this is a long, heavy post, but ive wanted to make it for a while. i hope if you or someone you know has been in an abusive situation, it may help.
when you are abused, the true ramifications of this abuse do not manifest themselves until you are much older.
when you are abused (in any form) as a young person, your first gut instinct will be to turn down therapy/counselling. you might do this because you do not feel you need it, or you do not want to talk about what happened. you need to push past this.
when we experience abuse as young people, we may feel like it was ‘no big deal’. we may compare ourselves to other victims and feel that we are not as bad as them, so that means we are okay. you may feel okay. you may be a young person reading this right now, thinking ‘well, i feel okay.’
i know you do. we all feel like that we’re younger.
you will get older and your untreated abuse will manifest in your life, your body and your emotions. you may develop terrible habits. your body may start to react in strange ways. you may have to struggle with seemingly unexplained bouts of nausea and vomiting as a reaction to ‘normal’ events that have connections to your abuse. you may develop mental health issues and will not understand why. you may grow angry and withdrawn, or deeply depressed for seemingly no reason.
then on one terrible night, you will connect the dots and realise that although you felt invincible as a young person, your abuse affected you.
if therapy is offered to you or you can find it, go to it. abuse does not go away or magically resolve itself. no amount of pretending you are okay will take away what happened. it may hurt to revisit our old wounds, but it is the only way to heal.
it is never to late to heal. if you are an adult who refused therapy and you are struggling, get yourself there, find help, and heal. and if you are a young person reading this, please strongly consider therapy, even if you do not feel you need it.
even if you feel like your abuse did not affect you, let people in. give yourself the chance to heal. do not let your abuser take even more of your life than they already have.
Im a junior three months away from the summer and I need to plan out my life and become an adult really soon to efficiently cut off my abusive parents, so I have some adulty tips and advice for people who will soon be gone but are totally confused on how to do the adult thing
☆Learn what credit is and get a credit card as soon as you can while youre employed
Credit is basically a score you get to track how ‘reliable’ you are in terms of paying back the bank (which is how credit cards work. Ex: you pay 20 dollars for some shoes with a credit card, the bank pays it. At the end of the month you repay the bank 20 dollars for that purchase) as opposed to a debit card where you put money in and spend it basically like a digital wallet, but you need credit. Many loaners (college kids im looking at you) and landlords look at this to see if you are reliable to pay rent or loans. So make sure you get a job for at least a year before you move out to collect credit
**KNOW YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER
This is super important for documents and benefits, like insurance, passports, and even jobs.
** have some form of identification (drivers licences work best)
*try to get your license as soon as possible, not only is transportation vital but its also one of the best forms of identification
**have three copies of your birthcertificate
I know im probably missing a bunch so please comment more but i hope this helped ❤❤
"What do you want to do when you become an adult?" [Jk points to jimin]. Can you please hit me with some fics about this life changing iconic moment?
i dont know any fics about this moment so ill write it myself here u go im sry
“what do you want to do once you’re finally an adult?” hoseok asks.
it’s an innocent question, off-handed even, if jungkook takes it at face-value. but he can’t.
not when just last night, not 24 hours ago, jimin had finally, finally, let jungkook crowd him in, press their lips together and let their tongues meet in heated battle. not when briefly, fleetingly, jungkook had been given a taste of what it would be like to be allowed this.
to be allowed jimin - their hands intertwined, their bodies flush, and entangled in each other’s orbit.
jungkook wants him. wants to dance with him. to drive him places, just the two of them. to be able to stare at his pretty, pretty face without having to look away. he wants jimin.
“maybe when you’re older, jungkook-ah,” jimin had told him, months ago, gaze flitted away and lips turned down fretfully. he’d thought jungkook hadn’t known what he wanted. that jungkook was just messing around - confused and young and curious.
jungkook knows he wants jimin. he knows this with more surety than he’d ever known anything else.
he considers his options. beside him, jimin shifts uneasily at the loaded pause like he knows, his gaze bearing holes into the side of jungkook’s face. it’s an unspoken warning not to say something stupid, but something about the moment makes jungkook feel emboldened. especially the way jimin’s nervous wringing of his hands seems to have more to do with anticipation than any real apprehension.
from the other seat, hoseok, perplexed by the silence, is glancing to the manager for assistance.
what do you want to do once you’re an adult?
before sejin can signal to the camera men to cut off the live, jungkook makes his split-second decision. points a finger to jimin in silent answer.
hoseok is rendered momentarily speechless.
jimin on the other hand, to jungkook’s pride and absolute enchantment, is delighted. as much as he tries to mask it with his hand and in the way he shoves at jungkook playfully; incredulously; jungkook can read him like an open book. “say something already,” jimin manages out through giggles.
jungkook turns back to the camera smugly, knowing jimin had gotten the message. “i’m sure you all know what i mean,” he says ambiguously.
“… what the hell,” hoseok chortles, laughing it off, allowing the rest of the live to go on without a hitch.
but now, every time jimin rests boneless against his side, happiness bunching up his cheeks and turning them rosy, jungkook hears the hidden answer. this is his now. just as much as he is jimin’s.
“what’s the tastiest thing from busan?”
jungkook wets his lips; glances at jimin out of the corner of his eye before leaning into whisper in his hyung’s ear.
jimin turns jungkook’s favourite shade of bright red in seconds, flailing and smacking at his chest with weak hits. jungkook cackles with immense satisfaction. jimin always has the best reactions.
“everyone…” jimin starts into the microphone, voice faint and embarrassed. “jungkookie is an adult now.”
Why your bf go to Japan instead of going to visit you over a break??? Wouldn't that be cheaper and more fun for both of you
those are very two different & not comparable things anon. aside from them both involving travel, theyre completely separate experiences- one is kinda a “im an adult now” thing where u hav the ability to b responsible for urself and take urself away from home to a new culture all alone and spend some time learning shit (language shit and also Life Shit), and the other is waiting until ur friend is off of school and goin to their house to meet them even tho they live far away.
its not about the cost, but actually a huge part of the reason he’s doing this trip is cuz he scored ridiculously cheap round trip flights for the specific dates that he did, and had to kind of plan a trip on the fly to make it work for the dates of the tickets. this was pretty much a once in a lifetime opportunity to do something he always wanted to do during this magic window of affordability, and also an important learning opportunity cuz frankly u get a lot of street smarts doing such a huge trip for the first time on your own.
Some of the drawings i did for the holiday cards im sending out to those who signed up!! Im not taking anymore;; but if you’d like, u can commission me (😉) or we can probably do a small art trade!! Just hmu or smth, will probs take about 3-5 art trades, and unlimited commissions 😂
But yeah, i also turned 18 today 🎉🎊🎉 ! I’m an adult and im not ready for adult responsibilities 😭 ty to everyone who sent me good wishes! 💖
Hi! im 16 and still in highschool (im going to be a junior this year) i dont yet have my license (Im not really comfortable or confident driving) I did finish an internship this summer. Im planning on going to college out of the country and I would like to rent my own apartment when I do (I also want to take my dog who is a smaller dog). I would just like to know a few things I can begin to practice and do to feel like a more adultier adult and get me closer to my goal because im terrified.
20 Things to Do Before Moving Out of Your Parent’s House
1. File as independent on your taxes. We’re a while away from tax season, but remember to file as independent on your taxes. This means that your parents can no longer claim you as a dependent and will no longer receive a tax break from the government for housing you. What it means for you, is that you will no longer be considered part of their tax bracket. This means you’ll have a better chance at applying for financial aid, health insurance, car insurance, etc.
2. Important Documents. Get as many of your important documents (social security card, birth certificate, tax forms, etc) as possible while you’re still living with your parents. You will need this information when you move out, so find a secure place to store them.
3. Learn to cook. Obviously, cooking skills are not going to come overnight! Checkout some cook books, online recipes, or even watch a couple episodes of Chopped. The more fast, cheap, and easy meals that you’re able to prepare before you move out- the better. Here’s my Cooking 101 post.
4. College. If you are going to college or planning to go to college, talk to financial aid about becoming an “independent student”. If the school classifies you as independent, financial aid will pay for a greater portion of your education. Also please don’t have your parent’s call the school on your behalf, start taking initiative and making these calls yourself. As someone who worked in a college call center for four years, a good 80% of the phone calls I got were from parents, and legally a college can’t tell them anything.
5. Accumulate furniture. Check out thrift stores, Dollar stores, and especially yard sales. Buying all of your furniture at once can be expensive and stressful, but accumulating a few pieces over time (space permitting) can be a more effective way.
6. Doctor’s appointments. Start making your own doctor’s appointments! I love this script by @spectrumsuperhero that’s applicable to all of your doctor’s appointment needs.
7. Start building credit. At 16, you’re probably too young to apply for an actual credit card, but having some credit before you move out will help you loads in the long run. As you might be aware, some landlords ask that their tenants have a credit score before renting to them. Don’t be discouraged! It’s just something to think about.
8. First Aid. Learn some basic First Aid. I’m going to toot my horn and link my postbecause I sat through literally six hours to get certified in this stuff, and if I do say so myself, my post is rather thorough.
9. Learn to clean. Learn some basic cleaning skills- how to wash dishes, how to vacuum, what sprays clean what. These may seem like simplistic things, but many people grow up not having to do household chores. I guarantee you that not every apartment you live in will have a dishwasher, so learn some dish skills now! Learn to clean.
10. Go Shopping. Make a shopping list and go shopping at your local supermarket or grocery store. Crowded stores can sometimes be unnerving, remember the more practice you get at it, the more at ease you’ll be.
11. Learn to wash clothes. Doing laundry is something that I never did while living in my parent’s house, and the first few times doing it on my own turned out… interestingly. Get your laundry skills in tip-top shape!
12. Get transportation. Get yourself a mode of transportation that does not require your parents. Biking, walking, and using public transportation are all ways that you can get where you need to be. Get as familiar with public transportation around your city as much as possible.
13. Separate bank account. Still sharing a linked bank account with your parents? Get yourself a bank account that they don’t have access to. One of the first steps towards moving out and “Adulting” is being able to take care of your money.
14. Build your resume. Keep working on and updating your resume, even if you already have a job. You never know when you’ll need to find another one, and you don’t want to hastily throw together your resume with little notice.
15. References. Similarly, get yourself a list of professional references. These references can be teachers, guidance counselors, family friends, etc. References are useful for job applications, housing applications, and networking. Always ask before putting someone’s name down as a reference.
16. Health insurance. Start learning about what health insurance coverage you currently have- how expensive it is, how it’s paid, how long it lasts, etc. Find out if you will be able to stay on this insurance after moving out of your parent’s house.
17. Buy a First Aid Kit. A First Aid Kit is a must have for whatever apartment, room, or house is your next home! Spend $20 and buy a decent sized one that includes things like cold compresses, burn creams, and gauze.
18. Buy a Bed. The average person sleeps around 229,961 hours in their lifetime. That’s a lot of time in bed! Buy yourself a comfortable mattress (you should replace your mattress every 8-10 years), luxurious sheets and/or a memory foam pillow. Nice beds can be expensive, so start saving up for one now.
19. Learn basic repair. Get yourself a toolbox and learn some basic repair. You can find extensive articles online about everything from unclogging a drain, to tightening screws, and using caulk. Get familiar with these tools now, because you never know what type of landlord you’ll end up with. They could come promptly when requested to do repairs, or they might not.
20. Learn how to write a check. Okay but seriously- this is important. Do not let me catch you moving out of your parent’s house without knowing how to write a check. Here is @howtogrowthefuckup‘s two cents.