We Don't Shave For Sherlock Holmes
Pairing: Sherlock x Reader.
Plot:Y/N Watson, Johns’ sister, lives in 221b.
Warnings: reporting high levels of sass (Minho in disguise)
Another lazy Saturday infront of the TV. Scotland Yard can become boring when criminals are on the lie-low. Paperwork galore is all you’d been doing for weeks so Greg told you you could have the weekend off.
TV, messy bun,baggy shirt, crop leggins and unshaven legs. Yes you herd correctly.
You wern’t leaving the house so what’s the point in shaving your legs, just for it to grow back the next day?
Anyway. The TV was blaring (favourite movie), buiscuit in one hand, cuppa in the other. You were just enjoying you move of awesomeness, when a figure blocked your path.
‘SHEEERRRRLOOOCK! I CAN’T SEE THE SCREEN!’ You whined, twisting and contortioning your body, trying to get a glimpse of the TV.
'You’d be better as a door than a window’ you grumbled ( i don’t know if is said in places othen than Scotland so if it isn’t it means i can’t see cuz of you)
'Somthing’s different today…’ Trailed off Sherlock
'No s!%# Sherlock. Im off today’ you said with an eye-roll.
'No… You just came out of the shower, however your fingers arn’t pruney, indicating that your shower wasn’t as long today-’ but you cut him off.
'Let me save you the hassle- i didn’t shave mah legs’ you said shoving your leg infront of his face, stroking your fuzzy follicles and smiling proudly, as if it were an achievement.
'Oh, i don’t like it’ he stated dryly, staring into your eyes, deep into your soul.
This scares and un-nerves most people, but since you live with him, it dosn’t effect you any more.
'Oh yeah’ you said standing up, staring up into his eyes, 'what are you going to to about it?’
'Erm….’ He trailed off, one again
'Thats what i thought’ you bosted, folding your un-shaven legs under yourself, stuffing your buiscut in your mouth and chomped loudly on it.
'Why don’t you shave them’
'Because im a lazy sod. And i couldent care less about what the bloody hell you think’ you said, spraying chocolatey buiscuit crumbs everywhere 'now are you going to move, or am i going to have to play the big brother card?’
'Not untill you shave.’ He stated, smirking.
'Why do you want me to shave so badly?’ You asked
'Because a female having hair on her legs is… Wrong’
'If its so wrong for me to have, then why is it there?’ You asked
'Because its been in your DNA for generations, right back to the start of the Watson women.’ He dismissed
'Yes, and for generations Watson women havn’t been shaving their legs every day’
'So what? Dosent mean you can’t shave yours’ he said with a shrug
'Well there’s one thing your forgetting. A critical flaw in your argument. Plot hole. Buller wound. Pin-“
'Well what is this critcal flaw-’
'PLOT HOLE’ you exclaimed
'Plot hole’ he said with an eye roll 'in my theosis?’
'If there’s somthing that runs through the Watson family, its that we don’t shave for Sherlock Homes. Or Mycroft. Or anyone for that matter, other than ourselvs.’ You stated proudly.
Sherlock stood there, frozen in time. He had just been burned, and he damn well know’s it. As if on que, you heard John yell
'OOOOHHH BUUUUUUUURN! GO LIL’ SIS!’
Maby this Saturday wasn’t so bad after all.
So how was that as a first attempt? Tell me in the comments if you liked it, if you didn’t like it. I know it was short, im sorry.I’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, leave your suggestions in the comments.
Its currently 12:23am in the cold, damp Scotland, and im as sharp as a brick right now so i leave you with this
By the way, this is by no means a social commentary on leg hair. I think it’s fine for a woman to have hairy legs, and for a man to have shaven legs. I don’t shave mine because its to mutch effort.
If it requites more than 5% of effort, i aint gunna do it. ( who knows wher that refference is from?)
Song for the chapter: I Don’t Care by Fall Out Boy.