im crazy what am i doing

active 1m ago

1m 1m since theyve hated me 1m 1m 1m 1m 2m 2m since theyve hated me 2m am i crazy? 2m 2m 2m yes 2m no 2-3m yesno 3m since theyve hated me 3m 3m 3m 3m 3m am i crazy? 3m 3yesm no3m 4M 4 MINUTES SINCE THEYVE HATED ME WHAT DID I DO WRONG 4m 4m 4m 5m minutes since theyve hated me 5m 5m i hate them 5m 5m im disgusting 5m 5m 6m since theyve hated me 6m 6m 6m since theyve hated me and i liked them? 7m since theyve hated me 7m 7m 7m 7m 7am i cmrazy7m 7m ye7sno im notm 7m im fine 7m theres nothing even wrong with me 8m since theyve hated me 8m 8m 8m 8m 8m im going to kill myself today 8m 8m 8m 9m since theyve hated me 9m 9m 10m 10m TEN MINUTES AND IVE WAITED ALL DAY FOR THEM AND THEY HATE ME WHY DID I EVEN WASTE MY TIME FOR TH-

them: oh yeah thats so cool man

me:i know right lmao

Okay I LITERALLY DO NOT C A R E what anyone else thinks BUT THE ENGLISH VOICE ACTING IN FFXV IS FUCKING PHENOMENAL. I Am always biased towards japanese voice acting ALWAYS. BUT this game literally changed everything. like RAY CHASE FUCKIN SLEIGHED NOCTIS like everytime noctis yells I FEEL LIKE IM ON THE DISC OF CAUTHESS. And GLADIO LIKE C A S A N O V A BOI CHRIS DID SUCH A CRAZY EGWUWWJWJ JOB. AND PROMPTO MY BABY ROBBIE LIKE ALL PROMPTOS GIRLY sceams are on point. And ignis LOW KEY SASS FREAKING ADAM THANK YOU GOD. Ardyn, is a blessing in the voice acting squad. Darin… *cryin* YOU DID G O O D.

thank you

So back in April I never got the chance to celebrate my one year for this blog. There ain’t much to celebrate tho since this blog is trash and all I do is worship Wonho’s ass and talk about D 24/7 (I’m so sorry I’m shameless) but I really really wanted to make a post for all the amazing people I’ve met on here, and how much you all mean to me even though I never express any form of compassion or love and majority of the time mask it with insults hahaha

But to those who know me by now should know I do it because I like you and you have a special place in my hitlist ok

Before I start I just want to throw in how much I greatly appreciate everyone that follows my blog. I know I haven’t been active in so long and I haven’t posted a fic in ages and I’m so sorry for that. There’s been some little things here and there that have piled up and it’s taken a toll on me but hey, everyone has some rough bumps in the road and I know this and I know there will be better days, and it has gotten way better. 

For anyone that has dealt with any anxiety or depression or any sense of feeling as though it’s hopeless, I hope you know that you’re strong and you are important and here for a reason and somewhere out there, either near or far there is someone out there who wants you here and who also loves you for who you are. And if at any time you feel alone or find yourself in a tough situation, I want you to know you can always come and talk to me. And I’m not saying that just to say it, I seriously mean it. I do work and I do go to school so it may take some time for me to respond, but don’t ever feel like you can’t talk to me. One thing I actually hoped for in this blog when I made it was to help people, because I know that some (but not all) people think of Tumblr as a safe haven, and I could say I made it myself for the sake of running away from my own problems.

And here I am now, drowning myself with pictures of hot kpop guys but also meeting probably the best people I couldn’t have possibly lived without. I know we’re online friends and don’t even know each other in real life, but just know that you’ve all made a huge impact on my life and I really thank you guys. There are people I haven’t talked to much or at all, but I hope at some point in our lives we can talk about something as small as what we had for lunch today or to how big we think Jungkook’s schlong is cuz come on I know we’re all wondering the same fucking thing and I need answers too girl and it could turn out to be a beautiful friendship

Anyways, thank you thank you THANK YOU all so much for following me, giving me a chance, liking my fics, sending a sweet ask, talking to me, thank you all so much. I appreciate every little thing I get on here and I just love everyone and hope you stick around while I’m still glorifying Wonho’s ass every day. 

I’m so sorry for already making it so long but it’s about to get way longer and personal so I’m just going to cut it here so the post won’t get so annoying on everyone’s dash lol

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so i feel like a relationship with Alex would be full of sarcastic insults (e.x. “you’re so fucking annoying.”) but then the insult would be covered by a speedy halfhearted save (e.x. “but it’s okay because i am too.”). I feel like you would always yell at him and tell him to talk in his normal voice but he wouldn’t because you would get so mad and he would love it and it would end in a play fight to him but a real fight to you and then you would just calm down and eat food together (fast food). Whenever you would complain about periods or some girl struggle I feel like he would just start naming of different places that he’s got a boner and had to cover it up and been really embarrassed about it. I don’t think anything would get too serious, like sitting down and talking about how your day was shit, none of that pussy shit because that’s for pussy’s. No you guys would just either do nothing or do everything to get your mind off of it. I cannot stress how much swearing their would be. I can hear the arguments now. (e.x. “ fucking stop swearing for a fucking second you dick god dammit”) i can hear it and i am loving it. Alex seems like a lowkey (maybe highkey whatever) touchy feely kind of dude so like ass grabbing in public when no one is looking (or maybe everyone is looking) boob touching, waist squeezing stupid shit like that that drives girls and boys crazy all around the world. Can you imagine how many horrible puns and jokes would be said a day. so many that i don’t want to think about it. and can you imagine how many time you would have to say “we just had fastfood cook something” or some shit like that. im so done wWOW what am I DOING

please read and pass along so queen Vic sees it and comments on it/ reblogs (part one)

okay y'all. im goons try to keep this short. over a year ago, i began reading red queen. it was by far one of the best days of my life. im writing this for three reasons. one, i want queen v to see it and know just how much she means to me. two, today i got scared. i got really scared that one day red queen will no longer make me feel the intense love i feel now. three, i had this dream that i was a number one nyt bestselling author and me and queen vic went to go have lunch. queen vic if you read this hmu. i know some pretty gucci restaurants in ri. haha. 😂 okay so back to the beginning of the story, i was walking around bn before gs came out and i saw this book … with the most gorgeous cover i have ever seen. and then i read the back. i instantly connected with this book. i loved it so so much and i hadn’t even read it yet. my depression and anxiety were so bad at this point and i had already started cutting. so then i started reading this book, it was AMAZING. i just felt this connection with mare, as if she were real and i could just talk to her. and i felt so … not alone for the first time in a long time. it was this unimaginable love. it made my heart hurt in the best way possible. glass sword came out by the time i finished reading it. i was so so in love. ask anyone, there is not a day have gone without having a conniption at least one since i started reading it. so the next year was really hard. the arrival of kc kept me going. during that year, I MET VICTORIA AVEYARD in east long meadow at kidly winks in June of 2016. IT WAS LITERALLY THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. it was the most personal thing to me so im not gonna describe what happened other than HOLY SHIT. I WAS ON CLOUD NINE ☁️ FOR WEEKS. she was just so amazing. idek what to say. after we left the store, I cried. and honestly i miss her sm. i gave her a million hugs and was honestly an awkward but. i hope she didn’t judge too much. it was great. we hugged, complemented each other, our moms talked to each other. I STILL can’t get over it, but quite a while after that, things got so bad that i couldn’t function anymore. i was NEVER happy. i hid my rq books because i didn’t want to see them and have them lose their meaning in this dark time. so, then i was admitted to bradley, a children’s psychiatric hospital, an intensive outpatient program. the first day i was there i was determined to die. i said i would kill myself before kc because i waited so long and came so far, i just had to make it until then, right? wrong. so while i was in Bradley, i was happy for the first time in a while, but not until kc came out. everyone there, even my psychiatrist said it helped immensely with my recovery. everyone told me i look so much happier. even in that hellhole they call school. my mom said that i was the happiest she had seen me in a long time. my best friend the hope, the sparkle in my eyes was back. it made me realize how much i love some of the things in this world. when i left Bradley, everyone said i was the red queen and positive messages about how strong i was like mare. I still carry those letters around because there still are low points. they never just go away. but now there’s a difference. im happy. i have hope. for that, i am immensely grateful. i love you so so much queen vic. and let me just say, i absolutely support the end of kc. of course im sad, but i understand that as an author sometimes ya gotta do whatcha gotta do. and just like kc gave me hope in my life, i have hope and faith in queen vic and what you do with rq4. stop hating on her y'all. again, i just want to say thank you and *anxiety takes over* please don’t think im crazy. (Btw just thought of this, im gonna post some pics right after bc idk how to put them in here) i just want you to know this because you deserve to and honestly, it was helpful for me to put it all down and not try to cram it into you’re ask box in a few asks as possible. again, thanks and love you. ❤️ @vaveyard


I am slowly developing a crush on the nice guy who sits next to me in class because he keeps showing so much interest in what im doing and spent all of the post test asking me about what kind of stuff goes into 2D animation and that line of work. He said “its crazy im getting so into it now cause like you get so excited while talking about it that now im like ‘oh shit this is super cool’”
He got so excited when i told him i had a sketchbook and asked me to bring it to class on Thursday. I drew a picture of him and another girl in class, just a doodle and he waited till the teacher turned his back to lean over and take a picture of it
Then we started talking about him and what he likes and he laughed at my jokes it was really great

Im good for a while
I’ll talk more, laugh more
Sleep and eat normally
But then something happenss
Like a switch turns off somewhere
And all im left with is the darkness of my mind but each time it seems like I sink deeper and deeper, drowning and no one can tell no one can help me and im scared, terrified that one day I won’t be make it back up
I feel like I am gasping
Screaming for help
But everyone just looks at me
With confused faces
Wondering what I am struggling over
When they are all doing fine
It makes me feel crazy
Maybe I’m better off dead

What the hell is wrong with me

The reason ive been less active...trying to get me away from my abuser.

I guess Ill just get right into it. I need help. And as always in this crazy fucked up world the answer: money. Yes im in desperate need of money. I am 22, I am still living with my dad who for a majority of my life has controlled and mentally and physically abused me. If some of you may know, I have been in a relationship for more than a year and we decided we wanted to go off and you know, make a life together. Sounds easy, I mean hey, 22 im an adult i should be able to go off and do what I want…no. My dad HATES me interacting with the outside world. If I try to hang out with friends he tells me im betraying the family and im a “honkey” lover. If I try to pick up more days at work he comes into my job and watches me, making sure im actually at work. He yells at me, even locks me out of the house and says he “didnt know I left”, When I hang with my boyfriend he calls me a slut, he tells me He’s using me for money and sex (just gonna put it out there couples help couples and we have EQUALLY helped each other). Whenever I try and tell my dad my opinion on anything he tells me im just a dumbass woman. Im fat and undesirable and people only hang with me to use me. He gets in my face, threatens to beat me etc etc…Its gotten me to a point where EVERYDAY I am fighting suicidal tendencies…I have attempted suicide over 50 times in 2016. Everytime I thought about doing it I told myself…it can get better, I have to hold on. I confided in many people who have tried helping me, some buying my art and some giving me money. On my birthday my boyfriend and I decided we would live together on April 17th, we have not been able to find anywhere to live but we can do that later, the rent at his house is pretty high, he lives with his mom who curently doesnt have a job so most of the rent would fall on him and I. We decided to move out on this date cause the weather would be clear and he would have some money saved, right after taxes and all and he said April just feels like a time of new beginnings. He felt my dad would come around to the idea…I know he wouldnt and it would be violent, possibly. I havent told him yet. And he doesnt work so sneaking out of the house would be impossible…I guess ill mention the other problem I have. Medicine. I suffer from trigeminal neuralgia. The medicine has been stripping me dry of money seeing as they only give me two weeks worth of it and I do not have health insurance right now, the one i was on told me I was making’too much’ and they could not help me anymore. So I am fucking struggling for money, I had a goal to earn between $4000-8000 before April 17th…and trust me i know thats pushing it! But I am determined. I have an art shop that I will be uploading in a few days and if people want to donate at Id appreciate it. My co-worker gave me an idea to put my story out there and just see what happened, doesnt hurt to try im sure I fucked up this whole thing im writing this in the bathroom on my lunch break so im rushing….im desperate. I need to FINALLY live my life…If you took the time to read this I appreciate it…and If you would repost this, id appreicate it too. Even if you cant donate or buy my art, just wishing me luck means so much to me!! Thank you for reading loves…

“Thank god, I‘m not the only crazy one“

Request: “Yeah, and they both have these weird memories about wearing mid 20’s clothes and having conversations that they actually never had before… 🌌 I think that would be nice :3“ 

(A/N): I apologise for deleting the first part of the request, it‘s basically about their paths crossing once again after meeting each other in their past life. Thank you for submitting, I tried my best x 

Words: 1,035

Originally posted by helloathazagoraphobie

Tyler and Josh are constantly trying to add new things to their live act, so that the whole audience leaves with the best experience they could offer. On this tour, besides the tuxes, special effects and etc., they‘ve come up with the idea, to bring a fan, at each show, on stage and he or she will have the honour to do the famous handshake, from the ‘Stressed Out‘ video, with Josh. 

Of course literally everyone who‘s attending the concert knows that, therefore, just a second after they‘ve finished performing ‘Ride‘ everybody around you in the pit starts to do anything they could to get Tyler‘s attention, even if that meant climbing onto someone else‘s shoulder or scream their lungs out, like they haven‘t been doing that enough during the concert. You on the other hand, take a step back and hide behind the group in front of you, trying to make yourself invisible. Those kind of situations are one of the things that unleashes your anxiety the fastest. Obviously, you‘d love the opportunity to talk to them and touch those manly pair of hand‘s that belong to Joshua Dun, but also risking the possibly to humiliate and embarrass yourself in front of thousands of people and most importantly two of your idols at the same time? Not about that life. 

“You! The (Y/H/C) haired girl with the Twenty One Pilots shirt“ a voice rings through the microphone. 

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So like im starting to see some changes from HRT so i thought id look through some old photos and make this… the first three are from  2011, 2014 and 2016, just before I went full time at the age of 20, almost exactly a year ago. Everything but the final two photos are pre hrt, the one with long hair is a wig because i needed motivation to grow my hair out, and the final one being about 2 months on hormones at the age of 21 :)

Im just about beginning to be regularly gendered correctly by shop staff and stuff, but I think thats less down to hormones and more down to everything i’ve learnt over the last year of being full time. 

Its been a difficult year, a steep learning curve and Ive only just learnt what kind of makeup suits me, only just landed on a clothing style that I’m kinda happy with and even stupid stuff like what to do with my face when I’m happy or sad ive only just got down…

Anyway, after one year the change has been crazy and awesome and now that im on hormones and am starting lazer soon I cant wait to see the change over the next year too! Anyone (if thee is anyone) thinking ‘oh no that will never be me its too late and i look to masculine’ just do it! I thought exactly the same thing and felt exactly the same way and going full time was so difficult and such a hard decision but I’m so so pleased I did :D


I need to get something off my chest.

I am very much one of those people who let things fester secretly inside until I get sick or I explode….

The only reason I am sharing this here is because I know/hope there are people on here who can make me feel better about it.

I have someone in my life, who likes to let me know how much they disapprove of my running.

This person just happens to be a doctor and thinks “endurance” training is horrible for me since I have an auto immune disease.

This person comments on posts( not tumblr posts) and has spoken to me in person about how it is destructive and destroying my body.

THE ANGER I feel every time this happens is out of control. I received one such comment in the middle of my run today. I read it and let it fuel me which is awful.

even if i am “obsessed” with running WHO THE FUCK CARES!??

Im not an alcoholic, a drug addict or and abuser. how is this person even trying to compare RUNNINGGGGGG to these things???

I KNOW I am not crazy but what the actual fuck.

I have said, “i’m going to do what i’m going to do, so drop it” before and nope. they continue to drop their medical terminology on me as i “destroy” my body..

MIND YOU, when i’m running my disease is the most under control as opposed to when I’M NOT ( i have ulcerative colitis for those who don’t know)

ok well there it is.

i don’t even want to write anymore because it gets me SO fired up.

I almost deleted this because it was semi therapeutic just writing it but im going to just go ahead and post.

ok bye.

Please be gentle in your responses i am feeling rather sensitive.


“Let’s do something crazy.” he proposed, breaking the peace silence. 

“Shawn…I said no funny business.” you whined.

“No. It’s not. I was suggesting we go out ice skating on the open rink by the park.”

“Ice skating? At the Park? At 2 AM in the morning?” you questioned, raising your eyebrow. “No way.”

“Oh Come on Y/N please? It’ll be romantic. We’ll hold hands, skate together…Or at least Ill teach you.” he chuckled.

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anonymous asked:

omf, RFA + V and Saeran reactions to MC wearing nothing but thigh highs and their shirts. •0•

im Not Dead™ here u go y'all super sorry for the inactivity bUT my (boy)friend(?) almost died but he’s okay
anyway here’s all the sin that i owe you im gonna go on a spam today

-hey,, that’s pretty good,,
-instant boner
-then you climb onto his lap and its Instant Nut
-hell nut in his pants if you ride him still wearing both
-but wait there’s More
-wear his blue hoodie an ur dead, kid
-fucking annihilated
-rek dat poosy 2k17

-hah tbh ur gonna have to buy him a t-shirt first he probably only owns casual button ups
-forget that one pic of him with rika and v exists okay he has no t-shirts
-ride him? i think the fuck not u trick add hoe
-bUT he’ll let u do it only if ur blushing
-bc he loves when ur blushing and sitting on his dicc
-i was gonna write lap but oh well

-here come the hair pulling
-hed love to keep both on while Fuccin™ but lesbi real
-he’ll fucking rip the socks
-and wrinkle the shirt

-she’ll need cpr
-(u can set my broken bones and i know cpr,,,)
-anyway she srsly loves it
-she’s so gentle and nice and im fucking wEAK
-i,, i might be,,, g Ay,

-bye bye mc
-fucked into oblivion
-annihilated by dicc
-he’s super turned on
-him dicc wett1
-he loves the look on you
-esp if u wear his jacket over it
-hed go fucking crazy if the thigh highs have like cat designs
-wow im weak

-hey that’s pretty good
-hes silently begging you to ride him
-do it and he’s melting
-completely unrelated but what if he wears thongs around the house instead of just socks or regular shoes
-or worse what about socks AND thongs
-anyway he’ll probably tease you while you ride him
-he hates how much the socks turn him on so he ruins them by cumming on them lol

-what if dicks could like
-lubricate themselves
-why am i like this
-anyway he only owns like one shirt probably he’s terrible
-fuckin emo piece of shit

Sugakookie/ Yoonjook On Spring Day MV.

OKAY. So, I know I may not be the first one to notice this, but, there’s a moment where there’s a little of angst between Yoongi and Kookie.

Here, when Jungkook opens his eyes , we can see he looks with a kind of insecure and sad way to his right. Who is on his right? Yoongi.

He sighs and he looks defeated. Yoongi isn’t looking at him anymore. He doesnt even try to look to another way. And if you can see closely, the other members are with their respective pair. Namjoon and Taehyung, Jimin and Hoseok, and well, we all know why Seokjin is on his own. But even that, we know there’s a relationship of something between Tae and Jin, and they are “close”. But Yoongi and Jungkook arent.

They fought in Run, remember?

AAAAAAAND that makes me think that the whole relation ship they have in the hole Hwayangyeonhwa Era is slowly breaking apart, and it shows here.

It’s just something that I noticed. Maybe I’m crazy. Idk. What do you guys think? I’m jungshook with my own thoughts




anonymous asked:

hey bean what are you doing this summer? past summers ive always gone to academic camps for weeks at a time or worked the whole time and this summer (i just graduated high school too and am going to uw madison in the fall) i have... nothing.... like literally nothing going on and it's been years since that happened so im going crazy!

im going on a mexico business (if u can call it that) trip later this this week and im so EXCITED ! im going to mexico a little later with my family. And then i dont really have a place to stay in july but i really want to do a roadtrip up north through california to san fran but i dont know who’d go with me

anonymous asked:

How about an Steve/Tony Voltron AU? Oh boy...

BUT COULD YOU IMAGINE?? Tony an ex cadet of the Garrison joining up with Steve after his pod crashes from being captured by the Red Skull, the most feared Galra in the universe??? anD OF COURSE THEY DONT GET ALONG AT FIRST And Steve confesses that he’s not interested in forming Voltron he just wants to save Bucky whose sTILL ON THE SHIP and Tony reassures him that the only way to even touch the Galra is to do it together! LOTS OF STEVE THROWING HIMSELF INTO DANGER and Tony’s like ‘I thought I was the crazy one” and flying after him!?? PTSD? PINING?? KIDNAP AND RESCUE MISSIONS?? Just throw me in the dumpster now anon….

Also sorry its really messy ._.’’ I’m trying to get a better feel for bodies??

anonymous asked:

hi sims mum (i'm british sry) this is probs overdramatic but starting a legacy stresses me out and i have no motivation to do it :(( any tips for a simmer who struggles with their creative process? will need ur talent also xoxo

hi!!!!! well!!!!!! u shouldnt feel stressed u silly!!!!……my tips r: make a sim u rly rly RLLLLY love and like watch that sucker like a hawk like zoom in on them…..2 see all the dumb faces they make….maybe just take pix casually and just play ur game normally uk??? if ur like?? stress???? tht no good!!!!! just play ur game n like !!! see what stuffs happen!!!!! usually when i playin my wild n crazy imagination brain is like thinking of things tht my sims r saying wow that sounds so bonkers but thts what i do!!!!!! maybe u could do one of those get 2 kno me character thingys abt ur sim??? so u kinda give them a lil personality?????then go from there!!!!!?!?! idk :-((((( i am a bad help im just a big dummy but i hope…………………….i……………………help a lil idk i tried My Best  good luck have fun pls ♡♡♡