I know it sounds like some random theory, but keep reading.
A while back, I read a story that someone who met Josh posted. She wrote a detailed account of seeing him in a diner, giving him a letter, and having him write out some words from Anathema. the end of the story, she mentioned that Josh told her he had come up with the title for the song. Obviously this doesn’t mean he had written it, but several times Josh and Tyler have said that they write the poetry that contributed to the songs together, so there is a high chance.
Secondly, examine the lyrics. The whole song is about an affliction of the mind, and how the songwriter wishes it would go away. How it tortures them and takes something away. The lyrics in these songs are something that I, and anyone with anxiety, can strongly relate to. We know that Josh struggles with anxiety. While I don’t know exactly what he has been through, or is going through, I know that the lyrics are something that those who worry can relate to.
Josh also used to sing backup for this song. He doesn’t do this for every song, and obviously he had such a connection with it that he took the time to learn the lyrics. We know Josh struggles with being the center of the attention and is insecure about his voice. My guess is that this song meant a lot to him - enough for him to use his voice in it.
Finally, the last piece of evidence I’ve come up with:
We all know that in the live version of Anathema, the stage goes dark and Tyler gets on the drums and raps. Josh disappears. Like always, the attention is gravitated towards Tyler. But why? Isn’t Josh capable of drumming by himself and carrying the song? My theory is that in this moment, Tyler is standing in place of, or representing, Josh. Josh struggles with anxiety and insecurity, so Tyler takes his place to show a moment of transparency to the crowd. Through Tyler, Josh expresses what he’s going through and what the song means to him. Why else would Tyler be on the drums while rapping?
This theory could very well be incorrect, and have nothing to do with Josh, but you can’t deny there is some valid points.
(every time a song is played live by twenty one pilots, there is someone in the audience that the very song means the world to them)
i spent a couple days working on this. making a few sketches, drawing the final copy, cutting it out of a piece of cardboard to create a stencil, which i used to spray paint this. i hope that maybe one day, patrick gets to see it. i want him to see all the times i drew him, painted him, made art using him. show him that he’s a piece of art and beautiful in our eyes.