im actually really nervous with posting this

youtube

idk why i’m posting this here but,,,,,,,my choir went on a little tour a couple of months back and i just got a hold of one the videos my roommate took when she came to see..(catch a solo from ya girl at :48) anyway it’s a really pretty song and i just…yea lmAo ok i’m just gonna post this and stop rambling.

if you’re stressed about your grades/future: “you are young and you will take your damn time.”

A few days ago I had an emotional breakdown about my future (surprise lol.) It’s not as though this doesn’t happen daily, but it’s dawned on me that I couldn’t even discern my true desires from what my lack of self confidence was trying to feed me.

I allowed self-deprecation to get the best of me, and it turned an erroneous decision into one that seemed the most “right for my situation.” I had a plan. But I was not confident nor happy with that plan, so I fell apart. 

Parked in front of my dad’s house, I voiced the concern that–although I thought was a result of flakiness–actually stemmed from an acute source of insecurity. 

My dad then turned around and told me something that I’m positive will stay with me forever. 

“Don’t you dare feel like you have limited options based on your past mistakes. You are not limited and you will never BE limited. Don’t rule any opportunity out right now. You’re not running out of options, you just haven’t found all of them yet. You have so much power left.

I asked him what power a teen/young adult could have, and he looked at me with so much conviction and said, “Youth. You have youth, and youth itself holds so much power. You’re only 17. I wish I were 17. I wish I had that much more left in me, but I don’t. You are 17, you are young, and you will take your damn time.” 

I initially interpreted this as a projection of his own regret. But now, I interpret it as empowerment. I think about it whenever I feel completely overwhelmed by all that I have left to do. Why should I consider quitting now? I’m only 17. Many of you are also of high school, college, or graduate school age, and we have such a long way to go. We’re only so young, and compared to our parents–people who have so many decades of experience under their belt–we don’t know the half of what life has to offer us. And that’s ok, because we have so much left to experience. 

In college, I want to explore different courses. I want to find something that’s right for me, but in order to do so, I need breadth of experience rooted in thoughtful discussion and exposure to a range of things. Although I love art, I want to obtain a liberal arts education as well. And finally having said this, I realized that whatever I thought was “right” was only only a thinly veiled attempt to evade my insecurities.

Records don’t matter. Grades are trifling in the grand scheme of things. My future job is only a portion of what will comprise the best days of my life. Bad teachers, vague assignments, tough environments–I can trudge through the difficulties and I will prosper, because that’s what I can do as someone with youth on my side. This isn’t to say that someone who is older doesn’t have the same privilege. My dad wants to continue to program, and all the more power to him!

But that only exemplifies how much time we have as people who are so young. We have a leg up, and I’m certain that we need to utilize the extra time, stamina, opportunity, and youth that we have to make decisions based on our own situations–not on what other people expect of us, and certainly not according to what our stress and anxiety wants us to believe. 

(The last bit is incredibly difficult, I know. But it’s a process!) 

This isn’t to say that I’m not going to worry and stress. I will! Hell, I’m stressed right now just writing this. But I’m improving. 

Ironically, this studyblr doesn’t thrive in standardized education. This studyblr struggles not with content, but with structure. This studyblr is really nervous about the coming year. But even then, I still have so many choices that it’d be insulting of me to become my only limitation. Obstacles are not impenetrable–not when I have so much power on my side. 

6

just gonna drop every gf-related doodle i’ve drawn this month here, because boy have i slacked off on actually posting stuff lately. 

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So basically my biggest hero and artistic influence just reached 10k followers and im sooooo unbelievably proud and happy for her!!

I made a tumblr account like 3 years ago and didn’t touch it because i literally had no idea what it was or how the hell to use it. So its May 2016 and literally like 5 months prior i discovered this show called star vs the forces of evil and i can honestly tell you my world turned upside down. No joke i stared at the screen and said “i don’t know who they are but i ship it” I HAVE THE SNAPCHAT!! So anyways im super new to tumblr and i final open the app and it asked me what i like.

I typed in starco (i learned the ship name through Instagram). Literally like the first post was one by a user named atomicmangos and it was of Star and Marco missing. And me being me i was like OMFG YESS MY BBYS!! I don’t think i’ve ever clicked the follow button so fast. Another month does by and i see she does these live streams on join.me. I’ve never been to a live stream so i was actually really nervous. I downloaded the app and entered her chat room. IT WAS SOOOOO AWESOME!! AND BY FAR THE BEST DECISION IVE EVER MADE IN MY WHOLE LIFE!! There were only like 7 people there and i got to know all of them!! It was such a comfortable environment and i honestly couldn’t have asked for a better group of internet friends.

   I met my current best friend because of those live streams!! 

 She asked us we wanted to see and i literally started throwing ideas everywhere!! I didn’t think she actually liked them until SHE ACTUALLY DREW ONE OF THEM!! She drew 2 of my ideas. That may not seem like a lot but to a young artist it really opened my eyes and saw a new light on artist. They do listen to their fans. The thing with mangos is she doesn’t treat us like fans she treats us like family. Its like when ever i go to her streams i’m home… all her ideas and her au’s inspire me to draw. Because of mangos i’ve now decided what i want to do for pretty much the rest of my life. I want to be an artist. Like her. I may not be the best at it but i’m trying. I know i’ll get there one day because she told me so. She’s there for you whenever you need to talk and she’s really supportive of anything you do. I am honestly soooo lucky to befriend someone like her. She’s so hard working and i know she has a lot of work with school so the fact that she makes time for us really does mean a lot. She’s inspiring and kind and talented and over all just an amazing person!! I hope we mean a lot to her like she means a lot to us. Im sooo happy and honored to be a part of her mango fam and i will never leave. Why would i! It’s my home. 

 Those beautiful pieces of art work above were drawing i suggested and SHE DREW THEM!! LOOK THATS MY NAME!! COMETS SAYING!! But as always creds to the Amazing: @atomicmangos

To Search for a Rose

I’ve had this idea cooking in my head for a long time now and finally got it written down. I had to rush it to get it out in time before the new episode. This was actually meant to be a short 1,000-1,500 word fic, but things got out of hand and now it has 4,500+ words. I have never written a fic for White Rose (the best ship in RWBY lol).

I actually want to give a little shout out to @weissrose​. Their amazing RWBY fanfics (*cough* Foxtrot *cough*) have inspired me to write this and I just hope that I captured the characters correctly. Its a little angsty but has a happy ending.

Enjoy! :D

Keep reading

squares, triangles, and other shapes; ch1: definitely dating. definitely not lying about it.

alternate title: the most convoluted fake dating au of all time

on Ao3 | on ffnet

(that’s one hell of a title) 

i was lucky enough to hear about @chatuoir​’s incredibl(y messy) double fake dating au a month or two ago! we did a lot of screaming about it, which was always fun. anyway, lucia was awesome enough to let me try my hand at it, so here we are.

this is definitely the most complex thing i’ve written for the fandom, purely because of all the things that are happening in it. the basics of it aren’t exactly…basic. double fake dating in a love square. always fun!! also: rated t because they’re teenagers and there’s a lot of swearing.

i’ve only got the first chapter written, so updates for this fic might be a bit more spaced out! buckle up everyone, this is one hell of a rollercoaster.


Chat kicks his legs over the side of the Tower. It’s been a long patrol of mostly nothing, it’s rare that much comes up during these anyway. Usually it’s small things like robberies and assholes, almost never anything close to the size of an akuma.

Besides, it’s nice to hang out with Ladybug outside of akuma fights. When they were first starting out, patrols were mostly quiet and serious, despite his relentless attempts to crack jokes. But now he’s able to drop onto the Eiffel Tower with a greeting of, “Evening, My Lady. You look radiant as the moon tonight,” and she’ll just smile. They’re able to let conversation flow freely or sit in comfortable silence.

Chat adores having this relationship with Ladybug. He’s never had anything like this before. He never wants to lose it.

“…you’re not such a bad guy.”

He blinks. Okay, if he doesn’t want to lose her friendship, he should probably start paying more attention. “Yes,” he says, because that seems like a good response. Yeah, he’s not a bad guy. That’s true.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I'm a baby when it comes to skincare. I've always had ok skin but lately I've been breaking out really bad. I've read a lot of your posts and also done some research and I'm looking for a good exfoliant but I'm nervous to try lactic acid (mostly cause Im pretty sure Im not responsible enough to actually protect my skin from the sun). Is Honey actually an exfoliant? Should I start using argan oil to moisturize? In the past my routine has been to splash water on my face. Please help me Im a mess

honey is not an exfoliant, its a mask. And argan oil is ok to moisture. Also if youre breaking out you should get azeliac acid or benzoyl peroxide. Lactic acid 5% is super gentle you should start with patch testing to see if your skin reacts well. Just get an spf 50 and youll be alright

hhhhhhhhh im really nervous about talking about things about characters and mental illness because i feel like i want representation for something, but i dont actually know if im mentally ill and i probably never will know so i might be overstepping my boundaries

anonymous asked:

I totally loved sisters of steel im cryin a lil and its so amazing thank you for taking the time to write it, youre amazing

Oh my God I’m crying a little, thank you! I’m always so nervous to post stuff like that, especially stuff that’s Ell’s pov since she’s not really a character in the series. I’m so happy people actually appreciate it! You can expect more stuff with the Sisters of Steel in the future. :)

Just wrapped up vancaf today and it was amazing!! I met so many cool artists. AND it was really really cool to meet people who told me they follow this tumblr! Tumblr for me is a great place to post my stuff, but often i feel like it is a little bit quiet.. so to actually meet some of you was a crazy exciting thing!! If i freaked any of you out i am sorry.. i was genuinely excited and happy to meet and chat! But also overwhelmed and nervous. I was kind of a wreck because im terrible with people TuT. But just wanted to say THANK YOU! and feel free to give me a shout, i do love to interact :)

myoverdoseistoxic  asked:

I really love your blog and i think you are a lovely person too <3. So, i dont know if the requests are still open today but, can you do a long or short reaction, what you preffer. When BTS are in love with a girl who is younger than they (like fifteen or sixteen years old) and they want to confess but they are nervous bc the girl is actually the little sister of another member in te group? A really big sorry for my bad english, im a spanish speaker, so kissis from Uruguay! Have a good day <3

Your english was perfect, dont worry about it~ And I struggled a bit with this one, and I think it turned out a lot like this post I did about you being Tae’s older sister and the guys liking you, but I hope it’s different enough and that you all like it~

Gifs aren’t mine

SEOKJIN:
Seokjin was reluctant to tell anyone about his feelings for you. You were much younger than him, and in addition to that you were the younger sister of one of his band mates. It just seemed odd to him to pursue a relationship like that; but he hung out with you a lot as “friends,” and if you asked him out and your brother was okay with it, he’d most likely accept.

YOONGI:
Yoongi would consider the age gap for a while; it was a large gap, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. But, if he found that he liked you so much that the age gap didn’t bother him, then he would go for it; your older brother was an idol, so you already knew what to expect from him and his busy schedule, so that didn’t worry him as it normally would have.

HOSEOK:
Hoseok wasn’t going to let the fact that you were the younger sister of one of his band mates stop him from flirting with you. In fact, he’d use it to help him; he’d ask the band member what you liked so that he could be sure to win you over. If the band member didn’t approve, he’d back off, but he wouldn’t stop completely unless you wanted him to.

NAMJOON:
Namjoon was reluctant to make a move. He was worried about what a relationship with a band mates younger sister would do if said relationship ended badly. However, despite that, he wouldn’t exactly hide his feelings; he wasn’t afraid to flirt or sincerely compliment you, but he wasn’t going to ask you out unless every member was okay with it, not just your brother.

JIMIN:
Jimin was going to flirt with you whether you were a band member’s sister or not, but he wasn’t going to actually ask you out; not until he’d talked to your brother, at least. He wanted to make sure that him dating you wouldn’t cause a problem between him and his friends, and he’d be very serious about it; he understood your brother being protective, but he’d want a better reason than that to not date you.

TAEHYUNG:
Taehyung isn’t really the type to keep secrets from his friends, but his relationship with you would definitely be an exception to this; he’d want to date you, but he wouldn’t want to say anything until he was sure how he felt about you. The moment he said, “I love you,” was the moment he told the others, because they knew how he felt about love, and so they knew he was serious about you.

JUNGKOOK:
Jungkook wasn’t really sure what to do. He respected his hyungs and couldn’t imagine doing anything that would upset them on purpose, but he really liked you. He went back and forth a lot; he’d flirt with you, then get distant. Talk to his hyungs about you, then act like he had no idea who you were. They all knew he liked you, though, so that would only last until one of them forced him to confront his feelings.

5

MY COMMISSIONS ARE NOW OPEN!

i’m happy to announce that after some convincing i have decided to open up commissions!! :^) these are the prices i have set out, i wanted to make them as cheap as possible without selling myself short & i think these are fair!

payments must be made in CAD & via paypal - & as the canadian dollar is in a serious decline things will be cheaper for you! (for example: $5CAD = $3.84USD) ($5CAD = £2.70GBP)

i will start with 5 opening slots - they will be a first come first serve basis, & i will work on these in order, if these actually fill up & people are actually interested i will reopen the spots once i’ve finished the first 5 - so fear not if you missed it!

check out my commission page on how to order!

& if you want to buy any of my art that already exists, check out my redbubble shop!

thank you so much for reading, & even if you can’t purchase anything please reblog this post to help spread the word i really appreciate it i love u all <3333

Behold Sigmund, GalaxyGhosty and I’s Darksepticeye. I tried to make it a little animated gif thing, but it didn’t turn out too well. I can see a lot of the mistakes, but oh well, I’m not an animator lol.

The eyes normally all hang out on his chest, so you don’t see them, but they move around from time to time. I wanted to show them off here. He’s really not all that remarkable to look at, but he’s cooler looking in the other forms he has. He’s basically the boogeyman tho. He likes black licorice, eating children, and some goddamn peace and quiet. There’s a lot I wanna say about him, but that would make this post too long. Maybe I’ll get up an actual reference of him soon. You guys can ask me or GG questions about him tho ;w;