m pretty sure ever since I found your blog, I desperately wanted to be your friend lmaooooo. So when you first messaged me, I was honestly fangirling, I’m not kidding. FANGIRLING. AND LOOK AT US NOW!! ACTUAL children laughing about things only CHILDREN laugh about iadhaishiashdaih and sending each other screenshots and talking like teenagers in high school and tbh I wouldn’t have it any other way. I also can’t think of anyone else I would have wanted to go through my biggest Tumblr drama with AHAHAHAHAH. You made me almost cry laughing during a time I probably should not have been laughing oh my god. I cannot imagine what I would have done without you. YOU ARE JUST SO GENUINE AND WONDERFUL AND I CAN’T BELIEVE I AM LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO SAY “EMY IS MY FRIEND GUYS”. Thank you so much for your generosity and for making me laugh and for being there for me and for existing. Ily <3 

Unfortunately, some of the blogs I wanted to mention have deactivated and/or changed their urls and I don’t recognise them anymore. But just know, there were a lot more people who are in this list. And I’m so so so grateful for every single one of them. Thank you for making my time in this fandom nothing but wonderful. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Lonesome. Its a funny thing.
Being alone in a crowd.
What do they call it?
The lonely heart, the bitter one?
The clingy, needy young girl.
The bossy, trouble maker
Easy to love at first, but hard to love forever.
Has friends, but they don’t really care
Is shushed, told to be silent, but can’t help being naturally loud.
Dramatic at most, solemn at best.
Cares about everyone and everything,
Sometimes too much though.
Hates being told what to do and when things don’t go her way.
Is called perfect sometimes, but is far from it
If you look close into her eyes, you can see her yearning to be found, to be loved unconditionally.
Doesn’t want any strings attached, but she comes with strings.
A desire to fit in, so much she is willing to destroy herself in the process.
Maybe she will be lost forever, maybe thats who she’s meant to be.
The feeling of being unwanted always scratches in the back of her throat.
Acts strong but underneath that tough skin she is weak.
Looks up to people and yearns for their friendship and acceptance.
A little girl at heart.
A failure at best.
She is lonesome and lonesome is her…
—  Alexis Pendleton

secretlyavelociraptor  asked:

I've been following you since your second post with Lillie and I'm still just as hooked as I was then. You're an amazing writer! What advice would you give to someone wanting to start their own legacy blog??

oh my god. you’ve legitimately been here from the start thats so crazy IM LIKE EMOTIONAL THAT YOU’RE STILL HERE AFTER ALL THIS TIME THANK YOU it honestly means so, so much to me. !! ❤️

as for the advice, I’m never too sure what to say for this since I sort of just fell into it, you know?? but I guess the biggest thing is to just have fun with it and stick with what you know you want to do and shit. this post actually gives some good advice which I am shit at doing lol but yeah, just jump in there and you’ll find your way!!

anonymous asked:

OMG i love your blog more than anything!! lmao i dont use tumblr at all but i found urs looking for cc or st about a month ago and i check it like 3 times a day! i have a day off work tomorrow too and im gonna use it to download all of the woods idk what ill do with them but i need them even just to look at in my game ok???!!! i really want to start a simblr just bc of your one too now omg!! srry 4 soundin crazy but I AM A BRATSIMS MEGAFAN!!!!!!1 :(

bratsims megafan o m f g ok dude make a simblr u gotta………i bully every1 into making a simlr…..simblr** so u gotta do it…..also download all the woods n make them like fight eachother 2 death ha ha lol can u imagine i wonder who would win?????????maven probably…maybe jac….first one to go tho is probably pom weak a*s b*tch omfg im sry im just typin out all my thoughts ok anyway pls make a simblr and ily…….i appreciate u ………take care……….gtg


stiles imagine / as requested

S: “i am so sorry. Im so stupid, life has been so crazy lately and i honestly..i dont know what im doing right now. Im not smart. I didnt mean to hurt you like that and you dont deserve to get hurt. Even worse not by me, i swore i wouldnt hurt you and thats just what i did. I am so sorry. please just… i cant live without you.”

y/n: “yeah i used to believe that. Now i dont.”

you started to walk away but stiles grabbed your arm to stop you. Tears were streaming down his face and he had the most sad expression in his eyes.

S: “that okay. I understand why you dont trust me. But i do promise you i will do whatever it takes. I will ask and ask. I will never stop trying to make you forgive me. I love you and i always will.”



Howdy loves :)
So I just want to apologize for how slow & terrible my replies have been. I’m sorry for one liners & if I’m not progressing the story like I was at the beginning of the threads. School is really crazy right now & im on the verge of crying 24/7. I try to be fair & if I rely to 1 thread I feel I need to reply to all others & the ones in my IM….

but sometimes I just want to focus on one thread for a bit, or I miss our thread by accident. I will get to them all as soon a possible…. so I’m sorry if this is upsetting cause I know you like getting replies as much as I do… but I need to dedicate a bit more time to school during certain hours & not stay up till 2am doing this x)

anonymous asked:

So I'm seeing my t for the first time in 2 months this week. Usually I used to see her every 2 weeks then it was every month and since the last app I haven't reached out and neither has she. But I went through a rough patch last weekend so I texted her and am seeing her this week. Im nervous bc idk what to talk about since what happened last weekend is resolved. I'm proud that I was able to go on w/o her for 2 months but now I'm so excited to see her

Hi there, I’m not sure if you want a response but I’m writing one anyway (:

You are amazing for reaching out because when things get tough that can be crazy hard to do. Glad to hear that whatever came up last weekend is resolved, but that you’re still looking forward to the session. If you need conversation ideas, you could definitely marvel in the fact that you had a really successful two! months! or you could reflect on how far you’ve come and the skills you’ve learnt. No matter what, I’m sure it will be a nice appointment. Best wishes xo

the signs as things my boyfriend's said to me
  • taurus: "Why hello there DJ Khaled"
  • gemini: "DUDE DEAN'S A BOTTOM"
  • leo: "What do you mean awkwardly? You mean. . . BEAUTIFULLY"
  • virgo: "I don't wanna break up another dog fight"
  • libra: "I need to stop biting Steve."
  • scorpio: "Easy there Tavros"
  • sagittarius: "I am geeky. Geeky dom."
  • pisces: ""not crazy" SSUUUURREEE"

anonymous asked:

I met this guy recently and everything is perfect, we connect on different worldly levels its crazy its like we both know everything about eachother without having to ask. but Im scared im going to fuck everything up when I disclose to him. it will be my first time ever disclosing to someone since I was diagnosed a couple months back. How am i supposed to make someone choose this life when we are both so young. I dont know what to do or how to do it, I really dont want to fuck this up

I would be as open and honest as possible. And give him resources to read up on it. If he still seems hesitant I would ask him to get tested and make sure he doesn’t already have it since it is so common. You can check out my stats and facts page for some resources